Benjen
The sight of Winterfell in the distance was heartwarming as Benjen finally arrived. The castle was as gloomy and dark as usual yet Benjen thought of nothing but that he was glad to be there. The castle was full of memories of his childhood and his siblings.
He was happy to see his brother and his family again, the children had grown much, Robb and Jon were almost men, and when he heard the story about the Direwolves he nearly fell off his horse. The sigil of House Stark hasn't appeared in the Northern lands for centuries, and it was nothing short of fitting that they ended up with his nieces and nephews. He smiled when he heard how Jon had approached the mother wolf even when Ned did not. His nephew was a true Stark.
Seeing the king was a shock, he never liked the man who was once destined to be his goodbrother, he had dishonored Lyanna and not once while claiming his great love for Benjen's sister. But he had never thought he'd send himself into such a state through his habits. The Lannister woman was as scornful as ever, while all but the eldest of their children actually took after their father. He looked at his brother's ward. Her mother's eyes and beauty but a Baratheon clearly. She was a little quiet but clever and had none of her mother's spite, but her younger brother, who was nearly two heads taller than her, was unfortunately the opposite, that was clear from one look at the boy.
Ned and Catelyn were dining with the King and Queen, while below them he saw his nieces and nephews dining with the royal siblings. He turned and frowned sadly to find Jon sat away, lest he anger the Lannister woman with his presence. Benjen went over to his nephew and saw him steal a chicken leg and drop it beneath the table. The direwolf pup devoured the leg in an instant, showing off a row of white fangs.
"Is this one of the direwolves I've heard so much of?" he said. Jon smiled as he playfully ruffled his hair.
Yes," he said. "His name is Ghost."
Benjen studied the wolf. Its coat was white as snow and its eyes were red as blood and staring. The name was fitting, fir the creature seemed like a spirit of a Direwolf rather than an actual Direwolf.
He turned his eyes from the wolf to his nephew and noticed the cup in his hands. He took it and sniffed.
"Summerwine," he said, smiling teasingly. "Nothing so sweet. How many cups have you had, Jon?"
Jon simply smiled and Benjen laughed. He couldn't blame the boy, he himself was even younger when he first got drunk. He remembered Lyanna had dosed him in cold water when she found him sipping in the stables, laughing.
He sat beside Jon and he smiled as the boy proudly told him of how he and his brother's training was going, while he shared stories about the Night's Watch but after a few minutes of talking and laughing together, Jon made the most unexpected request.
"Take me with you when you go back to the Wall".
He searched for some sign of humor, but all he found in his nephew's face was determination. A storm came after that, he had insisted that he was too young, too green, not knowing what he was giving up. But the boy debunked every argument and in the end excused himself, tears in his eyes, the wolf trailing after him.
Benjen was left sipping wine and thinking hard. Jon claimed that Ned knew about his plans and that it was his choice and no one else's. But did Jon really know what he was doing? The oaths of the Night's Watch were forever and if Jon was wrong that this was what he wanted then he would suffer.
The boy didn't have it easy, that he knew, his bastardy left a stain on him and growing up without a mother was hard. Benjen knew that, his own mother died when he was very young. But Jon had it worse, for he saw those seeking eyes look to his good sister as she embraced his siblings, he had to grow up watching his siblings have a mother while he had at best the lady's neglect.
The boy was trying to escape the meaningless life, he thought a bastard was destined for. But that was far from true. Orys Baratheon, Jon Waters, they were all bastards and their houses lived to this day. But Jon Snow was going in Bloodraven's footsteps instead, Brynden Rivers, who served the Night's Watch and then disappeared without a trace. He shuddered at the thought. He looked at Robb knowingly. As much as the brother's loved each other, he knew some part of Jon was always jealous of Robb. Jon was trying to step out of his shadow to find his own greatness.
He knew Jon surely could achieve great things without joining the Night's Watch, but what could he do to stop the boy. He was half sure that if he left without him he would look behind him on the road and see the boy galloping towards him on a mare. Like he said, it was his choice.
He had to speak to Ned, see what his brother thought. When he approached his brother, among the friendliness, he found worry beneath Ned's grey eyes.
