Chapter 23
When I reach Prim, I take her by the arm and pull her into the corner of our empty living room.
"Katniss." she says in distress.
"Prim you don't understand." I start but she cuts me off.
"How could you do that to Peeta?" she asks with tears in her eyes.
"Prim—."
"I have to tell him." she said.
"Prim, it's not real!" I say, bracing her shoulders to steady her.
"But he loves you…and you love him. I saw you together."
"You need to listen. It was a set up to get sponsors in the game. Haymitch arranged it all."
"But I've seen the way he looks at you. He loves you."
"Yeah, he's a good actor. Listen you can't tell anyone about this, ok? Not mom, not your friends. No one can know about us. Do you understand?" She nods her head in response.
"Who is that boy?" she asks.
"You've met him before last summer. Remember, he took me on a date. I wore that red dress." I say.
"Yes. So he's your boyfriend?" she asked still confused.
"Yes, he is."
Our mother, who has been looking for Prim, interrupts our conversation. She mentions something about wanting to make her rounds to the injured miners' house before the snow starts to fall.
"But what about Gale?" I ask in a panic.
"You'll have to watch him." she states.
"No I can't!" I exclaim. I'm still not ready to be alone with him.
"Stop being selfish, Katniss." my mother barks at me. She's still unaware of the exchange Gale and I have had…or at least she doesn't let onto it.
"Fine!" I shout, stomping away from her. I go to the guestroom, where Gale is propped up on his side, reading a get well soon card made by Posy with large hearts drawn on the front. I sit in a chair by the bed, not speaking a word. I just take in the large smile he has on his face. Curious to see what has him smiling, I move next to him, looking over his shoulder. Posy has written him something, which I am having a hard time reading. He seems to understand it. There is also a drawing of him laying in bed with a thermometer in his mouth. Hazelle obviously left out details about what happened.
"Looks just like you." I joke, trying to keep the mood light.
"Nose is a little big." he says raising a brow.
"Looks just like you." I repeat, teasing him. It's not 2 seconds later that he's pinning me to the mattress, telling me to take it back. We're instantly quiet, looking back at each other, the tension palpable in the air. This would have been totally innocent a few days ago, before we shared that kiss. I scoot out from under him to prevent anything from happening. He doesn't put up a fight.
"You're moving well." I say, trying to establish some sort of balance.
"The medicine helped." he says.
"Yeah, good."
"Katniss, you don't have to stay here. I'll be fine." he tells me which leads me to wonder if he heard my exchange with my mother before she left. I'm not sure if he really means it or if he's testing me to see what I will do. "Katniss, really. If I need you, I'll call for you." he adds. I nod and then quickly exit the room.
I decide to make myself useful and head to the kitchen to start dinner for the night. After yesterday's pathetic offering of sandwiches to Peeta, I reconcile that the sooner I learn to cook, the better. After looking through the pantry and fridge to see what I have to work with, I sit down at the table with a recipe book to find something that won't be too difficult to make. I settle on a casserole that consists of layering a few ingredients, then baking it.
I begin my work, humming along as I go along. It's pretty straightforward, boil some noodles, sauté some meat, then layer them with sauce and cheese. After the pan of food is in the oven, I go to the guest room to check on Gale. I find him in bed fast asleep. As I watch him, I can't help but think of that kiss. Even just thinking about it is enough for my body to respond, recreating the reaction I felt when his lips were on mine. I'm still not sure how I could have felt that way. He had been my friend for all those years. We'd hunt together and find ourselves in close proximity. I never felt even the slightest twinge. Why is it happening now?
I then start to think that maybe this has nothing to do with him. Perhaps those feelings were a result of some sort of physical need that wasn't being fulfilled. After all, at the time I wanted Merrick and had no way to keep myself satisfied. I stand up and leave the room, choosing to believe this theory. I only felt something for Gale because of my need for Merrick. It had nothing to do with Gale at all. He was a placeholder, really, as horrible as it sounds.
I decide on watching television to pass the time. On the screen are Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, near the beginning of their commentary. It's hours until the reading of the card, but the Capitol likes to draw out these events. After all, this is entertaining to them. They are currently talking about the mentors for the Quell in sequential order by district. When they reach our district, the two men seem even more interested. They refer to us as the star-crossed lovers, which is ironic since there is nothing keeping us apart. In fact it's quite the opposite. They talk with eagerness when discussing how they think we'll do as mentors. Caesar seems to think we will do great but then again he's pretty optimistic.
