Twelve Red Lines

by Vikingr

I expected to die when I went into the water. Instead, I was rescued by a crew of people who I knew only as characters in a story. But what does it take to become worthy of being a Straw Hat? And why are so many little details not matching up to what I know?

17. Stereotype

Stereotype: a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.

gamelover41592: Thanks. And yes— you should be worried about the Ace meeting. *evil grin* And here's the rest of the Drum Island arc.

gerbilfriend: Thanks. I'm glad you think I did Luffy justice, and that you found the crossover funny even if it's not usually your cup of tea.

Lightsbane1905: I shalt includeth more Monty whenever I find myself in a position where I am capable of doing so. Which sadly may not be often.

GreenDrkness: Your question shall be answered in this chapter... And don't worry, Jones gets her own chance to enjoy the hockey and beavertails.

Cricket4444: Indeed.

6BlueSweaters: *bows theatrically* Thank you.

Xipholynx: Thank you very much. And I'm glad you like them, because we'll definitely be seeing a lot more of them than in cannon.

ISawWhatYouDid: Thank you. And yeah, that's the message I'm hoping to send.

Rebel-Keiki: You're welcome. ^_^

Sakura Hatsu: Then it's a good thing she won't be missing out on that opportunity, eh?

Dragondancer81: Oh, no need to fear, Luffy wouldn't kill Jones with the Fist of Love. Or at least, not completely. Mostly dead is still a little alive, eh? And just because it's not an "official" part of the plotline doesn't mean the crossover won't have any effects.

MadelVer: Yes, they were and are. As for your second question... Eh, I suppose it's possible. You'll have to wait and see.

The Keeper of Worlds: Thank you very much. I like helping the butterflies along their migration, and the village side scenes were fun.

FairyGirl960: I'm glad I could make people laugh with that part. That was the intention. And you need wait no longer.

Akropulis: Maybe.

Guest (May 22): Thank you.

WaterStar45: Heh. Thank you very much. Yeah, poor Johnny and Yosaku are in for a surprise.

Azurai Wolf: *cackles* Indeed.

Guest (May 24): :)

Storyteller222: ^_^ I'm glad you liked it so much. I had a lot of fun working with the Senpais on that.

xanothos: Thank you so much. *wipes tear from eye*

DelerpTurtle: Of course I recognize you. And... While that is a very nice thought and I appreciate the sentiment, that wasn't exactly what we meant the hugs to be. They were supposed to be The Patient One interacting with the story, since he didn't have an SI present.

LegionnaireBlaze: Thank you. I hope I'll continue to live up to your expectations.

Master Aquatosic: Thank you very much. While I probably need a hug, I don't particularly like them, so that wouldn't be a good idea. And as far as LGBTQIA... Well, it wouldn't be an accurate SI of me if Jones didn't lean both ways, so...

Ft Knight: Well, here it is. I hope it lives up to your expectations.

Guest (May 26): *bows*

Ttran2323: Thank you. ^_^

The Utterly Fabulous Z: Well, since Bluejay Blaze is my beta reader, I suppose doing a crossover with One Piece, Two Piece, Red Piece, Blue Piece someday wouldn't be out of the question for me. Coordinating it might be tricky though.

hufflepuffbadgersdontcare: Sorry...

rosewillow narusasufangirl: Read on and one of your questions shall be answered. Wait two or three chapters and the other will.

Toaneo07 Ver2.0: Your opinion is noted. And I'm afraid I can't relly clear up the confusion surrounding Jones' Devil Fruit— it's physics, so there's bound to be some confusion. Sorry.

GingerFury: Thank you very much. *strikes Franky's pose* And while yeah, the painter's obvious, I'm willing to bet my angel isn't who you'd expect— although I suppose by saying that I may have pointed out the other candidates. Just remember, I have an island full of angels to choose from and it could be anyone I could come up with a plausible role for. As for the Mountie... There's a clue in the crossover chapter as to who that is. Blink and you'll miss it though.

majishan: Thank you.

Twilight0Wanderer: Thank you. To both of your first two points, that's all I can really say. As to your question about Newton's Second, there are a few reasons for that. One is that Jones was only thinking about the fact that she was hitting people with extra force, not that she'd recently absorbed the force to do so and was reusing it. Two is that Jones hasn't taken physics in six years and gets some of the terminology mixed up. And three is just that I think Newton's Second sounds cooler when shouted out loud.

Squarekiddo: I'm sorry you see it that way. This is meant to be a story of healing, so of course there are some sad parts. But there are also happy parts, which I'd thought I'd been doing a decent job of working in, that get more frequent as things go along.

Tactition101: In hindsight, I agree with your logic. That said, it's not something Jones would've had time to think about at the time, and since this is her POV... Well, the first chapter is called Unreliable Narrator for a reason. Thank you very much.

Insanity Lord: *grins and bows* Thank you very much.

DarkkingMB: Well, in that case, I'm sorry for the bait and switch. Truth is, at the time of writing I hadn't decided which way to go with the fruit, and some good friends convinced me that physics was probably the better way to take it in the end.

Kakusei: Thank you very much.

Bombadilo Baby: Thank you. And here it is.

Oblivion: Well, surprise! It's not really a Star Wars reference. Although I will agree that it has the potential for great power.

Unca Bob: I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable; it was uncomfortable to write as well. And yes, I know they can't. Jones picked the name because she loves those books, not because she expects to be popping Between any time soon. Oh my... I did not know that. I'm sorry if anyone was offended by my use of it; where I grew up, it's a common slang term for shortchanging someone, and it sounded tome like something Nami would say. I wasn't aware of the origin.

darkanomoly: I'm sorry it's not your cup of tea. *shrugs* I will agree that it's complicated, although my sense of humour swings that way, so I don't find it annoying.

Good stories here: Thank you. And I guess I'm sorry you find my pacing so fast, but I really don't know how to slow things down much. This is about as slow as I get.

LirialRaito: Thanks.

LuminaCarina: Thank you very much.

Jj: I make no promises, but I'll do my best.

Xander1996: Well, in that case I'm sorry, because I'm including some of the filler and making it important to my plot. Not all of it, but a fair bit; it gives me more time to develop and play with my expanded crew, and more potential butterflies to add to the migration.

And two very special announcements before we begin the story proper. First, this story now has a TV Tropes page. Yay!

Second, and far more important… Those of you who follow the This Bites! thread on Spacebattles will already know this, but for everyone else… The Patient One and I are now dating. There are not enough words to describe how happy this makes me, or how grateful I am that I met him. *smiles dreamily and stares off into space*

I ran down a long trail, pine trees towering on either side. Snow rose knee-deep between them, but the trail itself was bare. So were my feet… But I wasn't cold. Why? My cold tolerance was high, but usually I at least wore socks if I was running around outside in the winter. Glowing eyes flashed in the spaces between the trees, bright and shiny. But they weren't threatening- a soft brown instead of red or green. Like the eyes of a deer…

…Beep…

Something blue fluttered all around me, hundreds of swirling pieces. Soft, warm… I couldn't tell what they were, but I loved them. It was like being in the center of a royal blue blizzard. One of the things stuck to my cheek; I plucked it off so I could get a good look at it. A rose petal? Blue roses- symbol of mystery and accomplishing the impossible. But more importantly at the moment… so soft. I fell back into a heap of them, sinking in as if I'd jumped into a pile of leaves.

…Beep…

Pain. That was the first thing I noticed, long before anything else. Stabbing, piercing pain in my arm and shoulder; throbbing aches all over my legs; dull, crackling pain my ribs that turned sharp every time I tried to breathe. My back felt like I had the world's worst case of road rash. About the only things that didn't hurt were my eyes, and that was probably just because I hadn't opened them yet.

Well, pain was just my body's way of telling me I was still alive. Now, the question was, was I still in the One Piece world, or had I been transported to another? Waiting to find out wouldn't make the pain go away; I opened my eyes with a groan.

…Blurry. Where were my glasses? Something purple moved near me; without my glasses, I couldn't tell if it was above, beside, or in front. My sense of balance was shot- was I lying down? Standing up? Hanging from something? And if I was lying down, was I on my back or my side?

My throat felt like it was made of sandpaper, as did the inside of my mouth. I blinked blearily up at the purple thing as I opened and closed my mouth, trying to force words out past burning vocal chords. It worked, barely; my voice sounded more like a rusty hinge than anything else, but at least it was possible to understand what I was trying to say.

"Glasses? Water?"

"Huh. You're awake earlier than I expected." Female voice, old but strong, vaguely familiar. She lowered her volume quickly, but not enough that I couldn't hear- although she seemed to think she had. "How'd I misjudge the sedative? That dose should've kept her out for another day."

The purple woman moved away for a moment. When she returned, an arm at my back raised me up; she held a cup to my lips. "Here. Drink this- slowly."

It wasn't straight water- I tasted chamomile, lavender, and a little bit of poppy seed. Sedative herbs with minor healing properties. So, this woman was a herbalist or doctor of some sort, and given the purple… Still in the One Piece world then. Doctor Kureha. Going slow was hard- I was so thirsty- but I did as I was told. Drinking too quickly in this state would only cause me to vomit, which would just make things hurt more.

"Thanks." Talking was much easier now, the warm liquid soothing my throat. "Where are my glasses?"

"Here." Kureha set the cup on a side table with a clack, retrieving a pair of familiar wire frames and sliding them onto my face. The world snapped into focus, stone and wood and wool. It was a comforting sight, familiar but not. I knew I was in a castle, but it didn't feel like it- more like a house in a pioneer village. There was bookshelf I could see if I turned my head a little; I wondered if I would be allowed to read any of the worn volumes, had I asked. But there were more important things to worry about. Namely, there was someone very important missing from the room. Several someones, if the images playing vague havoc with my head were true. Luffy, Sanji, and Ghin… Had they brought me here? They must have.

"Where are my friends?"

"The three idiots who climbed up the mountain?" Kureha let out a huff of laughter. "They're in the next room, sleeping. Exhausted themselves, even if they refuse to admit it. Three cases of moderate frostbite- luckily nothing that needed to be amputated- and one broken foot. They'll be fine soon enough."

That was good. On to priority number two then. I tried to sit up, only for Kureha to pin me down with a hand on my uninjured shoulder. "Hold on a second, brat. What's so important?"

Well, the kingdom was going to be under attack soon. I should probably warn someone. "Need to tell my crew- Wapol's coming. We need to be prepared. Unless he's already come?" That would be bad. Had I managed to be out long enough that I'd missed the fight? Chopper's recruitment?

"Wapol's coming back, eh?" Kureha frowned. "Thanks for the warning; I'll make sure it gets to Dalton's militia, and the crew you mentioned. You just rest now. I don't know what you've been doing to yourself, but it'll be a few days at least before you're up for anything. Your ribs may be well on their way to healing, but I had to re-break your arm to set it properly, and some of those bites on your legs damaged some tendons. Nothing severed completely, thankfully- even I couldn't fix that- but you shouldn't be walking around for a while. At the rate you're going, recovery time should be about two weeks."

WHAT?! But we needed to get to Alabasta! I wasn't sure what day it was, but we'd need to leave soon- today, tomorrow, the day after at the latest- otherwise it would throw the whole timeline off and people might die. Two weeks- I couldn't stay trapped in the castle for that long! And I wanted to at least see the fight with Wapol, since it hadn't happened yet, even if I couldn't help. If only my arm wasn't broken; maybe then I could've gotten away with asking for crutches. I opened my mouth to argue, but Kureha interrupted me with a distraction.

"I say I don't know what you've been doing to yourself, but as one of your attending physicians, I'd like to. It might help with your treatment." The doctor placed her hands on her hips and stared down at me. "So… How did you manage to get a broken arm, four broken ribs, numerous unfamiliar bite marks, piercing wounds that I can't tell if they're from daggers or giant teeth, a ruptured gallbladder, and a ridiculous number of splinters that had to be individually dug from your back?"

Okay, ow. Even just hearing about it made everything hurt more. I groaned. "Hunted by Velociraptors, then nearly bitten in half by a T-Rex. We were on Little Garden," I added when Kureha raised an eyebrow. "There were lots of dinosaurs there."

"Well, that explains the bites at least. And I take it the piercing wounds are teeth then. But that still doesn't explain the splinters. Unless you were wearing a wooden shield to keep the Tyrannosaurus teeth from running you through?"

"No."

"Impressive." Kureha's second eyebrow rose to join the first. "In that case, I'm surprised you don't have more internal injuries and broken bones. Actually, I'm surprized you're still alive, if you didn't have any defenses. You must have the luck of a devil. But that still doesn't explain the splinters, which were the biggest issue surprisingly. Your back was full of pockets of infection."

No wonder it felt like my back was so much raw meat. Although I had no more idea of where the splinters had come from than Kureha did. Unless… "My staff, and… toilet seat?"

That made the doctor freeze. She stared at me in confusion, her image of unflappable, slightly condescending medical professional momentarily broken. "I can understand carrying a staff, but you think some of the splinters came from what?"

"Toilet seat. I carried my staff and a toilet seat across my back; they must've broken when the T-Rex bit me." Not that I'd ever really used the staff, so it probably wasn't a big loss. I could always pick up a new big stick somewhere else if I needed one. As for the toilet seat… it died a noble death.

Kureha continued to stare at me. A moment later she shook her head, palm meeting her face. "And why, pray tell, were you carrying a toilet seat across your back? Don't you know how unhygienic that was?"

"I cleaned it… And Johnny and Yosaku gave it to me- I couldn't just throw it away." So tired… Even just talking like this was taking a lot out of me. But I'd already been out for several days; I'd had enough sleep recently. I didn't need any more.

"More friends of yours?" Kureha asked, regaining her composure. I nodded.

"Crew mates." Screw the broken arm, I wanted to get up and do something. Anything. Lying here like this was already driving me mad, and it would only get worse once there was fighting and such going on. I forced myself to sit up, wincing and biting my lip at the pain it caused. "Please… When Wapol comes, I want to stand with my crew. And we have to leave soon after; our friend's country is in danger. We're on a schedule."

"Well, your schedule will just have to wait. Now lie down." Kureha shoved me back down with one hand, sending a burst of pain through my back and ribs. Her other hand held a scalpel in front of my face- although she treated it more like a knife, in this case. "Patients leave here under one of two conditions- when they're cured, or when they're dead."

"Muffin," I countered. Kureha's composure shattered again, her incredulous gaze framed by strands of grey hair falling forwards.

"What?"

Compared to so many other people I'd spoken to since coming here, this was easy. In part because of the blade in my face; it reminded me of karate, one of the places I was most comfortable. "When I learned disarming techniques, I was always told to yell 'Don't move!' at my opponent once I had them down and had taken possession of the knife." I shrugged. "My friends and I never really got why- we figured anything is intimidating if you shout it while holding a knife to someone's face. Even 'muffin' or 'fruit loops.' Care to test the theory?"

"Forget your bones, you need someone to heal your head." Kureha shifted the hand that was holding me down from my shoulder to my neck, checking my pulse. Deep, slow breaths; control my heartbeat and prevent an adrenaline dump. Normally, the doctor was probably one of the people in this world I should've been most afraid of, but I couldn't let her know that. "I don't care how brave, stupid, or crazy you are; you're not moving from this bed until I say so."

"You'll keep me in this bed when the Leafs win the Cup!" What I did next was incredibly dumb, both from the perspective of my wounds and the perspective of my relationship with Kureha. Didn't stop me. Despite the hand holding me down, I forced myself up into a sitting position. Pain lanced through me, sending spikes up and down my spine, lightning racing across my skin, and burning spears into my core. Kureha's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed.

"You're a surprisingly durable little thing, aren't you? Well, if threats don't work on you…" Kureha shoved me back down and pulled a coil of soft, black rope from under the bed. I froze with a squeak.

"Eh? What're you gonna do with that?"

"Make sure you stay put until you've had a chance to heal." Kureha worked quickly, tying me down with practiced hands. Wrists, elbows, shoulders, hips, knees, ankles… When I attempted to bite her- a reflex triggered by my hatred of being manhandled- she even bound me across my forehead to keep my head down. None of the knots were tight enough to hurt anything, but they were enough to prevent me from moving much.

Tabarnak.

"Now, you keep quiet like a good girl and rest. I have some messages to send and some frostbitten idiots to tend to." The doctor flashed a sadistic grin and waved as she left the room.

"Mon tabarnak j'vais te décalisser la yeule, calice! Let me go!" I strained against the ropes, but they didn't give at all. Kureha had tied some damn good knots. I heard her laughing as I struggled.

"Heeheeheeheehee!"

A few moments of struggling were all I could stomach; the pain made me want to vomit. I relaxed beneath the ropes, panting. Maudit… I didn't even have any force to try and escape. Although that was probably a good thing, since Kureha was unlikely to take kindly to me breaking her furniture. But then how-? I glanced over at my wrists. Maybe if the ropes were around my training weights… But someone had removed my weights while I was out. On my ankles, too, I figured out after tugging a little at my legs.

It didn't look like I was going anywhere. So frustrating… I hate doing nothing. But I couldn't move. Sighing, I closed my eyes. It wasn't like the others couldn't do this without me. Wapol was an easy opponent for Luffy, and the captain had probably already met Chopper, or would soon. Recruitment was inevitable by this point; I'd done my part.

By nearly getting eaten.

I sighed again. If I couldn't do anything for this fight, I may as well prepare for future ones. I couldn't train like this, bound to the bed and in pain, but perhaps I could do something else. Deep breaths; inhale for four, hold for three, exhale for seven, hold for three. Clear the mind. I sank into myself, my focus shifting through different parts of my body as I meditated. Coloured orbs glowed in my mind's eye.

Red at the base of my spine, the root of survival. Orange at my stomach, the seat of pleasure. Yellow at my solar plexus, the core of willpower. Green at my heart, the home of love. Blue at my throat, the source of truth. Indigo at my third eye, the window of insight. Purple at my crown, the link to the energy of the world around me. White at my hands and feet, the tools with which I interact with the world. Once the colours were established, I connected them one by one, a web of silver lines flowing through my imagination. Spread them out from the colours, creating a network of shimmering energy under my skin, with extra tiny lights of silver at each pressure point I knew. It wasn't exactly a standard meditation technique, but it was the one I preferred.

Maybe, just maybe, if I meditated enough, I could learn to control my ki better… Well enough to use Haki, maybe? I'd only just started learning about ki before leaving Earth though, so I had no idea if they'd overlap. My body began to tingle, as it always did when I sank deep enough into meditation. Heaviness seeped into my limbs and chest.

I have no idea how long I lay there. At some point, I ceased to register the feeling of the ropes that held me down, or indeed, anything other than tingling and a vague floating sensation. It couldn't have been very long though; I've never managed to meditate for more than half an hour before getting distracted. I'm pretty sure that time was no exception. Soon enough, soft sounds invaded my ears- the tapping of tiny hooves against stone. At first I tried to ignore it, but the tapping came closer and closer, making it harder and harder to concentrate. I opened my eyes, my breathing resuming a normal rhythm as I rejoined the waking world.

My first sight was of a pair of huge brown eyes staring down at me. Chopper, in full deer form- although he popped back into his tiny hybrid form with a squeak of surprise when my eyes opened. The little reindeer tried to hide behind a chair. He didn't make a very good job of it though, between his continued curious staring in my direction and the fact that his body stuck out from behind the chair leg. Shaking, Chopper's nose twitched.

"You smell funny. Like weird animals… I don't know how to describe it. Does it come from whatever attacked you?"

"How should I know?" I tried to shrug, but the ropes held me in place. "I can't smell it; my nose isn't as good as yours."

"Compliments won't make me happy, you jerk!" Chopper danced around the chair for a moment before resuming his attempt at hiding. "I mean, um… You're just hearing things! Reindeer can't talk!"

"If you say so…" I made a half-hearted attempt at sitting up, but the ropes still held firm. "I guess that means I'm hallucinating- maybe you should check me for head wounds, eh doctor?"

"Ah! I can't believe we missed something like that!" Chopper was perched on the edge of the bed in a clatter of hooves, poking and prodding at my skull as he sniffled through my hair. "I don't smell any bloo- Hey! You were lying to me!"

"I'm a pirate; we do that." I winced at a sudden jolt of pain. Hmm… Wonder what reindeer fur feels like. "Well, if I'm not injured up there, and thus probably not hallucinating, can I pet you? You look really soft."

Blink. Blink. Chopper frowned and jumped back, shaking his head. "Nuh-uh, you're not fooling me again! If I untie your hand, you'll just free yourself and start running around! You can't do that- you'll make your wounds worse!"

"No I won't." Not immediately, at any rate. "I really just want to pet you."

Chopper looked torn at that. He stared at me for a long moment before shaking his head. "Nope, nope, nope! You have to stay here until you get better."

"Please?" I'm well aware that I'm nowhere near cute enough to pull off the puppy dog look, but that didn't mean I didn't try. "You're so fluffy… And I miss my dragon…" Where was Ruatha anyway? I would've thought he'd have followed when Luffy brought me here…

"You have a dragon?!" Chopper's eyes turned into stars, which reminded me of my list of things I wanted to ask him. It wasn't time for that yet, though. Not until he was on the crew.

"Yep," I said, popping the p. "His name's Ruatha- he's my baby. But I guess he stayed on the ship or something."

"Your… baby?" Chopper cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Like your son? But he's a monster and you're a human- that's not possible!"

"And why not?" Even ignoring the fact that this was Chopper I was talking to and I wanted to make a good impression, why would that ever be a problem? The dragons themselves hadn't seemed to have any issue with it- which just raised questions about how I was supposed to teach Ruatha how to be a proper dragon when I knew nothing about their biology or culture. I pushed that thought to the side.

"But, but, but…" The tiny reindeer seemed to be at loss for words. He wrung his hooves, his eyes filled with confusion and hope. But also fear- nervous of his hope being false, maybe?

Lacking any other way of expressing myself, I sighed, rolled my eyes, and turned my head as far towards Chopper as the ropes would let me. Which wasn't very far, but still. "Tony-Tony Chopper, unless you're worried that my baby eats people, you have absolutely no reason to freak out so much. And he doesn't, so you can rest easy." Then I froze. Tabarnak. I hadn't meant to use Chopper's name. Gods above and below, other me, what gives?

"Eek!" Chopper jumped backwards, landing next to a tray of medical tools. Tiny hooves groped around for a moment before brandishing straight dressing forceps- with serrations- as if they were a sword. "How- how do you know my name?!"

"I'm a witch- I know lots of things. And really, why else would I have a dragon? Ruatha's my familiar as much as he's my son." Sorry Chopper, but I couldn't give you a straight answer until you were on the crew. Didn't want things leaking to the wrong ears, unlikely as that may be.

"Witches don't exist! The people in the villages call Doctorine a witch, but they know she's really a doctor!"

I shrugged. "What else would you call a woman who knows the future- and the past? I'm no seer- not passive enough. Can't just lie down and let everyone else do everything themselves. Speaking of which…" The ropes were around my wrists, but my hands were free to move. Maybe if I twisted just the right way… It hurt a little, but I had high pain tolerance, and I was pretty flexible, so maybe.

"Hey!" Chopper dropped the forceps in order to bound over and slap my hand when I tried to untie myself. "Stop that! Witch or not, you need to rest!"

