Not long after Miles made it back to base relatively safe, he was sent right back to Tranquility so he could return to school and get caught up with anything he had missed. It was awkward keeping everything from his parents before, but with the constant reminder of his aching back and the thought that he might have stepped in too far to back out just as Barricade seemed to fear, it was so much worse now. He wanted nothing more than to walk up to his mother and hug her and maybe even cry into her shoulder. He had been scared, the most scared he'd been in his entire life, and though he'd done his best to act relatively normal afterwards it had left him off kilter and confused.
Barricade was still made to stay at the base, uncomplaining as ever about his situation there. He'd not gone far enough forward to really be trusted, but he'd managed to earn himself some mechs willing to at least talk to him, or in Bumblebee's case share an odd and tense kind of fledgeling friendship. It didn't matter too much because he, Sam, and Mikaela were still spending as much time at the base as they possibly could.
They were spending so much time there, in fact, that both teens realized around the same time and got upset by the fact that they really didn't know the new mechs yet. After a bit of debate they decided to tackle the scientist first, because he not only seemed the most friendly but he was also the only one they would be able to find alone. While talking to a mech with someone or somemech there was usually okay, it tended to be that the newer ones acted a bit differently around their own kind or around certain humans, so it was better for them to just walk the almost full mile to Wheeljack's lab.
According to Ratchet, the lab had been built about a mile away from the base for structural reasons; these reasons mainly being that it was a lot harder for the scientist to knock the whole of NEST flat when he had nothing near enough for him to do so. There wasn't much to actually see on the way there, but once they entered the human sized door there was a lot to look at. The main room seemed to be some sort of large computer set up. There were three large screens and a large panel coming off the wall that held rows upon rows of switches and buttons with Cybertronian symbols on them. On one wall there was multiple boxes stacked up with what looked like datapads inside of them.
Moving on, they exited into a long hallway that ended in a large set of double doors. Wheeljack was standing just in front of these double doors, entering a pass code into a keypad that was on the wall. Since the lab was made for Cybertronians the keypad was almost eight feet above either of their heads.
"Hey, Wheeljack," Sam called in greeting.
Wheeljack turned to look at them, "Oh, hello, little ones! And what brings you to my humble abode?"
"We wanted to actually get to know you," Sam replied with a grin. "Give you the human stamp of approval."
"Oh, that illusive reward?" Wheeljack asked with a small smile, "I hear Prowl's not even received it yet, I doubt I can be rewarded such an honor."
Miles laughed, "You're always busy, so we thought we'd come to you instead of vice versa to give you the chance."
"Joking aside, I do apologize for that." Wheeljack responded sincerely, "Prime has requested that I make a satellite to send the message he wants our faction to find far deeper into space than what yours can do."
"Is that what the nitroglycerin is for?" Sam asked slyly. Miles gave him a surprised and slightly confused glance, while Wheeljack just laughed.
"And how do you know of that?"
"The soldiers like me."
"Oh, I imagine so. Apparently you young organics are quite hard to dislike, be it by older organics or us mechs, hmm?" Wheeljack questioned lightly, though it was obvious he expected no answer. "Come on, then. I will show you."
The mech hit a last key on the key pad and three light beeps followed before the large doors in front of him slid open. The teens followed him as walked down a very large ramp, Sam having to jog a bit before the doors closed between them. The ramp itself bottomed out into a large room that seemed bigger than even the hangar that the mechs had claimed for recharge, parts of it partitioned off from others by thin gray walls. From the size of the room and the way the ramp went down it was obvious that it was stationed underground, probably as another measure to try and make sure that nothing Wheeljack-related was able to harm the base.
Wheeljack led them around one of the partitions into a smaller section of the large room that held a large black cylinder. The side of the cylinder facing them had a clear pane, and inside it could be seen that the cylinder itself had many parts to it. It reminded Miles of a Rube Goldberg machine, what with the way it was all connected and just waiting to start a chain reaction to produce whatever the scientist was looking for, but it seemed too over complicated. The scientist went behind the cylinder and did something that neither teen could see, which then caused a loud humming to start as things inside of it began to move.
