Thank you to everyone that reviewed! Time for the Victory Tour! Enjoy!
Chapter 33
The first half of the Victory Tour goes off without a hitch. I do exactly what I'm supposed to do. I wear what I'm told to wear; I say what I'm supposed to say. It's not until I reach District 4 that my nerves get to me. This is Finnick's district, the young man that did everything in his power to save me in the Quarter Quell. I can't help but think about how the crowd will react to me…how his family will act towards me.
I wait on the stage for my introduction by the mayor with previous victors sitting on the sides of the stage. It's something new they are doing this year since the Quell was all about past victors. I look out to the platforms where Mags' and Finnick's families are standing. Hers is full of children and grandchildren but Finnick's is rather empty, with only his mother and father standing there. The guilt intensifies. I took away their only child. They must hate me even though their faces hide it.
Once my introduction is complete, I stand and walk towards the microphone to a forced applause. I want to apologize to their families but no that is written nowhere on the cards in my hands.
'Stick to the cards, Katniss.' I tell myself. I start my speech to a quiet audience. About a quarter of the way through, I hear some choking sobs come from the side. I glance over to identify the person as Annie Cresta, the mad girl that Finnick was wholeheartedly in love with. My eyes seem to drift to her every so often. On the third time, I see that she is approaching me. I turn the mic away from me and tell her to go back to her seat. She doesn't listen.
"Why did he save you?" she chokes out, placing her hands on my shoulders.
"Go back. They'll hurt you." I quietly warn her.
"Why? Why did he have to die?" she asks, her body failing to hold her up. She takes me down with her.
"Annie, stop." I plead with her as tears form in my eyes.
"Did he say anything? Did he tell you to tell me anything?" she shouts in hysterics. My body flails under hers but I cannot free myself. The Peacekeepers come and rip her off of me, probably to take her back to her seat.
"Tell me!" she shouts as she resists them. "Finnick!"
It all happens in a matter of seconds but they might be the most terrifying seconds of my life. A Peacekeeper knocks her to the ground, quickly arms himself and fires a shot straight into her head only a few feet away from me. A humming of whispers buzz through the air from the crowd. The tears come and I feel like I cannot breathe. I tried to warn her but she wouldn't listen. I look over to Haymitch who points to the microphone. After all this, he wants me to finish. I struggle to get up after failing on my first attempt. My hands are shaking as I grab a few card off the ground, some stained with her blood. I read the words, not caring that they are out of order and it doesn't make sense. When I begin to repeat myself, Haymitch walk up to me and thanks the crowd before escorting me off the stage. He wraps his arms around me and holds me close as I break down.
"I did everything right." I gush.
"It wasn't your fault." he comforts me. It's a side I've never seen from him.
"She's dead. Because of me, she's dead." I sob. "I want to go home, Haymitch."
"You can't sweetheart, not yet. Just a few more days and you'll have fulfilled your duties." His words are another reminder that my life is not my own. I belong to Snow and the Capitol. They control my life, my every move. I wonder if I'll ever truly be free.
Effie approaches us and informs us that a train has been arranged to take us to District 3 within the hour. We take a car to the station and make our way to our train car. Haymitch escorts me to the bed in my cabin. He pulls a needle out of his pocket and injects it into my arm.
"This will relax you. Take your mind off it." he gently tells me. The drugs take effect fairly quickly and everything goes to black.
The only thing that gets me through my visit to District 3 is the hope that I'll see Merrick in District 2. He managed to make it to the last gala I was a part of after my first Hunger Games win. I could really use a familiar face at this point. Everyone I'm close to is thousands of miles away. I manage to make it through my speech with piercing glares from both Brutus' and Enobaria's families. I'm sure they are all wishing for my demise.
There isn't much time to think about that after the ceremony ends. I'm whisked away by Effie and brought to my prep team to prepare me for the gala that evening. They dress me in a huge ball gown that is difficult for me to move in. I wish for Cinna to be with me. He'd never put me in something like this.
The gala follows the same format as last time: dinner first, then talking and dancing with citizens of District 2. I yearn for Peeta in his absence. He made last time so much more bearable. He knew exactly how to guide the conversations, something I know nothing about. On the plus side, people tire of me after a few minutes and slip away. I find myself scanning the room every few minutes looking for Merrick's warm smile. I haven't found him so far.
"Careful, sweetheart. You're going to give yourself whiplash." Haymitch mutters with a brief laugh as he stands beside me.
"How much longer do I have?" I ask him.
"About an hour." he tells me. I've lasted this long. An hour more isn't too bad. It's also not a lot of time to find him.
"I'm going to get some air." I tell Haymitch.
"I'll come with you." he offers.
"No…I want to be alone." I insist. Merrick might be waiting for a more private place to reveal himself. Haymitch looks concerned about me going by myself but I assure him that I'll be alright. I move through the crowd, getting stopped a few times by people wanting a word or photo with me. I exit the French doors out onto an empty balcony. I look out onto the gardens below as I wait for him. Minutes pass without him appearing. Then, I hear the doors open behind me and I quickly spin around. I am disappointed with I see it's Effie.
"Oh there you are! What are you doing out here in this cold! You're freezing!" she says touching my bare arms. "Time to go upstairs." Disappointment fills me when I realize that he's not coming. Unless…unless he's waiting for me in my room. It wouldn't be the first time if he were. I allow Effie to escort me back to my room and say goodbye to her in the hallway. I wait for her to walk away before opening my door. I put my hand on the doorknob and close my eyes, making a wish that he'll be there, sitting in some sort of tent he constructed with materials in my room. I hold my breath as I turn the knob and push the door open. The room is empty apart from the furniture and my suitcase. My legs give out and I crumple to the floor standing between the hallway and my room. The crying starts and I bury my face in my hands to control the sound of my weeping. I'm not sure how much time passes before I feel arms wrapping around me, the smell of booze in the air.
"Come on, up we go sweetheart." Haymitch says as he helps me to stand. He leads me into the room and helps me into my pajamas. I'm too numb to care about him seeing me. It doesn't matter. He helps me into bed and whispers some words of encouragement before leaving me.
Thoughts of Merrick still swirl through my head. He must not care about me anymore. He must have moved on, probably found a good job and a pretty girl to be with. I then feel the guilt sink in. Why should I be so bitter about it? Haven't I done the same thing? I've moved on. I'm with Gale now. The guilt grows when I think of Gale and how hurt he'd be with me for wanting Merrick. As hard as this night has been, it has also lets me see that it's time to put Merrick into my past. There will be no more surprise visits from him. If he can't even come to see me in his home district, I have little faith that he'd be able or willing to come visit me in mine. That last goodbye was real and something about is unsettling.
I vow to forget about him, to forget everything about us. I'll forget every word he ever said to me, every kiss that ever touched my lips, every intimate moment we shared. I'll have a new life now with a boy that I know will never leave me, a boy that has a love for me that is unmatched. I will start a new life with Gale.
I know this chapter is a little depressing, but on a positive note, Merrick will be back next chapter. Any predictions about how he'll reappear to Katniss?