Twelve Red Lines

by Vikingr

I expected to die when I went into the water. Instead, I was rescued by a crew of people who I knew only as characters in a story. But what does it take to become worthy of being a Straw Hat? And why are so many little details not matching up to what I know?

19. Epiphany

Epiphany: a sudden revolutionary experience, or a work in which such an experience occurs

gamelover41592: ^_^ Thank you.

The Patient One: Thank you, mein Schatz. And thank you for your help with some difficult aspects of this chapter.

Krazyfanfiction1: Thank you very much.

Xipholynx: *smiles* Thank you. I'm glad my writing makes you smile.

Gerbilfriend: Yes, Crossing the Rainbow Mists fits between Montage and Epiphany. And I hope my plans live up to your expectations.

Taiski: *shrugs* Calculated risk. Sorry if it bothers people.

GingerFury: Oh yes, Jones will be bringing more modern inventions to the One Piece worls, with a little help from her gadget-savvy crew matesd

Lightsbane1905: I'm not planning to do all the movies, but I am doing a fair few, and Omatsuri is one of them. But it might not be as bad as you think— remember, that's one of the movies Jones does know, and in this fic, it would pit a biologist against a plant.

The Keeper of Worlds: ^_^ Thank you.

Dragondancer81: Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it.

TheCopyUniverse: Heh. Thanks. Yeah, forces aren't just for fighting. Playing with Jones' powers is lots of fun.

Azurai Wolf: Indeed, we might just see that someday.

Bombadilo Baby: Yeah... We'll see if the message sunk in. It's started, at least.

GreenDrkness: Of course he is. He knows what it's like to be her— and has suddenly been put in Shanks' shoes. ^_^ Thank you.

Draco Oblivion: ^_^ Thank you very much. And yes, I meant for the power of love to appear as a great motivator for Haki. Not that Luffy will be able to use it in battle just yet! As far as he knows, it's something he can only do to those he loves. For now.

xanothos: Thank you very much.

Partsu: Go right ahead.

Bounty Hunters: It does, doesn't it? I'm glad I thought of that gag.

Guest (July 5): Aw... I'm sorry I made you cry. And you don't need to apologize for your English; it was fine.

Maximusace9: No, actually, she couldn't. He has more focused powers, and quality beats quantity. But I agree, in general, Jones' fruit has the potential to be ridiculously OP.

WaterStar45: *shrugs* From what I saw in canon, Miss Goldenweek was young, lazy, and focused on her tea and artwork, becoming petulant if separated from either. And while I agree that it seems she could've achieved such a high rank with low combat abilities, in my experience, people who act like her don't tend to fight well, even when they're consistently in situations where they should learn. And the 3 pair was more focused on strategy and trickery. Heheheh... Yeah, Jones really needed to hear what Luffy said. I wanted to have a scene like that earlier, but... it wasn't time yet. Now it is. Jones was finally ready to hear that someone accepted her, that she had a home.

Demon Shadow5000: Yes and no. I won't be abandoning any (okay, many) canon islands, but I fully intend to handle most of them in different ways. Some will work out better for the Straw Hats than others. As for romance... I'll just say I have plans relating to romance in this fic and leave it at that for now. Character progression... Yeah, that's trickier. I usually tend to let characters evolve on their own as I write, so it could take a while to see significant changes. And on the other end of the spectrum, we have major change events like Hockey!Chopper, and a tentative plan I'm working on to force Zoro into a hard decision between duty and honour. Yes, Jones will have a bounty; her epithet's already been chosen though. And thank you for those recommendations; I'll be sure to check them out when I have time.

FairyGirl960: You need wait no longer.

Twilight0Wanderer: Ah... *rubs back of head sheepishly* Yes it was. Oops... Even between me and Blue, we don't always catch everything. And yes, that's certainly a talk Jones will have to have with the crew sooner rather than later.

Bardic Knowledge: Heh. Yes, that technique would work pretty well. And thank you. ^_^ Nope, not a Westerner; Ontario.

The resident cat: Thank you very much. And yes, I do have fanart. Two, actually. One by Gerbilfriend, of Jones shortly after being pulled aboard the Going Merry, and one by Bluejay Blaze, of an anachronistic Jones and Ruatha pairing. Both can be found on Deviantart.

A dark blue shadow held my hand as it led me through the hedgerows. It towered over me, with no face or features to be seen… And yet I wasn't afraid. Something about the shadow felt safe and warm, happy. Wherever it was taking me, it didn't want to hurt me. I got the feeling that it was trying to show me something, something important. But no matter how far I walked, we never seemed to get anywhere important.

…Beep…

The first sign of Alabasta was a thin gold band on the horizon, sand and pale cliffs barely visible between shades of blue. I blinked blearily at it as I emerged from the hold; the rising sun made the golden glow all the brighter. Ruatha trilled from my shoulder. "Malbrii! Malbrii!"

"And good morning to you too." Ghin came up beside me and patted my dragon. A wry smirk crossed his face. "So, Jones, looking forward to another day of hardtack and jerky?"

I made a face. Three days. It had been three days since we'd run out of other food, reduced to stereotypical ship's fare. If we'd taken much longer to get to Alabasta, things could've been… worrisome. Although it's possible that Chopper had something to stave off scurvy, at least in the short term, since he'd been forcing everyone to drink a weird tea every night. I couldn't identify any of the components by taste… It was bitter, and a little spicy though. Lisa flat-out refused to drink it until I threatened to make her spar with me and Ghin if she didn't.

Chopper still wasn't happy about that, but with what had happened the day after I got my cast off… Yeah, I figured it was fine.

"No thanks. Can't we get there any faster? I want real food." Even my secret stash of apples had run out, although at least now I had a decently sized collection of the seeds. Now I just needed a mortar and pestle…

"Sorry Jones." Ghin shook his head. "Merry's already going as fast as she can, and from the looks of things we'll be getting there this afternoon anyways. One or two more meals won't kill you."

"Says you." No, that one wasn't me. That was Luffy as he flopped on the rail beside us. The lack of good food was making him grumpy. Ghin shook his head.

"Patience, Captain."

Sanji served breakfast out on deck, so everyone could look up at the approaching land with hope. The cook didn't say much, hadn't for days, but at least now there was a small smile in place of the apologetic frown of yesterday. Even if no one was starving, he was no happier about the food situation than Luffy was. Artist's pride or something, maybe.

As soon as he was done eating, Mr Thirteen held up a sign. You can get the rest of the way on your own, right? Now that you can see it.

Nami nodded. "Yeah… Thanks for all your help."

It was nothing. As I said, I like your Jones. The otter hopped on the vulture's back. We'll be going now then. The boss will be pissed enough as-is that we took so long.

Miss Friday screeched as she opened her wings, one mighty limb buffeting Johnny. The blue hunter squawked and rolled sideways into Yosaku; I swear Miss Friday snickered. Or maybe that we her way of letting Johnny know he was lucky she didn't eat him. Hard to say. She certainly looked as smug as any bird I've ever met. For a few brief moments wind whipped across the deck as the Unluckies rose into the air, until those mighty wings were too high to bother us anymore. Those of us with hats had to hold onto them for a few minutes to keep them from flying away.

I watched the Unluckies until they were barely specks against the sky. Oh, what I would give to be able to fly like that… It was bound to happen someday, but I had no idea how long Ruatha would take to get big enough. That, and no idea how to teach him to fly when I couldn't myself. I was a terrible dragon mother… No. I couldn't let myself think that. There would be a way; all I had to do was find it.

A few minutes later, someone's stomach growled. It could've been anyone's; I wasn't really paying attention. Sanji looked around those still assembled with a sigh. "Sorry guys, there's nothing left. It's a good thing we'll make land today; breakfast was the last of our supplies."

"Aww…" Usopp groaned quietly, but knew better than to add any words, lest his head have an unfortunate encounter with a steel-toed shoe. As it was, Nami heard him even if Sanji didn't.

"Oh please. If you're that hungry, just go fishing. There has to be something in the water around here, even if mainland Alabasta's undergoing a drought." Nami glanced at her log pose and shook her head. The thing had been twitching side to side since we'd left Drum Island- and probably before; I couldn't know, having been unconscious- as if it were picking up more islands just over the horizon. It should set properly after a few days in Alabasta though.

Usopp took the sailing master's words to heart, pulling out a couple of fishing rods and parking himself on one of the rails. "Hey Luffy! Come help me! Let's catch something big for lunch!"

"Yeah!" The captain bounced happily and jumped up on the rail beside the gunner, grabbing a fishing rod before settling down. He was just about to cast it when he froze. "Wait… Usopp, you dummy! We don't have any bait! Even I know we need bait to fish!"

"But you're the one who ate all the bait! Yesterday!" Usopp's whining drew Nami's attention. She sighed and snapped her staff together.

"How do you expect to catch anything if you can't be quiet?!" Crack! Wood met bone and rubber with a resounding noise. Luffy toppled over the rail, prompting Zoro to jump in after him. Usopp, meanwhile, collapsed to the deck with a groan.

"Hey! Don't beat me up- I just finished this! But maybe I don't feel like giving it to you anymore, if you're gonna be so mean." Usopp pulled three blue rods from his bag and snapped them together into a familiar staff. The Clima-Tact, first prototype. Nami froze and stared at it.

"That's… for me?"

"Well, you did ask me to make you a weapon," Usopp shrugged, "Something that meant you could do stuff other than just support. But if you don't want it, I can always give it to someone else. Staff work can't be that hard to learn, and the other functions have an instruction manual."

Freezing, Nami eyed the weapon. "That's…?"

"Yep."

"I take back every time I've hit you over the head, Usopp. You're brilliant." Nami dropped her staff and hugged Usopp, stunning the poor sniper. Then she grabbed the Clima-Tact and began spinning it around. Sparks flew around the ends; the air heated up. "And you said there's an instruction manual?"

"Yeah. You should probably read it before using it in a fight. Or hitting anyone with it." Usopp handed Nami a notebook before flinching away, cautious of being hit. And if the sparks had anything to do with that Leyden bottle he'd been playing with a while ago, I didn't blame him.

Nami flipped through the manual with preternatural speed- I wasn't sure how she could absorb anything going that quickly, but she seemed to. Or at least, if the cool breeze that surrounded her in a brief spiral was anything to go by. Smiling, the sailing master shifted her grip on the staff, causing a small cloud to emerge from the end. It dissipated quickly. Nami's smile grew even broader. "Hey, Jones, you're all about training, right? Can I test something on you?"

"Okay." This was probably a bad idea, but my traitor mouth had yet to learn to say no to a friendly spar. And against Nami I might actually have a fighting chance. Or at least, so I thought until…

ZAP!

My whole body went stiff as a jolt of electricity ran through me. I fell back onto the deck, my hair smoking. "Oww…" It took me a minute to be able to move again. When I could, I sat up and glared at Nami. "What was that for?"

"I had to test function seven."

"On me?" Oh, that was gonna leave a mark. Although the small red spot made by the lightning bolt blended in so well with all the other scarring on my hands that no one would ever notice.

"Well, you or Luffy, but he's not available." Nami gestured at the rail, just in time for Zoro to come up, pulling Luffy with him. The bosun scowled. Yosaku brought him a couple towels, so Zoro could start drying himself and the captain off.

Folding my arms, I imitated Zoro's expression. "Why? Luffy, I get- rubber's an insulator. You wouldn't be able to hurt him with a little bit of lightning. But me?"

Nami shrugged. "Lightning is the most powerful form of static electricity; electricity is a force applied at a distance, like magnetism or gravity. I figured it would hurt you less than most people."

Well, I couldn't say for sure whether that was true or not. It definitely still hurt though, and it still made my muscles seize up the way it would for anyone else. Rubbing the fresh burn on the back of my hand, I turned away, unable to respond. Nami giggled. Had I been back with the people I grew up with, that would've made me angry, would've hurt. But here… here, somehow it made me smile.

