Anything for Love
Chapter 7: The One Where Joey and Phoebe Fight
Joey had just finished a difficult scene, and was officially on his break. As soon as the director had called cut, he had run to the catering table. He had had such an early call time that he hadn't had a chance to have breakfast first. That was normally unheard of for him!
He got a plate and began piling it all on. There was so much to offer on the food table, and he wanted to try it all. It all looked so good, and it was lunchtime!
"Be careful now, Joey. Tiffany likes her men in great shape. She's shallow. She's not into fat guys," Daniella who played Tiffany, Joey's character Tommy's on again off again lover, teased him.
Joey laughed with her as she passed by him, and then his smile dissapeared as he put two whole finger sandwhiches in his mouth. "Wait, what did she mean?" he asked himself with a mouthful of sandwhiches. He swallowed the food in his mouth and popped open a can of Pepsi. He guzzled some of it down, and then went to work on the pigs in a blanket he had piled onto his plate. There were about five of them.
"Seriously, Joey, you may want to watch how much you eat," Cal Masters who played a cop on the show said to him.
Joey grinned with a mouth ful of pigs in the blanket showing through his teeth. He quickly swallowed. "Oh I'm watching it! I make sure I see everything there is to eat! I wouldn't want to miss anything, you know." He grinned at Cal and winked, and then piled in another pig in a blanket. He only had a half hour to eat, and he wanted to utilize every minute!
Cal shook his head. "I'm serious. Trust me, I had a food problem once. I was addicted to Cheetos, chips and dip, anything fattenting. My wife had to put me on a six-month diet because I was getting to an unhealthy weight. It sucked."
"Thanks for the tip!" Joey said, not really paying much attention as he downed some more soda and went for the meat and cheese cracker plate.
Cal shrugged. "Suit yourself! But don't say I didn't wanrn ya." He walked away.
"Joey doesn't do diets," Joey said to no one in particular as he opened a single serve milk bottle and grabbed a chocolate cupcake.
Once his break was over, he headed to his dressing room for another wardrobe change and to go over his lines again.
As he was headed to his dressing room, he overheard Daniella in her dressing room talking to two other people. Joey recognized one voice as Cal's, and the other as Gina's. Gina was one of the makup artists.
"Did you see Joey cramming all that food down his throat? It's so digusting!" Gina said.
Joey scrunched his eyebrows together. Gina was known to be a little abrasive and opinionated, but she had always been nice to him other than some friendly razzing, so he was surprised to hear her talking badly about him.
Daniella will stick up for me, he thought. Daniella was always so kind to him. Even her husband was cool when he came to visit her on set sometimes.
"I know. I tried to get my point across by joking with him about it, but he's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. He didn't seem to even know what I was getting at," Daniella said.
Joey felt as if he had been slapped. He had thought Daniella was his friend!
Cal and Gina both laughed.
"He can be so smart sometimes, and dumb as a rock other times. He's sweet, but sometimes I wonder how he can even hold down an acting job. Heck, I'm surprised he's as good at acting as he is!" Gina replied.
Joey didn't know whether to be angry or sad. Right now he was a mixture of both. Is this was his co-workers actually thought of him? Some stupid guy who likes to make a pig of himself?
"I tried to tell him he'll get fat after he didn't seem to get the point from you, Daniella. He shrugged me off and shoved more food in his mouth. Let's hope you guys don't get many more love scenes together. He'll end up crushing you one day at the rate he eats!"
The three of them laughed. "I hear ya!" Daniella said. "I do feel bad though. He's a really nice guy, and he's super sweet. We really shouldn't be ragging on him like this."
"It's all in good fun. I love the guy, don't get me wrong. He's just a little childish sometimes; that's all," Gina said.
"Yeah, he's a hell of a good actor. I do have to hand it to him. He's just a little different; that's all," Cal said.
Joey was too upset to even acknowledge the compliment of being a hell of an actor. The bad outweighed the good.
Joey had heard enough. He headed back to his dressing room and tried to forget all that he had just heard, although it was hard to. He still had scenes to do for the day, and he couldn't let what he had just overheard stop him from doing his job. He would pretend he had never heard what was said about him and go on about the rest of his day as though that had never happened. He knew that even though he apparently had fake friends on set, he at least had real ones off set. In fact, he was due to have dinner with Ross and Chandler that night! He let the thought of that get him through the rest of his work that day.