They agreed to speak on the morrow. Everyone started retiring to their beds, but Benjen had somewhere to be. When night fell, he made down for the crypts.
His father, brother and sister stood together in the darkness, cold and still. His father's long stern face was captured well, his brother's jovial one was as well, but Lyanna...
He looked sadly at his beloved sister. The stonemason had failed to capture her fierceness and the love of life in her face. He raised his hands to her cold stone ones and placed a winter rose in them.
"I miss you, sister," he said sadly.
He wasn't sure how long he had sat by the three statues. Tears streamed freely down his eyes and he even cried out at one point. When he emerged back into the light, the sun was coming up.
He met with Ned in his solar, but was surprised to find his brother ready to leave.
"We should speak in the Godswood, brother," he said quietly. Benjen studied his brother's face quietly and was surprised to see the grimness, one he had never seen before. He wasn't taking Jon's choice well either.
Ned led him out of the castle and into the darkness of the Godswood. It felt good to stroll through the familiar trees. Others found them grim and suspicious, but to the Starks this place was sacred.
They found the Heart Tree and both knelt for a prayer. When they were done, he saw Ned smile sadly.
"This will certainly be a hard conversation, so first, how are you, brother, how is the Wall?"
"Cold," said Benjen with a small smile. "The Wall stands. They bring in new recruits all the time. Outlaws most of them. The Wildlings are busy though."
"Wildlings," his brother said, surprised.
"Word is one of them calls himself a King Beyond the Wall. He rallies the others together. But we'll endure, Ned. The Wildlings haven't invaded Westeros in centuries and they won't do so ever."
"The Watch does well with a man like you, Ben," his brother said.
"You humble me," he answered. Then he signed. "But could it do with a man like Jon?"
Ned signed as well, closing his eyes and then looking into his own.
"I know that he wants to prove himself there. I know that he has suffered due to the badge I placed on him."
Ned's eyes teared up.
"He endured mocking and mistreatment, and the lack of affection from the one woman who could have been his mother." Ned looked around suddenly, as if double checking. "And all for a lie".
Benjen blinked, his mouth open as he stared at his brother.
Ned heaved a breath, and he struggled to say the next words.
"He is not my son, Ben."
Ben stopped breathing for a moment as this settled in.
"I love him like my own, but he is not mine. I'm sorry to tell you now, but sending him to the Night's Watch means that he shall be under your eye now, and I can't leave him without you knowing. He is not my son."
Benjen didn't say anything as he reflected on his brother's words, avoiding his gaze.
"I suspected so."
Ned heaved a breath again, Stark eyes wide.
"You did..."
"Of course. I understand why you lied, Ned. The Tullys wouldn't have let you keep him if they knew whose bastard you really brought home to Catelyn and your son. He's not the only one one, for all we know. You know what Brandon was like..."
He had suspected that his oldest brother was Jon's father. Ned had always taken their father's lessons to heart more than any of them. He had behaved properly when claiming Jon, but it was unimaginable at how Jon could have been conceived in the first place. Brandon on the other hand was fond of women, and unlike Ned he never married, as dishonorable as it was to father a bastard while betrothed. It had to be then, for Jon couldn't possibly be much older than Robb.
"Where did you find him? The Crownlands..."
But then he finally noticed Ned shaking his head, mouth dry. Benjen looked at him confused.
"Help me with this," Ned said, walking over to the Heart Tree.
"Ned?"
"Just help me".
Ned knelt down and to Benjen's shock started digging below the Heart Tree. He gave Benjen a look that implored him to help him. They moved the earth out of the hole they had made, until Ned ushered him away and pulled something out of the hole. He wiped it with a handkerchief abd then showed it to Benjen.
It was a black and red box. It was made out of a metal Benjen could not identify. The lock was a deep scarlet while the rest downwards was all black. On the top, there were two sigil, a red, three headed dragon, and beside it a grey wolf. A chain of blue flowers engraved on the surface bound them together. Winter Roses, Benjen realised, speechless. The sigils of Houses Targaryen and Stark bound together in his sister's favorite flowers.
