Mama" said Robb, quietly.
"Yes, love?" said Catelyn with a smile. Her boy had grown these past few years, and it filled her heart with joy to hear him speak more and more.
"Outside" he said. "Snow, please".
"You want to play outside?" But there's no snow now my love. Not for a while."
"Not snow. Outside with Snow. With Jon".
She tried hard not to falter her smile. She had quietly hoped that Robb wouldn't grow too fond of Ned's bastard. She had promised Ned she'd do nothing to influence her son against him but she still held out hope that Ned would choose to send the boy away. Some guilt stung her at the thought, but the boy would be provided for. Looked after, simply away from Ned, from Robb.
From me, she thought. Since the moment Ned showed her that black haired babe, whom already looked so much like her husband, unlike hwr own babe, she prayed that Ned would cone to senses. That he'd send the boy back to his mother, this faceless woman who enraptured her husband. But now that Robb loved his half brother too much for Ned to let him go. She had no love for the bastard and never will. But Robb did now and she would do nothing to hurt her son. She'd tolerate the bastard, difficult as it was, for Robb's sake in not for Ned. So she smiled broadly. Perhaps one day Robb will see the smile was false, but not today.
"Of course. Go find Sno... Jon and bring him to the courtyard. I'll go see if your father can come with us."
Robb run excitedly towards the bastard's room while she went into Ned's solar.
"My lord, I'm taking Robb out to play and I wonder if you would join us?" she said.
Ned looked up from his desk. His eyes were sad. The boy had always been a wedge between them. They're marriage was made out of duty, not love, at least not yet, but the boy's constant presence made it so much more difficult to establish a true bond between them.
"I'm got some things to do, Cat, maybe next time..."
"Your bastard will be there too" she said beggingly. Ned signed. He knew she didn't want to be left alone with him, even in Robb's company. The boys will be able to play on their own in a few years and she won't have to suffer the boy.
"Very well, Cat. Let's go find them."
Ned got up and they went to find Robb and the boy already waiting for them in the courtyard. The boy had a smile for Ned but avoided Cat's gaze as always and she was glad for it. His grey eyes were so much like Ned's and it hurt to think how much a baseborn looks more like her husband than her trueborn.
She was soon glad to have brought Ned because Robb soon shoved the boy a little too hard and he falls on the ground. Robb stood over him crying out apologies while the boy weeped over a cut knee. Ned gently picked the boy up and took him to Maester Luwin. Catelyn picked up Robb as he continued crying.
"I didn't mean to, Mama".
"Mama" cried the boy, weeping into Ned's shoulder. "I want my mama. Where's my mama?"
She could hear Ned sign. She wondered whether he would ever tell the boy his mother's name. Who she was, and where she came from. Ned would not tell her, the one person, apart from the boy perhaps, whom had the right to know. What did this woman have to make Ned forget his honor for even a moment? Why couldn't Ned leave the boy with her? Perhaps she didn't want him. Perhaps she would have given him away or left him on the cold empty road. Did it matter? The boy was here and wasn't going away.
She looked at the boy's weeping face and for a moment felt an overwhelming sense of pity that the image of the faceless woman brought forth more contempt. Sometimes she found herself hating him, she would feel guilty later, the boy was not to blame. But he was a symbol, an eternal reminder of the one time Ned Stark was dishonorable.
Let it get easier, she prayed to her gods. Let it be easier to hate him when he grows up so I don't have to feel guilty for having a motherless child.
King's Landing
Jaime was bored. The Stag was downing another cup of wine as he laughed and joked with those idiot Lords, once again boasting about how he killed Rheagar Targaryen.
"That damn dragonspawn didn't even know what had happened when I smashed my hammer right into him" the Stag laughed.
Jaime winced at the word. Dragonspawn. He remembered the bodies. The blood. The scent of death. Elia, Rheanys, Aegon. "Dragonsoawn" the Stag hissed.
"Kingslayer! I'm talking to you!" the Stag's voice boomed. Jaime shook himself out of the memory.
"Your Grace?" he asked masking the hate in his voice as he turned from the window he had been staring out of.
