When Sam arrived at the base for the Halloween festivities around eight in the morning with his Guardian and his girlfriend he heard an awful lot about some new cat that had popped up. Knowing that the base was never so simple and that Ironhide would most likely shoot a cat normally, the teen instantly knew something was up. Bumblebee and Mikaela agreed with him, but as the three had no idea what could be up they quickly brushed it off.
Both Sam and Mikaela were already in their costumes. While he was thoroughly embarrassed and at first had found it awkward to ride in Bee, he knew he could always get Miles back later, and it wasn't all that bad. The shorts were a respectable enough length for him, nothing as short as Mikaela's, and it was amusing how pleased Bumblebee was by the outfits and his cheerleaders.
The first thing the two teens had done was get introduced to Blurr, thankfully without any shaking incidents. Then they went to the rec-room, where Will, Barricade, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and some other soldiers were already in the room.
"So what's this about a stray cat?" Mikaela asked Will.
"Oh, Wheeljack ma—found him," The Captain corrected himself, obviously trying his hardest not to grin. "If you hear a bell anywhere that's probably him. Last I heard his name was Flower, and he was in the med-bay with Ratchet."
"Heard anything about Miles?" Barricade asked, obviously not interested in any cat nonsense. "I haven't seen him since I dropped him off at the lab."
"Oh, uhm, I think he's in the medbay, too." Will replied, snorting with laughter but trying to cover it up with coughs.
Sam and Mikaela gave Will an odd look while Bumblebee and Barricade just shook their heads, walking out of the room with the two teenagers.
"Concerned about Miles?" Mikaela teased Barricade lightly.
Barricade snorted, "Hardly. I was going to have the organic give me a wash and a massage. Hard to do when he's up and disappeared like he has."
Mikaela rolled her eyes, not deigning to give the 'con a proper response to that. They walked to the med-bay, but paused two halls away, where they could already hear the CMO screaming and the sound of things hitting walls that probably shouldn't have been tossed. Sam stopped there, considering suggesting that they come back later, but Mikaela and Bumblebee grabbed him and pushed him onwards.
Upon entering the med-bay it wasn't Ratchet or Wheeljack they noticed first, but Miles. The teen appeared to be glaring a hole in the floor from his perch up on one of the giant berths, a pair of cat ears on his head and a cat tail appearing from behind his back. It slowly clicked that he was the new cat on base, the reason Will had been so amused and the cat's name was Flower. Whiskers had been drawn on his cheeks and he was wearing a pair of cat paw gloves. Sam's mouth dropped open, Mikaela letting out a tiny sound. It wasn't hard for any of them to guess what Ratchet was yelling about after seeing Miles. The medic was mainly yelling in Cybertronian, though he would switch to English and several other languages when he gestured at Miles or when he appeared to be letting out a very long list of expletives.
"Oh, God," Mikaela said when they saw Miles' tail move and the ears twitch when Ratchet said his name, "That's so adorable."
This drew everyone's attention to the newest members of the room, Ratchet stopping his yelling immediately and Wheeljack looking beyond relieved.
"Hey guys," Miles greeted, his voice an odd sort of falsely cheerful none of them had heard before. "Want a good tip? Never let Wheeljack design anything for you."
"It's not that bad!" Wheeljack protested immediately, "If I was any less of a scientist you could be dead right now. I had to directly enable those attachments to insert to your spinal chord and that could have gone wrong in tons of ways!"
Miles didn't look at all cheered by that.
"And tell them how long it will take before we can remove them," Ratchet ordered.
"Oh, that." Wheeljack seemed to visibly deflate, "I never considered that young Miles may want them removed so I did not plan for it initially."
"How hard could it be?" Sam asked, "You put them in. Can't you just do the reverse of whatever and take them out?"
"Oh, he'll figure it out. It'll take some time for him to properly do so where he won't hurt Miles, but the glitch gave Miles specifically tailored nanobots," Ratchet vented sharply, "They're basically our version of your specific cells; we have nanobots that do repairs and help take care of bodily managements and so on. We have far more control over them then you do your own cells, so much so that we can code entirely new ones to perform specific tasks. The glitch did that for Miles. His body accepted them so well that there's a chance they might fight Wheeljack in his removal process."
"Isn't there a possibility his body could fight against them?" Bumblebee asked worriedly before the medic could continue.
