Sorry it's been so long since my last update (almost 4 months...wow!) Things have been super busy in my life and I haven't had time to write. Hopefully that will change soon and that there will still be people reading this story! Enjoy!

Chapter 26

I wake up to the sound of my alarm for the first time in forever. I made a promise to my friend. I'll already let him down enough over the past couple of months. I'm not about to fail to show up at our spot. He's sacrificing a day of sleeping in to do this. I can't afford to be late.

I quickly ready myself and then breeze out the back door, making my way to the fence. As I approach it, I feel a little unsettled. Last time I was near this fence, there a low hum of electricity emanating from it. The sound of silence is enough to calm me and I slide underneath the gap before retrieving my gear and starting for our spot. I fall back into my old pattern, taking the same route peacefully through the lush green foliage. When I reach the clearing, I find that I'm the first one there. I sit on the rock and take the time to appreciate the scene around me. For the first time in a long time I feel happy. I feel free. I close my eyes and feel the summer breeze float across my skin. I then fix my eyes to the section of woods I know Gale will take and wait for him. Time passes. He might just be running late. More time passes. I grow restless. Where is he? He said 9 a.m. It's closer to 10 now. My impatience gets the best of me and I decide to retrace my route back to District 12 hoping to run into him along the way. The closer I get to District 12, the more angry I become. Hot tears run down my face as I come to the conclusion that he stood me up. How dare him after all that talk to Merrick about pushing me to get better. I thought he was on my side. I hide my bow and slide under the fence but don't start towards home. Instead, I travel towards the Seam, towards his home to give him a piece of my mind. I compose a whole speech in my head about accountability and my fragility. When I reach his house, I bang on his front door, unable to control how upset I am. His mother answers the door with a concerned look.

"He had to go to the mines." she says sympathetically.

"But it's Sunday." I answer back.

"Didn't make quota…Boss came around knocking this morning to round them up."

"Oh." I say with disappointment.

"He really wanted to make it. I wasn't really sure how to reach you." she apologizes. I nod. Mrs. Hawthorne invites me in and suggests I wait here for him. She doesn't expect his shift to be a full day. Posy is by herself on the living room floor playing with rag dolls. I join her, thinking it might help the time pass. She is excited to have me join in and fill me in on what exactly is happening.

When she tires with playing dolls, we read stories until lunch. Hazelle pauses our activity and invites us to the table, although Posy is unhappy about having to take a break. When I finally convince her that I'm not going anywhere, she is more than willing to join us. She then starts interviewing me with a long list of questions, some about me, some about Gale and I. I can't help but blush as I carefully answer the questions, keeping in mind that she's only 6. Hazelle seems amused and takes to just watching us interact. I'm sure Posy enjoys our girl talk, having no sisters of her own.

Hazelle allows me a break after lunch after asking me to pick up something at the Hob. I gladly take the offer. Posy throws a fit but quickly gives up after I tell her I'll bring her back something special. I make my way back to my old stomping ground. It feels a little strange being here on my own. It's very rare that I go here myself…Gale is usually with me. I walk inside and almost immediate draw attention. I start to feel unwelcomed here as I hear the hushed whispers and take in the stares. I make my way to someone who won't care, no matter what. I let out a sigh as I take a seat on a stool in front of the counter of Sae's space.

"How it goes?" she asks me with a big grin.

"I wish everyone would stop staring." I admit.

"Not everyday we get a celebrity." she replies. I roll my eyes. I don't like that word. "So what are ya here for?"

"Getting some soup for Gale for when he gets home."

"Workin' on a Sunday." she says shaking her head.

"They didn't make quota. Thought it might cheer him up to have some of your soup." I say with a smile.

"I'm sure he'd be happy with just you being there." she tells me, causing me to blush. "He's been coming here a lot looking awfully down. Doesn't say why but I had a good idea about what the matter was." she says giving me a meaningful look.

"He worries too much."

"He cares 'bout you a lot." she says as she pack up a large carton of soup. I know what she's hinting at.

"He's a great friend." I reply as I set the money on the counter. She gives me a smirk, not believing my words for a second.

