Non-Sequitur: a conclusion, event, or statement that does not logically follow from what happened previously.
Awareness Bringer: Eheh. Oh, it'll work eventually. Probably not til after the timeskip, though
Blackdove Whitedove: Ah... Sorry...
LegionnaireBlaze: Not quite. Sorry.
Unca Bob: Thank you. And no one had mentioned that, so thanks!
gamelover41592: Thank you very much.
Theburper: Someone from BW? What's BW? Or did you mean WB— Whitebeard?
Smile4the-World: Aww... Thank you very much. *smiles*
Taiski: Maybe not as much as you might think.
FanatischrLeser: Nope!
NightmareKnight1: Thank you very much. I'm sorry to hear you're not a fan of movie chapters— I plan to do a fair few, so I apologize. And while Toma's not a cat boy, I am using a type of small wildcat as his motif, so you're still pretty close. *looks up Tigrex* Oh wow... Um... Maybe when he's big Ruatha will be like that. *bows* Sorry about the cliffhanger.
Zyrothe: Thank you very much! ^_^
Dragondancer81: Thanks!
Leikiz: Thank you. ^_^
Lightsbane1905: Wearing gloves might help if they were made of the right material. And yes, Robin is distancing herself faster than in canon— largely because she found the Straw Hats getting attached faster than in canon and herself warming to them at an alarming rate.
TiamatisObscure: Nope!
Gerbilfriend: Heheh, thanks. Jones is usually the one getting hurt, aye, but others will be having their time to bleed very soon...
Miki-chan13: Yes, it is the first review you've left. Thank you very much... And I'd say I'm sorry about that little blip, but those things are necessary for one of my upcoming plans, so sorry, but you'll just have to wait and see. I'm pretty sure it's not what you're worrying about, though.
rosewillow narusasufangirl: Ding! You are correct! And for the moment, it's just called "Scream." That's actually what the Dovahzul word he was shouting means.
InternetJunkie: Thank you very much. Is this soon enough for you?
starelight: Thank you very much. And you're welcome. Buoyancy... Hmm, I hadn't thought of that. She'd have to have good shoes to make sure her feet didn't get wet, but it should work. Thanks.
Shugopop: Ding! Another correct answer! And thank you very much!
Keiolsha: Thank you very much. Here's the answer to your questions.
Kakusei: Thank you very much.
Insanity Lord: Yeah, I know I'm mean to Jones. But Jones is me, so it's alright. Right? Sorry... Now I've confused myself.
Azurai Wolf: Nope! To both!
Ninuhuju: He does... And one of your guesses is correct.
Cheb: Thank you very much.
A: Sorry... I'm glad you like Toma, though.
Questions: Sorry for not showing that... Maybe something in this chapter will make up for it a bit?
xanothos: Thank you. And... Sorry?
3D.2why: Sorry...
Snowgirl7589: Sorry about that.
The Keeper of Worlds: Nope. Sorry!
Draco Oblivion: Thank you very much! And sorry about Sanji— I'm not always good at writing the way his reactions would've changed, especially when there's a girl around he canonically goes gaga for. I'm working on it. *bows deeply*
Sage McGavin: You'll see.
KCHS16: Nope! Neither of those! Sorry!
ZhaWarudo: Well, that's... kinda rude. If you felt that way, why bother to write a comment before you left?
Guest (November 2): No, don't worry, I wasn't planning on having Robin drink vodka. And... No, the honorifics weren't there before. Sorry... I was using them to start having her try to distance herself from the crew, since they've been drawing her in faster than in canon. *bows deeply* I'm very sorry for misusing things— I have no Russian friends or family I could ask, you see, and so had to rely on what I read online. I'll talk more about this in a note at the end of the chapter— you've reminded me of something very important, for which I thank you.
FairyGirl960: Thank you very much. You need wait no longer.
iAmOsiris: Thank you very much! And you're welcome!
"Mimble wimble…"
Usopp dropped his rope and tools in favour of drawing his slingshot, one hand fumbling around in his duffel bag for bullets. Johnny and Yosaku squeaked and readied their spray guns. Nami followed the pattern, aiming the Clima-Tact at the incoming boat. Even Sanji snuffed out his cigarette and tapped one foot on the deck, preparing for a fight.
Robin's face went pale when she saw who was approaching. She immediately went belowdecks, her hands shaking. I flinched. Yeah… If he wanted to take her, we wouldn't really be able to stop him. Not that that knowledge would keep us from trying. I drew my pistol and cocked it. Even if my aim was crap, my luck was good enough that I might be able to punch a hole in his boat. Unaware of the danger, Ruatha squirmed his way in between my legs to make it almost look like I was sitting on him, wide blue eyes staring up at me in a plea for attention.
Ghin pulled out his flintlocks, but he was trembling badly, even paler than Robin. He could barely keep a hold on his guns, let alone aim them straight. His eyes were wide, unfocused; he was seeing things that weren't there. Things that had happened in the past, rather than things as they currently were, I'd wager. Although history repeating itself was a very real possibility where this man was involved.
For a few brief seconds, Lisa stared out at the approaching boat in confusion. Then realization hit her like a truck. The little girl squeaked, grabbing her paintbrush and examining the colours she had available. She settled on Hallucination Hot Pink, and from the looks of it, she'd picked out a bindrune to go with it.
Chopper looked around, confused. He was the only one besides Ruatha who didn't recognize the man approaching. "Um… Guys? Who's that?" When no one answered, he sniffed at the air. His ears laid flat, and he started to shake. "He smells like steel and leather and chemicals and blood, and he as predator eyes!"
Drifter snarled, the fur on his tail fluffing up. Don't worry, Doctor. We won't let him eat you. Geier shrieked her agreement, flaring her wings.
Apparently, Ghin wasn't able to hold on to his composure any longer. His flintlocks clattered loudly as they fell to the deck, his shaking hands unable to maintain a decent grip. My big brother took a single, staggering step back before realizing there was nowhere to run. A strangled moan fought its way up from his chest. With no option available for flight, Ghin scooped Chopper into his arms and hugged him tight, like a scared child with their favourite teddy bear. The reindeer returned the embrace in kind.
And really, in any other situation, that would've been adorable. I rested my free hand on Ghin's shoulder to offer some comfort, but my focus remained on the approaching boat.