"It's a very delicate process, making energon." Wheeljack informed them, "There are not similar enough materials on this planet of yours to replicate it entirely, but finding something better than what you humans use to power your vehicles is necessary as it is not quite right for us and has its drawbacks. Nitroglycerin is close to a component in energon that I haven't found anywhere else. This should create something similar enough to energon to give us proper, clean, energy that our bodies can accept better."
"Who's going to test it out?" Miles asked, sharing an amused look with Sam.
"Me, of course!"
"And if you don't respond to it well?"
Wheeljack chuckled, "Then I suppose a visit to Ratchet will be in order."
"You're signing your own death warrant," Sam pointed out with a grin, and Wheeljack grinned back good naturedly.
An odd clack came from inside the cylinder and Wheeljack turned to give it an alarmed look just as the humming started to increase in frequency. A small flash followed by a loud bang went off inside of the cylinder, quickly followed by another. There was a high pitched whine and a sizzling sound just before everything exploded.
Sam groaned as he slowly woke up, taking stock of everything. His mouth was dry, his skin felt raw and hot like he'd gotten a sunburn, and his head hurt a lot. He tried to swallow a few times to work up saliva in his mouth, but nothing seemed to help. He remembered quite well that something had started to go wrong with Wheeljack's invention, but he couldn't remember how he'd ended up injured, so he peeked his eyes open and looked around in confusion.
Above him was nothing but black metal and it took him a bit to figure out that it was actually Wheeljack's servo, his body curled to accommodate the appendage surrounding him. Sam turned on to his stomach and saw that there was an opening near his head between some of the scientist's digits and outside of it he could see Miles sitting against a wall, his eyes closed and head leaned against it.
"Miles..." Sam called, swallowing thickly as it rubbed at his throat wrong.
Miles' eyes flew open and the teen crawled the few feet from his spot over to Wheeljack's servo. "Sam! Thank God you're okay!"
"What happened?" Sam asked, "I know there was a bit of an explosion, but..."
"A fucking huge explosion," Miles corrected. "Wheeljack realized things weren't going to end well and protected us. I only really know that he shoved me down to the ground and suddenly there was a huge fucking hand surrounding me as I went death momentarily and then listened as things started to fall apart, but I assume he did it to you, too. He's really out of it."
Sam realized that it was more than likely Wheeljack's fault that his head hurt so bad. It wasn't a stretch to imagine that in his panic the scientist managed to knock him in the head while he tried to get him on the ground to protect him from the explosion, but he wasn't feeling exactly grateful to the mech while his head hurt as bad as it did.
"You can go get help now," Sam sighed.
"Actually..." Miles ran a hand through his hair in a clear show of nervousness, "We've kind of been caved in."
"You have got to be kidding me," Sam hissed.
He wiggled forward and tried to press through the opening, but quickly realized that his shoulders were too wide to make it. He turned his head about trying to look at the damage that Miles was indicating and realized he couldn't see it well on his stomach, though when he glanced up he could see clear cracks in the ceiling. He shimmied back inside of the space and quickly turned onto his back instead and stuck his head back out. He could now clearly see the cave in that Miles had mentioned. It was a scant few feet from where the scientist was lying unconscious, as far as he could tell. His position from mostly under the scientist's servo didn't actually give him a good way to imagine how the scientist lay.
"Do you have any idea what happened to Wheeljack?" Sam asked.
"Dents in his helm and rubble on the ground," Miles replied shortly.
So that meant that the scientist had probably been knocked out by falling pieces of the ceiling. Sam rested his head on the ground after peering at everything he could and let out another loud groan. He pulled out his phone and checked the time and was disappointed to see that it was only a bit after noon. He'd been out for about three hours according to his phone, and that whole time no one or mech had bothered to find them. He was even more disappointed to see that he was getting no signal. But it was only a matter of waiting. Bumblebee only ever allowed a few hours to pass by without checking up on him, and the Scout would know he wouldn't leave the base without telling him.
