Twelve Red Lines

by Vikingr

I expected to die when I went into the water. Instead, I was rescued by a crew of people who I knew only as characters in a story. But what does it take to become worthy of being a Straw Hat? And why are so many little details not matching up to what I know?

9. Interlude

Interlude: a short play or other brief dramatic entertainment performed between acts of a longer play, or between courses at a banquet

gamelover41592: Thank you. ^_^ And indeed, nothing beats Luffy Logic.

The Patient One: Honestly, I have no room in reality to bust anyone's chops about forgetting pertinent details, so Jones will have to deal. I mean... Once upon a time, I looked in the fridge while setting the table and couldn't find the ketchup. Now, the fridge was a little full, so I moved some things around to see if the ketchup was hiding behind any of them— including the ketchup. I couldn't find any ketchup. With the bottle of ketchup still in my hand, I turned and asked my mother with all seriousness if we were out of ketchup. So no, Jones has no room whatsoever to get on Vivi's case. And long chapters, eh? To be honest, you kind of have yourself and the other members of the Cross Brain to thank for that. Around the time I started working on this story, there was an A/N on This Bites! talking about how 10,000 words may have been a short chapter for you guys, but was still a lot longer than almost everyone else posts. So I made a personal rule that no chapter of this fic is allowed to be less than 10,000 words out of... A sort of desire to prove that A/N wrong, I guess? Even though at the time I didn't expect anyone to ever read this. Not that it's been a hard rule to enforce; I think there's only been one chapter so far where I was in danger of not making my word count for a while. And no, these replies never count towards the word count— that would be cheating. As for the rest of it... Thank you very much. ^_^

Gerbilfriend: Yes it was, but I don't blame you for being confused. Jones never mentioned her dream to the crew before, and only talked about it in her narration as a brief, offhand thing at the beginning of chapter four. And thank you— I'm glad people think Ruatha is cute.

Dragondancer81: Thank you. ^_^

Lightsbane1905: Luffy Logic is surprisingly easy to write. I play Dungeons and Dragons a lot, and I've been in lots of groups where there was at least one player who got by on luck and Luffy Logic. Hell, sometimes I've been that player.

The Keeper of Worlds: Thank you! As for whether I'm taking ideas on crew recruits and such... I'm afraid I already have a lot of this planned out well in advance, but if there's a specific character people want to see and someone makes a compelling argument as to why they would make a good Straw Hat, I might consider tweaking things a little— unless it's someone I already have other major plans for.

King-Dorado: Mm... That might work, in theory, once Jones has a better hold on her powers.

Smile4the-World: Since I couldn't find a canon age for Ghin, I arbitrarily decided he's twenty-seven in this fic. And I will not confirm or deny the presence of romance as the fic goes on— that'll depend on character development, but as a general rule, I have difficulty with the subject. Expect any relationships that do develop to be... unconventional. That said, Jones and Ghin are probably not ever getting together in that way. They see each other as siblings and the ship tease, while intentional, is mostly for the purpose of my awkward sense of humour. And you're welcome; I always wished we should see more of Ghin, Johnny, and Yosaku too. *sees all caps emphasis on super and is compelled to strike Franky's pose* Thank you very much!

Xipholynx: As always, thank you very much! Now, about Ruatha... I'm sorry, but I must remind you that he's male— you kept calling him "she." And despite Millennial dragons living so long, I'm keeping them closer to the HP end of the spectrum as far as growth rate. After all, it's implied at the end of the Warship Island arc that they don't stay around that nest very long, so I assume the reborn hatchlings must be able to fly and keep up with the adults fairly quickly.

Antiguo: More is real than most people might be comfortable with, I suppose. *shrugs* But the trolls from Jones' dream... They've never targeted me. Those comments were based on things people have said to a couple of my friends who've been writing fanfiction for longer than I have. Thank you very much, and you have a nice weekend as well.

DragonBookAddict: Yeah, I was pretty sure I was good. I thought it was fifty years after the death of the writer, and I'm pretty sure anyone writing music in 1886 probably died before 1967, so... *shrugs* And yes, random trivia is a wonderful weapon. Thank you very much. ^_^

Guest: Thank you! And yes, you're over-thinking things a little. But that's good; it means I'm doing my job properly. *cackles*

AnerianJames: *stares* No, no, I don't think so. Thank you for the wonderful sentiment, but I don't think I could ever get up to that level. *bows*

Something boneless and heavy was hugging me from behind- a giant squid? Luffy? I couldn't turn my head to check. But something told me I wasn't in danger. That was unusual; being grabbed and immobilized like this almost always meant I was in trouble. Maybe someone had drugged me to keep me from acting out against my captor? That seemed the most likely answer, but who would do that? I started to thrash on principle; even if I wasn't in danger, I didn't want to be held! Tabarnak! Whoever was doing this was gonna pay…

X

I was awakened by the cold on our first morning out from the Twin Capes Lighthouse. Damp, heavy coolness weighed my limbs down, pinning them to the deck. Snow- and not just any snow; good packing snow, perfect for snowballs. It took me a moment to register that I was breathing, despite how thick the blanket of white covering my body was. When I opened my eyes, I saw the blurry form of Sanji crouching over my, shovelling snow away from my head. I sat up, stifling a cough. My cold had yet to clear up.

The cook stepped back with a huff of relief. "You alright Jones? When I came out and saw all that snow everywhere… Why don't you just sleep in the girls' cabin with Nami? Are you still that uncomfortable with people?"

"Not really, now… But Ruatha keeps me up all night, and I won't subject Nami to that. Also…" I glared at Sanji as I dug through the snow for my glasses. "What have I said about asking if I'm alright?"

"Jones… You're freezing and you were covered in snow. Asking is a formality. Now, you and that shitty dragon get your asses into the galley; I'll make something to warm you up."

My hands were bright red as I dug Ruatha out of the snow, my skin dry and cracking. The dragonet shivered as I picked him up. I flicked his nose. "You didn't have to stay out here with me if you were cold. You could've gone and slept on the gun deck." I couldn't lie there comfortably- not enough floor space- but he could.

Other members of the crew rushed around me as I went to the galley; I'd slept late. Probably the cold. I can't wake up properly if I'm not warm enough, unless my body temperature gets low enough that I might be in danger. Then I'm up pretty quick for a while before passing out again. Anyway, Zoro was furling the mainsail, shouting instructions at Ghin and Usopp, who had the mizzen. Johnny and Yosaku were sweeping and shovelling at the snow, but their frantic efforts weren't enough to keep it from accumulating all over the deck. Nami's eyes were glued to the log pose as she relayed directions to Luffy, who was at the whipstaff. All in all, it was surprisingly efficient for a Straw Hat operation.

"What did I miss?" I asked as Sanji threw a thick, fluffy towel over my shoulders. The cook snorted.

"Not much. The snow's been falling since Johnny's watch, but the shitheads only started working a few minutes ago." He handed me a mug of steaming hot chocolate with marshmallows and peppermint. I downed it as quickly as I could, wincing as I burnt my tongue.

"Thanks! Ruatha, stay- Mommy's gonna go back out in the snow, and she doesn't want you getting cold."

My dragonet chirped in protest and hopped onto my shoulder as I headed back outside. Sanji shook his head. "Jones… Didn't you buy a coat in Loguetown? At least put that on so you don't get a chill like all the shitheads in the rigging."

"I did. It's in the cargo hold." I patted Ruatha with one hand, waving the other dismissively. "Don't worry Sanji. I'm Canadian; a few minutes of this isn't gonna kill me."

The cook snorted as I made my way out of the galley. "You know I don't know what that means."

"Yep. Doesn't make it any less true though."

Despite Johnny and Yosaku's frantic efforts, the deck was covered in snow up to my knees. I bounced through rather than wading, using a time-tested raise-and-flick gait that kept snow from getting into my sneakers. Or at least, that was how I moved until I thought of using this as a training opportunity. I still had a little bit of a charge from sparring with Ghin the night before; I released it all through my feet as I landed in the middle of the deck.

A wave of snow blasted away from me in every direction. Yes- success! This was the first time that I'd used my powers and experienced no noticeable recoil. My technique wasn't as amusing to everyone else. Johnny and Yosaku pouted at me, pausing with filled shovels raised.

"No fair Big Sis!"

"Yeah! If you can do it that quickly, do the whole ship!"

"Sorry, can't. Only have enough juice for one more. But I'll grab a shovel after." Not that I would mind if it stayed; I love the snow. But I guess the icy slickness it was depositing onto the deck wasn't pleasant for people trying to run around and get things done. I jumped into a big drift and stomped, releasing all the force I had left. There was some recoil this time, sending me staggering back. But it was still an improvement over flying into the water.

Torrents of snow flew out in every direction, making me feel like Elsa. Frigid waves splashed up as the white fluff crashed down into the sea. Well, except for the bits that hit Zoro, Ghin, and Usopp in the face. The bosun sputtered and glared at me as melting snow slid off of him. Ghin did nothing, too stunned to move. Usopp gathered up his snow before it could fall, packing it into a ball and flinging it back at my head. I reached up and caught it, frigid white exploding between my fingers as the ball was crushed on impact. Oh, the sniper had no idea what he was getting into…

"Really Usopp? Challenging a Canadian to a snowball fight? Really?"