Luffy stared at the newcomer, back tense, fists clenched. "Zoro, don't-!"
"I know, Captain. Not this time; I'm not ready. Yet." The bosun's eyes flashed; though he hadn't drawn them, his hands were on his swords.
Toma glanced from Zoro to the approaching boat and back again, eyes going wide with awe. "Sensei… Have you met before?"
"Yeah. A few months ago, he handed me my ass. But I managed to impress him enough that he left me alive to try again." Zoro scowled out over the water. "Dammit… This is too early though."
Ace wandered over to see what the rest of us were looking at. Unlike my crewmates, his reaction was… kind of flat. "Oh. It's just Shanks' pet Warlord." The freckled pirate shook his head. "Geez, guys, for a moment you had me thinking Gramps had shown up or something."
Green flames danced in the breeze, their reflections shimmering over the water. Mihawk was close enough by now for us to see one golden eye twitch at Ace's words. Close enough to read the letters painted on the hull of his boat in dark gold. The black, coffin-shaped boat drew nearer still, until it was close enough for its occupant to throw up a line, securing the Sable Cross to the rail of the Going Merry.
A great leap carried Mihawk up onto our deck, his coat fluttering around him. He moved too quickly for even Usopp to try and get off a shot, landing in the middle of our group and… Raising his hands?
"I come in peace, this time. So long as none of your crew attack, I will not draw my blades." Mihawk shot a pointed look at Zoro as he said this. When no one made a move, the world's greatest swordsman nodded in satisfaction and let his hands fall to his sides.
Ghin let out a cracked groan, either not believing or not registering Mihawk's words. His hands balled into fists in Chopper's fur, knuckles going white. The doctor whimpered. But at least Chopper seemed to be calming down, which… Ghin really wasn't. His fear was understandable, though, given what had happened to his last crew at Mihawk's hands.
Toma's eyes turned into stars; the boy looked like he was about to either faint or go full fanboy at any minute. Gods above and below… Well, as long as he didn't go full Barto. Only one man can pull off going full Barto.
Luffy marched over and planted himself between Zoro and Mihawk, forcing both swordsmen to look at him. Folding his arms, my captain snorted like an angry bull. "What're you doing here, Hawky? You can't fight Zoro yet!"
"Trust me, that wasn't even remotely on my mind." Mihawk's face was scrunched up as if he was in pain. Which… He was the world's greatest swordsman, visiting Paradise. Why would he be in pain? "No, Straw Hat, I boarded your ship at the behest of another. Though why he couldn't come himself… And I'm in the area on business of my own, anyway."
Warning bells began to ring in my head. Mihawk was one of the Shichibukai- who, exactly, had the authority to order him after some rookie crew in Paradise? The government… But how high up did you have to be to order the Warlords? Had someone figured out who Luffy's father was? Was- was I not careful enough when I told people at Loguetown? Had someone overheard? My heart sped up, adrenaline flooding my system as I panicked.
When Mihawk reached inside his flowing coat, I aimed my pistol at his head. The Shichibukai shot me a dirty look. "I'm not going to pull a weapon, Dragon Girl. I swear on my honour."
I hesitated for a moment, then put my pistol away with shaking hands. Shooting Mihawk probably wasn't a good idea- even if the bullet didn't go wide, the world's greatest swordsman probably had Kenbunshoku Haki; he'd be able to dodge or block, and his retaliation… None of us would be able to stop him, except maybe Ace. Maybe.
Mihawk's hand re-emerged from his coat, holding a large, dull-eyed paisley snail. A visual den-den mushi. The tired gastropod blinked at everyone, then nibbled on the hem of Mihawk's sleeve.
Luffy tapped one foot on the deck. "You didn't tell me what you're doing here, Hawky. If you're not here to fight Zoro, why're you on my ship?"
A shiver of something- possibly disgust- ran up Mihawk's spine. "Trust me, Straw Hat, if I were left to myself, I would be nowhere near this part of Paradise. As I said before, I am here at the behest of another. One who I wish would have come himself… Possibly his hangover rendered him incapable of sailing straight. He claims to know you."
Luffy's frown deepened. "Who?"
"Red-Haired Shanks."
My captain looked torn. It was easy to guess what he was thinking- he was angry and distrustful of Mihawk, who had nearly killed Zoro in the past, but he also wanted to know what Shanks was doing. Rubber skin turned red as Luffy frowned with concentration.
"Why would Shanks send you here? And why would you listen to him? How would you even know him? Aren't you one of those Squeaky Bucket things? Pirates who work for the marines?"
Eye twitching, Mihawk grit his teeth. His words came out as barely more than a hiss. "I assure you, everything I say is true…
X
Mihawk stepped onto the sand, gazing about with distaste. Scattered around him on the beach- and further inland in the forests of the island- were a few dozen insensate pirates. They clung to each other, snoring, their breath reeking of booze. Their clothing was stained and rumpled, their hair matted with what appeared to be spilled beer and thrown food. One man was mumbling in his sleep, hugging tight to a rather traumatized tiger, while another was attempting to make out with a coconut in his sleep.
Following the trail of inebriated men into the shadows of the trees, Mihawk wished he'd thought to send a letter instead, or maybe give his old friend a snail call. He really did not need to see a naked Lucky Roo flopped over a log, ass in the air. And… What exactly was Yasopp doing to that pineapple? Mihawk's brain temporarily shut down to keep him from thinking about it, not coming back online until the abominable sight was safely hidden behind a clump of towering ferns.
Finally, Mihawk found the man he was looking for. The figure was propped more or less upright, leaning back against a log, white shirt stained with what looked like chocolate and pomegranate juice. Hair as red as blood stuck up in odd spikes, sticky and dark with spilled beer. Scruffy stubble of the same shade surrounded an open, snoring mouth. One hand both held a nearly empty beer bottle and clung to the edge of the black cloak the man was ineffectually using as a blanket.
Of course.
Rolling his eyes, Mihawk delivered a swift kick to the sleeping pirate's ribs. "Get up! If I'm going to come all the way out to this abominable backwater you call home, you can at least do me the courtesy of being conscious while I'm here!"