"Bumblebee and Ratchet are gonna have a field day," Sam muttered.
Miles snorted, "Oh, you mean that we're going to die pretty soon?"
"More like Wheeljack is."
Miles laughed, and the two fell silent. Sam shimmied back into the space under Wheeljack's servo again so he could roll back on to his stomach and then poked his head out once more so he could look at his friend properly. There was a small scratch on Miles' forehead that hadn't been there before, but otherwise he seemed entirely fine.
"We should do something fun," Sam suggested. "I'm getting angry just laying here."
"You mean depressed," Miles responded with a grin.
Sam sighed, not even all that upset that his friend knew him too well. "Bumblebee should have found me by now."
"Upset his Sam senses aren't tingling?"
"Fuck off."
Miles snickered, "Alright, something fun. Like what?"
Sam gave that some serious thought. There wasn't that many games he could remember that were done verbally, and though he had a few games on his phone it was almost dead and there wasn't any that Miles could join in on. Being stuck under Wheeljack's servo just made it harder to imagine actually doing something to lift his spirits.
"Well... long before you came on base Epps had this idea of making sexual innuendos around a Cybertronian's name, their occupation, or their alt mode of choice." Sam offered after a moment. He waited for Miles to nod before giving him a name, "Starscream first."
Miles laughed, "That's almost too easy. Stars cream? That sounds like a total porn name."
"He's a fighter jet, so for a good pick up line..." Sam deepened his voice, "Want to sit in my cockpit, baby?"
"Want to join the mile high club?" Miles countered.
Sam laughed, "Ohhh, that's a new one. What about Bumblebee, then? We couldn't come up with much for him."
"Hey, baby, can I put my stinger in you?" Miles waggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. "Be cause I can hardly wait to bee-in you."
"Oh, God, that's awful!" Sam snickered, "Barricade."
"I hear you get all these pesky fleshling admirers," Miles' deep growl wasn't actually that off from Barricade's own. "Let me barricade your entrance and I can guarantee that they won't get in."
"Don't worry, fleshling, I won't punish you too hard." Sam offered, though he couldn't get his imitation anywhere close to Barricade's voice.
"Ratchet," Miles demanded with a grin.
"Naughty nurse Ratchet?" Sam asked innocently.
Miles burst into laughter at the image, and Sam quickly joined his friend. With the medic's bedside manner it was completely hilarious to imagine him trying to be gentle or even flirtatious. The sound of muffled talking reached them, followed by that of digging, and the two grinned at each other, knowing that they'd be saved soon.
Miles made a kissy face at Sam, batting his eyes. "Awe, I see your hurt, young Samuel. Should I kiss all your booboos better?"
"I'm not gonna be able to look him in the optics if you say stuff like that!"
"You don't need to look at his optics if you're taking in his needle." Miles waggled his eyebrows once more and Sam gave in and laughed. "But fine, no more Ratchet. It's hard to imagine that mech doing anything sexual related. Almost horrifying, really. What about boss 'bot, then?""He's the leader so overly dominating?" Sam suggested.
Miles looked like he was holding back tears, "Bondage! Tying all his interface partners up!"
"And lets not forget Prowl. He's more of a hard ass then Ironhide. He'd be the bitch!"
"Pfft, begging to be punished and saying he's been a bad boy!" Miles laughed.
"And then Ironhide. Something with guns…" Sam started, looking at Miles.
"'Hey baby, check out these guns!" They blurted in unison, falling into hysterics once more.
Over the next hour as they were dug out the two would come up with many more things to make each other laugh. By the time Bumblebee's holoform could get inside the room they were laughing so hard that the mech feared there was something in the air and that they needed immediate medical attention. He called for Ratchet to form a holoform and look them over but that just made them laugh harder.