Chander, Ross, and Joey went to their favorite Chinese restaurant, The Wonton Noodle. It had the best Chinese food in all of their opinions, and it also had good-sized portions.
"So, how was work today everyone?" Ross asked as they ate their food.
"Boring," Chandler said. "I loved my job at first, but now it's starting to feel a little burden-some. However, it pays the bills, and with a family to feed, it will do. There are a lot worse jobs I could do."
"I could teach all day long. I love bing a professor," Ross said. He grinned. "I mean, getting someone new into paleontology is the best feeling in the world!"
Chandler raised an eyebrow at him. "I think you need to get out more, Bro."
Ross rolled his eyes. "Ha, ha. Seriously though, I love knowing that I inspire my students and help them learn about something they never really knew much about before. Dinosaurs are just my thing. I can't help it!"
"I don't know. I think I prefer walruses!" Joey said.
Ross and Chandler both looked over at him and gave him weird looks when they saw that he had his chopsticks up his nose.
Joey made walrus sounds and clapped his wrists together.
"Could you be any more embarrassing?" Chandler quipped.
"Or gross?" Ross asked.
"Come on, guys! You both used to laugh at this kind of thing. Or at least Chandler used to," Joey said with a pout.
"Yeah, before I grew up!" Chandler said. He wrinkled his nose. "Take those out of your nose. That's disgusting."
Joey did as told, his feelings hurt a little. First he had had to deal with rude co-workers, and now his friends, whom he thought would never let him down, were being rude to him too.
"Crap!" Ross said as one of his chopsticks slipped off his plate when he reached for his drink.
"I prefer to use the fork anyway. You can use mine." Joey handed his to Ross.
"Gross! Chandler and Ross both said.
"What?" Joey asked; oblivious.
"What do you mean what? They were up your nose!" Chandler said.
"Only the ends! I didn't use the part you eat off off," Joey argued.
"Like placing my fingers over something that's been up your nose is much better. I'll pass, thanks!" Ross said, giving him another weird look. He then motioned to the waiter for a new pair of chopsticks.
Joey went back to eathing his food, his feelings hurt even worse.
The next few days at work went fine. Joey kind of forgot about his co-workers ragging on him and just concentrated on doing his job. It was as if nothing had ever happened. Still, deep down, every time he laughed with a co-worker or had a good conversation with them, he had to wonder what they really thought of him deep down.
After work one night, the gang decided to get together for coffee at Central Perk like old times. Phoebe was still singing there occasionally, though not as often as she used to. Tonight, however, she was singing, and he wanted to be there to support her.
Phoebe did her soundcheck and he sat on the couch and drank his coffee with the others. He then noticed a fresh batch of strawberry muffins that Gunther had just brought out, so he headed up to get one after asking if anyone else wanted one. No one did.
He also decided to get a chocolate milk to go with his strawberry muffin while he was up there. He asked a straw to go with it because he liked to blow bubbles in the single serve bottle and see if he could get the bubbles to go over top of the bottle like an erupted volcano.
After paying, he sat down on the couch and took a bite of his muffin, then he put his straw into the bottle and blew as hard as he could. To his delight, the bubbles shot out of the bottle like a rocket and dripped down the sides.
"Joey! What the hell are you doing?" Rachel asked. "You just got that on my new white skirt! Do you know how much that cost?"
Chandler smirked. "I guess that's what you get for wearing white after Labor Day."
Rachel shot him a look to kill. "Nobody even goes by that rule anymore." She shot an even nastier look at Joey. "Anyway, that's not the point. The point is I spent five hundred dollars on this skirt and chocolate stains!"
"I'm sorry! I'll buy you a new one," Joey said.
"This was the only one left. It is our most popular skirt in the store," Rachel said through clenched teeth.
"I'll at least pay for it. Don't worry about it!" Joey said.
"Why were you blowing bubbles anyway? What are you, five-years-old?" Rachel snapped.
"And why are you drinking chocolate milk at a coffee house?" Monica chimed in with a smirk. "Is that what Mommy used to make you?"
Everyone but Joey, and Phoebe who was still up tuning her guitar laughed.
"Ha, ha! You guys are a real riot!" Joey said sarcastically; not amused.