Ruatha chirped and licked my hand. "Aavrosii…" The dragon spit clung to my skin, thick and sticky. But it felt nice on the burn.

Luffy pouted as Zoro finally stopped scrubbing him with the towel. "Nami's new stick is cool and all, but we still need bait."

"What for? We'll be at Alabasta soon enough; missing one meal won't kill us." Ghin climbed up into the rigging to check on something. Sanji nodded in agreement with the rigger's words. A click of a lighter; smoke rings puffed into the air from the cook's cigarette. He had a bit of a sour look on his face; this whole thing with being short on supplies was hard on him, even if we were in no real danger from it.

"But I'm hungry," Luffy whined. He was met with mixed responses- Usopp, Chopper, and Lisa agreed with him, while the rest of the crew alternately snickered or rolled their eyes. Even Jack and Mairead laughed quietly. Vivi smiled and rolled her eyes, leaning back against Carue as the duck preened. Her quiet, hiccoughing laughter drew Luffy's attention. At first no one knew what the captain was thinking as a sly smile crossed his face; then Carue slowly went pale, feathers drooping.

"Quaaaack…" Rising to his feet, the duck backed away. He wasn't fast enough- Luffy flung himself on Carue in a flying tackle. Vivi squeaked in surprise as her duck was assaulted.

"Carue!"

"Jones! I need some of your tape!" Even with his rubbery limbs and great strength, Luffy was having a hard time containing the squirming poultry. I shook my head, laughing too hard to do anything.

"Sesehihihihihi!" I collapsed against the rails under the force of my own laughter, my recently-electrocuted muscles deciding to go limp. Johnny shot me an odd look.

"Is it just me, or has Big Sis been a lot more… happy since she almost got eaten?"

Yosaku shrugged. "Maybe the T-Rex knocked a few screws loose?"

Lisa looked at both hunters in wide-eyed confusion. "Loose? I don't know if the screws are there. But… You mean she wasn't always like this? Cause the only times I've seen her that she wasn't, she was under the influence of my paints. Although… That was also the first time I saw her."

The hunters glanced down at the painter in amazement. "Wait- do you think your paints did this to Big Sis?"

"No!" Lisa squeaked and scrambled to put me between herself and the shell-shocked men. I shook my head and awkwardly rested my hand on her shoulder.

"She didn't do anything," I told Johnny and Yosaku, poking them in the foreheads to snap them out of their daze. "Just… Learned a few things as we've been travelling is all."

In the end, Luffy didn't manage to hold Carue and use the duck as bait. Which was probably a good thing; I don't know that I could've salvaged our alliance with Alabasta if my captain had gotten the leader of the Supersonic Duck Squadron eaten by fish. Disappointed, Luffy peered about for another option. Until…

"Hey!" I yelped and clapped my hand over the back of my neck, but I was too late. Rubber fingers untied my bandanna and snatched it away in a matter of seconds. "Give that back!" My neck felt bare, naked, vulnerable.

"Nope!" Luffy tied a corner of the red cloth around his fishing hook and cast his line. I froze halfway to the rails, unable to get there in time to stop my captain.

"You- I- Eeeeeh…" I wrapped a hand around my throat. Everyone stared at me.

"You alright Jones?" Zoro asked with a frown. I spun around and slammed a force-charged punch into his gut. The bosun grunted, but stood his ground.

"I'm fucking fine." Even though I felt like I had eyes boring into the back of my neck, and like a knife might run across my ceratoid artery at any minute. That accessory was practical, dammit! It protected things, no matter what my mother said, and it helped keep me calm.

Deep breaths. Bandanna or no, I was in no danger here. I knew these people; none of them was likely to try and slit my throat. The brief thrill of fear was soon under control, although I still wasn't happy with Luffy's choice of bait. I considered shoving him overboard in retaliation. That would only have made Zoro angry with me though.

Wait- why was I worried about Zoro being angry at me? Even if he was, he wouldn't hurt me; or at least, nothing permanent. Unfreezing, I stomped over to the rail and raised my foot. "Newton's Second!"

"Waaaaaaaaah!" Luffy flailed wildly as my force-charged kick sent him tumbling over the side. I snatched the fishing rod before it could fall in with him, reeling my bandanna in. Zoro growled and rushed past me, diving in after Luffy for the second time in half an hour.

Something heavy was on the end of the line. Had my bandanna actually caught a fish? Well, at least it was red; blood and things weren't likely to stain it. I hauled- and hauled even harder as I realized how big the thing Luffy had hooked was. It had to weigh at least as much as I did, if not more. Gritting my teeth, I heaved as hard as I could, my back and arms burning. For a moment, nothing happened. Then there was a slurping, sucking splash from down below as something was pulled clear of the water. That lessened the resistance I had to pull against. Pink and blue flew over my head as I stumbled back.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The pink and blue thing crashed down on top of Jack with a shrieking yell. Mairead snickered.

"Ack!" I fell back on my ass as I overbalanced, the fishing rod flying clear of my hand. Zoro, just coming over the rails with Luffy in tow again, snorted at me.

"You deserved that."

Yeah. I probably did. Groaning, I rolled to my feet, rubbing my tailbone on reflex, even though it didn't hurt. Across the deck from me, a ballerina leapt to his feet and offered Jack his hand.

"So sorry dear boy! I didn't see you there- not that I could've done anything if I had. Can't say I would've rather been left in the water though- Devil Fruit user, you know. Can't swim and all that. Thank you for pulling me out."

Bentham. Mr Two. Bon Kurei. The okama straightened, pulling Jack to his feet, and began fiddling with his overcoat. Once the pink monstrosity was straight and he'd assured himself of its cleanliness, the okama took a long look around… Before jumping up with a small shriek. "Ah! Mr Nine! Miss Monday! Mr Three said you were killed by pirates! How dare you let me believe you were dead? Naughty, naughty, naughty!"

Mr Two moved as if to slap Jack, like a jilted heroine in a two-bit B-movie. Only, with his powers… Yeah, there was more to it than that. What exactly Bentham knew or suspected, I had no idea, but just in case… I bolted over and grabbed the okama's hand before he could make contact with Jack's face. He froze and stared at me, muscles going stiff beneath my fingers.

"What?"

Future ally or not, I couldn't let him threaten the crew. My voice came out a rattling growl when I addressed Mr Two. "Don't you dare."

"Don't I dare what?" Bentham batted his eyelashes, falsely innocent. Gods above and below, he wore so much mascara… I was surprised none of it flaked off as he moved. It felt like I should've been covered in black snow.

"Playing dumb won't work on me." I gripped Mr Two's wrist more tightly and pulled him away from Jack. "I know your powers- how they work, what they do. And mark my words, if you steal any of my friends' faces, Ivankov will never welcome you to Kamabakka Kingdom."

"What?" Bentham's eyes went wide and pale as he tried to figure out what I was talking about. "But how-?"

"I have one of xyr coworkers on speed-dial." I released his wrist; Mr Two didn't move. "Or were you asking why xe wouldn't welcome you? Because I'm pretty sure Iva-chan won't be happy if you hurt xyr best-friend-slash-boss' son and his friends."

Mr Two shrank in on himself as he looked around, not comprehending what I was talking about. Everyone else looked equally confused. The okama, caught off guard, questioned me in a small voice. "Actually… I was going to ask how you knew about my powers and such."

Lisa smiled and grabbed my hand, giggling. To me it seemed mildly endearing, but from the look on Bentham's face, he was seeing one of the creepy ghost kids from a Steven King special. "Jones is a witch!" The little girl bounced on her toes, grinning broadly. I patted her head.

"Well, there you are Bentham." No point in not using his real name, since I was going full out this time. "I know your powers, your dreams, your fate… Which means I can tell you for sure that if you continue on this path, you'll end up seeing six and a half layers of Hell."

"Six and a half layers?" Usopp cocked his head to the side, puzzled. I waved him off.

"Don't question it." Although, since layer five and a half was Newkama Land- a paradise in the midst of Hell- should I be adding a half or deducting it? Now I was confused too.

Pale and confused, it took several minutes for Bentham to say anything. I could nearly see the gears turning in his head. And when he finally started speaking again, his look of confusion morphing into a small smile, I was the one thrown off guard. Largely because of the sudden invasion of personal space as the okama reached out and grabbed my chin, tilting my face up so he could get a good look at my face. "Are you a boy or a girl?"

"Yes." I did my best not to show how badly I was thrown off, forcing a smirk onto my face as I tried to pull away. Bentham's fingers were stronger than they looked though; I couldn't escape. And with him so close to my face, I could barely thing clearly. I just wanted out, out, out.

For some reason, the only truly coherent thought I had for several minutes was that I was still missing my bandanna.

"Oh, you poor dear. All those scars… Those unfortunate eyebrows… And your glasses- have you ever tried getting contacts? The rest of you isn't much to look at, but your eyes… It's such a pity to hide eyes like that behind those thick lenses. And perhaps, if we could cover up most of those scars… Yes, you might not be too bad." Raising his other hand, Bentham ran it through my hair. "Ooh, and you have natural highlights! I know people back home who'd kill for those!"

"Let…" It took a minute, but I finally found my brain to be able to respond. "Let me go!" I finally managed to pull away, diving across the deck to retrieve my bandanna and tie it back around my neck. Ah, that was better. Then my whole body went stiff with shock. Spinning in place, I pointed an accusing finger at Mr Two.

"Oi! You stole my face!"

"Gaaaaaahhahahahaha!" Bentham winked and blew a kiss at me; I stepped out of the way, just in case. "Oh, aren't you a clever dear? But not clever enough, otherwise you wouldn't have let me touch you in the first place."

Growling, I debated whether I should pull out my sais or not. This conversation wasn't going the way I wanted it to. But… This was still an ally. I should try to avoid fighting him. "I told you, if you stole any of my friends' faces, you'd be on your way to six and a half layers of Hell."

"But you didn't include your face, now did you?" Smug… I wanted to slap the smirk right off Mr Two's face. But I mustn't attack allies… I mustn't attack allies. Ruatha crooned and rested his chin on my head as I fumed.

A warm hand came to rest on my shoulder- Ghin. His fingers dug into my clavicle. "Jones… What're you two talking about? Stealing faces? Your face is still there."

"Oh, that's not what she means, darling." Bentham waved a hand. "Here; I'll show you, as thanks for pulling me out of the ocean."

Twirling in place, the okama changed with a small pop. Instead of short, black hair, his face was suddenly surrounded by swirling blonde. Bentham was suddenly much shorter, his makeup gone, black eyes replaced by a familiar brown-flecked grey. And the scars matched perfectly, like looking in a mirror. What Mr Two didn't have, due to being unable to mimic clothing and accessories, was my glasses- although from his sudden flailing, he certainly had my vision.

"Oh my! No wonder you have such horridly thick glasses." Bentham paused, staring blankly into the distance. And I knew that's what he was doing, rather than trying to focus on anyone's face- there was no way he could've focused on anyone, at that distance. One hand crept down between his legs, while the other rose to his chest. "Oh- you're a girl. Physically, at least."

"Gah! You-!" Okay, that's it. To Hell with the whole "not attacking allies" thing. This meant war! I lunged for Mr Two, my snarl twisting my scars tight. I didn't even know what I was going to do to him- just that he'd taken things a step too far and he was going to pay.

With my lack of planning, it was probably a good thing that Ghin held me back and kept me from doing something I'd regret. One arm wrapped around my waist, while the other clamped over my mouth.

I still got my satisfaction though. Or rather, Nami did it for me, bringing the Clima-Tact down on Bentham's head. The new weapon sparked as it made impact; Mr Two slammed face-first into the deck, losing control over his transformation as he did so. "Ow!"

"Don't grope people in public! Pervert!"

"Ergh…" Mr Two rolled over, smoking. "You save me, then electrocute me… What kind of people do that?"

