Thank you for the reviews and I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long time! Life has been very busy! I promise I will finish this story. Hope you enjoy this!

Chapter 40

After I watch Merrick being taken away, I head towards the Seam. I have questions for Gale that cannot wait until morning. Not even the dark windows of the Hawthorne house prevent me from my mission. I knock on the front door with no answer. I bang harder, loud enough for him to hear it. In very little time, the door swings open. It's Gale.

"It's just Katniss, Mom." Gale calls back into the darkness. He then pulls me inside and shuts the door.

"Why are you here?" he asks angrily.

"What was on that knife?" I ask him with equal intensity.

"What are you talking about?" he asks, not following me.

"There was something on that blade. What did you put on it?"

"Nothing."

"What was it?" I ask again, this time pushing him into the door.

"Nothing, I swear. Why?"

"I think there was some sort of poison on it. He wasn't doing well. I had to get him to the Peacekeeper barracks. They have him now."

"I…I'm sorry." he mutters. "I didn't put anything on it though."

"Where did you get it?"

"I bought it at the Hob before it burnt down."

"If I were you, I'd be careful. Stay out of the woods. I'm sure they'll be investigating this."

"What makes you think that?"

"It's Thread's son. I'm sure he'll want someone to pay for this."

"Do you think Merrick will give me up?" he asks with fear.

"No, he'd never. I'd better go. It's late." I say reaching for the door. Gale's hand covers mine before I can turn the knob.

"Curfew." he warns me.

"I forgot about that." I softly tell him.

"I don't think victors are exempt from it. You'll have to stay the night. You can have my bed."

"Gale." I sigh.

"It's fine. I'll take the couch. It's my fault you're here in the first place."

I don't say anything in response. He leads me to his room and makes sure I'm in bed before retiring to the living room.

I wake up and it's still dark out. I'm not surprised. I didn't expect to make it through the night. I have too much to worry about. Where is Merrick now? Will he be ok? What if they make him reveal the truth? I also realize that I'm not alone. Gale has decided to join me. He is facing me and I can feel his hand resting on the side of my waist.

"Gale." I whisper while nudging his shoulder. He body jumps as I bring him out of a deep sleep.

"What?" he asks worried.

"Why are you in here?"

"Couch wasn't long enough."

"Then I'll sleep there." I say starting to get up.

"No, stay." he quickly pleads. "I have some things I want to tell you."

"Like what?" I ask, lying back down. He's quiet, mustering up enough strength to say whatever it is he wants to say. He closes his eyes and nuzzles his face close to mine.

"I miss you terribly." he tell me with a trembling voice.

"I have to go." I say as I quickly remove myself from his bed. I'm not sure of the time it is and at this point, I could care less about curfew hours. I can't bear to have this conversation with him. I think I'm safe when I reach the living room but he gains of me.

"I'm lost without you." he says getting in front of me, misty-eyed. "You've been a part of my life for so long…I don't want to know life without you." He takes my hand and I've never seen him so desperate.

"We can be friends." I suggest.

"I can't be friends with you." he says caressing my face.

"It's the only thing we can be." I tell him. He's quiet. "I'll give you some time to this about this." I say before I slip out the front door and head towards home.

It's been a week and Merrick still hasn't returned, which leaves me filled with worry. I've even started sleeping in the guest room to be close to the back door, just in case. He should have been healed by now. I start to wonder if he's even in District 12 at all. I won't give up in though, I think as I slip under the covers in the guest room once more. Maybe tonight will be the night.

I am wakened with the sunlight peeking through the curtains and find I am not alone. I'm in bed with a boy…a boy I wasn't expecting, with his hand intertwined with mine. As I take him in, I see that bandages cover his arm and abdomen. He has gash on his temple that has been stitched up. My heart sinks as I think about why this has happened to him. The mines…the place that scares me more than any other place in this District.

"Gale." I whisper as I gently massage his thumb with mine. I feel his fingers twitch and he turns his face towards me.

"Catnip." he says in a soft breath.

"What happened?" I whisper back.

"The mines." he simply tells me. I know he's too drowsy to tell me the whole story right now. He turns his body towards me and puts his arm around me. He doesn't show any signs of pain, leading me to believe my mother has given him quite a bit of medicine.

There is a silence before he speaks again. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad you're safe." I murmur back.

"I didn't think I would make it." he admits.

"What happened there?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"One minute I'm telling the guy operating the drill to slow down, the next minute I'm crying in agony as I am being carried here."

"I don't like you being down there. Is this enough of a wake up call?" I ask, misty-eyed. He shakes his head. "Will there ever be any way to convince you?"