Well, he was quick to accept my rationalization. Then again, Chopper always was portrayed as being a little on the naïve and gullible side. Still… I had places I wanted to go, fights I wanted to see. Maybe I could keep Wapol's men from shooting Dalton, or steal the king's fluffy hippo. "Like I told Kureha, you'll keep me in this bed when the Leafs win the Cup!"

Eyes going wide, Chopper froze. Although he was still pinning my hand to the bed, so I couldn't contin- waaait… Merde, I almost forgot that I had two hands. I started stealthily working at the knot on my other wrist as the reindeer stared. It took a while- and hurt like a bitch- but I eventually managed to get it free. That gave me… not a whole lot of movement, actually. Couldn't bend my arm enough to get the knot at my elbow... But I could reach my shoulders and neck, kind of. I grew slightly worried when Chopper didn't react even as I squirmed and contorted to get the knots untied- it hurt a lot, by the way; would not recommend- and which eventually allowed me to wriggle my head and left arm free. It was probably better that I'd started with that side anyway, since my right arm appeared to be broken.

Huh. That was a first. I'd never broken anything except my tailbone before.

"Hello, Earth to Choppy!" I waved my newly freed hand in front of the reindeer's face. He still didn't seem to notice that I was moving around, although he started to move and blink again.

"You- you know about the Leafs making the playoffs? But you're from a different island- how could you know that?! Oh wait, you're a witch." Chopper chuckled sheepishly. "Of course you know about hockey- you said you know everything."

…

WHAT?!

Error 404: Brain Not Found. This time it was my turn to freeze and stare, because… what?! I knew hockey existed in the One Piece world, at least as part of a filler, but how in the Nine Bloody Hells did Chopper know about the Leafs? Who I was pretty sure were not playoff material this season, although I admit I swapped worlds before I could see much. For several long minutes, the only response I could formulate was a strangled gurgle, my hand held suspended in front of Chopper's muzzle. Meanwhile, the tiny doctor stared wistfully off into space.

"I wish I could go to the playoffs," the little reindeer sighed. "I can hear them from the castle, you know- everyone's so loud. So happy. But they wouldn't want a monster there…" Here Chopper paused to rub his eyes with his hooves. "I sneak out sometimes to watch kids play, you know. One of the peewee teams in Robelle likes to use me as a mascot."

Chopper jumped off the bed and shifted into his full reindeer form, as if demonstrating something, although I failed to make any connections. My brain was still offline. The doctor lowered his head so I couldn't meet his eyes, as is he was embarrassed. "I- I like the teams, the way they all work together and have each other's back. They make me happy."

One part of my brain that was making a valiant attempt at playing catch-up came to the conclusion that Chopper was admitting to pulling a Quasi Modo and the Feast of Fools. Which was adorable and heart-wrenching; I always loved The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Unfortunately, the rest of my brain was still confused as all get-out. When Chopper raised his head again, as if expecting a response, I finally managed to squeak out one word.

"Leafs?"

The doctor nodded. "Yeah. This year's finals are between the Bighorn Leafs and the Gyasta Seas." Chopper rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows they're the biggest rivals in forever- even monsters who've never gotten to see them play."

Okay, not Toronto; just a coincidence. A freaky, authorial shenanigan of a coincidence. My brain finally started working again- I swear it made a whirring noise as all the different parts caught up to each other. I went back to trying to untie myself. Not that I managed to get much further; now that neither of us was 404ing anymore, he quickly noticed that I had a limb free.

"Hey! Stop that! You need to rest!" There was a loud crunching noise as Chopper switched into his heavy point, grabbing my left arm and holding it down with the gorilla-like strength of his new form. The sudden tug wrenched my shoulder, although not quite enough to hurt.

I went momentarily limp to avoid injury. Chopper's face was only a few centimeters from mine as he glared into my eyes, obviously hoping to intimidate me. He was too cute for it to work though, even when the reindeer looked like a fluffy yeti. Keyword- fluffy. A sly grin grew across my face as I came up with an idea. "If you let me up, I'll take you to the playoff game."

"Really?" Chopper popped back into his usual form in surprise, landing on the bed with a bounce. For an instant, his face was full of hope and joy; his expression quickly fell into murky resignation though. "But the people… No one wants a monster to come to their party…"

I knew that feeling. Isolation. Years of being the odd one out on Earth had given me more than enough experience sitting on the sidelines at parties where no one really wanted me. But at the same time… Things were different here. Even though I still didn't join in the parties, my crewmates wanted me to. I could if I wanted, and I would be welcomed with open arms. "That's not true. Even if you are a monster- and I don't buy it, you're far too cute- there's someone out there who will want you at their party. And all the rest of the time too. You just haven't met them yet."

"Really?" Tears glistened in Chopper's eyes; he rubbed at them with his hooves. "Do you know who they are?" Hope; but he was afraid to trust it.

The doctor's question made me pause. Merde. I was interfering with Chopper's recruitment. I'd already come too close to some of the things Luffy was supposed to say… Aw, to Hell with it. As long as they still fought Wapol together, Luffy would still want to recruit a transforming, talking reindeer. And I wanted to do something, not just lie in bed.

"Yeah, I know them." I smiled- not one of my crazy grins, but an attempt at something softer. Not sure if it was all that visible though; I don't have the most expressive face. "I'm one of them. So let's go down and watch some hockey, eh?"

Chopper wavered for a moment. "What if Doctorine is angry? She won't want you up and about, and I've been too scared to tell her about going down on my own…"

Another feeling I could understand- fear of one's mother. But since Kureha- despite all usual logic- didn't scare me… I grinned like a madwoman. "Sesehihihihihi! What she doesn't know won't hurt us! And if she does find out, I'll protect you."

"You- you're not scared of Doctorine at all? You're amazing!" Chopper began to untie my remaining limbs. "How can you be so brave? I've never seen any patient defy her before."

"If she wanted me to be scared of her, she shouldn't have threatened me with a knife."

A large drop of sweat rolled down the back of reindeer's neck. "But… That's what usually scares people… Are you crazy?"

"Maybe?" I shrugged as best I could in my still semi-immobilized position. "No one's ever tested me for the kind of crazy you're probably talking about, but I know I suffer from mental illness of some sort. But it really depends on your definition of crazy- to a martial artist, fearing the knife is the irrational reaction. Fear makes you freeze, and makes it harder to analyze a fight."

Considering my words for a long moment, Chopper eventually shrugged and went back to releasing me. It didn't take him long. As soon as the ropes were gone, I sat up with a groan of pain. Only, once I did, I realized something rather embarrassing. My face heated up; I wondered how I hadn't noticed this before. Namely, that except for a cast on my right arm, a shit tonne of bandages, and my underpants, I was naked.

"IA!" I groped around for a blanket. Eventually my hand met a sheet that had been shoved over and bunched up at the edge of the bed. Yanking it up, I twisted it roughly around myself in a sort-of makeshift toga. "Where are my clothes?!"

"The things you came in were barely clothes anymore," Chopper informed me with a sniff. "Your shirt was nothing but tatters that peeled off with the wax cast around your ribs, and your pants were so crusty with blood we had to cut them off of you to check some of the injuries on your legs."

"But what about my socks? Shoes? Hat? Utility belts? Necklace? Armband? Bandanna? Bra?"

"Your shoes and socks are under the bed, your other accessories are on the chair in the corner, and your bra was in the same state as your shirt. Sorry…" Chopper stared at the floor. "We were more concerned with saving you than your clothes."

"Ergh…" Well, that put a damper on any ideas of exploration I might have. "How long was I out, anyway?"

"Well, I don't know about before you got here, but your friends carried you up the mountain last night. It's really impressive that you're already able to move." Wringing his hooves, Chopper slowly looked up to meet my gaze. "Would- would you like me to find you some clothes? Some of Doctorine's things will probably fit- although it'd be her summer ones…"

"By the coils of Patoll, yes, I would like some clothes!" Kureha's things weren't exactly my style, but until I could get back to the Going Merry, I'd take what I could get. Chopper squeaked and scampered away, his hooves clattering on the stone. I sighed as he left, running my hand through my hair. I hadn't meant to snap like that; I didn't want to frighten him. Finding myself naked though… It just scared me. A lot.

X

Well, this wasn't what I'd expected when Chopper offered to fetch me clothes. Summer things indeed. The little doctor had brought me a tank top made of shimmering black fabric and covered in violet rhinestones, as well as a pair of matching shorts. A little sparkly for my taste, but beggars can't be choosers. No bra, but that was fine; I snatched a few extra bandages and we used them to wrap my chest. It wasn't something I'd done often in the past, but enough that I knew how. Throwing my own accessories on helped a little, but still…

"Couldn't you have found some proper pants?"

Chopper flinched. "Sorry… But she would've noticed if I went into her room; I got these from the attic storage."

"Don't apologize." I patted Chopper on the head. "It's fine. I might be a little cold, is all. Should be plenty warm once we're in the arena though; it's probably packed."

I couldn't move quickly; doing so caused lances of pain to shoot through my torso and arm. Getting dressed had been an interesting affair, with Chopper having to help me at some points. That was embarrassing, but at least he wasn't a human. Walking, as we headed out, was… painful. Whatever tendon damage I'd suffered meant I could neither fully straighten nor fully bend my knees, and the rest of my legs ached and twitched with every step. A few meters were all I could manage before my left leg gave out, sending me staggering sideways. I caught myself on the doorframe.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Chopper asked worriedly. "You really shouldn't be up yet; you don't have to do this for me."

"Don't keep telling me to lie down," I ground out through grit teeth. "I'd get bored, and that's not good for anybody. And I know damn well I don't have to do this for you; I want to."

"Why?" Tears; Chopper was about to cry. Please gods, no- I'm not good at dealing with crying children.

"Do I need a reason? But if I do… You're smart, adorable, sweet, a good doctor. You deserve to have someone care about you." I winced as I forced myself back to my feet. My legs weren't certain they wanted to support me though. "If we are going though, I wouldn't say no to a little help."

"Oh! Right; sorry." Chopper turned into his full reindeer form with a crunch like breaking bones. Trotting over, the doctor examined me for a moment. Then he nodded to himself and ducked down, shoving his head between my knees and tossing back as he stood up, throwing me back onto his shoulders. I yelped at the sudden motion.

"Hey! Don't do that- you'll hurt yourself! I'm heavier than I look!"

"Not much," he snorted. "You're still pretty light. And it's better than you trying to walk yourself."

Hooves clacking on stone, Chopper moved slowly through the hallways. My toes brushed the floor as he walked. The reindeer peered around each corner carefully before rounding it, worried about being caught. I wasn't entirely sure how I'd protect him if Kureha did get angry about this, but I was sure something would come to me eventually. Hopefully it would be a moot point and we wouldn't be caught.

If I hadn't had that thought, maybe it would've even come true. As it was, just as Chopper and I were exiting the castle, we heard yelling behind us. Chopper's fur fluffed up, his eyes going wide and his ears lying flat back against his skull.

"Where are you going, eh? You get your sorry ass back to bed right now!" Kureha's harsh voice echoed off stone. I couldn't see her right away, but rapid footsteps on stone indicated that the doctor was fast approaching. I hugged Chopper's neck with my good arm, leaning forwards.

"If you don't move, we're gonna get caught," I whispered in the reindeer's ear. "What do you want to do- watch hockey, or monitor me while I repeatedly try to escape out of boredom? I'll take the blame either way."

Flicking his ears, Chopper hesitated for a moment. He looked like he was about to turn back, one hoof raised. The reindeer flinched as the angle I was leaning at caused my necklace to dangle in front of his face, the brass Jolly Roger gleaming in the light. He blinked, once, twice, three times. Then his previously teary, scared eyes shone with determination. Chopper lowered his head and pawed the ground with a snort.

"Hockey," the reindeer decided. Muscles bunched beneath me as Chopper charged out the door and through the snow. He was fast, faster than anything I'd ever ridden before- although I will admit I didn't have a lot of experience. Although… Kureha was fast too, coming after us with all the righteous rage of a doctor whose patient had decided to discharge herself. She couldn't quite catch a running reindeer, but she could keep within close enough range to throw things at us.

Convincing Chopper to come with me had been easier than I expected, I mused as scalpels, needles, and forceps rained down around us. The lure of hockey must be strong. Or maybe I'd said enough that I'd hit a nerve or something, given him confidence. Hell, it could even have been just the sight of my necklace; didn't Hiriluk tell him stories about pirates? Regardless of the reason, I was glad. Chopper deserved a day out, and I wouldn't be bored this way.

Kureha continued to throw things at us as Chopper leapt onto one of the ropeways and cantered down the steep slope; snowballs and rocks joined the surgical equipment. When she didn't hesitate in her pursuit despite our more fragile footing, a chill settled in my stomach. The doctor was actually angry, not just playing as a 'tough love' method of getting Chopper to open up. Otherwise she would've stopped so as not to damage the ropes. I held tighter to the reindeer's neck as he picked up speed even more.

The ropeway bounced beneath Chopper's feet as he bounded along. I got a little nauseous from the motion, so different than that of the sea. His steps were certain, though, experienced; he'd done this enough that he didn't hesitate at all. It was an impressive display of balance and dexterity for an animal without proper toes. Especially since the rope, while thick as ropes go, was far narrower than any bridge I'd ever seen.

Ten minutes. That's how long it took to race down the rope with Kureha behind us. She eventually slowed as we got closer to the bottom, the noise of a nearby crowd throwing her off. Or perhaps it was the fact that Chopper was charging towards the noise, even though she knew him as shy and distrusting of people. Either way, as soon as the reindeer's hooves touched solid ground, the rain of projectiles stopped. Not that Chopper stopped running because of that. No, he continued to canter towards the sounds of a crowd, racing along a snow-covered road until we came to a rocky outcrop. There he stopped. From the sound of things, the crowd was right around the corner.

"Which- which form?" the reindeer asked me, his voice small. Worried. Before I could answer, he bowed his head. "Maybe… Maybe this wasn't a good idea. We should go back to the castle…"

I knew what he was feeling, at least part of it; I had similar misgivings. The thought of the mass of people I could hear so close terrified me, sending shivers up my spine that had nothing to do with the cold I was just starting to comprehend. So many people packed so close together, shouting, staring, touching… I'd never been to a playoff game before- was it different than going to a normal hockey game? Was there something special we were or weren't supposed to do? I had no idea. A large part of me wanted to agree with Chopper, to turn around and go back. But…

Removing my hand from Chopper's neck, I clutched at my necklace, gripping so hard I could feel the Jolly Roger digging into my palm. I was supposed to be a Straw Hat Pirate. Talking to people had already been getting easier; it was time for me to try and face this fear of crowds. Besides, it wasn't like I was alone. Chopper and I may not have known each other long enough for him to count as a friend- although we were starting very well off in that direction- but I knew he was a good person. And he was fluffy. Having animals around always helped me feel better.

"We can if you want," I said slowly, forcing my voice to remain steady. "I won't make you do anything that makes you too uncomfortable; trust me, I know what that feels like. But we've come so close. If you think you can handle it, you should change into your human form and we can go in. I'll be right here; you're not alone." Maybe if we supported each other, we could both face our fears.

Shooting me a nervous glance, Chopper transformed with a popping crunch. This left me perched on his shoulders like a child. The doctor sighed and looked up at me. "It won't work. Some of the townspeople have seen me like this before; they'll recognize me as the mountain monster."

"Easy enough." I waved a hand, as if this were no big deal. Which it wasn't, in theory; practice would be a little more challenging. "We'll get you a disguise. A decent shirt and something that hides your face should do it, if you want."

I gave Chopper a minute to think about it, not wanting to push him too hard. If he wasn't ready for this… Hell, I wasn't sure I was ready for this. But I wanted… I was sick of being afraid, but I couldn't do it alone. Selfish of me to drag Chopper into it, I know, and I felt bad about that- but at the same time, it would be good for him too if we could manage it. And, well, I've never claimed to be a selfless person.

"Where would we get stuff?" the reindeer asked eventually. I grinned.

"Why, the same place cartoon protagonists always get their last-minute disguises, of course! Snatching things from clothes lines!" I shivered, the cold finally starting to catch up with me in my borrowed shorts and tank top. "And if we see something in my size, I wouldn't say no to some pants and something with long sleeves."

"Isn't that stealing though?" Cue adorable, reproachful reindeer stare.

Guilt stabbed me in the stomach. Maudit… Way to reassert my sense of honour at an inconvenient time. I'd done worse things since coming to this world- gassing a platoon of marines comes to mind- so why was it that a common cartoon shenanigan gave me pause? Opening my hand, I glanced down at the Jolly Roger on my necklace. I was supposed to be a pirate. That meant living by no rules other than my own and the few that my captain gave me. But… what rules did I want to live by? The laws of a country I no longer lived in, and might never see again? The rules of pragmatism, where anything goes as long as it has a purpose? The code of bushido that had been ingrained into my heart from the moment I first tied an obi? None of them quite seemed to fit…

"Yeah, I guess it is. But it's not like we'd keep them forever; we'd give them back." Chopper was a member of the Straw Hat Crew; that meant that anything I could do for him was more important than anything else in this world. And right now, I wanted to take him to a hockey game. I'd worry about anything else later. "Besides… If that's the case, wasn't it technically stealing for me to borrow some of Kureha's clothes?"

Chopper went pale for a moment, mouth moving like a fish as he nodded mutely. He looked confused, torn; I said nothing, not wanting to sway his decision. Eventually, the reindeer doctor glanced up at me again, biting his lip. "You're sure we'll be able to return things? And we won't take them from anyone who would be inconvenienced in the meantime?"

"Swear it on the fires of Criwe," I promised, raising my good hand. "God of fire, law, and mischief binding enough for you?"

My companion actually chuckled, despite his misgivings. "Weird combination. No wonder you're nuts, if you follow gods like that. But if law and mischief can go together…" Reassured, a twinkle came into Chopper's eyes. "Where do we start?"

"A big building on the edge or just outside of town would probably be our best bet. Less likely to be seen that way." I stretched my neck to peer over the rock, trying to spot anything that could help. All I saw was a bunch of little rooves with cold chimneys, plus the silhouette of a ring of stands in the distance. There were a couple of buildings near the stands- changerooms? "Maybe one of the ones over by the rink. No one'll be there until the game's about to start, and the players probably have spare clothes kicking around."

We skirted the town through the edges of a pine forest. Even hidden among the trees, though, I couldn't escape the sudden, overwhelming sensation of being home. Actually, the pine trees and the snow beneath them probably only made it stronger. I could smell maple and chocolate on the breeze, with undertones of coffee and apple cider. Strains of fiddle music rose out from the party I caught glimpses of in the town square, and while I didn't recognize any of the songs exactly, they had a familiar east coast, old country feel. Like hearing a new Stompin Tom song for the first time. I half-expected someone to burst out singing The Hockey Song, given why Chopper and I were there. Hell, if I'd been a better singer, I would've done it myself.

There were no clothes lines near the rink and changerooms, but some idiot had left the door to one of them unlocked while everyone was out partying. Chopper slunk in with me on his shoulders. We both clapped our hands over our noses almost immediately. Ah yes, the dirty corn chip and wet sock smell of a room that had seen generations of use by sweaty hockey players. That was one thing I had not missed about skating. Ever.

Smell aside, the room looked like a tornado of blue and white had vomited all over it. Jerseys with the name Bighorn and a maple leaf larger than any I'd seen outside of a Canada Day parade were strewn everywhere, some draped over heaps of skates and other equipment. I frowned. Okay, chalk up one difference from home- the one time I'd seen a changeroom while it was in use by hockey players on Earth, it had been slightly neater than this. At least enough that you could tell who was supposed to be sitting where.

On the plus side, we found two jerseys in a size that would fit Chopper's human form that shared the same number. We absconded with the one that smelled slightly less offensive, as well as a helmet I spotted gathering dust in one corner. Sadly, because hockey players are generally large men and I am not, there was nothing in a size even remotely close to mine. No sleeves for me… Ah well, it could be worse. At least with Chopper disguised, we could blend into the town without too much trouble. So we backtracked and did just that.

It was… hard. Just as hard as I'd expected, even though the two of us were together. There were so many people, so loud, so close together… Luckily, even disguised, no one pressed too close to Chopper. Probably because he was large and vaguely threatening with the hockey helmet hiding his adorable face. But at least that meant that I was safely out of arms' reach perched up on his shoulders, even if a lot of people were giving me weird looks. I hid my face and tried to ignore them. Beneath me, Chopper drank in the sights with silent awe.

A prod on one of my calves drew my attention. I peered out from behind my fingers to see Chopper pointing at a food stall. "Jones… What's that?"

What was-? Okay, I had a question first. "Wait- you know my name?"

"Of course I do. Your friends told us when you were admitted for care."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense." I looked at the stall Chopper was pointing at. "That's poutine. I don't particularly like it, but we can get some if you want to try it. I have a little money."

The reindeer shook his head. "No. If we're gonna spend your money, it should be on something you'd enjoy too."

That just made me feel even more guilty for using Chopper's trusting nature to ease my own fears and boredom. The reindeer was just so sweet- how could I do something like this? But he seemed to be enjoying it, and it would make him stronger in the long run… I hoped. Maybe I was just justifying things to myself that way to avoid seeing myself as a bad person. I don't know.

"How about beavertails then? They're sticky and sweet- I bet you'll like them."

"Okay! Sounds great!"

Using my superior vantage point, I was able to find and direct Chopper to a stand selling the sweet, sweet pastries. The salesman was a bit of a creep, his eyes lingering a little too long on my legs despite their heavily bandaged state, but a glare and a low growl quickly sent him back about his business. A few moments later and a few beri lighter, Chopper and I were wandering away, each munching on a chocolatey, delicious treat. I wasn't about to ask how the reindeer managed to eat his without taking his helmet off; I wasn't sure if it was something I wanted to know.

From atop the doctor's shoulders, I eventually spotted Usopp, Vivi, Lisa, and Ruatha through the crowd. My mouth was too full to call out, so I waved to get their attention. Soon enough, the four of them surrounded us, making Chopper a little skittish. He shrieked when Ruatha, in his baby dragon delight, launched himself up to where I was sitting and began licking my face, crooning all the while.

"Monah!"

"Yes, yes, I missed you too." I scratched behind Ruatha's ears as I smiled down at my crew mates. "Hey guys. What're you doing here?"

"We came last night to ascertain that the doctor was headed back to her castle rather than doing a round of the towns," Vivi informed me. "But I see you've already been treated." The princess' face softened. "Jones… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of those things about you. You truly do mean well, even if you're unorthodox about showing it, and I let my fear for my country cloud my judgement. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Would I have jumped in front of a T-Rex for someone I couldn't forgive?" I asked, rubbing at the edge of the cast on my broken arm. Which was a bad idea, as it sent a burst of pain through the limb. "Just because I was hurt didn't mean I didn't know where you were coming from. And besides, I'm used to it. Back home, people called me things like that- not all the time, but often enough."

"That doesn't make it any better. My behaviour was inexcusable." Vivi sighed. "And I suppose I should warn you- Captain Luffy did not look pleased when I informed him of what you likely believed to be your last words."

Tabarnak. Okay, coming down here had been an excellent idea. I wasn't sure what, exactly, a displeased Luffy meant for my future, but I didn't want to find out. Although I was sure I would eventually, but I'd put it off for as long as possible.

A cough from Lisa brought me out of my thoughts. "Jones… Who's this?" The little girl gestured at Chopper.

