Hello, again! I've been thinking about this story a lot recently and how it still remains unfinished years later. I haven't written any fiction since the last update of this story in 2017. Hopefully there are readers on here thinking about the fate of Katniss and Merrick. If you are still here reading and want more, leave a review. I'd love to hear from you. If you are new to this story, welcome and I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 43
I wake up as the sun rises, as if my body knows brevity of my time left in District 12. A sense of urgency rushes through me and I wake up Merrick to record more information about his mother: first name, date of birth, hair and eye color…anything that will help in my search at the Capitol. I'm sure I'll need something to keep my mind preoccupied. This time is going to be different. I'm quiet for too long and my gaze hasn't waivered. Merrick's touch brings me back.
"Katniss." he murmurs as fingers brush my shoulder.
"It will be hard to go back."
"You'll have Haymitch." he reassures me.
"Yeah that's—" I cut myself off from the harsh thing I'm about to say. Haymitch has done a lot more for me that I could have ever expected based on the first train ride to the Capitol.
"He will protect you."
"I know. How about I make you breakfast?" I ask lightening the mood. He nods. I take a quick shower and put on some clothes before exiting the room. He tries to follow me but I insist he stays upstairs. I need a few minutes to myself before the hustle and bustle of the day. I grab what I need from the refrigerator and start my prep work. Prim quietly slips into the room and makes sure I see her before sleeping.
"Gale's calling for you." she states.
"What does he want?" I ask her, not really wanting to see him.
"I don't know." she says before leaving the room. She returns a minute later. "He wants to say goodbye."
"I'm busy right now." I reply as I scramble the eggs. She leaves and returns yet again.
"He said it's important."
"Everything he says is important." I mutter. I see Prim start to leave and shout out, "Don't tell him that." She stops.
"What should I say?" I don't know what she should say. I'm tired of having the same conversation with Gale.
"Tell him to get some rest." She leaves and I quickly finish what I'm doing and make my way back to my room. Merrick has fallen asleep. I gently stroke his hair and whisper his name. He smiles warmly and pulls me closer. "Can't you come with me?" I ask, an impossible request.
"I wish I could."
"Will you stop by and check in on Prim?" I ask. He nods and I thank him. He suggests eating while the food is still warm. We are both quiet as we usually are when one of us has to leave. I study his face and notice the apprehension.
"What is it?"
"When I think of you leaving, it brings back bad memories. Both times I had to watch you leave, you had to go to the Games."
"This time is different." I say, taking both his hands in mine. "It's only training and then I get to come home…hopefully with answers that will allow us to be together." He smiles at my response and goes back to eating. We keep conversation light until it's time for me to get ready. At least this time, I don't have to be made up before going to the train station. Before we exit the room, I stop Merrick to say our goodbyes. I tell him I'll miss him and he returns the sentiment before his lips meet mine. I hold onto every moment knowing this will be our last kiss until my return. I am the one that ends it.
"I can't be late." I whisper, gazing at him. He nods gives me a brief kiss. I can't help but smile at his gesture. Merrick helps with my suitcase and we descend to the front hallway. My sister and mother are talking to Haymitch as they wait for me. I catch Haymitch's smirk as he watches us but choose to ignore it. Merrick says bye to Prim before exiting through the back of the house. Haymitch says he'll wait on the porch.
"Stay safe." my mother says, giving me a hug.
"I will." I mutter. This still seems like a formality. I haven't figured out how to become closer to her. Maybe I can fix that when I get back. She loosens her embrace and walks away leaving Prim and I alone.
"I'll miss you." she says, clutching onto me.
"I'll miss you, too. Don't worry, nothing bad can happen to me this time." I tell her with a smile.
"I know. Its just 7 days is a long time."
"Before you know it, I'll be back and you can fill me in about everything I missed…and you'll have Merrick to keep you company." This brings a big smile to her face. I give her one more hug before heading to the door.
"What about Gale?" she asks as I reach for the door handle.
"What about him?" I ask.
"You should say goodbye to him, too. You know he'd be out here waiting for you if he could." I'm not so sure he would after last night. Before I can make my way to his room, I see Effie appear, telling me we need to leave now if we want to make it to the train station in time. I breathe a sigh of relief and tell Prim to tell Gale that I said goodbye.
We make our way to the train station without much fanfare. This is the way I prefer it. There will be plenty of times in the Capitol when I'll have to put on an act. We start the train ride with breakfast. Even though I already ate at home, I know this isn't optional. I sit with Effie and Haymitch in our usual spots and can't help but notice the empty seat next to me. Haymitch takes a long swig of his drink and Effie is blubbering while trying to pull together her emotions.
"He really was the best of us." she says, trying to be positive. I nod. I then ask Effie about the schedule which seems to perk her up. She says our time in the Capitol will start with a welcome dinner tomorrow evening, followed by training sessions throughout the week. She also mentions something about a ball half way through our stay.
"A ball? Why?" I ask confused.
"For the Captiolites." Effie interjects. "They'll want to meet the new mentors."
"Won't they just use the mentors from last year?" I inquire.
