After the weekend ended, Sam and Miles had to go back to Tranquility and return to their regular school schedule. Barricade was left behind at base, while Bumblebee escorted the teenagers home, even helping them with their homework when they took to complaining too much about it. During that time Miles continued to text Barricade, but it was the first weekend of October before they had a chance to go back. Despite knowing that Optimus had been joking about him being the liaison between them and Barricade, Miles was turning into just that fairly quickly. He'd gotten a number of texts from the Prime and Ratchet about the 'con. He'd likewise gotten quite a few texts from Barricade asking for suggestions on what to do or say about some things.
As soon as Bumblebee dropped them off on base he hightailed it to the Prime's office.
"Hey, big O, how'd Barry behave while we were gone?" Miles asked, just walking in the human sized door to his office.
He was surprised to see another mech there that he'd yet to meet. This one looked similar to Barricade in that it was obvious a cop car was his alt mode, although he was more white than black compared to the Decepticon Neutral. He also had blue optics, a slimmer frame, and doorwings much like Bumblebee's. Miles guessed he was probably taller, too.
"Oh, shit, sorry, I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"
"Not at all," Optimus replied with amusement. "Miles, this is my Second in Command, Prowl. He's the Tactician and one of the largest reasons I'm able to stay sane with everything that my mechs get up to. He was off in a few meetings in DC when you were here last, but he's already been briefed on you."
"Oh," Miles said, grinning at Prowl. "Nice to meet you."
"The feeling is mutual, Civilian Miles Lancaster." Prowl responded politely, before he turned back to his Prime. "I'll inform you more of the plans later, then."
Optimus nodded, and Miles remained silent while Prowl left the room. The SIC did seem very polite, but that was all he seemed. His voice was so monotone that the teen had been unable to pick up any emotions from him and his faceplates had been expressionless. He'd thought Barricade had been bad at first, but the 'con had nothing on this mech.
"He's a bit..." Miles said, trailing off on purpose once he thought Prowl was out of ear shot.
"Most of the humans think like that," Optimus responded. "He wants me to act more like him. Thinks it improper for a leader to show as much emotion as I do."
"Really?" Miles grimaced at the thought, "He just seemed really... robotic to me. Like you and the others I can get stuff from, relate to you, but he's on autopilot or something, man."
"I know," Optimus vented. "Ratchet and I were hoping that Earth might help him come out a bit more, but as of yet there has been no significant change. Perhaps you could work some magic on him, like you've done with Barricade."
Miles snorted, "Barry's got a stick up his ass, but that one's labeled anger. I can deal with that pretty easily. Ain't sure what Prowl's got up there."
"Fair enough, youngling." Optimus chuckled, "Now, to answer your question, I think Barricade has been doing fairly well. He's struck up a surprising friendship with Ironhide, and none of us know how that happened. We're thinking it had something to do with the twins not being seen since the day you and Barricade made up, though."
Miles grinned at Optimus' pointed stare, but the teen wasn't going to tell what had gone on between the three of them with Sunstreaker tied down. It wouldn't be until later, long after he'd finished his talk with the Prime and after he overheard Epps mentioning some mission, that he found out just what the plans Prowl had been talking about were. He was a bit more than surprised when he learned that the Autobots planned to bring back Jazz, who he loosely knew about and knew that the mech had been killed in battle.
According to Epps, they needed some Allspark shard to do it, and that location was top secret and very far away. Originally the government had the Allspark shard, and Prowl had been in DC recently to convince them to give it up to the Autobots nearby so that they could do what they needed to with it. After they got the shard, along with the Autobots who were with it, Jazz's body would be retrieved and he would be brought back with them so that Ratchet could go about getting the Saboteur up and moving once more.
After he found out about it he spent an hour convincing Optimus Prime to let him go on the mission. He'd had to rope Epps in with him, promising the Sergeant that he'd owe him one later, but even with the older man's help it still took the Prime awhile to agree. That was when they found out that the Autobots that had the shard had picked up Decepticon activity near them, and that was why the mission was suddenly being put into motion. There was no guarantee that they would see any Decepticons, though, and it was with that argument and Epps' promise to watch out for him that Optimus agreed to let Miles go.