"No refunds for products damaged by forced maintenance..." Shanks blinked blearily up at Mihawk, still mostly asleep. Then the red-haired pirate abruptly leapt to his feet, dropping his bottle and cloak as he groped for his sword. Only, his sword wasn't on him. Nor was his sword belt. Nor were his pants. "Gyeh! What?! Who?!"
Grimacing, Mihawk fought the urge to facepalm. Why… Just why was he friends with this man, again? The swordsman covered his eyes as Shanks swung this way and that, desperately looking for his weapon.
After about three and a half minutes of half-nude shenanigans, Shanks finally seemed to realize who had woken him. He slung an arm over Mihawk's shoulders, pressing himself uncomfortably close to the cringing Warlord. "Hey Hawky! What're you doing here? Come for a fight? Just gimme a bit- my sword wandered off again- I gotta go find 'im."
"I do not duel one-armed has-beens," Mihawk ground out, "Especially when they're not wearing pants."
It took a moment for the swordsman's words to register with said one-armed has-been. Once they had, Shanks immediately removed his arm from Mihawk's shoulders. There were a few seconds of crashing and rustling noises, followed by a triumphant shout.
"Aha! There're the little buggers!" Next came more rustling, this time accompanied by thudding, staggering steps, hopping, and cursing. "God fucking dammit! You'd think that after only having one arm for ten years I woulda gotten better at this!" Crsh-ud. "Yeowch! Shit!"
Shortly thereafter, Shanks reached over and poked the hand that was covering Mihawk's eyes. "S'okay now; I'm decent. So, if you're not here for a duel, why are you here, Hawky?"
Slowly lowering his hand, Mihawk was met with the sight of Shanks right in his face, grinning broadly. The red-haired pirate was wearing an obnoxiously bright pair of pink shorts; one of his shins was bleeding slightly from where he'd bashed it on something while attempting to dress himself. Still an eyesore, but no longer of the sort that made Mihawk want to gouge his own eyes out with Yoru.
Seriously, how had this man become one of the most feared on the seas, and why was Mihawk friends with him?
"I came because recently I found myself in the East Blue." Mihawk shoved Shanks none-too-gently backwards, out of his personal bubble. "I met someone interesting while I was there-someone I thought you might wish to hear about."
"What did Garp do this time?" Shanks asked with a tired roll of his eyes. Mihawk shook his head and smirked.
"Not Garp, although I believe there may be some relation. A young boy just recently set out to sea with a few friends. He had a scar under his left eye and a very familiar straw hat. Reminded me of that story you always tell."
Shanks face lit up like the sun, grin growing so broad he started to remind Mihawk of the captain he once served under. The redhead bounced in place. "You saw Luffy? I'm glad he's made friends; always was hard for the poor guy, even though he was such a sweet kid. And they've set out to sea? Wow! Little guy must've finally learned subtlety if he's managed not to get a bounty yet! I woulda thought he'd've run out and beat up some noble asshole and gotten a price on his head right away!"
Remembering the way the rubber boy had leapt at him, eyes blazing, Mihawk shook his head. "I believe it's his friends, not Straw Hat himself, who have mastery of subtlety."
"Tell me everything!" Shanks' bouncing intensified. "Everything about Lu and his crew! Who are they? What're they like? Where did you meet them?"
Mihawk rolled his eyes. "I wasn't even there for half an hour; there's not much I can say. Although his swordsman was very interesting." He was unable to help the small, genuine smile that spread across his face. Yes, that little Rabbit would do great things one day- that, or die in glorious battle.
Shanks didn't seem happy with this answer. The feared Yonko pouted and whined, increasing his friend's disbelief at his status. "But you saaaaaaaaaaaaw them, didn't you? Tell me! Tell me, tell me, tell me!"
The one-armed pirate flung himself on Mihawk in an awkward hug that reeked of beer. Attempts to pry him off only resulted in more whining. "Pllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaassssssse tell me! Please, please, please!"
Well, at least he had learned manners now. Sort of. Last time they'd been in a situation like this, a pouting Shanks had threatened to blast Mihawk with Haoshoku Haki. Not that even he would do something like that over something so trivial, but still…
"Very well," Mihawk sighed. Those words magically detached the whining redheaded limpet from his shoulders as Shanks went back to sitting on a log and bouncing with excitement. "But as I say, I wasn't even in their presence for half an hour; there's truly not much I can tell you."
"Doesn't matter! I wanna know everything you know about them!"
Mihawk nodded his acquiescence. "To start, I think you made the right choice with that boy. Straw Hat may be small, but he has a lot of fire in him. He tried to punch me in the face after I'd beaten his swordsman- failed, naturally, but he tried." There was also something about the rubber boy that had the same huggable quality as a kitten, but Mihawk didn't mention that. The last thing he needed was Shanks going off- either about how adorable Straw Hat had been as a child, or about how Mihawk actually had the emotional capacity to want to hug something.
So sue him; he was a cat person.
"His swordsman is the one who interests me most, naturally. A little older than Straw Hat, muscular, green hair… He fights with three swords, which isn't something I've seen someone attempt with any success in the past. He challenged me practically as soon as I docked at the Baratie."
Shanks groaned. "Hawky, you didn't kill Lu's swordsman, did you? He'll never forgive you if you did, and if you think I'm bad once I get an idea in my head, you should see-!"
"I said I beat him," Mihawk snapped, "Not that I killed him. It would be a pity to end such a promising little rabbit so early in his life. He has a great deal of potential, and the heart and honour to match."
"Oh…" Shanks deflated. "Okay then. Sorry. Continue."
"There were two others with swords as well, though I would hardly call them swordsmen." Mihawk couldn't help the sneer curling his lip. "More like shrieking birds. One with dark skin and black hair, the other pale-skinned with lighter hair cropped close. They wore matching blue and green trench coats and didn't seem to be of much use, beyond retrieving people who had fallen into the water."
"Well, Luffy does need someone to do that." Shanks swung his feet back and forth, kicking at the log.
"Indeed…" Mihawk hadn't actually seen the rubber boy fall in, but he'd take Shanks' word for it that it was bound to happen. Straw Hat was a bit of a reckless idiot.
"There was another boy too- long nose, dark skin, extraordinarily curly hair. There was something familiar about him… Yasopp's son, I think. He didn't do anything at all, that I saw, but he carried a slingshot. A ranged fighter, I believe; likely Straw Hat's gunner."