"H-hi," the doctor stammered. "I'm T-Tony-Tony Chopper."

"He's one of the doctors who treated me." I patted the reindeer on the shoulder to let him know he was doing fine. As for me… Having a couple friends near was doing wonders for my confidence. "And, spoiler alert, someday he's gonna be one of the best doctors in the world."

Vivi and Lisa didn't get what I meant by spoiler alert, but I was pretty sure Usopp did. The gunner's eyes went wide at my words, his gaze flicking to my necklace. I nodded. A broad grin grew over his face. Usopp reached out to shake Chopper's hand as the reindeer proceeded with his "compliments won't make me happy" dance.

"Hi Chopper! I'm Usopp, master gunner of the Straw Hat Pirates! Thanks for fixing Jones up; she always manages to get the weirdest injuries."

The contact left Chopper shell-shocked. He didn't respond, his shoulders going stiff with tension underneath me. This turned into a silent stalemate that lasted several long moments. Eventually, I broke it by nudging the reindeer in the side of the neck. "Earth to Choppy… People are starting to move. We should head for the rink soon if we wanna get good seats." Although… I didn't know if we needed tickets or not here. Ah, we'd solve that when we got there.

"Oh. Right." Chopper broke out of his daze and began slowly meandering in that general direction. My crew mates followed us.

"GYAAAAAAH! Osti de tabarnak de calice, that burns!"

We were about halfway to the rink when we heard a cry go up as a stall went down. This one appeared to have been acting as some sort of first-aid station, judging by the array of bandages, needles, and herbs scattered as it collapsed. Bleeding on top of the wreckage was a rather large, muscular man with an amiable face and two missing teeth. He was gripping his leg with a pained wince, staring at some wound that was just out of my sight.

A bucking horse nearby, its owner desperately trying to calm it, told me what must've happened. Something had spooked the beast; it had knocked the man flying into the first-aid stall, which clearly wasn't all that sturdy. But what could spook a horse around here? A Drum Kingdom winter had no place for snakes. Then I realized that the horse's rolling eyes were focused, more or less, on Ruatha. My little dragon hissed back at the desperately neighing creature.

Oops.

Chopper yelped at the sight. "Ah! Someone help- that man needs a doctor!"

People were already gathering around the area to see what was going on and maybe help, if they had the skills. Still… I poked Chopper in the side of the neck. "You're the only doctor around right now… All the others except Kureha ran off with Wapol."

"Oh- right…" Chopper winced at my words. Shouldering his way through the growing crowd, Chopper knelt beside the wounded man and began examining him. I spotted the injury quickly- something lodged high in the back of his leg, blood pooling out around it. The man was gritting his teeth in pain, humming what sounded like curse words. Chopper hissed at the sight.

"I'm going to have to remove that so I can take a better look." When no one said anything, Chopper went right ahead with that. This earned a loud yell from his patient; the reindeer winced in sympathy. "Sorry…"

"Ah! I didn't know you were a doctor, Alan…" the man gasped. Chopper passed me the object that had been lodged in his leg- a small, curved scalpel with a nick in the blade.

"Er- I- Um…" Chopper didn't end up correcting the patient's mistake regarding his identity, focusing on examining the wound. He sniffed a lot as he did so; I couldn't tell if it was a nervous thing, or if the smell could tell him something about the injury he was diagnosing. If it was the latter, I was impressed with the reindeer's nose.

"That scalpel damaged your sciatic nerve," Chopper eventually informed the man. "Not enough to cause permanent difficulties, but you probably won't be able to walk properly for a couple weeks." Carefully bandaging the wound, Chopper sighed. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid there's not much I can do. You'll just have to wait and let it heal on its own."

The man shot him a horrified look. "But Alan… I've gotta play. We're already late as it is." He winced and tried to stand; Chopper held him down.

"No! If you try to play, you could damage your nerve even worse."

About to protest, the man- apparently a hockey player- was interrupted by the arrival of a rough, harried man in a dark blue coat. He groaned and ground his knuckles into his forehead. "Dammit Larry… I told ya to be careful. You almost got through the entire season without an accident too."

"Sorry coach…" The wounded player looked properly chastised. "I can still play though."

"No, no, I won't have you hurting yourself even more." The coach turned to look at Chopper, reaching out to grab the reindeer by the arm. "Come on Alan, you're up. Ditch the skate-bunny and let's get moving."

"But I'm not-!"

"I know, I know, you're not usually first line. But with Larry down, we need you on defense." The coach wasn't taking no for an answer, not even giving Chopper a chance to explain. Hauling Chopper to his feet, the coach actually pulled me down off the doctor's shoulders and shoved me- gently, but still shoved- into Usopp. Oww… It was only thanks to the gunner's support that I didn't fall over. Chopper squeaked in protest, but was too stunned to do anything other than let himself be dragged away.

Vivi stared. "Jones, what's going on here?"

"Hockey," I shrugged. I didn't really know how to explain. Drum Kingdom… I'd known it was canonically supposed to be the One Piece equivalent of Canada, but I hadn't been expecting this. Not that I hadn't enjoyed that beavertail… Still, we should probably try to rescue Chopper. Nothing I'd seen in the anime or manga indicated that the reindeer could skate well enough to be a defenseman. I forced my aching legs to carry me towards the rink. "Come on- we better rescue Chopper before something happens."

A twinge of pain and a sudden jerk in my left leg sent me tumbling to the ground. Lisa squeaked and helped me back to my feet, draping my good arm over her shoulder so she could hold me up. The little girl looked up at me, worried. "Jones…"

I was surprised that the little girl was so affectionate with me, and had I been at full health, I probably would have flinched and pulled away from the contact. As it was, that wasn't an option, which made me take a second to actually think about the situation. Lisa's voice was shaky; she was scared. Of what, I couldn't tell. I've never been much good at comforting people; all I could do was awkwardly ruffle her hair and press on.

"Come on guys. Let's get to the rink and see if we can help Chopper."

"So that big guy's gonna be our doctor?" Usopp asked quietly as we made our way slowly towards the skating rink. Vivi and Lisa looked askance at him; the gunner ignored them in favour of staring at me. I nodded and nuzzled Ruatha. My baby chirped and crooned, nosing through my hair and examining every inch of me he could reach.

"Yeah. Well, I mean, Luffy has to meet him and approve first, but…" I shrugged. "We need a doctor, Chopper needs help with his dream of curing all diseases, and do you think Luffy would really reject a crew member who's a talking, transforming reindeer?"

"That guy can turn into a reindeer?" Usopp gasped. I shook my head.

"No, Chopper's a reindeer that can turn into a guy."

"Wha-? How?"

"Devil Fruit."

Usopp opened his mouth, closed it, and shrugged. For a few minutes, our group walked in silence. It was taking longer than it should have to get to the rink- likely because of my injuries. As we got close to the stands, I caught a glimpse of the coach who'd taken Chopper, although I saw no sign of the doctor. Ruatha snarled at the sight of the man; Lisa scowled.

"He shouldn't have pushed you and called you a skate-bunny."

"Eh?" I didn't understand. Sure, while I'd never heard the term before, it was easy enough to guess what it meant, and it was mildly insulting. What I didn't get was the level of indignation Lisa was expressing. She seemed to be getting strangely attached to me. The little girl didn't respond to me, instead pulling out her paints. I frowned.

"Hey, hey, hey. What're you planning?"

Lisa looked up at me in confusion. "That man hurt you, when you're just starting to get better. Shouldn't he pay? Just a little?"

"That depends on your definition of pay." If I wasn't that upset about what had happened, why should she be? It's not like the coach had hurt her, or even had any real hostile intent; he was just in a hurry. And quite frankly, compared to the other injuries I was sporting, the little bit of pain from being shoved off Chopper was already faded and gone.

"Just a little distraction," Lisa said with a pout. "Not gonna hurt him or anything. And he won't even know it's me, I swear."

Well, that didn't sound too bad. And as much as I didn't understand her attachment to me, it was cute, and loyalty was a virtue to be encouraged. I flinched at that thought, although my companions probably thought it was a twinge of pain. Merde, for a moment I sounded like a Sith lord or something. Way to go, other me, let's just make ourselves sound like a monster in front of our readers. "As long as you don't hurt anyone, I suppose it's alright."

A sunny grin crossed Lisa's face. She began mixing colours, quickly producing the brightest, most obnoxious paint I'd ever seen. When we passed the coach on our way to the rink gate, Lisa splashed him and whispered under her breath.

"Hallucination Hot Pink."

The man twitched as the paint hit him. Freezing, he glanced around as if looking for someone. Finding nothing, he started walking again, only to pause and glance over his shoulder. He shook his head. We lost sight of him soon after; the last glimpse I saw of the Leafs' coach was him walking around a corner, muttering to himself about this being the first time he'd seen hiking bears attending a hockey game. After that, I lost track of him, as we had arrived at the gate to the rink- and the ticket master didn't look pleased.

"You're late." A massive mountain of a man folded his arms, eyebrows like snakes weaving together over his black eyes. "Tickets please."

Maudit. Did we have to do this, really? We didn't have tickets; we just needed to get Chopper out before he had to skate. I considered leading Usopp, Vivi, and Lisa around back to the dressing rooms, but a quick glance over the ticket master's shoulder showed that everyone was already in the arena, with Chopper looking so nervous and unsteady I could've spotted it from Mars. And no, I wasn't going to question where he'd found skates, since I had no idea if there'd been any with the jersey we 'borrowed' for him.

Usopp squawked indignantly and stammered, trying to come up with something to say. Vivi was far more eloquent. "Excuse me, but we need to get in there. We're friends with one of the players."

"I'm afraid I can't let you in without tickets." The ticket master's scowl never wavered.

"Please!" Was the princess actually trying the puppy dog face? She was- and Lisa and Ruatha were helping her.

"No."

Oh, this was one point where I wished my fruit had been for the Star Wars Force- the Jedi Mind Trick would've been a useful thing here. Too bad there was no way to do that with the forces I had partial access to. Well, when all you have is a hammer… I removed my arm from around Lisa's shoulders to surreptitiously punch myself in the leg a few times, building up a charge of force. Not that I knew what I would do with a charge of force, but still…

Of course, removing myself from support combined with punching myself in the already-twitchy leg was a poor decision. I collapsed; Usopp made a distressed noise and hauled me to my feet. "Jones, what're you doing?"

I winced and made a face. "As soon as I know, I'll tell you."

Meanwhile, Lisa's puppy dog expression had morphed into a small frown. The little girl flicked out her paintbrush and slapped the ticket master on the nose, leaving a splotch of bright colour. "Hallucination Hot Pink."

"Huh?" The ticket master twitched and glanced at something off to the side, but quickly focused on us again. "Look kids, I'm sorry, but if your friend wanted you to come to his game, he shoulda gotten you tickets. Go back and wait at the fair grounds, get yourselves something to eat… If you go to the bar, you can watch the game on the snail screen; if you keep quiet and don't try to trick him into giving you alcohol, Heron probably won't kick you out."

Actually, I wouldn't have gotte- not important, plus I didn't have ID with me anyways. Lisa's frown deepened. Putting her paintbrush away, she threw her whole palette into the ticket master's face, splattering more brilliant, eye-burning paint all over the man. "Hallucination Hot Pink!"

A glazed look came over the man's face for a moment. Then his head suddenly snapped around. "Unicorn weasel? I didn't know we had unicorn weasels on Drum Island!" Forgetting all about us- and indeed, the gate, and the rink in general- the ticket master took off into the snow. Shortly before disappearing from sight, he tore his shirt off and flung it over his shoulder, still shouting about unicorn weasels.

Usopp stared at Lisa in shock. "Your mind control paints are terrifying."

That earned him a flat stare and a shrug. "Yeah. So? I'm twelve and I'm tiny- what'd you expect me to do? Walk up to some guy Zoro's size and punch him in the face? Excuse me while I get my ladder."

The gunner had nothing to say to that, although he opened and closed his mouth a few times as if he were trying. Lisa stuck her tongue out at him and tucked her palette away. I saw her shudder though, and she pressed close against my left side as we made our way in. Something about what Usopp had said was bothering her. I'd get to the bottom of it- later. Right now, we had a case of mistaken identity to sort out.

Unfortunately, the delay at the gate meant that by the time we got in, the game was starting. Chopper followed the actual hockey players onto the rink with stuttering, choppy- pardon the pun- steps. It was like watching a five-year-old- the reindeer had just enough balance to keep from falling on his face, but zero knowledge of how skating actually worked. I swear, half the time he was propping himself up with his hockey stick. His warmup made me cringe. Tabarnak. At this point, there was nothing I could do to help though. Everything was already in motion.

For a few minutes after the players were in position, nothing happened. Vivi looked askance at me, wondering why I had leaned on the boards and frozen as soon as I realized Chopper was already on the ice. "Jones… I thought you said we had to get that Chopper fellow out of here."

"Too late now; game's about to start." Too bad all the seats were already taken; with no glass or net, standing in the aisle and leaning on the boards was a dangerous proposition. There was a good chance of me being hit by a puck, or by players who happened to check each other nearby. Did I care? Not particularly.

"What?!" I could see Vivi desperately trying to contain her confused fury. Unfortunately, I didn't know quite how to explain this to the desert princess. Only…

"Sorry Vivi, hockey is sacred here. Once the players are on the ice, the game can't be stopped. Trying would cause a riot."

Vivi just stared, flabbergasted. "Wait… You- you understand all this?" She waved her hand at- well, at our entire surroundings. "Usopp and I tried making sense of it last night when they gave a recap of recent games, but none of it added up!"

"Of course I understand it, at least a little. It's just like home." I smiled softly. The cold soon ceased to matter. Bonus of growing up a figure skater- you develop high cold tolerance and the ability to spend forever running around a rink in outfits that are not particularly good cover.

The linesmen and the ref appeared at the same moment two men walked into a box at the top of the stands. One announcer wore a sensible black coat and toque, but the other… neon purple and gold plaid. And it was a suit too, not even a jacket. A triple-breasted suit. I couldn't help myself; I started laughing my ass off.

"SESEHIHIHIHIHI!" Oh, this was just too perfect. I loved it.

"Welcome everyone!" That voice. I had no idea what this announcer's name was, but it was clear who other me intended him to be based off of, even if he was playing a slightly different role than I was used to. "Welcome to the Bighorn Cup Playoffs! I'm your host, Grape Draper, here with my partner Hodge Ron- but ya probably knew that already!"

A great cheer went up from around the rink. For a moment, I wondered why a stab of pain ran through my ribs, why my throat was starting to burn; then I realized I was cheering too. Usopp, Vivi, and Lisa all looked at me in confused shock. On my head, Ruatha warbled and flared his wings.

Draper continued over the thunderous applause. "Yeah! Yeah! We're gonna have a really great game today, you know it! In just a few minutes we'll be seeing one of the greatest shows of the season- the Bighorn Leafs versus the Gyasta Seas! Always an excellent match up! Now, I'm a Leafs man myself; far as I'm concerned, them Seas can go f-!" Whatever else he had to say was cut off by some perfectly timed music from a brass band at the other end of the rink.

CRASH! BUM BA-DUH, BA-DUH; BUM BA-DA-DA-DAH! BUM BA-DUH, BA-DUH BWAAAAAAAAH! DA-DA-DA-DA DUM DA-DAAAH! DA-DA-DA-DA DUM-DUM DA-DAAAH! BUM-BA-DUM DUM DI-DAY-DI-DAH! DUM DI-DAY-DI-DAH! DUM DI-DAY-DI-DAH! BWAAH!

Maudit… It wasn't quite the same, but it was close. I started laughing again, unable to hold back, especially not once Ron shot Draper an exasperated look. "We're supposed to be impartial, remember?"

Draper waved a hand, not concerned at all. "Ah, I just call it like I see it. Leafs are awesome, Seas are a bunch of wusses- let's just play already! Go Leafs go!"

The players took their positions to await the faceoff. I winced at Chopper's hacking, stumbling steps. I couldn't even call that skating; something in me died a little. That's it, once he was on the crew proper, I would find a way to give the reindeer skating lessons. This was just painful to watch. Maybe I could do it while figuring out how to use my powers to affect friction, kill two birds with one stone.

A whistle blew; the puck dropped with an audible clack. The two centers clashed immediately, with the one in red getting the puck and racing off around his blue-and-white counterpart. His right wing came along fairly close afterwards, with the left wing hanging back a little. I had no idea whether that was some sort of formation they'd drilled, or just a result of varied skating speeds. My apologies to any hockey fans in the crowd; while I watched hockey on a semi-regular basis, I never did learn much about the strategies or rules, since I never played myself.

And poor Chopper… The reindeer froze as the forwards came towards him, quaking in his skates. His fellow defenceman moved swiftly, checking the red center and sending the puck up to the white left wing. But poor Chopper, kept in place by a combination of fear and his poor skating ability, got run over by the red right wing. Both went crashing to the ice, the man looking just as shocked as the reindeer- from what little I could see of their faces, at least.

Someone in the stands groaned. "Aw man… I know Alan's not the best skater, but this is ridiculous."

The announcers were apparently thinking along the same lines. Draper actually groaned, rubbing his temples before gesturing wildly. "What? WHAT?! Alan, what're you doing? Get up and fucking skate, dammit!"

"Language," Ron chided half-heartedly.

Red quickly reclaimed the puck and came streaming back up the rink. They ignored Chopper and deked around the other defenceman, slapping the puck towards the net. The white goalie wasn't even close; the puck cleared his gloved hand by several centimeters, flying into the net. A great brass horn sounded in celebration. Beneath the announcers' box, a young boy put a number one up on the red side of a large scoreboard.

"What exactly is the point of this game?" Vivi asked. I stared; she shrugged and offered a sheepish smile. "Like I said, we didn't understand the recap last night, and they didn't exactly offer much in the way of beginners' explanations."

"Big men put puck in net." I spoke very slowly, pointing at the objects I referred to as I said them. Mostly this was out of disbelief; it had never occurred to me that I would ever meet someone who didn't know what hockey was.

Vivi blinked at me. "That's all? Isn't that kind of… dumb?" Although at least she had the sense to keep her voice quiet enough that no one else could hear.

I shrugged. "Aren't all sports? Let me guess- you play cricket or soccer or something back home in Alabasta."

"What's soccer?"

"Um… Football? With a black and white checkered ball?"

"Oh." Vivi's eyes lit up and her face flushed red. "Okay, yes, I see your point."

By the time I looked back at the ice, there was a scuffle down at the red end. The white center and one of the red defencemen were fighting; the ref was trying to break them up with the help of a couple of their teammates. Down at the white end, Chopper was watching in fascination. The reindeer practically vibrated in place, which nearly sent him crashing down several times. Well, at least he was having fun.

The red defenceman was given a penalty, to the sound of great booing and cursing from red fans. Up in the announcers' box, Draper was waving his arms around and screaming something- or trying to. Ron had a hand covering his mouth.

Even with a white power play, the red team quickly went on the offensive again. My heart sped up as the red forwards approached Chopper again. Come on… I know you can't skate, but try, at least! Do something! Anything! I pounded on the boards and roared, ignoring the burning it caused in my ribs. "Come on Chopper! You can do it!"

And… he did. Chopper actually moved this time. It was still one of the clumsiest things I'd ever seen on ice, and he ended up stumbling past the guy with the puck as if he were drunk, but the reindeer moved. Nest step- get him to do so without flailing wildly with his stick for balance. Luckily the ref didn't see him, and no one was close enough to get hit.

Another red goal. Even though I knew nothing about these teams or the towns they came from, I automatically started booing. My crew mate was on the white team, dammit! That was enough reason for me to support them! Admittedly, he wasn't supposed to be, but it was too late to worry about that now. Well, unless you were Usopp, who was shooting me strange looks as I pounded on the boards. He didn't say anything though.

It seemed like almost no time at all before the red penalty was over, although in truth it was five long, heart-pounding minutes, during which the red team scored a third goal. I groaned in despair. While Chopper was no longer frozen in shock, his awkward stumbling was making no difference whatsoever. His fellow defenceman was exhausted from trying to be everywhere at once, and the red forwards were simply too fast for their white counterparts.

Two of them in particular were very good- not jumping or doing any tricks, but they were faster than anyone else, and the only ones on the rink who ever seemed to skate backwards. I actually couldn't remember ever seeing hockey players spend much time skating backwards, before, so I was pretty sure this wasn't standard, but it seemed to be effective for them. Certainly confused and outmaneuvered the white team at any rate. Yes, these two were pretty good… Which, of course, made me angry, since they were on the opposing team.

"COME ON LEAFS! FLATTEN THESE RED SEAS!" The amount of force I was building up from my enthusiastic pounding on the boards was starting to make me sick. Or maybe that was the constant pains shooting through my ribs that I was forcing myself to ignore.

Finally, finally, the white goalie made a save. This was followed by a surprising white offensive as a stumble from Chopper sent the red left wing crashing into the boards, breaking whatever formation they were trying to use. The white forwards took possession of the puck and broke away, the two good skaters from the red team hot on their tails.

Blades scraped rapidly across the ice. By the time the red players caught up though, the puck was sailing through the air. A red glove snapped up to catch it, but not quite fast enough… BWAAAAAAAAAA!

And it was just in time for the end of the period. Players of both teams clapped each other on the back as they made their way off the ice, although one of them seemed to be giving Chopper a talking to. The reindeer flinched at words I couldn't hear, but then his back straightened. Again, I couldn't hear what was being said, but Chopper definitely responded. And from the way the person talking to him stepped back, it was pretty forceful.

"Is this a good time to get that Chopper guy out?" Usopp wanted to know. The knowledge that there was actual important stuff to do warred with my desire to see the rest of the game… Could we really just pull Chopper out like that, at this point? What if the team actually needed him? But Wapol… I didn't know when he would arrive. I opened my mouth to try and respond- not that I knew what I was going to say- but then…

Clack. Rumble. A door at one end of the rink opened to let in the Zamboni. Or at least, the One Piece equivalent. It wasn't motorized like I was used to- Drum Kingdom wasn't one of the islands at that level of technology. Instead, it was pulled by one of those white, fluffy hippos like Wapol rode. White walkies, that's what they were called. The large mammal plodded around the rink, a rider on the wagon behind it operating a hand pump.

That was so cool! My mind froze as I watched the Zamboni go around and around and around… It was no slower than an actual Zamboni, which shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. And with the fluffiness… I wanted to pet it. So much. It looked so soft…

"We're not getting that Chopper fellow or Jones out of here any time soon, are we?" Usopp asked in despair. The gunner rubbed at his temples.

Vivi sighed and shook her head. "It certainly looks that way." The princess ground her knuckles into her forehead. "If Jones is well enough to travel, we should be on our way; it takes long enough to get to Alabasta as it is."

"But I don't think she is well enough to travel." Usopp poked me in the shoulder gently, which was almost enough to send me crashing to the ground. It would have been, had I not been leaning most of my weight on the boards. "Right Lisa?"

The little girl wasn't paying attention, instead standing on tiptoes and peering over the boards. One little fist swung back and forth as a red player went crashing to the ice and the ref blew a whistle. "What're you talking about?! Falco didn't trip Konrad- you're delusional!"

One of the linesmen spared a few brief seconds to shoot Lisa a glare. She responded by flipping him off, the most adorable little 'fuck you' I'd ever seen. That only made him glare harder. Up in the announcers' box, Draper laughed.

