Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, walked in to the meeting room and had to fight the urge to walk right back out. He knew it would be loud, since he could hear them all the way down the hall, but on his list of things he wanted to do today having this meeting wasn't one of them.
One of his Autobots, a mech designated Huffer, had just landed. Huffer had obviously gotten the message he'd sent up into space, but when he had landed he had been much too damaged and was leaking out energon too fast for Ratchet to reach him. In an odd twist of events Will had been there, apparently having decided that taking the base's four civilian teenagers out to try to get them to bond was a smart idea. The Captain was able to provide the mech some company and comfort; with Mikaela and Miles there they been able to do what little they knew how to help try to prolong the mech's life.
As it would turn out, Miles knew just enough to take away some of the mech's pain, too. Ratchet, of course, had needed to have a long talk with both Barricade and Miles after he'd found out that the teen had known how to force his way to some access ports and turn off pain receptors, but it had been useful at the time. Optimus had been there for the talk. Barricade had been unapologetic and the teen had just looked between all of them before shrugging and walking out.
Perhaps it was that loss that had spurred him into calling the impromptu meeting. The death had already been discussed at large, Prowl and he coming to an agreement that what energy was left in the Allspark shard would not be used to resurrect the mech, and a memorial service was already planned to honor him. As much as the Prime had liked Huffer on a personal level the mech wasn't that important to the Autobot cause in the long run; they had to reserve what energy they had because they had no idea what the future held.
The Prime took his seat at the head of a large, Cybertronian sized, table. To his left was Barricade, who appeared to be arguing with Miles. After listening in for a moment he put his face mask down to hide his smile. Miles was attempting to get Barricade to take him to something called a concert, the 'con refusing. To his right was Ratchet, the medic was talking to Prowl and berating him for not getting enough recharge. Prowl had Maggie and both were steadily ignoring Ratchet. Bumblebee was sitting next to Barricade. He had Sam with him and the poor boy still look embarrassed. Just earlier that morning Miles had sent everyone a video of his friend lap dancing, saying that the base needed a good laugh after Huffer's loss. Blaster, who had Glen, was sitting next to Jazz, who had Epps. The four appeared to be in a heated debate about music. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were sitting side by side, Sunstreaker talking to Fig in Spanish. Besides that there was also Trailbreaker, Wheeljack, Blurr, First Aid, Ironhide, and Inferno. Will, of course, was with Ironhide, discussing which weapon would be better in what situation. They also had Trent and Mikaela with them.
He made a sound akin to a human cough, using it to get everyone's attention. Once all eyes and optics were turned towards him he felt it safe to begin.
"I have called everyone to this meeting because it has been brought to my attention that we may still not have a complete understanding of each other," The Prime stated. "In light of Huffer's death, I thought it best that we try to connect more to reunify after a hard loss. Ratchet, if you would."
"This is only the first meeting in a series of meetings. Today we will be discussing family and death. Prowl, you can go." Ratchet nodded in Prowl's direction.
"Yes, well, as most of you know the Allspark was the source of where our sparks came from. The creators, your parents, would personally make their sparkling's body themselves before receiving the spark. Now, there are cases of some of our kind being blessed enough to be able to create sparks without the aid of the Allspark, and they shall be referred to as femmes. These Cybertronians are generally of a smaller frame type and do not live as long as the rest of us do, the strain of holding so much energy becoming too much after a few vorns. A spark made by a femme, be it with another femme or a mech, will not be able to make another spark, so therefore will always be a mech. There is a huge difference in the femme to mech ratio, which is why our concepts of gender, and gender based relationships, are different. It is more normal for a mech to be with another mech than a mech to be with a femme on Cybertron. Each sparkling has a special bond with their creators, enabling them to know where the sparkling is, how the sparkling is doing, and so on. These bonds stay in place usually until the sparkling is moved into an older frame, sometimes a youngling or sometimes even older, occasionally your version of a teenager. Just because two creators might raise more than one spark does not make the sparklings siblings. They are not related. The closest things to siblings we have is the twins. An occurrence like theirs is rare, when one spark splits into two, and it often results in the death of the two sparks. If they are able to be placed in two frames fast enough then the two will live, but they will always need to be near each other. …Epps, how could you possibly have a question?" Prowl asked, sounding exasperated as he looked at the Sergeant that had raised his hand.