Shanks nodded, eyes fixed on Mihawk with rapt attention. Somewhere behind the ferns, Yasopp let out a whoop that turned into a snore.
Mihawk paused for a moment to shudder. That poor, innocent pineapple…
Nope, suppressing that. "And he has two girls that I saw as well- girls who looked like they might not be half bad in a fight, which puts him one step above you or Whitebeard as far as I'm concerned. One of them, a redhead with a tattoo on her shoulder, was moving his ship when I got there. Probably his sailing master, since she was doing so alone."
"Wait…" Shanks frowned. "How'd you know it was Luffy's ship?"
"There was a Jolly Roger wearing a straw hat flying from the mainmast."
"Eheh… Fair enough." The red-haired pirate rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "And the second girl?"
"Younger than the others, blonde, looked like she wanted to hide." Mihawk reached up to fiddle with the brim of his hat. "At first I wrote her off as useless- a sister or girlfriend to one of the boys, perhaps, who joined without knowing what being a pirate means. But she watched my duel with the swordsman through a warrior's eyes."
It took several long minutes after Mihawk had stopped talking for Shanks to realize he was done. The redhead let out a little whine of disappointment. "That's all?"
"Yes. Or at least, all I saw."
Shanks groaned. "Tell me you at least know some of the shenanigans they've been getting up to- I need some new stories for next time I see Whitebeard! Do you know how hard it is to compete for the title of best embarrassing dad with a man who has over a thousand sons?!"
"I do not."
And really, Mihawk wondered if Shanks was overestimating his position in Straw Hat's life. Yes, he was very attached to the boy, almost obsessed it sometimes seemed, but they hadn't even seen each other in ten years. And even when they had, Shanks was barely in the child's life for a few days at a time, over the course of a year or two at most. Although… Straw Hat certainly seemed to treasure that hat, so perhaps…
Suddenly Mihawk found himself imagining Shanks as a father. The image was… Surprisingly not traumatizing. Although the swordsman found himself pitying any theoretical offspring's significant others should romance ever come into the situation.
Groaning again, Shanks stared up at Mihawk with pleading eyes. "You at least have pictures, right? Your duel with an East Blue kid was covered in a paper somewhere? A newspaper I could cut stuff out of?"
"It was at the Baratie. There were no reporters in sight." Mihawk was amazed. Shanks was… Actually kind of into this dad thing. Despite Straw Hat not being his son. In fact, the swordsman wouldn't have been surprised if Shanks was secretly keeping a scrapbook of what few pictures and stories he had from when Straw Hat was a child. Maybe the Yonko needed to go out and find himself a girl, have an actual son…
Actually, given that the only girl Mihawk could remember Shanks showing interest in for any length of time was that barkeeper from the East Blue, the Yonko may very well end up adopting Straw Hat even if he did marry her. She probably wouldn't object; she had been the boy's primary caretaker. Mihawk made a face. It just went to show how often Shanks talked about the boy, that he remembered such details.
Shanks had stopped his whining and bouncing, his face going serious. Lost in thought, Mihawk didn't notice right away. By the time he did, it felt like dark hazel eyes were trying to bore a hole in his forehead. Not trying hard- there was no Haki behind the stare- but trying.
"Mihawk," the red-haired pirate growled, "You will go get me pictures."
"What? No. I'm no one's errand boy- not the government's, and most certainly not yours."
Lower lip trembling, Shanks tried a different tactic. "But… I want pictures. I need pictures…"
"I said no!"
"Please? I'll buy you that really expensive wine you like- the one made for the Celestial Dragons. Eight whole casks of it!"
Mihawk shook his head. "Tempting, but the answer is still no. And you pronounced steal wrong."
"But- But- But- Pictures!" Shanks flung himself on Mihawk again, clinging tighter with one arm than an octopus fishman could with eight. "Please, Hawky? Please, please, please, please, please?"
"Go see Straw Hat and his crew yourself, if it's that important to you!" The swordsman tried to shove his friend away. He met with zero success.
"But I can't!" Shanks whined. "We made a promise that we'd meet again when he's a great pirate! He's not a great pirate yet! He doesn't even have a bounty! That's why I need pictures- he doesn't have a bounty poster! I wanna see my little Anchor all grown up!"
"Are you still drunk?" Mihawk demanded in disgust. Shanks paused in his whining.
"Um… Maybe a little?"
Oh, that explained so much.
"But it doesn't matter if I'm drunk- I still want pictures! And you need to go get them for me! Please? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please!"
"NO!"
Mihawk had to fight not to growl. Shanks had somehow managed to pin his arms so he couldn't reach Yoru, couldn't threaten the Yonko with the black blade to make him let go. This was intolerable!
"Please! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!" Shanks paused for breath. "You know I'll just keep doing this until you agree, right? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!"
"I refuse!"
"And I refuse your refusal! Please, Hawky, just this once?"
"That's what you said when you talked me into helping you crash Garp's 65th birthday party!" With only one recourse left to him, Mihawk headbutted Shanks in the forehead. It did absolutely nothing to make him let go- of course. A skull made of seastone was practically required to have survived growing up on the pirate king's ship. "I've learned my lesson! Never again! I refuse to acquiesce to your request!"
"Then you leave me no choice." Shanks' face morphed into a disturbing grin. Still not releasing Mihawk, he turned his head to the side and yelled for one of his men. "Hey Blatto! Can you get your-?"
"Alright, alright, I'll do it." Mihawk could feel himself going pale. He never wanted to see those things again. Not after… Nope, suppressing that. "Just… Don't. You know why I dislike…"
"Yeah, yeah. Sorry. But this is important!" Shanks didn't sound sorry at all. But at least he was letting go now, which was all Mihawk cared about at the moment. The swordsman took a step back and brushed the wrinkles out of his jacket.
"I suppose I shall be leaving immediately then. Good day to you; I'll return when I have what you requested. And Shanks?"
"Uh-huh?"
"Never threaten me with that again." Mihawk drew Yoru and pointed the blade at the center of Shanks' forehead.
"Okay… Fine…"
He didn't expect Shanks to remember that promise forever, but it would at least hold for a few years. Satisfied, Mihawk returned Yoru to its place on his back. He spun on his heel and began making his way back to his boat, doing his best not to look at any of the Red-Hair Pirates as he did so. It was… harder than he would've liked. They were everywhere.
