Hello, everyone. So sorry for the long span of time between updates. This semester was a busy one with limited time to write. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 21

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. Prim must have already been in school by now. I lay there, still trying to make sense of the past few days. I thought about what I would say to Gale when he will inevitably ask me what happened to him after his was whipped and how I received the mark on my cheek. I thought about my next exchange with Merrick. It's no secret that I have been avoiding him. I'm dreading what will come of all of this.

I do not stir from my bed until I hear my mother call my name from the hallway. I rush to the door and swing it open. She looks surprised to see me emerge from Prim's room instead of my own.

"What's wrong?" I ask, thinking this the only reason for her to call upon me.

"I need to you to watch Gale. There's been an accident in the mines. I need to go." she says.

"How bad is it?" I ask, stiff with fear. My body always reacts this way when I hear news of a mining accident. I can only think of the injured miners and their families.

"About a dozen of them have been injured…no casualties. They need my help. You'll need to watch Gale and administer medicine if he needs it." she says as we walk down to the kitchen. She grabs her bag and stuffs it full of medical supplies. She then shows me how to administer morphling and where the snow coat is located. "He'll need to be washed, if he can sit up…"

"Why?" I ask, really wondering if it's necessary.

"Because he's dirty." is her simple answer. With that she leaves and I sit down beside Gale to watch over him. What seems like hours pass by slowly as I wait for him to regain consciousness. I rest my chin on my arms, which are crossed on the table as I stare at him. He eventually opens his eyes and stares back at me. His hand moves to my cheek where he smooths his thumb over my skin.

"You're better." he mutters. I remove his hand and touch my skin to find the gash healed.

"How are you?" I ask.

"Ok."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really. You mother gave me some medicine earlier this morning." he said. That would explain why he was passed out until noon.

"Can you sit up?" I ask him.

"Why?"

"My mother says you need to be cleaned." I tell him. He nods his head before pushing his chest off the table. I slide his legs toward me as he sit up let out a gasp. He closes his eyes as he leans forward, trying to deal with the pain. "I'll be quick."

I rush over to the counter and pour the warm water into a basin, add some soap to the water. I locate a hand towel and toss it in the water before carrying it back to him. I grab another basin with clean water and another towel as well. I start with his face, carefully wiping away the sweat without the soap reaching his eyes and mouth. I then reach for the clean cloth, removing the soap from his skin. I repeat this pattern focusing on small parts of his body: his neck, each of his arms and his chest. When I reach his abdomen, he rests his forehead on my shoulder.

"Halfway done." I inform him. "We can take a break if you need it."

"No keep going." he murmurs to me. I then wash his sides and come to a stop when I realize that I'm going to have to remove his pants. He'll need another pair to wear. His current ones are still covered in coal dust. I take him by the shoulders and sit him up straight.

"I need to go upstairs for something. Will you be ok?" I ask, making eye contact. He nods. I quickly make my way to my mother's room to retrieve a pair of pants that once belonged to my father. I make my way to kitchen, relieved to see Gale still in the position I left him in. I place the pants on the chair next to me and then work on the button of his pants. I only feel more anxious when I unzip the zipper. I then blindly take hold of the band of his pants and underwear, inching them downwards until they have left his body. I quickly grab a towel and throw it over his lap without looking. I can feel my cheeks redden just at the thought of accidently catching a glimpse.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Katniss." he said looking down at me, as I wash his leg.

"You know it makes me uncomfortable." I admit to him. I think back to all the times he'd go swimming naked in the lake. It was bad enough to see the back of him as he passed me to jump in the cool water. I could only imagine how shocking it would be to see him from the front.

"Maybe there's a reason." he answers back.

"I can barely look at myself, Gale. What makes you think I could look at you?" I ask.

"There's nothing wrong with being naked Katniss." he says as he reaches for the towel. I place my hand over his, preventing him from exposing himself.

"Don't." I warn him, looking sternly in his eyes.

"Fine." he says in a low voice, bracing the end of the table. My face softens when I wonder if they drugs are making him behave this way. He does like to tease me though. I quickly finish his other leg and then work the pants up his body, looking ahead as I pull them up to his waist.

