By the time the joke was found out it was already too late. There had been a water cooler in the rec-room with an unknown liquid on it simply labeled as human energon. It had already been there for several hours and had, in fact, became the center of attention for that day.
Glen had been the one to start the betting pool this time around, using a large dry erase board to keep track of the needed information. No one questioned why Wheeljack, Sunstreaker, and Sideswipe's holoforms were there because they figured that it was a simple answer; Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had invented whatever the strange concoction happened to be and Wheeljack was either there because they blackmailed him so Ratcher wouldn't have to find out if a human happened to have a negative reaction to it, or because he was curious himself. The three mechs knew exactly what the liquid was, but around dinner time they felt it was safe enough to leave the room and just keep tabs on the video feed that came out of it.
Up until about an hour after they left, only Will had been able to down an entire cup of the pink liquid. Most hated the taste and couldn't stand more than a sip, but the Captain had no problem with it. That didn't mean his stomach agreed with his taste buds, though. Half an hour after drinking it he was puking his guts out, a reluctant and terribly confused Ironhide ordered to watch over him and keep track of his sudden illness. Those who might have been ordered to watch over him otherwise were some of the last people he wanted near them after what they had started reading, so Wheeljack had decided that his Guardian would do just as well as long as Ratchet didn't find out.
It was only after the three holoforms dispersed that three new challengers arrived to take on the challenge. Miles, Sam, and Epps had decided that they'd spent entirely too long disturbing themselves and had gone to the rec-room to take a break, quickly finding out what was going on about with the pink liquid. Like Will, they didn't find the pink liquid to be as detestable as everyone else had. In fact, all three quickly beat the Captain's one glass record, cheered on by Glen and several others.
It tasted odd, something that couldn't really be described flavor wise, but they didn't think it was bad. Sam even texted Will to taunt him, flaunting how even Epps had a stronger stomach than him. He didn't get a response from the Captain, but he did get an angry message from Ironhide that warned him off from being any meaner, so he didn't bother to send anything else. Epps dropped out around his fifth cup, but Miles and Sam kept going strong. Of course they didn't drink it all at once, they took minor breaks in between to play games or do other things, but both were determined to beat each other. Miles was half way through his tenth cup and Sam had just started his own when Bumblebee, Ratchet, Barricade, Ironhide, and Prowl stormed in to the rec-room, the twins and Wheeljack following in their wake and looking less than pleased.
The two teens paused mid-sip, realizing that most of the holoforms looked absolutely furious and that probably wasn't a good thing. Bumblebee and Barricade stormed over to them and snatched their cups right from their hands.
"Barry!" Miles protested, "I was just about to beat Sam!"
"What in the pit were you two thinking?" Bumblebee demanded, tone chiding. "Drinking an unknown substance like that! You're not children!"
Sam and Miles said nothing, knowing that there was nothing to say if it was Bumblebee using that tone against them. They shared a nervous look and then pointed to the sign that read human energon, as if to say that they did know what they were drinking, that it had been harmless.
"Well, about that..." Sideswipe started reluctantly, "The human part should really be changed to Cybertronian, or perhaps both should just be left off altogether.
"You're saying that we just drank energon?!" Epps cried, standing up. He looked at the two younger males, "Fuck, honest to God energon and you two have had like ten cups!"
Out of the three of them, Epps realized it was a bigger situation by far than either teen did. He knew that humans shouldn't have been drinking the stuff at all, knew that it was bad for organics from a conversation with Jazz long ago, and all of them had consumed a few glasses, the teens far more than he himself had. Sam and Miles just shared a confused look at his worried stare.
"So what's it gonna do to us, anyway?" Miles asked, "Are we gonna end up puking everywhere like Will?"
Silence for a few seconds as the Cybertronians looked in between each other. Even in their holoforms they could access their comm links and react to each other based off that, but it didn't make the silence any less annoying for the three.