"Birds and the bees." Epps grinned. "NOT IT!"
"NOT IT!" Miles, Sam, Mikaela, Glen, Will, Fig, and even Trent chimed in seconds after. They all turned to look at Maggie.
"W-what!" Maggie sputtered. "That is ju- That's just not fair! I don't want to give them The Talk!"
"Wha's wrong with talkin' to us, Mags?" Jazz asked, the only Cybertronian willing to voice their confusion, though it was obvious the rest were confused too. Only Bumblebee knew the mysterious rules of the 'Not It', and even he didn't know why it was being used.
"No, Jazzy baby, The Talk. Two capital T's." Epps explained as it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Also, The Three A's. NOT IT!"
Maggie yelled not it almost directly afterwards, with Will, Glen, Fig, Trent, and Mikaela following right after. Sam and Miles looked confused; the two had been helping Wheeljack give the Dinobots a bath and were out of the loop.
"What's The Three A's?" Miles asked.
"Abortion, abandonment, and abu-" Epps was saying, when Sam cut him off with a loud 'not it!'.
Miles cursed, "Slag! Maggie, I'll trade you The Three A's for The Talk."
"Oh no," Maggie said. "I'm suddenly very happy with The Talk."
Prowl made a coughing sound to draw their attention. "We do know how humans reproduce."
"I'm home free then. Looks like its up to you, Miles." Maggie smirked.
Miles glowered, "Ugh, fine, leave the teenager to do the adult's work. Who here, besides me, doesn't just have biological parents or parent raising them?"
"Me." Trent replied. Maggie, Sam, Mikaela, Fig, Will, Glen, and Epps saying nothing.
"Okay, step-parent or what?" Miles asked.
Trent just grunted in confirmation, causing Miles to roll his eyes. He carefully climbed down from his spot on Barricade's shoulder, and stood in the 'con's hand. He grinned.
"Okay, class, we will begin with parents, or as you Cybertronians would call them, creators. There is more than one type of creator for a human, so we will start off with biological. Now, can anyone tell me what a biological creator is?" Miles seemed completely ready and willing to act as if he was teaching a class, waiting until a Cybertronian raised their hand.
Ratchet did so, and Miles called on him with a grin. "A biological creator is one who actually is related to the sparkling, or child in this case. If it is the mother they provided the egg and half of the DNA, and if it is the father they provided the sperm and other half of the DNA."
"Correct! Now, the first thing we will go over is adoption. This means, for some reason, a sparkling's biological creators are either no longer with it, are not deemed fit, or can not care for them, and they are placed in facilities designed to house kids who are waiting to be adopted. Adopting a sparkling means you legally become the sparkling's creators, and the biological creators no longer have any real say to it. Any questions?"
There was no answer, leading Miles to believe that there was no questions.
Miles couldn't stop the smirk from coming on to his face, "Okay, now here's a real life example. My biological femme creator died, causing my biological femme creator's creators to adopt me, which means they are my legal creators. That makes my biological femme creator my legal sister. Got that?"
"How the frag does that work out?" Ironhide growled. "What happened to your biological father?"
"I was a whoops baby. He disappeared." Miles explained, forgetting they wouldn't understand his terminology.
"He wha'? Tha's awful, mah man. We should look for 'im!" Jazz said, and Bumblebee nodded in agreement.
All of the humans suddenly looked varying degrees of awkward, glancing at each other and then back to the Cybertronians. Miles attempted to regain their attention, but they just continued in their plans.
"GUYS!" Sam yelled, gaining their attention quickly. "No."