After 'the incident', as the lab explosion had come to be called, Prowl got out the rule book and wrote two new ones. One was that Sam and Miles were allowed no where near the lab any longer; the second was that any human who wished to visit the lab for whatever reason, unless they were Sam or Miles, needed to have a Cybertronian—preferably one with thick armor like Ironhide or the twins—escorting them. Neither of the teens protested being banned from returning to the lab, both having been made to suffer through a nearly two hour long rant from Ratchet about stupid mistakes and how they could have been killed. Sam had been checked over thoroughly and outside of a large bruise on his forehead the teen wasn't any worse for wear.
In punishment, both had been returned home for the weekend, and Miles was now currently at the lake with his large Mastiff, Mason. In part it was so he could escape his house and in lieu of the base it seemed to work. The teen wasn't sure how his mother always knew when his world went off kilter, like she had seemed to know when he'd first met Barricade, but it was obvious he was worrying her and it pained him to do so. His mother made it clear that she knew something had happened, but not what, and there was endless questions.
Miles groaned, flinging a stick hard into the lake. He had jogged the entire way there to try and work off some of the anxious feeling that was inside of him, and it had worked, some. And seeing his loyal dog soaking wet, tail wagging like mad as he dived into the lake once more, helped to assuage the rest as long as he didn't think about all the things he so desperately wanted to.
But both the boy and the dog were surprised when a cop car pulled up; Mason forgoing his stick entirely at the prospect of a friendly stranger and running right past his owner to go and sniff at the car. Miles, however, already knew the police cruiser quite well and knew that no human would be stepping out of it for his dog to greet.
"Barry?" Miles asked, confusion evident in his voice as he walked towards the Cybertronian and his dog. "I thought they were still keeping you on a short leash?"
"Captain Lennox has something he wishes to talk to you and Ladiesman217 about," Barricade replied, the 'con shiftings on his shocks away from Mason. "I was given permission by the Prime to retrieve you while the Insect gets his favored human. Hop in, we're going straight there."
The teen was almost surprised that Optimus had actually shown such trust in him, but then he realized he hadn't. Bumblebee was close enough to keep an optic on Barricade since they were both right in Tranquility. Most likely both had thought that the 'con would be going no farther than Miles' house, only about five miles away from Sam's. But Miles hadn't been there and Barricade apparently remembered where he liked to go when he wanted to think, except this was probably much farther away from Bumblebee than Optimus had intended Barricade to be, because even the teen knew that the Scout could no longer keep a tab on the Decepticon when he was this far away.
"Mason has to come too, then. Knowing how base is I won't make it back home 'till late Sunday or something, if I even make it to school on Monday, and my parents are about to leave for the weekend." Miles explained.
"That… thing is not getting inside of me. It is wet and muddy, and has claws." Barricade growled, revving his engine and scaring Mason enough get the Mastiff to back up towards his owner.
"He is coming or I'm not, and that's that." Miles replied, hands on his hips to accentuate his point. He decided to ignore the fact that anyone who might wander close enough would probably think him crazy, glaring at a cop car like he was.
Barricade snarled, contemplating just leaving before deciding against it. "If he does anything inside of me it will be you I do things to as I see fit."
"Fine, fine," Miles laughed. "Whatever you say."
The teen had to spend a couple of minutes coaxing the Mastiff towards Barricade's frame, but once he got there the dog willingly jumped in the backseat. It seemed that Mason had been just as spooked by a talking car with no human inside of it as Miles had been when he'd first met Barricade. Miles knew instantly that it was a terrible idea when he could already see the Mastiff leaving noticeable paw prints on the interior, but the mech said nothing and the teen didn't want to chance bringing it up if he hadn't noticed. So Miles climbed in the driver's seat, buckling up and pretending to drive automatically.
He said nothing when Mason left muddy paw prints on one of the back windows, though Barricade let out a small annoyed sound. He cringed when Mason did a full body shake, spraying water over most of the things in the vehicle, but still Barricade endured. It wasn't until he had started to notice the 'potty behavior', as his parents deemed it, that he began to get really worried. The drive to the NEST base was about two hours if it was a normal car or the Cybertronian was obeying the laws, and Barricade seemed to be all set for mostly obeying them on this particular day. He supposed it was because this was the first time Barricade had been let off the base, but either way he wished that it wasn't so. They were almost to the NEST base when Miles knew Mason couldn't hold it anymore and he desperately tried to get the Decepticon Neutral to pull over. Barricade had refused, believing that the animal could hold it for just a few minutes more.