After discussing mentors, they make their own speculations about the Quell card before taking calls from the Capitol citizens to get their predictions. Some people think the pool of potential tributes will be widened to any citizen living in the district, others think that the number of tributes per district will be even greater then the last Quarter Quell. One woman that calls in suggests that they'll reap family members of the victors for the Quell. My heart drops when I hear this when I think about how that could actually be written on the card. The woman then goes on to say how interesting it would be to have my little sister in the Games to see how she would fare with me as her mentor. Anger boils insides of me when I hear how casually she speaks about all of this. A let out a shout as I throw the pillow I had been clutching onto at the screen. I escape from the living room taking long strides as I wipe away my tears. If they reap Prim, I don't know what I will do. There is no way she'd survive the Games, even with me looking out for her.
I wait in the kitchen for the timer to go off. While I wait, I try to calm myself, taking deep breaths in and out to steady my racing heart. Fifteen minutes later, the timer beeps. I remove the pan from the oven, setting it on the stove to let it cool. After waiting a few minutes, I cut a small piece and put it on a plate, wanting to test it to make sure it's actually edible. When I take that first bite, I am surprised to find that it actually tastes good. I only hope everyone else agrees. I cut two large squares and put them into containers to take to Peeta. With his orders from my mother to go easy on his leg, I doubt he'll be cooking and baking like he usually does. I check on Gale once more before leaving my house, grabbing Peeta's coat from the railing to return to him.
I knock a few times on his door before letting myself in.
"It's me!" I shout as I walk further into his house, into his living room where he is relaxing on the couch. He looks happy to see me even though I had only just saw him this morning. I sit beside him and tell him I have a surprise for him. He looks intrigued and asks me what I have brought after noticing my bag.
"Dinner." I say with a smile.
"Sandwiches?" he asks with a smirk. I give him an stern look for his snide comment.
"I worked very hard on this." I tell him, reaching for a container. I open the lid and let the aroma waft through the air toward him.
"Smells good." he says. I take a fork from my bag and use it to cut through a small section before loading it onto the utensil.
"Be honest." I say as hold it in front of his mouth.
"Okay." he replies before eating from the fork. A few seconds later, I hear him letting out an approving 'Mmm' to let me know what his thinks.
"Good?" I ask just to make sure.
"Very good. You make this on your own?" he asks, grabbing the container and fork from me. He cuts off another section and takes a bite.
"Yes." I say, quite proud of myself. "There's some for tomorrow too." I tell him as I remove the other container from the bag. I leave temporarily to place the container in the fridge and return to find him still eating.
"You might want to slow down there." I tease, sitting on the edge of the couch.
"Mmn-hmm." he says shaking his head as he chews his food. I then realize that this is probably the first meal that someone has cooked for him in a while, which saddens me. I hate the fact the he lives in this big house all by himself. I should really do this for him more often.
"I'm glad you like it." I tell him with a smile. While he is finishing his meal, I apply more medicine to his leg and wrap it again, the way my mother showed me. He hands me the empty container, which I place back in my bag and he stretches out on the couch. He pats the space next to him, indicating he wants me near him. I lay on my side, facing him.
"Thank you." he says pulling me closer for a hug.
"For dinner?" I ask.
"For taking care of me." he clarifies. I can see the gratitude in his expression as he looks at me. "You're the one person that never gives up on me."
"You'd do the same for me."
"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." he then says getting sentimental.
"Peeta…" I sigh.
"Katniss it's true, and I don't think I've even thanked you for it after all this time. Despite my leg and my family and our situation, I'm glad I'm still here." he says.
"I'm glad you're here too." I murmur. I could not imagine what life would be like without him here. While there are no romantic attachments involved between us, I care for him so much. He was my district partner, the only person there for me during the most terrifying time in my life. He gave me a purpose to keep going in the Arena, wanting to make sure that one of us made it back to District 12. I hold him tighter in our embrace before letting go.
"You're going to be a great mentor." he whispers. This time, I don't cut down his remarks; I smile, taking the compliment.
"We'll both be great, together." I tell him which causes him to smile back.
I tell him that I have to get back, that I'm supposed to be looking after Gale while my mother is away. He asks me to come to back tomorrow to talk about whatever the outcome of the reading of the card will be. I agree to it and am then on my way. I manage to make it back a few minutes before Prim and my mother return, lucky they didn't find Gale left unattended. As they enter the kitchen, I am setting four places at the table for dinner. Both look impressed that I have dinner ready. They know I've never cooked before. I ask Prim to get Gale while I continue my preparations.
"Something smells good." I hear Gale say as he enters the room. He is wearing a shirt for the first time in over a week, now that his back is healing.
"Katniss made dinner." my mother says with raised brows.
"Oh really?" he says with the same expression as he takes a seat. I know they are surprised but really? I'm almost 17 and it's not like I'm totally incompetent. I slap him on the arm, letting him know my annoyance.
"Ouch, Catnip." he says rubbing his arm as I glare back at him. "What was that for?"