Miles looked at Ratchet with wide eyes, the medic just letting out a snort.
"Already checked. As incompetent as Wheeljack can be he wouldn't go and kill him, thankfully." Ratchet replied, turning back to look at Sam. "What the nanobots are coded to do in this case is make sure his body accepts the implants, the nanobots themselves, and that he heals quicker. They've already sped up the progress to whatever damage Wheeljack may have done so that the spinal chord has grown around them and they are quite literally a part of him now."
"I did code all of the nanobots to die after having some minor affects on him," Wheeljack stepped in to explain. "Some will help amp up the creation of rhodopsin in his eye and others will work to improve his eyesight in general. However there was an unexpected development in that his body took more to the nanobots then I expected. Before any of them could terminate themselves like I had coded they managed to reproduce, as with no interference from his body they never went into a protective and non-reproductive mode. The reproduced ones will not follow the coding of the other ones to self-terminate. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if by the end of it they recode themselves and have different jobs then I ever intended for them!"
The scientist sounded almost astounded and oddly happy with that thought.
"Which is exactly why we never tried to figure out how to introduce nanobots into human medicine just yet!" Ratchet growled, smacking Wheeljack over the helm hard. "While the implications of what nanobots could help humans to do is staggering, there's just too many variables for us to properly account for. Every human body has subtle differences which is in stark contrast to our own kind, where only frames differ but not even that much and it is the spark that makes the individual. Adding nanobots into the human anatomy when they already have the capability of recoding themselves after a long time of reproduction is a foolhardy thing to do."
"There will only be a few side effects from the nanobots. Worse comes to worse they go wild and start mutating him." Wheeljack said cheerfully, "But don't worry, we'll offline you before that gets too bad, young Miles."
Bumblebee was probably the only one in the entire room to appreciate the scientist's joking. Miles looked at the mech in horror, ears flattening against his head. Sam and Mikaela were wearing matching wide eyed expressions, mouths open in a small 'o' of shock. Ratchet looked furious, though that had been his expression since they'd entered the med-bay, and Barricade looked annoyed.
"Relax, I was just kidding!" Wheeljack exclaimed, rolling his optics at all of them. "If anything the nanobots will only help Miles. Is it really that terrible if he gets improved sight, better healing capabilities, and a most likely impeccable immune system? I'd say that he's been done a favor."
While Wheeljack was talking Ratchet had moved to pick up a wrench. The scientist continued unaware; the medic tossing it right at his helm when he finished talking. Miles and Sam both visibly flinched at the loud clanging sound it made, then again when Wheeljack crumpled to the ground. Ratchet had offlined him in one hit.
"Glitched in the processor! He has the gall to say the organic's been done a favor? Nothing more than a useless scrap heap..." Ratchet could be heard muttering as he bent down to pick Wheeljack up and put him on a berth. The medic whirled around, gesturing wildly at Miles once more. "You! Get out of here, I'll see what I can do!"
Miles jumped off the berth and quickly hightailed it over to his four friends. They all practically raced out of the room when they saw Ratchet pick up another wrench, even Barricade seeming to fear the medic enough to move a bit faster than his normal pace. But once they made it out into the hall Sam and Mikaela gave Miles a full once over. The teen caught their stares and he struck a pose.
"In the name of the mew I shall punish you!" Miles claimed, even going so far as to actually copy Sailor Moon's pose for when she said her catchphrase.
Mikaela and Sam both started to laugh hard, but Bumblebee and Barricade were just left staring at the three organics in confusion. After a minute passed with Sam and Mikaela still laughing and Miles just grinning at them, the Scout thought it best to ask the teen about the rest of his costume.
"Epps and Jazz caught me," Miles explained with a huff, grin disappearing quickly. "This stuff came from some role-play kink box, and Epps won't give me the key to the collar! I'm more thankful that it hadn't been opened and they only forced the gloves and the collar on me instead of the included dress, but it's still terrible."
"For the love of God!" Sam snickered helplessly, "I don't think I need to get you back for making me a Bee cheerleader anymore."
"I can't believe 'Cade here was actually stupid enough to let you have Wheeljack do anything for you!" Mikaela said, prompting both Sam and Bee to nod in agreement.
"You know, I actually agree with you, 'Kaela." Miles turned to give Barricade an accusing stare, "Why the hell didn't you tell me I was being completely stupid?"