The sniper stuck his tongue out at me from his place on the mizzen mast. "Like you can get me up here! You can't shoot with a gun or a cannon- why would a snowball be any different?"

"Let's find out…" I grabbed a handful of snow and molded it into a ball, lobbing it at Usopp's face. As soon as it left my hand I was bending down for another, slipping into a fighting stance as I tossed snowball after snowball at the gunner. Out of probably a dozen or so, five found their mark. One had an ice chunk in it, which hit hard enough that it knocked Usopp off the spar of the mizzenmast and sent him crashing to the deck. Of the stray balls, two hit Zoro, three got Ghin, one somehow bounced off the yardarm to crash down on Nami, and the last went over the rails and into the sea with a splash. Usopp groaned. Luffy whistled in admiration.

"That was awesome Jones!"

"Thanks, but it's really not. Almost anyone can do that where I'm from- snowball fights are practically a way of life in Canada. You think that's good, you should see what I can do on ice- beating each other up while skating is our national sport." Well, there was more to it than that, but that was about as much hockey as I expected Luffy to understand.

"Um… Big Sis?" Johnny's voice was hesitant beside me. I looked over.

"What?"

Pain! The back of my head exploded. I kicked myself for not noticing Nami coming up to hit me. "Ow! What was that for?" I spun to face the navigator, only to find that no one was there. Looking around, I spotted Nami still up on the poop deck with her charts. Although she was glaring like she intended to murder me in my sleep.

"Alright, who was that?" No one admitted to the assault. I could hear the snow stop falling in the ensuing silence. It was replaced by loud tapping as hailstones the size of golf balls rained down from the sky. Oh. That must've been what hit me.

"Take cover!" Johnny and Yosaku dove for the shelter of the galley. Zoro and Ghin rolled their eyes, sliding down to the deck. Ghin helped Usopp to his feet on the way; the former Krieg pirate looked up at Nami.

"Alright, what next?"

"Now you need to unfurl the sails again! The wind's switching around!"

Groaning, the men scrambled back up the masts. Hemp and canvas snapped taught, the sails filling quickly as a great gust of wind roared up. Hopefully the hail wouldn't tear them or anything. The deck groaned beneath us, Merry protesting the change of weather. I patted her rails as I raced to secure the tangerine saplings and get a tarp over them.

Nami tugged at her hair. "Argh! This current's pulling us around. Jones! Drop anchor!"

"What?" I ran to do as I was told, not sure what good it would do. The Going Merry swung around the anchor chain in a broad arc, gathering momentum and creating a vast circular wake.

"Now pull it up! Quick!"

Seriously? "Get Zoro if you need something that heavy lifted quickly!"

"I'm busy!" The bosun hollered down. He had a line gripped in his teeth; something had snapped and he was trying to splice it back together.

"Okay… This isn't gonna work." I pushed on the capstan with all my might. But the device was meant for four people, not one. Zoro could haul it around quickly, but I certainly couldn't. My muscles turned to jelly, and the capstan barely turned at a snail's pace.

"Faster Jones! Or we'll be stuck going in circles!"

"I can't! It's too heavy!" Caravel anchors typically weighed about eight hundred pounds-more than twice what I could lift. Even with mechanics on my side, things weren't gonna move quickly. Nami shrieked.

"Johnny, Yosaku, get your butts back out here to help Jones! I don't care if the hail beats you black and blue; we need the anchor back up before we swing back into that current!"

"Aye-aye Big Sis!" The bounty hunters ran out of the galley, wincing as they were hit by hailstones. With three people, the raising of the anchor went much faster. We were able to get it up before hitting whatever current Nami was trying to keep us out of. Barely.

The hail was letting up, replaced by pouring rain. Water mixed with ice and snow to create patches of thick, slippery slush. Mm, spring weather. I collapsed onto the deck as soon as the anchor was up, rolling onto my side so I didn't drown in the growing puddles. Beside me, Johnny and Yosaku leaned on each other and groaned.

"Is it always gonna be like this?" Johnny wanted to know. Everyone looked at me expectantly.

"Not through Paradise, no." I couldn't move my anything; even talking hurt. "There's a lot of weird conflicting weather here because of the splitting magnetic fields, the Red Line, and the currents around Reverse Mountain. Things'll be better for a while- still pretty weird though. And once we reach the New World… Yeah, weather there's crazy and I have no idea how to warn you."

Yosaku blinked in my direction, looking like he was about to faint. "Paradise? New World?"

"Different parts of the Grand Line. We're in Paradise now; after crossing the Red Line again at the Sabaody Archipelago, we'll be in the New World. It's called that cause it's not as well recorded by official exploration documents."

Nami huffed and glanced at the log pose. Then she shrieked. "Everyone up! We need to turn a hundred and eighty degrees!"

Zoro scowled. "What? I thought we were dead on course after that anchor stunt."

"I thought so too, but there must've been a secondary current that spun us around!"

It took everything I had to stand up again, slipping and sliding through the rain. I staggered from side to side, coughing into my sleeve as I made my way to the lines for the mainsail. The ropes supported me even as I got to work changing the rigging to meet the needs of our new course. Water poured off the edges of my hat, drenching my clothes- and Ruatha. But as uncomfortable as he was in the cold and wet, the dragonet wouldn't leave my shoulder. That didn't make my work any easier.

X

Once the weather had settled down, I headed down into the cargo hold to check on Vivi and Mr Nine. The princess and her partner were no longer gagged- Sanji had ordered their removal, between the fact that Vivi was a lady and the gags making it hard to feed the prisoners. I wondered if it secretly had anything to do with his time in an iron mask, but I didn't ask. Didn't feel like bringing up the cook's bad memories.

"What're you doing here?" Vivi's voice was sullen and resigned. But at least she wasn't as annoying as Mr Nine. I closed my eyes after Vivi's question, mentally counting back from three. And right on cue…

"I demand you release us at once! I'm a prince, I tell you- can't you see my crown? You pirates are in big trouble for holding me like this! When I tell my father about this… You'll pay, you hear?!"

"Oh, shut up." I placed Ruatha on the floor. The dragonet hissed at Mr Nine, which was very effective at making the wannabe royal follow my instructions. I'd discovered that last night- the Baroque Works agent had a mortal fear of dragons, even ones that were only the size of a large cat.

"I'm just here to check on you, make sure you're not getting tossed around or anything. We're going through some pretty bad weather right now." I didn't necessarily like being so cold with Vivi- I was mostly over the strangling thing by now, even if I was nowhere near ready to trust her for a hug- but it had to be done to maintain her cover. Although Mr Nine had sided with her over the company in canon… No. I would leave telling him up to Vivi or fate. If he knew early, without seeing her in danger, things might not go as well. Not that he was much of a threat, but still…

"What are you planning to do to us?" Mr Nine squeaked, edging away from Ruatha as much as his bonds would allow. Vivi remained silent; she was still trying to figure out my future knowledge and what it meant for Alabasta.

"Sorry, spoilers. Anyone need to use the head while I'm here? Not sure when the next time someone'll come down is- we might be busy again."

Mr Nine shook his head. He preferred to be escorted by one of the men for that function, for understandable reasons. To my surprise though, Vivi nodded. Usually she went with Nami; the princess was less uncomfortable and standoffish with the navigator than with me. I really needed to stop getting off on the wrong foot with female crew mates- or honorary crew mates in this case. Otherwise I might do something to make Robin try to kill me. And since she was an assassin by trade right now… Yeah.

I undid Vivi's bindings and pulled her towards the head- roughly while in Mr Nine's line of sight, then more gently once he could no longer see us. Once we were in the head I released her and turned towards the door- keeping her from attacking or escaping was one thing, I could at least leave her with some dignity. Only, instead of getting down to business, Vivi grabbed my wrist. I turned on reflex, rotating my arm up and free as I prepared for an attack. It didn't come. The princess took a step back, staring at me.

"I didn't really need to use the head."

"Okay…" I automatically shifted into a ready stance- not aggressive, but prepared. "Then why-?"

"Because I finally figured you out." Vivi's voice was softer- her real self, or princess persona, or whatever. "The others… When they come to bring us food or let us use the head, they call you a witch or a karate-ka… Although the captain and the boy with the long nose were arguing over whether you were a ninja or not once. But what you really are… You're an intelligence officer, aren't you? A spy. Although I still haven't figured out how you know what you do…"

Vivi's analysis made me start. Not because it was wrong- but because I realized that it was correct. I never would've called myself a spy- it came far too close to ninja and why I refused that title- but with how much I knew, that's effectively what I was. A highly-specialized spy. Still… I shook my head. Witch fit me much better.

"No. I know what I do through a method that may as well be magic, I have a dragon, and I'm prone to solving problems through chemistry, violence, and explosions. Far too memorable to be a good spy. I'm definitely a witch."

"Oh…" Vivi slumped. I felt sorry for her; being proven wrong out of nowhere just when you were starting to think you had answers couldn't be easy.

"Was that all, your highness?"

"No." Regaining her composure, Vivi looked me in the eye. This was uncomfortable; I looked away after a second, focusing off to the side instead- something I'm sure the princess noticed. "You… Yesterday you said you needed to save my kingdom from Crocodile. Does that mean I can rely on this crew as allies, despite the current unpleasantness?"