"The kind who you turn into and then grope!" Nami snapped the words that I couldn't get out. Thank you, thank you, most lovely of navigators. "Seriously, on seven out of ten islands that would count as sexual harassment."

Why did Nami know so much about inter-island la- oh. Probably so she could take advantage of any clauses and loopholes that would allow her to sue people or con them out of their money.

"Ah… I see your point." Bentham sat up slowly. "My apologies- where I come from, such things aren't uncommon. I suppose I'm from one of the three out of ten."

Nami didn't look ready to forgive him- and to be honest, I wasn't either. I mean, who would've been? Although having been held in place for a minute, my ability to think rationally was returning. I was no longer about to jump on Mr Two and… still don't know what I would've done to him, honestly. Ghin seemed to sense this, as he released his hold on me… and marched over to punch Bentham back into the deck.

"Yow!"

"That's better," my honorary big brother said with a smirk. The okama stood again, rubbing his head.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Does anyone else want to hit me?" Bentham pouted. One by one, my crew mates shook their heads. Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Yosaku… The negative response went on until it was Lisa's turn. Considering quietly, the little girl directed a dangerous smile at her former superior. Then she pulled out her paintbrush and splashed Mr Two with bright streaks.

"Calming Green! Truthful Turquoise!"

Vivi raised her eyebrows at Lisa's choice of colours. "Truthful-? Do we need to question him?"

I glanced at the princess and shook my head. Gods above and below, she was worse than me, and that takes effort. "Really Vivi? Flamboyantly dressed okama with the power to copy faces? Doesn't ring a bell? Those swans on his shoulders even look like the number two."

"Oh- oh!" The princess smacked her hand to her forehead. "I can't believe I missed that. Thank you, Lisa, Jones." Oh wow, genuine positivity towards not just me, but Lisa too. Vivi was making great progress.

Johnny and Yosaku looked at each other, at loss. "Um… What?"

Sanji kicked them both in the head with a huff. The cook lit a fresh cigarette. "Idiots… Didn't you hear what Jones said about the swans looking like the number two? When the guys in the organization we're here to fight sometimes have numbers for names?"

"Oh…" The hunters stared up at the cook with dawning comprehension.

Zoro drew Wado Ichimonji and flicked the blade towards Mr Two. "So… Do we question him, or just take him out early?"

"Did you not hear which paints I used?" Lisa planted her hands on her hips and glared up at the bosun. "Truthful Turquoise- there's a couple things we should ask him. Like whether Mr Three's reported in yet."

"He hasn't," Bentham supplied helpfully, a dazed smile on his face.

Sanji nodded. "And that phone call Jones and I overheard mentioned some sort of shitty device or plan only Three could pull off. Any idea what that is?"

"Nope, not a clue." The okama made a face. "Mr Three and I aren't exactly close, and I don't pay much attention to his schemes. They're so ugly… I don't know how he can call such stiff, immobile things art. Art is dance, is music- the things that bring people together and make them a part of the beauty." He looked like he was poised to go on, but a glare from Zoro shut him up.

Usopp, leaning on a rail, suddenly jumped to his feet. "Ah! Ship to port, coming in fast! Swan-shaped!"

Tabarnak. We were almost out of time, and we hadn't really befriended Bentham yet. But… This intelligence could be important. I turned to the okama quickly, needing the answer to one last question. "What about the Five Pair? Have they reported in? Where are they?" Okay, make that two questions.

"Yes, they reported that Whiskey Peak was devoid of frontier agents, with the local billions crippled- practically wiped out. They're currently on standby in Alubarna, preparing for the great battle once our preparations with the rebellion are complete." If Lisa hadn't hit him with Calming Green before Truthful Turquoise, Bentham probably would've been horrified with his inexplicably loose lips- I would've been, in his situation. As it was, I don't think he could feel anything through the green splashed across his face.

Vivi's eyes went wide at the mention of the rebellion; the princess rushed forwards and grabbed Mr Two by the lapels of his coat. "The rebellion? You have plans with the rebellion?"

"Not me personally, but Mr Zero orchestrated the whole thing."

Releasing her grip, Vivi took a couple staggering steps back. She stumbled into Carue, leaning on the duck's flank for support. "I- Jones, I thought you said they'd only infiltrated the rebellion and guards."

I shook my head. "I said they'd done that, not that infiltrating was the only thing they'd done. Sorry Vivi… I know a lot, but I can't know everything." Although, now that I thought about it, the idea of Crocodile orchestrating the rebellion in the first place sounded familiar. I knew he was behind the stuff with the dance powder, but was there more? Eh, either way, kicking his ass and the asses of the officer agents would put a stop to things.

The swan boat was almost upon us; I could see Mr Two's backup dancers rushing about like mad to bring it alongside the Merry. Okay, desperate times called for desperate measures. We needed the okama as an ally if not a friend… "Bentham, we're here to save Alabasta. I know you're only in it to try and find Ivankov… I know where xe is. Your men are here for you now, but if you ever want me to tell you… Come find us. If you come in peace, I'll help you find xem."

Bentham shot me a confused look. He was interrupted before he could say anything though, as the enthusiastic cries of his backup dancers washed over us. The colourfully dressed men above cried tears of joy when they saw their commanding officer was alright. "Ah! Mr Two! We were so worried- when you went in the water, we thought you were done for!"

Wow. They spoke in sync even better than Johnny and Yosaku. Had they been choreographing on their way towards us?

"Thank you, dears! You're lovely!" A smile growing across his face, Mr Two stepped up on the rail of the Merry and blew his backup dancers a kiss as their ship drew alongside. "You needn't worry though; these lovely folks pulled me out."

The okama twirled in place and leapt from one ship to the other; his backup dancers cheered, tears in their eyes. "Thank you! Thank you for saving our beloved captain!"

"You're… welcome?" Everyone on the crew looked a little confused, Nami speaking for all of us. I probably had a different reason than the rest- while I'm sure everyone else was confused by the sheer WTF of encountering a whole crew of crossdressing ballerinas, I was puzzled by the fact that Mr Two was even here if Mr Three hadn't reported in yet, or been declared missing. Hadn't he been encountered while he was on his way to or from retrieving Galdino?

Eh, it didn't matter. He could've been fishing or something; whatever it was, it didn't change what I said, or what my crew would have to do. Unless Bentham changed his actions later down the line, but that was Sanji's problem. Probably.

Bentham turned to look back us as the ballerina ship began to pull away. "I do owe you, you know- Devil Fruit and all that, can't swim. I won't forget that. And you, Highlights, what you said… I have my reservations about you, but if you're telling the truth… I would very much like the help you offered. For now… toodles!" The okama waved, a delicate motion of is fingers accompanied by a toothy smile.

Soon afterwards, the swan boat pulled well away from us, propelled by its large, flower-patterned paddlewheels. Everyone on the Going Merry watched it go, blinking slowly, not saying a word. Until…

Thwack!

"Ow!" I rubbed the back of my head. At least Nami hadn't used the electrical function again. "What was that for?"

"They had power! And they're heading back towards land! Would it have killed you to ask them to give us a tow?" The sailing master shook her head, spinning the Clima-Tact around like she was debating hitting me with it again. Then she sighed and stopped, tapping her weapon against the deck.

"Sorry! In my defense, I'm not sure where they are on a scale of ally to enemy- probably somewhere around neutral. And hitting me won't make me any less likely to forget things!" Not that I'd been thinking about that in reference to the paddlewheels of all things, but still.

Nami blinked, then shook her head with a wry smile. "I suppose you're right. But you should really try harder when it comes to these things."

Clap. Clap. Clap. Luffy applauded slowly, his mouth hanging open in awe. "You- you got Nami to stop hitting you? Cool!"

The sailing master snorted. "I doubt it'll last."

"And I've already gained you hitting me, so I don't see how Nami standing down helps," I muttered. That made Luffy pout at me.

"I'm not gonna do that a lot! Only when Jones does stupid things!"

Opening my mouth, then closing it, I sighed and slumped. Now was not the time to go down that rabbit hole. Besides, I doubted I'd ever win an argument with Luffy about something like this. Vivi cornered me when I went to wander off, her eyebrow raised.

"So… How exactly to you get to say anything about me forgetting who Mr Two was when you don't think of everything either?" Vivi's mouth quirked down in sort of a reverse-smirk. I don't know what to call the expression. Her voice wasn't accusing though, just unamused. "From that discussion, it hardly seems this was the first time."

"It's not." I flinched. "I don't forget often, but every once in a while, I have a… moment. Ketchup moments, I call them, after something I did when I was younger."

"I see." Vivi shook her head and left me alone, going up to the poop deck. Carue went with her; the princess began preening her duck with her fingers, humming softly as she did.

With a few hours at least until we made landfall, I was a little bit at loss. I considered fishing, but we'd be getting to town and splitting off later; as much as I was eager for something other than hardtack and jerky, I could wait a little. Besides, I'd never managed to catch a fish in my life. Weeds, the dock, the back of the boat, Bentham… Pretty much anything but fish I could catch, but food? Never. I don't know why. So instead of fishing, I sat down, leaning against the mast and pulling out one of my books.

Not that I got to read for very long. A shadow fell across me, the sound of a low cough drawing my attention upwards. When I looked up, Zoro's dark gaze met mine. The bosun folded his arms. He had a small smile on his face. I raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

"Ah, just thinking. You know, when you first came aboard and told us your talent was with word fights, I thought you'd be more or less dead weight. But talking to people actually has its uses, doesn't it?" Zoro snorted with amusement. "Not that it always seems to go the way you expect."

I shrugged. "As Luffy would probably say, it'd be boring if I knew how everything would work out. And I can't say I mind the fighting stuff when talking won't work." My crazed grin split my face. Zoro laughed.

"Yeah…" The swordsman reached out and patted my shoulder. I fought the urge to flinch away. This was Zoro; Zoro was safe… My anxiety receded into a small coil in my gut. It felt like it was going to sleep, almost like a little snake. The bosun stood there for a moment, his hand heavy on my shoulder. It felt like he had something that he wanted to say. He didn't though; after a few minutes, he pulled back and wandered away.

X

We were maybe half an hour from shore. I was halfway up the mast, clinging, trying to see how long I could stay up with the power of friction as the crew mulled about below me. Luffy and Usopp were fishing again, this time using long ribbons of canvas as lures. The captain was whistling and swinging his legs back and forth. Beside him, the gunner drooped. I didn't blame him- as we grew closer and closer to Alabasta's shores, the temperature was skyrocketing. I'd long since rolled up my pants and sleeves, tying up my shirt like I had back on Little Garden.

It still wasn't enough. Everything was so hot, so dry… And my skin was heating up in an uncomfortable way. I've never burned easily, and by that point I was tanned from my time at sea, but this… I was going to have a doozie of a sunburn. Should've left my sleeves and that down- but it was just too hot. Maudit, what I would've given to be able to swim. At the moment, it felt like my Devil Fruit was more trouble than it was worth.

Just as I was thinking that, Luffy let out a whoop. "Yeah! I caught something!"

A shadow rose up between the Going Merry and the sun, spraying cool drops of salty water. I was grateful for the tiny flecks of relief, though I really wished there'd been more. Below me, Usopp squeaked and pointed at the giant thing that had risen from the sea.

"AH! What the Hell's that?"

As big as a whale, covered in white fur with a green belly. One paw rose out of the water, gently tugging out the hook that had latched into a great, pointed ear. The adorable face pouted cutely and let out a whine that was enough to shake the Merry's rigging. Vivi looked up from the poop deck in awe.

"That's a sea cat… They're legendary creatures, sacred to the goddess Bastet. I never thought I'd see one…" The princess bowed at the cat, mumbling prayers in a language I didn't understand as she fell to her knees. She clutched at something around her neck, a pendant of some sort worn underneath her shirt.