Miles rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well, class, this brings us to our first two a's. Abortion. When I said I was a whoops baby I meant I wasn't planned. My biological creators had sex without ever meaning for me to come up. My mech creator was pressing my femme creator for abortion. Abortion is… well it kills the sparkling while it's still in the womb. The sparkling never gets the chance to even live."
There was stunned silence around the table, as if the Cybertronians had never heard of something quite like that idea before.
"If you can't guess my femme creator was against it, and lil ol' annoying me is here to talk face to, er, metal with all of you today." Miles said after a moment, trying to break the sudden tension.
It didn't work, though. The teen sighed, sharing a look with Sam. He knew his friend was thinking along the same lines as he was. The Cybertronians just seemed so much more perfect compared to them, sometimes. There was no cheating, when two Cybertronians got together that meant they were sparkmates and would literally be unable to leave each other. It also seemed like they didn't have abortion, but then again they mostly had to use some giant cube thing to make their babies, so that wasn't too much of a surprise.
"I can see why he disappeared then." Barricade growled after a moment, "Your femme creator must have killed him for such thoughts."
Miles laughed, "Sorry, Barry, but no. That brings us to our second a of this little real life example, abandonment. When my femme creator refused to abort my mech creator left. Meaning he quit the relationship, quit her, refused to accept me, support us, etcetera etcetera. My femme creator moved back to Tranquility after that, back with her creators, so she could have support for the both of us."
"What happened to her?" Wheeljack asked, sounding both fascinated and horrified.
"She offlined when I was… either eight months or eleven months old." Miles stated. "I always get her and her femme creator's sister, my legal aunt, mixed up."
"How do you forget when your own mother died?" Trent asked with a snort.
Will, Epps, and Sam visibly tensed, waiting for Miles to snap something back at him. The Captain knew that Sam and Trent had talked some and were getting along somewhat better, but Trent and Miles had never had that opportunity yet, and he didn't know if Sam had told his friend that the jock was turning out to be okay. But Miles just laughed.
"Seems a bit insensitive doesn't it?" Miles grinned, "But I didn't know that my legal creators weren't my biological and legal creators until sixth grade. I always thought they just had me super late and up until that point she'd just been some stranger that I hadn't even known, a daughter that they lost but I'd never met. I mean it was sad, sure, but we never really talked about her until after they told me, so I never bothered to care much."
"Why didn't they tell you that they were not your biological creators?" Bumblebee asked, shifting Sam a bit so he was holding his charge.
"So I'd turn out normal, I guess. I grew up thinking I had loving creators." Miles paused in his reply for a moment as he considered something. "I mean, if I had known they weren't my biological creators, I would still have been happy and felt loved, but knowing that my biological mech creator ditched me probably would've made me have some issues, I guess. I dunno, since they did it the way they did it always feels like I'm talking about two people who are just people to me, not my biological creators. My legal creators are the ones I see, love, and think of as my creators. The biological ones don't feel like it."
And it was true, talking about his biological parents always made him feel as if he was talking about someone else's parents. He had accepted his grandparents, his legal parents, as his real parents and that wasn't going to change. The how or why of it didn't bother him a bit, though there had been the expected freak out over being lied to for most of his life. Sam had been there to help calm him down, then.
"Now," Miles sent a smirk in Trent's direction, "I think my teaching assistant can take care of our second real life example."
"Right," Trent muttered, standing up and glancing around the table. "I have a step-father. My original parents—fuck, creators, I mean—got divorced. I stayed with my biological mom and she remarried, so I got a legal second father, called my step-father. It can get a bit confusing when people marry, since the same term is used. One person's parents become the step-parents of the, uh... sparkmate thing."
"What happened to cause your creators to split up?" Wheeljack asked again. It seemed as if the rest of the 'bots were content on him asking all the questions. He was a scientist after all.