"Don't be a stranger."

"I won't." I tell her before making my exit. I purchase the things Hazelle needs and pick up a few sweets for Posy and her brothers in town.

When I return back to the Hawthorne house, I'm surprised to find Gale still absent. I am welcomed by a very excited Posy who thanks me a million times for the candy. I'm not sure if she's ever had it in her life. Seam families can't afford this luxury. It makes me smile thinking about how I've brightened her day. An hour after that, the door swings open and the person I've been waiting for has finally arrived. He's covered in coal dust from head to toe and he wears a heavy expression on his face. He looks exhausted. He sets his boots and hard hat on the floor in the corner by the door. He looks alarmed when his eyes connect with mine, probably expecting me to go off on him. He quickly grabs the bag waiting at the door and disappears outside.

"Where's he going?" I ask his mother.

"Needs to wash up outside." she tells me. I patiently wait for him. 20 minutes later he returns, clean, with a fresh set of clothes. I couldn't imagine having to complete that process day after day. I walk up to him and give him a big hug, happy that he's survived another day in the mines. He reciprocates, wrapping his arms around me and sighing.

"I'm sorry." he apologizes.

"Don't be."

"How long did you wait?" he asks.

"About an hour."

"Come on." he says taking me hand.

"What?" I ask confused.

"We better get started."

"Gale, you're tired."

"No, I'm fine." he tries to reassure me. I'm not buying it.

"We'll go another time. You need your rest." I say leading him towards his room. He looks intrigued as he follows me and I hope he doesn't think something will actually happen.

We enter the room he shares with his brothers and walk to his bed. He lies down and I sit on the edge looking down at him. He isn't satisfied with this.

"I'm not going to try anything if that's what you're worried about." he tells me. "I just want to talk."

"Then I can stay right here." I reply.

"Catnip." he whispers, coaxing me into getting his way.

"I have a boyfriend."

"I'm well-aware."

"Gale, we shouldn't be doing this." I confess, sliding on the bed into a kneeling position.

"What, we're not allowed to talk?"

"That's not all you want." I retort.

"Ok. Fine." he admits a sigh. "Maybe I want more than just talking." He takes my hand. "I like having you next to me." he admits.

"Why?" I ask.

"It makes me feel like I haven't completely lost you to him."

"Why do you hate him so much?"

"Come on Katniss, he's from the worst District…basically just an extension of the Capitol."

"He can't help where he came from." I say defending him. "There are good and bad people from every District, Gale."

"Catnip, if he ever hurt you…" he says in a worried tone.

"He wouldn't." I cut him off. I look in his eyes and see another side to this. I'm starting to think that Gale is hiding something for me. I don't think he believes that Merrick would cause harm. I think it's something completely different.

"What is it really?" I ask. It's quiet as he hesitates to tell me.

"What if he takes you away from here?" he mutters. The idea seems preposterous.

"Gale, this is my home." I tell him, squeezing his hand. "I'd never leave here."

"What if he left? You wouldn't follow him?"

"I'm not even sure I could do that. It's not exactly in the rules."

"What if you could with him? Would you?" he pries. I sit in silence, not giving him an answer. I'm not sure what I would do if he asked me to go with him. My silence is unsettling to Gale, and I can see the hurt in his eyes. He quickly turns way from me, choosing to stare at the wall instead.

"I'm going to get some rest." he croaks.

"Gale." I whisper.

"Just go, Katniss." he sighs.

I stand up in front of his bed, knowing I've worn out my welcome. I quietly make my way out of the Hawthorne house and make my way towards town thinking about Gale and I. Why did he ever have to tell me about his feeling for me? Things have changed so much since then. Everything seems a blur as I think of ways to make it better; to make us go back to how it was. My body seems to be on auto-pilot taking me to a place I always go to in times of need. I am broken from my thoughts when I realize I'm on the porch of Peeta Mellark's house in Victor's Village. Tears spill from me when I think about how he's not here. He hasn't been here for a long time. I walk to the steps and take a seat, crying into my knees.