He had many reasons for wanting to go. One of the biggest was that if he made himself irreplaceable then he made Barricade's place on base safer. But he couldn't lie to himself and say he also didn't want to go because it sounded like an adventure but a safe one. A controlled adventure that would give him a taste of the Autobots and the war they were still fighting. It would help him decide whether he wanted to continue on with them or Barricade or leave them all behind, because he had his mother and father to think after as well.
That evening they announced the NEST members and Autobots that would be going. Optimus read off the list, having gathered everyone into the rec-room.
"The Autobots going are Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, Ironhide, and Prowl." The Prime paused as these Autobots nodded, before continuing. "The humans that are going are Captain Will Lennox, Sergeant Robert Epps, Jorge "Fig" Figueroa, and civilian Miles Lancaster. They will be packing and leaving within the week."
Many people were shocked when they heard Miles' named called, but no one openly said anything about it. Optimus called the people and 'bots going on the mission out of the room for a briefing, leaving everyone else alone in the rec-room. Sam looked at Barricade questioningly, figuring that since he had no idea that Miles was going then 'Barry' would. Barricade just glared at him. When Miles came back to them Sam practically pounced on his friend.
"Why are you going?" he asked, pulling Miles down on to the couch and holding his arm in case he tried to run.
"I volunteered." Miles replied, grinning slightly. The grin quickly faded when both Sam and Barricade gave him a look. "Well, what exactly do I do around here besides take up space? You defeated Megatron with the Allspark so you're covered, you did your part. But me? Nothin'. I doubt I'll be able to do much on this mission, accept maybe carry the shard while the others are fighting if the 'cons do come. Most likely I won't even get to do that though, right?"
"You don't have to do anything for the fragging Autobots." Barricade said, letting his holoform appear on the arm rest of the couch so the two teens didn't have to crane their necks to be polite.
"I don't have to." Miles agreed, glaring at Barricade. "But I want to."
Barricade glared right back, "You are making a foolish decision and putting yourself in danger. I knew you were stupid, but I didn't think you were this stupid."
Sam quickly got up off the couch, high tailing it over to Epps, Will, and Bumblebee. It was obvious to the four of them, the only ones still in the rec-room outside of Barricade and Miles, that the two were going to start fighting over the subject and that they were best left alone at this point.
"Twenty dollars says Miles gets pissed and doesn't talk to Barricade until we get back with Jazz!" Epps exclaimed, looking at both Will and Sam expectantly.
Sam sighed, glancing back at his friend. "Miles gets pissed, but still talks to Barricade before you guys leave."
"Well…" Will trailed off, thinking. The Captain realized that the teen and his Sergeant had already taken the good options, which didn't leave him with much. "Miles puts Barricade in his place during this argument and Barricade eventually apologizes because he realizes he was wrong."
They turned to watch the two more closely. Miles had pulled a couch pillow into his lap to squeeze, and Barricade had stood up try to get his point across better.
"So you're ordering me to stay here?" Miles asked, sounding surprisingly calm despite glaring at Barricade.
Barricade growled, "If it gets you to actually not act like the stupid inferior being you are, then yes!"
"Shit," Will groaned immediately. "I'm out."
"Well," Miles began, standing and tossing the pillow he'd been holding directly in Barricade's face. "It's just too damn bad that I don't take orders from oversized children posing as advanced robotic beings!"
With that, Miles stormed out of the room. Barricade's holoform dissolved, and he quickly made himself scarce as well. Will left the room muttering about stupid bets and not having enough money to keep making them.
"It's only a matter of time, now." Epps said, smirking.
Sam nodded, saying a rushed goodbye as he chased after Miles, and Bumblebee followed to go after Barricade instead.
As it turned out Epps ended up winning the bet. Miles didn't say a single word or even go into the same room as Barricade in the five day's that the mission team remained on base, getting prepared. Of course, the teen was actually going through a lot more briefing then any of the other humans, and barely even had time for Sam.
He was taught by Ironhide about a wide array of known weapon types that could possibly be used against him and what would be the best protection if he had to try to run from a round aimed at him, or whether he should forgo running altogether and just pray instead. Epps took him through multiple what-if scenarios and what he should do in response to each and every one of them. Because of that and the fight, Miles only told Sam to say goodbye to the 'stupid ass' for him before they left, cementing Sam's loss and making Epps give a silent victory dance behind the blonde.