The teen tried to hope that maybe he could. He could see the first few hangars of the base, along with the bright canary yellow of Bumblebee's alt mode. It seemed like only a few seconds passed before they were pulling into the base, Bumblebee shifting into bipedal mode just a few feet from them when Barricade slammed to a screeching halt in the middle of the tarmac, sending the teen forward and almost banging him off the steering wheel. And he knew then that he was doomed.
"No, Mason, no!" he cried, turning to glare at his dog, who just wagged his tail in return.
Sam and Bumblebee walked over to Barricade then and the teen stopped outside the driver's window and tapped on it, ready to ask just what was going on. When it rolled down he peered inside, noticing Mason in the back and Barricade's interior covered in muddy paw prints. Next to the Mastiff was a large wet spot; taking in Miles' paler than normal face he made the correct assumption and just let the large dog out of Barricade's backseat quickly. Miles tried to unbuckle his seat belt, but found it stuck fast.
"Barry, can you, uh, unbuckle me?" He asked softly, not receiving a reply. "Barricade…?"
"No, Miles." Barricade snarled, his engine roaring back to life as the back door slammed shut. His entire frame seemed to be shaking; the teen feared that it was in anger and not amusement. "You are not going anywhere."
Miles looked at Sam with wide eyes, clawing at the seat belt. He stopped when he felt it tighten around him, pressing him firmly against the seat.
"Don't worry, fleshling." Sam drawled in a low, husky tone as he leaned in the window so that Miles could hear him. "I won't punish you... too hard, anyway."
"Oh God," Miles gasped, flushing even more as he was torn between mild amusement and staying horrified at what was going to happen to him. "I seriously, seriously, hate you! Save me!"
Sam laughed, patting Barricade's hood. "Just try to bring a piece of him back for his parents, Cade."
Sam was pinned with Miles' best betrayed look, but Barricade's window rolled up too quickly for him to hear whatever his friend was going to say. He put on a grin and just waved cheerfully as the 'con quickly did a u-turn and tore out of the NEST base like Megatron himself was after him. He turned around, spotting Bumblebee's holoform out and petting Mason and he walked over to them. Bumblebee watched as Barricade left with Miles, slowly playing the Funeral March as he looked back down at Sam.
"Yeah, Bee, he's a goner." Sam replied, trying not to laugh as he bent down and petted the Mastiff.
Prowl watched the whole scene as Barricade returned to the NEST base with Civilian Miles Lancaster, standing in his Prime's office as the two looked out of the window. He was surprised when an animal, a dog like Mojo, had gotten out of the Decepticon Neutral once the back door had opened. This one was fairly bigger than the tiny Chihuahua; a quick search on the internet informed him the breed was referred to as a Mastiff. It was clear something unpleasant had happened and he watched with some amusement as Miles tried to escape from Barricade, only to be kept inside as the 'con turned around and left the way he had came.
"I am still amazed by how quickly we have adapted to a 'con in our midst," Prowl said softly. "Neutral or not."
"I believe that is in part do to Miles." Optimus replied, just as amused as his SIC was by the show they were inadvertently given. "He felt strongly over Barricade's fate even the first day he was brought here. A human who would put unflinching trust in a Cybertronian tends to mean that the Cybertronian has deserved it, for whatever reason."
"And the other part?" Prowl asked, watching as Sam and Bumblebee stayed at that spot, Sam playing with the Mastiff.
"This war has been going on far too long." The Prime stated simply, "Both sides are getting low on mechs and femmes. There is not a single one of us who didn't know someone on the opposite side and have some kind of positive feelings for them. The Allspark and Megatron are gone, there is no need to continue to fight when our planet and the reason for fighting are as dead as the Decepticon leader himself."