"Hai." I nodded sharply along with my reply. Vivi's continued look of confusion prompted me to elaborate- apparently, whatever languages and politics her life as a princess had prepared her for, Japanese martial arts weren't among them.

"Yeah, you can rely on us. Trying to strangle me wasn't smart, but at least you went for me- someone who knows less than I do might do more than take offense at things like that."

"Can I expect an apology for being knocked out with a toilet seat then?"

"Afraid not. I'm polite, not selfless. Ally or not, you did attack me first; my reaction was fully justified."

Vivi sighed, standing a little straighter. The overall impression she gave off was of a small business owner conducting an informal interview. "I suppose that's fair."

Nodding, I leaned back on the sink. "So… Was there anything else?" This was… Odd. From the awkward way things had been set up, it seemed like my writer meant Vivi and I to be more at odds than this. The princess was just so damn polite though. It was impossible to stay angry at her. As for why she was becoming less angry at me… She probably appreciated the difficulties I was putting her through due to her years as a spy. Or at least, was justifying it to herself that way.

"Does the no spoilers rule- whatever that means- extend to me as well, or is it just for Mr Nine?"

"It's a crew rule, actually. I'm not supposed to tell anyone what's coming up unless Luffy says so, and I'm not supposed to go into detail about backstory without someone's permission. Although apparently that doesn't extend to telling everyone where to go when Luffy can't make up his mind, or saying things after the fact if I change what would've happened." There was something stuck under my fingernails- probably tar from the lines. I pulled out my Swiss Army Knife and flipped open a blade to scrape out the residue.

"So… You could tell me?"

"Theoretically, as long as you didn't tell anyone where you'd learned it. The crew would notice though. And then they'd get mad at me, so…" I winced as an overzealous scrape drew blood. Sticking my finger in my mouth lessened the sting.

"What if I didn't tell anyone though? If it was just the two of us, could we do anything worthwhile?" Vivi's face was deceptively innocent. She may not have been as good as me at talking her way out of unexpected trouble, but she was still a secret agent. I kicked myself for not expecting her to at least try to be devious.

Smiling at the princess' question, I pulled my finger out of my mouth. "You're better at this than I thought you'd be, your highness. Oda glossed over your spy career in favour of the part where some pirates showed up to destroy Crocodile's hold on your country." I nodded thoughtfully. "We probably could change something with just two of us- I've done it alone before, and will again. But I don't know what there is coming up that's worth messing with. I'll need some time to think about it."

"Of course. Don't take too long to decide though; we reach Whiskey Peak the day after tomorrow."

That made me frown. I closed my knife and leaned forward to poke Vivi in the forehead. "Don't do that again Princess."

"Do what?" Vivi's eyes went wide and pale; her overall stance and expression shifted to one of a hiker coming face to face with a bobcat.

"Order me around. Let's make one thing clear- I serve the king and I'm damn proud of it, no matter what it may seem like most of the time. But I serve only the king, and my king isn't yours. I take orders from my crew mates because Luffy will be king of the pirates, and the others know what's best as far as getting him there. If you're around long enough, you might see me take orders from others too; that's because I'm afraid of them, or I already agree with what they're saying. Neither situation applies here. Telling you anything without thinking it through carefully could be dangerous."

"I- I'm sorry. With how you were addressing me, I didn't think…"

"No, you didn't. And given that you're one of the actively benevolent nobles, that doesn't speak well for this world's government." I sighed and fidgeted, rubbing my forearms before reaching up to brush the blue and white lion armband on my left bicep. "Vivi… I called you 'your highness' because I was raised to respect royalty. But you can respect a person and not have to take orders from them."

Vivi bowed her head. "I'm sorry. I'll keep that in mind in the future."

"Apology accepted." I pulled back, out of her personal space. It made me more comfortable too. "Now… Do you actually need to use the head, or are we done for now?"

"No, this is all. Please though… If you think of anything, will you let me know? I- I want to save my kingdom, no matter what I have to do." Vivi held out her hands for me to apply fresh bindings.

"Which is why I respect you, and the biggest reason I can't stay mad about the strangling thing." I wrapped the tape a little looser this time, so Vivi could move a bit. "But you don't need me- Luffy and the others would've saved Alabasta regardless. So don't worry."

"Not worrying is hard. You will tell me if there's anything I can do, won't you? Even if things will work out, anything I can do to make it go faster or better…"

"If there's anything I think you should do, I promise I'll let you know."

A shriek sounded from the hold, followed by the chattering squawks that I was learning were Ruatha's version of laughter. I was about to roll my eyes and sigh, but Vivi beat me to it. A small smile crossed her face.

"Let's go rescue Mr Nine before your dragon eats him, can we? He's not bad as Baroque Works agents go- I could've had much worse as a partner."

"Ruatha wouldn't hurt him," I assured the princess as I opened the door. "Millennial dragons don't eat humans."

When we got back to the hold, we found Mr Nine awkwardly scrambling and hopping around in a circle, trying to get away from Ruatha's gleeful jaws. A chunk of fabric dangled from the dragonet's jaws; a ragged hole in the agent's pants showed white boxers with a pattern of smiling fish. I clapped loudly and whistled. "Ruatha! Hold it!"

"Sha?" Scales rustled as my dragon cocked his head to the side. I frowned.

"Come."

The little dragon just stared at me. I sighed and crouched down, holding my hand out in front of me as if to pet him. "Ruatha, come."

"Ra!" Spitting out the scrap of fabric, the dragonet bounded over and shoved his snout into my hand. I grabbed him and picked him up, scratching all around his head.

"Good boy! You're a very good boy." Just like training my cat. Rusty responded to affection as well as food. And since he thought I was his mother, Ruatha was much less stubborn than a fluffy tomcat.

Mr Nine looked up at me with fear and awe. "Mother of d-!"

"Wrong franchise." I cut the Baroque Works agent off as Ruatha climbed into his favourite place on my shoulders. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a sniper to kick the ass of in a snowball fight." The bow I directed at Mr Nine as I exited was as mocking as I could make it; the one I directed Vivi's way was significantly less so. I coughed into my sleeve as I climbed back up to the deck.

X

Slush soaked through everyone's clothes by late afternoon. The snowball fight had gotten a little out of hand, despite the melting of most of the snow. Even Nami had gotten involved- although she was mostly gunning for me. Thanks to the navigator, I had a large glob of snowy slush that wouldn't come out of the back of my shirt, no matter how much I shivered and twitched. As for the winner… Despite my Canadian talent for dealing with snow, Usopp defeated me on the field of battle.

"Unfair," I grumbled as we made our way into the galley for hot chocolate. I glared at the gunner's slingshot as I spoke. He rubbed his nose and beamed.

"Hah! As if you ever truly had a hope of beating me- I'm the greatest sniper on the seas!"

"Who bravely hides on the other side of the ship and uses his slingshot to get everyone in the face before they can get close enough to fight back!"

"Hey! That's what sniper means!"

I didn't argue- Usopp was technically correct. Instead I sat down in my usual spot and pulled out my planning pages, looking through my notes. Whiskey Peak was up next; was there anything worth going out of my way to mess with, or should I just let things move as they would? Something else caught my eye though, distracting me. I frowned. Since everyone thought we were bounty hunters, that shouldn't be an issue, but if he saw our flag before someone thought to hide it…

He did like games. None of my crewmates were good at his favourite, but maybe I could encourage him to learn a new one, one where this crew stood a better chance. It would take a while to set up though… Eh, I had time. Pulling out a lot of blank paper, I got writing. It was hard; I was copying out relevant fragments from over two hundred books by numerous publishers. There was a lot I was missing- at least half of the material, probably more when it came to divine characters, and I wasn't bothering to even try psionics- but I could remember enough. Perks of how much time I'd spent playing. Johnny and Yosaku peeked over my shoulders as I worked.

"Whatcha doing Big Sis?"

"Making a gift for a worthy adversary." If I could get it done in the next week or so, I could mail it from Drum Kingdom, or maybe Alabasta. But there was a lot of ground to cover… I shouldn't bet on being able to send it that early. As long as I got it off by Mock Town, things should be good. Give him enough time to read it, at least.

"Huh?" The hunters cocked their heads in opposite directions. "Worthy… adversary? Please don't say you're gonna be pen pals with one of the Warlords or anything…"

"Not a bad idea, but no." Although I filed that away for later. Building a friendship with Hancock might be beneficial, and being female I wouldn't be an immediate target for rage or scorn- probably. "No, none of them appreciate games."

"Games?" Yosaku asked. "That's a game? There's a lot of numbers…"

"Doesn't mean it's any less fun." I shook my head. "Math's nothing to be afraid of- except statistics; those suck."

"Statistics?"

"Gambling. Odds. The chance that a given thing will or will not happen. As far as I'm concerned, the odds of anything are fifty-fifty; either it happens or it doesn't."

Johnny and Yosaku didn't look like they got it, but on the other side of the table, Luffy beamed. He had something of a milk moustache from his hot chocolate, and somehow a marshmallow had gotten into his hair. "Shishishishi! Sounds good to me! Did you learn that from the story?""

"Of course it does Captain." I smiled back. "But no, surprisingly enough, that's not something I learned from you. It was from a different show."