The group set off in the early morning. Each human paired off with an Autobot to act as their driver. Miles got Prowl, Fig got Sunstreaker, Epps got Sideswipe, and Will got Ironhide. Most of the humans' weapons were in the back of Ironhide, covered by a tarp and in several boxes. While the Autobots did have their comm links, they switched to radio use for the humans. That way they could talk to, and be heard by the other humans and Autobots.
"Okay, does everyone remember the plan?" Prowl asked, ignoring Miles as he groaned and slumped down in the driver's seat.
"Of course we know the plan," Epps responded in an annoyed tone. "You've only gone over it about five thousand times now. Leave Nevada, head for Pennsylvania. Retrieve the Allspark shard. On the way back stop in Oklahoma for Jazz's body and to get First Aid and Inferno. If we do happen to get attacked by any Decepticons we pray to whatever religion we believe in, add Primus in there to cover all the bases, and cover our asses while you guys take care of them. This is planned to only take four days; we will be sleeping inside of you to save time."
Prowl remained silent as Sideswipe, Miles, and Sunstreaker openly snorted at the tone that Epps took with him.
"Look, Prowl, we haven't even left base yet." Epps pointed out, "It's good that you're making sure that we understand what we need to, but you're working all angles here to death, man. It's not the first rodeo for any of us here, outside of Miles, and even you were pleased with the preparation we put him through. You're giving me a migraine with all this work talk."
"If you get a migraine from simply going over the details of a plan perhaps this isn't the best line of work for you," Prowl replied simply.
"Oh you listen here you fucking-" Epps' voice was cut off, Sideswipe ending his side of the conversation so that the Sergeant couldn't pick a fight with the SIC.
Fig laughed, "Epps always has such bad language, even around Miles! My momma always used to say: las palabrotas llevan a un alma mala. ¡No hay neces-"
"English, Fig." Will cut in immediately.
Fig gave a deep sigh, and Miles openly grinned, knowing he wouldn't be seen in Prowl's interior. He hadn't spent much time around the southern man, but he'd already picked up on the fact that Will and Epps weren't too appreciative of his Spanish usage. That and he was called joven a lot for some reason.
"¿No aprecian los norteamericanos su español que habla herencia?" Sunstreaker asked innocently.
Fig laughed happily, "Estoy seguro que no es eso. ¡Will y Epps ambos tomaron algún español, yo acabo de adorar para molestarlos consigo porque ellos nunca lo podrían retener!"
Sunstreaker laughed, and Sideswipe rejoined the radio channel so that he could join in with his twin to talk to the soldier. Miles looked over to his left to see Will's face, then in the rear-view mirror so that he could catch Epps'. Both men looked like they were becoming gradually more and more horrified as they realized that now Fig would have people to talk to who enjoyed using Spanish to annoy others almost as much as he did. Epps banged his head off the steering wheel while Will groaned, putting his face in his hands. The teen just snickered.
Epps waited until they stopped for dinner and everyone else to go inside before going over to Prowl and knocking on the SIC's driver side door. It popped open without remark and he slid himself inside of it, taking a quick moment to look around and forgo the reason he'd come to the mech for that much longer.
"I wanted to apologize for how I sounded earlier," Epps said after a moment, looking at himself in the rear-view mirror so he wouldn't need to look anywhere else. "I do appreciate you making sure all of us know what's what, and that you just want us to be safe."
"I apologize for my reaction as well," Prowl responded softly. "Ratchet already informed myself and the rest of the Autobots here with us that you were becoming ill. I realize now that I was keeping you from sleeping as you had to listen to be respectful, and that your illness may have been why you reacted in such an unseemly manner."
Epps grinned a bit, "Couldn't not come after I promised boss 'bot that I'd watch over Miles."
"Do not worry, we will all watch over the youngling. It would hardly be beneficial to let him perish at this point."