Phoebe's set began then, and Joey let her catchy and funny songs take his mind off of how rude even his real friends were being to him.
When her set was over, everyone clapped, and Phoebe took a seat on the couch between Joey and Rachel. Rachel had slid away from Joey after the bubble incident.
"Great set, baby!" Joey said to Phoebe before kissing her sweetly on the lips.
She smiled. "Thank you."
"Would you like anything to eat?" he asked her.
"Those strawberry muffins look good. Maybe a coffee too?" Phoebe asked.
"You got it!" Joey agreed. He went up and promptly got her order, paid for it, and then handed it to her from behind the couch. Then, trying to both be funny, and to impress her, he put both hands on the back of the couch. His intent was to launch himself at a right angle so that his legs would swing over the arm of the couch, and his butt would land right on the couch's seat cushion that he had previously been sitting on. Instead, it turned out to be harder to do than he had envisioned it to be. He fell off the couch and landed hard on his side…right on top of Phoebe's guitar that she had on the floor propped against the coffee table.
"Joey! You broke it!" Phoebe said with dismay. The wood of the guitar was completely smashed in. "Get off of it!"
Joey slowly got up with a groan. "I'm fine, thanks for asking," he grumbled.
"Do you have any idea how much I loved this guitar?" Phoebe asked, tears threatening to well up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. It was an accident!" Joey said.
"Why were you jumping over the couch anyway? Gosh, Joey you're so stupid sometimes!" Phoebe snapped.
Joey stared at her for a moment, shocked at her words. Finally, he spoke. "You know, I could take the abuse from my co-workers and I can even take I from the rest of you." He motioned toward the others. Then he looked at Phoebe. "But not from you. I thought you were the one person who would never call me stupid. I thought you were the one person who loved me as I am. You never made me feel stupid. You were the one I could always count on. Until now. You know, I thought even more so now that we're dating I could count on you, but I guess when it comes down to it, I can't."
"Joey…." Phoebe instantly felt bad. "I'm sorry, I—"
Joey shook his head. "You know what? Don't bother. It's become clear to me now that none of you were ever really my friend."
"What did we do?" Rachel snapped.
"You made fun of me for blowing bubbles in my milk. Monica mocked me for having chocolate milk. Since when does flavored milk have an age range on it anyway? Chandler and Ross, you mocked me for the chopsticks in my nose. There was a day when you both would laugh. Now you both just act like you're embarrassed by me. When my co-workers started ragging on me for eating so much, it hurt. It really hurt, but I thought that it didn't matter because I had real friends who accepted me as I am. It turns out, I don't even have those."
"Joey, wait! We're sorry, okay?" Monica called out to him.
Joey ignored her. The damage was already done. He left Central Perk without another word and quickly hailed a cab to take him back to The Plaza. He had had enough with his so-called friends.
Joey had just taken a shower and dressed for bed, when he heard a pounding at his door.
"Joey, please, let me in." It was Phoebe.
"Go away. I'm going to bed for the night. I have an early call time tomorrow," Joey grumbled.
"I'm not going until you open the door."
"Phoebs, go home. We have nothing more to say to each other."
"Really? You're going to not talk to me anymore just because I said one stupid thing?"
Joey sighed. "I'm the stupid one. Remember?"
"If you don't let me in, I'm going to sing "Smelly Cat" really loudly and off key until everyone on this floor demands you be thrown out for having such a loud and obnoxious visitor," Phoebe warned.
"Yeah, right!" Joey said. He turned off the light. "I'm headed to bed now," he said loud enough for her to hear from the other side of the door.
"Smelly cat, smelly caaaaaaaaat!"
Joey quickly got out of bed and unlocked the door.
"What are they feeding you?"
Joey opened the door and practically yanked her in side the room. He shut the door behind her. "All right, speak."
Phoebe barked like a dog in response to him telling her to speak.
Joey shot her a look.
"No?" Phoebe asked.
Joey ignored her.
"You really are mad," Phoebe said.
"Great! So now I'm not only stupid, but I'm crazy too?" Joey asked.
Phoebe sat down on his bed and pat the seat next to her. "I meant angry."
Joey sighed, and sat down next to her. "I guess you were right then; I am stupid."
