Been a while since I've updated this one! Here you go!
Chapter 24
It isn't long before I'm back in the same room as Gale being forced to watch the reading of the card. I can feel the tension in the air as we sit on opposite sides of the room. I keep my eyes glued to the television but I can feel his eyes on me. I won't give him the satisfaction of returning his stare. I turn the volume up to tune out my thinking. I must have gone too far because Prim is complaining about the volume and her ears. I turn it back down and my thoughts return. Thoughts about Gale. I know what he's thinking. He's wondering how I could ever be with someone whose father could almost beat him to death. I can him hear in my head shouting that very question at me. He might even go as far to say that he'd do the same, like it's some sort of genetic marker.
I finally regain focus when I see President Snow behind a podium giving a speech about the Dark Days and the explanation of what the Quarter Quell signifies. He recounts the past two Quells and the special way they selected the tributes. Both sound horrible and I can only image what the card will read for this year.
A little boy then brings him a box from off stage and hand it to him. Inside are envelopes that have yellowed from time. He holds up the envelope with the number 75 written neatly on the front for all to see before removing the slip of paper from inside.
"On the 75th anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors." he reads.
I try to absorb what I just heard but the shrieks and cries coming from my mother and sister are all that I can hear. The words he just read are emblazoned on the screen in bold lettering. I read it again and my heart stops. I finally realize what this means. I am going back.
Before I know it, I am upright and I'm running away from the room, out the back door. My boots sink deep into the foot of snow that has already accumulated. A sea of snowflake dance around me in the wind but I don't let them keep me from reaching my destination. I run until I reach the fence. I fall backwards when I hear the buzz reverberating through the metal wire. He turned it on. Snow must have known I'd run. Damn him. I turn around walk away, however I am not ready to return home yet. I'm not ready to face the others. Instead I run to my tree in the Seam, the second most comforting place for me, apart from the woods. I sink down to ground and lean my back against its trunk before crying into my knees. I have to go back into the Arena. Back to killing and fighting to survive…unless I don't survive. I could always sacrifice myself for Haymitch or Peeta, so one of them will make it out. Something inside me tells me that Peeta will be my district partner again. I doubt he would let Haymitch volunteer for him and he would volunteer for Haymitch in a second, if only to make sure I make it out alive. I remind myself to have a chat with him about that.
I'm broken from my thoughts when I hear footsteps running towards me. I tuck my face into my thighs, hoping that my dark hair and clothing will help me to camouflage with the tree bark. I hear a sliding sound and then a pair of arms wrap around me.
"Don't touch me!" I say, swatting at the mystery person. Perhaps it's a Peacekeeper, coming to collect me to make sure I will not flee. I wouldn't be surprised if all the victors aren't being rounded up for the same reason. The person doesn't heed my warning and now has me sitting in his lap with his arms wrapped around me.
"Katniss." a shaky voice whispers with grief. I look up to find my thought to be assailant is really Merrick.
"Merrick." I respond, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face into his scarf. "I—I—"
"I know." he murmurs softly. I can tell he is crushed by the news that I'll be returning to the Games. I'm about to ask him if he thinks I can make it out alive when he starts to talk. "I'll train you…make you as good as the Careers…no, better than the Careers." he says with vigor.
"Merrick." I whisper.
"You have to make it out. You understand me?" he says with fire in his eyes.
"I don't—"
"No." he says, preventing me from saying the negative comment that was about to follow. "You're strong, you're smart, I love you, and there is no way I'm going to lose you. Not in there of all places."
"Merrick, I'm scared." I whisper softly, exposing my vulnerability to him. I feel his lips on mine, warming my own as they sweep against me. I place my hand behind his neck to prevent him from stopping it anytime soon. As tragic as this situation is, this is thing I need most. I need this feeling of love and passion circulating deep within me, to make me feel that I'm not alone. I need to forget about everything right now and just concentrate of him and me. His hands start a trail from my cheeks to my neck, down my shoulders and arms until they rest securely on my waist. His lips break from mine.
"Where's your coat?"
"Oh, I'm not wearing one." I realize as I tug on my damp sweater.
"That's been happening a lot."
"Not on my list priorities."
"Come on. Let's get you home and out of these wet clothes." he says, pulling me off the ground. We walk quietly, hand in hand, as we take the back way to my house. He leads me up the back and opens the door without a knock. He pokes his head into the living room, telling my family he found me and then leads me upstairs to my room. I stand at the foot of my bed, frozen as my body acclimates to the inside temperature. He doesn't waste any time peeling the layers of clothing from my body until I'm down to my bra and underwear. I clench my arms across my body as the shivering takes over. He leaves my side, digging through my drawer for something for me to slip on. The dimness in the room and his unfamiliarity of my dresser drawers provide a challenge for him. I slip past him, getting between the dresser and him.
"I can dress myself." I say, snaking my arms behind his neck. A smile flashes across his face and quickly disappears. I look up at him but his stare is in the mirror behind me. I look over my shoulder to see what all the commotion is about and quickly discover why he looks so frightened. He's staring at the bruises on my back.