"Oh, I like those girls down in the aisle Ron! Can we focus the den-den on them for a minute?" He grabbed a small, electric blue visual den-den and aimed it at me and Lisa for a moment. The snail blinked slowly until it was put down.

"How'd you know the players names?" Usopp asked Lisa. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes.

"They're on the back of their jerseys."

Chopper was doing a little better now. His skating hadn't actually improved, but he was getting better at timing his staggers so they looked like him checking the opposing forwards. Or at least trying to- he still missed about half the time. And he never managed to catch either of the red wings- the two good skaters, both of whom had the name Rocket across their shoulders. Brothers, then, or cousins or something.

Snick-snick-snick-snick-snick. A red player whipped fast so close the wind of his passage nearly blew my hat off. The white defenceman was right on his tail; the boards shook a second later as the two men crashed into them. I cheered as white got the puck and went racing up the ice. Each pass made a slapping noise, followed by a whoosh and thwack as it flew across the ice to the receiver. The three white forwards switched off every few seconds, trying to make up for their inferior skating skills with stick handling and teamwork. And it worked, more or less.

Slap! Swish! Tick! The puck bounced off the red goalie's helmet when he tried to block it, but not at the angle he would've liked…

BWAAAAAAH!

"He shoots, he scores!" Draper shouted from the box, waving his arms ecstatically. "Take that you red Seas fu-!"

"Language!" Ron groaned, blocking out the end of the curse. "Dammit Draper, there're kids here! You'll get fired if you don't reign it in!" The second announcer froze as he finished, realizing his unintentional hypocrisy.

Someone came up beside me and tapped my shoulder. Chills ran up my spine; maudit, had security figured us out? I looked back to see a man who would've been the picture of nondescript- brown eyes, brown hair, a little on the short side- had he not been wearing a grey trenchcoat and fedora straight out of a noir film. When he spoke, his voice was low and rough. "Are you Jones?"

The hair on the back of my neck rose. "Who's asking?" I lowered my left hand to my hip, ready to draw one of my sais. Not that I was in a condition to fight. A chirp and growl from Ruatha alerted Usopp, Vivi, and Lisa to the newcomer's presence.

"You can call me Gold Star. We have a mutual friend, a certain Blue Drake, who said I might be able to find you around here somewhere, and to take orders from you for a day or two if I found you." Gold Star nodded towards my arm. "My friend said you'd be the one with a noble's armband that didn't match any known families."

I glanced down at the white lion rampant on field azure. "Oh…" I hadn't thought about how easy that would make me to identify when I bought it. Although with the hat and the increasing number of scars… Yeah, no, I wasn't gonna have as easy a time blending into crowds as I used to, was I?

Now wasn't the time to think of that. I shook my head to clear it. Blue Drake probably meant Sabo, which meant that this guy was a Revolutionary reinforcement. Who we didn't actually need, but I hadn't known if we Straw Hats would get to Drum when I called Luffy's brother. "Are you the only one, or are there others?"

"My cell is thirteen strong, including myself," Gold Star replied. "We are all at your disposal until the threat you described to Blue Drake over the snail has passed. Also, I'm under orders to acquire a codename for you so that Blue Drake can finish his paperwork for this op before Red Bear strangles him." The revolutionary's eyes danced with mirth.

A codename? Cool. "Does it have to follow the format 'colour noun,' or can it be something else? A number or a name?"

"The format is 'adjective noun,' actually," Gold Star informed me. "And yes, it has to follow."

"White Lion, then, unless that's already taken." If I was going to be easy to spot, may as well turn it up to James Bond levels of obviousness. After all, it's not like anyone outside the Revolutionaries would be learning the name anyway. To the government, I was still just a no-bounty pirate with odd fashion sense.

Gold Star nodded. "It's not. I'll tell Blue Drake your choice. Have you any orders for us, ma'am?"

I thought for a moment. Having someone ask me for orders was an odd experience, different from when my crew mates demanded a plan. Let's see… Wapol had landed near Bighorn in canon and assaulted the villagers on his way up to the castle. I had no idea where the rest of the crew was; they could be on the Going Merry, ready to fight the king when he landed, or they could be scattered all over the island. "Set up watch near the village of Bighorn. Keep an eye out for hostiles under the command of King Wapol, but do not engage unless they look to be preparing for combat. He'll have civilians with him too, medical professionals; their safety is as high a priority as that of the villagers."

A nod. Gold Star patted some weapon hidden under his coat with a smile. "Makes sense. You can count on us. I'll head out now to talk to my men; we'll report to you if anything happens. Until later." Gold Star flipped an odd little salute- definitely not marine standard- as he turned to leave. Within seconds, he'd disappeared back into the crowd.

Turning back to the rink, I was just in time to see Chopper check one of the red Rockets, only to get a high stick to the helmet from the other as he was turning away. I winced in sympathy as the reindeer staggered, snarling at the player who'd dared hurt my gentle, fluffy future crew mate. Had I been able to do so, I probably would've leapt over the boards to defend the reindeer, the game be damned. As it was, attempting to do so would've only hurt me in my present state.

Chopper didn't need my help anyway. I gaped as the gentle, nervous doctor spun and socked his attacker, letting out a short, bestial yell. The Rocket he'd punched responded by slamming him into the boards; the two of them started to brawl. It took the ref and both linesmen coming over to break them up. Chopper and the Rocket were sent to the penalty boxes for the next five minutes, where they sat and snarled at each other.

While loss of Chopper from their defensive line didn't seem to hamper the white team very much, losing one of their Rockets certainly hurt the red. Their offensive crumbled. The Leafs got possession of the puck quickly and went racing up, their teamwork allowing them to dance around the Seas' players. A loud brass note blared when they scored.

By the time Chopper and the Rocket were out of the penalty boxes, the score was 5-3 for the Leafs. The period ended thirty seconds later, with neither team scoring in the meantime. One period left to go.

The white walkie Zamboni went around again; this time, I reached out to touch it as it lumbered past. Its fur was thick and so, so soft, kind of like an alpaca's wool. The Zamboni driver chuckled at me. Lisa pouted and stared at the white walkie, her diminutive height preventing her from reaching to imitate me. I cleared my throat and jabbed Usopp with my elbow.

"What?" the gunner asked, his voice a little snappish. I gestured to Lisa.

"Pick her up so she can reach? I'd do it, but…" I shrugged, presenting my broken arm. Immediately afterwards, my leg twitched beneath me, forcing me to lean heavily on the boards again. Usopp sighed.

"Fine, fine." The gunner picked the little girl up and held her out far enough that she could touch the white walkie the next time it came around. That made the Zamboni driver laugh outright. Lisa smiled as Usopp put her down.

Vivi sighed loudly and shot me a pointed look. "Jones, are you or are you not well enough to travel? I- we need to get to Alabasta as quickly as possible, do we not? Please… I keep thinking about Crocodile- what he could be doing to my country, my friends…"

I winced. Here it was again- my future knowledge would force me to sound cold, to come off as a monster. And it was always in relation to Vivi… "If my heart's beating and I'm breathing, I'm well enough to travel. But we can't- not yet. There's- there's something going to happen here soon that we need to help with. Wapol, the king of Dr-!"

"He's coming back, isn't he?" Vivi said bitterly. "He's going to try and retake his country by force."

Nodding mutely, I raised an eyebrow at the princess. She spoke before I could open my mouth to question her. "We ran into him on the Going Merry while you were out. It was an… unpleasant encounter. And he was never a good man anyway. That's exactly the sort of thing he would do- I can't say I'd be surprised even if the crew hadn't met him."

Right… Vivi and Wapol had met in the past, as fellow royals. "Things won't start moving in Alabasta just yet," I offered quietly. "Crocodile's still not ready, and neither are the rebels. We have time."

"Well, there's that at least." Vivi sighed softly and tugged on a strand of hair that had come loose from her ponytail. "And… It would be unfair of me to demand that we move on, knowing what Wapol intends to do. I can't very well ask you to save my country, but not another. And these people… They're so full of life, so different from my people, but the same as well. I'd hate for anything to happen to them."

Vivi smiled- both fond and sad- out at the rink, at the rowdy, brightly painted hockey fans and the vendors moving among them. Something strange welled up in my chest, an odd sort of pride maybe? I wasn't quite sure. All I knew was that suddenly, I was seeing Vivi as she could be- not the well-meaning but bratty princess I'd been travelling wit, but the future queen that had been shown in canon. She still had a long way to go- probably a very long way- but it was there.

A vendor approached my companions and I as the third period started. He was selling drinks; I purchased hot chocolate for my companions and myself. None for Ruatha though. I wasn't sure if chocolate was bad for dragons or not. Usopp whined and stared at his mug. "Jones… I'm a brave warrior of the sea! I can pay for myself!"

"Yeah, but I'd feel bad paying for Vivi and Lisa, but not you." I waved a hand dismissively and blew on my drink. The last thing I needed was to add a scalded tongue to my list of injuries. "You can get it next time."

The gunner nodded; we all turned back to the ice as the game started up again. I winced as one of the Rockets circled Chopper so fast he made the reindeer's eyes spin- and not even because he needed to. Neither of them had the puck at the time; the red player was just being a passive-aggressive jerk.

Red scored three more goals in quick succession, bringing them back into the lead. Their center was coming in for a fourth when Chopper got in his way. Up until now, the fact that Chopper's poor skating hadn't made him spend most of the game on the ice was impressive; after a head on collision with the incoming forward, it was a downright miracle that he was still upright. The red center went down like a tree; chalk one up for zoans being exceptionally sturdy, I guess. Chopper dazedly took possession of the puck and shot it up to the white center. Seconds later, a horn blared as the puck sailed into the net.

"Jackson scores!" Draper cheered from the announcers' box, "With an assist from Alan, who's finally starting to get back on his game! Don't know why his coach didn't pull him and put someone else on- guy clearly had one too many beers before the game- but-!"

"Please, for once in your life, stuff a sock in it," Ron said, rubbing his temples. Draper folded his arms.

"If they didn't want me commenting, they woulda fired me a long time ago. Stop being such a wet blanket; you don't get paid to tell me to shut up."

"Only because it's an exercise in futility not worth paying anyone for," Ron grumbled. Then he perked up. "But yes, that was a nice assist and I'm glad Alan seems to be getting back on his feet. This is a tight game folks; then again, it's been a tight season. There's no way of knowing who'll take the cup home tonight."

As if to prove his words an immediate lie, the Seas scored two goals in quick succession- and they would've gotten a third had the Leafs' goalie been a nanosecond slower. The puck bounced off his leg with a heavy thud. White took possession, only to be countered by a heavy knot of defense just over the center line. After a few seconds of struggle, they managed to outmaneuver the red defensemen, but by the time they had, the two Rockets were there and had stolen the puck again.

"Tabarnak! Come on Leafs, you can do better than this!" Draper pounded his fist on the table in front of him. Usopp looked at me in confusion. I shrugged; I didn't understand where that had come from either. That curse was based on the French Catholic church, which didn't exist in the One Piece world, so I had no idea how it was a thing here.

Another red goal. Adrenaline shot through me as play resumed; I found myself yelling again, my throat growing sore as I pounded on the boards until the force I was absorbing made me sick. "Come on Leafs! You can do it! Go Chopper, go!"

But the Seas were up by three, and time was starting to run short. The white forwards regained possession and made another foray at the red net, but the puck bounced off the goalie's hand. Red took possession and nearly scored again, with the puck pinging off the upper bar. The Rockets were everywhere now; had I been less familiar with skating, I might've suspected a Devil Fruit. As it was, they were just bloody fast.

The scrape and scratch of blades against ice filled the air. My heart beat faster; I'd never played hockey, but skating… I wanted to be out on the ice. I started shivering- a mixture of anticipation and cold made everything tingle. Which naturally made standing on my injured legs even harder… Although I didn't actually fall until Chopper checked one of the Rockets into the boards right next to where I was, causing them and me to shake violently. The reindeer took possession of the puck, but then froze, staring. He didn't have a clear line of fire to any of his teammates; there was a red player on each of them, between the doctor and all other white players.

The Rocket he'd just checked moved to take the puck back. Panicking, Chopper shot the puck off in a random direction with an echoing slap. Black rubber soared through the air, a barely visible streak arcing low over the ice. It skimmed past the red goalie's hand when he reached out to stop it, slamming into the back of the net.

BWAAAAAAAAAH!

The brass band blared. Red was still up by two, and there was little time left in the game. I let out a wordless yell as the teams clashed again, urging the Leafs on with my mind. It did no good though; the Seas and their Rockets sped around the white defense to score another goal. After that, with only thirty seconds left, there was no chance. The Leafs kept fighting hard til the end, but they couldn't get past the Seas in time. Forget the three goals they would've had to catch up on, they couldn't even get one before a horn blared to signal the end of the game.

"Aw shit!" Draper slammed his head into his table and groaned loudly. "Dammit Leafs! You were looking so good this year too! So close!"

Ron patted him on the back. "I still can't believe you're so invested in this team. You know they haven't won a game since you were a toddler. Do you even remember the last time they won the cup?"

"But they actually made the playoffs this time. I thought their fate was changing!" Draper's voice was still loud and clear, despite having his face pressed to the table. "And of course I remember- it was the greatest game I've ever seen! Why can't we have that glory every year?"

Out on the ice, the red players were celebrating, hugging and roughing each other up. The white team was far more subdued, but still laughing and high-fiving. One of the linesman disappeared for a moment, walking back onto the rink with a massive trophy in his hands. He passed it off to the Rockets, who hoisted it high with a mighty, joint cheer. "Wahoo! We did it!"

On the Leafs side of the ice, Chopper radiated happiness. A bunch of the players were talking to him at once- I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it sounded like something about how well he'd done for how poorly he was skating that day. I smiled. They were such good team players. My smile didn't last though, soon morphing into a look of terror as cold settled in my stomach.

Why? Because in a fit of enthusiasm, one of the Leafs had wrapped an arm around Chopper's shoulders from behind, giving the reindeer a noogie and, more importantly, knocking his helmet off by accident.

Everyone in the whole rink- players, announcers, and spectators- froze. Chopper flinched as his helmet fell to the ice with a clatter. Hundreds of pairs of eyes stared at him in the ensuing silence. Cringing, the reindeer stumbled across the ice towards my crew mates and I. His fear made him an even worse skater; he stumbled and fell on his face. Chopper popped into his hybrid form on instinct just before he landed- it probably hurt less to fall when he was smaller. Crawling out the neck of the jersey he'd been wearing, the little reindeer was quickly picked up by one of the men he'd been playing beside.

"Well, that certainly explains some things. What happened to Alan?"

"I'm sorry…" Faced with capture, Chopper began to babble. Tears welled up at the corners of his eyes before spilling over, tracing dark tracks through his fur. "I just wanted to watch the game, and Jones said I should borrow clothes for a disguise… I didn't mean to replace one of your teammates, and I swear I was gonna return everything. I'm so sorry!"

I waited with baited breath as the hockey player gazed at Chopper. Was I going to have to fight these people to get the reindeer out? That wasn't in the plan at all! Hopefully Usopp, Vivi, and Lisa would stand beside me if it came to that. I could probably count on Usopp and Lisa, but the princes… Eh, maybe.

"So Alan was playing hooky again, eh?" the Leafs coach grumbled from the sidelines. "This is why I don't usually put him on the starting line. When I find that boy…" His threat went unfinished.

Chopper closed his eyes, his little muzzle scrunching adorably as he cringed away from the man holding him. I growled and did my best to look threatening, despite the fact that I could barely stand. Shaking… So tired… This probably hadn't been the best of ideas as far as my wounds were concerned. "Put him down!"

To my surprise, the hockey player complied- sort of. Rather than putting Chopper down, he skated over and deposited the reindeer on the boards beside me. He ruffled the doctor's fur and smiled. "Aww, I wasn't gonna hurt him. He's a pretty cute little guy- plus, he's not bad for never having played before. I kinda feel bad about shouting at him at the end of first period, now I know he's not really Alan."

Dark brown eyes opened slowly, shining with wonder. "You- you're not scared of me?" Chopper choked out. "But… Last time I went to a town in any of my human forms, people got scared and shot at me. They called me a monster…" The reindeer's ears drooped.

I wrapped my good arm protectively around Chopper, drawing him close against my chest. Lisa hesitated for a moment, then patted him gently on the head. The hockey player looked stunned for a moment before smiling sheepishly. When he went to pat Chopper too, though, Ruatha hissed and snapped at him. Getting the message, the man took a step back.

"Well, you're an okay hockey player, and you look like a sweet little kid- I don't think anyone's gonna call you a monster anymore."

"Really?" Chopper's eyes turned into stars.

Another Leafs player skated up behind the first, stopping fast to spray his teammate with snow. "Sure, little guy! After all, you play with us, you're one of us. Besides, the shape-changing- you ate a zoan fruit, right? Like Mayor Dalton of Bighorn? And he's a pretty good guy."

Ears perking up, Chopper glanced around at the rest of the team. One by one, the Leafs players nodded. A few of the spectators sitting nearest to us did as well, their confused stares turning into small smiles. Some of the children asked their parents if they could come down and pet Chopper. When they came close, though, the nervous reindeer squeaked and hugged my arm. Vivi shook her head and knelt down to face the approaching children eye to eye.

"I know your parents said it was alright, but maybe you shouldn't. The little reindeer boy is scared right now; you don't want to upset him even more, do you?"

Half a dozen tiny heads shook in unison. One little girl- who couldn't have been more than three- pouted and fiddled with the blue and white flag she was holding. "But he looks so snuggly…"

"He does. But he's very scared right now; this is all new to him. You wouldn't like it if a bunch of people you'd never met came up to you and started pinching your cheeks and playing with your hair, would you?"

The little girl shook her head at Vivi's words. She trotted back to her mother, one thumb tucked into her mouth while she clutched her flag like it was a blanket. Vivi smiled fondly at the children as they wandered away.

Heavy footsteps rapidly approaching made me stiffen and Usopp jump. Turning around, I saw a grinning Draper striding towards us around the rink. Wow, he moved fast. Also… MY EYES! That suit was blinding at close range. The gold in the plaid glinted and shone- probably actual gold thread then, as ridiculously expensive and hard to make as that stuff was- and the purple was the most absolutely electric shade I could imagine. I didn't even know that was a thing! It was like someone had summoned a new shade of purple from beyond the edges of the multiverse solely for the purpose of making my eyes smart.

"Ehohohohoho! You've got balls kid, I'll give you that!" Draper went to clap Chopper on the back. He froze at the last moment when he spotted the dazed, still scared expression on the little reindeer's face, and the way the doctor was huddling against my chest. The announcer rubbed sheepishly at the back of his head, as if that's what he'd meant to do all along. "Seriously though, sneaking into the playoff finals takes guts."

Chopper perked up in confusion at the sound of approval in Draper's voice. "I didn't mean to- the coach mistook me for someone else. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry; be proud! Sure, compared to the other guys, you may've sucked, but for someone who's never played before, you did awesome. Keep skating; you've got talent. Could be a great player someday. So, you're a Leafs fan, eh?"

Shrinking slightly, Chopper shook his head. "I- I've never gotten to watch any big games before. Just kids' games. I don't know anything about the major teams…"

Draper's eyes went wide; his face turned red. It didn't match his suit at all. Chopper cringed, shrinking even more, his ears drooping until they were plastered to the sides of his neck. But Draper wasn't angry at him, as was revealed a moment later. "How can such a thing be allowed? A native of Drum Kingdom not knowing the teams of the DHL- it's unheard of!"

"Sorry…" Chopper flinched again. Draper shook his head.

"No, no, it's not your fault. Here; I know just the thing to help." The loud announcer- seriously, at this close range his voice was murder on my ears- pulled a book out of one of his suit's oversized pockets and shoved it in the reindeer's direction. Chopper grabbed it dazedly, his fearful cringing turning into a confused smile. He began flipping through almost immediately, his ears rising as he no longer felt threatened. Draper smiled and leaned on the boards.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard faint explosions, like fireworks going off on the other end of the island. Or gunshots. Sounded like Wapol and his men were landing, and the Revolutionaries were taking care of it. Which honestly… That could've been bad for recruitment. If Wapol himself was beaten before getting to the castle, Luffy and Chopper wouldn't get a chance to fight him together and bond. But if there was one thing I was sure of about Wapol, it was that he would throw as many men as he needed to at the problem in order to allow himself to sneak by without being shot.

Cowardly bastard.

Chopper should probably get back up to the castle soon, so he could meet Luffy before they dealt with Wapol together. I opened my mouth to say something, but… Chopper was getting so much joy out of his book. His eyes were wide and dark as they scanned the pages, a small smile creasing his muzzle and his ears perking forwards. I couldn't bring myself to ruin the moment for him. Snuggling with the tiny reindeer, a smile grew over my own face.

Although… Hopefully he'd still want to come be a pirate after being accepted by the people of Drum via hockey obsession.

Lisa wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned into my side- a motion that supported me as much as displaying her inexplicable affection. The little girl craned her neck to peer at Chopper's book; when he realized that, the reindeer shifted in my arm and angled the book so Lisa could read it more easily. Usopp and Vivi stared at us with confusion… and longing?

Around us, more and more people were coming to see Chopper, although they did keep a respectful distance. I did my best to shield the reindeer from prying eyes, but truth be told, their staring was making me uncomfortable too. They were all too close, too loud, too much… I wanted to clap my hands over my ears and curl up into a ball- I probably would have, but for two things. One, I only had one good arm right now, and two, I was using said good arm to snuggle a fluffy reindeer.

…

Okay, there were other factors as well, like the presence of my friends giving me more confidence, and the fact that I couldn't bend my legs enough to curl into a little ball. But the two things list sounds better.

Even the red team was coming over to see Chopper. Well, most of them; the Rockets held back. One of the red defensemen even came close enough to ruffle Chopper's fur before I noticed him. The reindeer glanced up in curious, nervous awe; I jumped backwards into Usopp in surprise. Which of course sent bolts of pain through my legs and back. The defenseman chuckled sheepishly.

"Sorry- didn't mean to startle you. Just wanted to see if the little guy was as fluffy as he looked."

I opened my mouth to tell the man off, but one of his teammates beat me to it. By cracking him over the head with a hockey stick. "Ralph… At least ask first."

"Sorry…"

This whole thing- being surrounded by celebrating hockey players and curious spectators- could've gone on for a long time. I could see the Rockets pulling out a keg of beer from somewhere under the stands. The band was playing loudly, an unfamiliar song this time, and people were starting to dance on the ice. Many of them weren't even wearing skates, which wasn't the best idea. But the burgeoning party was halted in less than half an hour by the sound of marching feet. Many, many marching feet.

Actually, having enough men marching towards us that they could be heard over a brass band was kind of impressive. Everyone streamed out of the rink to see who or what was coming, from the smallest children up to Draper and the hockey players. I continued to hold Chopper as I moved, although the little reindeer was no longer engrossed in his new hockey book.

Soldiers were approaching over the rise, from the direction I assumed Bighorn was in. At the same time, Johnny, Yosaku, and Nami were coming down the road from a different direction. They saw the soldiers before the soldiers were in a position to see them, allowing Nami to grab the hunters and drag them into a clump of trees to hide.