Epps just forced a laugh and patted the steering wheel in a friendly gesture before letting himself out of Prowl. He would never tell the SIC to his face, or his insides, but that comment and ones like it were exactly why the organic side of NEST weren't exactly his biggest fans. The Sergeant realized that sometimes in war losses had to be allowed, but it wasn't comforting to hear things said so matter of factly.
He walked to the restaurant they had stopped at, entering it and looking around until he could find Will, Fig, and Miles. It was made easier when he heard Sunstreaker and Sideswipe's voices rise momentarily, and he went over to the table to see the nearly identical holoforms leaning over one menu and arguing over something on it. Will was looking at them as if he was ready to kill them, Fig was trapped in between the two and just looked amused, and Miles was sitting next to the Captain with a grin on his face. The teen quickly distracted the two from their fight by blowing his straw paper at one of them. Sideswipe quickly retaliated by stealing Fig's straw and just tossing it back at the teen, and Epps laughed as sugar packets started to be used as ammunition and took his own seat. If Prowl saw a future where any of the civilians on base were expendable, then he didn't want to help the mech make that future.
At the Autobot base in Nevada
Sarah Lennox knew that almost as soon as her husband and the others left that the base would be in a bit of a funk. She'd stayed there with Annabelle for just that reason, telling Will she'd take care of morale while he was off playing with the new Autobots. Her husband had laughed and not taken her that seriously, but he wasn't the one that would be left behind. With Ironhide, Prowl, Sunstreaker, and Sideswipe taking Miles, Epps, Fig, and her husband up to Pennsylvania it only left so many Cybertronians on base. What made it almost worse was that one of those was Barricade, who Ratchet assured her was completely safe to be around, but she knew would probably not do much to bring cheer to the base.
The morning after her husband and the others left the base was unusually quiet, something she had expected entirely. That was what happened when some of it's most crucial members up and left, after all. While Will, Fig, and Epps weren't the only soldiers to be there at the moment they were the ones who spent the most time with the Autobots, and three of the Autobots who spent the most time with humans were now missing, too. That was why she took it upon herself to plan an impromptu day of relaxation. She ordered Bumblebee to go pick up Sam's parents and Mikaela, and then she got Glen and a few other male soldiers she didn't know well to help her set up an outside cooking area. Bumblebee was sent a long grocery list of hot dogs, burgers, buns, and so it took the Scout a bit longer than usual to return to base with his elected cargo.
By that afternoon Bumblebee was back and Sarah had sent out a base-wide invitation to the cook out. Judy had helped Bumblebee unload everything and then had helped Sarah get everything set up, even prepping the grills with Glen. With how the little area had been set up, all the Cybertronians that did want to join had to park their alt modes nearby and walk to the set up in their holoforms, as there just wasn't enough room to move around the picnic area in their bipedal modes.
Optimus and Ratchet were the first Autobots to appear, and Sarah greeted them enthusiastically. Ratchet went and sat at a table with Maggie, instantly striking up a conversation with the young woman, while the Prime made his way over to Glen and Judy to see if there was anything he could do to help. It didn't take long for Bumblebee to arrive in his own holoform, his two teens flanking him on either side, and all three appeared to be talking about something, but it was who appeared behind them that really surprised her. Barricade trudged along in the three's wake, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but where he was now. Sarah couldn't hide her smile; she was quite certain that the poor Decepticon Neutral had probably been forced there by a well meaning Autobot and two brave teens.
Sarah greeted everyone and mech who showed up and made small talk with some of the soldiers she knew well. She went around and helped Judy and Glen give everyone their food and get them drinks that they could enjoy. Then she left for a few minutes to get the stereo that Will kept in his barracks room, carrying it all the way back to where they had set up the picnic area and making it play some music for everyone to enjoy. After that was done she stretched her arms above her head and looked around in satisfaction at everyone enjoying themselves. Even Barricade appeared to be somewhat relaxed, talking to Bumblebee and Ironhide.
"This was a good idea, Sarah."
Sarah put a hand to her chest, turning around quickly to find Optimus' holoform behind her. The Prime grinned sheepishly, and it was a stark contrast to the expressions he usually showed on his bipedal form. She'd noticed that he had started to relax more and show more emotion, but sometimes he'd still hide behind what Will called his battle mask, and she wondered just how effective he was at pushing anything he was feeling to the side for efficiency. She had a scary insight to the Prime, but only because her husband could be just like him.