Barricade growled, "Don't blame this on me! The last time I told you not to do something you went and did it anyway and got hurt just like I said you would."
Miles was about to reply when they heard Epps screaming from down the hall. All four turned to look down the hall they had just been walking in as the Sergeant continued to scream. Epps ran straight at them, then past them when they parted enough to let him through. It was then that they saw some large orange mech turn the corner, all of them taking a moment to realize it was Ironhide. They watched as Ironhide tried to shoot at Epps, but all that came out of his cannons were pumpkin guts. Sam started to laugh, though this quickly turned into a fearful squeak as he hid behind Miles when a cannon was pointed in his direction.
"Dude. You're a fucking jack-o-lantern!" Miles laughed, unafraid at the prospect of being blasted with pumpkin guts. In fact, he was wearing a smirk. "I may know of two others who did this to you. Need to make those bastards suffer, I'd say."
Ironhide narrowed his optics, "Who? I assumed he worked with the twins."
"Nope!" Miles replied cheerfully, "Will and Jazz. Will gave them your recharge cycle and helped replace your ammo. Jazz and Epps did your costume. I know because Jazz was telling me all about it when they were forcing me into my own costume."
"Thanks." Ironhide's optics glowed brightly, the mech transforming down into his alt mode and racing down the hall Epps' had disappeared down.
Sam turned to look at Miles. "You know they're slagged, right?"
"Will turned on me." Miles said simply, "Jazz and Epps deserve it, I doubt that needs any explanation. Now I only need to get Prowl."
"Prowl?" Bumblebee asked, raising an optic ridge.
"He approved Wheeljack's idea. I think he was getting me back." Miles replied, already walking away down the hall. Every step made the bell on his collar jingle.
The four followed Miles, pretty sure that Prowl would never have it in him to do something like that. After a minute or two of silence Sam crept up on Miles and reached his hand out to yank on his tail. He snickered when Miles jumped and hissed, turning to glare at him.
"Cat suits you perfectly, bro!" Sam said, grinning.
Miles glared, "And your costume suits you perfectly. I didn't know they were going to put Bee's bee-otch on the side, but it fits."
"I think we both look fabulous!" Mikaela snickered, striking a pose next to her boyfriend. Her costume, however, did not have Bee's bee-otch on the side.
"I have to concur," Bumblebee agreed with a smirk. "I enjoy having my own cheerleaders."
"Too bad we can't go trick or treating like this anymore," Mikaela sighed, "I was gonna have Bee do up his holo, too."
"Wait, why can't we go trick or treating anymore?" Sam asked, feeling stupid when his girlfriend just gave him a look.
"Well, I can't exactly leave base like this," Miles pointed out, "How would I even begin explaining it to my parents? And school's out, too. Can't wear a hat and I doubt the stuff would stay still even if I could cover it. I'd have to say I was some sort of test subject or something! Not to mention I don't think I can ever go to a normal doctor anymore. I'll have to stick with Ratchet or someone on base."
"We'll just come up with some excuse and lie to your parents like normal," Sam said, trying to comfort his friend. From Mikaela's glare and they way Miles' ears were drooping, he figured he had failed spectacularly.
"Don't worry, Ratchet's good and Wheeljack's pretty smart when he has someone to guide him in the right direction." Mikaela assured him, stepping closer and sneaking one of her hands up to Miles' head to stroke at an ear. "They'll be gone quickly. Sam can bring you any homework you have and if you need to talk to your parents just wear a hat and sit on your tail. It'll be no different than one of your usual stays here."
Their conversation continued for a bit, both Cybertronians more than willing to just let Mikaela and Sam handle Miles for the moment. Mikaela seemed quite content to continue to pet Miles, Sam watching in amusement as his best friend tilted his head into the touch without noticing. There was a small pause as Mikaela did something a bit different and Miles' reply faltered to be replaced by an appreciative hum.
Mikaela giggled, "One of those side effects must be purring."
Miles groaned, because while the noise he had made wasn't quite purring, it had sounded close enough for everyone to get a kick out of it.
"Great, I really am a fucking cat!"
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!" Barricade called teasingly, gesturing for Miles to come to him.
Miles just hissed at him.
