Chapter 7

I wake to a blinding light in my eyes and I blink a few times. Am I dead. "Ciel thank God!" I hear a voice say. I turn to see Sebastian look at me with relief and sadness.

"Where am I?" I ask.

"The hospital. I got worried when you didn't answer so I asked my friend Will to check on you and he found you in the bathroom with your wrist cut. He rushed you to the hospital and called me to tell me what happened. Ciel why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" he says as he takes my hand and I see the white gauze wrapped around my wrist. I'm sure the other hand is the same way.

"I didn't plan it I just did it. I felt so disgusted and hurt that I just wanted it to go away. I just wanted the pain to go away. I'm sorry if I scared you." I say as I look away from him.

"I know and I'm sorry. They arrested him the day it happened and charged him with rape. He of courses pleaded no guilty and the trail date is set. You will need to testify on what he did to you. I worry this may be too much for you. I don't want to lose you and I'm sorry this all happen to you." He says. I just nod.

"I'll do it if you tell them what he did to you when you were kids." I say. He looks at me for a minute wide eyed.

"But then my parents will know what he did." He says.

"Sebastian, he has a sick twisted obsession with you and wanting to hurt you in anyway. I mean he hurt me just to get to you. The need to know how dangerous he is." I say and take my hand from his to place it on his cheek. He nods.

"Fine. If it gets you to testify than I will go to the detectives and tell them everything he did to me when we were kids." He says in defeat.

"Good." I say and he kisses my hand.

"I love you and I told them that you don't need to be sent to a psych hospital and you will do outpatient therapy. You have to agree or you will be forced into a seventy-two hour suicide watch on the psych ward." He says.

"Okay I'll go to a therapist and I'll get help." I agreed to it. He sighs with relief and leans up to kiss me.

Chapter 8

"I think I am ready to go back to school." I say as I lay along Sebastian's body in our bed. He got a new couch in the living room since it is where it happened and he wanted me to try and forget it, well not forget but move on from it.

"Are you sure?" He asks as he rubs my back.

"Yeah it's been two weeks and I think I'm ready. I need to move on and put it in the past. I can't let fear control me. I will be fine. He can't hurt me now. I mean he's in jail. What can he possible do to us from there." I say and turn to look up at his face. He smiles and nods.

"You may be the strongest person I know. I was worried this would destroy you and take you from me. But you are doing better than I thought." He says as he brushes my hair off my face.

"Nothing will take me from you. I love you." I say. He nods and places his hand on my cheek and strokes his thumb along my cheek.

We still haven't been able to make love since my body needed to heal and he's afraid I will have flashbacks to it but I have made love to him long before this happened and I know he could never hurt me. But he wants to give it time and I am starting to miss his touch and the feel of him inside me.

I fall asleep in his embrace. I wake to his hand on my cheek stroking my cheek with his thumb. I smile up at him. "I love you and you are so beautiful." He says with a smile. He leans down to kiss me and I deepen the kiss. I want him so bad but he pulls from me and sighs. "Sebastian? Why won't you touch me anymore? Do I disgust you now?" I ask with hurt in my voice.

He looks at me shocked I would ask such a thing to him. "Ciel, of course not. I love you and worship the ground you walk on. I love to touch you and kiss every inch of you. I could never be disgusted with you." He says and places both his hands on my face to force me to look at him.

"Then why haven't you touched me since then?" I ask in confusion.

"Because I'm afraid to scare you. I'm afraid you will think of him instead of me and get scared. What he did to you was horrifying and traumatic. He attacked you and raped you. I won't touch you until I know for sure I won't scare you." He explains and I can understand that I guess.

"Sebastian, you won't scare me or hurt me. I trust you completely and whole heartedly. I know the difference between his and your touch. You are gentle and caring. You never hurt me or be rough with me. It'll be okay. I'm okay. I miss you so much. I want to feel you inside me again. I want to feel your gentle touch and lips on me again." I say and I start to blush a bit.

I lean and kiss him and climb into his lap and rub my hips against his in want. He moans against my lips as I do and our members rub against each other. I start to get hard as I keep rubbing myself against him. He puts his hands on each side of my face to pull me from him "Ciel no!" He says but his body is betraying him as I feel him just as hard as me.

"Please! I need you. I want you now. I know you want me too." I say pleading for him.