Black coats with fluffy white trim- over a hundred of them. I didn't remember Wapol having that many men in canon, but what was more concerning was that there were still so many left after whatever the Revolutionaries had done when they were landing. I didn't see any sign of Wapol, Chess, or Kuromarimo though. Which meant those three were probably still on their way to the castle.

Chopper's fear made him turn into his animal form, legs flailing as his instincts demanded he run away from all the men carrying guns. A sharp hoof tore along my arm as I tried to calm the reindeer down. "Shh, it's alright Choppy. They won't get you."

The flailing and eye rolling stopped, although Chopper was still shaking like a leaf. "You're sure? How can you be sure? There's so many of them, and they have guns!"

"But none of them are going to shoot you." I set the reindeer down beside me; holding him with one arm was getting taxing. Chopper shook.

"What makes you think that?"

"Because you won't be here." I nudged the reindeer towards the nearest ropeway. "Wapol and a couple of his top men are headed up to the castle. They're going to try and kick Kureha out, and there's a giant cannon in there that they'll use to threaten and control the island."

"The armoury…" Chopper breathed. I nodded.

"Luffy, Sanji, and Ghin can probably defend the castle well enough," I mused, hoping it would provoke the reaction I thought it would. And it did, with Chopper pawing at the snow and tossing his head.

"But… But the castle is my home; I'm the one who should defend it. And they're injured; they shouldn't be fighting! Especially the one with the broke foot- Ghin, I think- he can barely walk!"

A small smile grew on my face. "If you're certain about that, you should probably get going." The soldiers were starting to close ranks. None of them seemed to be paying any attention to the reindeer, but it was only a matter of time.

Chopper hesitated for a moment before nodding. Then… "But, what will you do? What about all these soldiers?"

I patted him on the neck and nudged the reindeer again. "Don't worry about us. We're gonna play a game with these guys."

"Really? What kind of game?" Chopper's frown indicated something more along the lines of Really? A game now? Are you crazy? These guys could shoot you! But maybe I was just reading too much into things.

"Of course." I grinned, drawing a sai with my good hand as Lisa disentangled herself from my waist and pulled out her paints. "It's one of our crew's favourite games- Whack-a-Mook."

The look Chopper shot me told me on no uncertain terms that he'd lost any confidence he had in my sanity. To be fair, I had too. I mean, I'd always enjoyed a good fight, but there were so many, and they had guns. Even if I was willing to jump in anyway, where was my fear? There should be at least some, but all I was feeling was excitement.

Then again, I suppose after nearly being eaten by a T-Rex, human adversaries didn't seem nearly as scary, even if there were a lot of them.

Chopper shook his head and cantered away before the soldiers finished closing ranks, apparently deciding to put the question of my madness of until a later date. None of the soldiers even looked at him; apparently, he was at most a pet that was running away in fear, and thus there was no point in shooting at him. Oh boy, were they in for a surprise later. Assuming they were still around later. Once everyone who'd been in the rink was surrounded, one of the soldiers stepped forwards. He had some sort of insignia pinned to his coat, although I had no idea what it meant.

"By order of King Wapol, all citizens of Drum who didn't come to greet his glorious return are under arrest, pending trial on his reclamation of the royal palace." The soldier scowled and shifted, as if preparing for a fight. "We are authorized to use force- up to and including lethal force- on all who resist. Also, by decree of King Wapol, hockey is now outlawed in Drum Kingdom."

That was exactly the wrong thing to say in front of what amounted to a bunch of Canadians. Especially when they outnumbered you. Although, to be fair, the soldiers had guns and the players and spectators didn't. Still, that didn't seem to stop anyone. Draper and Ron glared at the speaking soldier, before the former glanced at all the nearby hockey players. "Boys, get the kids somewhere safe."

"But we wanna help," whined a little boy who couldn't have been more than seven. He held a hockey stick the way- well, the way little kids think you're supposed to hold a sword. The player named Ralph picked the boy up with a grim smile.

"No can do, kid. You heard the coach's orders. We've gotta keep you safe."

Of course, no one could go anywhere easily due to being surrounded- even if we outnumbered the people surrounding us. And I had to agree with the hesitation. My own fear may have been taking a sabbatical, but if moving made the soldiers shoot at the kids… I wasn't sure if they would, but they were in Wapol's employ, so it couldn't be ruled out.

I could still hear gunshots from Bighorn's direction. Not sure what was happening, but hopefully the Revolutionaries were alright. There was no time to worry about that at the moment though; had to focus on what was right in front of me first. I glanced at Usopp and Lisa. "Either of you have a distraction?"

That drew all the soldiers' attention to me- I hadn't exactly kept my voice down. And while that wasn't what I'd been going for, it distracted them for just that fraction of a second, long enough for a slingshot to whip out and an arc of colour to splash across the nearest men. Snow exploded into the air as soldiers staggered around, mumbling and twitching at things I couldn't see. Flames leapt up from the snow in brief flashes, only to be immediately doused by melting water.

"Usopp Sure-Kill Fire Star- Storm!"

"Hallucination Hot Pink!"

"Newton's Second!" Not to be left out, I stomped and released a burst of force, shaking the ground and sending up a shockwave of snow that knocked some of the soldiers over. Between the three of us, we created a wide opening- one that the hockey players and a number of women took, leading the children in the crowd away from the army and quickly sequestering them in the Zamboni… barn. Which left the poor Zamboni walkie out in the open, but the soldiers weren't paying it any attention.

My own distraction technique dropped me as well, though. I winced; Lisa shook her head and pulled me to my feet. "Oops! Just remembered; I worked this out yesterday. Get-Well Soon Gold!"

A splash of shimmering colour bloomed across my chest. It sent a rush of wellbeing flooding through me, adrenaline and endorphins. This was good. I grinned, flipping a sai around in my good hand, ready for a fight. Lisa shook her head again and poked me.

"Hey, don't rely on that too much. It makes you feel better, but I don't think it'll help you heal much faster. Maybe a little though."

That dampened my mood slightly- note to self, teach Lisa that placebo effects don't generally work as well if you know about them. It would be a useful lesson for her techniques. I immediately blocked off the part of my brain that was thinking about that, minimizing the destruction of the good feeling. It worked, mostly. Despite my wounds, I was no longer shaking- I even felt strong.

BANG! A gun fired as the soldiers regained their feet. Ruatha hissed- maudit, I'd forgotten to send him off with the kids. That was when fear finally caught up with me, despite the paint-induced feeling of strength. Because paint or no paint, my mobility was still hampered by stiffness, bandages, and my cast. I had one working limb; how was I supposed to fight?

With my brains and cartoon science, of course. I released a second burst of force, this one stronger, giving it everything I had. "Newton's Second! Ruatha, spit!"

"Fus! Roh! Dah!" Great gobs of dragon spit hit three of the nearest soldiers in the face as they fell onto their backs. This, more than my force bursts, was what seemed to get people's attention.

"She must be the ringleader! After her!" The lead soldier's face turned red as he yelled, pointing at me before he'd even gotten up. Of course, since this was the reaction I'd been going for- more or less- I was already on the move.

"Please, Perkunas, don't let them remember they have guns! Make them forget they have guns!" I scrambled through the snow as quickly as I could, racing into the town proper. Or stumbling, more like. My prayer went… partially answered. A group of five soldiers came after me, and it did indeed take them a minute to start shooting. And when they did start shooting, the bullets all rained down far away from me. Each one sent up a little splash of snow.

Wow. These guys had even worse aim than me. Who do I thank for this- the deity I was praying to, or my writer? Sometimes this meta thing gets confusing.

I ducked into the first open doorway I found- an outhouse. Bullets pinged off the walls for a moment, then silence. I waited with baited breath. Were they going to-? A lone shadow approached. They were. Sending a lone guy in to come after me… Well, I suppose the door was only wide enough for one of them to come through at a time, and the outhouse was rather small.

TONG! I swung my sai into the approaching soldier's forehead as he came through the door. He blinked, dazed but still upright, so I hit him again. This time did the trick, sending the man keeling over.

More bullets pinged off the outhouse. A few even flew in the open door, although I had never left my place of concealment off to the side. Most of the bullets plopped into the toilet, but one ricocheted off a mirror and buried itself into the wall next to my head. Too close… My heartrate sped up, breath coming in ragged pants for a few seconds. I got it under control as quickly as I could.

Tabarnak… What was I supposed to do now? Even if they had aim worse than mine, there were a lot of bullets out there. Moving would be monumentally stupid, unless… They had to reload sometime. But even then, what? I had one working limb; my usual fighting style wouldn't work.

I didn't have time to think about that. Seconds later I heard a quartet of clicks as the remaining soldiers ran out of ammo and paused to reload. Now was my chance. I stepped out of the outhouse, flipping my sai around as I desperately sought for ideas. Most of the sai techniques I knew from karate required more movement than I was capable of, just like any of my unarmed techniques… So I'd have to use a technique from somewhere else, somewhere that didn't require movement from anywhere but my left arm and a little bit of walking.

Got it.

I dropped my arm against my side as I approached the nearest soldier, then brought it up and slammed my sai into his floating ribs from below. The motion of my arm and a flick of my wrist brought my weapon up so the monouchi was resting on my left shoulder. "Azure Edge!"

So it was a sword technique from a video game, big deal. It worked well enough. I grabbed more techniques from the same series- although a different character- launching them as quickly as I could at the soldiers who were fumbling to reload their guns.

"Lightning Tiger Blade!" A rapid up and around swing that caught him in both the jaw and the temple knocked the soldier to the ground.

"Demon Fang!" I slammed the tsukagashira of my sai into one man's solar plexus. A flick of my wrist sent the tsumi and saki rolling through, jabbing in quick succession. He wouldn't be breathing easily any time soon.

"Omega Tempest!" Spinning to strike the guy sneaking up behind me in the neck hurt my stiffened legs, but it was worth it. I followed up with another jaw and temple swing like I'd used on his companion. "Lightning Tiger Blade!"

Ca-click! The last soldier raised his gun and pointed it at my head just as I turned to face him. Point-blank range- he couldn't possibly miss, but I could reach to hit him too. Cold steel pressed a ring into my forehead; a thrill of fear ran down my spine. I covered up the terror with a mad grin, hoping that if I seemed threatening enough, the soldier wouldn't be able to see me shaking. "Sesehihihihihi!"

"Surrender, criminal scum." The soldier paused. Confusion grew across his face as, after about thirty seconds of me laughing, he realized that I had no intention of listening to him. That emotion started to give way to fear. "I- I don't get it. I could kill you where you stand! Why are you still smiling?!"

"Because… I… am not left handed. Azure Edge!" I aimed higher than I had on his companion, my sai striking this man in the arm instead of the ribs, knocking his gun upwards. With the muzzle pointing harmlessly at the sky, I was safe to move in. I stole his breath, and then his consciousness. "Demon Fang! Lightning Tiger Blade!"

The soldier's face was still a mask of confusion as he fell. I couldn't stop laughing, not even sure why. Maybe it was adrenaline; maybe I found the idea of using video game techniques with the wrong weapon hilarious; maybe I was just going insane. It didn't matter. Still cackling like the Joker, I moved back towards the main body of the army. Not that there were many left, between Usopp, Vivi, Lisa, and the enraged citizens of Drum Kingdom. As I got closer to the primary fight, I saw many, many men laid out on the ground with missing teeth, the bruises and dents in their heads shaped suspiciously like the hockey sticks that many of the locals were wielding with abandon.

Seriously, Wapol shouldn't have tried to outlaw hockey in One Piece Canada.

Johnny, Yosaku, and Nami had joined the fray- or rather, the hunters had, while the sailing master was slipping through the battle like a ghost. She didn't hit anyone, nor did anyone hit her, and at first I wasn't sure what she was even doing. Then I caught a glimpse of her quick-moving hands, picking the pockets of Wapol's men. Many of the soldiers- distracted by paint-induced hallucinations or flaming bullets- probably wouldn't have noticed her presence if she'd been screaming in their faces.

Lisa smiled at me as I entered the battlefield, the little girl carefully targeting soldiers from behind a thus far impenetrable barrier formed by Usopp and Vivi. The gunner and the princess, despite not being the strongest fighters, were both adept at taking out opponents from a distance. The area they defended was occupied not just by Lisa, but by one of Wapol's men as well. Unlike many of his frantic compatriots, this soldier smiled serenely at everyone, a swath of green splashed across his chest. Aww, Lisa had captured one for questioning. She was such a good girl.

Even without having an exact count, though, I could tell there were some soldiers missing. Tabarnak. Where had they gone? I was more worried about the missing soldiers than the few I could see that were still conscious. Not knowing where a man is makes it easy for him to shoot you in the back. I spun slowly in place, looking for any sign of the men. Although, in the end, I didn't see the signs- I heard them. Footsteps, cocking guns, slipping, and cursing, all from the rink surface.

They were going after the kids and hockey players- probably to arrest the athletes. Not on my watch, pal.

I didn't know how many men I'd be facing, or what kind of assistance I could or could not expect, so I needed a distraction. Something big and weird; something so out there even the most hardened soldier would hesitate when he saw it. Or, failing that…

Yes.

The Zamboni walkie was meandering around near the edge of the battlefield, unsure what to do with itself. So I took it upon myself to give the beast some direction. Climbing onto its back, not bothering to remove the Zamboni rig, I grabbed the reins and did my best to guide the walkie into the rink. After a moment of confusion- he wasn't used to going in and out through the main gate, poor dear- I succeeded. And the look on the faces of the ten soldiers who were in there searching for the kids and hockey players?

Absolutely priceless.

My laughter started up again, something uncontrollable and mad bubbling in my chest. The men stared up at me in confusion, their guns hanging limply from their hands. "Sesehihihihihi! You're about to be hit by a Zamboni!"

That shouldn't have been funny. It really shouldn't have been. Whether mechanical or pulled by a great, fluffy hippo, a Zamboni hitting someone was bound to do serious injury at the very least. These men were only following the orders of their corrupt king; none of this was their fault. But while I was by no means trying to make them suffer, I wasn't exactly concerned about it either. And I certainly wasn't slowing the plodding steps of my mount.

Just before the Zamboni walkie trundled into them, the soldiers figured out that I wasn't just bluffing or playing chicken. By then, though, if they'd raised their guns against me, they would've been run over for real. So they dove to the side, most abandoning their firearms in their haste. Wood and steel was ground into the ice beneath the Zamboni walkie's heavy feet, producing a tremendous crunching noise.

"Ruatha, spit!"

"Fus! Roh! Dah!" Three soldiers suddenly found themselves wiping sticky dragon slobber out of their eyes. I wondered briefly if it stung, or if they'd closed their eyes in time.

Jumping down off the Zamboni walkie, I winced in pain. My wounds were not happy to be moving around so much. Lisa's gold paint helped me supress it though, so I could still fight. Still grinning like mad, although not laughing for the moment, I plowed into the nearest soldier with a combination I was coming to love. "Demon Fang! Lightning Tiger Blade!"

"Hrrrrrraaagh!" Ruatha jumped off my shoulder and into another soldier's face, distracting the man before he could attack me. Tiny teeth tore into the man's nose, with little claws shredding his coat as my baby fought to keep his hold. The soldier flailed wildly, unable to see- or apparently think- with a dragon clinging to him.

The world narrowed, until all I could see or hear was the next opponent. I kept the Zamboni walkie nearby, a mobile wall against anyone trying to come up on my back. Although… If anyone tried to hurt the walkie to get to me, there would be nine kinds of Hell to pay. I turned to stab rapidly and repeatedly at the next soldier, forcing him back and poking small, bleeding holes in his arms and chest. "Sword Rain!"

Someone clocked me as I was finishing the technique, sending me crumpling to my knees even as I knocked my target onto his back. I rolled through the snow to avoid being kicked. Ow, ow, ow… Then heavy boots met a dadao with a thudding clang, as Yosaku stepped between me and the attacking soldier. "Leave Big Sis alone! She's still hurt!"

"Tha-!" Whatever the soldier was about to say was cut off as Johnny came in from behind and clubbed him over the head with the pommel of his weapon.

Ruatha scrambled to join us as I hauled myself to my feet. Ow… pain and stiffness. Three-and-a-half Straw Hats against eight soldiers, one of whom was already injured. Those bastards didn't have a chance. My grin grew wider as I considered the situation; Johnny and Yosaku weren't far behind. Merde, even Ruatha had his mouth cracked open in a toothy dragon smile. Very slowly, I raised my sai to my face and licked along the monouchi, relishing the shiver it sent down the soldier's spines.

And for anyone thinking "Well, at least it's safer than licking a sword, since it has no blade or anything," keep in mind that this was the middle of a Drum Island winter. I'm very lucky that my tongue didn't stick to my weapon. That would've been embarrassing.

Seconds later, the sounds of fighting died down outside the arena. Usopp, Nami, Vivi, and Lisa came in, the latter leading her captured soldier by the hand. One of the men Johnny, Yosaku, and I were facing saw them and gestured to his allies. A couple of the men made faces and whimpered as they realized they had no hope of winning.

Quiet tinkling sounded in the ensuing silence, a yellow puddle growing around one soldier's boot. Wapol's men weren't very brave, were they?

"Who's the least embarrassing to surrender to?" one soldier hissed at his nearest ally. The man in question shrugged.

"Any other time, I'd say the guys with the swords… But they've got a little girl with mind-control paints and a madwoman with a dragon on her shoulder."

The first one to speak nodded. "Well, then, the choice is obvious."

All eight remaining soldiers turned to bow to Usopp. And I mean full on, kneeling in the snow, formal bow. "Please sir, save us from this madness!"

Poor Usopp looked torn. On the one hand, people were surrendering to him, which must've been puffing up his ego. On the other, he looked like he had about as much of an idea what to do with them as a snowball would've known about travelling in Hell. He didn't respond at all, his face a mask of confusion. Words niggled at the back of my mind in the ensuing silence, until the urge to say them grew far too strong to resist. I spoke up softly, half-expecting one of my friends from Earth to come and stop me.

"This isn't madness; this is One Piece."

A moment later, a bottle bounced off my head. I frowned at Nami, who was putting on such a façade of exaggerated innocence that it was clear she wanted me to know she was the one who'd thrown it. "What was that for?"

"I don't know," the sailing master admitted- although at least she had the courtesy to look somewhat sheepish. "For some reason, I just felt like I really, really needed to hit you for saying that."

"Of course." I rolled my eyes and glanced up at the sky. "And no, I will not let it die- that's even more of a classic than Arrow to the Knee! And on a similar topic… You just lost The Game!"

Johnny sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Big Sis… I know you like creeping prisoners out and all, but do you have to do that in front of us? It's kinda freaky."

"That had nothing to do with creeping the prisoners out and everything to do wi- oh, forget it. It doesn't matter." I waved a hand at the blue hunter as I pulled away from his hold. Hobbling around so I was standing in front of the men we'd captured, I put my hand on my hip and bent to look them in the eyes. "Now, as for you guys… What was going on at Bighorn and why did Wapol send you here?"

The ones kneeling in the snow slowly paled, but said nothing. As for the one Lisa had splashed with paint… "His highness was angry that no one had welcomed him at the port, so he sent us to mete out justice. As we were leaving, the second company engaged a small militia force that was trying to prevent the king and his brother from heading up to his castle- but they were ambushed in turn by snipers hidden in the snow."

And his brother? Since when does Wapol have a brother? Putting that aside with a shrug, I glanced over at Lisa, my eyebrows raised in surprise. "Is that just Calming Green, or…?"

"A little bit of Truthful Turquoise too, as an experiment." The little girl shrugged. "I'm trying to develop some new colours, since my usual ones didn't work on you."

"…You know I'll just turn the symbolism around on you again if you try and attack me, even with these new ones, right?" I shifted away, slightly worried despite my words. Some of these new colours might not be so easy to come up with alternate symbolism for- like Hallucination Hot Pink.

"Yeah." Lisa shrugged again. "I wasn't planning on using them on you though. But you might not be the only person who can do that either."

"Fair enough." Glancing around at my crew mates, I bit my lip. "So… Who wants to be on clean-up duty, and who wants to go up to the castle to check on three monsters and out future doctor. And possibly to act as my human shield, since there's a doctor up there who's most definitely not happy with me right now."

Usopp shook his head, pulling himself out of his stupor. "If you don't wanna see this doctor person, why not just head back to the Merry? You could hide out there."

"Even if I go to the Merry first, I have to go back up at least briefly. I'm wearing some of the homicidal doctor lady's clothes." A sweep of my arm indicated the shimmering outfit I was adorned with. It was at that moment that everyone seemed to realize that I currently lacked sleeves and pants.

"HOW ARE YOU NOT A POPSICLE?!"

I shrugged. "Canadian figure skater. It's in the blood."

Unfortunately, taking the time to go back to the Going Merry for my own clothes would make me very late- I would never get to see Luffy and Chopper fight Wapol. Not that I was likely to see that anyway. The fight was probably over by now, or would be by the time we got up the ropeway. I was considering the options when Johnny rolled his eyes.

"Let's head on up, Big Sis. Big Bro Ghin's up in the castle, yeah?"

"Yeah…" I was confused. "Why's that important?"

"Big Bro Ghin probably has some of your clothes with him, kinda like the bandages he keeps on him." Johnny rolled his eyes, as if that answer should've been obvious. "This isn't the first time you've taken clothing damage; I bet he's prepared."

"If you're sure…" I doubted it, but Yosaku nodded agreement with Johnny's analysis. Still, I couldn't help but be skeptical. After all, in the past I'd never wrecked my pants as well as my shirt- and even when I'd damaged a shirt, we'd been on the ship where I could easily get another before the ruined one was removed and thrown out.

Usopp shook his head, breaking out of his confused stupor. "Hang on a second guys. If we're heading up to the castle… What do we do with these guys?" The gunner gestured at the soldiers, still kneeling in front of him.

It was Vivi who answered, shooting a sad look at the men in the snow. "We'll have to knock them out and tie them up- the rest of them too. Otherwise they might shoot the people living here." She didn't look as squeamish at this suggestion as I half-expected. Really, it was so hard for me to tell how Vivi would react to anything. Sometimes she seemed like a brat, sometimes a decent spy, sometimes a caring monarch… I gave up trying to predict her.

The soldiers protested at the idea of being knocked out, their words coming out garbled and panicky as they started talking over each other. My sai quickly overruled their objections. I gave Usopp my tape so he could bind the soldiers up; it would've been hard for me to do with just one hand.

By the time my companions and I left the rink, the Drum Kingdom citizens had performed similar operations on the other unconscious soldiers outside. I saw Draper as we left; he nodded at us as he bound one of Wapol's men with hockey tape. The announcer cocked his head to the side in a silent question. I grinned. "Ten on the rink- and five by one of the outhouses in town. Make sure you send someone to tie them up too."

"Will do." Draper nodded again. "Thanks."

I showed my crew mates to the ropeway Chopper and I had come down. Nami looked at the rope skeptically. "Are you sure this is for climbing up to the castle?"

"If Chopper can come down with me on his back, we can make it up there climbing. The ropes can take our weight." Balance was a little more uncertain. The rough, heavy hemp was the thickest rope I'd ever seen- about as big around as my thigh- but that still wasn't exactly comforting. We'd be hanging onto that rope several hundred meters up in the air at some point, after all. Again, I was amazed that Chopper was able to canter up and down the ropeways with such confidence on his little hooves.

"How do we-?" Usopp stared up at the rope in awe. Johnny and Yosaku whistled appreciatively, the massive rope appealing to their roguish appreciation of traps and secret paths.