X

Chains around my neck, my wrists, my ankles… I marched in the middle of a line of people, unable to stop. But where were we going? All I could see ahead of us was black rock and bubbles- lots and lots of bubbles. As we got closer, one of the bubbles drifted over to land on my head. It burst with a shower of heat and stickiness, not at all like the pleasant, clean sensation of a soap bubble. There was something desperately wrong here. But between the chains and the bubble's goo, I could barely move, couldn't get away…

X

I woke up to a feeling of heaviness in my chest and shoulders. If I hadn't been lying on cold wood under an open sky, I would've been tempted to roll over and go back to sleep- I really didn't feel up to dealing with life right now. But I had to. Training was important, and there was the normal business of sailing to get on with at the very least. I dragged myself to my feet and began going through the motions. Ruatha chirped beside me, crawling under my chest when I got around to doing push ups. Idiot. If I fell on him, he'd get hurt.

Moving slower than usual, I was the last one to the galley for breakfast. It meant that my usual place was already occupied, taken over by the half-asleep form of our gunner. I slid into the space Usopp usually occupied, which put my back to the door instead of allowing me to lean back on a wall. I poked at my eggs, ducking under a plate that flew across the room as Johnny defended his food from Luffy.

"Leave off Big Bro! Get your own!"

"I did! But I'm still hungry!"

"Let everyone else eat first Shitty Rubber!" Sanji kicked the captain in the head while at the same time refilling Nami's morning tea. "You can have more if there's any left after!"

The open space at my back made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I stopped pushing my food around my plate and ate quickly before springing to my feet to leave. Yosaku looked up at me in confusion. "Where're you going Big Sis?"

"Meditating. Like usual." I strode out of the galley and climbed into the rigging. Ruatha tried to come with me, but I left the dragon on the deck. He crooned and cried, angry at not being able to take his place on my shoulder. For once, I ignored him.

Over almost three months since I'd come to this world and started learning about sailing, I'd perfected the art of twining my legs into the lines so I could sit among the rigging. Closing my eyes, I tried to focus on my center. My head was too fuzzy though, and the weight refused to leave my chest and shoulders. A gust of wind caught the rigging. I reached out to grab the nearest lines for support, although I was unlikely to fall even without the extra grip. After a moment, I allowed myself to lean back, until I was hanging upside down. That helped; the weight lessened as blood flowed to my head.

Seconds later, I rolled back upright. Almost three months since I'd come here… And it had been less than two months before my birthday when I changed worlds. I was twenty-four now, had been since probably around Loguetown. Huh. My time sense was really screwed up- I didn't even know what month it was here, what day. Well… I knew Luffy had set off in early May, and if travel time before the Baratie was similar to after it, I'd joined less than a month into his voyage. So it was… August, maybe? Which put my birthday at the end of July in this timeline. Nowhere near the actual date.

The logic puzzle of figuring out the date made the weight fall away even further. Distraction; I needed a distraction. Since I couldn't focus well enough to meditate, I pulled out the ivory armband Ghin and I had gotten as part of the spoils of our con in Loguetown. Flipping open my Swiss Army Knife, I began the delicate task of carving a lightning bolt into the hard surface. I wasn't much of a whittler- stabbed myself in the leg almost every time- and ivory scrimshaw was an unfamiliar medium, so I took extra care. As for why a lightning bolt… I said back at the Baratie that I should make Ghin an element of loyalty armband or something.

Sure enough, a few minutes in, my knife slipped on the smooth ivory. The blade tore through my pants just above the knee, sinking into flesh atop a familiar, well-worn scar. I hissed and pulled back. Blood welled up, but slowed almost instantly. A quick flex of my knee assured me I hadn't sliced through anything important; just a flesh wound, just like every other time I'd done this. I shook my head and wiped my knife clean on the hem of my shirt before getting back to work.

Time fell away as I cautiously scraped at the shining white. It was soothing- a different form of meditation, once I got into the rhythm of it. Ruatha eventually stopped crying, curling up at the base of the mast. The dragonet raised his head and chirped as Luffy and Usopp approached.

"Jones! Time to play! You're it!" Luffy bounced up and down.

I sighed. Playing… I really didn't feel like it right now, didn't want to deal with people. But training was important. I put away what I was doing and untangled myself from the rigging. At the last moment, I switched my descent from swinging down the lines to a straight drop, absorbing the force as I landed. Usopp frowned.

"Since when can you do things like that?" The gunner's voice was petulant- jealous.

"My Devil Fruit allows me to absorb, reflect, and otherwise manipulate natural forces. Absorbing's easiest; I still haven't gotten the hang of using them for much. That's why I've been exploding and flying all over the place the last couple days; I keep throwing myself when I lose control of the recoil."

Usopp nodded. Physics made sense to him, being a sniper and a tinkerer. Meanwhile Luffy's eyes glazed over. "Saa… Your fruit does what?"

Well, the captain tended to learn better by doing. I bent my knees and channelled all the force I'd just absorbed into my feet, launching myself intentionally. The silent explosion fired me at Luffy, sending him tumbling across the deck as I collided with his chest. By the time the rubber boy had gotten over his surprise and rolled to his feet, I was leaning on the mast with my hands in my pockets, as if nothing had happened. The right side of my mouth quirked up. "You're it, Captain."

A wide grin grew across Luffy's face. It was a grin that promised retribution. I pulled my hands out of my pockets and took off across the deck. Luffy was much faster than me; the only hope I had was to build up more force and launch myself away. Unfortunately for me, doing so on the fly was impossible. It went against years of muscle memory and training to reduce impact.

"Gotcha!" Heavy rubber slammed into my back, sending me crashing into the deck. I coughed. There was the force I was looking for.

"Why'd you come for me? I was just it- it's Usopp's turn!"

I could feel Luffy's shrug. "You were closer. And you had the same smirk Sabo used to get when he and Ace made fun of me. Rubber's an awesome power!"

"Not arguing there." I channeled the force of Luffy's tackle through my hands and into the deck, the same motion as a focus break. We both flew up into the air. The captain wrapped one hand around my wrist and the other around a rail, preventing us from going overboard.

"Just excited is all, Captain. It feels good to start getting a hold on my powers."

"It does! I had so much fun when I was learning to use the Gum-Gum Fruit! But you don't sound very excited." Luffy frowned as we hit the deck.

I bit my lip and tugged my hat down to shadow my eyes. Instead of answering or explaining, I turned and whistled for Ruatha. The dragon came running to see if I was going to play with him. Which I was, in a manner of speaking. It was time for him to learn "sit," "stay," and "heel." Luffy bounced in place beside me.

"Are you gonna get Usopp now?"

"No, Captain. I don't really feel like playing today, so I was gonna start training Ruatha instead. Can't have him hurting anyone by accident, and he needs to be able to fight just like the rest of us."

"Oh- cool!" Luffy flopped down on the rail, feet curving up over his head and hands supporting his chin. "Whatcha gonna teach him? Something cool? Can he fly yet? Are you gonna ride him?"

"Maybe someday." I patted Ruatha on the head. "He's nowhere near big enough right now though. We're just starting at the beginning today- no fighting or anything yet. Now sit!" My last words were directed at Ruatha as I pushed down on his hindquarters.

Getting the dragonet down wasn't the problem. He sat readily enough, staring up at me with eyes bluer than the sea. It was when I tried to take the next step that things didn't go well. I held my hand out in front of me, level with that scaly head, as I backed slowly away. "Stay…"

"Roo?" I'd barely gone three steps when Ruatha decided to jump for my chest and lick my face. Luffy laughed as I fell backwards.

"Shishishishishi! I don't think he wants to stay!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." I wiped dragon spit off my face and flicked a gob of it at my captain. It missed, splashing into the water behind him. That only made the rubber boy laugh louder. Then he paused, cocking his head to the side.

"Hey Jones… Do your moves have names?"

"Eh? What?" I was only half paying attention. The other half of my brain was occupied with trying to keep Ruatha from chewing on my hat. A few raps of my knuckles on a scaly snout did the trick.

"Like… I have Gum-Gum Pistol and stuff, and Zoro's got Oni Giri, and Sanji has all that French stuff, but you and Ghin never say anything while you're fighting. You yell sometimes though. Are those your move names?"

"No." Ruatha curled up on my lap. I scratched behind his horns, feeling like Doctor No about to monologue at James Bond. "I can't speak for Ghin, but my techniques… The names are too long. In the time it took me to say one, I could perform a bunch. A kiai- that yell you mentioned- is better."

"Whaddya mean?" Luffy rolled over so he was lying on his back, arms dangling from either side of the rail. There was a rubbery squeak as he contorted his neck so he could still face me properly.

"Well… How many times do you think I could punch someone in the time it takes me to say migi ashi- ura fudo dachi: oi tsuki?"

"Um…" Luffy's face turned bright red as he tried to figure it out. I smiled; he was adorable. Wait… Gods above and below, was Sabo rubbing off on me? But I'd only spoken to the Chief of Staff twice! "Twenty-six?"

No … Although with practice… "Thirteen, actually. But the point stands, there's no point in me yelling technique names when it takes longer to say them than to perform them. What brought this on?"

"Well… If Ruatha does what you say, then his moves have names, right? Then I remembered that you fight all quiet, and since you're starting to work with your fruit… Are you gonna be quiet about that too?"

I shrugged, not having an answer. Why Luffy even thought this was important, I had no idea. Or… I knew why a kiai was important, but it was a toss up as to whether Luffy's logic fell in a similar vein or not. For all I knew, he was just asking because he thought naming your techniques sounded cool. Standing, I tapped Ruatha on the snout.