"Surely we should keep a close eye on him?"
"Of course we keep a watchful eye on the new comer, but why act rude if we are given no cause to?" Optimus asked with amusement, "As of yet there is no reason to think that we should mistrust him. He poses no threat to us how he is now. Barricade's decision to become neutral towards us, while it still may have happened eventually, was greatly influenced by Miles. In fact, I am almost certain that if he had not had Miles' influence then this would most likely never have come to fruition. I doubt that Barricade would have moved against on his own, but we may have actually killed him, or he may eventually have joined back up with other Decepticons. But as it is now Bumblebee has come to have a sort of friendship with him, however odd it may appear to us now. Ironhide, too, has seemed to accept him. I find I am looking forward to what more may happen."
Prowl gave that some thought for a moment, going over what he knew of Miles and Barricade. The two had certainly become a sensation on base, helped by the teen's close friendship with Sam. That meant Sam and Bumblebee were naturally supportive of them and those two were a powerful duo that few would mess with, Bumblebee because of his well liked position among all the mechs even though he had no real important title to speak of and Sam because of his hand in destroying Megatron. And Epps and Will had quickly warmed to the new teen as well, though what they thought of the 'con Prowl didn't pretend to know.
"To sum it up: the humans of this planet are more than meets the optic?" Prowl asked dryly, although an unusual amount of amusement peppered his normally monotone voice.
Optimus chuckled, "That they are. They are similar to us in many ways. Emotions, some motivations. We are much bigger and tend to contain a lot more metal, while they are fragile and have skin that can be broken by paper, but our general frames are the same. A head, two arms, two hands, two legs, things to stand on. We occasionally come with wings, but humans invented that stuff on their own. They have a shockingly short lifespan, but get a lot done in the time given to them. They adapt quickly."
Prowl nodded, though he couldn't help but wonder if the Prime was trying to sell the idea of the organics to him. He knew it was no secret that he didn't much see the point of them outside of a stepping stone, but he was doing his best to become more respectful and understanding towards them. His slip up in Oklahama had been embarrassing for him when he had realized it later, and he'd gotten the cold shoulder from Ironhide and the Captain both ever since. And while he didn't much care about the Captain's ire he did care about what his Cybertronians thought of him.
But, in a way, Optimus did have a point. He had been told of how readily Civilians Mikaela Banes and Samual Witwicky had adjusted to the whole thing. How Sam had stepped up in Mission City and excepted the Allspark cube from an injured Bumblebee; then ran from Megatron with it only to use it to offline the significantly larger being. From what he had heard Civilian Miles Lancaster had, supposedly, barely bat an eyelash when he found out that the Saleen Police Cruiser he had been working on was alive. And the actual databurst he'd been sent from Bumblebee about the teen's reaction and anger to Ironhide beating Barricade up and the subsequent incident where he threw roses in the Weapo Specialists' faceplates had been rather enlightening about how close the organic and 'con were.
He could only deem both Miles and Sam lacking in logic. Humans themselves were dictated too much by emotion for Prowl's taste, but he knew better than to say such a thing. Instead thought about mentioned that it seemed that all the humans that could be accepting of Cybertronians were set apart somehow, but for the life of him he couldn't figure a nice way to refer to it besides what the humans deem insanity and that they would be the insane. He told his Prime as much.
"Ah, yes. Some would call them that. But I think all the 'bots under my care could have a few questionable… thought processes. Myself included, I suppose." Optimus replied, amusement evident in his tone. "The NEST members themselves, even the civilians on this base, I believe would take no offense to being called insane."
"Some of them may even take it as a compliment. Like Civilian Miles Lancaster, Sergeant Robert Epps, and Jazz." He said in agreement, turning his optics to focus back on to his leader.
"They'll get you to call them by their non-formal names, eventually, Prowl. Even Barricade refers to some of them that way. You may as well just give in before you become a target." Optimus said lightly, picking up a data pad to read it's contents.