"Peeta." I gasp between breaths. I want him here to tell me it's going to be alright. When my body fatigues from crying, I am left numb. I know there's only one person left in this world to make me feel better so I go to him. I sneak in the back way through the woods that skim the back yards of Peacekeeper's Village until I reach the largest house. I've taken this route many times before when making deliveries to Cray. I grab a few small pebbles from the forest floor and walk out into the open area. I begin throwing them at the upstairs windows unsure about which one belongs to him. I can only hope he'll answer. A few minutes later, he appears from the back door, rushing towards me. He doesn't say a word, only grabs my arm and leads me back to the cover of the forest.

"Are you out of your mind!" he exclaims, with a serious expression.

"I didn't know how else…" I trail off.

"What if my father got to you first." he shouts back.

"I don't know." I reply in a mumble.

"He'd charge you…you know that. Trespassing and maybe vandalizing with the rock throwing." I didn't think about that.

"I'm sorry." I say, my cheeks on fire from embarrassment. I turn to walk away but he doesn't let me get that far.

"Katniss, what wrong?" he asks, enveloping me in his arms.

"Everything." I whisper.

"Everything?" he questions me. I know he wants specifics.

"I don't want to talk about it." I tell him. He doesn't pry for information. He knows better than to do that with me.

"Come on, I'll walk you home." he says, releasing me before taking my hand. We walk in silence as we make our way to Victor's Village. We take the back way like we always do to avoid being seen. I'm still not sure if I'm allowed to be with someone else, even with Peeta gone. We reach the gate to my back yard. Just before I open the gate, he pulls me back behind the tall wooden fence. I stubbornly yank on his arm but he doesn't budge. I give him a little glare to express my disproval.

"I can't." he murmurs.

"Just for a little." I beg.

"I have to get back."

"Why?" I press. He hesitates. "You don't need to protect me or anything. Whatever it is, I can handle it."

"Snow's here. He's having dinner at my house tonight." He must see the fear flash in my eyes. It's hard to hide the emotions I feel about that man after everything he's done to me.

"Why is he here?" I ask him. My heart is beating so wildly I fear it might burst out of my chest.

"No idea." he says shrugging his shoulders. I can only start to think it's because of me. My whole body is shaking. He braces my shoulder to try to control my body. The tears have started.

"It's not you." he says as if he's reading my mind. "I'm sure he just came to check in on my father."

"Merrick, he never leaves the Capitol." I try to explain in a panic. He holds me tightly, perhaps to relax my body.

"Everything will be ok." he murmurs before he kisses my forehead.

"You don't know that." I whisper into his neck.

"I won't let him hurt you." he says pressing his forehead against mine. It sounds absurd that Merrick would actually try to do something if it came down to that. I wouldn't want him to. He'd only destroy himself in the process.

"No." I retort.

"You think I wouldn't or you don't think I could?" he asks perplexed.

"I wouldn't want you to. You'd ruin yourself."

"I'd be ruined without you." he says back. His lips then connect with mine as he expresses his passion and affection for me. I kiss him back and can feel the fire inside me grow, bringing me back to life. He tries to end the kiss prematurely but I don't let him get too far. In an instant, my lips are back on his and my fingers are weaving through the hair on the back of his head to keep him close.

"Katniss." he gasps as he breaks away, coming up for air.

"Just a little bit longer?" I coo softly. He obliges, extending the kiss for a few more minutes.

"I really have to go now." he says.

"Ok." I concede.

"I'll stop by later tonight." he tells me. I nod my head in reply. "I love you, Katniss Everdeen." he says sweetly before kissing my cheek and running down the path back to his house. I place my hand up to my cheek and smile as I open the gate. My smile instantly fades as I see four Peacekeepers on my back porch. My eyes go wide when I think that their presence means something very not good. Two of them rush toward me, in fear that I might flee. One opens the back door while the other pushes me forward before closing the door behind me. I quietly make my way down the hall. I locate my mother and sister in the living room sitting silently while drinking tea with two men who look very official.

"What's going on?" I ask as I rush towards my mother.