As he cast off, Mihawk heard Shanks shouting behind him. "You're not even going to stay for the party?"
"How can you have a party right now? Most of your men are still unconscious from the last."
"Luffy's set out to sea! And he's making all kinds of cute little friends! How could I not have a party?"
Mihawk shook his head, unable to respond. Not even waiting until he returned with pictures… Shanks just wanted another excuse to get drunk. Although there was no doubt in his mind that Shanks actually did care for the little rubber boy, and truly was excited that Straw Hat was finally setting out.
When he was about a hundred meters from shore, something heavy and squishy hit the world's greatest swordsman in the back of the head. Reaching up, he peeled a large visual den-den off his hat. It squeaked at him before retreating into its pink paisley shell. Shanks' voice echoed from the island behind him.
"Oi Hawky! You forgot something!"
Sighing, Mihawk fought back the urge to retaliate. Some days… Some days he found himself really regretting his association with the happy-go-lucky Yonko. But at least Shanks had good taste in booze.
He fully expected that wine when he came back.
X
"Of course," Mihawk added as his story wrapped up, "I would never actively seek you out for so trivial a reason. Maybe cooling his heels for a few months would teach that drunkard to do his own dirty work. No, I was on my way to Asuka Island to investigate the legends of Shichiseiken, the cursed sword- unless my library fails me, it was supposed to awaken about this time, if it exists at all."
Zoro scowled, one hand resting on the hilt of Wado Ichimonji. "You're late. We already dealt with it."
"I can see that." Mihawk's gaze panned over our entire crew, taking in cuts, bandages, bruises, and burns. "Good job; I wouldn't usually expect something like that from a bunch of rookies."
I, meanwhile, was still stuck on something Mihawk had said when he was telling his story. My eye twitched. Of all the… I glared at Mihawk, jumping into the conversation before anyone else could react to his story. "You… You told Shanks I was the youngest member of the crew… Tabarnak! I'm 24, ya bloody Spaniard!"
Golden eyes flicked momentarily in my direction. "Oh. My apologies. Trust me, someday you'll be glad you look so young, Dragon Girl."
And then there was poor Luffy, who looked… confused. He rubbed his temples, face scrunching up and turning red as he thought. "But… I have Dad… And if Whitebeard's Ace's Pops, then he's my Pops too… And Shanks… How many dads do I have?"
The rubber boy proceeded to have a mini meltdown, tugging his hat over his ears. Alarmed, Ace reached out and placed a hand on Luffy's shoulder. Sanji huffed.
"Why're you so worked up, Shitty Rubber? Back in the desert, you were all for heaping extra shitty dads on the rest of us." The cook lit a cigarette, his visible eyebrow rising. Luffy's face faded to a normal colour with a sheepish chuckle.
"Shishishishishi… Oh yeah…" Luffy blinked. "So, um… What do you do with a dad anyway?"
Zoro shrugged. Ace opened his mouth, closed it, and shook his head, torn between his love of Whitebeard and his hatred of Roger. Me… I had no idea what to say. And the rest of the crew seemed to be in the same boat- unable, unwilling, or unsure how to explain. Not that it really mattered much. No matter how many father figures we may have, none of them were here.
Mihawk gazed around at us, patiently waiting for everyone to calm down. Once everyone was paying attention to him again, rather than Luffy's ex-dad-stential crisis- apologies for that horrible pun- the world's greatest swordsman tapped his finger against the shell of his visual den-den.
"Alright. That's enough. Line up now please; the sooner I get pictures for that drunkard, the sooner I can leave and the happier we'll all be."
Everyone paused and stared at Mihawk- although I think in Ghin's case, he'd never really stopped. Lisa cocked her head to the side. "Line up?"
"For pictures," Mihawk bit out irritably. "I need you to all line up for a photograph- tallest in the back, little ones up front. Quickly please."
His tone of voice made me jump. Instincts honed from years of figure skating and school pictures had me automatically looking for my place, even before everyone else moved. Most of the others just stared at Mihawk, still confused. And then there was my brother…
Ghin was starting to rock back and forth where he stood now, unable to move. His eyes were fixed on Mihawk, but glassed over, unseeing. Breath came in rapid pants; Ghin seemed to be in the middle of a panic attack. Merde. Dammit, dammit, dammit- I wanted to help, but I had no idea what to do. I'd never seen a panic attack from this side before. Uncertain, I placed a hand on Ghin's shoulder and squeezed, hoping the contact would steady him.
My touch just made him jump and start panting even more. Merde.
Chopper squirmed in the rigger's arms. My brother loosened his grip slightly, but didn't put the reindeer down. Wiggling around until he was facing Ghin, the doctor placed a hoof on the rigger's sweaty forehead.
"Oh dear… Ghin," Chopper's voice was firm, but still soft and calm. "Ghin, I need you to listen to me. No one else, just me. Breathe with me. In through your nose, out through your mouth."
The little doctor took slow, exaggerated breaths, snuffling loudly for Ghin to hear. It took a minute for them to synchronize. Once they had, Chopper nodded to himself. One hoof rubbed soothing circles on the back of Ghin's hand.
"Good. That's very good. Now sit down. You'll feel better if you sit down."
I think Chopper meant for Ghin to find himself a spot on a barrel, or maybe go into the galley. Instead, my brother lowered himself to the ground right in the middle of the deck. He was still rocking back and forth, but not as aggressively as when he'd been standing. Chopper sighed.
"Sorry… I didn't realize how frightened you were at first. Can you tell me what you're afraid of? It's okay if you can't. But if you can, it might help me make things better."
Ghin mumbled incoherently for a few minutes. His voice slowly grew louder, until some of the words could be made out. "The armada… Burning… No man can… Split like a pumpkin… Screaming… Why won't you let me help them? Demon eyes… Away! Get away! No use… There's blood- blood on the water!"
Chopper clearly didn't know what to make of that. The doctor continued talking, staring up into Ghin's unfocused eyes. "Deep breaths. Nothing's on fire; nothing's burning. There's no blood on the water. Just sea salt. You can smell it. Breathe deep; focus on the brine."