"Ah, back in the land of the living, are we? When you're done admiring the view, go to the gardens and check on my wife and the babes. Feel free to stay there, you're no use to me when your day dreaming Kingslayer."
He bowed and left the hall with a sense of liberation. Watching the Stag was tiring, he was like a child, a bratty child that left all his duties up to that old falcon Jon Arryn. He drunk and ate and then drunk again, then he fucked whichever female servant was the nearest. He would have been more tolerable than the Mad King if not fir the fact that his wife was Cersei.
The thought of his sister brightened him. She had been bitter to whom after Joanna was born, but it all went away when she told him she was pregnant again not three months after the little Stag's birth.
"Its yours, I know it, I know it"
There was no doubt about it when the boy was born. He was all Lannister, not a speck of Baratheon unlike his half sister. Robert the idiot was overjoyed.
"My boy, he called. My heir!"
But he quickly grew bored with him and left him to Cersei, going back to his favorite three things: Feasts, hunts, whores.
Cersei adored the boy. She only looked like a mother when she held him. It was never like that when she held Joanna. It seemed so enforced. So false. He wondered how no one could see that.
He could see it when he saw them in the gardens. Joffrey was on Cersei's lap by the table eaing while the girl sat learning to read from her little book far from them. She learned to speak at an almost unnatural speed, and reading seemed to come naturally. Joff seemed no where bear ready. She was nearly a year older than Joff, but he was already taller and broader. The girl herself was quite slim and short. She seemed to take more after her mother with age, though he could see the Baratheon clearly.
Cersei smiled when she saw him.
"Brother, come join us" she said, motioning to the seat next to her's.
"Its better if I stand, sweet sister, my duty to is to protect you, not dine with you."
She sneered at him. Gods, woman, must you be so hateful?
"Play, Mama" said Joff in his demanding voice. The sneer vanished and she looked at him warmly. Joanna raised her head from the book and envy lit up in her eyes. Cersei had never looked at her that way, not once. Joanna caught Jaime's eyes and looked down.
He found himself pitying the girl. As far as the world was concerned, Joff had a Stag for a father as much as she did, but he was Cersei's cub. To be adored and cherished. Joanna only get the most basic maternal affection. The most basic compliment. He detested that the drunk Stag made her, but she's from Cersei too. Jaime sometimes thought to speak to Cersei, to remind her that Joanna is of her as well. But she would take it as him siding with their father, with Robert. The thought of losing her was too much. Far too much.
Joff skipped from his mother's knees and walked over to his sister. He snatched the book out of her hands.
"Oi! That's mine, Joffrey" she said. "Give it back. Please". Joanna often used those words. "Please" and "Thank you" were her most frequently used words. Where she learned that Jaime had no idea.
Joffrey grinned. "I'm the prince! It's mine." He began ripping the pages out.
"Joffrey!" cried Joanna, tears in her eyes. "Joffrey, no!" She tried to get the book out of his hands and he shoved her, hard. She fell down on her back and hit her arm.
"Ow!" she cried, her face red. "Mama".
Jaime got to them faster than Cersei. He examined her arm.
"Just a sprain, Princess" he said, trying to sound soothing.
"Clumsy, aren't you Joanna" said Cersei, taking Joffrey's hand.
"Yes. Clumsy." Joffrey said with the same grin.
"Lets get you to your room, Joffrey. Brother take care of Joanna with you".
Cersei walked away with Joff, their guards flanking behind.
"How unfortunate" a voice said and Jaime turned to see Tyrion come to the girl. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder, sympathy in his eyes. "You run along, dear brother, I'll take her to the Maester."
Jaime nodded as Tyrion helped the girl to her feet.
"My book" she said quietly.
"Ah, I'll find you a better one" said Tyrion. "You're too smart for that one. Would you like to come watch the pages spar later?"
"Yes, uncle" said Joanna quietly. They walked off. Jaime was glad for his brother. He had taken to Joanna quite well, in a sharp contrast to Joffrey, whom already thought his uncle the monster his mother had called him.
What will grow out of the boy? he thought. My boy...