"Come on, silly little shenanigan. Up. We're gonna try that again. You're gonna be better than my aunt's dogs by the time I'm through with you."

"Rasha!" Ruatha flared his wings and stretched to his full height, head almost at my waist.

Luffy whined. "But Jones… You've gotta play with me and Usopp! We need at least three for it to be good tag!"

"I already told you, Captain- I don't feel like playing today. I'm older than you; sometimes it happens."

"If you don't feel like it, you need to do it even more!" Luffy nodded to himself. "It always made Ace feel better."

"Well, hopefully it hasn't escaped your notice, but I'm not your brother." I raised an eyebrow at my captain, unamused. He fidgeted in place.

"Yeah, I know. But it doesn't mean you don't need to play. Besides- I wanna see Usopp's face when you fly at him and hit him like whoosh!" Luffy swung his arms around to emphasize his point. One particularly wild motion nearly sent him tumbling off the rail and over the side; I grabbed his wrist before he went overboard.

"Shishishishi! Thanks Jones!"

"You should be more careful. I can't go in after you if you fall."

"That's fine- Zoro can get me out!" Luffy pointed at the bosun, dozing by the bow. Hearing his name, the swordsman opened one eye and nodded before returning to his nap. Then a rubber finger poked me in the cheek.

"Come on Jones- play! Let's go!" Luffy took off into the rigging, expecting me to follow. I sighed.

"Aye-aye sir." A few punches to the deck built up a decent charge of force. I used it to launch myself across the deck, aiming for Usopp. Ruatha bounded along behind me. The sniper squeaked as I crashed into him. Something crunched; I think I squashed one of his Egg Stars.

"Usopp Rubber Band of Doom!" The less-than-impressive weapon bounced off my nose. I grinned.

"Won't work on me- glasses protect my eyes from such minor projectiles. You're it, Master Gunner."

"Not for long, Karate-ka!" Usopp tried to grab onto me; I shot force out my feet again to send myself up into the rigging. The sniper let out a squawk of indignation as he scrambled for a line to join myself and the captain aloft.

Tag was more difficult so high above the deck; there was nothing for my feet to grip and little to push myself off of. Luffy was at a massive advantage here, even more so than he had just by being himself. But that was fine. Just the exertion of swinging and jumping around, falling down to the decking and rails only to continue vaulting and climbing… It helped me forget the strange weight in my chest. It was fun. Although, while I tried to train Ruatha as we moved, it didn't work very well.

Looking up from her charts on the poop deck, Nami sighed. "Jones, you're older than everyone but Ghin. Would it kill you to be more mature?"

I paused in my flight, hanging from a line like a sideways starfish. It probably made me difficult to take seriously, but who cares? "I like to think I'm being very mature. There's nothing wrong with a little training- it might save my life one day."

"Well, could you at least keep it down with the… whatever you're doing that sends you flying and crashing into people? You're rocking the ship."

I was… I hadn't even considered that my poorly controlled powers might be accelerating the damage to the Going Merry. And I still didn't have a plan to save her… Swinging close to the mast, I pressed a hand against warm wood. "Sorry… I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Who're you talking to Jones?" Usopp slung down beside me, his feet dangling as he hung from the yard arm.

"Merry. I didn't realize my powers were hurting her."

"The ship?" Hooking his legs over a line, the sniper shimmied over so he was sitting next to me. He touched the mast, eyes lighting up. "She's warm… Is this a witch thing, where everything has its own spirit or something?"

"Not exactly, but kind of. Merry loves us. I think you're her favourite though. You're the one who painted her flag, who can keep her together until we get a full-time carpenter."

"Got you both!" Luffy stretched up from below and grabbed our ankles. Usopp shrieked; I kicked. Neither had any effect. The line that came untied and slapped our captain across the face, however, did. Luffy released us and staggered back, a drop of blood welling up at the corner of his mouth.

The rubber boy spun with a snap, one hand holding his hat on his head as he looked around. "Johnny! Yosaku! Did you do that?"

A dark head popped out of the head. "No can do, Big Bro!" was Johnny's jaunty reply. "We're busy right now!" The blue hunter disappeared before anyone could ask what he and his partner were getting up to.

"Wah! Mystery ropes! So cool!" Luffy began to dance around, playing with the line that had hit him. Usopp and I, hands still pressed against the mast, heard a faint tinkling of laughter. If anyone else noticed it, they gave no indication.

X

Showering onboard the Going Merry was never a comfortable affair. She was a good little ship, but her water heater left much to be desired. Bathing was lukewarm at best- and that was even if you were the first one that day. If you were, say, the third person trying to wash up, the water was as cold as the ocean depths from which it had been so recently drawn. Especially if Sanji had spent two hours earlier trying to get some unidentifiable red goop out of his hair.

And no, no one knew whether it was from a cooking experiment or something Johnny and Yosaku did. The cook wasn't saying.

"Maudit! That's cold!" I jumped, barely able to keep myself from exiting the shower completely and giving up on this endeavor. Icy water poured down my back, soaking into my hair. Long hair is a pain, by the way- it takes forever to wash properly, and even longer to dry. But it's good for hiding scars and sneaking glances, and I know how to use it as a weapon. The trade-off is worth it.

Footsteps drummed outside as I scrubbed shampoo into my hair, followed by the sound of dress shoes hitting a pair of skulls. "What're you shitheads doing? Jones is in there!"

"What? Big Sis is in the bathroom?" I could practically hear Johnny pale. "That- that's not good. We forgot one of our experiments in there- it's a…"

"Time-delayed trigger mechanism. The payload on this one's harmless, but Big Sis won't be happy if it goes off on her. And it's set to go off in…"

"About thirty seconds!"

There was no way I could get out and dressed before whatever it was went off. So I quickly rinsed shampoo off, looking around for this unknown experiment. I was impressed; it wasn't easy to conceal anything in the head, but I didn't see any sign of whatever Johnny and Yosaku had been working on. Either it was very small, or very well hidden. They should turn this propensity for pranks into making traps or explosives for use in combat.

Then something blue erupted out of the sink. The entire room was coated- the floor, the portal, the towels, my clothes… me. Everything was splattered with Prussian blue ink. I blinked, otherwise frozen. Only when the cold water started to make my feet go numb did I shake off the surprise and get moving again. I finished washing quickly, but no amount of scrubbing got the ink to even fade, let alone come off.

Throwing my clothes on, I stomped out of the head with vengeance on my mind. Dark spots covered my face, bandanna, shirt… They weren't visible on my pants, but I could feel the wet splotches where the ink soaked into the fabric. "Johnny! Yosaku! I need to talk to you!"

Nami shook her head when I went up on the poop deck in search of the wayward hunters. "They're not here. Last I saw of them, Sanji was kicking them around the forecastle."

I peeked out of the tangerine grove. The trees were growing far more quickly than they would have on Earth; soon they'd be ready to start fruiting, a milestone that took my family's lemon trees four years. The desire to study them was almost enough to make me give up my hunt for the prankster duo. Almost. "They're not there now. If they were, I'd be able to hear them yelping."

"Try the bilge then." The navigator shrugged. "But while you're up here… Will we be able to get a landing craft at this Whiskey Peak place?"

My hand rose without conscious thought, preparing to block, but Nami made no move to approach me. I shifted my hand around to rub the back of my head, as if that was what I'd meant to do all the time. "Maybe. I dunno; in the story, it was a long time before any landing craft were shown. Whiskey Peak has a good harbour though, so no one has to fly Air Gum-Gum to get to shore."

"Good. No one likes that except Luffy."

"Hey! I do!"

"People who don't sleep in bedrooms and think the rigging is a good place to meditate don't count. And why would you need Luffy to Rocket you to the shore? You seem to do well enough throwing yourself around, if nothing else." Nami's tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated on something on one of her charts.

"Eh." I shrugged. "Fair enough. Now, excuse me, but I have some hunters to wreak vengeance on."

"Have fun wading through the bilge when you've just managed to get clean."

I gestured to the ink splattered all over me. "Do I look clean? Really?"

"Point taken. So, what're you planning to do to them? Sometimes it seems you plan everything out, and then other times… I can't decide whether you're the type to set up a prank of your own, or just beat them black and blue."

"Second option. While I enjoy pranks and setting them up, I don't have any ideas. Plus, I think they'd beat me at a prank war- there's two of them, after all." I waved before making my way to the main hatch and down towards the bilge.

It was a place I never went- mostly because Johnny and Yosaku had claimed it as something of a workshop early on. Not that anyone had ever seen them produce anything down there, but no one was really willing to check. Even if we knew whether they'd trapped the place and their pranks weren't slowly escalating, it was a bilge. The place smelled bad enough even without the hunters having to do anything.

The lights were dim in the depths of the ship, lower than the hold and the cabins. It had a low ceiling too; I could stand, but Sanji and Zoro would've had to duck. Combined, this made maneuvering difficult- at least, once I spotted the tripwires that had been hastily stretched all across the floor. And yes, I could tell they'd been prepared in a rush- when they had time to do things properly, Johnny and Yosaku painted their wires matte black or brown to make them harder to see. These ones were still silvery, glinting in the light that filtered down between the boards.

