The mission group had finally arrived back on base. Instead of immediately going to the debriefing that Optimus wanted the first few hours of the morning were spent making sure everyone was fed, washed, and as healthy as Ratchet could possibly make them. First Aid wasn't a bad medic, but the mech hadn't had any supplies in Oklahoma, so he had done what he could temporarily to get them back so Ratchet could take care of the long term repairs. Miles was the only human from the trip noticeably hurt; due to this and the fact that Epps still wasn't feeling that well—a mere 'bug' as he called it and a minor cold according to Ratchet— they decided to hold the debriefing in Will's office so the two could have somewhere comfortable to sit if they wanted to do so. This meant that the Cybertronians had to use their holoforms, but no fuss was made over such a small thing. In fact, Bumblebee and Sam had already made their way inside and dragged Barricade along with them.
Optimus Prime joined them shortly, temporarily allowed to commandeer Will's desk for his own use to host the meeting. Prowl came in after him, Jazz and Epps walking in behind him together. Jazz's holoform was inspired by Epps, the only one of the Cybertronians to appear as a black human, although the Saboteur had to be taller than the Sergeant just to annoy him. Fig and Will followed after the pair, Miles trailing behind them, and then finally Ironhide showed up after storing away all the weapons. First Aid, Inferno, Wheeljack, and Trailbreaker had been allowed to skip the debriefing; Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had been dismissed to show the four new 'bots around.
Outside of Optimus, only Barricade, Bumblebee, and Sam were bothering to sit down. All of those that had been on the mission stood at attention in front of the Prime, even Miles doing his best to copy the soldiers' stance.
"It is good to see you back, old friend." Optimus said, addressing Jazz. "I do have to commend you on your choice of holoform, it will help us blend in more if we diversify our looks."
Jazz grinned, "Glad ta be back, Optimus."
"I've heard that you all had quiet the time." The Prime's gaze swept over the four humans in front of him before landing on Miles, "I am unsure whether to question why you took on Ravage on your own, or if I should be weary of the answer."
"He was following orders, actually." Will replied, stepping in. "He was told to go to Wheeljack and Trailbreaker for safety reasons. Apparently Trailbreaker feared his shield going down and being attacked directly by Soundwave so he gave Miles the shard and ordered him over to Prowl, who was supposed to wake up sooner than he did. He was doing exactly what he was ordered to."
"There was no one near enough to me that could have protected him," Prowl added, "Will could not have known that he would be given the shard and become a target because of it. It was an unfortunate and unforeseen circumstance."
Optimus looked at the Captain and SIC carefully, trying to see if they were just defending the teen to try and keep him out of trouble or if they were defending him by merely telling the truth. It was unlikely that Prowl would lie to him, especially for organics he held no real positive emotions towards as of yet, and it was even more unlikely that the Autobots on the trip or the soldiers would have just let Miles wander out of their sight to go and get hurt. Some circumstances outside of their control had to have happened, which meant the teen didn't need to be punished.
"I see," Optimus replied after a long moment before turning to look at the teen. "How is your prognosis then, Miles?"
"Temporary scratching post but that was it," Miles answered. "Prowl got the robo-cat off me before he could do anything too serious. Ratchet put in a few stitches but said I probably would have been fine without it. I was more worried about our 'bots and Mr. Tentacle Pron then kitty, to be honest."
"Tentacle pron?" Optimus asked, raising an optic ridge.
"Do not look that up under any circumstances, Prime." Prowl said dryly, shooting Miles a dark look. "It is a rather odd idea from the humans and picturing the Decepticon Communications Officer Soundwave doing such things is… unpleasant, to say the least."
"Well, it's not my fault that you took it upon yourself to imagine it right after you looked it up!" Miles replied with a huff.
"I see you two have been…" Here the Prime paused as he considered his word choice. "Getting along well."
"I fully commend Decepticon Neutral Barricade on how long he has put up with Civilian Miles Lancaster. I thought all Decepticons were programmed to kill anything they found annoying; yet Civilian Miles Lancaster still lives." Prowl replied, hiding an all too obvious insult at the teen in the compliment for Barricade.
"Hey!" Miles cried indignantly, "Are you calling me annoying?"