"We are not sure," Ratchet's holoform said finally, stepping forward. "Only you four have shown any significant difference to it. Every other organic who has drank it has shown distaste after one sip, reportedly those who didn't spit it out immediately felt queasy afterword. William thought it tasted fine, but is now in the process of purging his stomach of it completely. You three have not only drank more than everyone else, but have not shown any signs of it not agreeing with you."
"So..." Miles trailed off, looking at Ratchet wearily.
"Energon is not meant for organics." Prowl stated simply, the only calm face among the holoforms. "One sip will do no harm, though it might cause a bit of an upset. One cup is beyond pressing it. Captain William Lennox is lucky that he is seeming to handle it well through purging his tanks and that it hasn't started to eat through his stomach lining. You three should definitely not be doing so well."
Most of the others who had tried the energon had spit it back out, or barely even managed a swallow. That was also when Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and Wheeljack had been watching. They knew that more then one cup would be bad for a human, but Will had been an interesting change to how their favored organics had reacted, and they had watched with amusement as Will chugged one down.
Either way Ratchet had made sure to have Glen get everyone who had swallowed it together. It appeared soon enough that anyone it didn't agree with just threw up, getting it out of their systems soon after consuming it. There was only about five people who had done so, each of them having consumed about half a glass through sheer will power alone. An eye would be kept on all of them, but for now they were not the most pressing matter. Miles, Epps, Sam, and even Will were. Though Will, who had already emptied his stomach, was second priority to the others.
After finding out what the pink liquid had really been, the three humans had traveled without complaint to the med-bay. They sat quietly through test after test after test for a few hours, Ratchet working hard to make sure they were alright. The medic was nothing but thorough; he even resorted to doing some tests over and over again. They were more than a bit worried about it themselves, but the longer it took the more annoyed the two teens seemed to get.
On Miles' part he had been up all night the night before, having been essentially kidnapped by the Sergeant to read fanfiction, so by the time six hours had passed and it was around two in the morning he had started to get more than a little cranky. He had already accepted the fact that freaky alien shit would happen to him almost directly after finding out about Barricade, so long without sleep meant he had stopped caring for that moment in time. Sam was fairing better than his friend, but he was tired as well and just as unwilling at that point, after six hours of testing, to continue through with much more. They had been poked and prodded, asked to pee in cups, scanned multiple times, and the medic had even considered inducing vomiting before Epps had flat out told him no. Epps, having gone without the same amount of sleep as Miles, was actually more surprising in that he just sat and watched tiredly, remaining relatively quiet outside of the time he had flat out told Ratchet no.
Ratchet and the three humans weren't the only ones in the med-bay. Optimus Prime and Prowl were standing side by side, conversing quietly in Cybertronian. Bumblebee and Barricade sat together on a berth, passing a datapad back and forth to play some game together. Jazz was standing just slightly behind Epps' perch, allowing the Sergeant to lean back on him and nod off a little bit, while Ironhide was with a sleeping Will in the corner.
At some point, Miles and Ratchet had started to fight. It had started with Miles wanting to go to sleep and the medic saying it might not be the best idea as it would disrupt his scans. Of course, that had been at the beginning of their little row, when both had still been responding to the other in a slightly reasonable way. It had since devolved into nothing but the two throwing insults back and forth; Ratchet threatened to turn Miles into a toaster a lot and Miles used Sam's collected list of insults to rip into the medic.
Epps and Sam had watched in mild amusement at first, sharing exasperated looks with each other. When the argument reached the ten minute mark, Sam sighed and glanced over to his Guardian. This got Bumblebee's attention immediately and he gestured the 'bot closer. When the Scout was close enough he whispered in his audial, grinning as he watched Bumblebee's optics dim—a sure sign that he was searching the internet. The blue optics brightened once more and he looked down at Sam with obvious amusement.