Trying to just walk up the ropes would be stupid- anyone with poor balance or a fear of heights would've frozen and fallen. I might have been able to make it were I at full health, but I wasn't a hundred percent confidant in that. So instead of standing, I climbed onto the rope and started to crawl upwards- although even doing that, my balance wasn't the best, what with having one arm out of commission. I was several meters up when my companions realized what I was doing. Usopp squawked in surprise; Lisa made a disgusted face.

"Can I stay down here?" the little girl wanted to know. Nami shook her head.

"No. We're all going up; we can't leave you down here alone."

"But-!"

Lisa's protest was cut off by Nami pinching her ear. "No. You're coming. It's not safe for you to be alone; what if more of Wapol's soldiers come?"

"Fine…" Lisa climbed onto the rope and began crawling up behind me. Nami and Vivi followed, then Usopp, with the hunters bringing up the rear. Glances back over my shoulder showed extreme discomfort on Lisa's face. She kept wincing and looking at her hands. And then, not five minutes into the climb, the painter began to whine.

"My arms are tired. How much longer until we get there?"

I wasn't sure what to say to that. We had a long way to go, and it would be even longer if she complained the whole way. For a few minutes I elected to ignore her, but then Lisa began groaning and sighing. Not loudly, but the sounds were regular, frequent, and annoying. Even Ruatha thought so; he hid his head under one wing with a chattering sigh of his own. Eventually it grew to be too much for me. I stopped crawling and clung tight to the rope with my legs, turning as much as I could to look Lisa in the eye.

"Look, I know you're a kid, but that doesn't mean anyone's gonna go easy on you. Complaining won't make this go any faster, so you're better off focusing on climbing."

"But I'm tired," was her response. And to be fair, her arms were trembling with exertion already. Lisa pouted up at me. I frowned. She ignored the expression, continuing to speak. "I'm an artist, not a warrior, and I'm little."

"And I'm injured," I snapped, losing my patience. "You're an artist? I'm doing this with one hand. You'll never get stronger if you give up, or try and worm your way out of everything. Being little is no excuse, so kwitcherbellyakin."

Lisa stared, taken aback. I felt a little bad about snapping at her, but just a little. She had to learn; while being pirates meant we were free, it didn't give us an excuse to be lazy. It was the opposite, in fact. And even if she didn't end up joining us, complaining never helped anybody. I sighed and extended a hand as a peace offering. "Look, I know it can be hard, but you need to learn to suck it up and work it out. Complaining just wastes energy better put into climbing or fighting."

"But it hurts." Lisa copied me, wrapping her legs around the rope to sit up and free her arms. She rubbed them, wincing as her delicate limbs shook. I sighed again.

"Yeah, I know it can hurt. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." How could I get her to put more effort in? I needed something inspiring… That would do it. Too bad I couldn't sing worth beans. "Listen, whenever you feel like giving up, remember these words. They helped me through a difficult part of my training, so they might do the same for you."

Deep breath, and pray my raspy voice didn't butcher this too badly. "Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men? It's the music of the people who will not be slaves again. When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums, there's a life about to start when tomorrow comes."

A pained expression crossed Lisa's face. She didn't say anything though. Nami, meanwhile, let out a strained laugh. "Well Jones, if she needs motivation, she can always imagine you're chasing her, singing."

I stuck my tongue out at the sailing master, but didn't respond. She was right, after all. But at least Lisa started moving when I did, and she didn't start complaining right away. Or even five minutes later.

Rough hemp wore at my knees as I climbed, tearing at the bandages on my legs. The nearly-healed raptor bites underneath put up a token protest, stinging in a way that I could only describe as polite and subdued. Which was weird. But given my recent bout of laughing madness, and all the other things I'd been taking in stride the last couple months, politeness from my own injured body was pretty low on the totem pole of things I should worry about.

Climbing up the ropeway on hands and knees took a lot longer than coming down on a cantering reindeer. Rather than a few minutes, we were climbing for the better part of two hours. By the end, the bandages on my legs and my good arm had more or less all frayed off. While my hand was fine, my legs and forearm were developing shiny patches of raw, not-quite-bleeding skin. Not that I could feel them over the cold- as much as I was used to dealing with them, -20 temperatures still made my limbs numb and my fingers stiff. Especially on my broken arm, which wasn't moving.

When we got to the top, the first thing I saw was a flattened, battered battleground in front of the castle. Snow had been flung up everywhere, with patches of bare rock showing through. Some areas even looked scorched. I saw the unconscious form of Chessmarimo, still in his combined form, lying draped across a rock. A little blood dribbled from his nose.

The top of one of the towers was broken, shattered as if it had been punched by a giant fist. Hiriluk's flag- the Jolly Roger with the sakura petals- flapped on a stick that had been jammed between two pieces of broken brick. That same tower had a couple of windows blown out on the middle levels. Well, it was the largest tower in the castle. If the fighting had gone inside, there was a good chance some of it had taken place in there.

One half of the castle gate had also been ripped off its hinges. A huge bite appeared to have been taken out of it.

Lisa reached out to grab my hand as we walked into the castle. I was startled, too startled to pull away. Up on my shoulder, Ruatha wrapped his tail around my neck. Nami snapped her staff together as everyone entered, which prompted Usopp, Johnny, and Yosaku to prepare their weapons. Only Vivi looked calm, for reasons I couldn't understand. She hadn't seen Luffy in action the way we had; why was she so confident if those of us who were actually on the crew were still paranoid?

There was no one in the main hall, so we headed up for the stairs. Only, just before we got there, a hand came out of a doorway and grabbed me by the ear. Johnny and Yosaku yelped into surprise as I was pulled to the side and slammed into a wall by… Ghin.

"And where were you?' Tabarnak. That was the mom voice- hadn't heard that in a while.

"Meep," was my eloquent reply. Ghin scowled. He was leaning on a crutch, heavily favouring his right foot. This didn't serve to make him any less intimidating. Which was… unusual. While I knew theoretically that he was capable of being ruthless and scary, he'd never turned that on me- not even when we'd fought at the Baratie. I stared down at the stone, unable to meet Ghin's eye. He didn't seem to notice.

"You almost died Jones! What were you thinking, running off without even telling us? Do you have any idea how worried Don Luffy was? How worried I was?"

"Um…" I actually found myself gripping Lisa's hand harder. Ruatha cowered, trying to hide himself in my ponytail.

Glancing at Ghin's through my bangs revealed creased eyebrows and unusually sharp shadows cast by his headband. His eyes themselves were glowing a dim red, more subdued than ever happened to Nami or Sanji, but still there. And really, it was all the scarier for the fact that I'd never seen Ghin do any of the strange biology things that plagued everyone else.

He released my ear. Strong arms wrapped around my shoulders, holding me close and sending a twinge of pain down my broken arm. Ghin was actually shaking as he pulled me into his chest. I wanted to pull away- too close, couldn't move, couldn't breathe- but he was too much stronger than me. His voice cracked when he spoke again.

"Don't- don't do anything like that again. I've already lost one little sister- I can't lose you too." Wow, I must've scared him big time. Yeah, Ghin had some big brother tendencies, but this was really out of character. I froze.

"Sorry…"

It took a long minute for Ghin to release me. And really, he only did so when Nami cleared her throat. "So… It looks like a war went on outside. What happened up here?"

"Up here?" Ghin's eyes started turning red again. "What happened to you?"

"Went to a hockey game, met some revolutionary contacts, and beat up a bunch of Wapol's men." I said quickly. Ghin looked like he was about to demand more details, but Nami stopped him with a raised eyebrow. Shooting me a look that said we would most definitely be talking about this later, Ghin began his story.

X

Doctor Kureha burst into the room where the three men were sleeping, her face a mask of anger that would've cared a sea king shitless. "Where is she?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Where's who?"

"Your little friend, the one who got bitten by a Tyrannosaurus." Kureha began searching under the beds- and none too gently at that. She was using a scalpel to poke around underneath. "I went to perform some tests and she was gone. And my apprentice with her. If she's done anything to him…"

"Don't worry about that, Madame. Jones would never hurt a child." Sanji went to light a cigarette, but a glare from Kureha stopped him in his tracks. Then the doctor looked hesitant for a moment before sighing.

"He's not just a child," she said, her voice taking on a worried, bitter tone. "He's a reindeer that ate the Human-Human Fruit. His name is Chopper; he's… delicate. I'm not worried about his physical safety so much, but he has issues with rejection… among other things."

Luffy, Sanji, and Ghin all looked at each other. The rigger shook his head with a sigh, unable to help a small smirk that grew across his face. "Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. Jones loves animals. If anything, you should be scared that Jones'll hijack your apprentice with cuddles."

That only served to make Kureha glare harder. She reached out and grabbed Ghin by the neck, shoving him into a wall. "Don't joke about that! Giving Chopper false hope, after all he's been through…"

Being held up by a woman was a new experience for Ghin, but the rigger wasn't too worried. He may have just learned how to read, but he knew doctors were bound by oath to protect life. Even the doctor on Krieg's crew had been reluctant to kill, and this woman was significantly less psychotic. "I'm not joking."

Kureha huffed. "We'll see. And even if she doesn't mean any harm, she still shouldn't have left her bed. She's in no condition to be running about, and I still have tests to run. Some of her vital signs are… off. I need to find out why."

Luffy scowled. "What does that mean? Is Jones still in danger?"

"I don't know, dammit! She disappeared before I could do the tests!" The irate doctor flicked a scalpel at the captain, tearing a nick out of his vest. "Now quit talking, and either help me find them, or keep out of my way."

Ghin made for the door, limping, a coil of worry squirming in his gut. Kureha stopped him with a glare. "Oh, no, not you. You shouldn't be walking on that foot if you can avoid it; stay here."

"Like Hell I will. Jones is like my little sister; if she's disappeared somewhere, I've gotta find her." The rigger scowled at the aging doctor. He half expected her to throw another scalpel, this time at him, or maybe slam him into a wall again. Instead, she sighed and growled.

"Fine. Here." Kureha threw a crutch at Ghin's head; he caught it just before it hit him. "Don't come crying to me if you injure yourself worse."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Ghin began limping through the castle, trying to figure out where Jones could have gone. She was badly injured, so she couldn't have gotten far without help- no wonder Kureha was so sure her apprentice was with the girl. But where had they gone?

Luffy and Sanji quickly caught up with him. The three of them began searching through nearby rooms, but there was no sign of Jones. Not even her hat. Slowly, they began widening their search, until they had looked through the whole castle. Or, all of it except one room that was firmly locked. Ghin was all for trying to force it open to see if Jones was on the other side, but Sanji stopped him by pointing out the dust around the base.

"Leave it War Dog. There's nothing in there. That door hasn't been disturbed in weeks, if not longer."

Ghin groaned in frustration. "Well, if she's not in there, where is she?"

"Outside?" was Luffy's suggestion. Ghin looked over at his captain, who was staring out a window. As the pirates watched, a reindeer with a purple and black figure on its back bolted across the courtyard and into the distance, Kureha hot on its tail. The doctor appeared to be throwing everything she could find at the fleeing pair, which Ghin wasn't sure was necessarily the best way of getting them to stop running.

The three pirates ran down to the door, but by the time they got there, Kureha was already coming back. She was not in a good mood, nor was she accompanied by Jones or the reindeer. When Sanji opened his mouth to question her, the doctor shot him a look colder than ice that made the cook shut up immediately. He even whimpered. Ghin, however wasn't so easily dissuaded.

"Where are they going? We need to go after them."

"No!" Kureha snapped. Then she sighed. "No, I may not like it, but this is something Chopper needs. Your little friend appears to be taking him to Gyasta to see the hockey game. Such an event will either help his anxiety tremendously, or cement it forever. I just hope you're right about your Jones."

Luffy gazed at the doctor, his face unusually serious. Not angry, just… serious. Which was unusual; by now Ghin was used to seeing what his captain was like during a fight, but never when just talking to someone. "You don't know Jones. She wouldn't hurt this Chopper guy, not like that; she has anx- anx- trouble with people too."

Kureha sighed again and began polishing an alarmingly large collection of scalpels. "Maybe. Maybe your Jones girl isn't trying to hurt Chopper. It doesn't mean she won't. He's faced a lot of rejection. Even before he ate the Human-Human Fruit… Chopper has a blue nose, so he was always a bit of an outcast in the herd, and once he got his Devil Fruit, they drove him out altogether. So he tried to make friends with humans, since he it made him like one of us. But Chopper's human form doesn't look particularly human, so the people thought he was a monster and shot at him, driving him off as surely as the reindeer herd did."

"All except one. While Chopper was lying injured in the snow, he was found by a man named Hiriluk. Hiriluk claimed to be a doctor, and perhaps that was true in a way- he was certainly a decent chemist and possibly a doctor of that discipline- but beyond basic first-aid, he had next to nothing in the way of medical skills. But what Hiriluk did have was a good heart. He earned Chopper's trust and took the reindeer home, nursing him back to health."

"Chopper lived with Hiriluk for months. They worked together, doing their best to help the people of Drum Kingdom, since almost all doctors were forced to serve only Wapol. But Hiriluk was slowly dying of a chronic illness he'd contracted in his youth. As his time drew nearer, Hiriluk tried to drive Chopper away to spare him the agony of seeing one that had become family to him die. But Chopper wouldn't leave, and ended up finding out why Hiriluk was trying to scare him off."

"He tried to find a way to cure Hiriluk's illness, but Chopper didn't have any real medical experience back then. When looking for a miracle medicine, he accidentally chose a poison mushroom instead of a helpful one," here Kureha choked up for a second, "Because of all the stories Hiriluk used to tell him. Stories about pirate, and the skull and crossbones being a symbol of infinite possibility rather than death."

"Hmm, flashback inside a flashback," I mused when Ghin paused to take a breath. "Does that count as a Fourth Wall break inside a Fourth Wall break? For sixteen walls?"

Everyone stared at me. "What does that even mean?" Nami demanded.

I shrugged, very quickly deciding that the answer to my own question was yes. A fourth Wall break inside a Fourth Wall break, with a reference and whatever this was thrown in for good measure. Wade Wilson, eat your heart out. "Never mind; I'm just crazy. Continue."

"Touched by Chopper's concern for him, Hiriluk drank the mushroom tea, even though he knew it would only hasten his death. Almost immediately afterwards, news came that the doctors kept by Wapol were ill, and someone was needed to cure them. Hiriluk picked up his supplies and headed up to the castle to see if he could help… Only to find out that it was a trap. The doctors had never been sick; it was all a ruse by Wapol to capture Hiriluk and stop him treating the people of Drum Kingdom. But Hiriluk had expected that this might happen, although he still came just in case the tale of illness was true."

"As Wapol's soldiers moved in to arrest him, Hiriluk raised a glass to toast- a glass of nitroglycerin. It's an explosive compound," Kureha explained when Luffy and Ghin stared in confusion. "With his glass held high, Hiriluk spoke of the importance of life, and warned Wapol that as long as he was remembered, he would not truly die. Then he drank. The good quack and several soldiers perished in the ensuing explosion."

"What Hiriluk didn't realize was that Chopper had seen the whole exchange. The loss of the man he thought of as a father caused him to fly into a rage. He attacked the soldiers; they shot at him. Chopper was badly injured, and the soldiers left him for dead. I picked him up, brought him home, and I've been teaching him medicine ever since." Kureha sighed yet again. "He's an okay doctor, but he doesn't speak to people who aren't me, even if he likes to watch them. I'm worried, but I have no idea what to do. Nothing seems to help him."

For a few long minutes, everything was silent. Then Luffy's eyes lit up like stars, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Chopper's a reindeer who can turn into a person and he's a doctor? So cool! Can he join our crew?"

Kureha stared into his eyes. This lasted long enough for both Sanji and Ghin to become uncomfortable and start fidgeting in place. Luffy's grin never wavered. Finally, the doctor huffed and chuckled. "Maybe… We'll see. There's something about you, kid. What did you say your name was again?"

"Luffy. Monkey D Luffy."

Kureha's frown turned into a wry smile. "Heh. You might just be able to do it then. The impossible is all in a day's work for the Will of D. Well, we'll see. You have to meet him first, when he gets back. And I hope for your sake that you're right about your Jones girl, because if you aren't… I'll remove your heart through your anus and shove it back down your throat."

Sanji's jaw dropped at the threat; the cook made an abundance of little squeaking noises before pulling something out of his pocket and sticking it in his mouth. A lollipop. Ghin couldn't help but think how odd that looked in place of the usual cigarette, but since they were in a hospital…

Stunned silence filled the entry hall. Although it only lasted a few seconds; quiet crunching noises soon broke it up. They came from two different directions. Through the open door, the pirates saw a familiar large, unwieldly man approaching on the back of a fluffy white hippo. He was accompanied by a greasy afro man and a despondent archer dressed in green and turquoise checkers. Luffy glared. Kureha saw his expression and raised her eyebrow.

"So… You've met Wapol before, I take it?"

"Yeah… He showed up when we were on our way here and started bossing us around and being an asshole." Luffy pounded his fists together as the pirates marched out the door. "I already wanted to sink him if I saw him again, and now…"

It was only once the pirates were outdoors that they saw the source of the other set of footsteps. A young male reindeer came cantering around the side of the building, fluffy pink hat bouncing on his head. He came to a stop not far from Wapol, pawing at the ground and tossing his head. Then, in a maneuver that caused Luffy's eyes to light up with excitement even as he was still glowering at Wapol, the reindeer turned into an eight-foot-tall gorilla monster.

"Cool! You must be Chopper- hi!"

"Eh? What? I mean-!"

The reindeer was interrupted by an enraged shout from Wapol. "Gyah! How dare you peasants ignore my presence! You can't just exchange pleasantries in front of the king!"

"Oh, shut up jackass," Sanji finished his lollipop and flicked the stick at Wapol. It bounced off the center of the king's forehead. "King or no king, not everything's about you."

"Of course it is!" Wapol gestured violently. "Being king means I can do whatever I want! And what I want right now is my palace back! All you peasants have five seconds to be gone or I'll shoot!"

"Like Hell!" Scalpels flew from where Kureha was standing in the doorway. They all missed Wapol, but the king squeaked and squealed as if they'd embedded themselves in his buttocks. It was actually kind of funny.

"Yo Boss," the man with the afro asked slowly, once Wapol was done squirming and cowering. "You want me'n Chess to take care of 'em?"

"No, I want you to sit there and have a tea party," Wapol drawled. "Of course I want you to take care of them! How much of an idiot can you be, Kuromarimo? Hurt them, hurt them!"

"With pleasure Boss. I was just makin' sure." The afro man moved forward with a curious shifting charge. Ghin and Sanji looked at each other, not even needing to speak. The cook stepped forwards and intercepted this first opponent with a kick.

"Keep dreaming, Shithead. We won't be scared off too easily."

Kuromarimo smirked even as he was shoved backwards. "We'll see about that."

A ball of black, curly, tangled fluff was left behind on Sanji's leg when the two separated. The cook shook his leg, but the fuzz wouldn't come off. He made a face and tried to wipe it off, only to have it stick to his hand instead. Shaking again yielded nothing but frustration; Sanji glared at Kuromarimo in disgust. "What the fuck is this?"

"It's my hair, dude," Kuromarimo snickered. "What did you think it was? Nice and greasy… I brush and wash it as little as possible so it'll be good and sticky for when we get in a fight."

"That's the most disgusting tactic I've ever heard of," Sanji muttered. Kuromarimo just grinned.

"And it ain't just for grossin' people out either. Show 'em how we do it Chess! Give 'er!"

"Alright." The archer raised his bow and fired a flaming arrow. It pierced through the hairball stuck to Sanji's hand, setting it alight. And the hair grease that the cook had scattered over himself by waving it around lit too, creating little dots of fire all over his suit.

Blinking in surprise, Sanji stopped, dropped to the ground, and rolled through the snow to put the fire out. He came up, scowling, in the afro man's face. "Nope. That's not impressive at all, still shitty and gross. And has one big flaw… If I stick close to you, no matter how many shitty hairballs you stick on me, your partner can't fire."

Sanji proceeded to do just that, keeping close to Kuromarimo even when grappling with the boxer got him covered in sticky hair. Chess readied another arrow, but didn't immediately let fly for fear of hitting his friend- which angered Wapol. "What did I tell you, you morons? Hurt them, hurt them!"

"But I might hit-!"

"We can have the doctors fix him up after our glorious victory!"

Twang! The arrow flew across the courtyard, aimed for Sanji's thigh. But by the time it reached its destination it was met with only air and snow, as the cook had moved, taking Kuromarimo with him. "Collier, Épaule, Côtelette, Selle, Poitrine, Gigot, Mouton Shot!" A flurry of kicks launched the boxer into the air, gave him a Charlie Horse, and slammed him back into the ground. Sanji came down hard on the afro man's back.

"Still think you can drive us off so easily?"

The response was an arrow from Chess; Sanji deflected by kicking it into the air. The cook jumped over Kuromarimo's flattened, breathless form to kick the archer in the face. "Are you idiots serious? I've seen more fight from uncooked takoyaki!"

Chess and Kuromarimo groaned. Dragging themselves upright, they leaned on each other. Wapol turned red, steam coming out his ears as he glared at his henchmen. "You- you useless buffoons! How can you be beaten so easily?"

And then, in a move that left Ghin shocked and disgusted, the king jumped down off his white walkie and ate Chess and Kuromarimo. Jaws of steel and flesh distended wider than even Luffy's ever did, engulfing the two men in a single bite. Wapol chewed with a strange, wave-like motion that Ghin was fairly certain was no actual good for grinding up… he really didn't want to call Chess and Kuromarimo food. But Wapol had teeth the size of some people's fists, so what did he know? Those chompers could probably grind up anything.

"Munch-Munch Factory!" Wapol swallowed twice, hiccoughed, and opened his mouth again, vomiting out… A tall, four-armed figure with two faces and mixed-up clothing.

"OH YEAH! I'm all fired up now!" The bizarre figure bashed his fists together and let out a whoop. A few stomping, unbalanced steps shook the courtyard.

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Hey… Aren't you two just sitting on each other's shoulders?"

"How dare you!" The echoing, two-toned voice managed to express both indignation and despair. "With our powers thus combined, we're an unstoppable force, the strongest in the Drum Kingdom military! Marimo's Snow-Melting Arrows!"

Two giant arrows tipped in flaming hairballs flew at Sanji. The cook fell back onto his hands, swinging up into a handstand and kicking one arrow into the other. This, somehow, caused an explosion. Twinned yells of shocked rage echoed from the stereo mouths as Chessmarimo pulled out four axes and swung at Sanji. "Snow-Splitting Blade!"

"Too slow!" Sanji flipped back off his hands, axe-kicking the merged henchman in both faces as he went. He followed that up by spinning around and driving his knee into Chessmarimo's crotch. Hard. There was an audible- if faint- noise like an apple being crushed in someone's hand. All four of Chesmarimo's eyes rolled back in his heads as he let out a faint whimpering noise and keeled over backwards.

Ghin cringed in sympathy. That was… bloodthirsty. The rigger never would've expected Sanji to do that to a fellow man.

Wapol sputtered angrily. "How- how- how dare you?!"

"Because self-entitled asshat noble shitheads like you piss me off," Sanji snorted.