My hands twitched; I lost my focus on my powers and fell to the deck. Landing in a roll, I came to my feet and bounced onto the rail. Hands swiped for the back of my shirt as I moved, missing by millimeters as I took a flying leap off the ship, my powers giving me an extra boost. Ghin's voice followed me as I flew through the air.

"Jones! What're you doing?"

"KITTY!" I landed in soft, wet fur, cool and oily. Clinging to the massive, soft body, I nuzzled the top of the sea cat's head. It was so cute! I just wanted to hug it and snuggle it forever. Kitty, kitty, kittykittykitty! I missed my cat so much… Yes, I had Ruatha and I loved him lots, but no pet can just replace another. And yes, that means I knew this sea cat could never replace Rusty either, but still… Kitty.

"You're so cute, yes you are! I'm gonna call you Bluestar!" Oh, those giant ears were so velvety soft. There was a ring of gold pierced through one- old, the ear around it well healed and cared for. It didn't seem to bother Bluestar, so I left it be.

Everyone stared at me; Vivi leapt to her feet, affronted. "Jones! Get down from there! You can't just- just cuddle a sacred beast! It's- it's not right!"

"But he's so fluffy!" I crawled across the cat's head and removed the fishing hook from its ear. Bluestar began to purr as I rubbed behind his ears, great eyes closing as the feline mouth curled up in a smile.

"Mrrrrrrow!"

"Monah! Zokulaad!" Ruatha squawked loudly from the deck. My dragonet bounced up and down, flapping his little wings and lashing his tail back and forth.

Nami shook her head and sighed. "You can't keep him, you know."

That comment horrified Vivi. "Keep him? You can't own a sacred creature! And- how do you even know it's male?"

I shrugged. Okay, so I didn't really know what gender Bluestar was. Since I couldn't swim anymore, checking would be difficult. Peering over the edge of the sea cat's head, I frowned down at Nami. "I know... No more pets until I get my own place…"

"Oh, it's not that. The cat's just too big- he'd never fit on the Merry." Nami leaned on the rail and reached out to pet Bluestar's tail. "He is cute- and surprisingly well-behaved for a wild animal."

"Mrrrrrrow!"

Usopp sweatdropped. "You too Nami? Really? Do all girls-?" The gunner turned to Lisa only to droop a second later, deflating like a balloon. Why? Because the little painter was jumping up and down at the rails, her eyes morphing into tiny stars.

"I wanna pet the kitty too!" Lisa stretched out her arm, but was too short to reach. Sighing and rolling his eyes, Ghin picked her up and held her over the side. The painter hummed happily as she stroked Bluestar's side. "Thanks, Ghin!"

"Any time."

Shaking his head, Usopp let out a sigh. Sanji snorted and blew a smoke ring at him. "What? You're seriously surprised by this at this point? And why does it bother you so much anyways?"

"Huh? I- I don't know…" The gunner shook his head. "Kaya never did anything like this…"

"Kaya was stuck inside and your home island didn't have much in the way of interesting animals," Zoro reminded him. Usopp nodded thoughtfully.

Oh, I had an idea… Not that we needed it, but it would be cool, and might make an impression on the locals. I rubbed the edge of Bluestar's ear. "Hey buddy… Could you pull us into port?"

"Mrah?" The tilt of his head as Bluestar tried to look up at me nearly threw me off. I clung onto his fur and increased friction so I wasn't thrown off.

Vivi let out an offended squawk. "Jones, what part of sacred creature don't you understand? You can't just ask him to do something? Just get down from there- we'll be in port in half an hour, if not less!"

Ignoring the princess, I continued petting and scratching at thick fur. "If you do, I'll buy you tuna," I offered.

"Mrah? Mou rou. Prrrrrrng."

"He says he'll hold you to that," Chopper translated, looking up from a medical text. The little reindeer was snuggled against one of Nami's tangerine pots, doing his best to stay out of the sun. Despite the heat, he still refused to remove his hockey jersey. "And he wants a ball of yarn too."

"Of course! Anything for the adorable little fluffball!" I rubbed my cheek against the great, pointed ear beside me. "Oh! And someone should furl the sails and flag- it's time to go undercover."

"On it, Big Sis!" Johnny and Yosaku ran to do as I'd suggested. Mairead stared after them.

"Undercover? You kids go undercover?" The muscular woman couldn't hide her disbelief.

"Yeah." Sanji nodded. "Jones' idea- avoid the shitty marines as long as possible. It seems to be working well enough so far. Even when we do meet them, they don't usually bother us. We even get money from them sometimes by sending in Mossball and the hunters- they're still registered with the World Government as bounty hunters."

Mairead whistled. "Clever…"

"Mrah!" Bluestar darted forwards and grabbed the Merry's anchor between his teeth. Pulling the chain out slightly so it looped back over his shoulder, the sea cat turned and swam for shore, hauling the ship along in his wake. Luffy bounced to the figurehead and hung upside down from his special seat, clinging to his hat and giggling like mad.

"Shishishishishishi! Yay! I love it when we do this!"

While most of the crew looked confused at his outburst, Ghin smirked. "Heh. Seem familiar, Shit Cook?"

"Oh, go chase a cat War Dog." Despite his words, Sanji was smiling as he leaned on the rail.

"Already doing that." The rigger leaned over the side slightly, trailing his hand through the waves whipped up by our passage.

"Familiar?" Jack asked with a squawk. "You've done this before?"

"Not all of us," Zoro snorted. He waved at me, Luffy, Sanji, and Ghin. "Just those four. Although I think they said it was a cow last time."

"Sea cows are sacred to Hathor," Vivi said in a small voice, clutching once more at whatever pendant she wore under her clothes. "Have you no respect for the sacred creatures at all?"

Mairead laid a hand on the princess' shoulder. "To be fair, if what Mr Ei- Igaram told me is true, you could swing a stick around here and you'd probably hit a sacred creature."

Vivi shook her head. "That's not true! Only the sea beasts and the sun vultures are truly sacred- although every creature is connected to one of the gods."

I have to admit, only a small corner of my mind was paying attention to the conversation taking place back on the Merry, and that I soon lost track of what was going on. Why? Because I was riding the head of a giant sea cat as he races through the waves. It was both awesome and adorable. I clutched my hat to my head to keep it from being blown away. "Sesehihihihihi!"

Pulled by Bluestar, it didn't take the Going Merry long at all to reach port. The cat released the anchor shortly before hitting the pier, moving to the side and letting the ship slide by under her own momentum. Wood thumped echoingly against wood; I winced at the damage to Merry's hull, however minor. A great white paw reached up and nudged me as my crew mates dropped anchor and secured the ship- I wasn't sure both were necessary, but to each his own. Docking wasn't my job. Bluestar waited until I climbed onto his paw, then placed me gently on the end of the pier. I patted the massive, velvety appendage.

"Thank you so much fluffy. I'll bring you some tuna and yarn when we come back to the ship, okay?"

"Myah!" Bluestar licked me once. It was like being rubbed all over with a towel made of damp sandpaper- very rough sandpaper too, as it rubbed a couple patches of my skin raw, most notably the back of my hands. Then the sea cat sank beneath the waves, golden eyes glittering.

I rejoined my crew as everyone disembarked. Hands on her hips, Nami took control. "Okay. Jones, make a list of supplies for whoever goes shopping. Vivi… Where are we?"

Saluting the sailing master, I pulled out a pen and paper and got to work. The princess looked around. "This is Nanohana, our biggest port city. From here, we need to find the rebels so we can try to diffuse the situation- I think they should be in Yuba. Their leader, Kohza- that's where he's from."

Vivi glanced at me as she spoke, as if asking me to speak, what I knew. I very carefully focused on my lists, keeping my face blank. I couldn't tell her that the rebels had moved to Katorea, not yet. But despite my poker face- which I know for a fact is pretty good- Vivi had spoken with me enough in the past to know I was hiding something. "Jones… You once told me you knew where Kohza and the rebels would be when we got to Alabasta. Does that mean they aren't in Yuba?"

Tabarnak. "Whether they are or not, we need to go there. There's something we need to pick up, and we'll be needed at Rain Dinners before the rebels are ready to make a move anyway."

"WHAT?" Vivi reached out to grab my bandanna on instinct, stopping at the last instant rather than try and strangle me as she once would've. "We need to go to Rain Dinners? You know that's Crocodile's casino, right? We'd be walking into a trap!"

"It's only a trap if he's ready for us." I looked up from the shopping list. "And yes, I'm well aware that Crocodile's prepared the place as a trap for generic intruders, even if he's not expecting us specifically. If we're careful, we can avoid them, and deal an early blow against him. We might even be able to take Crocodile out early, although I doubt it."

"And what if we do something completely different?" Vivi wanted to know. I blinked in confusion.

"Eh?"

"These things you know- from your visions, or however you get all this information- they seem to follow a pretty specific path of events. I can see it sometimes, how surprised you get by certain things, things that go off the rails, and Ghin's mentioned something about you knowing how much you can change things. So…" Here Vivi frowned at me- concerned and cautious, but also sly and considering. "What would happen if we ignored your visions, hmm? If we did this someone else's way?"

Abandon the stations of the canon completely? I had no idea what would happen if we did that- and I doubted other me was comfortable enough at this point to do that yet. But at the same time, it might be better… or worse. I bowed my head. "I- I have no idea. What I know is that the rebels and the army have both been infiltrated by Baroque Works, so approaching either group without taking out Crocodile and his officers first could lead to us being killed. I don't know who the infiltrators are- no faces or names. I know one of Crocodile's backup plans, but from the snail call Sanji and I overheard, there's at least one other that I know nothing about. And there are a few people running around who were already out of the picture in my- my visions, plus Smoker's not here…" I shrugged helplessly.

No one said anything for a long minute; the only movement was Ruatha scrambling up onto my shoulders and nibbling on my hat. I stared down at the pier, unwilling to meet my crew mates' eyes. I was worried about what I'd see there- disappointment, most likely. "Sorry…"

"Sorry for what?" Ghin poked me in the forehead, which had the side-effect of forcing me to look up at everyone.

I shrugged. "Sorry for not knowing… Not knowing what would happen."

Luffy snorted. "Jones is being stupid. We don't care what you know or don't know- not knowing what's coming makes things more fun."

One by one, everyone nodded. Nami smiled as she took the shopping list I'd been working on. "Of course," the sailing master said dazedly as she skimmed over what I'd written, "We still need to decide what we're doing and how."

Sticking his tongue out, Luffy bashed his fists together with a rubbery thud. "I'd rather kick Crocodile's ass than try and find assassins. Zoro?"

"Same." The bosun yawned. "If we go find the rebels like Vivi wants, we'll probably just end up talking the whole time. Not my thing."

Johnny and Yosaku looked at each other, then raised their hands. "Um… Why do we have to do one or the other?" the blue hunter asked. His partner nodded.

"Yeah. Aren't there enough of us to do both? Like, we get supplies, then half of us go to these Yuba and Rain Dinners places, and the other half go to the rebels. As long as no one's ever alone, we can take on any assassins, right?"

I froze, stunned, my mouth falling open with a hiss. Why hadn't I thought of that? We had a crew roughly twice the size it would've been in canon- we should be able to get twice as much accomplished. Tabarnak… I smacked myself in the forehead a few times as I came to the realization that the hopeless bounty hunters had just been the voice of wisdom. That hurt.

Luffy beamed and clapped the hunters on the shoulder. "Shishishishi! That's a great idea!"

Nami nodded. "Alright then. We'll get our supplies, then meet back up here in a few hours to split off for Operation Save Alabasta. Sanji, Chopper, you're on food and medical supplies. Ghin, Lisa, you pick up travelling clothes. Usopp, Johnny, Yosaku, miscellaneous gadgets and supplies. Vivi, you're with me on maps and travel information. Zoro, guard the ship."

"What?!" the bosun's indignant yelp was lost under the far louder chorus that was Jack, Mairead, Luffy, and I combined.