"Can you fasten them?" I ask him.

"Katniss, I can barely hold myself up." he remarks. I do my best, trying to avoid touching any part of him as I close up his pants. I wish I could say I was successful. I also wish I could erase from my brain the moan he made when hand accidently brushed against him.

"This table…is it comfortable?" I ask him, quickly changing the subject.

"What do you think?" he asks with a huff.

"There's a guest room on this floor, down the hall. Do you think you could make it if I help you?" I ask him. The thought of a warm, comfortable bed is enough to cause him to lightly smile. I help him from sitting on the table to sitting on the chair before helping him stand up. He wraps his arm around my shoulders when he stands up straight. He winces in pain as he leans on me for support. It's a wonder that he is even still standing. I help him move around the table and we exit the kitchen. He leans against the hallway wall as we make our way, wincing with each movement.

"We're almost there. You're doing great." I reassure him.

"It hurts too much." he says resting the side of his body against the wall.

"Just a few feet more and we'll be in the room."

"Katniss, I can't." he says in defeat.

"Rest for a minute." I tell him, hoping this won't hinder his progress. He shifts against the wall, now facing towards it as he takes a few calming breaths. After a minute, I suggest we start again and help him face in the right direction. His legs give out though and before I know it, he's crashing down, taking me with him. He lands on top of me, with my bruised back pressing into the ground. I let out a scream in response. The fear flickers across his face as he makes eye contact.

"Katniss." he says, panicked.

"It's fine." I say, trying to keep my cool. I squirm out from under him and then have to drag him the rest of the way. I pull back the covers and help him climb up the side of the bed until he's lying on his stomach on the soft mattress. He lets out a sigh of relief to finally be resting in a comfortable place. I walk around to the other side of the bed and lay beside him on my side. I lie there and think about what I could do to help him. I then remember the medicine that Effie had sent from the Capitol. I race out of the room to my bathroom and retrieve the small jar before returning back to Gale.

"What's that?" he asks.

"It's what I used on my cheek. It could help you too."

"My back is pretty bad." he tells me.

"It's good medicine from the Capitol. I don't have enough for your whole back but it could at least help to heal the bad parts." I say, twisting off the lid. My fingers dip down into the cream and skim off the top layer. "This may hurt." I warn him before I gently smooth the cream over his mangled flesh. His whole body tenses up and his torturous screams piercing the air. My hands tremble as I continue my work. He buries his head in his pillow to stifle his cries after he realizes the effect they are having on me.

"Almost done." I say in shaky voice. When I'm finished, I collapse beside him, pressing my face into the side of his neck. "I'm sorry." I repeat over and over, apologizing for the pain I caused him. He tells it's fine and that I did what needed to be done. We both take a few minutes to compose ourselves. I think about how much this will decrease his recovery time, maybe by a week or two.

"I want to know what happened." he says, breaking the silence.

"You should rest." I insist.

"All I have done is rest. I have a right to know. What happened after I passed out?" he asks me. I take a deep breath, hoping it will help me muster some courage.

"After you passed out, I ran to you…to protect you. I covered your body with mine so he couldn't give you any more lashings."

"You shouldn't have." he informs me in a stern voice.

"He wouldn't stop, Gale. If I hadn't stepped in he would have whipped you until you were dead." I say getting upset.

"Your mother said you were hurt. She wasn't just talking about your cheek was she?" I shake my head, knowing that it's better to be truthful in this situation.

"Show me." he mutters. I turn my back to him and pull my shirt up just enough to see the beginning of my bruise. This isn't enough to satisfy him. I feel his hand grab onto the fabric and lift it as high he can manage.

"Catnip." he whispers as his tear stained face presses into the back of my neck.

"It doesn't hurt." I lie to him. He pushed his fingers into my discolored flesh, producing a gut-wrenching cry from the back of my throat. "Ok, it hurts a lot."

I pull my shirt down and turn to face him.

"Merrick tried to help you too before I could get to you."

"What did he do?" he asks with curiosity.

"He told him to stop."

"Where did he get the audacity to think that he could stop the Head Peacekeeper from whipping me?" he asks as he adds an incredulous laugh.