"My dad—my biological creator—was a fucking abusive asshole. Mom dumped his ass after so long." Trent replied with a glower.
Wheeljack tilted his head to the side as if contemplating what Trent had said, a habit he'd picked up from Mikaela. "Abusive?"
This time it was the humans who fell silent. No one wanted to make Trent explain, it was beyond obvious that it was a sore topic for the teenager if his current facial expression was anything to go by, but no one else really wanted to explain it either.
"When someone is abusive in a relationship it means that they hurt someone else physically or mentally. Sometimes both." Will finally said, sighing. "This can be between a couple, and I'm not going to use the term sparkmates because I know for a fact that your sparkmates would never do that to each other, or between creator and sparkling."
And the meeting suddenly turned into a jumble of voices as the Cybertronians all started to ask questions and voice their disbelief. Humans and Cybertronians were alike in a lot of ways, but this meeting helped to remind them that there was a lot of differences, too. And sometimes they weren't all good. But it was suddenly called into attention again when Miles' phone went off lightly, making the teen flush and give an embarrassed look around the table before he actually managed to answer it.
"Hey, mom." Miles greeted, then paused. "Right now? We're kind of..."
The teen let out a loud groan and then immediately apologized into the phone before holding it out towards Barricade. The 'con formed his holoform and took the phone immediately, surprising everyone and mech around the room as he greeted the teen's mother in a chipper voice that none of them had heard before and then proceeded to thank her for something. He then put the phone to his chest in order to stop any sound from going through.
"Permission to travel to Tranquility to have lunch with his parents?"
Optimus stared at Barricade for a moment, "Uh... Is it a special occasion?"
"It's Officer Barry's birthday," Miles grinned for a moment, "Or so my mom is convinced. And my mom is quite charmed by Officer Barry."
Bumblebee laughed at that and Barricade shot him a withering look for it.
"Don't worry, I'll have your daughter home before midnight." Miles promised when Optimus didn't respond right away.
The Prime raised an optic ridge, "Just promise to use protection and I won't worry about her making it home on time."
Barricade growled but said nothing against it, instead he took a moment to inform Miles' mother that they'd both be there no later than two.
Sam gave a small wave as Barricade's alt mode started to leave the base. He could already hear Miles and Barricade sniping back and forth at each other through the open windows, and he rolled his eyes before turning to find his Guardian staring down at him.
"Seeing them off?" Bumblebee asked.
Sam nodded, "Yeah. It's weird, I always forget they had time together before they came to base, y'know?"
"Indeed," Bumblebee replied. He lowered his servo so his Charge could climb into it, and then started to walk towards the cafeteria. "For all of Barricade's reluctance to show how close they are, I think it's always the most obvious after there's a fight and they make up."
"Yeah, they're both much happier, aren't they?" Sam questioned idly, "Talking and getting on. I mean, they talked some before, but it was... not the same."
"I can't help but wonder how Barricade is when it's just the two of them."
"Not as defensive, apparently." Sam grinned, "Something about being around you 'bots makes him get riled up, according to Miles. That was one of the things he complained most about when he came to base that first time. Said Barricade took about fifty steps backwards in the feelings department as soon as he was near y'all."
"Well, I do imagine it's been difficult on him." Bumblebee mused, "I doubt I'd be as friendly and open if I had to go into 'con territory, even if it was with you. I can understand it, in a way. I wouldn't want you to be used against me, or for them to think we're too close and if I upset them then there's nothing to do but get rid of you."
"Do you think Barricade actually put that much thought into it?"
Bumblebee glanced down at his Charge, "I think he put more thought in to it then we could understand. Miles, too, for that matter. He had something to protect as much as Barricade did when they first came here. More so, I imagine, because Barricade would have been ready to leave him if need be."
"And now Barricade's birthday is being celebrated by Miles' family," Sam snorted. "Bet he never saw that coming."
"No, probably not." Bumblebee laughed, "But... what do you think would be a good birthday for me?"