"What did I tell you about letting me hear your footsteps?" Sarah asked, annoyed.
"Sorry," Optimus responded. "Slipped my mind."
"Don't let it happen again," Sarah warned him, but they both knew that it would. "And of course it was a good idea. With half the base gone we needed something to create a bit of unity."
"You would make a good morale officer," Optimus chuckled.
"Bumblebee and I," Sarah corrected, tilting her head in the Scout's direction.
Optimus turned to look at what she was referring to, and the Prime smiled. Bumblebee and Barricade were sitting side by side, and the Decepticon Neutral was actually laughing. Of course, this probably had to do with the fact that Mikaela looked about ready to kill Sam, but that hardly mattered.
"Pretty sure he only showed up because of Bee," Sarah further explained.
"Don't think the humans had anything to do with it?" Optimus questioned.
Sarah laughed, "I don't think he cares for those humans just yet. Not entirely sure he cares about Bumblebee that much, yet, either. A little birdie told me that our new 'con responds well to challenges, probably what Bumblebee did to get him here."
"You'll have to remind me of who your little birdie is."
"A woman never reveals all of her secrets, Optimus." Sarah grinned, "I have to be a step ahead with you and my husband being the ones in charge here."
The Prime gave her an unamused look, but Sarah knew better than to budge. Miles was and wasn't an obvious source of information; while the teen was getting on with all the Cybertronians he was more open with the humans by far, and Optimus would probably never take that into account initially, though she knew it may cross his mind eventually. So she directed the conversation to a safer topic for awhile before waving the Prime off so he could go talk to Ratchet.
All the humans ate what they wanted, and even Ratchet didn't complain too much about most of them drinking something caffeinated. When it started to get late Optimus, Ratchet, Sarah, Judy, and most of the other humans who had gathered outside at the picnic area to talk left to go inside. Even to Barricade it had been a relatively nice day. Ratchet and Optimus had both been more than pleasant, Bumblebee seemed willing to keep up an odd sort of rivalry, and none of the humans bothered him that much. It wasn't until all the others left and he stayed outside with Sam, Mikaela, and the Scout that he really even talked.
The teens kept themselves occupied by smuggling a bag of marshmallows the Scout had gladly hidden out of Sam's room, cooking them over the grills slowly as they star gazed. All of them kept the conversation lighthearted and Barricade noticed that any topic that included Miles was danced around for quite awhile. He knew that his relationship with that particular organic would come under fire at some point, he was just waiting for the Autodolt or Sam to bring it up, but it was Mikaela who surprised him.
"Y'know, I just don't get you and Miles." Mikaela said thoughtfully as she ate another marshmallow, "I know you two get on despite acting like you're fighting half the time; as far as I know there's only been two major fights between you."
Barricade just grunted, determined to avoid the conversation as long as possible, so Mikaela turned her attention to Sam. "I was actually surprised you trusted him so readily."
"It wasn't like I trusted Barricade, per say." Sam replied, glancing back at the 'con. "I trust Miles. Lord knows he doesn't always seem to have the brightest ideas, but neither do I, and I know he would never endanger me. And Miles was friends with Barricade, so that obviously meant something, considering he told me straight up that he was told everything. So it was like, I dunno, I just figured something must be behind that, or else Miles wouldn't bother."
"Or he's just stupid." Barricade offered, holoform leaning back in his chair.
"Oh please, you know you like him, Barry." Bumblebee teased, holoform wearing a smirk.
Mikaela cut Barricade off before he could protest, "You can go ahead and admit it. Miles will openly claim you as a friend. What's wrong with doing the same?"
"It implies that I am weak and need emotional bonds to sustain me." Barricade growled.
"Then you're weak and need emotional bonds to sustain you." Bee said, not intimidated by anything Barricade could or might try to do. "Means you fit perfectly here. All us 'bots are weak and need emotional bonds to sustain us!"
Barricade glowered at the Scout, but he kept himself from snapping something too offensive. He was smart enough to realize that truly pissing off Bumblebee would be a terrible idea, as the Scout was on his side now by an odd twist of fate, and he couldn't afford to upset the precarious balancing act everymech and a few humans were trying to perform for his stay there.