"How did you get these?" he asks but the angry tears in his eyes are a giveaway that he already knows. I don't speak. Saying it out loud isn't going to change anything. He then asks me to turn around, which I do. I can feel my body tremble, not sure if it's from the lack of clothing on my body or the fact that he's taking in the patches of color on my back.
"Fuck." he says through sniffles as he presses his face into my neck. It's only the second time I've ever heard him cuss in his life. I turn back around and plant soft kisses on his lips to alleviate the pain. He returns the kisses at first but then his lips are quivering so profusely that he can't match my rhythm. It isn't long before he stops trying.
"Tell me what you are thinking." I say as I rub his shoulders.
"I'm thinking about how a man should never strike a woman." he says with a somber expression.
"I guess some men aren't taught that." I tell him. It's not an excuse by any means but it is true.
"Who do you think taught me that?" he says with exasperation. He takes a calming breath before speaking again. "It makes me wonder what else he does when I'm not around."
I can only imagine what is going through his mind right now. He's probably second guessing every piece of advice his father ever told him, wondering if his father lives by his own words.
I slip away from him to remove my undergarments and change into a pair of pajamas. I then take his hand and lead him to my bed and remove his coat before climbing in bed. He stays in place not moving a muscle. I pat the spot next to me to indicate that I want him to join me.
"I can't stay the night." he says.
"Just for a little, then." I reply tugging on his arm. He slips his shoes off and then joins me, lying close to my body. His hand caresses my hip but this touch is not sufficient for me.
"Merrick hold me." I murmur.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"You had no problem holding me when we were at our tree."
"That was before I knew."
"Merrick please." I beg quietly. He wraps his arm around me, avoiding the areas that were badly bruised. I bury my face into his chest and begin to cry as my mind wanders back to news announced from the Capitol tonight.
"Katniss." he whispers loosening his hold on me.
"I don't want to go back." I whimper. He lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me with more passion than I've ever felt from him before. He ends the kiss sooner than I would like, suggesting I get some rest. I nestle up to him and close my eyes, grateful to have him here beside me.
When I wake the next morning, I find myself in a different set of arms than the ones that held me last night. I wonder if he's been here all night, taking the place of Merrick after he left or if he slipped in during the early hours of the morning. Either way, Gale is here, his body entwined with mine. I'm unsure what I should do next. He's too light of a sleeper for me to get away without being detected.
Instead, I lie there studying his features. Exhaustion and worry are written on his face, even with his eyes closed. He might have been up for the better part of the night, thinking about my fate and trying to find a way to save me. I finally decide to break away from him to use the restroom. My sudden movement rouses him and I find him clutching onto my arms.
"I'll be right back." I say lowering my lips to his forehead, a gesture that I realize might be a little too romantic. It's too late to take it back now. His body relaxes, melting back into the mattress as he releases his grip. I leave for a few minutes and return to find him in the same state I left him, that happy medium between sleep and awake. His senses seem to heighten when he feels me sink into bed, bringing him back to the present.
"Catnip." he sighs.
"I know." I say because I'm not ready for the long speech he has planned out about how he knows I can win the Quell. I already heard it last night from a different boy and am not willing to hear it again.
"Let's run away." he whispers to me, enveloping me in his arms. I'm not sure if he's serious or he's still half asleep.
"Run away?" I repeat.
"We could do it. I've always said we could." he says briefly kissing my jaw, sending a bolt of electricity through my body.
"They turned the fences on last night. I checked." I say, hoping this will be enough to kill his dreams of escaping.
"I'll go insane if I have to see you set foot in that arena again." he tells me.
"Insane?" I question him. "That's quite a statement you made Gale Hawthorne."
"You weren't even here do see me the during the last one. I lost it, Katniss. Ask my mom and she'll tell you. Had to call your mom over to try to find something to calm me down."
"What do you think my chances are of me winning the Quell?" I ask with curiosity.
"I don't even want to have to consider that question."
"Well you'll have to eventually. I'm the only female victor." I tell him.
"Katniss, I love you." he murmurs. I'm not sure how I should reply.
"I know." I respond with the only words that will come to me. I can't say I love him too without him taking it the wrong way, thinking of it as some big declaration. The truth is I do love him. Maybe not in the romantic way, but definitely in the way when one cares for another. I shift our bodies and place my face on his chest with my ear right over his heart.
In the process of listening to his heartbeat, I must have lulled off to sleep because when my eyes open, the sunlight is brighter in my room. Gale has remained underneath me and is currently brushing his fingers through my loose waves. I shift slightly to let him no longer asleep. We lay in silence until the sound of my stomach rumbling disrupts the peace.
"Hungry?" he asks.
"Mmm-hmm." I mumble. He scoots out from under me.
"What would you like Miss Everdeen?" he asks, resting his chin on the mattress, near my own face.
"Surprise me." I answer back. I'm not really sure what Gale's skills are when it comes to food preparation. He's a hunter. He locates and gathers food. He leaves the rest to others. Once he leaves the room, I scoot further up the bed and lay my head on a pillow, bringing the covers closer to my body. Gale returns a while later with a tray full of random foods on plates. I can't help but laugh at his selection. A cook he is not. He tries to hide it but I know my reaction has hurt him.
