King's Landing

The day after the welcome feast, her grandfather offered her father an official tour of Casterly Rock. King Robert accepted out of courtesy, and made his boredom clear as they made their way across the cliffside.

"How do you live with this racket" he groaned as the sound of the waves hitting the rocks.

Joanna signed at her father. The man seemed to only be alive on hunts. She was walking along with her mother, feeling her brother's cold glares behind her. She needed to avoid him. The last time he had stared at her like that he nearly broke her wrist with a sparring sword and said he was only playfighting.

"I am happy to say Casterly Rock thrives your Grace" said Grandfather Tywin. No smile appeared on his face, but Joanna could sense a prideful edge in his voice.

"Yes, I suppose" said the King, uninterested. "I trust you put much coin into the tourney tomorrow, Lannister. If I'm bored I'll have your head" he said with a laugh.

If Tywin Lannister felt any fear or offence, he had it well. Cersei Lannister on the other hand burned with contempt. She stared at her husband, her eyes deadly like a wild felines.

"The tourney will suffice, your Grace. I assure you that our finest will sure their quality."

"They better, I'll want to know that the Knights in my service perform to my highest expectations."

Sadly, the king would be almost certainly be too drunk to remember by the time half the duels were done. Joanna knew he'd drink himself into an early grave one day, abd she dreaded the day Joffery was the king. She could only pray that he changed by than that time. She prayed to the Mother to give him kindness and to the Crone to make him wise, but the gods never heard her prayers.

Her brother then asked if they could play by the cliffside while the rest of their entourage visited the city.

"Away with you then" said the King, barely looking at them. "Play nice with your sister now".

The Queen insisted that Ser Jaime stayed to watch the prince, and the King agreed, leaving them with another Kingsguard.

"Be careful around the cliffs, my love" the Queen told Joffrey.

"I will, Mother" said Joffrey, wearing his most charming smile that made Joanna's skin crawl. The Queen left without another word. Joanna desperately wished Uncle Tyrion was here, he seemed to know how to pacify Joffrey. Joanna didn't. She was at least glad Uncle Jaime was here, Joffrey never did anything more than mock her.

Joffrey waited until the entourage was out of side then turned to her with a smile.

"Apologize" he said.

"Joff?" she asked, slightly fearful. She looked to the Kingsguard, whom looked like they had expected this. She saw traces of pity in his eyes and felt some comfort.

"Apologize for your insulting me" Joffrey said. "You have japed at my expense and I demand you apologize to your Prince."

The look in his eyes was like a lion ready to pounce. Whatever courage Joanna had felt last night was gone and sge felt herself shiver. Her brother had hurt her before, but she had never seen him look at her with such malice. She dhok as she spoke.

"I'm sorry, brother"

"Your Grace!"

"I'm sorry, your Grace!"

The smile returned, but his eyes were still venomous.

"Good. Now you need to be punished."

"Punished?" she whispered.

"Hold out your hand" he said as he knelt down to pick a big rock from the ground.

"Your Grace" whispered Uncle Jaime. "Please..."

"Shut up, Kingslayer!" roared Joffrey, turning back to Joanna.

"Joff..."

"Hold out your hand!"

"No!"

"I said..."

But she was already fleeing.

"Come back here!" He shouted. She could hear him running after her.

"Your Grace!" called Jaime, running after Joffrey. The rock flew right past Joanna's head and she stumbled. He was nearly on her by the time she regained her footing. But Jaime reached them and was trying to pull Joffrey back.

"Let me go, Kingslayer!" Joanna was running again, tears in her eyes. Her heart was racing and her vision blared. She could hear Joffrey slip from Jaime's grasp and run after her again.

"Stop!" Jaime yelled. "Joanna, no!"

The shout seemed go bring her back to her senses and she stopped short, letting out a loyd gasp as she realised she had stopped just of the edge of the cliff. The waves splashed against the Rocks below.

"Oh" she breathed out, some relief sweeping over her.

But then she felt Joffrey bump into her back. Uncle Jaime's scream cut through the air as she fell.

Winterfell

Promise me, Ned.

Those words rung through his head as run towards Maester Luwin's office. Jon's face was getting more and more sweaty by the minute. He can't die, Ned thought desperately. Please no...

"Luwin!" he cried as he burst through the door.

"My lord?" whispered the Maester, rising from his desk as took in the sight. "Whst happened"

"He was sparring, he just fell. Robb says he seemed ill all day. I don't know..."

"Place him on the bed" said Luwin. Ned gently put Jon on the bed as the Maester examined him. Robb arrived not far behind him. "How is he father!" cried the boy. He was shaking with tears.

"I don't know, son" whispered Ned, holding back his own tears. He went outside with Robb to give the Maester space. Ned knew Robb loved Jon like a true brother, he WAS his true brother, no matter what woman birthed him, no matter what man sired him...

Cat came next, barely managing to hold back Arya from running into the room.

"What's wrong, Papa!" she cried. "What's wrong Jon?"

"He'll be alright, my dear" he said, soothing her with promises he had no right to make. Brandon was crying in Cat's arms, she eventually took him to their chambers. Ned noticed a strange look in Cat's blue eyes, one he had never seen in them before. He knew she never loved Jon. He knew she barely tolerated him, and even though she stopped trying to convince him to send him away, especially after Arya's birth. He had expected it, expected even worse and was grateful that she never truly mistreated him, but was saddened to see Jon's eyes whenever Cat smiled at their children, whenever she hugged or comforted them, deprived of even the most basic maternal love.