"Dear Primus," Barricade muttered after finally choosing what to say, "I'm doomed, aren't I?"
"You were doomed from the moment you let Miles know you were alive." Sam told him, wearing a smirk that nearly matched his Guardian's.
"I thought he might go running away," Barricade replied dryly, "It appears that he has an unusual reaction to shock. I think he might be glitched.
Sam laughed, "Nope, he's just Miles!"
Barricade studied the two teens, then took a small moment to read the Scout's holoform. His existence on the base was so far peaceful, especially after his and Miles' act of revenge on Sunstreaker with Ironhide, and he knew that they were all trying to find reasons to trust him. Likewise, he was trying to find reasons to trust them and they knew that. He supposed being honest and a bit open, even if the mere thought almost made his fuel tanks churn, was the best option to make them all a bit comfortable. After all, if they weren't distrustful and wary of him then he had less to worry about.
"Since I'm apparently so easy to read, I suppose I can say that the fleshling does have a certain amount of entertainment value despite being obnoxiously annoying." Barricade admitted grudgingly.
As much as it had pained him to do so, Barricade knew it had been the right choice when Bumblebee showed open surprise at what he said. The Autobots were vastly different from the Decepticons and he had to take that into account when dealing with them and earning a place among their ranks, whether he truly wanted one or not. He may have won at least a week's worth of support from Sam, too, if his face was anything to go by. It was only Mikaela who didn't look surprised or disgustingly pleased by what he'd said, the young woman only keeping her slightly amused expression.
"Guess it's a good thing that Miles knows it's easy to say things that hurt someone else when you're angry or scared for them," Mikaela said softly, and Barricade got the feeling that he was being admonished. "He'll be back soon and you two can go back to fake-fighting or whatever makes you the happiest."
"If he comes back, that is!" Sam replied cheerfully, shrinking in his seat a bit as Mikaela glared at him. "What, I was just joking! Primus!"
"Some of the strongest Autobot warriors are with him, including our top strategist," Bumblebee said placatingly, though whether it was to Barricade or Mikaela was hard to tell.
"Starscream was the last one here that I know of," Barricade said. "It's possible his trine may have come to help him."
Sam waved a hand at them dismissively, "I'm sure everything will be fine. Megatron's still dead at the bottom of the sea so it's not like they're gonna face him."
"If anything they'll be the ones to kill each other," Mikaela said jokingly.
The Allspark shard retrieval group: Somewhere in Pennsylvania
The mission group was lucky that they had Prowl with them. Thanks to the Autobot's police car alt mode they quickly got through any annoying traffic that they ran into; they made great time to Pennsylvania and were even ahead of the SIC's schedule when they reached the state early on the second day.
The only things they stopped for were food and bathroom breaks and even that didn't take long once Will started demanding they eat in the Autobots so Sideswipe and Sunstreaker would stop coming into the restaurants with them. If they continued on like they were and didn't run into any Decepticon trouble in the mountains then they'd arrive at Oklahoma early on the third morning, and have some time to relax.
Before they spent the next however long trekking into the mountains, Prowl had the entire group stop at a small mini-mart so the humans could stock up on food and relieve themselves if they needed to. It was there that Miles bought a small black hair dryer and dark sunglasses. As he had promised Optimus, Epps had been keeping a good eye on Miles. He'd also bought some sinus medicine after dinner the first day so that he wouldn't have to suffer on the trip and Sideswipe had stayed noticeably silent as he'd taken it.
Epps looked at the teen curiously as he left the mini-mart, "What are those for?"
Miles just grinned, putting the shades on and holding the hair dryer like a cop would hold a radar gun at passing cars. Epps just laughed, watching Miles trek back to Prowl and slowly climb inside of Prowl. Already he could hear the SIC and the teen arguing about whether he could actually use the sunglasses and radar to scare passing humans.
They left the mini-mart and for nearly half an hour the only thing that was broadcasted over the Autobot's connected radio channel was Prowl and Miles arguing quietly.
"Maybe Barricade will let you use them while riding inside of him when we get back," Will suggested, comfortable in his own Guardian and just listening in with amusement like most of the others were.