He got Epps' attention then, as the older man had been nodding off, and they turned together to watch as Ratchet froze completely. It was quite comical to see, as his servos had been in mid-air to execute a threatening gesture. Miles blinked up at the medic in surprise, before glancing around to make sure that he wasn't the only one seeing the same thing, hazel eyes finally falling on Sam.
"You didn't," Miles whispered in disbelief.
Sam smirked, "I did."
All three humans jumped when they heard a loud crash, turning to see Prowl sprawled out on the floor with his optics dark. Optimus seemed just as surprised as they were, staring down at his SIC wordlessly. As one they turned to stare at Bumblebee, the Autobot practically glowing with glee.
"I sent him the one chapter just focused on him and Ratchet." Bumblebee explained, sounding oddly proud of himself. "He didn't crash after reading that one and just sent me an angry comm, so I sent back one with him and 'Cade."
Barricade raised an optic ridge, glaring at Bumblebee. "Excuse me?"
"The one where they keep Miles as a sex socket?" Epps asked, snickering slightly when Miles glared moodily at him.
"Send me whatever it is you two fools are talking about," Barricade demanded when Bumblebee nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes sir!" Bumblebee mocked.
Sam and Epps paid attention to their optics once more. Bumblebee's dimmed, then Barricade's dimmed. Bumblebee's brightened, but Barricade's stayed dim for a few seconds more. When they brightened again he looked over at Miles.
"Can you really bend your body like that?" The Decepticon Neutral asked, causing Epps and Sam to burst out laughing.
Miles just groaned, starting to climb off the berth that he and Sam had been perched on. He was clearly intent on leaving now that Ratchet seemed to be out for the count, but Optimus put his servo underneath him and trapped the teen on it. Before he could protest, the Prime had lifted him up enough to talk to him directly.
"Bend like what?" Optimus questioned.
Miles just stared at the Prime in a resigned manner. Like before, Bumblebee's optics dimmed as he sent the same fanfiction to his leader that he had to Barricade, then one with the Prime, Miles, and Sam, then one with Prime 'taking care of' all his soldiers, organic and Cybertronian alike.
"Oh, Primus." Optimus vented harshly after a moment.
"I know, big guy." Miles looked at him sympathetically, "And it's only gonna get worse with this lot."
Jazz laughed at that, moving to pick up the downed Tactitian. The Saboteur carefully placed Prowl on a free berth before moving and giving Ratchet a poke in the chassis. The medic didn't respond, but his optics were still dimmed, indicating that he was at least still on the internet.
"Ya know, Ah love how inventive ya humans are." Jazz said, amusement completely evident. "No' only 'ave ya taken ou' the Hatchet, bu' ya scarred poor Optimus, William, an' Prowler. Ah ain't sure if Prowler will ever be able ta look at Miles again."
"I'm thinking of creating my own account," Epps told his Guardian, "I'm personally a huge fan of Barry, Miles, and Prowlie, but I think my OTP has to be Will and Hide."
Ironhide smirked as he watched Epps have to duck to avoid being hit upside the head by one of Miles' shoes, "I think it's hilarious. I didn't know the good Captain could blush."
The laughter at that comment was stopped short by a loud grinding sound, several of them watching as Ratchet seemed to give a disgusted, full body shudder as his optics finally brightened back to their normal shade of blue.
"Frag," Ratchet cursed, sounding oddly strained. "That's it, all of you organics are leaving. I don't care anymore."
"They will be fine then?" Optimus asked, shifting Miles a bit so he could place the teen on his shoulder strut. Miles looked around, enjoying the height.
"To put it simply?" Ratchet asked, sounding more than a bit sarcastic. "I don't know. I don't know how they can take it, or why they can. I think it has something to do with the Allspark."
Even Barricade made an incredulous noise at that, all of the Cybertronians looking at the medic as if he had finally cracked.