"WHAT ABOUT US?!"

"Please- I know better than to let you go wandering off." Nami patted Zoro on the head. "Finding you again would take too long. As for you four- Jones, take Luffy to a restaurant or something and get him something to eat. It'll keep him quiet until the rest of us are done. Jack and Mairead… I don't know. You try and pick up some intel on Baroque Works' and the rebels current movements. It might help, since Jones says she doesn't know everything."

"But-!"

"They can't all know you're travelling with us yet," Nami interrupted before Jack could get going. "That Mr Two fellow can't possibly have informed every agent in Alabasta in a few hours; if you lay low, you should be fine."

"Laying low isn't exactly our strong point," Mairead sighed. And she was right- people were bound to notice a wannabe prince wandering around with an amazon who was nearly seven feet tall, at least this early on the Grand Line. "We were more search and retrieval agents than actual espionage."

"Just do your best," Nami huffed. "If you get in trouble, yell really loud and blow something up. Some of us will come get you."

Jack frowned. "How do we know-?"

"Trust me, for this crew, that always works." The sailing master shot an amused look at Luffy and Zoro. Neither noticed; the former was bouncing in place, impatient to be off in search of a restaurant, while the latter was grumbling about being left to guard the ship. As a last-minute whim, I left Ruatha behind to keep Zoro company. My little dragon needed to learn to follow orders he didn't like, after all, no matter how much he whined and stared at me with his big, blue eyes.

X

"So, what would you like to eat?" I walked slightly behind Luffy as we wandered through Nanohana, gripping his hand and staring at the ground. I had my bandanna pulled up over my nose- the streets of this town reeked. There was perfume everywhere. Lavender, roses, hibiscus, myrrh… Warring scents of all origins and price ranges filled the air, making my eyes water. Even with my bandanna, I couldn't block everything out.

"I don't care. Just somewhere with meat." Luffy was holding his nose too, as he scanned the area for a restaurant.

We'd been walking for about fifteen minutes, looking for something decent to eat. It was harder than it sounded; while Nanohana had an expansive market, it was largely open-air stalls selling perfumes, makeup, jewellery… Not the sort of things we were interested in at the moment. And the town was starting to give me the creeps. It felt like someone was watching us. At first, I thought it was just my anxiety acting up, but… Every time I glanced around, I was seeing movement, like someone hiding every time I turned towards them. I never saw them, just caught brief glimpses of fluttering black, but we were definitely being followed.

I wondered who it was.

As well as a restaurant, I was also looking for Ace. Had he got my message in the paper? Had he understood it? He had to… Maybe he was waiting in a restaurant- maybe even the same one he'd been first shown in in canon. That would make sense. Anyone waiting for Luffy would do it somewhere there was food.

"What about you Miss?" A merchant in dark clothing suddenly accosted us from the side, making me jump and hide behind my captain. "Would you like to buy a golden apple? They make you immortal- I found them on the great tree of-!"

"No thanks," Luffy interrupted, squeezing my hand. "We're hungry, but your apples smell like paint. Paint doesn't taste good."

"Huh? How did you…?" The merchant froze, stunned, as his voice trailed off. Luffy paid him no more mind, Whistling, my captain dragged me onwards, still in search of a restaurant.

Music began to play, a man on a street corner starting to blow into a set of panpipes. He had a partner who began beating on a pair of drums. A woman was dancing in front of them, bells on her wrists and ankles jingling. She was very pretty… And dressed in one of the costumes I remembered from canon that left very little to the imagination- hopefully with Ghin and Lisa on clothing duty, those wouldn't have to be a thing. Although the crab… Eh, we'd cross that bridge when we came to it. There were other ways to motivate animals rather than with a perverted fantasy.

The noise and heat were getting worse. I tugged my hat down and scuffed my feet, keeping even closer to Luffy as we continued along. So many people… It wasn't as bad as it used to be, but my ears were still ringing with the presence of so much humanity. And they were so close… I made myself as small as I could to avoid touching anyone but my captain. My skin crawled. Merde… The feeling of eyes on my back wasn't going away. Guess it hadn't been the apple merchant then. Was there a Baroque Works agent following us? It was possible- I didn't know nearly all the Billions and Millions to be able to pick them out of a crowd, and there were even a number of Frontier agents I hadn't seen or couldn't remember. Misters Six, Seven, Ten, Eleven, and Twelve; Misses Mother's Day, Father's Day, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Any of them could be watching, and I wouldn't necessarily know even if they didn't hide.

Tabarnak. This was no good- just thinking about these things was making me more anxious. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to relax. Blue light; dolphins and the sound of lapping waves. My heartrate steadied. I was still too hot though. Sweat ran down my back, stinging my peeling skin. I reached my free hand up and began slowly tearing white, flakey strips off my reddened shoulders. That helped too; focused on creating the largest continuous pieces of skin I could, I wasn't thinking about the people around me.

An urgent tug brought my attention back to Luffy. My captain was pointing urgently at a building down at the end of the street. "Look! I found food!"

He was pointing at the Spice Bean, of course. Dozens of people were milling about in front of it, some entering, some leaving- but none panicking over there being a dead guy inside. Huh. So, either Ace wasn't there, or we'd gotten here before his narcolepsy struck. Probably the latter; Ace was my favourite character, so no way would other me leave him out. As we drew closer, I could smell something sizzling like a great stir fry, even over all the perfume. Mmm… Stir fry sounded so good after days of actual old-fashioned ship rations. Luffy's face lit up like the sun as we wove through the crowd.

The back of my neck twitched; I still felt like we were being followed. But when I looked around, I didn't see anything or anyone suspicious. Not even the flickers this time. Not that that meant anything. I put the feeling aside in favour of heading for the Spice Bean though. Once we were inside, I could set up and ambush whoever was following us. A nice corner, my back to a wall… I'd feel much better.

Then my captain's grin grew even broader. He started waving his free hand in excitement, like he'd just seen one of our crew mates. "Hey! We're over here Sa-!"

"GET AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!" Luffy's voice was cut off by possibly the loudest yell I'd ever heard. Less than half a second later, something heavy slammed into me, hard. The impact was far more than I could absorb, although my powers did their best to protect me. Between the initial strike and the explosion that went off as I overloaded, I was thrown into the air. Whatever had hit me came with me, rising into the air on a column of flames, before a foot slammed into my side, launching me sideways with another combined impact and explosion.

Tabarnak.

The combined force was enough to carry me out of town, even as I figured out who the source must've been. And okay, I knew Ace was strong, but I didn't know he was strong enough to do this. I was flying. For a few seconds, at least. Soon enough, I slammed down into the desert, sending a gout of sand splashing up around me. And then I bounced, which would've been funny if I'd been watching this on a cartoon, or maybe if it had been happening to Luffy. Well… I say bounced, but what really happened was my powers absorbed enough force from my landing to make me explode again. My second landing was accompanied by a smaller gout of sand and a wave of nausea as my wind was knocked out.

Before I could get up, heavy boots landed on my back. Large hands planted on my shoulders, shoving my head into the sand. I flailed wildly; I couldn't see, couldn't breathe! And the hands on my back were heating up- not quite painful yet, but they'd get there eventually, and the heat added to the smothering sensation.

"Who are you?!" Ace's voice, familiar and beloved, was underscored with the angry crackle of embers. He growled so close to my ear, I was surprised he didn't end up biting me. "Where's Blackbeard?! What are you doing with my brother?!"

What? What made Ace think I knew where Blackbeard was? I tried to raise my head, to answer, to explain- but for all that he was questioning me, he didn't actually seem to want me to say anything. Couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe… I had sand in my mouth and nose, my throat tingling- but I couldn't cough with Ace crouched on my back. And his hands were heating up more and more… What had I done to make him so angry?

"Why aren't you answering me?" Ace demanded. "Say something!"

I couldn't. Trust me, Ace, if I could, I would have. Desperate, I slapped at the ground and my own thigh, a martial arts signal for I've had enough, let me up before you hurt me. Ace either didn't understand or didn't care. And then… Fire. Ace's hands went from hot to searing, like- well, like being branded. Crisse de calice de tabarnak d'osti de sacrament de trouvvierge! And it wasn't just the hands anymore either. Out of the corners of my eyes, I saw flickers of orange and yellow- not that I could see much at all, between the sand clinging to my glasses and the tears I couldn't hold back.

The sand around me began to heat up, glowing and melting. I didn't know how hot Ace had to be for that to happen, nor did I care at the moment. Fragments of the desert turned to glass. Some of them were close enough to touch, sting, burn, adding to the searing from Ace's hands. Tiny, boiling blisters grew along my arms, my legs, my sides… Almost anywhere my bare skin touched the sand.

And, well, I screamed. Or tried, at least. My voice isn't exactly suited for it, and with the sand everywhere, everything was clogged, muffled, choking. All my attempt at screaming got me was a sore throat and a mouthful of even more sand. Merde, I couldn't breathe! And all I could see was black spots interspersed with painful flashes of white.

I stopped struggling. Too much pain, no air, no energy. The small corner of my brain that was still coherent spent the next few seconds coming to terms that I was about to be killed by my favourite character. Of course, the rest of my thoughts, had they been put to sound, would have come across more like this-

EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

"Why aren't you saying anything?!" Even through the sand and my bandanna, I could smell burning flesh, hair, and cotton. More concerning, though, was the feel of boiling wetness that was the only thing I could feel besides plain searing. That probably meant the skin on my back was gone, or at least well on its way.

Sorry Luffy. I don't know what I did to cause this sort of death, but I swear it wasn't intentional.

"GET! OFF! MY! WITCH!" The snap of rubber filled the air. There was a resounding thud as something slammed into Ace. He didn't move- actually, he froze in place. Although at least he stopped burning me, even if it was a little late for that to do any good at this point.

"What? Who? Luffy?"

"Get off of her, you- wait, Ace?!" Another familiar voice came out of nowhere. Ah, Sabo Ex Machina. Wait, what? For the second time in about five seconds, something thudded into Ace's side, although this one sounded less fleshy and more metallic. This time, though, he went rolling sideways.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Ace snarled, confused. I tried to push myself up, to see what was going on, but I couldn't. Any movement just made my already burning back hurt even more. Okay, I'd settle on listening for now.

"I'm- I'm- I know it's been a long time, Ace, but don't you recognize me?" Sabo sounded hurt. Footsteps thumped lightly against sand as the Revolutionary approached his brother.

There was a loud crackling noise, like a roaring bonfire- probably Ace preparing an attack. "Stay back! Keep away from my brother, you- you- I bet you're working with Blackbeard too!"

"I don't know any Blackbeard," Sabo soothed. "I'm here because I saw Jones' message in the paper, and I wanted to spend some time with Luffy while they were here. And you, if you'd been smart enough to figure it out. Although from the way you went after her, I think you may've gotten the wrong impression."

"Wrong impression? She's a pervert and a spy! 'Bouncy young Straw Hat seeking Freckled Firebrand, last seen sailing away from the Dawn. My friends and I will be in Alabasta in about two month's time; if you still love me, meet us in Nanohana. My White Lion might be able to track the bastard who burned your Thatch. ASL.' Who writes something like that? And what she said about Thatch… There's no way anyone who wasn't working with Blackbeard could've known about that! Her ad came out three days before- before…" Ace descended into a wordless growl. "And if you came to see her…"

The sounds of combat rang out above me, Ace pouncing on Sabo, still not knowing who he was. Fist and fire met a steel pipe and leather gloves; sand flew through the air. I tried to curl up in a ball, make myself small so I was less likely to become collateral damage, but my back screamed at me not to move. Seconds later, a rubber hand came to rest on my shoulder. Luffy's fingers touching the open wounds made them hurt even more; I yelled into the sand. This just made me start coughing, which caused rhythmic jolts of pain, that led to more yelling, followed by more coughing… You get the picture.