"It was his father." I say, nearly chocking on words. In an instant, I can see the shock register on his face. The tears begin to flow from my cheeks. "I had no idea his father was the new Head Peacekeeper. He never told me…only that his father got promoted. If I had known, I never would have let you make that delivery." I babble as quickly as I can before he can shut me down.

"And how does he feel about all of this?"

"I don't know. I haven't talked to him yet. I just don't understand how someone so sweet could have a father like that." I whimper.

"What do you plan to do about him?"

"I don't know." I answer back because I haven't even begun to think about what this could mean for our relationship. Could I ever look at him without thinking about what his father did to my best friend?

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Gale murmurs. "One day, he'll grown up to be just the same as his father."

"No, he could never…" I trail off, not wanting to even consider that.

"He's a Peacekeeper Katniss. Or he will be one day."

"No, he doesn't want that." I say, shaking my head. I feel as if we've had this conversation before.

"I don't think he really has a choice in the matter, does he Katniss? It's what they all do. Just like I knew my fate was becoming a coalminer, he knows what his fate is. He'll join their ranks, you just wait."

"Maybe he could be different. Maybe he could help people."

"Peacekeepers don't help people, Katniss. They help themselves. I don't think I really need to list off examples."

"No, I know." We sit there quietly, not really sure what to say although I've made it clear that I'm done talking about Merrick's future.

"The pain's starting to come back." he says. I look at the clock, which now reads 2:00.

"I'll be right back." I say before leaving for the kitchen. I locate the box with morphling, knowing the snow coat wouldn't do now that he was lying in bed. I grab a few syringes from the counter and then return to Gale who is trying his best to hold himself together. I work quickly, filling the syringe up to the line my mother showed me before jabbing it into his arm. It's amazing how swiftly the medicine takes effect and I can see him slipping away.

"Stay here." he whispers, lacing his fingers with mine. I set the syringe on the nightstand and lay beside him. I'll stay at least until he falls asleep. He nods off rather quickly and I start to wonder about this drug from the Capitol. I wonder if can take away emotional pain as well as it does physical pain. I look over to the vial resting on the stand wondering what just a little bit with do. I know it's wrong but with everything that happened in the past few days, I feel like I need to be taken away from it all, just for a little. I find a new syringe and remove the cap to expose the needle. I then draw up about half of what I gave Gale before sticking myself in the arm. The cool liquid rushes into me and I feel immediate bliss. I hide the needle in the side table drawer and lay on my back, not feeling any pain from the bruising. This feeling is a familiar feeling, one I had in the Capitol hospital after the Games. Perhaps I've had this drug before, I just wasn't aware of what it was called. The room grows darker as my eyelids drooped down slowly, blocking out the world. I reach that place of pure happiness.

I wake up hours later. There is no sunlight peeking through the closed shade, indicating that it must now be nighttime. I wonder how late it is. I look over at the clock but it's too blurred to read.

"You've slept all day." Prim says, startling me as she turns on the light on the table next to the bed.

"I didn't sleep well last night." I lie to her.

"Dinner's ready. Mom told me to come get you."

"Can I eat in here? I don't want to leave him." I say stroking his arm. The truth is, I want to eat here because I don't think my legs could carry me to the kitchen without falling a few times.

"I'll see what mom says." Prim says before leaving the room. I lay back down, and wait. Prim returns with a tray with two bowls on it. "I brought one for Gale too." she comments. As soon as she leaves the room, I quickly consume the stew in my bowl, my hunger taking over. I then slop the liquid on the bottom with a piece of bread that was also on the tray. When I'm finished eating, I nudge Gale to wake him. It's been days since he's had anything to eat. He gazes up at me, his eyes still clouded from the medicine.

"Hungry?" I ask, to which his nods his head. I experiment to find a way for him to sit comfortably while I feed him. He decides the best way is to prop himself up on his forearm while laying on his side. It's an awkward angle and I try my best to keep the stew on the spoon. There are a few drips now and then but he doesn't seem to care.

"You're quiet." he says after swallowing a big bite.