"It's too late for that, I'm afraid." He stated dryly. "Jazz had them out for me since he was onlined."
"Young Samuel believes that Miles enjoys tormenting Cybertronians with cop car alt modes, for some reason." Optimus replied, trying to hide his amusement now. "Perhaps if you find out why it can be put to a stop. For you, anyway."
"Just give Miles to the rest of the Decepticons and somehow make it so they couldn't kill him or get rid of him." It was a rare moment that Prowl actually smiled and cracked a joke, rarer still around his Prime, but he knew his leader appreciated it when he did. "They'll offline themselves."
Optimus laughed, Prowl returning his attention out of the window. He watched as Sam found a stray stick, from where he wasn't sure, and played fetch with the dog. He took a minute to comm Bumblebee and find out what had happened between Barricade, the dog, and Miles. When the Autobot Scout answered him he let out a snort without meaning to. Glancing back at Optimus he found his leader's questioning gaze on him and decided to answer it.
"I asked Bumblebee and it appears as if the Mastiff, Mason according to Civilian Samuel Witwicky, lubricated inside of Barricade, on his back seat. It is unknown where he has taken Miles or for what purpose." Prowl answered the unasked question.
Optimus vented slightly, the Cybertronian version of a sigh, though whether from annoyance or amusement Prowl couldn't tell. "I believe Samuel would say he is doomed, then."
Prowl could only nod in agreement.
Barricade and Miles returned to base a little over an hour after the 'con had rushed out of it. This made it evident to nearly everyone who hadn't realized it before that Barricade really was more whipped then they could have possibly thought, what with Miles getting out of his interior with such a happy grin, walking over to his dog and Sam without any hesitation or fear in his eyes. Then again, after they considered it was Miles that Barricade had been going up against, no one was too surprised when he came back in one piece. The Cybertronian himself seemed just a little grouchier than normal if the scowl that was permanently etched on the holoform's face was anything to go by.
Most of NEST was outside for the afternoon, Sarah's impromptu cookout a week or so before having been a big enough hit to cause repeats. All of the Autobots out to share in the lunch with the soldiers were in their holoforms, their alt modes never far away from them. Sam was sitting at a table with Will, Epps, Fig, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Jazz, and Prowl; Mason lay at the Captain's feet contentedly. They continued their conversations even as Miles went up to Sam, Barricade just going and sitting at the end of the table.
Miles grinned at Sam, "Back in one piece and mentally stable. I think that's a personal best, considering who I was going against."
"Well, as long as you didn't mention that Mason could have been marking Barricade as his territory and showing his dominance over him, I'm not surprised." Sam stated innocently, a smirk on his features.
The table fell in to a shocked silence at that as they watched Barricade's hands visibly twitch as if wanting to do something with them even in his holoform, the grin disappearing off of Miles' face. Will put a hand on Mason's collar to make sure the Mastiff stayed in one place, Bumblebee keeping a wary eye on Barricade.
"You were either a Decepticon in a past life, or I did something to deserve this." Miles accused softly, "Which is it?"
"Mikaela let slip that the two of you were planning a nice little surprise for me involving Halloween," Sam replied, "And I decided I needed to get my hits in on you while I still can if you've got my girlfriend on your side."
Epps started to laugh at that, "If nothing else, the kid is smart. Might get his friend killed, but smart none the less!"
The rest of the table couldn't help but silently agree with the Sergeant, Miles turning to face Barricade with a brave face.
"I know the potty signs, he wasn't just marking his territory." Miles told the 'con, "If he really wanted to show dominance he'd mount you or hump you."
Ironhide snorted, "That's supposed to make him feel better? I'd be pissed if someone let vermin lubricate inside of me, too!"
"Not helping, Hide!" Will hissed at his Guardian.