Sam smirked up at his Guardian, "Jealous that Barry's getting cake and you aren't?"
"I-hardly, it's just that-" Bumblebee started to sputter, but he stopped when Sam started to laugh.
"June 11th," Sam laughed. "That'll be your birthday."
"That's yours, Sam."
"I know. I want to share with you."
That got him a pleased warble, and Sam grinned. Sometimes Bumblebee really was too easy to please.
It was late at night and Miles was making his way back from Barricade's hangar to the barracks where he, Sam, and the soldiers slept. The meeting about family and death had taken place earlier that morning, running about three hours longer than anyone had thought possible because of the sheer amount of questions both sides had wanted to ask each other. It hadn't helped at all after his mother called, of course. He'd never bothered to actually mention that Barricade had met and befriended his parents while pretending to be Officer Barry. But even when the directions hadn't been pointed at him or Barricade, there had been a lot of both organics and Cybertronians trying to understand each other better. Mostly the Cybertronians were stuck trying to fit their processors around the idea of abuse in its many forms and the humans had their own questions, least of all about the seemingly weird burial practices that the alien robots held.
After the meeting Miles had been nabbed by Prowl, Barricade following after with his customary glower. They all talked about his own parents, Prowl making it clear that he didn't understand how his parents could befriend Barricade's false identity so easily, but then they moved on to Prowl's and what little bit Barricade would mention of his own. Both Prowl and Miles were a bit shocked to learn that Barricade himself was almost as young as Bumblebee. The human equivalent would put him around mid to early twenties, while the yellow Autobot scout would be around the same age as Miles and Sam.
And after that he and Barricade had gone to Tranquility to have a nice lunch with his parents. The 'con was always much nicer around them, though infinitely more annoying in that he took a bigger kick out of teasing or making fun of Miles. But it had made his mother happy and his father had talked politics with Barricade, so it hadn't been a bad day. Going back to base for dinner had been less fun since Ratchet had grabbed him to find out everything he knew about Cybertronian anatomy, and he had only just escaped the medic's servos.
The teen knew where just about everyone was at that moment if he actually wanted to locate anyone. Mikaela had gone with Ratchet to watch him perform a check up on Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, most likely bugging him to teach her more things in case something like Huffer were to happen again. Sam had gone out for a very long drive with Bumblebee, leaving Fig and Epps to annoy Will instead. Trent had returned home that afternoon. The night itself was rather cool, and most of the mechs and soldiers were sleeping at that point. Miles hummed to himself as he walked along, some odd tune that Bumblebee had played earlier at the meeting in response to something that had gotten stuck in his head, and he never heard the light foot steps as they came up behind him.
He had no idea anyone was there at all until he felt strong arms slip around him, one hand firmly finding its place on his mouth. He didn't even have the chance to scream.
The next morning no one was able to find Epps, which in itself wasn't enough to cause any worry. However, Miles was also no where to be found, which more then likely meant that they were both in the same place and that poor Miles was at the older man's mercy. While this was discussed at breakfast, no one really bothered to do anything about it. It was still early, and no one wanted to have to put up with the craziness that was Sergeant Robert Epps, let alone when it was Epps and one Miles Lancaster, for that matter.
It wasn't until Will received a call from Epps, asking for both him and Sam, that anyone bothered to actually look for where the two were. He was surprised to find them in the makeshift Communications and Control room, Blaster inside of it with them. Both of them were sitting side by side, huddled around one of the screens and Blaster seemed to be ignoring them, probably having dealt with whatever they were up to for the last couple of hours.
"What's up?" Will asked, moving towards the back of their chairs.
"One word my friend," Epps said, grinning. He looked back at them, but Miles continued to stare at the screen. The teen hadn't moved once since they had come in. "Fanfiction."
"Excuse me?" Will asked, raising an eyebrow. He knew what fanfiction was, of course, he just didn't get how it applied to the situation.