"Choose me." he murmurs nuzzling his face closer to mine.

"You'd do that?" I question him.

"Tell me I'm yours and I"ll quit tomorrow." he confirms. I'm quiet. "You once told me you loved me. I think deep down some of those feeling are still there."

"I need some time…to think about it." I find myself saying, without thinking.

"Really?" he asks, with hope it his eyes. I nod my head. His lips meet mine for a brief kiss and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel anything.

"I'm going to make us breakfast." I tell him to get out of the situation before it can escalate. I ease him down until he is laying flat on the bed before exiting the bedroom.

I walk to the kitchen and sit on the bench by the window resting my forehead on my bent knees. Did I really just tell him I'd considered being with him? I'm just tired of seeing him hurt. I let out a groan as I stand up and walk to the refrigerator. I take out the things I need and give the door a hard push to close it.

'You're being selfish, Katniss.' I think as I crack the eggs into a bowl. 'No, not selfish…entitled. You can't expect people to change their whole lives just to fit what you want.'

Is this where my title of victor has left me…feeling as those my wishes are the most important? I have fame and money, which seem like characteristics that matter. "…in the Capitol." I say with a cringe. That's how people get there way there. "I'm not like them." I say as I wisk the eggs.

"I just care about him." I say to myself as I pour the eggs into the pan. 'If you care about him so much, then why not be with him?' the voice in my head tells me. "It's not that simple." I say.

"What's not that simple?" Prim asks as she walks into the kitchen. I jump.

"Nothing, just thinking about things."

"Katniss you can tell me about things. I'm not a little girl anymore." she says.

"I was just thinking about mentoring at the Games." I lie.

"I'm sure you'll do great. Lots of people like you. I'm sure you'll have no problem getting our tributes what they need."

"I wish Peeta was around. He was always so much better with words."

"At least you have Haymitch." she says, being the positive person she always is. I roll my eyes. "Come on, Katniss, he's not all bad."

"Yeah." I say with a sigh.

"How is Gale doing?" she asks, changing the subject. "I helped take care of him when they brought him here."

"Ok I guess. He's on too much medicine to feel anything."

"Make sure he stays that way. The gashes were pretty deep."

"Maybe you should take care of him." I nervously suggest.

"I think he'd like it best if it were you."

"But I have no clue what I'm doing!" I admit.

"Mom left everything you need in that box over there. And you've taken care of him before. Plus, I told Mom I would meet her at the mines. They're still trying to get the others out."

"What happened?" I asked.

"After the drill malfunction…after Gale got out, one of the tunnels collapsed. They've been working all night to get them out."

"Oh."

"I've got to go." Prim says looking at the clock before dashing away. I finish breakfast and take it on a tray to the guest room. Gale's eyes follow me as I set it down on the dresser. I then wrap my arms around him to help sit him up. I can't ignore the wince he makes when I help him.

"I'm sorry. Do you need more medicine?"

"No, I'm fine." he quickly says. "Stay." he adds, taking my hand.

"I'm just going to get the tray." I say before releasing myself from him. I set the tray on the bed and hand him his plate and a fork before taking my own.

"This is really good." he lets me know.

"Thank you."

"You've become quite the chef."

"I'll make sure to highlight that on my next interview with Caesar." I quip. His smile fades.

"You have to go back there?" he said with worry.

"Yes, I won and I'll be mentoring now…every year until I find someone who can replace me."

"I don't like the idea of you being that close to Snow."

"I never should have told you about him."

"No, someone needs to know in case something happens to you." he argues.

"There's nothing you could do. He'd destroy you."

"Ok." he says, letting it go. I take his plate and notice that there are red patches on his bandages.

"Your bandages need changing." I inform him before getting up. I retrieve the box from the kitchen and rush back to his bedside. I carefully peel back the bandage on his arm first and am met with the aftermath— slashes and burns exposed. They look horrible. I keep my composure as best I can but I can't help the tears from escaping my eyes.

"Don't worry, they'll go away." he says, using his other hand to wipe my tears. I spray some disinfectant on them and he lets out a painful groan. Before I continue, inject him with more medicine to help with the pain. His abdomen is worse. I work quickly and quietly until I'm finished, then lower him back down so his head is on his pillow. His droopy eyelids tell me that the medicine is already working.

"Have you thought about us?" he murmurs.

"I'll let you know when I've made my decision. Right now you need to rest." I tell him.

"Ok." he says as he closes his eyes and lets the medicine take him under.

Katniss is conflicted...which one will she choose?

How is everyone feeling right now...Team Gale or Team Merrick? Let me know in your review ;)