"There's a slight contingency of Allspark energy residing in all of them," Ratchet stated, "Actually scan them to see for yourselves. Sam and Epps have the most, which I assume is because they both held the Allspark for longer and for when it was actually activated. Sam has just a bit more than Epps, which would make sense for the difference of power that it put out when they held it. I have absolutely no clue why Miles has any based off of that theory, however, or Will, for that matter, but Miles has more than the Captain."
"So why could I drink more then Epps?" Miles asked.
"I believe the nanobots are giving you an advantage over him," Ratchet responded. "It is Cybertronian technology, after all, even if they are completely new copies form what Wheeljack originally put in you. They are coded to you directly now, but it still gives the energy something to use that can understand it. It's helped to progress you to the point that Sam is at. Or it could just be because you are young and Epps is not, I honestly have no idea."
Optimus looked at Bumblebee, "You were able to commune with the Allspark. What do you think?"
"I am unsure, sir." Bumblebee responded, adding the entirely human gesture of a shrug to his words. "I can sense and commune with the Allspark to an extent, but until Ratchet said something I had no idea-"
The Scout cut himself off when Barricade sent him a comm, suggesting that they discuss it so the humans couldn't hear. Bumblebee agreed with that and switched them over to a private group comm with the rest of the Autobots in the room.
:I had no idea Allspark energy resided in them until Ratchet told us to scan them. I am sensitive to the Allspark, as you all know, but I can not sense anything with them. However, the Allspark shard seems to disperse energy more then the Allspark cube ever did. Trailbreaker mentioned handing it to Miles during the fight, perhaps it leaked through the container and affected Miles. As for the Captain, I believe he held the cube at one point for a very short amount of time, and was around Epps when he used the shard on Jazz. Perhaps we should see if Fig has any energy as well.:
:It doesn't seem ta be havin' any negative effects on 'em,: Jazz sent back.
:Ratchet, what do you truly think?: Bumblebee questioned.
For a moment the medic did not respond, and they turned to see him finally hovering over Prowl and working in an access panel on his helm. The medic waited another minute until he bothered to stop working on the SIC.
:It does not seem to be harming them, as Jazz said.: Ratchet said finally, :In fact, it saved them. That much energon should have and would have killed a normal organic.:
:Any suggestions on what we should do concerning this, then, if it does not appear to be causing them any immediate harm?: Optimus asked.
:There is a human expression Will likes to use,: Ironhide cut in, :Go with the flow. Though he says he mainly uses it in battle, I believe it could be used here as well.:
:I suppose that is all we can d-:
Optimus went to respond, but he stopped short as he felt something hit his helm, coming back to his surroundings in time to see a shoe fall back to the ground. There was silence for a moment before they all looked at Miles, still on the Prime's shoulder.
"Not me this time," Miles replied with a snicker, pointing at Sam.
"Since this is concerning us I believe we have the right to hear whatever you guys are saying." Sam snapped, letting his anger be known. "And I don't give a fuck what any of you say, I'm going home in the morning and so is Miles."
The teen had his hands placed firmly on his hips, standing tall even with one shoe missing. Both Miles and Bumblebee couldn't help but think he looked an awful lot like his mother in that pose. It shouldn't have been effective, but Sam, like his mother, had the uncanny ability to look intimidating when he shouldn't.
"We are sorry for doing that," Optimus apologized, though the Prime didn't bother to sound sincere. "For now you will be allowed to return home, as long as Bumblebee is permitted to scan you a few times per day."
Optimus set Miles down on the berth beside Sam. He watched as the teen looked at his friend, then all of them, and then repeated his looks. It was one of the first times he had actually seen him look unsure, almost unwilling, about something.
"What is it, Miles?" Optimus encouraged.
"I want to tell my parents about you." Miles replied, "The whole thing with NEST. I think enough stuff has happened at this point to constitute that, after all. And if anything does happen to me health wise they could be some of the first to notice if I'm not with Sam."
"Ohh, ohh, I wanna come!" Epps exclaimed cheerfully, causing Miles to give him an incredulous look.