Luffy gently raised me into a sitting position, wincing in sympathy as his touch made me flinch. "Are you- no, Jones isn't okay." My captain answered his own question before he could tempt me to punch him- which in my current state, I doubted I could actually manage. Careful not to touch my back, Luffy brushed away the sand that clung to me. Too close… He was well inside my personal space. But in my current state, I couldn't really care. It was all I could do to not let my captain see me cry.

Sabo momentarily knocked Ace to the ground, his pipe black with Haki as it spun. "I don't know any Blackbeard!" the blond yelled, "And how can you not know who I am by now? I know it's been ten years, but really?"

"Ten years? What do you-?" Ace froze. Grey eyes scanned the Revolutionary, pausing frequently. I could practically see his thought process as he stood there. Blue coat- who wears a coat in this weather? Blond hair, and those eyes… I know those eyes. And a top hat- with goggles. Goggles. "Sa- Sabo?"

"The one and only." A broad smile grew on the blond's face. It was twisted a little bit on the left side, pulled by his scars, a twist that made even the softest smile look just a bit mad.

Ace remained frozen for a long moment. His eyes were blown wide, unfocused, unseeing- I wondered if he was having a flashback. Then, without warning, the freckled pirate lunged forwards at his brother. A flaming fist met a Haki-coated pipe with a resounding clang; Ace kept swinging, again and again, each strike blocked with equal force.

"You asshole! I thought you were dead! Why couldn't you tell us?"

"I had amnesia!" Sabo explained, He blocked and deflected each punch, but didn't strike back. "I didn't remember anything! Not that I had brothers, not where I came from, not even my own name- nothing except that I didn't want to go back to my parents."

"If you didn't remember anything, why do you remember now?" Ace changed tactics, going in for a spinning kick. Sabo blocked that too.

"Because I saw Luffy almost die in Loguetown!" Sabo spun his pipe like a circus performer, dissipating a small fireball before it could do any damage. The sight of the flickering orange made me flinch involuntarily.

Ace continued to attack his brother, his strikes becoming sloppier and sloppier as the minutes passed. His face was grim, his jaw twitching. For a little bit he didn't say anything, then… "I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead." Ace suddenly drooped, losing all his momentum. Instead of trying to hit Sabo again, the freckled pirate sort of fell forward and wrapped his arms around his brother. Sabo froze in shock.

"Ah! Um, Ace…?"

"I thought you were dead," Ace growled, squeezing Sabo even tighter. "Just shut up and let me hug you."

"Shishishishi! Fair enough." Blue-clad arms wrapped around Ace's bare shoulders as the freckled pirate started to laugh.

"Ehahahahahaha! Oh my God, you somehow ended up laughing the same as Luffy. How in the world-?"

"I was raised by his father."

That made Ace freeze again. "What? You were raised by Luffy's father?"

Sabo nodded. "Yeah… It was Dragon who saved me, pulled me out of the water when the Celestial Dragon shot my boat. His men nursed me back to health, then trained me… Eventually, he started training me himself, and now I'm his right hand, the chief of staff of the Revolutionary Army."

"Somehow, that makes way too much sense," Ace sighed. He released his hold on Sabo and took a step back, glancing over at Luffy. Then he frowned. "Wait- why're you hanging out with her? She kidnapped Luffy!"

Sabo's palm met his forehead with a resounding sigh. He shook his head. Before he could say anything, Luffy piped up defensively from beside me. "Hey! Jones didn't kidnap me- she's on my crew!"

"You have a crew?" Ace asked in disbelief. Luffy scowled at him, hard enough that the freckled pirate actually looked sheepish. "Hey! It's not like I've seen your bounty or anything- I've been busy trying to find Blackbeard, and then with that ad… I've been a little distracted lately!"

Luffy pouted. "I don't have a bounty yet."

"What?! You managed to get to the Grand Line without getting a bounty?!" Ace's jaw dropped in disbelief. Luffy nodded miserably.

"Yeah… Jones says it's cause she knocked out some marines somewhere. I should have one." My captain poked me roughly in the shoulder. Pain shot through my back; I hissed. Luffy flinched in sympathy. "Oops. Sorry Jones."

"S'okay." My voice came out very small as I tried to hold back tears. So much pain… Even breathing hurt, pulling at the wounds on my back with even the slightest movement. I pasted a smile on my face when I looked up at my captain. He frowned at me.

"Jones is not okay," Luffy peered at my back. I don't know what he saw there, but whatever it was, it made him squeak.

"Aw dammit, Ace." Sabo strode around behind me, checking whatever Luffy had seen. "What did you do?"

"I thought she'd kidnapped Luffy and was working with Blackbeard," Ace said, folding his arms. "Still not sure about the second one. I mean, what she wrote- it was definitely aimed at me, and it made it sound like Luffy and I… And she knew something there's no way she could've unless she was working for Blackbeard!"

"And you thought this was a good idea?" Sabo waved a hand at my back. Even the air moving against the wounds made them hurt. Ace came over to look, but unlike his brothers, he didn't seem particularly concerned.

"She's Blackbeard's lackey, and she wouldn't answer any of my questions."

"Ace…" Luffy's hat shadowed his eyes. The freckled pirate shot his younger brother a confused frown. Opening his mouth, Ace was about to say something when- "Fist of Love!"

"Yow!" Grey eyes went wide as rubber hit flesh. Unlike me, Ace was able to stay standing through the punch- but he seemed shocked enough that there even was a punch. "How the- when did you learn that?! How did you learn that?!"

My captain shrugged. "Needed it to beat some sense into Jones. And she's my crew mate, not that Blackbeard guy's."

"But then, how did she know-?" The ends of Ace's hair lit on fire, dancing to emphasize his confused irritation.

"That seems to be a theme with Jones," Sabo said, distracted. He detached a canteen from his belt. "Now, Jones, this is going to hurt, but it needs to be done. We'll still need to get you to a doctor though."

Luffy bounced beside us. "Oh yeah! We have a doctor now! His name's Chopper; he's a talking, transforming reindeer, and he's really cool!"

"That's good." Sabo nodded absently. And then- pain! Something cold and wet hit my back, stinging like Hell. I grit my teeth and hunched over, feeling water coursing over my back. My shirt hung forward oddly as I curled in on myself. Of course; the fabric on my back had been burned away before the skin had been.

"Oww…"

"Sorry," Sabo sighed. "I needed to clean them up a bit though. Ideally, I'd wash them out even more, but I'm out of water for now. And we should really wrap them so you don't get any sand... But I don't have any bandages."

Luffy's eyes lit up. "Bandages? I have some!" My captain pulled a large roll of white gauze out of his shirt. Sabo raised an eyebrow; Luffy answered before his brother could question him. "Ghin says everyone should carry bandages all the time, cause we all get hurt so much. 'Specially Jones, but she doesn't carry any, even though she has like a bajillion pockets."

I wanted to see first though. Call it morbid curiosity. Stiffly fumbling around with my utility belt, I pulled out a small hand mirror and passed it back over my shoulder. Sabo accepted it with confusion.

"What's this for?"
"Wanna see." I turned my head as much as I could. Shrugging, Sabo held up the mirror. What I saw made me flinch. Ace had left my back looking like so much meat- and not even raw meat, it was medium-rare at least. Two handprints, looking bizarrely like red wings, spread across my shoulders; they no longer bled, although from the looks of it they had at some point. The rest of my skin was covered in bubbling blisters, many of which had burst and were oozing yellowish fluid.

Sabo handed my mirror back. "It probably looks worse than it is," he offered. "If you survived that dinosaur Luffy told me about, you should get through this just fine."

"Yeah…"

Ace looked around, still confused, still irritated. "Wait- why isn't anyone explaining? If she's not one of Blackbeard's, how did she know he was gonna attack Thatch?"

Luffy whistled unconvincingly while Sabo shrugged. "I dunno. Jones just knows stuff." Brown eyes glanced off to one side, focusing on a cloud that was shaped like a rhubarb leaf.

"You're still a terrible liar, Lu." Ace shook his head. "So, you know… But you don't wanna tell us."

"We can trust Jones," my captain insisted, rather than telling Ace what he wanted to know. His words made warmth bubble in my heart. "She knows lots, but she's my friend; she wouldn't hurt anyone with it. Whatever that Blackbeard guy did, she was prob'ly tryna warn you or something."

Ace opened his mouth- whether to ask questions or argue, I wasn't sure. I interrupted before he could say anything, tilting my head forward so my hat shadowed my eyes. Taking a deep breath, which made my back burn more, I spoke in a low, dark tone. I didn't even try to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "You're not the only one with a reason to hate Blackbeard, you know."

"What?" Ace leaned closer, eyes lighting up with dark interest. I winced, both at the invasion of my personal space, and at the shots of pain as Sabo began bandaging my back. Which was also an uncomfortable invasion of personal space.

"Teach… When I was seventeen, Teach killed two men I greatly admired. He wasn't… He didn't actually strike the final blow on one of them, but he was responsible…" And I hadn't been able to bring myself to read One Piece again for three years afterwards. "If he hadn't captured… Neither of them would've died."

Raising my head, I forced myself to meet Ace's eyes. "I know where I can find him, and when I do… When I do, Teach is dead meat."

"Teach is mine!" Ace growled. He moved as if to grab me, then halted at the last moment when Sabo and Luffy reached across to stop him. "You know what he did- I don't know how, but you know. So you know he's a Whitebeard problem. Not one of yours."

"Good luck finding him without me."

A sharp tug from Sabo made me hiss in pain. "Hey! Jones, quit provoking him; it won't help anything." The Revolutionary glanced at his freckled brother. "And Ace, no more attacking her. She's Luffy's crew mate, and a freelance agent for the Revolution."

Ace's mouth opened and closed like a fish for a few minutes. "But, but, but-!"

"Enough Ace." Sabo tied off the bandages and stood, offering me his hand. I shook my head and stood on my own, trembling from the bolts of pain that shot through my back. And… legs? I looked down, noticing for the first time that the heat of Ace's earlier flames had not just turned patches of sand into glass, but also fused some of that glass to my body.

"Oww…" Trying to walk sent me crashing to my knees in the sand. I'm running out of ways to describe all the pain. Tabarnak, it was worse than when the raptors had gotten me. I really needed to stop getting hurt like this. Merde, it felt like I was going to vomit. I nearly choked on the effort of holding back tears.

For a brief moment, while kneeling there in the sand, I felt like someone was holding me. Arms surrounded me from behind - except not really, because nothing touched my wounds. It was… comforting, like someone was trying to lend me strength. The shaking in my limbs calmed, the pain fading just a little. Just enough to be bearable. Slowly, the feeling of being hugged faded away as well. I wanted to question where it came from, only… I was too busy looking for the strength to get back to my feet.

Luffy made a distressed noise and moved as if to pick me up. He was stopped by- Ace? The freckled pirate held his hand out and shook his head. "I- I'll do it Lu."

"Huh? But I thought Ace was angry with Jones?" Luffy cocked his head to the side, confused. A frown creased his face as he tried to make sense of the situation.

Ace looked off to the side, unable to meet his little brother's eyes. "I am," he grumbled, "But not- I shouldn't have attacked her like that. Just… What she wrote… I'll help her back to your ship." Ace's face was red with embarrassment even as he scowled at me. "You have a ship, right?"

"Yep! The Going Merry- she's the best ship ever!"

Large hands moved to pick me up. I flinched away from Ace's touch, from a combination of pain and the sudden invasion of my personal space. The freckled pirate rolled his eyes and grabbed me- although he was surprisingly gentle about it as he heaved me up onto his shoulders. His very warm shoulders. A man made of fire is not a comfortable person to have carrying you in the desert. Especially not when he's the reason you need to be carried in the first place. Favourite character or not, I was not happy with Ace right now.

