AN: Still not even sorry for cat!Miles
It was rare for Captain William Lennox to ever be able to fully relax on the NEST base. Between paper work, overly annoying and stuffy governmental officials, and just trying to juggle all the Cybertronian's and their different temperaments, he had to find a place to himself where he could relax. He was as close to peaceful as he could ever get out on the firing range with a weapon in his hand; that happened to be why he was already heading out to the range, figuring it was a bit too late for anyone to be out in it.
Most of the base was off scheming or decorating for Halloween—which really meant that the Autobot twins were scheming and or decorating for Halloween—and it gave him just long enough to enjoy whatever small peace he could get from it. With all of the civilians in Tranquility it meant that it would be a pretty quiet night, something he was more than looking forward to.
During his walk to the firing range he couldn't help but look around and think of how he had ended up there, in this odd little place with his brothers and sisters in arms. Perhaps maybe none of them deserved the title of completely sane—they couldn't have lived through what they did or decided to come to NEST if that was the case—but they were brave, war hardened military trained personnel that were only occasionally impulsive and reckless. He had even began to see the civilians, like Maggie, Sam, and them, as his men; they could be just as insane and impulsive as his actual soldiers.
Will thought that they probably had the right to be a bit insane, since they were all dealing with the same giant metallic beings from outer space. Any normal person should've turned in the opposite direction and gone screaming for the hills. But he was happy to see the human NEST members getting so excited over sharing a holiday with the Cybertronians, helped by a few of the Autobots actually showing interest in participating in Earth culture and various holidays. Between the base being constructed and all the governmental mumbo-jumbo loops the Autobots had to have jumped through to get it constructed in the first place they never really got to celebrate their first ones.
It was the new start for them on Earth here; Halloween and the teenagers were leading the way, somehow. Many Halloween supplies had been brought into between the teens, Sam's parents, Epps, and some of the Autobots. From fake blood and make up supplies to streamers and decorations to nearly a garbage truck load of pumpkins. He knew his wife was personally trying to work on a way with Ratchet to safely make some kind of costume that could by Cybertronian sized, one that wouldn't get caught in armor or hinder any subsequent transformations. If Halloween was anything to go by he'd hate to see Thanksgiving come. He'd almost fear a bunch of turkeys running around, but he quickly pushed that thought out of his head. Ironhide would shoot them all before they got even remotely annoying to Will.
Entering the firing range he pushed away his stray thoughts and focused on the two people already inside of it.
"I'm surprised one of you aren't causing any trouble," Will remarked casually as he strolled in and grabbed his fire arm of choice.
Epps and Jazz were the only two inside the shooting range. The Sergeant was just behind the holoform, moving his arm and straightening his back posture. Will could see a shotgun in Jazz's hands, he could only guess at why the Autobot was interested in learning how to use human weapons, though he couldn't think of any reason that was particularly good. The two had set up closer targets for the use of the shotgun, boxes with empty soda cans on them.
"Tha' hurts, William. Righ' near mah spark, it does." Jazz replied, never taking his eyes off the target even as Epps instructed him to change his grip slightly.
"Yes, well I still happen to see you the lesser of two evils." Will told him, turning narrowed eyes on his Sergeant. "The greater one hasn't denied any accusations."
Epps chuckled, "Ironically enough I am contemplating going as Satan."
"And I'm going as a fraggin' banana, big deal." Will replied, "You've been quiet the past two days. What are you up to?"
Epps said nothing, stepping back from Jazz. The Saboteur glanced back at him once to make sure he looked alright, taking Epps' nod as a go ahead. Both the Sergeant and the Captain covered their ears as he fired a shot and hit the first can, pumping it before going again. It didn't take long before all the cans were knocked off the boxes and Jazz was looking satisfied.
"How deep of a recharge does Ironhide go into?" Epps asked, moving out into the range and collecting the now ruined cans and grabbing a few of the boxes while he was at it.
"Why?" Will asked in return. The Captain wasn't willing to relinquish any information until he knew why and decided losing his life over it might be worth it.