"We're all here with you." Chopper nuzzled one of Ghin's hands; the rigger made a small, curious noise and began petting him absently. "No one's screaming; everyone's safe. Luffy's here; I'm here. Zoro and Sanji are here, Johnny and Yosaku are here, Nami and Jones are here, Lisa and Ruatha are here, Drifter and Geier are here, Toma and Usopp are here. Robin's just belowdecks. Even Ace is here, and he's not one of our crew. You're surrounded by friends; we won't let anything happen to you."
Ghin's breathing had evened out by now. His mind was still elsewhere, though. Sanji looked at the rigger with unaccustomed concern. "Would it help if I made him something?"
Thinking for a moment, Chopper nodded. "Maybe. It won't hurt, so it's worth a try. Something familiar, that he likes; something he would associate with safety."
Nodding, Sanji headed off towards the galley. Mihawk looked like he was about to protest, before realizing that the photo he wanted would be better if Ghin could relax slightly. Letting out a little sigh, the world's greatest swordsman leaned back against Merry's mast and began poking his visual den-den. The snail was not amused.
It wasn't that much of a delay, anyway. Sanji returned less than fifteen minutes later with a steaming plate of chicken fried rice. The smell perked Ghin up a bit; my brother finally released his hold on Chopper when Sanji offered him the plate. Ghin ate quietly, colour slowly coming back into his face. His hands steadied. But even once his panic attack seemed to have finished, he didn't remove his gaze from where it had become fixed on the deck.
"Thanks, Chopper…" Ghin's voice was very quiet. "You're good at that. And- you too, Shit Cook. Thanks."
Chopper squirmed in place, blushing brightly. "I'm a doctor- it's what I do! But don't go trying to butter me up about it, you bastard!"
"Don't mention it." Sanji rolled his eyes and blew a few smoke rings into the air. "You may be a shitty war dog, but you're our shitty war dog."
I reached out and placed a hand on Ghin's shoulder; this time, he didn't jump away. Chopper and Lisa moved in to hug the rigger from either side, while Drifter climbed up on his shoulders and began pawing through Ghin's hair, grooming him.
Mihawk stared dully at us. "Now that your friend is no longer on the verge of passing out, could we please get on with this? I have places to be."
"Like where?" Nami snapped. "Didn't you go after Krieg because you were bored and he interrupted your nap? Doesn't seem like you have anywhere in particular to be." The sailing master looked like she was debating the merits of electrocuting Mihawk- and possibly trying to loot Yoru afterwards, if the way her eyes gleamed was any indication. "You're the reason Ghin flipped out in the first place; give him a minute to calm down."
"Very well; my apologies." Mihawk sighed. "I do not mean to come off as insensitive; I just dislike acting as that drunkard's errand boy."
Luffy shot the world's greatest swordsman a very odd look. "Then don't let Shanks push you around so much. Duh."
"It's… Not that simple, Straw Hat. For a number of reasons." Mihawk made a face. He didn't elaborate, however.
A few minutes of awkward silence later, Ghin grabbed Chopper into a hug again and slowly got to his feet. It wasn't so panicky this time, though. He still wouldn't look at Mihawk, but Ghin did turn slightly to make it obvious he was addressing the swordsman. His voice was still very quiet.
"I- I'm okay now. I think. Where did you want us?"
"You don't have to," Nami told Ghin. Her eyes were still on Mihawk. "If you're uncomfortable, you can go below with Robin. Or better yet, we can just say no and boot this guy off the ship. What kind of pirates stand around for family photos? And who's this Shanks person he's supposed to get them for anyways?"
Her words got mixed reactions. Luffy looked torn, his desire for his crew's happiness warring with his desire to make Shanks proud. Zoro let out a snort of amused derision. And Toma- Toma went one step closer to going full Barto.
"Tch. Wit- no, right, I can't call you a witch; that's Jones." Zoro frowned. "We couldn't boot him off; not if he put up any level of resistance."
"Are you kidding me?" Toma was practically vibrating in place. He gestured wildly as he spoke; if he'd been from Earth, I would've suspected Italian ancestry. "Red-Haired Shanks is one of the Four Emperors who rule the seas beyond the Red Line! He used to be one of the greatest swordsmen in the world, on par with Hawk-Eyes Mihawk!" Then Toma's face fell. "But ten years ago he lost his left arm, and he hasn't duelled anyone since."
Luffy nodded at that, his face momentarily going dark. "Yeah… He lost it saving me. But Shanks is still the best!" The rubber boy's D-shaped grin returned.
"That is debateable," Mihawk muttered. He was soon all business again, herding us like we were children getting ready for school photos. "Alright everyone, line up by the rail. Two rows; tall people in the back, little ones in front."
"Not you, Fire Fist," the swordsman added when Ace positioned himself behind Luffy.
"But-!"
"I promised that drunkard pictures of Straw Hat's crew; while you may be his brother and sailing with them temporarily, you are not a member."
"He could be if he wanted to," Luffy offered gleefully.
Ace removed himself from the frame as if his pants were on fi- no. That's not right. He was fire- he probably wouldn't have noticed if his pants started burning. Let's try that again. Ace removed himself from the frame as if he was being chased by Garp. "Sorry Lu."
"Stingy."
"Would you like to include Nico Robin?" Mihawk asked innocently as we were trying to figure out who, exactly, counted as tall or short. As one, we all froze and turned to glare at him.
"You know who she is?" Zoro demanded. Mihawk nodded.
"Of course. She's had a bounty on her head for the past twenty years."
"Are you planning to try and take her?" Lisa asked sweetly, her paints suddenly at the ready. "Because she's one of us, so you can't have her. I have a new colour we can try out though, if we need to. I'm sure fuchsia would look lovely with your eyes."
"Colour?" Toma asked, confused. Right, he'd never seen Lisa fight. Zoro rested a hand on the boy's shoulder.
"I'll explain later. It's part of lesson two- fighting women."
Mihawk gazed down his nose at Lisa. "And why would I want to 'take' your crewmate?"
That made the little painter cock her head to the side in confusion. "But… You work for the government, and Robin has a bounty…"
"I'm no more the government's errand boy than I am that drunkard's." Mihawk flinched. "Less, even. I have my own reasons for taking the position of Warlord; I will not go out of my way to serve their designs unless it also serves my own. You have my word, unless directly ordered, I will not lay a finger on your friend. And even so ordered… I may not be too quick to follow through."