News of Miles' predicament had spread through the base quickly. No one was sure who started it, but a game of who could sneak up on the teen and pull his tail quickly became popular. It was later blamed on Sunstreaker, though it mainly just resulted in Miles asking to be carried by a Cybertronian a lot to try and avoid being targeted by various humans. By the time the party was really starting Miles had taken up an almost permanent spot by Barricade, knowing the 'con would scare the most annoying people away, though he wouldn't deter the bravest.
Ratchet and Wheeljack both would miss the entire party because they were working on a way to fix Miles. The last thing Ratchet wanted was the boy to be stuck with NEST for the rest of his life because a poor excuse of a scrap heap had thought it a good idea at the time. While Wheeljack had asked permission it was hardly like he had explained everything thoroughly enough to give the teen a chance to actually think and say no, so that didn't win him any brownie points from the medic.
Miles had crossed paths with the mech he really blamed for the incident just once. He almost would have given up blaming him and thought the SIC was innocent and just hadn't understood what Wheeljack had meant, but he caught the slightest of smirks on his faceplates. This resulted in the teen threatening him and the Tactician denying all knowledge of any of his accusations.
Those closer to Miles were half surprised he wasn't freaking out more, but then again they were doing their best to distract him. It helped when the twins called everyone in to the haunted maze they had taken the liberty of making a bit away from the base. They had made the entire thing from crates and boxes, stacked high enough to tower over even the tallest soldier's head. Everyone had to go in on foot, and the Cybertronians had to use their holoforms to make it more fair. Only three were allowed in at a time, and the first three to go were Miles, Barricade, and Sam. Mikaela and Bumblebee both decided to wait and hear whether or not it was worth it
Not even twenty feet from the opening and the 'con already had both Miles and Sam closer to him then they had been previously, Miles even going so far as to hang on to his arm. He wasn't angry about it, though. Even he knew the twins well enough by this point to realize that something would probably go horribly; if they were close to him then he could just get them out easier without being yelled at by the Scout or Ratchet should they end up hurt without his aid.
The start of the maze wasn't that bad. There was the normal few cheap thrills that made up basic haunted mazes. Things popping out at them, a robotic and murderous scarecrow chasing them with a chainsaw deeper into the maze before it disappeared down another branch of it and left them alone, and a miniature replica of Prowl that threatened to throw them in the brig.
"You're almost to the middle, congratulations!" Sideswipe's voice rang out loudly from a speaker hidden somewhere in the wall of the maze, "At the very center of the maze is where our scariest horror awaits, so don't be too alarmed!"
Suddenly wary, the three trekked to the center of the maze slowly. There were miniature replicas of Starscream and Megatron in all their bipedal glory... interfacing. Then directly next to those holograms were fake holoforms of the two Decepticons, giving them human forms to show them having sex. Sam and Miles stared in shock at what they were seeing, trying to comprehend it, and Barricade was torn between shock, anger, disgust, and a very small amount of amusement.
"OH MY GOD, MY POOR INNOCENT EYES!" Sam screamed.
The teen then made the terrible mistake of attempting to run out of the center of the maze, trying to run past the miniature replicas of Starscream and Megatron. Miles watched in horror as the fake Megatron got a chord from... somewhere, he really didn't want to look too closely, and had it go after Sam. His friend's ankle was grabbed and he fell to the ground harshly, being dragged backwards by the wire. Megatron asked Sam very sweetly to join him and Starscream.
Miles turned to Barricade with a horrified look, the 'con just grunting something and turning them both around to leave the way they had came. They could hear Sam screaming something unintelligible as they left him behind, but Miles wasn't too worried about his friend. He could hear Bumblebee shouting at the twins, seeing the Scout enter the maze in his bipedal form. He knew the Scout would rescue Sam. Barricade just didn't care.
Barricade entered the rec-room with Sam, Miles, Mikaela, and Bumblebee; every Cybertronian was in their holoform so they could fit inside of it. Besides them there was Maggie, Will, Epps, Jazz, Optimus, Ironhide, Blurr, Fig, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and a few other army personnel that he couldn't bother to think of names for. There was plenty of high grade energon for the Cybertronians to drink and alcoholic beverages for the humans. The room was full of decorations for Halloween.
Ironhide had decided to go as a pumpkin even in his holoform, Sam and Mikaela were still 'cheerleaders' for Bumblebee, Bumblebee himself was a wearing a shirt that called him Captain Bumblebee, Will was a knight, Epps was dressed as a devil, Jazz was Yoda, Blurr was a farmer, Fig was a Spanish conquistador, Barricade had gone as the expected police man, and Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were each other. Maggie and Optimus were the only two in the room who hadn't bothered with an outfit of any kind.