"We wan' ta make Hide a Jack-o-lantern." Jazz explained, moving closer and taking the gun Will had grabbed from him. "An' possibly remove the ammunition of his cannons and replace 'em with…"
Here Jazz trailed off, looking to Epps for the right words.
"Pumpkin guts. That way if he shoots it won't hurt that much," Epps clarified, grinning at Will.
Will considered it a moment, weighing the pros and cons in his head separately. After about a minute he told Epps what he wanted to know, as long as he would be getting pictures of it or at least able to help with the cannons. He might not be able to work them even if he had them, but he could still respect a powerful weapon when he saw it. While shoving the inside of pumpkin guts inside of said weapons might not seem like respect, it would get him a closer view while said cannons were inactivated for once.
"So… Why did Samuel, Mrs. Witwicky, and Mikaela go into that..." Bumblebee paused, searching for the word but coming up with a blank. "That whatever it is, again?"
Miles grinned, leaning back in his seat as he looked at the day spa that Sam, Judy, and Mikaela had gone into. It paid to be someone's best friend since elementary school; a lot of dirt ended up collecting over the years and blackmail was such a small price to pay to get what he wanted. It was even better that Mikaela was in on it too, begging Sam to get his legs waxed with her.
He almost wished he had gone in to watch, but the fear that he could have been dragged into it somehow left him sitting safely inside of Bumblebee. He'd been curious once long ago and had an older female friend show him what it felt like. He never planned on it happening again.
"It's called a spa, Bee." He explained, "A place where people go to get… tune ups, I guess. You should really google it, I've never been to one. I just know you can get waxes there, but not the kind you would get. It removes body hair. That's what Sam's getting."
"I still don't think I understand why you are doing this to him. He seems to dislike it." Bumblebee replied.
"Well, he doesn't like it right now. After it's all done in like ten years he'll laugh at it." Miles shrugged, "But this also means he'll be able to get back at me which he's been looking forward to forever."
Bumblebee sat silently for a moment as he thought that over. "Does he have no ground substance on you?"
"It's dirt, Bee." Miles snickered, "And no. Nothing that I wouldn't willingly tell other people. Sam, however, has many things he doesn't want his parents to know."
"Like what?"
Miles glanced at the symbol in the middle of the steering wheel, "Let me amend that statement a bit. Sam has many things he doesn't want his parents, or you, to know."
Bumblebee let out a displeased sound at that, but Miles kept his mouth shut. It was all well and good to threaten Sam with the telling of his secrets, he just never actually intended to betray him in that manner. The Scout knew better than to ask him to spill, too.
"So why does Sam need his legs waxed, and not Mikaela?" The Cybertronian asked, sinking on his wheels a bit.
"It's a sex role thing. Here at least most men don't shave. Some swimmers do, but otherwise not that much. Women are expected to, though." Miles stretched out his legs a bit, "If you ask me it's stupid, but that's the way it is. Waxing is one of the more… painful ways to do it."
There was only static for a moment before Bumblebee found the song he wanted. "Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?"
"Oh, don't you use that against me!" Miles laughed, smacking Bumblebee's steering wheel lightly. "You just sparred with Prowl not even two days ago. Waxing may hurt but I guarantee it hurts a lot less than that."
Bumblebee replied by playing a raspberry on his radio, prompting Miles to laugh more.
"What are Sam's and Mikaela's costumes going to be?" The Scout asked.
"Look up Mr. Taxi by SNSD on youtube, the dance version. The shorts version, not the skirt. I think the first girl who starts it off works fine for that. Just remove any white and black stripes and the outfits are good. Mikaela might have something in her hair, but whatever."
"So they'll be matching…" Bumblebee tried to puzzle it out, but quickly gave up. "What will they be, exactly?"
"Cheerleaders, supporters, mascots. Whichever is more appropriate." Miles replied, grinning. "For you."