"I don't really know what to say." I tell him. I'm not one for mindless chatter and he knows that.

"We should go hunting." he says out of the blue.

"Now?" I ask, flabbergasted.

"No, when I get better. I miss hunting with you." he says leaning against my shoulder. "I miss you all the time." I know he wouldn't be saying this without the morphling. Gale rarely shows his emotions, even to me.

"We'll go when you're better."

"I can only go on Sundays cuz of the mines." he says as if I didn't already know that.

"I know. I'm going to check your back and then you should get some rest."

"You'll stay?" he asks me. I'm not sure why all of a sudden he feels the need for me to stay with him.

"Ok." I say. I lay him down on his stomach and brighten the light in the room. It looks drastically better than it did this morning. The deep gashes were only a centimeter deep.

"How is it?" he asks.

"Much better." I softly tell him. I turn off his light and return to my side of the bed before turning mine off too. The room is dark except of the little sliver of light that peeks in from the hallway. I close my eyes and let the rest of the morphling running in me take me under.

When I wake up the morning I feel myself enveloped in the arms of another. I wish for it to be Merrick but I know it's not. He's not the person I fell asleep next to last night. My best friend is holding me close to him, taking care not to put too much pressure on my back. I don't think he suspects me being awake yet, which is good. I need to think about what I should say. I've never been this close to him ever in my life. Maybe when we are hunting but that is different.

I feel his arm hug my waist as he breathes me in. My muscles twitch when I feel his breath on my neck, giving up my cover. He lies next to me silently, perhaps too thinking of what to say.

"What does he have that I don't have?" he asks in a low voice. Before I can come up with a reply, he adds a, "nevermind." He doesn't have to say it. I know what he is thinking. Money.

"You know that doesn't matter to me."

"But it doesn't hurt." he adds.

"Gale, I love him." I say. He doesn't even acknowledge my last statement, instead choosing to say something totally unrelated.

"People always thought we would end up together, eventually. I'd hear them talking about us in the Hob, or when we walked together in the Seam. I thought it would happen too." I turn around to face him, feeling awkward having such a serious conversation with my back turned towards him.

"It would never work."

"You've never given me a chance."

"Yes I did. I let you kiss me in the woods and I felt nothing."

"Because you just stood there."

"I was in shock."

"So kiss me now." he mutters.

"Why?"

"To see if you feel anything." he says. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. How could I feel something for him? He's my best friend. He then follows up his last remark. "Just one kiss and I'll never bring it up again."

It seems like a good deal. One short kiss and I'll never have to hear him tell me he loves me or things like that. I tell him okay and move my mouth closer to his, closing my eyes once I reach my target. Our lips move together in a slow rhythm. I don't know what I was so worried about. It's just a kiss, lips touching lips. It means noth—.

Before I can finish that thought, something very strange and unexpected happens. My heart seems to skip a beat, creating a rush of electricity through my body. I slowly pull away from him, stopping myself from feeling anything more. His eyes are still closed and his mouth hovers closer to mine, obviously wanting more. I gently rub his chest, letting him know that it's over. His eyes look into mine, silently asking me if I felt anything. I shake my head. I feel bad lying to him but I can't let him know that he had an effect of me. He lies on his stomach and faces away from me. I can't tell if he's more upset or embarrassed. I doubt this has ever happened to him before. I am probably the first girl in all of District 12 to refuse Gale Hawthorne.

"I'd like to be alone now." he says with a wavering voice.

"Gale." I whisper, lightly touching his shoulder.

"Just go, Katniss." he tells me. I don't say anything more. I remove myself from the bed and walk to the door, closing it quietly once I exit. I pass my mother as I walk away. She asks me what's wrong but I ignore her. As I travel to the front of the house, I walk past the staircase and open the door instead. The cold air hits me, almost taking my breath away. Once I'm off my porch, I can feel the wind blow through my clothes, prickling my skin. I don't turn back for a jacket; I continue forward to my destination. Warm tears flow down my cheeks, which turn to icy streams. Why did this have to happen?

Don't forget to review! ;) I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter or any predictions about what will happen next.

Also, expect more frequent updates now that it is summer!