The energon provided for the Cybertronians was high grade, the closest thing they had to alcohol. All of the mechs had to drink it outside of the rec-room, but even the inexperienced Blurr had no problem splitting his consciousness enough to do that while using his holoform to play Maggie in chess.
All of the humans, including the teens, indulged in a few alcoholic drinks. Epps had argued their case, stating that Mikaela was already eighteen and both Sam and Miles would be turning that age soon. They were around people and 'bots capable of supervising them and it would make it less likely that they'd go out and try it on their own and do something stupid. No one had bothered to argue with the Sergeant, though it helped quite a bit when even Sam admitted to having been at least slightly intoxicated before because of his own family, Miles and Mikaela not being nearly as hesitant as he had been about it.
Halfway through the night and Epps, Fig, and Will were varying degrees of drunk. Mikaela was slightly tipsy and Sam was revealed to be a lightweight, where Miles hardly touched any alcohol offered to him and chose instead to stick mainly to water. Barricade, like Miles, wasn't drinking much of the Cybertronian version of alcohol. It appeared that Bumblebee, Blurr, and Sideswipe were lightweights, too. Blurr actually slowed down, though, which was a blessing for everyone around him.
Sam was still upset after the twin's latest prank and he had been avoiding touching Mikaela like the plague, as if just a touch could remind him of what he had seen. This meant that Bumblebee was stuck in the middle between the two of them, Mikaela cuddling against his side and pouting that her boyfriend wouldn't even hold her hand.
The two teens were cheered when Sideswipe decided that going around the room and everyone taking a turn to admit something about themselves that no one else knew was a good idea. Ironhide, who was completely drunk by then, revealed that he and Annabelle played pretty princess and that he quite enjoyed it. He had then gotten angry when everyone and mech in the room had laughed at him, causing Will and Optimus to physically drag his holoform out of the room and the Prime to order him to go to bed.
"Alright," Epps said, still snickering. "The younguns, then! You've all had something to drink before, any good stories?"
Mikaela rolled her eyes, "I will remind you that I am one of the Queens of my high school, Bobby. I've been to quite a few parties, but I've not done anything too stupid. Just a lot more dancing then I'd do normally."
"My mom used to do Tequila Thursdays," Sam added in, "Well, before she gave up alcohol for lent two years ago, anyway. She was always of the opinion that if I tried it with her then I was less likely to go off somewhere and die trying to try it because I was curious and hadn't tried it with her."
"Does that include..." Epps trailed off meaningfully. Those who didn't catch on what he was referring to would have been those that would have objected to it, anyway.
"I'm not admitting anything," Sam replied.
"Your mom's a seriously scary lady," Epps laughed, turning to Miles. "And what about you?"
"I was the thing Judy feared Sam doing," Miles replied with a deep sigh. "Made a friend called Rick in middle school and he had some awesome high school connections. Went to a party and I drank way too much. Don't even remember most of the night it was that much, all I know is I woke up half naked in some random chick's house with a nasty hangover and a sharpie dick on my forehead. Spent the rest of the day hiding out there and puking my guts out so I wouldn't get in trouble at home. Dumped Rick as a friend pretty quickly after that point, but I'm still friends with the chick."
"You never told me that!" Sam accused, sounding offended.
"Well we are supposed to be telling everyone something they don't know about us," Miles shrugged. "Outside of that I'm pretty much an open book. Give me some secrets!"
Sam laid off at that point, everyone else slowly revealing something about themselves. Most stuck with simple things, like Bumblebee admitting he had ever only lost two actual battles. One was when he was up against Megatron and ended up getting his vocalisor ripped out, the other had been a battle of wills against Sam's mother that the Scout had quickly lost. He wasn't too ashamed to admit that he was whipped by the entire Witwicky family.
Once everyone had revealed something suitable about themselves, Bumblebee had challenged Barricade to a drinking contest. Almost everyone vacated the room to watch their bipedal modes go at it, the two similarly-framed mechs trying to go drink for drink. Of course, that meant Barricade had to drink quite a bit in the first place just to catch up with Bumblebee, but the 'con proved himself to be just as tough as he looked, eventually besting the Scout and showing that he was able to hold his high grade just a bit better than Bee.