He could feel it as Bumblebee laughed, his entire frame shaking slightly. The Autobot stayed silent for awhile, and Miles left him to whatever he may be thinking. He figured he was imagining Sam and Mikaela in those outfits or watching the actual video. Personally, he just couldn't wait to see how Sam would act while wearing an outfit like that.
"Sam told me that you would be wearing a naughty police uniform for Barricade." Bumblebee told him, "Though I think a naughty prisoner uniform would work better for you, and then Barricade could wear the police uniform."
"No, just no. I don't even know what I'm go-" He started to say but was cut off by someone contacting Bumblebee.
Miles figured it must have been a private comm, because the Scout's radio gave nothing but static for a minute before he could enable it so that the teen could hear as well.
"-wl to Bumblebee. New Autobot has arrived, designation currently unknown."
It took a minute for Miles to recognize Prowl's monotone voice, expecting something more to be said, but that was all that came through. He'd either ended it like that or Bumblebee hadn't thought it necessary to share. Bumblebee started his engine, and the seat belt slid around Miles to securely click into place. The Autobot pulled out of the parking space quickly, and raced out of the parking lot.
"I'm just going to assume we're going, then." Miles remarked dryly, adjusting the seat belt around him. "And that I'm coming along."
Bumblebee laughed, "I'll contact Ronald and he'll be there in time to pick them up. This will give you the perfect opportunity to meet one of us right off the bat. By the time the 'bot gets to base they'll probably know English."
"Think we should take videos for blackmail later?" Miles asked.
Bumblebee snorted, tuning his radio to a station he knew Sam and Miles liked. They made the rest of the trip to base in relative silence as Miles texted Sam and Mikaela what was going on, Bumblebee calling Ron. They made some small talk, mainly about who Bumblebee thought the Autobot might be and Miles texted everyone at base that he could human wise, even Maggie, to see, but either they didn't know or it was a surprise. This only prompted Bumblebee to speed up and break a few laws to get there faster. Miles pretended not to notice.
When they got past the gates they were greeted by Prowl. Bumblebee could feel it as Prowl scanned him, knowing that he was likely being checked for how many humans he'd decided to bring along.
"Hello Bumblebee, civilian Samual Witwicky." Prowl said in greeting. He obviously had done a very basic scan on Bumblebee, and had assumed that it was Sam inside.
Miles smirked, rolling down Bee's window. "Sorry, Prowlie, it's your worst nightmare."
"Cybertronians do not dream, civilian Miles Lancaster." Prowl replied, optics narrowing, before sliding away from the teen. "It's Data Courier Blurr, Bumblebee."
"Data Courier? Translate that to stupid English, please?" Miles asked.
Bumblebee laughed, "Basically a messenger, Miles. He's… fast. In everything he does."
Bumblebee did a quick scan of the area and located where Blurr was. He drove there quickly, stopping not too far away from the new to Earth Cybertronian and the Frontliner who was talking to him to let Miles unbuckle and get out. Once the teen did that he transformed.
"Bumblebee, have you scrambled your processor by any chance?" Ratchet asked, glaring at Bumblebee as he came over.
The Scout knew what he was worried about, he just didn't think Ratchet should bother worrying about it. As new as Blurr was he could potentially hurt a human.
"I'm sure it'll be fine. Blurr knows better than to squish anything." Bumblebee replied, waving dismissively at Ratchet. A human gesture that he had picked up, but by now almost all of them had picked up a few.
"He hasn't met any of the humans yet, and you know how excited Blurr can get." Ratchet said.
"Sunstreaker's with them," Bumblebee replied. "Besides, didn't you want to check out my vocalisor?"
Miles made his way to Blurr while Ratchet and Bumblebee disappeared behind a building. The mech was varying shades of blue, but the teen couldn't tell what kind of alt mode he would transform down into. All he could see was that the mech was very slim, seeming to be built for speed.
"Hi, I'm Mi-Woah!" He was startled when Blurr quickly picked him up and moved him closer for examination. "Hey, we do not man handle the squishy! Especially not without consent before hand! Put me down!"