The Maester emerged soon afterwards, a sad look in his eyes. "The pox i'm afraid, my lord"

"The pox..." Ned whispered. "Is he.."

"He has a fever. Perhaps its best we move him to his room then discuss this". He looked at the children. Ned's heart sank. Jon's condition was serious and the children shouldn't hear whatever Luwin had to say. Gods, no, please no.

They moved Jon his room as requested. The boy looked horrible. His fever was very high, Ned shuddered to touch him due to how hot he was. He mumbled in his sleep as his breath wheezed.

"If he survives the night, he will live, my lord. But it will be a very long night" said Luwin gravely.

Ned wanted to collapse, to weep, but he allowed himself only a sigh in front of the Maester.

"May you leave us?" he asked.

The Maester nodded. "My lord". He walked over to tge door, leaving Ned kneeling by the bed. "My lady" the Maester said.

Ned turned to see Ned leave Cat by the door. She stared at him as he knelt by the bed. Sansa appeared behind her.

"I just wanted to wish him to get better" said the girl in a neutral voice. Ned signed. Sansa sadly took Cat's lead and stayed away from Jon most of the time. She even called him "bastard" once, but Ned had interfered and luckily this never happened again.

Sansa left quickly, giving Jon one last look. By then, Ned couldn't keep back the tears longer. They fell in deep sobs as he wept. Cat's hand appeared on his shoulder and he allowed her to embrace him as he shook.

Three hours passed until Cat implored Ned to rest.

"I can't leave him".

"I'll stay with him" she said softly.

"Cat, you dont have to..."

"Go. I'll look after him, I promise" she said in a surer voice than he had ever heard. Squeezing Jon's hand one last time, he went to the door. An eagle rested on the window. It stared at him then flew away quietly.

As he crossed the corridor, he heard the sounds of crying. Sansa sat by a window, weeping. She looked at her father, red faced. The sight moved him, and he took her in his arms as she cried. He took her to her room and waited until she finally slept. He visited his other children. Robb was restless. He kept enquiring about Jon until Ned calmed him enough for his sleep. Arya slept with her eyes wet, while Bran fussed in Old Nan's arms as he cried. The woman assured him he could leave the boy in her care.

"And don't worry about young Jon" she said with a small smile. "He has a strong bloodline, he will live."

Ned could only hope she was right. Cat had wished he went to his room to rest, but instead he made off to the Godswood. He found knelt to the Wierwood tree and knelt, putting his hand on the tree to pray.

He knew he had failed Jon. He had given a half life, a bastard life, he thought it was necessary at the time. That Jon was lucky enough as it is, to go unnoticed by Robert and his men, by the man who murdered Jon's own kin. But he protected him from those people, but not from the shame of bastardy. He could have told Cat. He could have trusted his wife and told her Jon was no stain on her honor, no fruit of a betrayal that never happened. She would have lived him like her own, Sansa would not have felt the need to hide her grief from her own mother.

He had allowed Jon to grow up with a hole in his life, a hole left by Lyanna's death, a he knew Cat would have gladly filled if only he trusted his wife. Instead, he betrayed both his wife and his sister. He broke his promise to Lyanna and now the gods have punished Jon for his mistakes.

"Lya, forgive me" he begged. "Gods spare him. I will confess everything Catelyn. I'll tell Jon who he is. Who he truly is. I will let him know he is loved and cherished like he is my own. I will do everything I can to make sure Maekar Targaryen is happy despite the badge of shame I placed on him. Just give him back to me. My sister's boy. MY boy...

He stood by the tree for what seemed like an eternity. He cared not for how much time had passed. He only prayed that his son will live. He almost screamed when felt the hand on his shoulder.

"Cat?" he asked with a shiver, he had forgotten how cold it was. He looked up and his heart skipped a beat.

"Ben?" he asked. He stared up at his younger brother, whom had a solemn look on his Northern face.

"Hello, brother" he said, his voice even.

"What are... Gods, I forgot".

Robb's nameday was in a week's time and he had invited Benjen to come, he had not told the children to have a surprise at Cat's suggestion.

"I just got here, they told me about Jon at the gates. I sat by him for an hour or so while Catelyn slept."

"She's still by his side?"

"Aye, she's praying to her gods for him".

Ned was surprised. Cat had never shown so much concern for any child that was not her's let alone Jon. Perhaps she felt guilty. That's my fault too, he thought.

Benjen prayed with him for an while, before he told Ned they should get back to the castle.

"You'll catch something too if stay here any longer".

They made their way to the castle. At the gates, Joey approached them, and Ned feared the worst. Then Jory smiled.

"My lord, he's awake".

Ned felt heart fall. Relief flooded him as he heard Benjen sign in relief. They went to his room and found Catelyn exiting, great relief on her tired face. She nodded to them within made for her chambers to finally rest.

They entered the room and Ned saw Jon smile weakly at them. It was Lyanna's smile. Among the warm and love he felt, he felt dread. He knew he couldn't keep his promise.

Lyanna, please forgive me.

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