"Cooruk?" Ruatha scampered down the ladder behind me, leaping onto my shoulder as soon as he got close enough. I patted his muzzle and held a finger to my lips.

"Shush. Quiet bud. We're hunting." I stepped carefully between the wires, keeping my footfalls as light as I could.

It didn't take long before I came up behind two crouching shadows. The hunters didn't seem to notice me behind them, as they didn't pause in their whispering. "Even if that would catch Big Sis, Big Bro Sanji would have us scrubbing pots for the rest of our lives!"

"Forget pots- if the blast radius was what we thought, we're gonna be scrubbing the head for the rest of our lives. Not that they'll be very long if Big Sis got hit…"

"Nah, Big Sis wouldn't kill us."

"Kill? No." I grinned as the backs facing me stiffened. "Maim or traumatize? Yes. You two better have a solvent that'll get this ink out of my shirt- I seem to wreck enough of them as it is."

"Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"I think we forgot something. Big Sis likes climbing over rocks and stuff- she looks where she steps. And I didn't paint the wires. Did you?"

"No. I thought you did."

As much as I enjoyed letting them stew in this, I had other things I could be doing. I grabbed them each by an ear, pinching. It wasn't as effective as if Nami had done it- my nails were short, the better for martial arts- but both hunters still yelped like children. Ruatha chattered and squawked. "Solvent. Now. Preferably one that won't leave my clothes splotched and faded from bleach."

"Yes Ma'am!" Yosaku reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle. I released the men in order to catch it when the green hunter tossed it back. "Dunno 'bout purple, but that's never leached any blue or green dye."

"Thank you."

Both hunters turned slowly to look up at me. "So… If your clothes aren't wrecked, does that mean you'll let us off easy?"

"No. Johnny was right- you two are on head-cleaning duty forever." I didn't really have the authority to enforce that, but I was sure the combined threat of me, Sanji and Ghin would keep the pranksters in line. Possibly Nami too- the navigator had far less tolerance for the hunters' pranks than she did for my acting like one of the guys. They were so lucky they'd hit me instead of her.

"Also… Ruatha, spit!" It was the command that came easiest to the dragonet- only took an hour to teach him, while he still refused to sit or stay. Twin gobs of slime hit Johnny and Yosaku in the face. They groaned.

"Gross! Big Sis!"

I shrugged. "Hey, do unto others as they do unto you."

Footsteps sounded on the wood above; a shaft of light came down amidships as the hatch opened up. Ghin's voice came down. "Johnny! Yosaku! Jones! The Don's calling all hands and the cook on deck! We've got a- I don't know what to call it, just come see!"

"Coming!" I high-stepped back through the maze of tripwires to the ladder. Behind me, Johnny and Yosaku somehow got tangled in their own traps. Not that it took them long to get out. In fact, from the practiced way they clipped the wires and were behind me again in about five seconds, it seemed like they had a lot of practice getting out of their own messes.

It took several seconds of blinking after getting back up on deck to get used to the sunlight again. Before that, the only indication I got of what was going on was a rushing sound, almost as if we were approaching… a waterfall? I raced to the rail as I felt the Merry trying to turn. It was an awkward movement; something, some current, was slowing her and making her choppy.

"Is that a waterfall in the middle of the ocean?" I asked Nami, just to confirm that I wasn't hallucinating. She nodded.

"I didn't want to believe it, but it's there. You were right- this is the sea where sanity goes to die. Have you seen something like this before?"

"Briefly. It was in the opening scenes of the… second theme song of the show? Third? Early on in the series anyway." I ran to start adjusting the mainsail for more speed as Sanji kept turning the ship.

It's tempting to say that the waterfall didn't phase me, and I certainly didn't let the crew see that it did. Seriously, though? Inside I was screaming the whole time. It was just a hole in the middle of the ocean, a great crater with sides like Niagara Falls. The crashing roar of the water was almost deafening as we were pulled closer; I could barely hear Nami shouting orders over the sound.

Mist was rising around the ship, the Merry's deck growing slick and shiny. Luffy slipped as he scrambled between lines on the mizzenmast; Zoro caught him before he fell overboard. And no matter what we did, we were being pushed slowly backwards. The wind was coming at us side on, so we couldn't catch enough of it to counter the current from the falls. I could barely see through the water splashing up, beading on my glasses. Beneath my feet, Merry groaned.

"Where's all the water going?" Zoro shouted over the roar of the falls. Nami shook her head.

"I don't know! There must be a geyser somewhere, or some sort of underwater cave system!"

"How do we escape?"

"If I knew, we'd be away already! Jones?"

"Don't ask me! In the opening, it just showed the Merry kind of climbing out right as she was getting pulled over the edge!" I coughed into my sleeve as I hauled another line, trying desperately to coax just a little more wind from the sails.

"A ship can't climb!" Despite the minor crisis, Nami still had time to throw an empty bottle at me. Where she got it, I don't know. It bounced off my shoulder and rolled across the deck.

"Hey! Don't litter! Can you imagine how much of a mess the Grand Line will be if every time you're pissed at someone, a piece of trash lands in the water? And if any ship can climb, it's Merry! Just trust me, she's special! Usopp can feel it too!"

The deck was tilting backwards; we were close to the edge, if we weren't on it already. My heart raced. Merde, merde, merde, how to get out of this? I knew what my beta reader would do- she wanted to be a pilot, so she'd find a way to make the Going Merry fly. I couldn't do that though, didn't know how. Usopp slid past me, unable to keep a grip on the ever-steeper slope of the deck; Luffy grabbed the gunner with one hand so the pair of them ended up dangling from the mast.

"Ghin! Ideas?" I called out for the most experienced sailor on instinct, forgetting for a moment that he was as much of a Grand Line rookie as the rest of us. The former Krieg pirate stared at me from where he was perched- upside down- on the yard arm.

"The armada never got this far! Only thing I can think of is to put our heads between our knees and kiss our asses goodbye- and only you, Sanji, and the Don are flexible enough to pull that off!"

"Oh, bite me!"

"That would only give Sanji more fuel- he still thinks we're fucking!"

"You certainly act like it sometimes!" Nami interrupted as the ship went fully vertical. Everyone grabbed onto something, although despite our collective panic, there were no screams as the Going Merry slipped backwards into the abyss. Even Johnny and Yosaku- who normally would've been quicker that way than even Usopp- were silent, staring at Ghin and I. I rolled my eyes. For the love of yaoi… Now was not the time for a running gag!

"Scree!" Ruatha wrapped himself around my neck as we went into freefall, strangling me. Black spots danced across my vision; my throat and lungs burned. I released the rail I was holding in order to detach the dragonet from my neck, falling backwards. A mesh of lines met my back before I could go overboard.

All this takes a long time to describe, but in reality, it was only a few seconds. And then came the rumbling, louder even than the roar of the waterfall. Nami's eyes went wide. "I knew it! Everyone hold on- there's a geyser!"

Almost as soon as she was done speaking, a great column of water shot up from the base of the deluge, steaming and bubbling. It hit the stern of the Merry and fired us into the air. I clung to the lines around me for dear life; Ruatha's claws dug into my shoulders enough to draw blood and his tail wrapped around my neck again. Burning hot water splashed over everyone, enough to make Johnny cry out.

The ship flew out over the waterfall, flipping and spinning to make a roller coaster jealous. We went upside down at least eight times- it was hard for me to tell. If Ruatha hadn't been strangling me again, I would probably have been sick. Nami was sick; luckily, she managed to vomit downwind. Luffy, meanwhile, was having a blast.

"Shishishishishi!"

SPLASH!

Thank the gods we landed right way up. Splatters of water taller than out mainmast flew up and came crashing down over the deck. But we weren't out of the woods yet. The current that had initially caught us was still going strong, dragging the ship back towards the falls and geyser. I peeled Ruatha off my neck and got back to work, staggering across the deck as if I was drunk. My eyes were spinning.

"Hold on Merry." I patted the ship on the rails. Even she felt nauseous, her wood trembling under my hand. Not far away, Nami was recovering from her own bout of illness.

"Sanji, turn us ninety degrees to starboard! We need to get the wind behind us, even if it means clipping around the edge of the pit!"

"Of course Nami!" Were there… Were there hearts flying off of the cook? I shook my head as Sanji hauled on the whipstaff. Usopp shrieked.

"Clip the edges?! But what if we go over on our side?!"

"Jones seems to think the Going Merry can just climb out! While I don't believe that, I certainly believe that it means we won't go in! Besides, if she claims to have years of future knowledge, we obviously can't die here!"

"Actually, it's fully possible! I change things just be being here, let alone the ones I'm trying to- my screwing up and getting someone hurt or killed is a distinct possibility!"

"Not helping!"

Dark clouds filled the sky with alarming quickness. From the look on her face, Nami didn't expect them any more than I did. That wasn't good. But they weren't doing anything yet, so I ignored them for now.

The Merry leaned sharply as she caught the wind, sails filling and lines creaking. Her deck shook as she took the current side on. We swung around in a great arc, skimming along the edge of the falls without quite falling over the edge. A couple of lines snapped; Johnny and Yosaku hugged each other even as they spliced them back together.

"We're gonna die!" Despite his wailing, Usopp was fully functional, helping me adjust the mainsail. Zoro hit him over the head.

"Calm down! We're gonna be fine!"