"I'm sorry." I quickly apologize.
"Sorry I'm not as talented as your fiancé." he cuts back. It was only a matter of time before he'd bring that up again.
"He's not my fiancé." I correct him.
"Looks that way." he says, taking my ringed hand in his.
"Things aren't always what they seem to be. You know that."
"At least you won't have to go through with the wedding." he huffs.
"What do you mean?"
"One of you isn't making it out alive. Pretty hard to have a wedding with one of the participants in a coffin." he says, getting dark about it. A slap him in response. This isn't something you joke about.
"Which one of us will be in the coffin?" I quip, since he finds this so funny.
"Won't be you." he says, plopping a berry in his mouth. "Peeta Mellark barely made it out of the first one. He has no chance. Too many liabilities…that bad leg of his and you."
"What about me?"
"He'd do anything to keep you alive."
"I'm not really sure why."
"You are so oblivious." he says with a snicker.
"About what?" I ask, my anger growing. I never let anything get by me. Ever.
"About the effect you have on men. You leave quite an impression."
"Not with him."
"I'd be surprised if he wasn't in love with you too."
"It was just an act."
"You sure about that?" he asks. There is a silence as I try to piece together everything about Peeta and I. Now I'm really confused.
"Get out." I mutter calmly, not making eye contact. He doesn't budge. I look to him and push him towards the edge of the bed. "I said leave."
"Katniss." he sighs as if I'm overreacting. "Fine I'm sorry."
"Why would you even say that?"
"Because I'm jealous as hell." he admits.
"He's probably the last person I'd think you'd be jealous of." I admit.
"Why wouldn't I be jealous of him? He has the thing I want the most." he says closing the space between us. His words and proximity make me uncomfortable.
"A fake leg?" I say, making a stupid joke that isn't remotely funny.
"You." Gale replies, his face a few inches from mine. That bubbly feeling returns in my chest and I try to do everything I can to suppress it. He must be feeling bold today because he lets his lips connect with mine. I let them linger for a few seconds before doing anything about it. I inch myself away from him creating enough space for our lips to part.
"We can't be friends if you keep on doing that." I tell him.
"Good, I don't want to be friends." he says, advancing closer to me. I duck out of the way, knowing that if he tries it again, I might not have the willpower to stop.
"I don't want that from you." I lie, hoping I said it convincingly enough.
"It would help if you weren't so damn charming."
"Charming? Me?" I puff in disbelief. "Gale, I'm awkward. I never know the right things to say. I'm average at best."
"You don't really believe that." he mutters.
"I wouldn't say it if it weren't true."
"You're the Girl on Fire. A boring person doesn't get a name like that."
"It's just a stupid nickname."
"I think it's pretty accurate." he tells me. I can feel my body shaking in anticipation, secretly wanting him to do things to me that I would never admit. If I'm the Girl on Fire, then he has to be the Boy on Fire. He creates a spark in me, igniting me, letting the fire spread. How do you extinguish these kinds of flames, the invisible ones that are concealed from view? If I knew the answer, I'd quickly take the remedy. Maybe an ice cold shower will help to quench the fire raging inside me. I excuse myself, quite awkwardly, grabbing some clothes from my dresser before locking myself in the bathroom.
I quickly strip myself free of any clothing and set the shower to the coldest setting available. To be honest, I'm surprised the Capitol even made this setting, perhaps for citizens who are in the same situation I find myself. The icy jets pierce my skin like a hundred needles but I am no longer thinking about the things I want to do to Gale Hawthorne. I stay in there until I have returned to normal and then warm the water to take a proper shower. Jets of warm air dry my body once I'm finished and I dress myself for the day.
When I enter the room, I find if empty. I've embarrassed him again, rejecting his affections. I make my way downstairs, being careful to avoid him. I then figure he's probably in the guest room, the one place he can find solitude here. I want to see him to apologize. I'm not sure what I want to apologize about but it's really just an excuse to make sure he's ok. I turn the knob to his room but find it empty. That's weird. I thought for sure he would be here.
I walk into the kitchen and find my mother inventorying her medical supplies, drowning herself in her work to try to cope with the fact that I'm going to be in the Quell.
"Where's Gale?" I ask, walking further into the room.
"He went home."
"But his back!" I exclaim.
"It's healed enough, Katniss. Besides, you know there's no stopping that boy when he's determined."
"Determined for what?" I ask confused.
"Said he wanted to return to the mines as soon as possible."
"Why would he want that?" I ask.
"To provide for his family."
"But we've been helping them; making sure they had food and money while he was out of work." I say.
"You know how proud he is." my mother responds. It's true, I do know how he is in that way, but I have a feeling there are other reasons involved with his decision. I can't shake that I'm part of the reason for his early return. He wants to put as much distance between us as he can. Even if that means returning to a place that he hates. Anything to escape me.
Don't forgot to review ;) and also to check out my two new stories I am working on (Into the Great Unknown and Dotted Lines)! Thanks