Miles glared at Ironhide for a brief moment before returning his attention to Barricade. The table watched on in amusement as the teen just managed to pull off an apologetic yet hurt kind of look, while Barricade went from glowering, to glaring, to straight out growling as he gestured angrily at the wash racks. Miles just nodded, half the table inclined to believe that he'd just sold his soul to the devil while the other half didn't think that the Decepticon Neutral would let it slide that easily. Either way, Barricade seemed to back down first, returning to his usual scowl.
"Squishy organic on the outside," Epps started as he threw an arm around Miles' shoulders, "completely stupid on the inside."
"So what's the big bad havin' ya do, Miles?" Jazz asked, an amused grin on his face.
"A few complete cleanings. Inside, outside. Waxing, untwisting or unkinking any wires that need it." Miles replied, giving Epps the darkest look he could manage. Then Barricade cleared his throat and the teen glanced around the picnic bench almost hesitantly, "Oh, and I kind of promised to make sure he could get off base more, if not with me then with Sam and Bumblebee. One of you should tell boss 'bot that."
Everyone heard Prowl make a clearly audible sound, but none of them could quite figure out what it was. The SIC's holoform stood up from the table in his anger.
"You can not just say it and it is done, Civilian Miles Lancaster!" Prowl snapped, "You do not have the clearance!"
"Well, Ah think he did, Prowler. If ya want to take tha' up with Barry-" Jazz pointedly ignored the snarl that the 'con gave at the use of his nickname. The only one who could call the 'con Barry without getting their heads verbally torn off or snarled at was Miles. "-ya can do so yourself. Ah doubt if Miles asked that Optimus would actually disagree, an' Ah think it would be better for 'im as well."
"Optimus did suggest, however jokingly, that Miles could be the liaison between us and Barricade." Bumblebee cut in, amusement evident in his voice. "Miles replied only under the designation 'Flower Power', but either way that is theoretically letting him pull rank there."
Ironhide snorted once again, "If he had actually been given that rank, then theoretically yes."
"Ironhide is right," Prowl retorted, "Theoretical rankings have no basis here."
"Ask Optimus wha' 'e thinks, then, man." Jazz said, giving Prowl a pointed look that didn't allow the SIC to argue with him.
Prowl stayed silent for a moment as he did just that, sighing heavily and slumping back down into his seat as Optimus responded quite positively to that idea. Everyone took the Tactician's defeated slump as acquiescence, Barricade looking smug.
"Can we know why you wanted us here, Will?" Miles asked, trying to effectively change the subject.
"Invitation to the first annual NEST Halloween party." Will said quickly, more than ready to help the teen get the conversation turned around if it kept Prowl from becoming angry again.
Both Miles and Sam were silent for a moment as they just stared at the Captain, but that was broken by Sam starting to laugh. Miles gave Will a slightly angry, but mostly incredulous, look.
"Seriously?" Miles asked in an exasperated tone, "You put me and Barry through all that just for something you could have invited me to over email?"
Sam put a comforting hand on Miles shoulder, "Don't worry, Bee and me will drive Mason home!"
"You'll tell me before he lubricates in me, right?" Bumblebee asked, sounding slightly disgruntled.
"Course, Bee." Sam laughed, "I know the signs as well as Miles does. Hopefully you'll be smarter than Barricade and actually listen, though."
Bumblebee looked marginally relieved, while Barricade just glared at Sam. The soldiers got up to get in line at a grill to receive their lunch, Sam taking the opportunity to grab Miles and drag him away from the table to a more private location. This had to be rather far away, considering that the Cybertronians had better hearing than the humans.
"So, what's really going to happen to you?" Sam asked, grinning.
Miles groaned, "Ugh, I should have known you'd know me too well. I think it'll be kind of like how you're doing it in preparation of what me 'n Mikky are gonna put you through, but he'll probably play the unpredictable 'con card just to have me on my toes."
"Mind fucking you?" Sam summarized.
"Pretty much," Miles replied dryly, "Make me paranoid with odd behavior but never do anything that could constitute as outright payback for awhile, even though I did tell him to pull the frag over so Mason could use the restroom. But did he listen? No."
Sam laughed, "Damned if you do, damned if you don't with him."