"Amazing-is-it-a-pet?" Blurr asked, directing his question towards Sunstreaker.
"Who are you calling a pet you overgrown scrap heap?" Miles huffed, squirming in Blurr's grip as he tried to free his arms. "Put me down you aft!"
"It-has-adopted-some-of-our-words. Mi-Woah-is-cute." Blurr said, poking gently at Miles' head.
Sunstreaker sighed, sounding almost bored. "His name is Miles, Blurr. He was surprised when you picked him up, and it caused him to exclaim something while cutting off his name. He is a human, and no they are not pets. They are strong beings that even managed to take down a few 'cons."
"These-things-have-taken-down-Decepticons? Impossible!" Blurr exclaimed.
"They have. This one, Miles, befriended Barricade before he became the Decepticon Neutral we were telling you about." The warrior stated, "We'll fill you in more later with the data."
"It-Wait,-I-mean-he,-befriended-Barricade? These-things-are-glitched-in-their-processors-Sunstreaker! And-they're-our-allies?" Blurr asked, clearly confused.
As Sunstreaker tried to explain things to Blurr, Miles quickly found out that even giant alien robots could talk with their hands. And with how fast Blurr talked, he was quickly regretting ever having stepped foot near the 'bot.
He'd heard Ratchet voice his concerns and Bumblebee brush him off. Now he wished that they had stayed to watch him. It seemed that Sunstreaker was set to leave him there; he couldn't help but wonder if it was payback for what he, Ironhide, and Barricade had done to him nearly a month ago. It felt like he was on the worst kind of theme park ride. He was dizzy, felt nauseous, and was pretty sure he had at least a bit of whiplash from the way his neck was burning. He closed his eyes to see if that would help at all.
Miles was thankful when Blurr's hand suddenly stopped in mid swing, but he could feel the 'bot tense, grip tightening, and opened his eyes to see why. He quickly regretted that as his vision decided not to work like it normally should, the world deciding to spin for a moment.
"Let him go, Autobot." He heard Barricade snarl, "These organics are delicate. You could damage him."
He wasn't sure when Barricade had gotten there, but he was beyond thankful to the 'con at that moment.
"And-why-should-I-listen-to-you,-'con?" Blurr retorted, glaring at the Decepticon who had dared to touch him.
"He's right, Blurr." Ratchet's voice broke in, letting Miles know he was saved. "Give Miles to Barricade. Sunstreaker, I think we need to have a talk."
Miles was more than happy when Blurr did so, albeit reluctantly. He was dropped into Barricade's servo; he would have toppled right over if it hadn't been for the 'con pressing a clawed finger gently but firmly against his back to keep him up right.
"Thanks a lot, Barry." Miles said gratefully, leaning against Barricade's finger as his world finally went about righting itself again and he was actually able to open his eyes without feeling like he was about to be sick.
"I waited a bit just to see if you would puke on him," Barricade told him, walking away from the other Cybertronians and towards the rest of the base.
Miles gave a weak snort, "Oh that's wonderful. It's a newcomer, lets hand them a human so they can get organic digestive track liquid all over them! Haha, so funny."
"I thought so."
Miles could practically hear the smirk in Barricade's voice. The teen stayed silent for a moment, enjoying the free ride as he relaxed against the 'con. Base looked a bit different from this high up.
"And have you decided what you're going to be for Halloween?" Miles asked after a moment.
"A police officer." Barricade stated, "You could be my prisoner."
"Fat chance," Miles laughed, "That would make too many people happy. And you're so lame, Barry! Your default holoform has a police uniform on it."
"And what are you going as?" The 'con asked.
"Uhm… I dunno." Miles shrugged, "A bed sheet ghost, probably."
"And you call me lame?" Barricade snorted, walking in to the main hangar where a few mechs were gathered.
"Well, fine, maybe I'll get Wheeljack to help me with my costume!" Miles replied flippantly, "At least then it'll be the coolest one at the party."
"Really?" An excited voice rang out.
Miles looked up to see Wheeljack just over to their side, obviously having heard what he'd said. He could feel it as Barricade chuckled at his misfortune.