Sabo giggled helplessly as the three brothers began walking back towards town. "Shishishishishi! Oh, I've definitely missed a lot- I never would've thought that even ten years would be enough to turn Ace into a gentleman!"

"Shut up!" Ace snapped. I couldn't see his face anymore, but the back of his neck was turning bright red. "I thought you were dead- someone had to be the mature one and look after Luffy! Makino taught me manners so I could-!" The freckled pirate cut himself off sharply. That didn't matter though, since his blond brother immediately grabbed onto what he'd been saying.

"Makino taught you manners so you could what, exactly?" Sabo leaned in closer, a teasing smile on his face. Ace shoved him away.

"Makino taught me manners so I could thank Shanks for saving Luffy…" The freckled pirate grumbled quietly. Sabo's smile widened.

"Aww! If I'd known all it took for you to become a good big brother was me faking my death, I would've done it a lot sooner."

"Don't say that!" Ace spun around and glared at Sabo, his hair bursting into flame to emphasize his words. I flinched; feeling my movement, the freckled pirate immediately took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Don't say that… You have no idea… I almost got Lu killed! We couldn't- I couldn't… If you hadn't… If I'd been better…"

Sabo's broad smile morphed into a frown. "I wouldn't have left if I had a choice Ace. I was trying to protect you- you and Lu. And things worked out in the end, didn't they? We're back together now."

"But for how long?" Ace asked bitterly. Sabo started smiling again.

"Well, I'm on conditional leave for as long as Luffy's crew's in Alabasta." Sabo folded his arms behind his head as they walked. "So… For a few days, at least. And I'd like your snail number, if you don't mind."

"I- aw shit!" Ace flinched as he reached down to pat his leg pouch. "Dammit! I forgot to pack a den-den mushi! Marco's gonna kill me!"

"Who's Marco?" Luffy wanted to know.

"First division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates," Ace explained. "He's a major mother hen."

"Like Ghin," Luffy nodded sagely. Then he frowned. "Wait- how does Ace know the first division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates? Who are the Whitebeard Pirates?"

"I joined them about a year ago," Ace said fondly, "They're like family to me. The old man especially… He accepted… things… about me that I thought no one but you two ever could."

That made both Luffy and Sabo smile. "Shishishishishi! I'm glad Ace found such good friends! Although… Does that mean Ace isn't aiming for the One Piece anymore?" My captain blinked up at his brother in confusion. Ace shook his head.

"Nah… I'd rather see Pops take the throne. So don't get cocky," here Ace slammed a fist into the top of Luffy's head and gave him a noogie through his hat, "Cause I'm still standing between you and the title."

Luffy stuck out his tongue. "Doesn't matter. I'm gonna be king of the pirates, even if I have to fight you, and this beard guy, and your mother hen on the way."

"Heh. I'm sure you will." Ace chuckled and patted Luffy on the head. My captain frowned at the patronizing gesture; Sabo snickered.

About then, we got back into town. I glanced up as we passed the Spice Bean, but Luffy didn't react at all. Apparently his brothers trumped food. Not that we needed to worry- Sanji would make us something when we got back to the Merry, since he'd finally had a chance to get more supplies. And it would certainly be worth the wait- Sanji was a better cook than everyone I'd ever met, except maybe my grandmother.

I would've expected more stares as we moved through the town. I mean- a tall, blond man in a heavy coat who spun a pipe as he walked, a small man whose every move was as bouncy as a rubber ball even when he wasn't using his powers, and a shirtless man carrying a woman wearing more bandages than shirt herself- it's not exactly something you see every day, or something I would expect to have any sort of good connotation. But no one gave us a second glance, except the apple salesman. He scowled at Luffy as we went by, which prompted glares from Ace and Sabo.

"You said you were here on conditional leave?" I asked Sabo quietly as we passed through town. He nodded.

"Yep. Green Dragon," Really, that was Dragon's codename? "Said I could come as long as I pumped you for information. Preferably about how you know all the things you know. He's not angry anymore," Sabo assured me when the blood started to drain from my face on reflex. "I don't think he ever was to begin with, really. You just scared him- he cares more about Lu than he likes to show."

Ace glanced at Sabo. "Wait- Jones met Lu's dad?"

The Revolutionary nodded. "The whole crew did- or everyone they had in Loguetown, at any rate. That doctor Lu mentioned is new. I've been in contact with them for ages." Sabo smirked at his brother; Ace responded by shoving the blond sideways into an alley.

There was a loud crashing noise that made Ace and Luffy halt in their tracks; Sabo popped out a moment later, looking and smelling like he'd crashed into a dumpster. His pipe- not Haki-coated this time- swiped harmlessly through Ace's head. "Jerk! Do you know how hard this coat is to clean?!"

"Watch it! Lu'll be pissed if I fight you and his witch… girl… thing… gets hurt more!" Ace darted sideways just in time to avoid being hit in the eye when Sabo threw a half-eaten orange at him.

"Shishishishishishi!" Luffy giggled at his brothers' antics.

I frowned. "Not a thing," I growled into the back of Ace's neck. He shrugged, offering no response.

A few minutes later, the freckled pirate hissed and ducked behind a stall selling colourful carpets. "Shit. Marines."

"Huh? Where?" Luffy didn't bother hiding while he looked around, despite the fact that Ace's words sent Sabo scrambling into the shadows as well. His brothers each grabbed him by a shoulder and hauled him behind the stall.

I peered over Ace's shoulder and around the edge of the stall. Sure enough, there was a squad of men dressed in blue and white wandering through the market. They didn't appear to be on duty- there were no officers to be seen, and all their weapons were holstered. Still, they were here. When I was sure Smoker had no reason to be right now. Although… There was that other marine captain in the Alabasta arc… Hina, that was her name. Maybe they were hers?

"Are you insane?" Ace hissed, "They'll spot you!"

Luffy shrugged and picked his nose. "So? I don't have a bounty. Jones told all the marines we were bounty hunters- even Grandpa believed her."

Ace and Sabo looked at me with new respect. Their voices cracked as they addressed me in unison. "You've met Gramps? And you convinced him Lu's crew was a crew of bounty hunters?"

"Yeah..." I shrugged, not feeling like explaining. To be honest, I didn't feel like doing much at all. The pain in my- largely my back, but most of my body, really- was dulling down to a constant aching and pulling. It left me tired and a little grumpy.

Sabo was the first one to snap out of it, gesturing towards a nearby alleyway. "You may not have a bounty Lu, but Ace does, and I'm supposed to avoid drawing attention to myself as part of the Revolution. Let's go this way."

Nodding, Ace changed course. Luffy shrugged and bounced alongside. I found myself relaxing as we wound through the back streets of Nanohana. Of course; there were fewer people back there. Or at least, for a while there was. Turning one corner, we ran head-on into a gang of mismatched men with assorted weapons, hanging around outside the back door of a bar.

Baroque Works Billions.

One of them spotted us in short order. He pointed at us with his glaive. "Oi! That's some of the pirates Mr Two said he saw with the princess!"

What? Bentham had had time to alert people to out presence? Well, I suppose he'd had an hour or two at least, even with travel time- paddlewheels were faster than sails. I was a bit put out that the okama had bothered to alert his coworkers that the Straw Hats were around, but that was just good business sense, wasn't it? He didn't know if he could trust me, so he kept doing his job. I probably would've done the same. Actually… I was doing the same.

Sort of.

"So," Ace asked Luffy, casually kicking three Billions with daggers into a wall when they tried to stab him, "What's your ship like? Please tell me you have a proper ship, and not some ratty dinghy or second-hand pontoon boat."

"Of course we have a proper ship!" Luffy said, affronted. He slammed two Billions' heads together before they could shoot Sabo, then flung them into a knot of their companions. "The Going Merry's awesome! She sailed up a mountain! And Lisa painted her, so now she looks all cool and stuff inside too!"

"Don't worry Ace," Sabo said when the eldest frowned at Luffy's lack of details, "I've already been aboard; the Going Merry's actually a good ship. A little East Blue caravel." A swing of his pipe sent a couple of Billions crashing to the ground and rolling down an adjoining alley.

The Billions didn't even slow the brothers down. I'm not entirely sure Ace and Sabo even registered the people they attacked; they could very well be acting on instinct, their Haki controlling their movements. Even Luffy was barely paying attention, treating the men he was ploughing through as if their bodies and weapons were poorly-placed curtains. Watching them get thrown aside so easily, I felt embarrassed on their behalf. I wanted to believe that even I would've done a better job standing up to the three brothers than these Billions were doing, but… Yeah, probably not.

We reached the pier without further incident- if the lackluster performance put on by the Billions even counted as an incident in the first place. Most of the crew were already there, putting away supplies. Only Jack and Mairead appeared to still be absent. Chopper cantered over with a distressed yelp when he saw me hanging from Ace's shoulders.

"Jones! Not again!" The reindeer turned into Heavy Point with a sound like cracking knuckles. Large, furry hands removed me from Ace's back and began poking and prodding at the bandages wrapping my new injuries. I flinched- oww…

"You need to stop getting hurt so much!" Unwinding the bandages, Chopper pulled some sort of salve out of his doctor's bag. It smelled strongly of aloe, lavender, and comfrey. My back burned anew as the doctor began gently rubbing the salve into the wounds. I flinched and tried to escape, but Chopper held me firmly.

"I would if I could." Oww… Ruatha scrambled over and licked my face, chewing on my hair and the edge of my hat. Blech… I really needed to train him not to do that. Dragon spit was gross.

Aside from Chopper, everyone paused in what they were doing to stare at Ace. Zoro leaned on the rail with a scowl. "Hey Luffy, Sabo… Who's this?"

"Ace!" Luffy beamed and bounced, leaping up onto his brother's back and wrapping rubber arms around the freckled pirate multiple times. "He's my other brother!"

Everyone nodded at that- everyone except Johnny and Yosaku, that is. The hunters had gone pale, their eyes blown wide. Without speaking, Johnny reached over and slapped his partner upside the head. Meanwhile, everyone else got back to whatever they were doing, with Chopper bodily dragging me aboard so he could rewrap my wounds.

Ghin sighed at the sight of me. "Jones…" he groaned, setting down the sail he'd been mending, "What did you do this time?"

"I think it's more something I did in Loguetown that's the problem," I said with a wince as Chopper got to work. "But long story short, I got barbequed." My words made my honorary brother shake his head, a large bead of sweat rolling down the side of his head.

Ace and Sabo jumped up on the rails, the former with Luffy still on his back. Sabo didn't stay up there long, stepping down to greet Lisa with a soft smile. His scars twisted the expression sideways. "Hello. You weren't here last time. What's your name?"

"Lisa." The little painter frowned and pointed the scissors she was holding at Sabo. "Who're you?"

"I'm Sabo, Luffy's big brother."

"Oh. Okay." Lisa cocked her head to one side, considering Sabo. "Is it a requirement that pirate siblings have to have scarred faces?"

"No," Sabo told her, shaking his head. "Although… With how dangerous it is to be a pirate, I'm actually surprised more don't." The blond looked over at his freckled brother, questioning how Ace had managed to be a pirate for three years without acquiring some form of major scarring.

Ace opened his mouth, about to introduce himself to the crew. He was interrupted before he could begin speaking, though, by incredibly loud yelling coming from shore. Glancing up revealed Jack and Mairead running towards the pier. Jack was shouting at the top of his lungs, arms flailing as the pair ran away from dozens upon dozens of Billions. "EEEEYAAAAARGH! HELP! THEY'RE ONTO US!"

Vivi stiffened in alarm. "The Billions! Mr Two must've warned them!"

Nami facepalmed. "I told those two to lay low. What part of that don't they understand?"

"Quack! Quack, qua-wack quack," Carue offered. Chopper snickered, but didn't translate.