"You know why." I respond before sitting down in my own seat.
"Katniss." my mother says in a disapproving tone. "That's not how we treat guests."
"He's the one undermining my abilities. And he's not a guest, he like my brother." I say, adding that cutting remark to throw salt in the wound. He doesn't like it and shows it by standing up from his seat and leaving the room. My mother shakes her head at me before following him. It's their fault, not mine, for teasing me like that. I almost forget that Prim is still in the room until I hear her ask if we can start without them. I'm surprised that she'd ask something like that. She's so polite. I can tell that she's interested in trying my creation. I say yes and we both start eating. It makes me smile when she sees how much she is enjoying it. As we eat, the two of us talk and I must say it's nice to have a conversation, just the two of us. It's been a long time since this has happened.
My mother and Gale return just as we are finishing our meal. His eyes are red and puffy and my mother is rubbing his shoulder. I feel a wrenching in my stomach. I just wanted to put him in his place, not make him cry. My mother gives me a look and I know that she knows everything that's happened between us: that he confessed his love for me, that I refused him, that we kissed. Before Gale can sit back down, I take his hand and lead him out of the room, to the staircase where we have a seat.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I apologize.
"Then why did you say it?" he asked with hurt in his eyes.
"Because I knew it would make you mad." I mutter. "You were making fun of me."
"I was not." he insists.
"You implied that I couldn't cook."
"Because I've never seen you cook a day in our life! Sorry if I was a little surprised." Gale says with a raised voice.
"Just don't do it again." I say descending the two stairs in front of me. I'm done fight about it.
"I told your mom about us…about how I feel about you." he corrects himself. I turn around and stand in front of him.
"What did she have to say?" I asked feeling a little fearful about her reply.
"She listened mostly. Katniss, I don't understand why I'm not good enough for you."
"Gale, it has nothing to do with that." I say pressing my forehead against his. "There's nothing wrong with you." I whisper.
"Then why can't you love me?" he asks. We both stay silent as I try to find the words. The truth is I feel something. I don't know if it's love but it's definitely some sort of affection for him. He breaths in slow, controlled breaths, trying to keep himself balanced. Our faces are so close that I can feel his breath on my lips, warming then with each exhale. I feel drawn to them, like ship is to a lighthouse during a perilous storm. I place my hands on his shoulders to steady myself from dizzying effect that's taking over me. He must notice I need some help because he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer. A moment later he speaks.
"I wish I could go back and erase it all, the kiss in the woods, telling you I loved you in the cabin, that kiss we shared in the guest room." he said sniffling through his tears. "I hate what we've become….whatever this is. I just felt that way for so long, I couldn't keep it inside any longer."
"How long?" I murmur.
"About two years. I tried to keep it inside. When I saw you kissing him, I was jealous. I wanted to make you feel like that. I thought once he left, I might have a chance but I could tell you still felt things for him. I waited for longer, hoping for the right opportunity. After almost losing you in the Games, I knew I wanted to at least tell you how I really felt…it took me a while but I did it."
"Gale you could have any girl in District 12." I say, still unsure about why he's so wrapped up in me. There are tons of girls that are better than me, prettier than me.
"Not any girl."
"Gale." I whisper, wrapping my arms around the top of his shoulders hugging his body against mine, hoping to comfort him. I really don't want to cause him any pain. I don't want him to suffer from heartache. I want him to be happy, just like any other friend would. I feel him nuzzle his face into my neck and jump when I feel his mouth make contact with the skin on my neck. I stifle the moan that's begging to be released from inside of me as his lips press hot kisses onto my delicate skin. I push him away, fearful of what could happen if I don't stop him soon.
"You can't do things like that." I say with a wavering voice. "I have a boyfriend."
"You're back together?" he asks.
"He stopped by yesterday."
"Congratulations." he sputters as he moves around me. I watch him walk down the hallway, slamming the door to guest room after he enters. I sit back on the stairs and lean against the railing, tears falling onto the stairs below me. Peeta was wrong. There was no going back now. My friendship with Gale Hawthorne is officially over.
I'm sure all the Galeniss fans are shouting out a long "Noooooooo" after reading this chapter. Don't worry, Gale isn't out the picture just yet. Next chapter will have the reading of the card and reactions from Katniss, Merrick, Gale, and others. Will I keep it the same as in the book? You'll just have to wait and find out ;)
Also, don't forgot to take a minute to review! I love hearing what my readers have to say whether it's a scene they liked (or didn't like) or about my writing style. I want my writing to be the best it can be! Suggestions are also welcomed :)
P.S. This fanfic will be updated on a weekly basis. I will be alternating between updating chapters from this story and my other story, Into the Great Unknown. If you get bored between updates for this story, check out my other stories!