For a moment there was only silence and all of the soldiers wondered if the teen actually realized that it was unlikely that Barricade would be let off base any time soon so that he could do so, but Miles finally spoke up.
"I've been banned from anything cop related inside of him," the teen muttered.
"What did you do?" Epps asked, relaxing in Sideswipe and not even bothering to pretend to drive as he played a game on his phone.
"He has a police radio, right? So he can listen to transmissions and such if he's bored. Basically he just likes to spy, but that's besides the point. He'll actually occasionally pose as an officer and give out helpful information, which I think is my fault after I got him into some of those murder mystery shows," Miles trailed off as he realized he'd gone on a tangent, clearing his throat. "So, anyway, I asked if I could say ten-four. When he said no I asked if I could say roger, over and out, and anything else I could think of. He said I couldn't say anything."
"And you actually listened to him, joven?" Fig asked from inside Sideswipe; like Epps he wasn't bothering to pretend to drive either, instead enjoying a coffee and reading a novel.
"Well…" Miles began, pausing as he thought over whether to tell them or not. "I kind of did. I started using morse code on his dashboard. He didn't catch on for awhile, and I had almost finished ten-four when he figured it out. He started to snap at me but I pointed out I didn't technically say anything. He pointed out that he was a living being and not a car by waiting until I had gotten out and then making me chase him for a mile before he let me back inside."
"Please do not do that to me, Civilian Miles Lancaster." Prowl asked politely, leading the way with his sirens off as it was still dark out and there wasn't much traffic. He had to speak louder than usual to be heard over Sideswipe's and Epps' laughter.
Miles patted Prowl's dashboard, "Don't worry, I don't think you could take it."
All the mechs and humans laughed at that. Prowl wasn't sure whether he should feel relieved or offended by that statement. After a moment he decided to go with relieved, seeing as he could already imagine the young organic inside of him tripping the glitch in his logic processor and offlining him for awhile. They all stayed silent for a bit, except for Sunstreaker and Fig, who were talking in Spanish quietly to each other. Nearly an hour passed before Miles got bored enough to start asking questions.
Miles yawned, "So, where exactly is the Allspark shard? I mean what kind of government building is it going to be in?"
"Actually, the shard is not in a building, it's-" Prowl began, getting ready to explain more thoroughly, only to be interrupted by Ironhide.
"It's with one of our best scientists, Wheeljack, and Trailbreaker, who works as a defensive strategist. He can make force fields." Ironhide cut in quickly, "They're in an area of the Appalachian mountains. That's if Wheeljack hasn't managed to blow himself, the forest, and the shard up first."
Prowl made a sound like clearing his throat to make sure no one else would cut him off, "The facility it used to be in was located in Pennsylvania and Wheeljack and Trailbreaker had been stationed in the state secretly. We've suspected that Decepticons might pick up on it, or that we would eventually wear down your government and get possession of what is ours once more, so none of you organics have ever met those particular Autobots."
"Cool." Miles replied for lack of anything better to say.
"I do not understand," Prowl replied instantly, "Are you chilly?"
Sideswipe nearly swerved into Sunstreaker, quickly going off the road as his twin yelled at him to watch the paint. His entire frame was shaking with laughter. Epps, Fig, and even Will weren't much better off.
"You have a lot to learn, young grass hopper." Miles laughed, patting Prowl's dashboard once more.
"I am older than you, and I am not an insect of this planet." Prowl responded, his tone unusually emotional as he sounded nothing but annoyed.
Ironhide was barely heard through the radio as he muttered to himself, "Dear Primus, he won't survive on this planet."
"Look up the definition of 'cool' on the internet, Prowl." Will told him, but only after taking a moment to collect himself. "Many phrases humans use have more than one meaning. Might as well search for 'young grass hopper' while you're at it."
"Affirmative."
That was the last thing Prowl said for the next few hours, searching the internet to prepare himself for any other strange human customs. Ironhide suggested that the humans try to get some sleep while they still could; the would be arriving at their destination in a few hours and as none of them were sure what was going to happen it was best for them to be rested. Only Fig stayed up initially, the coffee in his body enough to keep him wired and talking to Sunstreaker and Sideswipe through the twin's private channel instead.