Wow, it's been a long time since an update. Schoolwork has taken over my life. I finally have a little free time to write again so here is another chapter. As promised, Merrick returns in this chapter! Enjoy!

Chapter 18

Once the Harvest Festival is over, things return back to normal…well, as normal as they can be given the circumstances. I mainly keep to myself, not leaving my house except for the occasional visit to see Gale. The problem is that he's never home. Now that he's working in the mines, I never see him. When he is home, his mother always tells me he's sleeping or not feeling well. I'm starting to think it's all a lie really. One time, before I knocked on the door, I could have sworn I heard his voice, talking and laughing at his siblings. It's not like there was any ways to prove it.

About two weeks in, Peeta finally convinced me to venture outside. He said it would improve my mood to be around people. He said it had helped him. He started taking me places in town. I suppose it was good for our image to be seen together. We are engaged after all.

I soon become sick of it all though. I hate it how people are constantly asking me if the can see my ring or asking if we've set a date yet. The last thing I want is for a date to be set. I decide to venture out to my old house in the Seam. I need to be somewhere that feels like home, somewhere to get away from it all. I make my way down the path that connects the edge of town to the Seam. As I make my way down the empty road, I hear something behind me, the sound of a twig snapping. I turn around to find myself alone. I continue down the path until I hear a branch move. I turn around again and find no one there. I can't shake the feeling that I'm being followed. After what happened during the Games and Victory Tour, I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't someone watching me, making sure I kept in line.

I leave the path, taking an alternate route to my house. It is not a route most people know about. If I am being followed, I will know it for sure. I quickly make my way through the small trail listening as I go. I hear someone or something else making noise as I walk. The untrained ear may not hear it but I am a hunter. I hear everything.

I bend over when my foot lands besides a small rock. I bend down and pretend to tie my boot, instead hiding the jagged rock in my hand. I know it is a risk to put myself in such a vulnerable position but I feel the need to arm myself. I straighten up and continue my walk as my heart accelerates. Maybe I shouldn't have ventured here by myself. My family doesn't even know where I am. I hear the noise close to me, almost behind me. I turn around and raise the rock above my head, ready to strike.

Instead of seeing someone that poses a threat to me, I see the opposite. I see a boy that would never dare hurt me. His eyes are wide, his expression full of fear. I drop the rock and run to him, wrapping my arms around.

"Merrick, what are you doing? You scared me!" I exclaim.

"I wanted to see you…I knew it wasn't safe to go to your house or to try to talk to you in town so I waited until you went somewhere more private."

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"My father got the promotion, remember? The one I told you about on the Tour. This is where he was sent." he said smiling down at me.

"How long are you here for?"

"A long time." he murmurs, nuzzling his face next to mine. I like his answer. He joins his lips with mine, kissing me deeply. I feel my desire for him return, coursing through my whole body. I'd let have me right here if he wanted, in the stillness of the woods. I reach down and unsecure the button to his pants.

"That bad?" he says with a chuckle. My cheeks flush with embarrassment as I nod my head. I'm not one to be this impulsive. He fastens his button and takes my hand.

"Lead the way, Miss Everdeen." he says extending his hand ahead of us. We walk together through the woods smiling at each other and laughing. We don't say a word though. It's kind of nice. When we finally do reach my house, we enter through the back so no one will see us. I shut the door behind me and lock it. When I turn around, he presses my body against it as he leans into me. His lips find mine again and I feel his hips connect with mine as he slowly grinds into me. I moan as I feel his arousal rubbing against me.

"Where's your room?" he murmurs in my ear. I slide myself free and take his hand, leading him to my room. We don't waste any time, undressing ourselves as soon as the door is shut. I take in his naked form while he does the same. His muscles look even more defined than they did just a month ago. I walk over to him and sweep my fingertips across his chiseled abdomen. I walk behind him, taking in his sculpted back, his firm butt. What is going on in District 2?

"They're training us extra hard for the Quell." he says, somehow reading my mind. "Not that it matters for me, but everyone is expected to participate in training."

He stops talking and admires my body, tracing every delicate curve. Now that we can afford to eat, I finally look the way I should. I look like a woman. He moves closer to me. I quiver when he brushes up against me, sending another surge of desire through me. He smiles and kisses me as he pulls me even closer. I break the kiss and push him gently away from me. I pull back the covers and lay down on the mattress, waiting for him to join me. His lustful stare travels down my body and back up again. He climbs into bed beside me begin his work, moving his lips down my body, hitting every sensitive spot. His lips part my skin when he reaches my navel. I feel his warm breath on my inner thigh before his lips make contact once again. They don't stay there for long, choosing a place far more delicate than that. I gasp and clutch the bed sheet with my hands when I feel his mouth between my legs. He lets out a laugh that reverberates on my skin, causing more pleasure. He uses his tongue to explore me. I try my best to remain still but the sensation feels so foreign to me. The lower half of me twitches and Merrick has to brace my hips with his hands to steady me. A moan rolls from the back of my throat to the air as he hits a spot that nearly sends me over the edge.