"No, I heard new mentors were being selected from each District. Last year's mentors were fill-in for those that were reaped." Effie says, her voice filled with sadness by the end of her statement. She's thinking of those we had lost too. Seeing that it's only me and Haymitch, I assume the role of cheering her up.
"Do we know how many new mentors there are? Or their names?" I ask.
"Look who's interested now." Haymitch says with a chuckle. He's right. I'm way more interested in what Effie is saying than she has ever said before.
"We should be prepared." I tell Haymitch. I look over and see Effie downright giddy.
"Well, I'm glad someone is taking initiative. Nobody knows who the new mentors are. They won't be announced to the public until the ball. I heard President Snow and the Gameskeepers have been meeting to create a new line up."
I wonder who they will be. Will they be Capitol favorites or will he punish victors that have fallen out of favor with him with this arduous task. Some might be the only living victors left in their district like Haymitch and me. After breakfast, we watch a little TV. Claudius Templesmith and Caesar Flickerman are speculating about mentors and photos flash on the screen. When I grow tired of hearing the latest Capitol gossip, I excuse myself from the car. Before I leave, Effie says she has something for me and instructs me to walk with her to her compartment. I stand in the doorway while she sifts through her belongings and returns with a small book. "If you really want to be prepared, study this." she says before walking away.
I walk back to the last train car before opening the pages. It's a book of all the Hunger Games victors. I open the book at the last page and decide to work my way back, knowing the victors from the first Hunger Games are likely no longer alive. I find a picture of me with a short biography about my time in the games. I don't bother to read it. I turn back a page and this time Peeta's picture is next to mine. The text talks about the star-crossed lovers of District 12. Tears fall as I think about his demise. I should have been looking for force fields after Beetee told me about them in training. I could have saved him.
I turn the page back once more after refocusing on what my original task is. I recognize the next victor…the Career from 1 that killed Merrick's friend Galen in the finale. My body cringes as flashbacks from that attack play through my mind. No alliances will be made with him, I note to myself while turning the page.
Next, is a male tribute from District 2. I stare at his picture and repeat his name a few times to make a connection before reading the paragraphs to the right. He made Hunger Games history as winning in the shortest amount of time and having the highest number of kills. He sounds ruthless and wonder if Merrick could have turned out like this if he hadn't spent time in other districts.
Before his is Johanna's profile. I miss her too. She was the last person I thought I'd want to have as an ally in the Games but her sacrifices help saved me. My lips lift into a brief grin when I think about what I wouldn't give for one of her speeches about her disdain for the Capitol.
Another page back is Annie Creta's picture and I find myself shaking, with a flashback of her death after she attacked me on stage during the Victory Tour. I mutter what Haymitch told me after it happened: It wasn't your fault. To this day, I still can't fully believe that. The next few victors are new to me each one from different districts. I once again study their faces and read their biography. Flipping the page back once more leaves me staring at a face I am still not ready to look at. His green eyes sparkle and his enticing smile lures me in. My breath hitches when I think about how the Quarter Quell was really his to win. He was the favorite, not me.
The next few pages include other victors that didn't make it out the Quarter Quell alive. A dozen pages later I'm on Haymitch's page. The photo they used of him was from his Games. I've only seen one photo of him before when he was young and it was rather grainy. This photo illustrates his good looks. I wonder if he could have had the same kind of following as Finnick if he had charmed the Capitol crowds instead of criticizing them. As I read the text, I can't ignore the similarities between our games. We both managed to escape run-ins the Career tributes, followed by an alliance with our district partners. We both failed at trying to save someone special to us in the arena. I never should have left Rue alone.
More pages reveal other victors that passed in the Quell followed by the original victors of the Hunger Games, which I didn't bother to read. Mags was by far the oldest surviving victor before the Quell. The others had succumbed to deaths related to the aftereffects of the games. By the time I'm done studying, I realize it's almost time for lunch and make my way back to Haymitch and Effie.
"15 minutes early." Effie says with a smile, noting my punctuality. Haymitch is also at the table nursing a drink however he doesn't appear to be drunk. Maybe he decided to take Effie's advice to be on his best behavior this trip. I sit down in my chair and rest the book on the table. Haymitch leans forward to catch the title at the top of book and raises his eyebrows.
"A little light reading, sweetheart?" he asks before taking a swig of his whiskey. I smirk back at him.
"Trying to figure if there's anyone worth forming an alliance with." I reply.
"Who are the lucky ones this time?" he laughs. I know he's mocking me, referencing my alliance choices for the Quell. I shrug my shoulders.
"Maybe you can figure it out. You knew what you were doing last time." I say as I push the book closer to him. As he flips through I see his expression change from a look of confidence to a look of guilt as he flips through photos of victors lost. He closes the book and rests it back on the table. His eyes are fixated on he book I know he's keeping secrets. He's never this quiet. Before I can ask, Effie joins us and breaks Haymitch out of his daze. I've lost my chance; he will never tell me in front of her. As much as Effie is an ally, she will never truly understand the cost of surviving the Hunger Games.