"How can you be sure? There's a waterfall in the middle of the sea, a geyser at the bottom, and I bet there's sharks around too! How could this get any worse?"

"Don't say things like that!" My warning came too late. Usopp didn't read as much as me, probably didn't know what a movie even was… There was no way he could've known… The dark clouds crackled as I spoke, dumping icy water on everyone. Lightning flashed across the sky.

"Ruatha, spit!" My partner obeyed with glee. Usopp sputtered, wiping water and dragon saliva off his face.

"What was that for?"

"Never ask how things can get worse! They always can!"

We finally pulled free of the current on the other side of the crater, the Merry popping back upright. It was still slow going, but the little caravel made better and better speed as we moved further away from those circular falls. The rain didn't let up though. I shivered; I'd take snow over rain any day. At least the snow had been dry. My clothes clung to my body as I finally finished my part of the adjustments for our new course.

"Having fun?" Ghin sat down beside me as I started using the solvent Yosaku had given me to wash ink from my clothes and skin. I shrugged.

"Not at the moment, but I'm sure it'll turn around soon. Oh! Before I forget- Johnny and Yosaku have been voluntold to clean the head on an indefinite basis. Don't let them forget."

The former Krieg pirate chuckled. "I'll keep an eye on them, don't worry."

X

My shin met Ghin's forearm with a burst of pain. I fell back, slipping a little on the still-slick deck. We'd been sparring for almost two hours by now; I was panting and sweating, barely able to keep up. My partner raised his eyebrows at me. "Something wrong? You usually have more energy than this."

"I'm fine. It's what we were doing earlier; running around trying to get away from that waterfall tired me out." I got ready to fight some more, only for Ghin to poke me in the forehead before pushing me down to sit on a rail.

"No. That's enough for tonight. Something's off; you may be weak and slow, but your endurance usually rivals Zoro. Although… One day you need to take those weights off while you're fighting. I'd like to see if you're any better without them." Ghin sat beside me and placed a hand on my forehead as if checking for a fever. He grunted and shrugged when he realized I didn't have one.

"Eh." I waggled a hand from side to side. "They're not all that heavy, so I don't think it'd make a difference. Although… gravity is a force. I wonder if I can use my powers to make them heavier." Maybe eventually, but how?

"Forc- oh. I think you overused your powers earlier, launching yourself around the deck after Usopp and the Don. That's why you're tired. Don't do things like that."

"Yes mom," I yawned, leaning on Ghin's shoulder. My eyelids felt so heavy… They drooped closed of their own accord. I had no idea how long we'd been sitting like that when a polite cough made me jump.

Sanji towered over us, one curly eyebrow raised in amusement. "And you two are sure you're not together? You're sure look like it. Especially since Jones still won't let anyone else touch her."

Ghin shook his head and shot the cook a middle finger salute. "Fuck off Blondie. Why do you care anyway? I thought you were after Nami."

"And I am- she's so beautiful! But I can't help it if I see all the love blooming on this ship. You can't hide it from me, even if everyone else buys your denial."

"Typical Frenchman." I closed my eyes and leaned on Ghin again. Loath as I was to admit it, I was tired. "Sees romance everywhere a guy and a girl even look at each other, but doesn't mention the fact that the pranksters are-!"

"Don't even got there." Sanji held up a hand to stop me before lighting a cigarette. "I've walked in on those two too many times. When you're sleeping on deck, they shift things to the head or the hallways- wherever they can find room."

Sighing, Ghin patted my head. "I told you not to go poking around at night. Not my fault you didn't listen. Now, did you just come to gossip like a fishwife? Cause no matter how many times you ask, the answer is that Jones and I aren't together that way. She's like one of the younger kids I used to look after in the gang. It'd be like making moves on my little sister."

"No, that's not why I'm here." The smell of Sanji's smoke made me cough. "I was coming to find out who's taking the prisoners their grub. Tried asking Luffy, but he and Usopp just called "not it" and took off."

"Why don't you do it yourself?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. That's the same thing the shitty moss ball asked. No, I can't. Nami dear said I'm not allowed- something about the way I act around the princess."

Groaning, I opened my eyes and stood up. "Obviously you're here so I can do it. The plot demands that I speak with Vivi again before Whiskey Peak, eh? Where's the tray- galley?" I was on my way to fetch it before the cook could answer.

Behind my back, Sanji sighed. "Do you think we'll ever understand some of the things she says?"

"Given that a few days ago, Zoro said she was going on about a girl behind a keyboard? No idea. What's a keyboard?"

"Not a shitty clue."

Climbing down to the hold with a tray of food wasn't the easiest maneuver, but by now I had plenty of experience. Even so, I spilled some tea on my hand, hot chamomile creating a small, yellowish burn. It looked like a demented smiley face. I licked it after I'd given Vivi and Mr Nine their food; the wannabe prince sneered at me while I did so.

"Of course, the mother of beasts would act like one. Do you let your dragon lick your wounds too?"

"Funny how brave you are when Ruatha isn't around. Did it ever occur to you that a witch might be more dangerous than her familiar?" I stopped my licking to fix the agent with a grin, letting my canines show. They're rather pronounced, or so I've been told.

That made Mr Nine pale. He glanced at Vivi. "Miss Wednesday… Has she- has she done anything to you?"

"What? No. Jones may talk big, but she's not a threat. Just a witch with a soft spot for animals." Vivi forced a sneer of her own, bitchy bounty hunter mask firmly in place.

I scowled, then forced an even wider grin. "Soft spot for animals, eh? True enough. But you should take care… When it comes to men rather than animals, I have some pretty hard spots. Wait… That came out wrong. Very, very wrong." My face smacked into the palm of my hand as I realized what I'd implied.

Vivi snickered. I raised my eyebrows; for some reason, I'd thought the princess would be innocent. Then again, I'd lost that sort of innocence when I was several years younger than her, and I hadn't been trying my hand at espionage. She'd had to grow up quickly in certain ways. But was this the princess or the agent laughing? Eh, it didn't matter. Meanwhile Mr Nine looked confused and a little scared. I sighed and took off my hat to run a hand through my hair.

The pair ate quietly, with Mr Nine sending me nervous looks. Vivi swallowed a bite of her dinner and gestured at my shoulder with her fork. "Where is the little scale rat, anyway? I thought you did everything together."

"He's just a baby. Needs his sleep." I'd left Ruatha curled up at the base of the mast when Ghin and I were sparring.

Nodding, the princess finished her food. Dark eyes met mine. "I need to use the head."

"Just a minute. I can't leave your partner alone 'til he's bound up again."

"What?" Mr Nine snorted into his pasta. "What could I possibly do? My legs are still taped up and you took all my weapons!"

"And I can name more than a dozen people who could still cause chaos in that sort of situation. I'm well aware that you're not one of them, not a real threat, but I refuse to take a chance on you getting lucky." My voice was sharp, more so than I meant it to be. Mr Nine flinched.

When he was done eating, I taped his hands again. Zoro would be down later to take him to the head if he needed it. Then I unbound Vivi's ankles. She nodded and rose, stepping softly as she followed me. Even if her words and weapons were those of a Baroque Works agent, her body language was still that of a princess. Quiet, purposeful, smooth, firm. She'd probably spent years learning to dance, to move like that. The only other people I'd known who were similar were the senior girls when I figure skated as a child.

The door to the head clicked closed behind us; Vivi leaned back on it. "Please… I don't mean to pry, but… Whatever you know, however your crew means to save my kingdom… I want to help."

"You're amazingly quick to trust someone who won't explain where they get their information and knocked you out with a toilet seat." I sat down on the edge of the tub. "Almost anyone else would hate me- you should at least be suspicious."

Strands of turquoise hair that had come free of their ponytail fell forwards to shade the princess' eyes. Vivi sighed, a shuddering, shaking sound. "You think I'm not?" She snapped her head up to look me in the eye. This time, I held her gaze. "I don't trust you as far as I could throw you, and I'm iffy on whether I could even pick you up! But the things you know, and what you say… I'm desperate, alright? Crocodile means to take over my kingdom by way of a civil war, causing who knows how much death and destruction. I have to take every weapon I can, every sliver of hope…"

For a moment, I could say nothing. There was little to say- I knew Crocodile's plans, and if Vivi's desperation was more intense than I remembered it being in the manga, I put that off to my lack of experience with situations like this. Her eyes were wet; she was trying not to cry. I observed in silence at first, unsure of what to do. Should I try to comfort her? How? There were no words to make things okay, not until after Luffy kicked Crocodile's ass and the end was in sight. Trying to placate the princess would likely only make her angry. So I settled on the mask of the jester- if I couldn't make the problem go away, I could at least make her laugh. Hopefully. So I pasted a mock scowl on my face and spoke with a vaguely singsong voice.

"Iffy on whether you cou-? Are you calling me fat?"

My words took Vivi totally off-guard. Her jaw dropped; she stared at me for a second. Then her face turned red. "I- no! Just- you're obviously built like a fighter and I'm… not. And then you carry around all those weapons and things all the time, plus your training weights." The princess looked away. "I thought you were a man at first- a short one, but still…"

"A mistake I encourage- although it probably made my searching you even more awkward. I'm sorry about that, by the way." I turned my mock scowl into a small smile. Vivi returned in kind. Then her face fell.