He looks at me and sighs. "Are you completely sure about this? You won't flashback to him when I enter you?" He asks in worry.

"No I won't I trust you. You could never hurt me like he did." I assure him and rub against him again in need. He nods and turns us over on the bed and he is over top of me. He leans down to kiss me and I accept it.

His hand travels up the side of my body as he pushes my shirt up. He pulls it off and he leans to kiss my chest. He kisses and teases my body and I'm a moaning mess as he does. I missed this so much.

He goes to the hem of my shorts and looks up at me for consent and I nod for him to continue. He pulls them off me and my erection is in his full view. He takes the base of it with his hand and licks the tip of me. I throw my head back as he does. He takes the head of my erection in his mouth and I lose my composure as he does. He bobs his head as he takes me in his mouth nearly swallowing me. I grip his hair as he does.

He pulls from me and looks at me nervously I nod that I am okay. He nods too and grabs a condom and lube from the bedside table. He coats his fingers with it after sliding the condom on. He fingers me slowly and prepares me for him. I moan as he finds the spot that drives me insane and I see stars as he rubs his finger against it.

He pulls his fingers from me and gently grabs my hips and I look at him and grip his shoulders. "It's okay. I'm okay. I trust you." I assure him. He nods and thrusts slowly into me and I cry out in pleasure as he does.

He moves in and out of me slowly as I lose my sanity and composure on the world around me. He always feels amazing when inside me. He thrusts in deeper and faster as he loses himself in his pleasure as well. "God you're so tight." He says as he thrust into me.

He rolls us to where I am on top of him and I move my hips against his. My hands fist against his chest as I feel myself clinch around his length and girth as he thrust into me. I lean down to his lips and kiss him. I pull away from his lips when I feel his hand finds my erection and strokes it in time with his thrust. I lose it and shout his name as I cum all over his chest and abdomen. He thrust deep in me and cums too into the condom inside me.

I collapse against his chest as we lay still with him inside me. I feel spent but happy. "That was great." I say when I calm my breathing. He laughs and kisses the top of my head. "Good I'm happy you enjoyed it. I sure did miss this sweet tight ass of yours I gotta say. It's perfect just like everything about you is. You are the best I have ever had. Even for being a virgin and not really having sex with anyone before me." He says as he grips my lower cheek and lovingly strokes it.

"I'm happy you think that. I really don't know what I'm doing half the time but whatever I do you seem to like it. Although you do most of the work." I say as I sit up and look at him and trace my hands down his toned chest and tight abdomen muscles.

"Trust me you are an amazing lover. I love being inside you and feeling how your walls hug around my dick is more than enough to drive me insane with lust. And when you use that pretty little mouth of yours to work on my dick drives me crazy. Are you sure you never had a man like that before?" he says and asks as he places his hand on my chin and circles his thumb around my lips. "So full and luscious. I love them so much. You taste so sweet and I can't get enough of it in my mouth. You taste sweeter than any sweet I have ever eaten." He adds.

"You are the first man I have been with willingly and no I have never given any man head before. You are the first I've done it to." I answer.

"What did that man do when your aunt sold you to him?" he asks as he strokes my face with his fingertips.

"You don't want to know." I answer looking away.

"I do. I want to know what he did to you. I want to know every detail about you even the bad." He says softness in his voice. I climb off his lap and he takes off his condom and throws it in the trash.

"He pretty much did what Claude did. He pinned me down on the floor and raped me. I screamed for my aunt but she ignored me and pretended nothing was happening. I was seventeen and very small for my age. I've always been short and thin and it didn't help that I have feminine features. I hated my aunt after that. The next day she came into my room and thanked me for clearing her debt. She didn't care that I was laying there bleeding and trembling from what just had happened. It took me two days to heal and I ended up packing my clothes and a picture of my parents. I grabbed my phone to call my other aunt and asked if I could stay there. She tried to ask what was wrong but I refused to tell her or my uncle what Aunt Anne did. I was lucky 'cause my older cousin Edward was away at university and I stayed in his room until I finished school and left everything behind." I explain. He stares at me and I feel his arms wrap around me to hold me protectively in his embrace.

"I hope I never meet that woman who would sell their nephew just to clear a debt. It's sickening." He says through clinched teeth. I nod against him.