Later on in the night when most of the people had gone to sleep or just left the rec-room, the remaining humans and mechs there had decided to make their own game. It was a mix of spin the bottle, the card kissing game, chicken, and seven minutes in heaven. If the person couldn't transfer the card to the person next to them successfully then the two had to play the kissing version of chicken. If one of them was chicken then they'd lose and the braver would win, if both kissed then they had to make out for three minutes in front of all the others. The two people that were participating were chosen by a spinning bottle.
The only people and Cybertronians left in the room to play the game sat in a circle; going clock wise it was Sam, Bumblebee, Barricade, Miles, Epps, Jazz, Will, Sideswipe, Maggie, and then back to Sam. Sideswipe had a camera to record everything, even if most of the Cybertronians there would remember it all anyway. All of them were at varying degrees of intoxication, which was probably the only reason some of them had agreed to it in the first place. Only two of them were completely sober at that point, that being Miles and Jazz, and they had agreed because it sounded like a fun idea that could lead to even funnier things.
To Miles' pleasure, and the amusement of everyone else, Barricade was much like Mikaela when he was drunk in that he seemed to appreciate touch a whole lot more. He had practically forced the teen to be glued to his side; now the teenager was leaning against Barricade, tail wrapped around the Decepticon Neutral's wrist and head leant on his shoulder. Barricade was running one simulated hand through Miles' hair, occasionally stroking one of the ears, and seeming to take an odd sort of enjoyment from when the teen would obligingly let out a fake purr for him.
The first pair up was Epps and Will, and while trying to transfer the card to Epps' lips Will dropped it. This then turned it to the chicken part of the game, the Captain pulling away first. Triumphant, Epps had shouted happily and kissed the captain anyway, turning to the camera that Sideswipe was holding and saying if Sarah was jealous he'd kiss her too.
Next was Sam and Bumblebee, the two actually managing to pass the card between themselves without dropping it, much to the disappointment of several others in the room.
"Aw, me 'n 'Kaela have been dyin' to see you two kiss!" Maggie exclaimed, not out right drunk, but tipsy enough to say a few stupid things. She quickly shut her mouth when Bumblebee shot her an amused look, blushing in embarrassment.
After that was Will and Maggie and they managed to pass the cards to each other as well. Next came Sideswipe and Jazz, Jazz 'accidentally' letting the card drop. Sideswipe pulled away first and grumbled something under his breath in Cybertronian, causing Jazz to smirk. After that Jazz had to go again, though this time he was paired with Bumblebee. The card was dropped by the Scout and as both didn't back down they kissed, though the group came to a unanimous agreement that they didn't need to do the full three minutes as they were both just too calm about it.
Barricade watched it all with an amused smirk, continuing to basically pet Miles even while the human shifted and occasionally laughed. When the bottle went from him to Miles the two stood, the teen placing the card on his lips and doing his best to keep it there.
Miles walked the few steps to Barricade, more steady then most of the others had been in his sober state. He was already leaning in close to the Decepticon Neutral when the card fell from his lips and he froze, tail twitching back and forth apprehensively as he stared directly into the holoform's eyes.
"CHICKEN!" Epps yelled from off to the side, grinning as Sam, Bumblebee, Jazz, Will, and Sideswipe started to chant the word.
Barricade sent a glare at all of them, leaning in towards Miles as Miles leaned in towards him. It was very obvious the teen didn't expect the 'con to go so far, the two only an inch apart when Miles seemed to realize that Barricade wasn't going to back off and that he should instead. Just before he went to take a step back, Barricade got the hint that he was going to give in, and in a testament to just how drunk the 'con was, he grabbed Miles' face and pulled him in for a kiss anyway.
Miles laughed, attempting to shove the 'con away even as a cheer started up from those still sitting in the circle, Epps proclaiming Barricade the winner. Barricade was more than satisfied by that, just sitting back down in his original spot.
Miles turned to Maggie, determined to embarrass someone as much as he had just been embarrassed. "You gotta pay up. Said you'd give me fifty bucks if Barry and I kissed, remember?"
"I-I…" Maggie stuttered, eyes widening in a mixture of embarrassment and horror as her face heated up when half of the circle looked at her in shock. "Sit down and shut up, I'll pay you later!"