"Katniss, that's no way to act in front of guests." she says.

"Guests?" I scoff as her choice of words.

"Miss Everdeen, we've been waiting for you."

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting." I tell them with a dead stare and a sarcastic tone. I refuse to be truly cordial to these men. Both men stand up in unison and lead me to the study door. Even through the barrier I can still smell that pungent combination of roses and blood. I turn the knob on the door and swing it open to reveal Snow sitting behind the desk in my study.

"Ms. Everdeen." he says with a sinister smile.

"Why are you here?" I demand as I quickly approach him. I feel two sets of arms stop me just as I reach the edge of the desk as if I was about to attack Snow. He just laughs at me.

"Wanted to make sure everything was ok here." he tells me. It's a very broad answer but I'm pretty sure he's not talk about me and my well-being.

"Why wouldn't it be ok?"

"Things have been happening around some of the districts since the Quell ended. People have been acting out of order in response to the deaths of their Victors. Some of the remaining Victors in those districts have organized demonstrations and protests. I had to make sure you and Haymitch weren't causing any trouble knowing how the two of you are."

"No…none of that here."

"Good. It will be very important how you carry yourself on the Victory Tour Miss Everdeen. One wrong move and I can promise you that you will live to regret it." he threatens me. I nod my head in reply. He then stands up and walks past me, exiting the room. I sit there in silence. I had forgotten about the Victory Tour. After what happened last time, I don't want to do that again. A man died because of me. To make matters worse, I'll be alone this time without Peeta by my side to help me along the way.

The door clicks open and I turn around to find my mother there, making sure I am in one piece. We eat dinner together and I curl up on the couch with Prim beside me as we watch a movie. I am thankful that I still have her.

"Katniss." she says in a barely audible voice.

"Yes?" I ask looking over to her.

"I miss Peeta." she says with tears in her eyes. The waterworks start and I hug my sister to comfort him.

"I miss him too, Prim." I tell her as I smooth her golden hair with my fingers. "He wouldn't want you to cry over him. You know that." I tell her. I feel a little hypocritical saying this. After all, I was doing the same thing hours before.

"I know, but I can't help it."

"Ok." She continues to cry until exhaustion reaches her. I guide her up to her room and then help her into bed before returning downstairs to wait for Merrick. I wait for many hours for him. It isn't until almost midnight that I hear a tapping on my back door. I quietly open the door and it is indeed Merrick. He doesn't look his normal self. His hair is quite wild and his eyes are red. Something is not right. I lead him inside and close the door behind us. When I turn back to him, he presses me against the wall and kisses me passionately as his hands explore my body. While a part of me wants to enjoy this, I know I can't until I know what's warranting these actions. I place my hands on his chest and gently push him away from me.

"Merrick." I whisper. He whispers my name before planting kisses on my neck. Desire takes over briefly but I stifle it quickly by separating ourselves. "Merrick, tell me what's wrong."

His lip quivers and the tears flow again. He pulls me closer to him and buries his head into my shoulder. I'm worried now. Whatever it is, it's bad. I start to worry about the possibilities. Does Snow know about us? Did he mention something to him at dinner? I need answers. I suggest we go to the living room and he accommodates my request by leading me there. I sit beside him on the couch, waiting nervously for whatever it is he has to tell me.

"I'll be 18 in a few weeks." he tells me. I know that not the reason he's crying so I wait for him to continue. "I'll have to leave here." he chokes out. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks.

"But your family is here!"

"That doesn't matter. I'll be an adult. I'll need to report to training in whatever field I ultimately choose." he explains in monotone. I almost forgot about that. The same thing happens here. As soon as you are 18 and are finished school, you enter the mines.

"I don't want you to go." I gasp as the tears start to fall. He pulls me closer and I bury my face into his chest. "Merrick, I need you."

"I need you too." he murmurs. I take a few calming breath before I look up into his eyes.

"What are you going to choose?" I ask him.

"I don't know, Katniss." he says with a sigh.

"Not Peacekeeper. Please not that."

"You know I'd never. Maybe I'll take a job in the mines." he ponders.