"Uh, yeah, Jack..." Miles said hesitantly, the scientist not seeming to pick up on it. "You should totally help me with my costume."
"Excellent!" Wheeljack exclaimed happily, "I'll get to work immediately!"
"My big mouth…" Miles muttered, looking back up at the 'con. "At least if it explodes I won't need any makeup to look like I'm wounded, cuz I really will be."
Miles was annoyed. The sun didn't even look like it was coming up yet, but he had already been woken up by Barricade. He had been sleeping peacefully in his bed with Mason and the next thing he had known his phone—which should have been turned off—was blaring at him until he answered.
It seemed like Wheeljack had finished his costume, then decided that he needed to come in immediately for it. Two in the morning seemed a bit extreme, but he would have had to wake up early for the Halloween party, anyway, so he hadn't minded as much. Especially not since it meant Barricade got to leave base to get him, something that made the 'con that much friendlier and easier to deal with. When they arrived at base Miles got out of Barricade and started walking with the 'con to Wheeljack's lab.
"Did anyone approve it?" Miles asked, slightly worried.
"Prowl." Barricade replied, "He's the one who gave permission for you to slide around the rule for this instance."
Miles felt slightly relieved then, figuring that Prowl would make the right say on things if nothing else.
They arrived at the lab and Barricade left him alone, going off to do his own things. Miles went inside and almost immediately Wheeljack told him to sit off to the side because he was busy. The scientist did offer him some cookies and a glass of milk, which the teen thought a little odd but he took anyway and munched on.
Wheeljack's busy work seemed to be just staring at him, which Miles found a bit unnerving. It was like the scientist was waiting for something, but he couldn't for the life of him fathom what it would be.
"I had a few questions about what your costume could do for you," Wheeljack stated. "I wanted to make sure that some of it's features would be alright for you."
"Uhm..." Miles was surprised that the scientist was actually asking him, "What're the questions?"
"How do you feel about attachments that would move according to your emotions and feel outside stimuli?"
"Well, uh..." The teen knew he was treading a thin line but he couldn't figure out how just yet. "That sounds cool."
"Do you have any idea how these may work?"
Miles thought for a moment, yawning. "I imagine they'd have to be super connected in a case like that if I wasn't working them step by step. Have to receive nerve impulses, though I don't think a human brain is coded to move things outside of what it already has."
"Oh, it can be trained." Wheeljack said cheerfully, making alarm bells go off in Miles' head. "How would you feel about something like that?"
"We're speaking temporary, right?"
"Hmm," The scientist made a thoughtful noise, "I wasn't imagining it, but yes it could be temporary if you would prefer."
"Then I wouldn't mind that as much..." Miles replied cautiously, yawning.
"Tired, Miles?" Wheeljack asked when he yawned.
The teen set his glass of milk to the side as quickly as he could manage, realizing something was a bit off too late to do anything about it. Those alarm bells had turned into a full blown siren by this point.
"Like you mentioned before, any costume that includes being able to have moving attachments that aren't directly affected by you constantly would need to have an invasive procedure beforehand." Wheeljack told him, "So that it remains painless for you I've given you a strong anesthetic I've designed that will knock you out and make sure you don't feel anything."
Realizing he was fucked, the teen just opted to lay himself down instead of passing out under the effects of whatever Wheeljack had given him and hitting the floor instead. It was hard to keep his eyes open enough to give the scientist what he hoped was a very hateful look.
"Oh, and speaking on the removal of your costume..." Wheeljack paused here, his voice suddenly hesitant. "I didn't think to consider that, so it may take awhile. That's alright, isn't it?"
Miles wanted to say it very much wasn't alright. It was much too late, though, and he could say it no longer as he fell asleep instead.
The next time he woke up he realized he was lying on a cool metal table and that everything felt a bit fuzzy. His head hurt a bit, as well as his lower back in one spot and he couldn't think of why. He chalked it down to sleeping wrong and hitting his head off something without noticing.