"So he still hasn't figured out that Jazz put you up to it yet?" Will asked, not caring at all that he was giving the teen and probably Epps away, though he widened his eyes and put his hand over his mouth to at least act like he had slipped.
The room went silent for a moment as Prowl turned and looked to Jazz, who was doing his best to look innocent. Epps was glaring at his Captain, which meant he obviously didn't buy the slip up. The look on Prowl's face was an odd one; a mixture between anger and 'why me'. It was Miles who broke the silence as he looked between Prowl and Optimus with a slightly nervous gaze.
"He's technically my superior officer so that means I was just following orders. I can't be put in the brig for that, can I?" Miles asked hesitantly, causing Epps to stop glaring at Will and laugh instead.
"I believe Prowl might have to work on a rule book that covers Cybertronians and humans working together, but no, you won't be put in the brig." Optimus assured him.
"Alright!" Miles grinned, going and leaning against the wall near Barricade, Sam, and Bumblebee.
"We will have a talk later in my office, Jazz." Prowl said finally, ignoring his Prime and the teen that had been annoying him.
"Aw, Prowler, Ah was jus' havin' some fun." Jazz said, a smirk coming onto his face as he got ready to play his trump card. "Comin' back from the dead an' all, Ah jus' wante' a sense of… normalcy."
Most of the anger visibly left Prowl at that, but he kept his glare on Jazz for a moment before turning back to Optimus. He ignored Epps, who was snickering, and the fact that his Prime was hiding his beyond obvious amusement.
"When I do write that rule book Miles has helped me think of many things to add to it." Prowl said, not even looking at Miles. "No pretending to have a speed radar to scare humans into behaving the law, no gum, no sending a Cybertronian to search for something that will cause any glitch they have to kick in, and no 9,001 cubes of energon on the wall."
"Why 9,001?" Sam asked, feigning ignorance. He knew exactly why, of course, but that didn't mean he couldn't get enjoyment out of asking.
Epps, Will, Miles, Jazz, and even Bumblebee immediately said "Because it's over 9,000!" at the same time. Sam broke down into laughter, while Ironhide and Fig just shook their heads in amusement. Barricade rolled his eyes and Optimus just gave his men an amused smile, Prowl's confused and exasperated look only making it all more amusing.
If nothing else, he was happy to see that his 'bots had been taking to the human culture, appearing to even enjoy some of it as well as getting along with Earth's most dominant species. He would be sad to see the day when their current human allies had to pass and he generally tended to push the thought out of his processors. He knew how close some of his 'bots were getting to them, especially Bumblebee and Ironhide. He'd hate to see their reaction when their favorite humans died.
He coughed, drawing everyone's attention to him again. "If you would begin the debriefing, Prowl. I'm sure most of us would like to be somewhere else."
"You got that right!" Epps said, stretching his arms above his head. "Miles and me stayed up the whole last day just to drive Prowl bonkers. My blood mainly consists of coffee and I've got to take a piss."
Prowl pointedly decided to ignore that remark, and started to talk. All of the Autobots knew that the SIC could simply send his Prime a databurst of what had happened, but for the sake of the humans and the Decepticon Neutral in the room, he would be going through everything in detail.
He went over which human had been in which Autobot, where they stopped, what time they stopped, and what they stopped for. Any purchases that the humans made and actually brought into the Autobots were mentioned. How they had abused his alt mode most of the way to get their faster and the subsequent injuries that had made them miss their deadline. The battle with Soundwave and the cassetticons, how he took out Rumble but was offlined by the rest of the mini 'cons. That Fig, Will, and Epps deactivated either Laserbeak or Buzzsaw, and that Miles had gone after Ravage and had eventually worked with Prowl to deactivate the cat mech. He included that Epps was the one to put the Allspark shard in Jazz's spark chamber, and that First Aid had looked over the 'bots and humans a bit. Then he included the ride home.