Sam grinned, "I do think it would be good if you came, Epps. Also, Bumblebee, Barricade, and Prowl. My guardian and his two guardians."
"I am not his guardian." Barricade narrowed his optics.
"Unofficial guardian," Sam just waved a hand dismissively, "It counts."
Optimus nodded, "I shall come too. It sounds like a good idea."
Ratchet kicked them all out of his med-bay then. The medic would spend the next few days without recharge, dutifully making sure that his organic comrades wouldn't be harmed by the energon if he could help it. He would be relieved to find that only Will, Sam, Epps, and Miles had drank more then the recommended organic amount of energon. Even more relieved that only Will had reacted badly, and that it had been taken care of by purging his systems. After that he would try his hardest to predict what the Allspark energy would do.
After nearly half an hour of debate, which took place on the way to Tranquility, it was decided that Miles would collect his parents and take them to the look out. That way the Autobots and Decepticon Neutral could transform without fear of any immediate unwanted organics around. Optimus would go there to wait for them.
That just left three Cybertronians to actually go into the city itself. Sam rode in Bumblebee, Miles drove himself and Epps in his own car, and Prowl and Barricade used holoforms to make sure that no one was suspicious about them. Barricade and Prowl made sure to park in separate but nearby places in the neighborhood, Miles complaining that two cop cars appearing at his house that early in the morning could raise a lot of questions if there were any nosy neighbors.
The Scout got there first, seeing as he didn't actually have to park away from the house, and Sam already outside of him and waiting by the time Barricade's and Prowl's holoforms walked up. Sam went over to talk to Barricade in a low voice, smirking when the 'con nodded to what he had said. Then he went over to Prowl, muttering quietly to him as well, and the three walked up to Miles' front door together, Prowl standing in between Sam and Barricade with a mildly bewildered expression on his face.
Bumblebee just watched in mild amusement. Obviously his teen was up to something, but he didn't know what, so he had to wait. He watched as Sam knocked on the front door, it opening soon after to reveal Miles' mother, Elizabeth Lancaster.
Sam smiled at her, "Hey Lizzie, it's good to see you again!"
"What have I told you about just calling me mom or grandma, Sammie?" Elizabeth grinned, reaching out and ruffling Sam's hair. She then turned a sweet smile on to Barricade and Prowl, "Officer, always nice to see you. Who's the fine young man beside you?"
"My partner, Perry." Barricade told her with a smirk, wrapping an arm around Prowl's shoulders. "He's Miles' boyfriend."
In the blink of an eye Barricade and Prowl were gone from the front porch, dragged inside by Elizabeth. Sam smirked as he heard the 'con cussing him out, the only thing he was able to hear before the door closed. He walked back over to his Guardian, wearing a shit eating grin.
Bumblebee raised an eyebrow at him, "Do I want to know?"
"I'm just putting the fear of a mother in them; Lizzie can be worse then my mom sometimes." Sam replied innocently, grinning when Bumblebee started to laugh. "I told 'Cade that he'd be getting Miles back for Mason if he told his mom that. The poor fragger believed me."
"You're evil," Bumblebee grinned, "And I'm extremely happy I have you as my Charge."
The two watched as Miles pulled up, Epps and the teen getting out of his car. Sam went over to distract them for a bit, Bumblebee helping to keep the conversation flowing for a bit, because he enjoyed it when his charge was mischievous. He was grinning as he listened in to the humans, but it faded when Prowl commed him.
"Samuel, what is a rolling pin? Prowl seems terrified by it at the moment." Bumblebee asked, sounding confused. He didn't bother looking it up on the internet because he knew his teen would tell him.
At that Miles turned a mildly horrified and completely accusing look on his friend, "What the fuck did you do?"
"Had Barricade say Prowl was your illicit lover." Sam replied, smirking as Epps started to laugh.
"Sam!" Miles ran into the house, the two humans and one Autobot holoform following after him quickly.