Here Blaster cut in, his tone dry. "You are aware of the NEST website, yes? Well, of course you are, you're one of the main members, but my point: the site itself is split into three parts. The first and most important part is the part where you organics and my people can communicate together and share things. The other two parts are a human side and a Cybertronian side, blocked to the other side so that we may speak freely of our co-workers. Any slandering is prohibited; I personally watch over the logs on the Cybertronian side to make sure there is nothing too rude said. Fig is my human counterpart in that manner, the moderator of the human side, if you will.
"Oh," Sam said simply, a growing sense of dread could be seen in the teen's eyes. He suddenly wanted to leave the room, and quickly at that. He sent a pleading look to Will.
"So... The human side has fanfiction?" Will asked, taking a bit longer to get it, and not noticing the pleading look that Sam sent him.
"It would seem so," Blaster replied. The mech paused as he glanced at Will and Sam, "You organics are very imaginative when it comes to how we have 'sex' as you would call it."
At the word sex they could see Miles twitch, turning his head to look away from the screen as quickly as he could. Beside him Epps snickered.
"Reading that threesome between him, Prowl, and 'Cade seemed to make him 'glitch'." Epps said, voice strained as he tried to keep from laughing. "Y'know, apparently some people think Miles has a cop car fetish."
Miles practically growled, "Well at least some don't think I have a thing for Will and like to creep on him when he and Ironhide fuck."
"That was one story! One!" Epps huffed, glaring at the teen.
Blaster got up, nodded at Will, then quickly left the room. They could hear it as he engaged the locks, and seconds later a base-wide message was made, so that everyone, humans and mechs alike, could hear it.
"Lockdown in the communications room. There seems to be an odd virus spreading from 'fanfiction'. It has infected many on the base and currently Epps and Miles are battling a terrible case of it. Sam and Will are in there; I can only assume that Miles and Epps will infect the two of them. May Primus save them all... And Bumblebee, look up fanfiction before you freak."
Miles laughed at the mock-warning. Epps got up from his seat and moved over to where Blaster had been sitting, accessing one of the largest screens in the room and putting in his ID and password before going to the side of the NEST website that he wanted to. The screen was large enough that they all could see it without needing to crowd together.
"No, dudes," Sam said softly, staring at the door. He was hoping that Bumblebee would freak anyway and attempt to save him. "No way."
Miles smirked, "When you're old and wrinkly, and your grandchildren are gathered around you, don't you want to tell them you braved NEST fanfiction?"
Will and Sam looked at each other, and then shook their heads in unison. They preferred riding in the sentient cars and talking to them, not avoiding them and never looking them in the optic. But alas, they were locked in, and Miles and Epps were a challenge on their own. Together they were impossible to refuse. So they were dragged into it, Epps even going as far as threatening to handcuff Will's arm to the armrest of one of the chairs to get him to stay, then doing it when the Captain still refused. Miles took the more subtle approach and just guilted Sam into doing it.
They sat there, eyes widening as Miles and Epps explained the lengthy list of pairings. There was two general categories; mechxmech and mechxhuman. They listed some of the more popular mechxmech pairings first and then just ones they found funny. PrimexProwl, PrimexIronhide, IronhidexRatchet, RatchetxSunstreakerxSideswipe, ProwlxBarricade, BlurrxBumblebee, BumblebeexPrime, BumblebeexIronhide, SunstreakerxSideswipe, BumblebeexProwl, ProwlxJazz, JazzxTrailbreaker, and more. There was a shocking amount. It was that, oddly enough, that made Will and Sam realize they'd never even really talked about sparkmates with their friends. They didn't know who wanted who, let alone if anyone was actually with someone.