By the time he was done about an hour had past, he was nothing if not thorough. Epps had begun shifting from foot to foot, discreetly taking out his phone and occasionally texting Will. Will had done his best to ignore Epps until the Sergeant started to kick him in the shin to get him to reply. Fig pulled out a paper back from his pants, though no one could figure out how he had managed to stuff it in there. Ironhide and Jazz just let most of their consciousness return to their real bodies, accessing the internet, cleaning weapons, and talking to people outside of the office. Barricade and Optimus just stayed still and listened, though both wandered off in their own thoughts. Miles had fallen asleep leaning against the wall, and Bumblebee and Sam were currently throwing pieces of paper at each other.
It took everyone a moment to realize that Prowl had actually finished; another moment was needed for Sam and Bumblebee to sit upright again, Fig to put his book away, Jazz and Ironhide to snap their consciousness back to their holoforms, and Will and Epps to put their phones away. Sam didn't notice that Miles had fallen asleep until Barricade nudged him, gesturing to their mutual friend.
"Thank you, Prowl. You, Sam, Bumblebee, Barricade, and Miles may go." Optimus said, effectively dismissing them before he turned his attention to the others in his office. He told Epps, Will, and Fig he expected a report from each of them, and the same to Ironhide and Jazz.
"Here," Sam said as he got up from his seat, moving over to Miles and placing a hand on the other teen's shoulder. He used that to push him away from the wall and towards Barricade. "You can have him."
This naturally startled Miles into waking up, the teen panicking as he stumbled and started to fall. A form stepped out and caught him; in his still groggy state it took him a moment to realize it was Barricade and just what had happened to make him fall in the first place, with Sam's laughter being a dead give away.
"Barry!" Miles exclaimed, grinning up at the holoform's face. "I heard you were a good boy while I was gone. I'm very proud of you."
Barricade scoffed, glaring at Miles as he let go of the teenager. "It's amazing how quickly you make me wish I had dropped you."
"Aw, Barry, you know you missed me!" Miles pouted, Sam's snickering increasing.
"Think again, fleshling." Barricade growled, leaving the room.
"He missed me." Miles told Sam confidently, smirking at his friend.
"I'm just happy you haven't been killed yet," Sam replied, throwing his arm around Miles' shoulders. He steered the both of them out of Will's office, Bumblebee's holoform following behind them. "We need to keep you away from Cybertronians with cop car alt modes, my friend."
"I have to agree with Samuel on this one, Miles. I am pleasantly surprised that Barricade has restrained from deactivating you." Bumblebee teased, smirking slightly.
Miles huffed, "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up you two. Soon as someone does kill me for being obnoxiously annoying you'll both be sorry!"
Bumblebee and Sam laughed, the three meeting up with Barricade near the humans dining facilities so that Sam could grab lunch, before heading to the barracks so Miles could get some sleep.
Miles woke up to the sound of a door opening and he blearily looked at the clock that was on Sam's dresser. He'd gone back to their shared room and fallen asleep by noon, now it was just nearing nine at night. He'd spent his entire sleep on his stomach, favoring it to his back with it still so raw.
"How was dinner?" Miles asked sleepily, "And did you ever call my parents to explain that I wouldn't be returning home right away?"
"Not the Insect's favorite," a voice replied.
Miles moved to sit up in shock, a hand on his shoulder keeping him down even as his mind caught up and realized that it was Barricade's holoform in the room and not Sam. The teen huffed, settling down onto his stomach again and turning his head enough so that he could look at the 'con.
"Take off your shirt," Barricade ordered.
"Why do all of your apologies turn out to be something like this?" Miles grumbled, "Because I swear if someone told you that getting me naked was a good way to-"
"I am not asking to see you naked," Barricade interrupted as he growled, "I have a salve from Ratchet for your back."
"Oh."
The teen squirmed out of his t-shirt then, lying back down on his bed so that the 'con could work on his back. Barricade quickly set to work, Miles holding his tongue to not complain about how cold the ointment was. The holoform was putting the ointment on with something akin to hesitation, applying it to the widest cut on his upper back gently and then pausing as if he was waiting for Miles to say something.
And it was that hesitation that gave the 'con away and made Miles realize he was lying. He recalled that Ratchet had ordered him to come back to the Med-bay when he woke up so that the medic could put on the ointment for him; while he almost could believe that the CMO would give the salve to someone else it seemed unlikely he would willingly give it to someone without telling them exactly how to apply it. Like what way they should put it on and how much pressure they should avoid. And the Cybertronians being walking super computers would remember that and be able to apply it without any worry, especially on Barricade's part had he actually gotten the ointment from the medic.