"Merrick." I pant, pulling on his hair. He resurfaces and kisses my lips. His hips connect with mine and his erection bores into my abdomen. I slide my hand in between us, taking hold of him, letting him know I am ready. He raises his hips and lowers them as I guide him inside me.

He thrusts against me in a smooth motion, like gentle waves lapping onto the shore. As time passes, his rhythm increases, accelerating my heartbeat. My breaths come ragged as my body reacts to the pleasure he is raining on me. His breaths are as labored as mine as he does his best to hold on to the moment. He succumbs, his body stiffening as he spills inside of me. He resumes his thrusting, determined to help me reach that same ecstasy. It isn't long until I'm there, my moans bellowing into the air as I climax. He removes himself from me and collapses beside me, pulling me close to him. I gaze into his eyes as I try to bring my breathing back to normal, taking deeps breaths in and out. He follows my lead, inhaling and exhaling as I do. I place my hand on the back of his neck, gently stoking the hairs on the edge of his hairline. He face takes on a curious expression and I feel his hand removing mine from him. He brings my hand close to his face as he examines the ring that rest on my finger. Curiosity is replaced with sorrow and disappointment.

"It's not real." I say.

"The ring or the engagement?" he says trying to make a joke, only he is not laughing.

"The engagement."

"Then why wear the ring?"

"Because people are watching."

"Would you really go through with it?" he asks with concern. My eyes break away from his, as I try to avoid answering him.

"It's not my decision."

"It's your life."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not in control of anything anymore. I have people to make decisions for me."

"But Katniss you don't love him…and he doesn't love you. How would that work?"

"But we would be safe. Our families would be safe."

"And what would happen to me if you married him?" he asks with pain in his eyes.

"Nothing would change. We would go on just as we are now."

"In private." he says clearly unhappy with the arrangement.

"It's the only way." I tell him.

"I don't want to share you." he says.

"You wouldn't have to."

"So how does it work? You live him with him; sleep in the same bed as him. And what would I be, your…" he trails off trying to search for the word. "Your lover on the side."

"You'd be my boyfriend." I tell him.

"Married women don't have boyfriends Katniss. At least they're not suppose to!" he says now sitting up.

"It wouldn't be a real marriage…just on paper." I say kneeling beside him.

"How could you ever want anything like that? Don't you know what marriage is about?" he says removing himself from the bed. He locates his boxers and puts them on. I follow him, grabbing my shirt and underwear to cover myself.

"Of course I do. I know what love is like. I've seen it with my parents."

"And you think you don't deserve that kind of love?" he says standing in front of me.

"I never planned on it, falling in love." I say pointing my eyes towards the ground.

"Well it's staring you right in the face, Katniss. I'm in love with you. Do you know how it feels to hear you talk about marrying some other guy, and having me as some shadow in the background? It hurts." he says. I feel horrible. Do I want to have to hide him, like some sort of shameful secret? No. It's the only way it can work though. I need to keep up the charade of being madly in love with Peeta. It will help prevent a rebellion. It will help keep the ones I love safe.

"For now, this is how it has to be." I say caressing his face. "I don't like it either. You know I don't. And you know what I feel for you. You know I love you." I tell him. He exhales, his breath wavering as he does so. He pulls me closer to him, burying his face into my hair. He then kisses the side of my neck.

"Come back to bed." I murmur into his ear. He breaks his embrace, taking my hand as I lead him back to bed. I pull back the covers and we climb inside until we are wrapped around each other beneath the covers. He strokes my hair as he gazes lovingly into my eyes. I decide not to ruin the moment with words. We can talk about this later. I cuddle close to him and feel the warmth of his body. I place my ear close to his heart and let its stead beat lull me to sleep.

Sorry to end this chapter on the a low note. Things will get better. Also, there is a huge plot twist in the next chapter (any guesses as to what?)

Don't forget to review so I know what you thought of this chapter (good and/or bad). If you have anything you'd like to see happen, let me know (maybe I'll write it somewhere into the story).

I will most likely update again some time this week so keep checking back!