"Okay!" Miles snickered cheerfully, satisfied in the hacker's thorough embarrassment.
He resumed his place by Barricade, watching with interest as the next two to go were Jazz and Epps.
The Sergeant dropped the card when he stumbled drunkenly towards the Saboteur. The two stared each other down during the chicken part, both too stubborn and one just a little too drunk to back down. They kissed, Jazz remaining calm while Epps seemed to be battling himself as much as he was the mech to continue it and win. The entire game and they were the only two to go the entire three minutes without either backing off during the make out session, resulting in a tie and making them the winners of the game altogether.
Shortly after they stopped playing the five humans fell asleep. Miles took up most of one couch, head in Barricade's lap and using the mech's holoform as a pillow. The 'con only allowed it because of the high grade in his system and the fact that he was already in a light recharge, only just managing to keep his holoform going. Will and Epps were sharing a lazy boy recliner, the two sleeping with their heads crooked at an awkward angle. Maggie got an entire couch to herself, Sam sharing the third one with Bumblebee.
Jazz, Sideswipe, and Bumblebee had all left their holoforms in the rec-room, but sent their main consciousness to their actual body so they could do other things. That was why, a few hours later, Fig was able to enter the rec-room and find it full of what he thought to be sleeping humans and mechs in their holoforms.
And there, in the middle of the ground, was a camera. Fig picked it up and glanced through it, unable to stop himself from laughing and waking all of the others up.
"Well, well, well," Fig drawled, smirking as he held the camera up. "You lot had some fun last night, hmm?"
Miles and Sam just gave a tired groan in unison, one teen burying his head back down into Barricade's lap, while the other put his hands over his ears. Sideswipe, Bumblebee, and Jazz all returned to their holoforms with clear processors, staring at Fig in mild shock as they registered what he had said and what he had. Then Sideswipe growled, standing and running after the laughing soldier.
Of course, the peace after Fig left the rec-room didn't last very long. Barricade had woken up and now that he was awake enough to not only recognize what was going on but remember the night before as well, he pushed Miles straight off the couch and onto the ground, causing the teen to give a pained yelp of surprise.
It was the day after Halloween. Prowl was in his office, working to make sure that the Autobots and several of the soldiers had orders to clean up whatever celebrations were still around from the night before. He ignored one of the tiny civilian organics entering his office at first, but when he didn't respond to the organic he climbed up onto his desk and stood on it with arms crossed impatiently.
With a sigh, he finally put his data pad down to look at Miles. "What do you want?"
"A temporary alliance." Miles replied to the question, sitting down on the edge of the desk now that he had the mech's attention.
"A..." Prowl didn't seem to believe what he had heard, "A what?"
"I know this was your idea," Miles sighed, pointing to the cat ears perched on top of his head. The tail spoke for itself as it moved around behind his back.
"But-" Prowl began, only to be cut off by the human.
"Now, I am assuming that you didn't know all the specifics about what Jack was gonna do. Cuz if you did then I'd be seriously pissed, but while I do have to rethink my idea of you not getting payback in any ways I will still hold to the belief that you wouldn't do it in a way that was prolonged and actually detrimental to me." Miles waved a dismissive hand, Prowl just nodding after a moment. "However, the fact remains that I am now stuck with these things on me and with nanobots inside of me. I was already planning ways to make you suffer, but after what Sideswipe and Sunstreaker did yesterday I would rather team up with you."
"For what, exactly?" Prowl asked, thrown for a loop as his logic processor tried to figure out just what Miles was talking about.
"I've heard stories of how annoying the twins are for you," Miles stated, grinning. "And they got Sam yesterday. While it was very amusing, Sam's my territory, and it's just not nice that they seriously put him off any fun time with Mikky for at least two weeks. If they're getting bold enough to mess with humans, then I think its time that humans messed back."
Prowl was silent for a moment as he studied Miles. Slowly he turned off his data pad, then he got up and made sure the door was locked so that no one would interrupt them.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Something drawn out, that would really mess with their brai—err, I mean processors." Miles said, "I was kind of hoping that you'd be able to figure something out with that huge processor of yours."
Prowl gave that some thought, carefully going over any incidents he could recall the twins being in. One in particular stuck out to him, an event where the twins had been on an organic planet that had possessed fire breathers that had nearly killed them both after they had destroyed some honored temple. It was somewhat amusing to think back on now, the organics on that planet had looked remotely similar to what a human might call a dragon.