Ned turned to box to himself. He knelt down and Bemjen could see what he was doing, but it snapped open.
"Jon Snow is the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and our sister, Lyanna."
Benjen felt the world around him collapsing. He actually stumbled as he backed away.
"How, no..."
Ned looked at him sadly then handed him the box with a sense of sadness. Benjen snatched it with trembling hands and he looked inside.
Many letters were tucked neatly inside and his heart stopped as he recognized his sister's handwriting.
He took the first one and began to read. His heart skipped a bit with each sentence as he read through each and every letter. Except the last, long one, this one was sealed with the boxes symbol and the words "My children's birthright. For them and them alone. You have your father's love."
He stood in silence fir a long time after that as Eddard stared at him. Then he set the box down and rose. Then he punched his brother in the face.
Eddard stumbled at the force of it as Benjen yelled.
"How could you!?" Lyanna's son, you made him into a bastard. You... You cursed her son! You let him... How could you!"
"I had to!" Eddard insisted desperately. "Robert would have..."
"I know what your friend would have done" Benjen cried, sinking to his knees and putting a particular slur on "friend". "How could you not tell me!? Tell him?"
"He's not ready" his brother insisted.
"So you would have him think of himself as lesser, a product of sin and lust? You would deny him his mother's name, let our sister's own son grow up not knowing who she is?"
"I'll tell him, I promise, I always meant to. Always."
"And why didn't you tell me?" Benjen said, seeing his brother's eyes take in the look of betrayal on his face. "If he was Brandon's... I'd understand. The Tullys would demand you send him away. Bastard or not, a son of Brandon growing up with their grandson, heir of Winterfell. But Lyanna... You know what she meant to me. You know how I've missed our sister. And all this time, I had a part of her in front of me..."
"Benjen" said Eddard l, kneeling down to hold his brother by his shoulders. "I'm sorry. I feared you wouldn't allow me to raise him like I did. It was the only way, he couldn't be Brandon's, nor Lyanna's, someone would at least suspect who the father was..."
"How did she die?"
"When she had him. She took it hard. She got a fever. There wasn't a Maester. There was nothing I could do... I held her hand, and she made me promise to look after him..."
"So you raised him as a bastard. Cat doesn't know, does she?"
"No" said Eddard, keeping his eyes down.
Benjen shook his head.
"So you let her scorn him. She might have softened when he got sick, but afterwards..."
"It would have put her in danger".
"She was always in danger. Robert wouldn't care whether she knew or not. I've heard what he said when he saw Elia and her babes. He judged her just as guilty as he would judge us all."
"Benjen, please..."
"So what now?" said Benjen accusingly. "You want me to take him to the Wall to swear himself away, removing any threat to your dear friend. You've made him feel he has no other choice so you wouldn't have to choose between our nephew and Robert Baratheon."
Eddard shook his head again, now angrily.
"I loved him like my own, for he is mine, mine, I raised, I! He is my son. I would never force him. We never even spoke of it until he told me."
"But you won't stop him will you? Well, Ned..."
He rose, shaking his brother off him.
"I can understand most things, at least a part of it, but I won't understand this. I won't let Jon say vows he doesn't comprehend. You need to talk him out of it. Then you tell him who he is, give him whatever the hell that box is, and then we'll see what he chooses".
He stormed off, leaving his brother kneeling by the Heart Tree, Lyanna's last message in his hand.
Jon
He was upset after his fight with his uncle and he stormed out of the halls. He didn't want them all to see his tears.
Ghost was by his side as always and he loved the wolf for that. Ghost understood, where even his father, uncle and Joanna wouldn't.
They thought he was a child, who didn't know what he was asking for. He did. He knew what life awaited him here and he wanted something, something worth more than women and children. What woman would want a bastard for a husband? What children would want a bastard for a father?
He wanted what his uncle did, to grow into something more than just the brother of the Lord of Winterfell. He wanted to be the sword in the darkness, the watcher on the walls, the shield that guards the realm. He wanted to be more than a Snow.
"Boy?"