"Okay…" Lisa continued mixing her paints dubiously.
Ace went below to see if Robin was willing to come back up for the picture. He returned a few minutes later, shaking his head. "She says it's too risky. Worried about what could happen if the marines got their hands on a copy of the picture."
"Aww…" Luffy pouted. The captain bounced where he sat, centered in the front row between Lisa and Toma.
I very carefully hid behind Sanji as everyone got into position. Ruatha wasn't with me; my dragon preened in the front row, blinking happily up at Mihawk. Attention-hog. But he could have it- I hated having my picture taken. Of course, Mihawk noticed. And apparently I wasn't the only one messing up his photography.
"Dragon Girl, come out where I can see you. Straw Hat, just because I call your swordsman a little rabbit doesn't mean you can do bunny ears behind his head. Long Nose, quit making faces- they aren't funny." Mihawk scowled. "Everyone behave. If I'm going to bother taking pictures of a bunch of rookies for that obnoxious drunkard, I'm going to do it right."
Cringing, I emerged from behind the cook as Luffy's hand snapped down. Usopp squeaked. I ended up squished in between Nami and Ghin; attempts to hide behind my brother earned me a glower from Mihawk. Merde… But I hate having my picture taken! I slouched sullenly in my place, hands in my pockets.
Mihawk stared at us. "And you all need to smile," he said flatly.
That demand made Zoro scowl and Sanji huff. The cook bit down on his cigarette. "Where do you get off telling us what to do, Shitty Cross-Sword? Bad enough you're making us line up for photos like a bunch of shitty brats… You can't make us smile if we don't want."
"You will smile," Mihawk snarled. "I will not have this photograph ruined by your stubbornness."
He didn't use Haoshoku Haki- I don't think he could. But when you can draw and strike with a seven-foot sword fast enough to cut through a lock of Sanji's hair and sheath the blade before the cook can even flinch, you don't need Haki. Not to keep a bunch of Paradise rookies in line, at least. Everyone pasted smiles on their faces as a few strands of blond fell to the deck, even Ghin- although his looked more like a frightened dog baring its teeth.
Honestly, I imagine that most of our smiles looked more like grimaces or attempts not to shit ourselves in fear. They seemed to be good enough for Mihawk, though.
The visual den-den's shell flashed three times. Three pictures. Then Mihawk nodded, permitting us to move. Sort of. "Alright, now I want you to sit on that rail one by one for individual portraits."
"WHAT?!" Everyone demanded in unison. Mihawk frowned.
"If I'm going to bother getting photos for that drunkard, I'm going to do it right. Which reminds me- where's your quartermaster? I need them to write down any of your adventures you think would interest a hungover nitwit."
"Isn't that something a chronicler would do?" Johnny asked quietly. Yosaku rolled his eyes.
"Bro, we don't have one of those. And usually the captain would keep a log, but Big Bro Luffy… Yeah, no."
Mihawk shot the hunters a dirty look. They both squeaked and pointed at me.
I spent the next hour or so madly scribbling summaries of our adventures thus far into one of my many, many notebooks. I glanced up every once in a while as I did so, biting back snickers at the sight of Mihawk bullying my crewmates as if they were unruly children at school picture day. It was… weirdly adorable, how into it he was getting while still maintaining his calm, stoic expression.
Luffy- "Straw Hat, sit still!"
Zoro- "No, Little Rabbit, we aren't doing battle poses."
Nami- "Is that truly appropriate, Tangerine? This is a crew profile, not a centerfold."
Johnny and Yosaku- "Very well, Blue and Green. You may have your portrait together."
Sanji- "Please don't smoke while I'm trying to take pictures, Spirals. The haze distorts the image."
Ghin- "I understand you're frightened of me, Underdog. I'll make this as painless as I can."
Chopper- "Which form do you prefer, Little Doctor? I know you used your hybrid for the main photo- would you prefer a different one for your individual shot?" The reindeer ended up posing in Walk Point for his portrait.
Lisa- "Please stop looking at me like you want to paint my entrails, Little Rainbow. I don't want the pictures to frighten the drunkard, as amusing as that would be."
Usopp- "Hands down, Long Nose. I don't care how impressive you think it looks, I will not take a picture of you in a pose where I cannot see your face. Your father will be disappointed."
Drifter and Geier- "I would suggest not flaring your wings so much, Vulture; you're blocking out your partner's face. And Otter, as much as I appreciate the gesture, it's not appropriate to hold up a sign giving someone the finger when having your picture taken."
It's directed at you, not the drunkard you keep talking about. Hoser. But Drifter did lower the offending sign. Mihawk snorted and shook his head.
Toma- "Kitten, I know you're excited, but please stop staring that way. It's even more disturbing than Little Rainbow's glare; you'll scare that drunkard out of his wits."
Finally, just as I was finishing my notes, it was my turn. Ruatha climbed up onto my shoulders as I reluctantly made my way over to Mihawk. The world's greatest swordsman raised his eyebrows.
"Are you and the dragon not separate?"
"About as much as Drifter and Geier are." I gestured towards the Unluckies. Mihawk nodded his understanding.
"Of course. Well, in that case, please ask your dragon to stand beside you rather than on your shoulders? His head's clipping out of the frame."
"Ruatha, down." I clicked my tongue and pointed at the deck. Ruatha climbed down and stood at my side, tail wrapped loosely around my ankles. The visual den-den flashed.
Once the Shichibukai was happy with the quality of his pictures, I marched over and handed him the notebook of our adventures. He flipped through it quickly. "Thank you."
"No problem." I'd also written entries on all my crewmates, including their backstories. Whether or not this lead to a confrontation between the Red-Haired Pirates and Germa 66, I took no responsibility for. Probably wouldn't, anyway; Shanks seemed like he'd leave dealing with Sanji's family issues to Luffy.
Angular eyebrows rose. "I notice you didn't include any background on yourself besides that the crew saved you from drowning."
Zoro flinched, glancing at me before scowling at Mihawk. "Don't push it. We don't talk about Jones' backstory with outsiders. Something I just learned the reason for- the hard way."
Mihawk's eyebrows rose further. "Something even more troublesome than-? I am intrigued, but for now I'll refrain from prying. And I suppose you would prefer everything in this dossier to remain secret from anyone but myself and Shanks?"