"Earth is still new to them," Prowl stated after a moment. "There are a lot of superstitions and folk lore on this planet. There was an incident on a previous planet where they destroyed a treasured temple and were nearly offlined for it, I imagine if we do something similar here then they will react without much thought. Perhaps we should go for something a bit more supernatural, some sort of human spirits, I'd say. It would be easier to control what happened to them and keep it going on base, as well."
Miles laughed, "You really are more evil than you seem!"
"Don't tell the Prime," Prowl replied with some amusement, picking the teen up and sitting back down at his desk. "Now, I believe we have some research to do."
He settled the teen on his shoulder, making it so that he had a good view as he re-activated his datapad, the teen now able to see what was on it as well. And research they did. The two stayed together locked up in that room from a little after breakfast until it was almost dinner time, both skipping lunch in favor of working on their plan. As they were in the United States they mainly focused on legends that had started in the surrounding lands, researching a lot of Native American folk lore, stories from early settlers, and the like. It wasn't until they reached one particular story that they really started to talk again.
"This is why emotions are tedious and illogical," Prowl vented softly. "Had she not let her emotions dictate her then her entire tribe would still be alive."
Miles glanced up at the SIC, "You really think emotions are illogical?"
"Yes," Prowl replied.
"But..." The teen thought of how to say what he wanted, "If we lose someone then it is only natural to feel bad about that loss, isn't it? Emotions help dictate what we want to do and give us purpose. Like pleasing the one we love or doing a hobby we enjoy."
"I am dictated by logic and nothing else, Miles."
"You work so hard because you want to protect all the Autobots, don't you?" Miles asked, "They're your family, your friends. You love them. You show it in all of your rules to protect them and to keep some of them sane and from offlining or alienating the others. I'm sure that if you didn't have so many rules to keep Sunny and Sides in check they'd act up a lot more and that would end badly in how they're treated. That's not logic. Stopping them from annoying others when they do no serious harm is useless and a waste of time, isn't it? But you found them and helped to train them and took a shine to them, that's why you deal with all of the trouble they cause now. You're just as ruled by emotions as the rest of us."
"Fair enough, but that is very obvious, I suppose."
"No, it really isn't." Miles sighed, "Because half of the soldiers are convinced you're emotionless and literally just a robot and the most of the rest of the humans on the base agree that you're just a prick in general."
"I am not a human-"
"Slang."
"Oh." A slight pause as he looked it up, "That's a rather rude term."
"And you don't really think human's are worth much."
Prowl was going to protest, but read the look on the teen's face. "I... it is perhaps not as extreme as you make it sound."
"You see us as a stepping stone," Miles hissed, before taking a deep breath to calm himself. "I can see why. We have short lifespans. Outside of a select few soldiers none of us are even affecting you or the Autobots that much, it's higher up. And seeing why is one reason I sought you out."
"So this isn't just to get back at the twins?"
"Not just, no." Miles shrugged a bit, "Because us humans ain't really seeing you as being worth much right now, either, and a lot of it just has to do with your attitude. But you really surprised me with this Wheeljack thing. It was completely unlogical, completely dictated by just wanting to get me back. So I thought I'd give you a chance and try to work you up to the big leagues."
Prowl gave him an annoyed look, "And what are the big leagues?"
"Improving Autobot opinion of you."
"Autobot opinion of me is just fine."
"Is it?" Miles asked sarcastically, "Because last I saw Ironhide says about five words to you and leaves."
"I..." Prowl gave what the teen was saying some serious thought, "Perhaps you are right. I noticed the correlation myself, between Ironhide's coldness and Will's ire towards me. And I have to admit they both have reason to be angry after my slip up in Oklahoma, though I was hoping Ironhide would get over it. But why have you decided to help me? If anything you should be angry about what Wheeljack and I did to you."
Miles shrugged, "Like I said, I can understand why you're not warm to humans. Doesn't mean I agree with your treatment of us, but I had to deal with it from Barricade initially, and though he has trouble actually calling us friends I think it's obvious that we are. I believe you just need to actually associate with humans on your own and you'll warm up to us."
"...Perhaps."
"And besides, I need something to do while I'm stuck on base indefinitely," Miles pointed out, and the SIC felt just a little bit bad about it. He hadn't know that Wheeljack was going to go so far.