He sat up, trying to figure out where he was when he couldn't place the large berth. It took him a moment to recognize Wheeljack's lab, changed since the last time it had been destroyed, and with a jolt of nervousness he remembered what had happened. The scientist must have put him up on the berth to make whatever he had been doing to him easier.
Miles looked at the ground and decided it wasn't all that far away, jumping off the table and stumbling a bit but managing to stay upright. He looked around again, searching for the scientist, but his eyes landed on a full length mirror instead. Wheeljack must have left it there for him. He moved towards it, curious to see what exactly the scientist had needed to knock him out for in order to connect it to him.
His jaw dropped when he saw what looked like two cat ears on his head, a cat tail behind him. The fur covering them was the same exact color as his hair; when he reached up to feel an ear he could feel and see it move. He could see the tail moving behind him, and he grabbed it, pinching hard. He could feel the pain from it, but a detached part of him noted that he could feel that it wasn't normal, reminding him of the cat mech that he'd faced what seemed like ages ago now.
When his tail slipped out of his hand of its' own accord he started to panic again. He grabbed it again and tugged a bit harder, hissing in pain before reaching to the base of his spine and feeling where it went into him. The area around it hurt and he turned to look in the mirror and see that it was an angry red. He gave an experimental tug at his extra set of ears and found them firmly attached as well.
Prowl had approved of this? Here he and Jazz had been thinking that there would never be any retribution from the stoic SIC, now he was regretting ever messing with him. He took a deep breath, telling himself that he could easily get Ratchet to at least make Wheeljack suffer terribly.
The teen left the lab, knowing his tail was twitching anxiously but not knowing how to get it to stop. He contemplated hiding it in his pants but knew it would be useless since he had no hat to hide the ears, too. He decided to go to Will's office, knowing that even though the soldier would be unable to help him he could provide a safe haven, and he jogged to get back to the base quickly so he could try and avoid anyone seeing him in his current state.
His phone told him that it was still early, only now nearing six, and he could only pray that the older man was awake. He entered the building through the back entrance to try and avoid anyone he didn't want to see him, sneaking to Will's office as quickly as he could. He knocked as soon as he reached the door.
"Come in," Will's voice called.
Miles sighed gratefully, walking in and stopping in his tracks as he noticed with mild lurch of his stomach that Epps and Jazz were in the room, too.
"Miles…" Jazz greeted, looking over him carefully. "Ya look different. Ah see Wheeljack got at ya."
Almost in unison the Saboteur and the Sergeant moved over to him. Will just stared with wide eyes as Miles watched them nervously, Epps reaching out and grabbing his tail before giving it a painful tug.
"Hey!" Miles hissed, "That's attached, you know!"
Epps started to laugh, "Oh, Primus, this is great! We need to get you a better outfit, though. Maybe a collar with a bell and a leash!
Miles started to back away towards Will, never noticing the grin on Will's face as he moved beside him.
"Will, you have to stop the-Hey!" Miles cried out as Will shoved him towards Jazz, "You traitor!"
"Sorry, mah man. Looks like ya higher ups are goin' against ya." Jazz said, though he didn't sound apologetic at all as he picked Miles up with one arm underneath his knees and the other behind his back.
Jazz carried Miles out of Will's office with Epps following behind. Both ignored the fuss that Miles was making, Jazz not being hurt no matter how much Miles kicked and punched at him, though he was severely amused when the teen actually got desperate enough to bite at him.
"Let me go! This is kidnapping! Help! Someone help!" Miles cried, hitting at Jazz's chest. He knew he couldn't actually hurt the 'bot, but he was hitting his hardest just in case. "Barry, they're gonna torture me! Ratchet! Anybody!"
But no one answered, leaving him at their mercy for whatever they planned to do to him. It was then that Miles decided that a lot of people were going to pay for this. Prowl for letting Wheeljack do it, Wheeljack for doing it in the first place, Will for sacrificing him, Barricade for waking him up, and Jazz and Epps for being Jazz and Epps.