"How'd you steal this from him, then?"
Barricade's ministrations ceased completely for a moment and Miles knew that he'd hit the mark.
"You may recall that I am a Decepticon," Barricade replied after a moment, his hands beginning to move once more.
"Asked some faceless uniform to get it for you, didn't you?"
"I think you need to be quiet for me to put this on."
Miles laughed, "But being right is making me feel so much better!"
Barricade gave a warning growl and the teen decided to keep his mouth shut for a bit. He appreciated how thoughtful it was of the 'con to do this, but he couldn't help but wonder if perhaps there was some other reasoning behind it. He decided not to ask; it was nice as it was and he didn't need to ruin it for himself by finding out that Barricade just really hated Ratchet or something stupid like that.
"This was so much better than a romantic dinner," Miles said when Barricade finished.
Barricade snorted, "You apologized first, this time."
"If there is anything you learn from me please let it be that 'you apologized first' is not what you say when you want an argument to be over." Miles deadpanned.
"How about I was right, then?" Barricade asked in a tone that Miles couldn't place, and the teen sat up to stare at him. "You could have died."
Miles thought about retorting, but he knew it was true, and so he just sighed instead. He didn't think there was ever a time where he could have actually died, but he certainly could have came out of it a lot more hurt than he did if Prowl hadn't already been awake when Ravage had attacked him. Trailbreaker should have never given him the Allspark shard; he could only imagine that the mech was going to get a stern talking down by Ratchet for his mistake, although he hadn't seen any better courses of action at that moment.
"Yeah," Miles agreed and if it hadn't been over something so serious he might have enjoyed the momentary shock on Barricade's face. "You were right, but so was I. Maybe there was no more reason for me to go other then I just wanted to, but can't that be enough?"
"The Scout tortured me while you were away," Barricade said. Miles looked at him questioningly, unsure where he was trying to go with that. "Painted me pink while I slept and had a line of organics call me Rosie. There was a picnic, too. Hotdogs and hamburgers and then I stayed out with the Insect and your little friends and they ate marshmallows and we stargazed and it was altogether very sickening."
"I'm sorry I missed that," Miles replied with amusement.
And then he realized it was more honest then amused, because he was sorry that he had missed all of that. Bumblebee deciding he could mess with Barricade had to have been a hoot. A cook out and wasting the night away just talking with the four of them would have been something he knew he would have enjoyed. It also made him realize that small feeling of regret, the knowledge that he had missed out on good memories, was what Barricade had been aiming for.
"Look, I-"
"No," Barricade snarled, making Miles shut up instantly. This was a tone he recognized, a deep anger that was only slightly revealed in the tone of voice. "You have time yet to sell your soul to the Autodolts and your government. As of yet you owe them nothing. Enjoy your freedom while you still can."
It wasn't elegant, but it may have been the only way Barricade was comfortable with telling him to bask in his childhood. To not try and make himself worth something to the Autobots so they had a reason to keep him on base. He had a small moment of disorientation realizing he could actually piece that together from the backwards way of the 'con saying it—but it was smaller than the disorientation he had felt when he'd first realized that he could pick out facial expressions like happy or really angry, or when he started picking up anything but robotic and metallic from the voice. It had taken nearly two weeks for that to happen, but once it had he'd felt that they'd started to get on a lot better, that he had to guess less around him.
And he couldn't help but wonder if Bumblebee had tried to have a similar talk with Sam, though he doubted it would have been as backwards as Barricade was making it.
"I'm not fluent in Barry, yet." Miles told him, enjoying it when Barricade looked murderous. "But I think I got enough of that to translate it and agree with you."
Barricade glared, "As long as you stop being so stupid I could care less. I do have some responsibility for whether or not you get yourself killed, after all."
"Oh, is that why you tried to date me?" Miles teased, "And here you played it off as falling for Sideswipe's tricks!"
The teen laughed when Barricade growled and began to threaten him, deciding that perhaps the 'con really was right. After all, maybe he wouldn't have to worry about trying so hard to cement his own place on base to help the 'con out if he was becoming friends with the Scout.