Then Miles and Epps moved on to mechxhuman, the two quickly dumping their previous line of thinking in an attempt to just not think at all anymore. SamxBumblebee, SamxPrime, WillxIronhide, MilesxBarricade, MilesxBarricadexProwl, SamxMilesxBumblebee, JazzxEpps, SunstreakerxSideswipexFig, SunstreakerxFig, TrentxBlaster, TrentxMilesxBarricade, TrentxSamxBumblebee, SarahxWillxIronhide, MikaelaxSamxBumblebee, BlurrxMiles, MilesxProwl, EppsxWillxIronhide, MaggiexProwl, and more.
"Oh, here's one," Miles said cheerfully, clicking on it. "Title: A medbot's duties. Summary: Ratchet makes sure that his patients are happy and relaxed in every way possible. Organics and 'bots alike."
Epps looked, clicking an arrow to show the chapter titles. He laughed, "How nice, each chapter says which couple it will focus on. RatchetxPrime, RatchetxProwl... Oh Primus, Ratchetxthe twins. I'm not even sure how that would work, we avoided reading the threesomes for the most part. Except Miles' sexy time with Prowl and 'Cade. Of course that was holoforms..."
He clicked the chapter with the twins, scrolling down to the whole point of that particular story. The crazy robot interfacing.
"Ratchet had always fixed them up," Miles read from the screen. "Always took such good care of them, even if they pranked the poor medbot endlessly. Even as he thought this, Sideswipe felt a grin form on his face as he watched his twin kiss Ratchet, glossas dancing for dominance, and grip the medic's aft. It was their turn to take care of the medic."
Sam snickered, "I vote we download this and send it to Ratchet anonymously. Tell him to stop fraggin' everybot and their humans too."
The teen shoved Miles away from the screen, moving over and putting in his own search. By this point Sam had decided that if he had to be there and suffer, he could at least have some fun with it. He glanced over at Epps, seeing the Sergeant smirk as he read the new search that came up. Miles and Barricade, a personal favorite of his.
"Title: Bad kitty." Sam read, Epps snickering beside him. Miles moved back beside Will, groaning and trying to plead with his friend to stop. "Guess your Halloween costume was pretty popular, eh, kitty?"
"Barricade watched as Miles curled up happily in Prowl's lap in the Autobot rec-room, Prowl reading a datapad with one hand as he stroked the teen's head with one finger gently." Epps started to read, doing so in his best dramatic tone. "For once, he kept his rage inside. Miles had been his first, and Prowl had no right to touch what was his. But Barricade wasn't stupid, anything but, in fact. He knew if he acted wrong it would only scare Miles off completely, and that was the last thing he needed. So he had enlisted the help of Bobbie an-"
"Bobbie?" Will cut in, "Who else calls you that besides Sarah?"
Will and Epps both knew that, outside of a few occasions, Sarah was the only person to frequently do so. There was a reason that he wanted to be known as Epps for, after all.
"Hmm, a BBTlover, apparently." A pause as Epps opened up the person's profile on another page. "BBT stands for Big Black Truck. Oh my God, it's Sarah!"
He laughed, quickly clicking on the link that would take him to BBTlover's fanfiction. He scanned it quickly, smirking when he found what he was looking for, because it was perfect. It didn't matter that it wasn't Sarah, they couldn't tell that. Fanfiction was set up with usernames and you couldn't tell who was who unless they put their names willingly, or leaked too much info.
"What?" Miles exclaimed, looking at Will with wide eyes.
Will smirked, "Better you then me, kid. Sorry."
"Oh, she has some of you and Hide, too, Will." Epps said, the smirk being heard in his voice as he pulled one of them up and began to read. "Ironhide had just found out it was Will's day of sparking, and while he didn't understand their strange organic costumes, he supposed he could get the Captain a gift. He had asked Sarah, who knew too much for her own good, and she had suggested something that was sure to relieve some of Will's stress, a di-pfffffffffft! A dildo!"
There was nothing but silence as they all turned to look at Will. For a few seconds he just stood there and they were afraid he would pull a Prowl. Instead, he quickly came back to himself, activated the base wide comm and begged loudly to be let out until someone finally took pity on him and took him away from the other three and to the rec-room.