The voice snapped him back to reality as he frowned and looked to see who it was. His eyes found no one.
"Up here".
His eyes darted upwards. Tyrion Lannister was sitting on the ledge above the doors to the Great Hall, a smile on his face. "Is that your Direwolf?"
"Aye, his name is Ghost" said Jon, trying to be polite to Joanna's uncle despite his state. Joanna spoke highly of him, of how he would protect her from her brother, who now sat beside his siblings like he was the centre of the world. Besides, there was something about the man that peaked his interest.
"What are you doing up there? Why aren't you at the feast?"
"Hot, noisy, and I've had a few cups. I hated leaving Joanna, but she understood. Like I once told her when she asked the same question, it's better not to vomit on your brother. May I see your wolf?"
Jon nodded. "Shall I bring you a ladder?"
"Bleed that, lad".
Jon watched in amazement as the man pushed himself off the ledge and landed on his hands, then vaulted backwards like nothing happened.
Ghost backed away and the small man laughed.
"My apologies. I scared your wolf".
"Come on, Ghost" Jon told his friend, and the wolf walked slowly to nuzzle Jon's face, but snarled silently as Tyrion Lannister approached.
"Shy isn't it?" said the man with a smile.
"Sit Ghost" Jon commanded and his pup obeyed. "You can touch him now."
He won't move until I tell him to. I've been training him."
"I see," Lannister said. He ruffled the snow-white fur between Ghost's ears and said, "Nice wolf. Joanna wrote to me that one day he'd be able to tear people's throats out."
"That's true," Jon said with a smile.
"My niece seems quite fond of you. She writes about you a bit more than the others."
"Jo does? I mean Joanna. I mean the Princess, she does?"
"Call her in front of me whatever you call her when you're alone. But not in front of my sister. She's quite a formal woman."
"So, what did Jo write about me?" said Jon curiously.
The dwarf smiled.
"That you're fine at brooding and sulking. Quite a lot."
He giggled as he saw the look on Jon's face.
"But you're a nice lad with a good sense of judgment. And a sense of humor if the time is right. Mind you, that prank you and your brother pulled on her and your siblings in the crypts! I've had a few nightmares myself when she told me."
They both laughed at that.
"So lad, is Jo as you called her, as happy here as she claims."
"I hope so" Jon told him and he saw the dwarf nod almost knowingly.
"I knew your father would take proper care of her. Not the same way as most other lords. She was better off away from all those games."
"Games" Jon asked.
"Well, there is only one game. The Game of Thrones. A princess sent to live with a noble family would be quite a move. And one beneficial for whatever family is chosen. They'd have their children become her best and only friends and match them up with the eldest son. She needed to be somewhere where it was sure people would actually care about her. Do you care about my niece, Jon Snow?
"Of course I care," Jon said firmly. "She's my friend."
Tyrion Lannister studied him. Then he smiled.
"Aye, I can see that. You've been a good friend to her, Jon Snow, so let me offer you a piece of advice."
Jon found himself leaning in closer.
"Never forget what you are. The bastard of Winterfell is what you will always be. Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."
Jon stared at him. He wasn't really sure how he should feel, enlightened or offended?
Tyrion Lannister saw that.
"All dwarfs are bastards in the eyes of their fathers. The Imp they call me. I used to hate it. But I've made it my armour when I realised my brother wouldn't be able to shield me forever, as your family won't be able to shield you, believe it or not, they've been doing it rather well, as hard as life is for you. You are a bastard boy, but you were better off than many trueborns. So don't run from your name. Embrace it and make it your shield, and you shall be free. Do you understand?"
Jon hesitated, then he nodded.
The dwarf smiled.
"Now, boy, why don't you tell me that fantastic story of how you got those wolves. I wonder if its as exciting as my niece claimed."
Jon smiled.
(Please leave your thoughts in the comments. I enjoy reading your reviews. Let me know if I make any mistakes or need to change something. I've noticed a backlash against Jon's Targaryen name. I've once heard an idea like this that Rhaegar wanted to recreate the original three and I wanted to avoid the usual names in fanfics. Please write whether you want me to change the name or not and we'll see(: )