"Miles!" Sam whined, "Don't ruin it just yet!"
"MOM PUT DOWN THE ROLLING PIN!" Miles yelled as he turned the corner to the kitchen, ignoring Sam completely.
Elizabeth blinked at her son, smiling innocently because she knew she had been caught red handed. Prowl and Barricade had been sat down at the kitchen table next to each other. From there she had gotten out her best rolling pin, threatening them with it and doing her best to loom over them menacingly despite the fact she was smaller than the both of them.
Prowl and Barricade were looking at her with wide eyes, having scooted even closer together when she waved her weapon of choice above their heads. Neither wanted to admit to being scared by an organic, but awhile ago Bumblebee had managed to talk the both of them into adding on human pain receptors, so they could feel more like their organic friends. That wouldn't do them as well if they were purposefully attacked with a wooden object by a crazed organic creator.
"Baby," Elizabeth cooed, setting the rolling pin down and moving over to her son. She hugged him, "I was just warning them not to hurt you."
"Mom, Barrica—Barry, was joking." Miles said a bit weakly, unable to refuse his mother a hug back. "The government thing I have going on? I've been given permission to explain it to you and dad, so I came here."
"Oh, that." Elizabeth tutted, stroking Miles' hair. "I already know. They're all giant aliens, though a bit more robotic than most of us expected. Prowl is the Second in Command of the Autobots, the blonde one is Bumblebee, another Autobot that doubles as Sam's car, and then Barricade is a Decepticon Neutral."
Miles stared at his mother, his shock more than obvious. Sam and Barricade, too, gave the older Lancaster a gobsmacked expression. Prowl seemed to be even more terrified now that he knew that the female had been willing to attack him anyway.
"Us mothers have to stick together," Lizzie said with a small smile, "Judy is rather helpful when I need to find something out and it happens to concern Sammie, too."
"How long have you known?" Miles asked, still staring at her with a shocked expression.
"Since I found out it involved Samuel," Lizzie replied easily, "So for almost the entire time that Sam himself knew, I expect."
"So what was yesterday?" Barricade growled.
Elizabeth laughed, "I wasn't sure if you robots actually had birthdays or not, and you've always been rather sweet. Easy way to check up on my boy, too."
"We were in the middle of a meeting," Prowl informed her with a mild glare. He wasn't stupid enough to continue the angry look when Elizabeth caught his stare and actually glared back, nor was he stupid enough to continue talking.
"I don't care, I wanted to see my son." Elizabeth responded, moving a few steps away from her son and towards the 'bot in her annoyance. "I am a mother. And mother's do what we need to protect our children. If my baby ever gets hurt because of you aliens then I fully intend to make sure you suffer. You all sleep at some point and your interiors can catch fire. I imagine those windows of yours can be broken as well, yes?"
"Stronger than bullet proof glass, actually." Bumblebee supplied, nearly running behind Sam when Lizzie's annoyed look turned on him.
"Lizzie, I love you more then I ever did before." Sam sighed contentedly, reaching a hand out to rest it protectively on Bumblebee's arm despite his words. "Not even my mom threatened them this much."
Elizabeth laughed, "Who do you think was it that told me to use the threats that I did? She didn't know enough to be effective at that time, but now we both do."
"I hardly see how threatening us achieves anything," Prowl protested softly.
"It gets my point across, though." Lizzie smiled, grabbing the rolling pin and putting it back in it's rightful place. "Now, I believe that a visit is in order. My husband and I are interested in seeing this NEST place; I'm sure that Judy and Ron would like to come along as well."
"You guys are doomed," Epps whistled. "Two protective mothers with husbands who know better than to stand in the way? Completely screwed."
"I wouldn't say that," Elizabeth tsk-ed. "But Barricade, it would be awfully nice if you could give us a ride there and then maybe show us that tall form of yours?"
"Of course," Barricade responded kindly, showing that it wasn't just the youngest Lancaster who he seemed to favor.