"I- Thank you for trying to distract me, but I'm afraid I can't stop thinking about my nation. You said something yesterday about me being one of the actively benevolent nobles- surely you understand. Someone like you… You know the future, don't you? Or parts of it. Do you have any idea how valuable that is in a situation like mine?"

"Of course I know." I took my hat off and ran a hand through my bangs. "But you don't know the whole story. You're right; I know bits of the future. But I have to be careful about how I use that knowledge, who I tell. For example, I know where Kohza and his rebels will be when we get to Alabasta. But if you go there too early, you'll probably get killed by an assassin- there are Baroque Works agents infiltrating both his organization and the royal army."

"Really? They've gotten that far?" Vivi paled, hands shaking. Then she firmed up, gritting her teeth. "If- if you know as much as you seem to, you know that's a risk I'm willing to take. I'm okay with giving my life to save my country."

"But I'm not. Your people need you- alive. Getting yourself killed trying to talk Kohza down won't save anyone." I put my hat back on. "If we had more people, maybe… But we're a pirate crew, not an army. We have to do things a certain way when dealing with people like Crocodile. He has all the advantages- sand logia in a desert, larger organization, the people of your country like him… We have more information than he thinks we do, which is good, and a small group can move more quickly, do things he won't expect... It's possible to get behind his lines; we'll even have a few opportunities to do something about some of his major players early."

I trailed off, wondering what would happen in Alabasta. Should I try and keep Mr Two from acquiring faces from our crew members? He was a potential future ally, so it shouldn't be a huge problem, but letting him fight Sanji with Nami's face… And what about the Spider Café? Could I do anything to it while the officer agents were having their meeting? Was it a good idea to even try?

A slap broke me out of my thoughts. I stared at the princess, stunned. She glowered back. Her hand was still raised. The slap hadn't hurt or anything, but I still reached up to rub my cheek. "What was that for?"

"What was that-?" Vivi's eyes blazed, glowing red. I was impressed, in spite of my confusion. Whatever I'd done must be pretty serious; the princess wasn't the sort of person to lose it over just anything. "You're talking about people's lives, but you sound like you're planning strategies for some kind of game!"

"Actually, games like chess were invented for tacticians to improve their skills." I made a face; I hated chess… Not enough freedom to maneuver, no pieces that could replicate the effects of intelligence officers, different skill levels, fortifications… Nothing to represent lines of communication or differing terrain… Dungeons and Dragons and Kriegspiel were much better. My comment earned me another slap.

"How can you say things like that?"

"Because it's true. Look Princess, I'm trying to look at the big picture here. It's the only way to come up with a fool-proof strategy- and even then, the world will just find a way to make a better fool."

Third slap. Vivi really was crying now, her bright red eyes boring into my soul. "So the only way you can make a plan is by treating people like they're pieces in a game or puzzle? You're almost as much of a monster as Crocodile!"

Monster… I flinched and hung my head. Ice rushed down my spine. "Don't call me that."

"Why not? Because you happen to be on my side? That doesn't make it right!" Vivi sneered. "Or are you on anyone's side? For all I know, you're just using me, even using these pirates, to get something you want. You're right about one thing at least- your coincidental knowledge of everything is suspicious. And that lion on your arm… I've seen nobles from other countries wear similar symbols. What game are you playing?"

She moved to slap me again; I caught her wrist. "It's not a game. Yes, I'm a lot calmer about things than you are. I don't have an attachment to your kingdom or your people. But you need someone like that. You're too close to the issue; it's making you emotional. If you let it control you, you'll make mistakes. So no, I can't tell you anything right now. Ask me again when you can do so without attacking me." I scowled. "Besides- I thought you were desperate. Isn't that enough to get you to work with me? I swear, neither I nor anyone on this crew means your kingdom any harm."

"Just take me back to my partner and get out." Vivi refused to meet my eyes. I sighed and did as she asked.

That did not go well. I climbed back up to the deck, stifling a series of coughs. Ruatha was awake when I emerged from the hatch; I patted him absently as he climbed up onto my shoulder. Inside, the ice that had poured down my spine at Vivi's words was now a roiling mess freezing my stomach. My dragon crooned and rested his chin on my head.

"Roh?"

Biting my lip, I climbed up to the yardarm. It was almost dark; the Going Merry swayed gently in the last light of the sunset. "Being calm about battle and death doesn't make me a monster, does it?"

"Fus!" Ruatha snorted and licked my ear. I scratched the back of his head.

Vivi was just overreacting, taking her stress out on me because she couldn't slap Crocodile. I had to remember that. Didn't mean being called a monster didn't hurt. I sighed again. If only I'd been able to do things differently… Known what to say to make the princess feel better, to reassure her. I wasn't good at the whole empathy thing. Not with people at any rate. Animals were easier.

Hands and feet scrabbled on wood and rope. I looked up to see Zoro climbing to the crow's nest, getting ready for his watch shift. A quick wave got the bosun's attention. "You can go to bed Zoro; I'll take your watch."

The swordsman frowned. "But I always take first shift. Did something happen with the prisoners?"

"Managed to piss off the princess because I'm better at tactics than empathy; trying to stew in guilt."

"On the yardarm?"

"Yes. Is there something wrong with that?"

Zoro shrugged. "You're a Devil Fruit user, so it's not the best idea. You make people uncomfortable enough sleeping on deck. Not that I blame you for wanting to avoid the…" The swordsman trailed off, realizing that what he called Nami as an insult was my preferred title.

"I'll be alright. But… Tell Usopp and Yosaku I'll take their shifts too. Stewing in guilt can take me a while."

"But not long enough that you need Ghin's predawn shift too?"

That made me snort. "As if he'd let me. He needs to spend some time with Ace and Sabo- they can exchange tips on how to be awkwardly doting, overprotective pirate brothers."

A brief silence followed. Then Zoro huffed and started climbing down the mast. "Fine. I'll tell Usopp and Yosaku, but someone'll be up to check on you regularly, just in case." The swordsman shook his head before disappearing from my view. Before he went below decks, I heard his voice muttering in irritation. "Great. How'm I supposed to nap tomorrow if I get a good night's sleep? The cook'll never let me hear the end of it."

Hours passed, uneventful and cold. My legs went numb, sitting up where I was; there wasn't a lot of room on the yardarm to move around. Every once in a while I saw someone poke their head up from the main hatch, checking to make sure I hadn't fallen into the water. It was a different person each time, although Ghin was more frequent than anyone else. I tried training Ruatha as the night went on, although there wasn't much I could do without moving around. He managed to learn "high five" and "shake" though.

Whether I was working with my dragon or just sitting there, though, I kept going back to that conversation with Vivi. What should I have said instead? How do you reassure a princess whose country is gearing up for civil war? Should I have said more about what was going on? Told her where I came from? I didn't want to do that for anyone outside the crew- Vivi was an honorary Straw Hat, but she still wouldn't be sailing with us forever. Plus, she would have regular dealings with other governments and high ranking marines- unavoidable for a noble- so the less she knew, the less everyone was at risk if something went wrong. Not that I was even sure what the risks were, not in this case…

Erg. This was making my head hurt. I didn't even know how to comfort someone whose boyfriend had broken up with them. Merde. This people thing was hard.

Even without a clock, I could tell when four o'clock in the morning rolled around. That was when the night went from cold to unbearable, my insides starting to shiver. I yawned once, and suddenly couldn't stop. My brain kept trying to check out; I bit myself on the hand every time to keep myself awake. Rocking back and forth helped a little, but not much. Both eyes ached.

All-nighters are a bitch.

A poke to the forehead stopped my rocking before I could tumble off the yardarm. Ghin grabbed me by the shoulder and shook me, hard. "Jones… Go get some sleep."

"But I'm not tired Mommy." Bull moose shit. I could barely think straight, let alone keep my eyes open.

"Oh really?" Ghin shoved me off the yard in such a way that I smashed into the deck. It woke me up; had to give him that. I groaned and coughed, but otherwise didn't move. Ghin dropped down beside me. "It's almost dawn and you've been up all night. Get some sleep, or when Sanji sees you napping in random places cause you're so tired, I'll tell him you and Zoro switched bodies."

"Now I'm tempted to stay up just to see his reaction." I raised my head. A thin line of orange was starting to form on the horizon; dawn. "It's okay. I've done this sort of thing before. Gimme a few hours and I'll get my second wind. Second brain? Whatever it is that I need to stay awake all day."

"And you'll be just as out of it as if you were drunk. What if we get in a fight?" Ghin nudged me with his foot.

"I'll be fine. When I was in my undergrad, I wrote some spectacular essays on days like this. Everything from the warriors' code to Tom Cruise movies."

"From the way you're saying that, I'm guessing both those topics were in the same piece? And that they probably shouldn't have been?"

"Maybe…" Something strange was blocking out the line of orange, small and lumpy. I felt like I should know the shape, but nothing was coming to mind.

Ghin squinted into the dawn's light. "Are those cactuses?"

"Cacti." I was suddenly wide awake- although probably not for long. "The proper pluralization is cacti. And if that's really what's there, it means two things. First, we'll be at Whiskey Peak in a few hours."

My brain drifted out for a moment, prompting Ghin to poke me in the forehead. "And second?"

"Second? Oh, right… Second means that someone needs to check the anchor chain, cause I'm sure that wasn't there at sunset. We're drifting."