That made Wapol turn from red to an interesting shade of purple. The king's eyebrows twitched as he sputtered, until he finally remembered how to speak words. "You- you- ARGH! Munch-Munch Arm Cannon!"

One of Wapol's arms turned into a cannon- and given the name of the technique, Ghin wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. The king began firing at Sanji, over and over and over… Snow flew upwards in little gouts as the cook repeatedly flipped out of the way- until one of Sanji's hands slipped on a patch of ice, throwing his timing off. The next cannonball slammed into his side as his timing faltered, firing the cook into the castle wall, where he landed in a heap with a groan.

Ghin limped over, his mother hen instincts taking over. He'd never had little brothers before- only sisters- but he was starting to think that way about the other Straw Hat men. Maybe. He'd never admit it, though. The rigger pulled out bandages as he knelt in the snow- not that he knew if they would help. Before he got a chance to find out, Kureha was beside him pushing him out of the way.

"Ow…" Sanji untangled himself and sat up, wincing. The doctor grabbed hold of him without ceremony and hiked his shirt up to check on his wounds, earning a pained yelp of protest.

"Cracked ribs," she huffed after a moment, "But nothing fully broken. As long as you don't move around too much, you should be alright."

Wapol let out a triumphant shriek and fired another cannonball, this time aimed at the crouching doctor. Ghin pulled out one of his tonfa just in time, knocking the shell up in the air before it could do any harm. Seconds later, the king took an antlered missile to the stomach as that little blue-nosed reindeer- Chopper, Kureha called him Chopper- charged across the courtyard. Wapol flew backwards into a snowbank; Chopper stomped and snorted.

"Leave Doctrine alone!"

"You!" Wapol spat as he got back to his feet. "You're that quack's little monster boy! So you finally stopped crying, eh? Finally got over the idiot's death?"

"What did you say?" The reindeer lowered his head, pawing at the ground one more time before transforming with a sound like breaking bones. Up, up, up, until he was a towering figure of fur and muscle, like a gorilla with antlers. A heavy fist swung into Wapol's gut, throwing the king for a second time.

"DON'T TALK ABOUT THE DOCTOR THAT WAY!" Chopper sniffled and frowned, looking both pissed off and adorable. "He was a great man!"

"A great man? More like a great screw-up. What kind of doctor can't even cure his own illness?" Wapol pointed at the reindeer with one hand, fingers in the shape of a gun. Which very quickly turned into a real gun. "Munch-Munch Finger Gun!"

Ghin was actually feeling embarrassed for this guy's pathetic technique names. Which probably meant he'd been spending too much time with Jones, since he knew he never would've noticed before. Hell, on his one attempt at naming his own techniques in the past, the men he was leading had laughed themselves into a coma.

Chopper changed shape again, turning into a small, teddy bear-like creature. The sudden shift made the hail of bullets Wapol was firing fly over his head. Wapol's reaction to this was… unexpected. As in, the king burst out laughing in a way that really made Ghin want to punch him in the face. Actually, he'd been wanting to punch Wapol again for a while, but something was holding him back.

"Maaaahahahahaha! You're an idiot! Showing your whole hand so early in a fight! Now that I've seen all three of your forms, defeating you will be no problem! But first…" Wapol raised his cannon arm and pointed it at the top of one of the towers. "First I need to remove that eyesore from my castle!"

Glancing up showed Ghin a flag that he hadn't seen when they first got to the castle- a fluttering Jolly Roger. It had pink flower petals scattered around the skull. It was nearly as cheerful and uplifting as the Straw Hat Jolly Roger Ghin had come to associate with home.

Ker-chik. BOOM!

A cannonball flew, soaring over their heads. Chopper's eyes went wide; the little reindeer fell to his knees with a yell. He even had tears running down his muzzle.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Two clouds of snow burst up, making it hard to see- one from the ground, and one from the roof of the flag tower. A line of blurred red and faint steam connected them. The air began to clear at ground level first, revealing that Luffy was just… gone.

Then a voice rang out from the sky. "Don't worry Chopper, it's safe! I'll protect it, so go ahead and kick this guy's ass!"

Everyone froze, staring up at the tower. As the snow cleared, it revealed a broken mess of shingles and shattered stone. Atop this stood Luffy, the coat he was wearing covered in soot and burn marks, with tears in the edges. He held the flag in one hand, swinging it by its broken pole. Then the young captain stabbed the broken flagpole into a gap between two stones, standing beside it with his arms folded as he glared down at Wapol.

Chopper's eyes turned into stars before he turned back to Wapol. The little reindeer frowned at the king and reached into his pocket, pulling out what appeared to be a large golden candy. "If you think I've already shown my whole hand, you've got another thing coming! Rumble!"

The reindeer ate his candy with a dramatic crunch. Wapol didn't look impressed, raising his finger gun in Chopper's direction again, only to freeze in surprise when the reindeer transformed, this time into a tall, leggy version of himself that immediately jumped several meters into the air.

"Jump Point!"

"What?!" Wapol fell back on his ass without Chopper having had to touch him yet. "Nut- but zoan users only have three forms!"

"My research bypasses that," Chopper said quietly as he reached the apex of his jump. "With the help of my rumble balls, a zoan user can access seven forms. Arm Point!"

This time it was the reindeer's arms that bulked up. He fell towards Wapol, spinning twice before punching his hooves into the speechless king with two rapid-fire movements. "Cloven Cross!"

Hoof-shaped bruises bloomed on the side of Wapol's face. The king let out a shriek of outrage and began firing both his weapons at once. Cannonballs and bullets flew everywhere, although none got a direct hit. Plenty of grazes, sure- Ghin got a sharp, stinging line along one cheek, and he didn't want to know what all the little nicks Chopper was picking up felt like. It looked like someone had tried petting him with sandpaper.

"Walk Point!" Shifting back into his regular reindeer form, Chopper charged in and bucked, kicking Wapol into the air. A cannonball crashed into the snow beside the reindeer, showering him with shards of ice and stone.

"MUNCH!" Wapol bit Chopper on the rump as he came down. The reindeer bucked again. Twisting free, he shifted into his little teddy bear form and rolled away across the courtyard, coming to his feet with a grunt. Two hooves clicked together, forming a circle in front of his eye.

"Scope!" The world froze for a second. Then Wapol charged forwards again, mouth gaping wide. Chopper shifted again, striking as he did so.

"Arm Point! Cloven Cross!" Hooves struck the back of Wapol's throat, sending him rolling and choking. The king landed upside down with a crunch. He didn't move for a long minute.

Springing back into his little teddy bear form, Chopper fell to his knees and started panting. The reindeer was sweating, his eyes spinning. He looked like he was going to vomit. But at the same time, he looked so proud. "Did you see that, Doctor?" Chopper whispered, staring up at the sky.

Luffy bounced down with a spring and smack, a wave of snow splashing up around him. The captain clapped Chopper on the shoulder with a proud smile. "Shishishishi! That was so cool little reindeer guy!" Luffy ruffled the reindeer's fur. "Hey- you're Chopper, right? That means you're a doctor. Ne… Join my crew?"

The reindeer turned to Luffy with a look of confusion. "You… you want me on your crew? But- but I'm a monster…"

"So what?" Luffy picked his nose with his free hand. "People used to call me and my brothers monster children all the time, and Zoro used to be called a demon. Names like that just mean you're strong- strong enough to protect your home and friends."

"Yeah…" Chopper's face morphed into an expression of dazed hope.

Whatever he was thinking was interrupted a moment later when Wapol groaned and rolled to his feet. The king was steaming, enraged, every inch of his skin a brilliant shade of puce. "You- you insolent peasants! How dare you! You- you'll pay for this! Just you wait until I get it!"

Faster than anyone could react, Wapol bulled past all though assembled and into the castle. Luffy took off immediately afterwards. The rest of those present, wounded and slow, were left in the dark for a few minutes. Loud crashing and banging sounded from inside the castle. Windows shattered occasionally, accompanied by glimpses of either Wapol or Luffy as they tried to throw each other out of the towers. A few minutes of this were followed by silence, then rapid, incoherent yelling. More glass shattered; Wapol flew out of a window, flying over the island in a ballistic arc, disappearing over the horizon with a shriek. Light flashed off his metallic chin as he vanished from sight.

X

Ghin shrugged. "Since then, things've been… not quiet, but… Okay, yeah, pretty quiet. Kureha checked Chopper and Don Luffy out, then disappeared. Chopper's been hiding from Sanji- Shit Cook made some joke about venison and he took it too seriously. Meanwhile Don Luffy locked himself into a spare room and seems to be practicing something that he doesn't want anyone else to see. Since no one needed me for anything, I decided I'd go out and start looking for you, since you didn't come back with Chopper."

"Sorry…" I winced. "I sent Chopper on ahead for… reasons. That fight with Wapol… It was something he needed to do. Is he alright?"

"Like I said, looked like someone had tried to pet him while wearing a glove made of sandpaper." Ghin poked me in the forehead. "Now, you- wait a second. What are you wearing?"

I glanced down at my attire. "Um… These are some of Doctor Kureha's things. My clothes got wrecked, and so when Chopper and I decided to go out, he went and found me these."

"You- you. Urgh. How could you go out in that in this weather? Canadian or not- whatever that means- I'm amazed you didn't freeze already. Come on; let's go get you changed." Ghin grabbed me by the shoulder and began dragging me along- bringing Lisa with us by default, as she was still holding my hand. I squawked in disbelief.

"Changed into what?"

"Anything with sleeves and decent pants. I think I have some of your clothes with me, but my jacket's still up in the room, so I'm not sure. And speaking of clothes… You need to go shopping. Most of your socks have holes in them, and you go through shirts even faster than Zoro."

What the-? Johnny and Yosaku were right?! My mouth fell open with a hiss; I couldn't decide if this was more embarrassing because the hunters were right and I was wrong, or because Ghin actually carried spare clothes around for me like I was some toddler. My honorary big brother pulled me up the stairs, oblivious to my internal conflict. Everyone else followed mutely after us.

Up, up, up, up, up the stairs we went, until Ghin led us off onto a landing and into one of many rooms. I recognized the place- it was the same floor I'd escaped from with Chopper not so long ago. Faint humming emerged from the room Ghin was pulling me in to; once I crossed the threshold I could see Sanji at the window, toying with an unlit cigarette. Ghin promptly dropped me on one of the beds in favour of grabbing the cook and shoving him out the door. Sanji yelped in protest.

"OI! What gives, shitty War Dog?"

"Out! Jones needs different clothes." Dimly glowing red eyes turned on Johnny and Yosaku. "Thing Blue, Thing Green, keep the shit cook from peeking."

"Yes sir!" the hunters squeaked in unison, saluting. Each grabbed one of Sanji's arms; they frog-marched him away, babbling incoherently. Vivi stared, Nami rolled her eyes, and Lisa giggled.

Usopp gulped nervously and refused to meet Ghin's gaze. "I'lljustgowiththem,shallI? Bye!" The gunner took off after the rest of the departing men, his shoes skidding on the floor.

"I can get changed on my own, you know," I protested as Ghin began rifling through the pockets of his jac- GODS ABOVE AND BELOW, HOW DID ALL THAT FIT IN THERE?! My jaw dropped fully this time, eyes going wide as I saw everything Ghin was pulling out of his pockets. Bandages, rags, weapons polish, matches, a deck of playing cards… and a full outfit in familiar purple and black. I rubbed closed my eyes and rubbed my temples in disbelief.

"By Natrimpe's sweet waters, why are you carrying around some of my clothes?"

Shrugging, Ghin tossed the pile of fabric at me and put everything else back in his pockets. "I don't usually," he told me as he slipped his jacket on, "But I figured after what happened on Little Garden, the ones you were wearing were probably ruined. So I brought these for when you woke up."

Maudit, there was nothing I could say to that, was there? It was perfectly logical. So I focused my protests on Ghin's actual attempts to un- and re-dress me, as if I was some child who couldn't do it themselves. Those protests were short lived, though my embarrassment was not. Because, well, I couldn't do it myself. My broken arm got in the way, and my other injuries made me too stiff and clumsy; Chopper had helped before. My face turned red as a strawberry when I finally submitted to the humiliation. Nami, Lisa… even Vivi was left giggling. Ruatha trumpeted with unfamiliar draconic laughter.

"Your deaths will be slow and painful," I promised, glaring at everyone around me. The girls and my dragon just laughed harder; Ghin smirked and poked me in the forehead.

"Good luck with that."

"Why you-!" The rigger stepped out of the way of my clumsy attack, sending me skidding past him and into the hallway as I fought to regain my balance. I had just caught myself, spinning for another- likely futile- attempt at tackling Ghin, when something large and hairy charged past, shoving me into a wall.

"I don't know you! Leave me alone!" Hooves clattered on the floor as the hairy thing cantered away down the stairs. Chopper.

A red streak and the sound of slapping sandals followed him. "But you're cool! Join my crew!"

"We've barely said two words to one another! I- I- Back off or I'll sic the hockey players on you!"

"Hockey players? Are they some kind of army? You have an army? Cool! But I have a Jones! Animals love Jones, and you're a reindeer, so you have to come with us!"

"That's not how that works!"

"Oww…" I pried my face out of the cracks in the wall and turned back towards Ghin. Again. Tackle of vengeance, take three. Only… Before I could move, the sound of heeled boots clicking down the hall made my blood run cold.

"There you are."

Tabarnak. Kureha. A scalpel pinged off the stone near my head. That wasn't what scared me though. No, what scared me was the aura of pure, unadulterated rage coming off the doctor in waves. I could practically taste her anger with every breath. It wasn't like Haoshoku Haki- I could still see and move- but in some ways, I think it was worse.

"I told you, patients leave my care when they are cured, or when they are dead. And what did you do? You took off before I was done running tests, kidnapped my apprentice and put dreams of being a hockey player into his head, got into a fight before I'd even made sure you were alright…" Kureha's eyes burned the brightest red I'd ever seen. Her hands were full of scalpels- more, I was sure, than I could dodge or block.

Well, in this situation there was only one thing I could do. I reached up with my good hand to make sure Ruatha was firmly secured on my shoulder. "Hang on, Bud. We're gonna use the Sir Robin maneuver."

"Fos?"

Brave Sir Robin ran away! Bravely ran away, away! When danger reared its ugly head

he bravely turned his tail and fled! Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and gallantly he chickened out! Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat! Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin! I spun on my heel and took off after Luffy and Chopper- or at least, insofar as I could. It was more of a swift limp than a run. But I must have managed a very swift limp indeed, seeing as I was actually able to get a bit of a lead on Kureha. Not enough to be out of range of all her thrown scalpels, but still… I'd take what I could get.

And yes, I know I've said before that I hate running from a fight. That statement still stands. This, however, was not a fight. This was a psychotic old woman who looked like she wanted to dissect me. There's a difference.

Tripping down the stairs in my haste, I staggered down a random hallway and threw myself into the first door I saw. Chopper was there. The reindeer backed up with a snort when I came charging in, only to relax when he realized it was just me. "Oh, hi Jones. Sorry; I though you were Luffy."

"It's fine." I waved him off. "I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

Footsteps outside, coming from two separate directions. I tensed; Chopper flattened his ears against his skull. Ruatha crooned.

"Need some help?" Chopper asked, bending one knee so I could get on his shoulders. I did so as quickly as I could, burying my hands in thick fur.

"Thanks."

The door burst open, banging off stone. Both Luffy and Kureha stood in the opening, glaring at me while simultaneously sending soft looks Chopper's way. No, I don't know how that was possible. Although Luffy's "soft" look, while it was certainly such for him, on most people would've been called an eager smile. Kureha slowly put her arsenal of scalpels away.

"Excellent work Chopper. Take her back to the examination room so we can finish running those tests."

"Nu-uh." Luffy shook his head and stepped in front of Kureha, waving his arms. "Bring her to me- captain's orders. Me'n jones need to talk about something." The way my captain clenched his fist on the word talk was not encouraging.

Chopper glanced from one to the other, then up at me. I tensed, ready to roll off and escape on my own; I do not like hospital tests. And I probably didn't want to have whatever talk with Luffy right now either, even if I didn't know what it was. But Chopper didn't try to deliver me to either aggressor. Instead, the reindeer bunched his legs under him, eyes shining with determination. Hooves tapped on stone as he raced for the door at top speed, then leapt… Luffy and Kureha watched with confused awe as Chopper and I soared over their heads before landing in the hallway with a clatter. I nearly brained myself on the top of the arched doorway, as did Ruatha.

Doctor and captain blinked in confusion for a few precious seconds, allowing us time to get away. I leaned low over Chopper's neck and held on tight as the reindeer charged through the castle. "Sesehihihihihi! You'll never take us alive!"

"Wha-? Chopper, bring her back here right now!"

"Hey, Reindeer Guy, come back! Join my crew!"

"I'm not done with you, you little-!"

"JONES!"

Slapping sandals and clicking boots were soon hot on our tail. I wasn't surprised- Luffy being able to outrun a reindeer was expected, at the very least. Especially since, when Chopper ran down the stairs to get to the ground floor, the rubber boy just dropped over the rail. "Come on Reindeer Guy! If you join my crew… I'll give you 1% of my meat!"

Luffy offering to share food? He must really want Chopper on the crew. I was glad to know my interference hadn't prevented the little doctor being recruited at least. Chopper spun on a dime, taking a detour through the kitchen in the hopes that it would distract the rubber captain. It worked, to an extent; Luffy paused in his pursuit for roughly thirty seconds, opening the fridge and downing something he found inside with a hum of "Mmm, leftovers."

And of all the things I'd seen since coming to this world, that was probably the most surprising. Not that Luffy would swallow an entire container of random food in a strange castle- that was par for the course with him- but that he was familiar with the concept of leftovers. How could they have possibly existed on an island that contained both him and Ace?

I put that question aside as Chopper and I burst out of the kitchen and scalpels flew over our heads.

Kureha was blocking the stairs; we needed something to distract her. Let's see, what have I gots in my pocketses… I began digging around in my utility belt, although most of the items I'd purchased in Loguetown weren't particularly suited to nonlethal distraction and incapacitation. Except maybe… No, I shouldn't scatter marbles and caltrops around the castle. Someone else might step on them, or I could lose some, and I would need them all later. Probably. Although with the way things were changing, it was hard to tell. But maybe I could get a similar reaction using my powers. My toes brushed the floor while riding Chopper, after all. But… Tabarnak, if I started absorbing all the friction in the area, Chopper wouldn't be able to run either.

Clip-clop! The reindeer took the decision out of my hands by leaping over Kureha's head again. I don't know how he managed to land without hurting himself on the stairs, but he did, and began cantering up. Kureha's outraged yell followed us as Chopper bolted down a hallway and into a storage closet. The reindeer panted and trembled once we were out of sight; I dismounted and patted his neck.

"You okay Choppy?"

"Yeah…"

"We can split up, if you like. It might make avoiding them easier." I rubbed behind one of Chopper's ears; he leaned into my hand with a smile.

"No, it's okay. I'll be alright, really. Carrying you is easier than pulling Doctorine's sleigh."

Out of nowhere, my heart sank as I mentally revised my earlier conclusion about recruitment. After all, the little doctor was running away from my captain. "Choppy… Why're you trying to keep away from Luffy? Do you not want to join our crew?"

Dark brown eyes stared at the floor; Chopper pawed nervously. "I- I don't know. I mean, I like you guys, and the idea that you want me to come with you… And I could be a pirate, like in the stories Doctor Hiriluk used to tell me. But… Drum Kingdom is my home. Doctorine… This castle… These mountains… It's all I've ever known. Sorry…"

"Oh dear…" I wrapped my arm around Chopper's neck and hugged as tight as my wounded state would allow. "You have nothing to apologize for, little one. Believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Shortly before joining this crew, I was taken away from everything I'd ever known by my own desperate actions." I sighed heavily. "I was trying to escape the bad memories, and didn't realize until later- much later- that I had left behind some things I loved too."

Chopper raised his head to stare up at me, watery eyes shining. "Was- was it worth it?"

I thought for a long moment. About the anxiety of seeing new people and places every time I stepped off the ship, about the desperate need to train so I wasn't a dead weight, about all the dinosaurs that had tried to eat me… Then I though about the smile on Luffy's face the first time I opened up enough to play tag with him and Usopp. Ruatha's cheerful chirps that woke me up in the mornings. Sanji's cooking and Ghin's brotherly- if overbearing- attentions. The little thrills I got every time I fought, or pulled some crazy stunt, or used my Force-Force powers. Riding a dinosaur. A grin grew across my face, two-thirds crazy, one-third kind.

"Yes. One hundred and twelve percent, yes."

Chopper's face lit up with what I could only call hopeful delight. Which meant I just needed to add one more thing to make sure recruitment was guaranteed. "You know… Only someone who's seen all the diseases the world has to offer could hope to cure them all."

Fluffy ears twitched; the reindeer let out a squeaky gasp of awe. "How… You know my dream?"

"Of course I do," I chuckled. "I'm a witch, after all; why wouldn't my magic extend to dreams?"

"So cool…"

The door of the storage closet burst open at that moment, revealing an irate Kureha. Luffy was pounding down the hallway behind her. Nowhere left to run, nowhere left to hide… I stumbled in surprise, automatically placing myself between Chopper and the people chasing us. With no other entrances though, there was only one thing to do…

"Haaaaaaaah!" I charged at Luffy and Kureha, waving my good arm as if I were holding a torch over my head. The doctor froze in confusion, while my captain yelped and turned tail. Which led to an interesting bit where Chopper and I were chasing him through the castle, despite Luffy's desire to catch us. It took him ten minutes to catch on and skid to a halt.

"Wait… This isn't right. Gum-Gum Rocket!" Luffy spun around and shot towards me and Chopper, using a doorway for propulsion.

"Eek!" The reindeer scooped me back onto his shoulders without prompting and scampered away. Not that it did any good. Half a second later, a fast flying mass of rubber crashed into us. A reindeer, a dragon, a rubber boy, and a karate-ka rolled down the hall in a tangled mess.

It almost sounded like the beginning of a bad joke.

"Oof!" We bowled Johnny and Yosaku over as we quite literally ran into everyone else. Chopper squeaked upon seeing Sanji and popped into his tiny hybrid form; I held the doctor like a teddy bear as I regained my feet. Luffy beamed.

"Shishishishishi! Hi guys! What're you doing here?"

"Trying to figure out what's behind this door," Nami said absently as she examined a locking mechanism. I blinked at the massive construction.

"Oh. That's the castle armoury," I explained. "If it's still locked at this point… Luffy, did you happen to get a key off Wapol before punting him away?"

"Nope!" My captain practically sang his cheerfully oblivious denial.

"Well, then I guess we can't ge-!"

Ka-chik!

"I'm in," Nami informed everyone, slipping a set of lock picks back into her pocket. Everyone stared. Vivi seemed especially shocked.

"But- but that was a Pandoran Master Lock," the princess said weakly. "The same kind as used on royal treasuries the world over."

"That piece of junk?" Nami snorted. "I've seen harder locks on a cook's spice box. When we get you back to Alabasta, you might want to upgrade if you use these."

"Yeah…" Vivi shook her head, still in a bit of a daze.