"Alright, let's kick their- bleh!" Luffy stopped mid declaration as a wave washed over him. A massive white body rose out of the water next to the Going Merry. Brilliant green eyes glared down at us. Aw, tabarnak. I facepalmed. With everything that'd happened, I hadn't gotten a chance to pick up tuna and yarn for Bluestar.

"Mrawr?" And judging by his face, the sea cat knew this and was not happy.

"I- um- er…" Nope, I had no words. I shrugged helplessly at the great mammal, insofar as I could with the state my shoulders were in. My head hung heavy from my shoulders. "Sorry…"

Ghin rolled his eyes. "You didn't make it to a single store, did you Jones? I'm not surprised; trouble seems to follow you and Don Luffy like a duckling. Sending you off together somewhere… Here. I knew something like this would happen." The rigger pulled a large can of tuna out of his pocket, as well as a massive ball of multicoloured yarn.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" I opened the can with my Swiss Army Knife before tossing both offerings to Bluestar. The sea cat accepted the offerings with a grunt, devouring the tuna in a single lick before beginning to squeeze and bat at the yarn.

"Not that that isn't adorable," Usopp squawked, "In a huge and kind of terrifying way, but shouldn't we be more worried about them?" The gunner waved at the shore, where Jack and Mairead were rapidly drawing closer, a horde of Billions on their tails.

Chopper growled. "We can't let them near the ship. If we do, Jones will want to fight, and I want her back to at least get a chance to heal!"

"Don't worry…" Zoro drew his swords, clamping Wado Ichimonji between his teeth. "They won't get close at all." Okay, I still needed to know how he did that. But first…

"Actually… I have a better idea." Everyone paused to look at me. I grinned, despite the shot of pain that ran through my back as Chopper tied the bandages tight. "How good would it be for our PR with the citizens of Alabasta if one of the sacred beasts protected our crew?"

Most of the responses I got were expressions of sheer incredulity. Then Vivi burst out laughing, leaning on Carue for support. Oops. Looks like I finally broke the princess. "Ahahahahahahaha!" Vivi gasped for breath, tears in her eyes. "That's- that's absolutely mad! You don't get it at all, do you Jones? You can't just command the sacred beasts of Alabasta!"

"I'm not commanding," I informed her, "I'm asking nicely." Turning back to Bluestar, I smiled up at the cat. "How about it Cutie? Will you stop those men with swords and stuff from boarding our ship?"

"Meh?" Bluestar glanced at the shore, then nodded. "Mrao!"

"He says yes," Chopper translated helpfully. Although it wasn't really necessary.

Luffy unravelled from Ace's shoulders, bouncing onto the rails and stretching out an arm. He grabbed Jack by the back of the wannabe prince's shirt; Mairead grabbed on just before the rubber appendage snapped back. As Luffy retracted, Bluestar rose higher out of the water and swept a massive wave over the pier with his tail, stomping down a fluffy forepaw that flattened the foremost Billions with a thud. Tail swishing, claws out, the great feline swiped at the mercenaries with a snarl. "MEW! MRA MRO! HISSSSSSSSSS!"

"Shishishishi!" Luffy giggled as Jack and Mairead soared past Bluestar's green belly. The former Baroque Works agents hadn't even arrived on the Merry yet when my captain began shouting orders. "Raise the anchor and untie the mo- that line that holds us on the dock! Nami, let's go!"

"Aye-aye Captain!" Nami thumped her Clima-Tact against the deck to get everyone's attention. "Ghin, raise the mizzen sail! Johnny, take the helm! Let's go people!"

The deck became a flurry of activity. Soon enough, the Going Merry was pulling slowly away from the pier. Slowly, because we were only running under a single sail- with marines in the area, it wasn't safe to open the mainsail. Nami must've seen them too. Yes, with all the hostiles and potential hostiles in the area, it was best that we find somewhere else to dock and split the crew.

With how slow we were moving though, it was easy enough for ships leaving other piers nearby to follow us- and to gain ground, since they were moving under full sail. Three massive galleons, each full to brimming with Billions. And they were gaining fast. How many people had Bentham told about us, anyway? Although… Well, I suppose nothing travels faster than bad news.

"Gah! What do we do!" Usopp flailed his arms wildly. "We need to… The cannon! Turn us around Johnny! I bet I can sink them!"

I wasn't sure whether to be impressed with the gunner's confidence in his own aim, or exasperated with his naïveté. Three galleons with only one cannon… Nonsense. Even with the king of snipers, we'd need a full broadside to manage that, which Merry didn't have. And besides…

"Oh no. This is one thing from canon I want to keep. I'm not missing out on this level of awesome- Ace, go show off!"

"WHAT?!" Wow, I managed to make everyone on the whole ship question my sanity in perfect sync. Beautiful. Grinning, I waved at the approaching galleons.

"Come on Ace. Show Luffy your Devil Fruit. And I wanna see your Striker." Actually… Could Franky build something like that that I could propel with my powers? I'd have to try and remember to ask. Wait- Ace had come with us. Where was his Striker?

"Wha-? How-? You know what, I don't care." Ace shook his head. "I'm confused, I'm still pissed at you, and I need to punch something. Those guys are as good a target as any."

Ace leapt off the rail of the Going Merry, flipping through the air before landing on the answer to my question. The Striker bobbed in the water by one of the nearer piers; I couldn't believe I'd missed it when we'd come in to dock. Quickly untying his craft, Ace shot towards the Billions' galleons with a roar of flame.

Sabo frowned. "Oh no you don't," the blond muttered under his breath, "I'm not letting you have all the fun." The blond turned to Luffy with a small smile. "Hey Lu… I don't suppose you'd like to kick some of these guys' asses with me? It'll be just like old times."

My captain's eyes morphed into the largest, most brilliant stars I'd ever seen; when he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. "Really? I get to fight with Sabo again? This is the BEST DAY EVER!" The rubber boy looped one arm around his blond brother, stretching the other out towards the figurehead of the nearest galleon. "GUM-GUM ROCKET!"

"YAHOO!" Sabo held his hat on with one hand, spinning his staff. "I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH I MISSED THIS!" The pair crashed into the lead galleon with a resounding noise.

Roaring flames died to a simmer as Ace got into position. The freckled pirate was smirking. "I thought you hated it when Luffy did stuff like that as a kid!" he yelled over the rising sounds of a beating. Sabo's head popped into view as the blond punted a dozen men into the air with a swing of his pipe.

"Bite me, asshole!"

"Heh. Looks like someone picked up some language while he was away." Ace drew back his arm with a grin. "Watch this Lu- you're not the only one in the family with powers anymore. FIRE FIST!"

Orange danced across the ocean, flames roaring like a dragon as they soared towards one of the galleons. Ruatha watched with sparkling eyes. A split second later, wood exploded under the force of Ace's attack. Men screamed. Rope and canvas caught fire instantly, with the broken fragments of ship following not long after. The whole galleon was gone within about ten seconds of the freckled pirate launching his punch. Ace smirked at the destruction, pushing his hat back as he glanced over at his brothers.

"Beat that Sabo!"

Blue eyes narrowed. "Oh, I plan to." Sabo knelt on the deck of the ship, his arms turning black with Haki as he clenched his fists. "DRAGON'S BREATH!"

The hull of the ship he was on exploded as shockwaves spread from Sabo's fists. It was like watching my Newton's Second- except Sabo didn't need a Devil Fruit to do that, and I wasn't sure I could match that scale of destruction yet even with mine. Lines snapped; broken pieces of wood flew in every direction as nails flew from their holes. More screaming; the Billions desperately grabbed for pieces of flotsam as they fell into the water. Luffy jumped to the lone remaining galleon with a pout.

"Sabo!" he whined. "Don't sink ships while I'm standing on them! I can't swim!"

"Heheheh. Sorry Lu."

Ace chuckled and leaned on the mast of his Striker. "So, Lu, you gonna leave all the work to us? Or haven't you gotten any stronger since I left home?"

"Ace's mean." Luffy scowled and jumped in the air. "I've gotten loads stronger! Watch this!" My captain stretched one leg high over his head, the limb extending to the limits of his control. "GUM-GUM AXE!"

Wood shattered with a tremendous shattering, splintering noise. The final galleon split in half, a huge chunk blown out of its center. Its passengers, who had been trying to help their companions in the water, were suddenly far more focused on their own wellbeing as the two pieces of their transport sank slowly beneath the waves. Sabo was in the water before Luffy came back down, catching the rubber boy as he fell into the water to prevent him sinking. Ace picked them both up with his Striker, laughing as he raced back towards the Going Merry.

"Well, you've gotten a little better at least," Ace teased as the three climbed aboard. He removed Luffy's hat to ruffle messy black hair; my captain pouted.

"I've gotten loads stronger- Ace is just a meanie who won't admit it." Luffy looked to Sabo for support. The blond laughed.

"You're certainly much stronger than you were when I left," he said placatingly. Luffy wrapped himself around his blond brother with a smile, sticking his tongue out at Ace. The freckled pirate rolled his eyes.

"Don't baby him Sabo. He's a pirate captain now, not the little brat who kept getting eaten by crocodiles."

"But he's still our baby brother." Sabo smiled fondly and hugged Luffy tight. "And he always will be."

Around then, the brothers noticed that almost everyone on the ship was staring at them in disbelief. Usopp leaned over to whisper to Yosaku. "It figures… Of course, the older brothers of a monster would be even bigger monsters." He wasn't as quiet as he thought he was, though, since Ace heard him. A smirk from the freckled pirate sent the gunner scampering behind the green hunter with a squeak.

"So… You're Lu's crew, huh?" Ace scanned us one by one. From his expression, he approved of most, and Usopp's squeaking only seemed to amuse him. He scowled when his eyes passed over me, pausing for a moment… before his gaze inexplicably softened. The only explanation I could think of was that he'd maybe sensed something about me with his Haki that made him feel better. "You're an interesting looking bunch, I'll give you that. And you must be pretty good, to deal with the trouble that follows Lu everywhere."

Ace bowed his head. "Sorry about that. He's always been a bit of a handful- I never managed to break him out of it. And thanks for putting up with him. I know it can't be easy."

"No problem," Zoro said gruffly. Johnny and Yosaku both nodded in agreement.

"Yeah! It's fine- Big Bro's great!"

"A bit of a handful, but he's not the only one." Ghin shot me a significant look. Ace smiled- a proper, soft smile, not a smirk.

"You're good people." Ace leaned back on the rails. Sanji huffed and went to light a cigarette in the ensuing silence; Ace pointed at it and had the tip glowing before the cook could even get his lighter out.

"Heh. Thanks."

Vivi looked at Nami in surprise. "These are Luffy's brothers? But they're so- so…"

"Polite?" the sailing master offered. "Mature?" Vivi nodded mutely.

When no one seemed about to do or say anything else, I opened my mouth to speak. Chopper immediately clapped a hand over it. "No!"

"Uph I mimmp ay ayfing!" Blech. Trying to talk through Chopper's hand just got me a mouthful of reindeer fur. Sweaty reindeer fur.

"You didn't have to. You're not asking Sabo to train you- not when your back's messed up like this." The doctor scowled cutely at me. Ruatha backed him up, huge blue eyes watering as the dragonet stared up at me.

"But dragons!"

"I don't care if it's called Dragon's Breath, you're not training until I say so." Chopper poked my back, sending a jolt of pain through my spine. I glared at him.

"Oi! Since when do you do things like that to patients?!"

"Since I remembered that you're the same patient who snuck out to a hockey game when she could barely move!"

I scowled and looked away. Fine, you win this round Choppy. All around me, people started laughing. Sabo shook his head, grinning broadly. "Sorry Jones. Can't teach anyone that without permission from Dragon; it's his style, after all."

That I understood. Nodding, I turned my face to the horizon, as the Going Merry headed out in search of a concealed bay to drop off those headed for the rebels in Katorea. Splitting the crew, eh? This could turn out really well, or really badly. Oh well, there was only one way to find out. Allons-y.