Phoebe placed an arm around him. "You are not stupid. I'm just overly obsessed with my guitar and I overreacted. I'm so sorry, Joey. I know I failed you tonight, but I promise you, you can count on me to always be on your side from now on."
"I'm sorry I broke your guitar. I was just trying to look cool in front of you and it backfired," Joey said, his shoulders slumping in defeat.
"You don't have to do anything to try to impress me Joey, because I'm already impressed with you," Phoebe informed him.
Joey looked at her. "Really?"
Phoebe nodded. "You're the most talented actor I know. Though, I can't watch you on Love and Freedom anymore."
Joey raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"
Phoebe blushed. "Because now that we're dating I get crazy jealous every time you have a love scene."
Joey grinned. "It's all pretend. We're both wearing clothes even though it looks like we're not, and there's like three or four camera men right in our faces along with the director and other crew. Trust me, there's nothing romantic about it."
Phoebe nodded. "I know, but you're such a good actor that it seems too real to me."
"I'm sorry I'm so childish," Joey said. "And that I eat like a pig."
Phoebe gently stroked his cheek. "Don't ever apologize for being childish, Joey. It's one of my favorite things about you. I love that you're a kid at heart and you know how to have real fun. Chandler, Monica, Ross, Rachel… They've all had most of the fun sucked out of them by growing up and having children. They don't stay out as late. They need sitters for the kids. It's all about, 'The kids did this.' 'The kids did that.' They have no sense of adventure anymore! You on the other hand, are always up for the most fun things to do. You never let your age stop you from living life to its fullest."
Joey smiled, and nuzzled his cheek against her hand. He then took her other hand and kissed it. "I really am sorry about your guitar. I'll pay to have it fixed obviously."
Phoebe shook her head. "I threw it in the trash bin outside of Central Perk. I figured that maybe it's time to say goodbye to it and move on. I was getting way too attached to it. It was really old anyway. I'll buy a better one."
"Well, if that's what you want, then I'll buy you any guitar you want," Joey assured her.
Phoebe kissed him. "Thank you, Joey." She rested her head against his. "I'm childish too, you know, in my own way. I mean, look at the kind of songs I sing, and the way I'm always playing pretend."
Joey grinned. "Funny, because that is one of the things I love best about you."
Phoebe giggled, and pushed some hair behind her ear. She didn't know why, but Joey always made her feel like a school girl. "Really?"
Joey nodded. "Hell yeah!"
Phoebe grinned. "Do you want me to go down to your work and kick those co-workers asses? I for one love the way you eat. I do envy you, however, that you can eat all you want and never get fat."
Joey laughed. "I work out sometimes. But, no, don't kick their asses cuz that might get you put in jail."
Phoebe shrugged. "It would be worth it. You have the money now to bail me out."
Joey laughed more. "But it would get me fired if my girlfriend came onset and started punching people out. I appreciate the offer though."
Phoebe shrugged. "All right then, but FYI, your boss is no fun."
"But you are," Joey said to her, gently taking her face between his hands.
Phoebe smiled, her eyes lowered. "So are you."
They kissed, and Phoebe started to pull Joey down onto the bed with her.
Joey moaned. "Mm, as much as I want you right now, I just showered, and I really do have an early call time tomorrow. I have to get up literally in like four hours."
"Oh. Okay then." Phoebe got up and straightened out her hair. "I better leave now then, or you're not going to be able to pry me off of you."
Joey smiled. "We'll be together soon, Phoebs. I promise. It will be worth the wait."
Phoebe nodded. She kissed his cheek. "I'm sure it will. By the way, the others are really sorry too. I told them I wanted to talk to you alone, but I'd expect either a call, a visit, or both from the others tomorrow."
"Thanks for the heads up!" Joey said as he saw her to the door.
They kissed some more in the doorway.
"Are you sure we can't…. Even if we make it quick?" Phoebe asked.
Joey raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you really want our first time together to be rushed?"
Phoebe smiled, and shook her head. "No, I suppose not." She kissed him one more time. "Goodnight. Dream of me."
Joey grinned. "Goodnight. I'll do my best."
With one last kiss, Phoebe left.
Joey closed the door, then threw on a sweater and some sweatpants over his t-shirt and boxer shorts. He put on his socks, boots, and coat, grabbed his wallet, and then left The Plaza. He had a quick errand to run before he could get any sleep.