I whistled as we all walked into the armoury, unable to help myself. That was an impressive collection of firepower. The walls were hung with muskets and pistols of all sorts, like some sort of military hoarder's den; crates upon crates of ammunition were stacked on the floor. All in all, it was enough to arm a small country and keep them fighting for three years straight. And the centerpiece was the cannon. Rising from the floor like something from a Jules Verne novel, it towered over my head, its mouth nearly as wide as I was tall. Steel gleamed dully in the light; the great gun's muzzle pointed at the armoury's sole window. Massive shells were stacked around it, each weighing more than a tonne.

"Chirp chirrup! Tweetweetweetweetwee!"

The sound of birds made me look up. Perched atop the enormous gun was a little bird's nest, barely visible against the dull steel. Three little white heads poked out, chirping loudly. As I watched, an adult flew in the window and delivered food to the eager hatchlings. They were so cute. Ruatha blinked up at the birds, then turned and looked at me with his mouth gaping open. I tapped him on the snout with one finger.

"No, I don't have anything for you. You can wait."

My dragon huffed and closed his mouth. Chopper giggled, clapping his hooves over his muzzle in an attempt to stifle the noise. It didn't work. Suddenly reminded of the reindeer's presence, Luffy turned to us with shining eyes.

"Hey Reindeer Guy! Join my crew!"

Chopper tensed in my arm, then stared determinedly at Luffy. I could feel him trembling; the doctor wanted to join us, but he was still scared. "Why?" he asked. "Why do you want me? I'm just a little blue-nosed reindeer- a freak."

"I like blue," Luffy said bluntly. "It reminds me of my brother. Being different doesn't make you a freak; it makes you cool. And you're really cool. I mean, you're a transforming reindeer who talks! And you're a doctor."

Tears welled up at the corners of Chopper's eyes; the reindeer sniffled. He tried to say something, but no words came out. He was overwhelmed. I undid my bandanna and offered it to him to dry his eyes. Everyone else watched quietly. Johnny and Yosaku looked like they might cry themselves at any moment. Sanji huffed; Ghin reached over to poke Chopper's forehead. The rigger smirked at the doctor's mystified reaction.

"Your answer?"

Reaching up with one hoof, Chopper rubbed where Ghin had poked. The reindeer was smiling now, so wide it looked painful. Even more tears leaved from his eyes. "I- I- YES! I'll come with you! I want to see all the places Doctor Hiriluk told me about, to find the land of cherry blossoms where everything is possible! I want to travel the world and find a cure for every disease! I want to be a pirate!"

Usopp started applauding at that declaration; Lisa, Johnny, and Yosaku soon joined him. Nami and Ghin smiled, while Vivi looked confused and vaguely amused- the princess wasn't sure quite what was going on, but she seemed to be happy for us. Ruatha crooned and licked Chopper's head. As for Luffy? He beamed.

"Great!" The captain bounced over to hug Chopper, which caused him to wrap his arms around me as well, since I was still holding the little doctor. "Welcome to the family! Oh, I can't wait for you to meet Zorro- and Merry!"

I pulled away, leaving Chopper in Luffy's enthusiastic embrace. Taking a few steps back, though, I soon met something solid and warm. Except despite the warmth, there was something about it that sent shivers of ice up my spine. I froze when a voice sounded above my head.

"Ahem."

"Meep." I staggered away from Kureha and hid behind Ghin. No tests please! We needed to get to Alabasta! I had to check in with the Revolutionaries! Needles were scary! Thankfully, Ghin seemed to accept his role as my human shield for the moment- although he did wrap an arm around my shoulders and draw me closer to him. It was uncomfortable, but not enough so that I was tempted to pull away and risk capture.

"You need to come with me." Kureha reached for me anyways, undeterred by Ghin's presence. She was blocked before she could touch me by a towering deer-man; Chopper had jumped out of Luffy's arms, transforming with a boney crunch.

"I'll do the tests Doctorine. You don't need to worry about it."

"What?" Kureha froze, stunned. Chopper fiddled nervously with his thumbs.

"After all," he continued, "If I'm gonna be the doctor for the Straw Hat crew, I should know their medical backgrounds firsthand."

"Firsthand?" Kureha drummed the arm that was reaching for me as she stared at the reindeer. "What do you mean, Chopper? Or did I mishear you?"

"No, you heard me right." Chopper bit his lip and clenched his fists at his sides, steadying his gaze to meet Kureha's eyes. "I- I'm going to go with them. They need a doctor- that's why they had to come here- and they make me feel… They want me. They don't care that my nose is blue, or that I can talk. They don't think I'm a monster."

To my surprise, Vivi piped up before Kureha could answer. "For what it's worth, Mr Deer, I don't think the people down at the hockey game thought you were a monster."

"Really?" Chopper's eyes glowed. He turned momentarily away from Kureha to look at the princess. Vivi nodded.

"Yes. They seemed to like you, especially the walking fashion disaster."

Ears perking up, Chopper glanced at Luffy and opened his mouth. The captain responded before the reindeer could say anything. "Shishishishishi! We can visit them on our way back to the Merry, if you want."

"Thank you…" Chopper turned back to Kureha with tears in his eyes. "I… This is what I want to do. I can learn so much… Please…"

The older doctor snorted and scowled. "You don't need my permission, brat. Go ahead, do whatever you want. It's one less thing for me to worry about- two, if you take over the dinosaur chew toy's treatment." As much as she wanted to sound indifferent and grumpy, Kureha's voice wavered, thick with emotion.

Chopper definitely heard it- for all she was trying to conceal things, Kureha was an open book. The reindeer stepped forward cautiously, as if uncertain of his reception, and hugged the elderly doctor. She returned the embrace with surprising force. The two spoke quietly. Their words were still audible to all, but I doubted any of my crew mates understood them.

"Tu me manqueras, Doctorine. Mais… Je dois le faire." Chopper shrank down into his small form, still hugging Kureha tight. She nodded and pressed her forehead against his.

"D'accord. Voyage avec les pirates. Mais, n'oublie pas de revenir. Et telephone-moi quand tu as le temps; je veux savoir ce que tu faites. Je t'aime, petit Chopper."

"Je t'aime aussi… Maman." Chopper nuzzled Kureha's cheek. The pair released each other, with the reindeer dropping to the ground. He landed in his full deer form. "I'll, um, just go to my room and get my things, then."

"Make sure you pack enough underwear," Kureha told him gruffly. Chopper nodded and took off. Once he was out of earshot, the elderly doctor turned on the rest of us with a glare. A single scalpel glinted in the light.

"Now, let me make this clear, pirates. You protected us from Wapol, so you have my thanks, and you've managed to get Chopper to like and trust you. Now, you seem like nice enough brats, but if you hurt him…" Kureha's eyes flashed red as she brandished her scalpel under Luffy's nose. "I will remove your brain through your nose and shove it so far up your arse you can taste it, then cut out your internal organs and pickle them in sulphuric acid."

X

We went down the Gyasta ropeway, passing through that town before heading for Bighorn and the Going Merry. Ghin refused to let me walk on my own, instead carrying me piggyback. I wanted to protest, but, well, now that the adrenaline from everything was had worn off and Lisa's paint was fading, I was exhausted. Every part of my body ached, and my legs were starting to tremble. Despite my distaste for being manhandled, I found myself relaxing on Ghin's back, eyelids heavy as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

When we got to the bottom of the ropeway, Draper and several of the Leafs were there waiting for us. The obnoxiously dressed man reached out and ruffled Chopper's fur. Red suffused the reindeer's cheeks; he shrank into himself as if trying to hide in his own backpack. "Petting me won't make me happy, bastard!"

"Sure, sure, whatever you say." Draper waved his hand dismissively, although he did stop petting Chopper. Instead, the hockey announcer handed the little doctor what could only be described as a gift bag. It was made of shiny blue wrapping. Chopper accepted the bag cautiously, his nose twitching as he tried to sniff out what was inside. Draper laughed.

"Ehohohohoho! You don't need to be so worried, little guy. It's just a little thing I put together for you quick-like." Draper shrugged and grinned. "Larry called up to the castle a bit ago to make sure you kids were alright and find out what happened. She said you were leaving and I though, it's a damn shame he's going away when he barely got a chance to taste what life in Drum Kingdom's supposed to be like. So I figured I'd put this together for you, so you'd have something to remember your home."

Ears perked up with interest, Chopper peered into the bag. My curiosity demanded that I look over his shoulder to the best of my ability, even though at this point all I really wanted was to go to sleep. I couldn't yet though. Not until I saw the snow sakura bloom. The gift bag contained a wadded-up ball of fabric that looked like a blue and white jersey, several children's books, and a hockey puck. Chopper beamed and looked up at Draper with tears in his eyes.

"Th-thank you so much!" It seemed to be all Chopper could do to avoid hugging the hockey announcer. Draper grinned.

"And there's one more thing too. Here…" The gaudy man scribbled something on a piece of paper and shoved that into Chopper's bag as well. "Can't have you missing a hockey game, now can we? That there's my snail number; call me up anytime for a recap of the latest game. Or you could give me your snail number, so I can call you during games to give you a live play-by-play."

For a moment Chopper looked very excited, but he quickly switched to drooping with disappointment. "But I don't have a den-den mushi…"

"Mmm… You can borrow Samsung," I offered sleepily. The sound of its name made my snail poke its eyestalks out of the pocket it lived in. Chopper perked up immediately.

"Really?"

"Of course. Can't have you missing out on hockey, eh? And you need to keep in touch with Kureha too."

That made the reindeer jump. "You understood that?"

"Sure did."

Draper looked at us with amusement. "Where'd you come from girl? I've never seen you before, but you sound and act like a Drum native. And what's the number of that little snail of yours?"

"Name's Jones; I'm from a place called Canada that's a lot like Drum Kingdom. Even has a hockey team called the Leafs." There. That should be vague enough that the Drum Islanders would suspect Canada was another island on the Grand Line. "And the number's (705) 671-7171."

"Not even long distance," Draper chuckled, writing it down. "Alright, I'll call you up next time there's a big game. Take care, eh?" Before Chopper or I could protest, the hockey announcer shoved our hats back and ruffled our hair.

Luffy grinned at the display. "Shishishishishi! You're a funny guy- I like your suit."

"No." Nami grabbed the captain by one ear and started dragging him away. "We put up with a lot from you, but no way are you taking fashion advice from that."

"But he's cool!" Luffy's protests were ignored. One by one, the rest of us followed the sailing master and the captain, with Ghin and I the last to depart. The rigger nodded at Draper with a small smile before we left.

"Thanks. I don't know Chopper well yet, but he's got a sad story. Your gift meant a lot to him."

"Don't worry about it." Draper waved us away. "He's a good kid; he deserves a little kindness. And no one should have to live without access to the best game you can name."

Shaking his head, Ghin trotted to catch up with the rest of the group. For some time we all walked on in silence, aside from the sound of feet and hooves crunching through the snow. Warm sun shone down on us- or at least, relatively warm. It felt nice, at least. The combination of cold air and warm sun actually made me even sleepier. I think I actually did doze for a little while, as what I recall of the trip from Gyasta to Bighorn was much shorter than I thought it was supposed to be.

Upon arriving at Bighorn, we were met by Dalton and Gold Star, the former with one arm in a sling. The mayor and the Revolutionary seemed uneasy in each other's company, but not in a distrustful way. I couldn't really understand it. Behind them, I could see twelve plainclothes Revolutionaries and a number of Drum Island militia surrounding a tall, thin man. He was dressed like a dandy or a musketeer, although with a domino mask instead of a frilly hat. His pink hair was cropped into a rough mushroom cut, and his face was adorned with a pouty scowl. Kairoseki chains hung from his wrists and ankles, keeping him subdued; there were bandages wrapped roughly around his shoulder and both legs, all stained with blood. I frowned, suddenly wide awake.

"Who's that?" I didn't remember ever seeing that man in the manga or anime.

"That's what I need to talk to you about," Gold Star said, coming to a halt in front of my crew mates. "His name's Musshuru; intelligence says he's king Wapol's older brother, banished to the Land of Fire after an unnamed Devil Fruit incident. Due to his interference, we were unable to intercept Wapol and prevent him from getting to the castle- Musshuru poisoned one of my men and several civilians, so tending to them was my first priority once he'd been detained."

I flinched. "Any casualties?"

"No. Thankfully, we were able to administer antidotes to all affected before their state became irreversible." Gold Star sighed and shook his head. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry Wapol got past us."

Luffy butted in before I could reply. "It's fine. I dunno what you're talking about, but me'n Chopper kicked Wapol's ass."

Gold Star shot my captain an appraising look, then nodded. "Alright then. That's good. I'll put that in my report to Blue Drake. Guess you didn't really need our help."

"I wouldn't say that…" My eyes drifted to the bound- and gagged, I saw now that I was looking closer- Musshuru. Without having seen him before, I had no idea how much of a threat he would've been. Although if his Devil Fruit was something to do with poison, the threat level was probably fairly high.

Usopp squinted at the captive man and cocked his head to the side. "So… What're you gonna do with that guy?"

"Send him back to the main base for questioning," Gold Star shrugged. "I don't think he'll know much that's useful, but you never know. And it keeps a dangerous blighter like him off the seas, at the very least. I don't like the idea of leaving him loose where he could cause problems and hurt innocent people with those spores of his."

Vivi was a bit pale; Nami reached out and brushed the princess' hand. "You alright Vivi?"

"Yeah… Just- Trust me, we dodged a bullet." The princess offered no elaboration as she stared at Musshuru. Eventually she pulled her gaze away to shoot me a look of- not approval, but something mildly positive. I'd puzzle it out later, when I wasn't so tired and sore. If I remembered.

Gold Star nodded absently. "Yeah, he was a pain. We handled him though. What about you, White Lion? Anything to report?"

"Mmm… Don't answer to Blue Drake," I reminded him, my tiredness actually making me snuggle into Ghin's shoulders. I really wanted to sleep. "But… Wapol was defeated, but Luffy punted him over the horizon, so he escaped custody. Most of his soldiers were captured though, including two of his top commanders. You can pick up the majority in Gyasta, and the two officers up at the castle. Other than that, nothing of significance to the Revolution."

"Alright then." Gold star glanced over at his cell. "Fluffy Muffin, Crooked Watermelon, you two check out Gyasta; Red Starlight, Shredded Leaf, go check out the castle."

"Yes sir!" Four of the Revolutionaries ran off. Gold Star nodded to me once again before wandering off to write his report.

Dalton stared at us for a long moment. Eventually, his wandering eyes settled on Chopper. The mayor looked… tired. After a few minutes of silence, he knelt in front of us and bowed his head. "I- You're the reindeer boy who used to run with Hiriluk. I'm sorry- for everything. Sorry for not standing up to Wapol earlier and saving everyone the trouble, sorry for knocking you out that day, sorry for not making an effort to make you feel accepted… Can you ever forgive me?"

"Eh?" Chopper blinked at Dalton in a daze. The little reindeer bowed his head and knelt next to the mayor. "I never blamed you. It was everyone who did those things, not just you."

I was surprised; I hadn't expected Chopper to say something so mature this early in the story. Dalton sighed in response. "I know. But there are still things I could have done. And I swear to you, I'll never let things like that happen again. No more tyrants, no more shunning those who are different."

"How though?" Chopper had tears in his eyes now. "How can you promise something like that?"

It took Dalton a long moment to answer. Then, "We'll build schools. People fear what they don't understand, so we'll teach them. Every child in Drum Kingdom will learn to read and write, some basic science, how Devil Fruits work… and our history, so they don't repeat the mistakes of the past."

That rendered Chopper speechless. Not just him, actually; everyone. Even Luffy had nothing to say, his eyes shining and his mouth gaping open. Vivi was the first to regain her tongue. "That- that's an amazing idea. Would you mind if I used your idea in Alabasta as well?"

"Go ahead, your Highness."

Vivi froze. "How- how did you know?"

"I told you, I used to be a royal guard. I saw you at the Reverie when you were a little girl; you were surprisingly mature in how you dealt with Wapol's… rudeness." Dalton smiled. "I didn't recognize you right away, but when I thought about it for a bit…"

A nervous giggle bubbled out of the princess' throat. "I- I remember that day. When I went back to my room that night, I pretended my pillow was Wapol and told him off for everything. Father was both impressed and horrified by my vocabulary."

"Heh. Trust me, that's a coping mechanism many who used to work for Wapol used as well. It was the only thing we could do." Dalton rose to his feet and brushed snow off his knees. "Now… I suppose you pirates are heading out. Surprising; the witch doesn't usually let patients out early."

"Doctorine approved Jones' release because I'm taking over her care," Chopper said, puffing up a little with pride. Behind him, Usopp beamed for no apparent reason.

"Well then, it looks like the little one's in good hands." Dalton clapped once. "Does your crew need any help resupplying before you leave? We can give you a discount on summer clothing and equipment, pelts, and jerky. Maple syrup's still full price though."

"Maple?" I perked up at the word. Beside me, Sanji had a much more amusing reaction.

"You sell maple syrup?!" The cook's jaw dropped.

"Of course." Like me, Dalton appeared amazed and confused by Sanji's reaction.

Usopp frowned and glanced at the cook. "I don't get it. Is there something wrong with selling maple syrup? What is maple syrup?"

"Only one of the most delicious sweeteners in the world," Sanji informed the gunner. "It was almost impossible to get it in the East Blue, and when we could, it was stupidly expensive. Shitty merchants always gouging us…"

"Oh…" Usopp looked like he still didn't get it.

Nami opened her mouth, probably to forbid everyone from spending money on something so frivolous. Before she could say anything though, she was hit by a massive combined attack. Ruatha, Lisa, Luffy, Chopper, Sanji, and I all pouted at the sailing master. Eyes wide, lips trembling, Ruatha whining slightly… Nami stared at us in disbelief. Johnny and Yosaku joined in a moment later, hugging each other as their eyes glowed dimly. The sailing master shook her head.

"I- wha- Are you pirates or toddlers?!"

"But maple…" I'm not too proud to admit that I whined there, alongside Chopper and my dragon. Sanji didn't speak words, but he did deign to make a small, distressed noise.

Luffy, Lisa, Johnny, and Yosaku shrugged. The captain fiddled with his thumbs. "I've never had this maple stuff, but it sounds awesome. Can we at least get a little to try?"

"Whe- But- Ergh…" Nami buried her face in her hands to try and avoid our gazes. It didn't work. The pouting and occasional whining continued until we reached a tipping point. Nami groaned at us. "Alright, fine. Buy your maple syrup. But do it quick; we need to get going."

"YAY!" Luffy, Johnny, and Yosaku danced arm in arm. Sanji danced like a noodle.

"Thank you Nami dear! I promise, you won't regret it!" Seriously, were his bones made of seaweed or something?

It took about twenty minutes to purchase maple syrup and properly say goodbye- during which time, we learned that Nami's idea of a little syrup and Sanji's were very different. Namely, the cook decided that we needed what looked like enough maple syrup to supply an army for a month. Not that I was complaining; I love maple anything.

We eventually left Bighorn and headed back to the Going Merry. It was high tide when we got there, although it looked like it would be going out shortly- the perfect time to depart. Ghin whistled loudly as we approached the ship. "Oi! Moss Ball! Drop one of the ladders!"

A green head popped up over the rail, dark eyes blinking tiredly. "Oh. You're all back. Hang on just a minute."

Wood clattered on wood as one of the ladders unrolled down the side of the Merry. One by one, we climbed aboard- or sometimes two at a time, since I was still clinging to Ghin's back like a baby monkey. Once aboard, we were met with the sight of Zoro leaning back against the rails, yawning as he sharpened his swords. Not far away, Mr Thirteen was doing the same with a pair of blades made of clam shells. Miss Friday was huddled beside the otter, looking extraordinarily grumpy while being wrapped in a fluffy duvet.

Wait, WHAT?

"Why're they here?" I asked, careful to keep my voice neutral. Mr Thirteen glanced up with a small smile and quickly scribbled a sign.

You're alive. That's good.

"They led us to Drum Kingdom," Nami explained as we prepared to get underway. "And they're taking us to Alabasta too. Apparently they like you more than Crocodile."

"Oh…" I smiled sleepily at Mr Thirteen and reached out to pet him. Ghin set me on the deck near the animals to facilitate this. "Thank you."

Luffy looked at Zoro. "Where're Jack, Mairead, and Carue?"

"Below." Zoro waved at the main hatch. "They got scared when the otter and I started sparring. Wimps. Good news though; I think I'm starting to figure out that flying slash thing. Haven't done it yet, but I have some idea how to get there."

"That's great!" Luffy beamed as he started unfurling the mainsail. "You need to get up now though- raise the anchor!"

"Aye-aye Captain." Zoro rolled to his feet and headed for the bow.

The Going Merry pulled slowly away from the shore. Night was falling as the tide went out; clouds rolled across the sky. Soon snow started to fall. The wind was chilly, but not horribly cold, and I was sheltered in my position by the rails. Chopper and Lisa looked a little lost- the former because he'd never sailed before, and the latter because she was… Actually, I had no idea. Maybe she didn't know how to sail, or someone had told her she was too little?

I waved the pair over, which led to an amusing struggle as the little girl and the reindeer both tried to sit in my lap. In the end, Lisa won. Chopper snuggled in against my sighed with a small sigh. Ruatha chirped and rested his head atop the painter's, wrapping his tail around my arm even as I wrapped my arm around the reindeer. Snowflakes landed on us one by one.

BOOM!

…Snowflakes that were slowly turning pink. I glanced up at the sky, where the clouds were taking on a soft cherry hue. "Chopper, look!"

"What?" The little reindeer got up, planting one hoof on my shoulder as he stood on his tiptoes and gazed at the sky. Then he gasped; tears fell on my shoulder one by one, blending with the melting snowflakes.

Above us, the whole sky was glowing with soft pink. It was fountaining up from the Drum Rockies- presumably from the castle, although I couldn't see the building from this far away. As the pink snowflakes fell, they sparkled like Swarovski crystals. A particularly large one landed on the tip of Chopper's nose and melted away. The whole sky looked like some giant tree dropping great, feathery blossoms on the sea.

BOOM! BOOM!

More pink fountained upwards to fall back down around us. I caught one on my tongue, curious. It tasted metallic, with a faint hint of chlorine. Not exactly the most appealing flavour. Still pretty though. Soon the entire ship glittered with pink, a thin layer of snow covering everything.

More tears fell on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around Chopper as best I could, though our positioning made it awkward. The little reindeer was shaking, and not from the cold. Lisa must've noticed our movements; she turned around without getting up, shifting until she could hug Chopper from behind.

One by one the rest of the crew came over, dusted with pink as they stared awestruck at the sky. Luffy placed a hand on Chopper's head and beamed up at the pink clouds, with Zoro and Ghin standing tall behind him. Johnny quietly reached for Yosaku's hand, smiling softly. Nami leaned on the rail and gazed dreamily up at the sky, not even protesting when Sanji draped an arm across her shoulders. Usopp knelt beside me and rested his arms on the rail with a happy sigh. Vivi's face was full of awe, leaning on Carue as the duck appeared from below decks with Jack and Mairead. Even Mr Thirteen and Miss Friday were smiling- insofar as they could- and watching the pink clouds with unabashed warmth.

Soft flakes continued to fall, weighing down the brim of my hat and covering everything in a blanket that was both cold and warm. Shining, shimmering pink flakes, like falling stars. The sparkling pink fluffs gave everything a magical feel. It was like being wrapped in the meteorological equivalent of a hug.

"Doctor…" Chopper's voice was soft as he blinked at the sky. "Doctorine…"