"No!" I exclaim. If the stone mines are anything like the ones here, I want him far away from them.

"There aren't many other options." he huffs.

"What about the academy there. You mentioned that before."

"It's very competitive Katniss."

"You were first in your school. You told me that. Surely that has to count for something." I say in desperation.

"You'd be ok with that? Me breeding future tributes…tributes that would ultimately be fighting and slaughtering your tributes in the Arena?" he questions me.

"No, but at least it would keep you safe." I reason. It's not the best option but in all honestly, none of the options are good. I let out a yawn. It's late and it's been an emotional day.

"Tired?" he asks. I nod. "Well come on, then." he says with a soft smile as he takes my hand.

"You're staying?" I ask confused. It's been a very long time since we've spent the night together.

"You sound so surprised." he says as we walk to the foyer.

"You never stay."

"Because Gale always shows up to take over. Where is Gale by the way?"

"He's not coming tonight."

"Why not?" he probes.

"Just isn't." I reply, hoping he doesn't delve any deeper.

"Funny. He never misses his post."

"He had to work today." I explain.

"Never stopped him before." he says with an arched brow. My eyes widen as I find the meaning behind those words. "Come on, Katniss, you think I really didn't know."

"How did you know?" I ask him.

"It's clear as day that he cares about you."

"He knows I don't feel that way about him." I tell him back. "He knows I love you."

"Doesn't change how he feels about you."

"You always let him stay knowing that? You could have said something."

"Having him here…it seemed to be helping you. That's the only thing I cared about at the time." I remain quiet as we enter my room. I lock the door behind us before climbing into bed with Merrick. I cuddle up beside him and he holds onto me. Minutes pass and neither of us speak. I break the silence when a thought comes to mind.

"Merrick, where do your parents think you go when you aren't at home?" I murmur.

"Hanging out with friends, I guess. They never really ask me about it." he comments.

"What would they say if they knew you were spending time with me?"

"That doesn't matter. They don't know about us."

"But what would they say?" I press. He's silently for a few moments and he lets out a long exhale.

"They wouldn't approve." he says. "You know how my father feels about you." I do know how he feels about me. I'm sure his father is just waiting for me to mess up so he can make an example out of me, just like he did Gale.

"What if they told you not to see me again?"

"I wouldn't listen to them." he admits. "Why all the hypotheticals tonight?"

"Curious." I simply tell him.

"Well then, I have one question for you. What happens after I leave?" My heart aches after I hear that last question. I don't want to think about it. I don't respond because I don't know how to respond. He continues. "There's a very good chance I'll never see you again." My body flinches as he says those words. Never is a really long time.

"You won't visit your parents?" I ask.

"That not how it words, Katniss. I'll be an adult. My purpose will be to serve the Capitol. That's how it works in District 2. We're not a family-centric District. It's more about serving for the greater good."

"Which is?" I ask.

"To make sure the Capitol has everything it needs to thrive. To make sure District 2 keeps it's good name. It's not a coincidence District 2 has the most Victors. It's what our District thrives on."

"And you believe all that?" I ask. He scoffs at my last statement.

"I'm not like them, Katniss. I swear." he whispers. He then changes the subject. "You know you could do a lot worse than Gale Hawthorne." I lift my head from its resting place to look at his face, my brows furrowed.

"What are you saying?"

"He's a good man…despite his stubbornness sometimes. He could take care of you."

"No, I don't want that from him."

"Just don't rule him out. Not yet anyway." His words anger me. He doesn't actually expect me to end up with Gale, does he? I lie back down on my side, facing away from him. He wraps his arm around my waist, closing the distance between us.

"I don't want you waiting for me." he says in a serious tone. I turn to face him and see the pain in eyes. "You'll have to move on whether I like it or not."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." I say with a frown. This wasn't how I anticipated us spending this night together.

"Ok." he says giving me a brief kiss on the lips before closing his eyes. I follow suit and hope that tomorrow will be a little brighter than today.

Reviews would really make me happy. Let me know what you thought of this chapter and what you think should come next in this story!

Team Gale or Team Merrick?