Part of me noted absently that this was the first time outside his story that Mihawk had referred to Shanks by name. His question drew Luffy's attention; my captain frowned at me.
"Jones, are you telling Shanks-?"
"No future stuff, don't worry, but backstories, aye. It probably won't be important, but he'll probably find them amusing, if nothing else." Actually, now that I thought about it, Shanks probably would find the idea of Luffy's cook being a Vinsmoke prince hilarious. "I can add a note if you like, asking him not to take vengeance on anyone for… certain incidents, but I don't think he would anyway."
Luffy nodded. "Write it just in case. I don't want Shanks inr- int- doing stuff in our adventure without asking. That's your job."
I flinched as I wrote out a non-interference clause for Shanks in the notes. Shaking his head, Luffy poked me in the cheek. "It was a joke, Jones. You're one of us, so I don't mind you messing with stuff. But Shanks isn't. He's not allowed to do stuff for us 'til we get to the end. He can't- I'm supposed to be a great pirate captain without his help, so I can return Hat with pride!"
Oh wow… I flinched again. "Sorry Captain- I don't always get those kinds of jokes. Part of my… issues."
Luffy thought about that for a minute, then nodded his understanding. "Ah. Okay. Sorry Jones."
"There's nothing to apologize for. You didn't know." Addendum finished, I handed the notebook back to Mihawk. Luffy frowned.
"But… You call me Captain when you're upset or serious. We're not in a fight or anything right now, so you don't need to be serious, which means you're upset and I'm thinking again! Why do I keep thinking? Someone make it stop!" Face turning red, Luffy tugged his hat low over his ears as he pouted.
That was adorable. I smiled, patting my captain's shoulder. "Just think- soon you'll be learning chemistry with Johnny and Yosaku, and Chopper can show you how to extract DNA from a strawberry- oh! And then I'll teach you all about all the different types of poetry."
"Nooooooooooooooo!" Luffy bolted and jumped onto Ace's back, clinging to his older brother for all he was worth. "Ace, save me!"
"But I thought you didn't want anyone outside your crew interfering with your adventure?" the freckled pirate asked with a grin.
Luffy pouted. "You guys are mean."
Snickering, I turned back to Mihawk. "Oh- one more thing. When you see Shanks, could you deliver a personal message for me?"
Golden eyes bored into my skull. "I don't see why I should."
"Please? It's important."
"Then why not write it in the crew dossier?"
"Because it's not related to us as a crew- just between him and me. Please?"
That word made the Warlord's face twitch. Apparently he was having drunk Shanks flashbacks. Excellent. "Very well. What is this message?"
My face morphed into a grin, scars twisting it into something crazed and manic. "More of a riddle, actually. I've got a jar of dirt. Can you guess what's inside it? Tell him that, please, and that White Lion sends her regards."
"What?" His voice was completely flat, his face devoid of any major reaction, but Mihawk's eyes widened ever so slightly. I felt something beyond light and sound crackle, the sensation of someone's brain breaking in my vicinity. Oh, how I love that feeling. "And why, pray tell, should I tell him something so inane? What is the purpose? It's certainly no riddle I've ever heard. What sort of answer could it possibly have?"
"There is no answer." My grin grew broader, displaying prominent canines. "The purpose of such a question is nothing more or less than to drive Red-Haired Shanks absolutely bonkers trying to figure out what it means."
Blink. Blink. For a moment I worried that I'd broken Mihawk beyond being properly functional- something Zoro surely would've killed me for. Then, without warning, the Shichibukai threw back his head and laughed. "Wahhahhahhahhahha! Oh, that is wonderful, Dragon Girl. Normally if someone suggested probing Shanks in such a way, I would warn them of the dangers of tickling a sleeping dragon. But you… As a member of Straw Hat's crew, you may be one of the people in this world safest from Red Hair's wrath. I will enjoy watching him stew."
Toma stared at me, eyes full of a combination of fear and admiration. "You're needling a Yonko? After-? Are you insane? Do you want to die?"
"Not anymore," was my automatic response, given without context. Two words, but they were enough to make Toma go pale and cover his hands with his mouth. Zoro placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.
"We'll explain later," the bosun promised.
Warm arms wrapped around me from behind, although there was no one standing there. And… It felt like they were happy. Smiling. I found myself leaning into the embrace, eyes closed, even though there wasn't actually anyone physically there. This led to me stumbling backwards into the rail with a sheepish chuckle.
Everyone else shook their heads, more-or-less used to my weirdness. Except Toma. The young swordsman twitched, staring at something just over my shoulder. Rubbing at the bandages on his arm, Toma murmured under his breath. "It's blue. What is it, though? Feels different… Happier… Not dangerous… Yet. But- double creepy… Dark blue and light… What does it mean?"
A massive burst of flame distracted everyone before anyone could ask what Toma meant. Green fire leapt sky high for a few seconds- thankfully it didn't damage anything, and it died down quickly. As one, everyone turned to find the source- even Mihawk.
Johnny, who'd been leaning over the rail by where the Sable Cross was tied to the Going Merry, yelped and jumped up in the air. The blue hunter fumbled almost theatrically as he tried to tuck an empty vial into his pocket before anyone could see. Since everyone saw, his attempt was an abject failure.
Mihawk glared at Johnny, bright golden eyes narrowing to slits and glinting- it almost looked like his eyes could bore into the hunter's soul. "What were you doing to my ship?"
"YEEP!" Johnny bolted to hide behind Yosaku. Since the green hunter looked like he might faint at Mihawk's glare, this likely wouldn't do anyone any good.
"What were you doing to my ship?" I've never heard someone's voice sound so dangerous without being raised as when Mihawk had to repeat his question. Johnny shook.
"I was- Ijustwantedtoknowwhatchemicalsyouwereusingtomaketheflamesgreen! Sorry!" Cowering, Johnny clutched the back of Yosaku's coat. The green hunter looked at Mihawk, then glanced back at his partner and whimpered.
Chopper shot Johnny a reproachful look, nose twitching. "You could've just asked me. I can smell them, you know."
"Yes, please do that next time." Mihawk's voice could've frozen blood- I think it did, given the way Johnny seized in place. No Haki, just sheer intimidation. Beautiful.
Whining and nodding, Johnny looked over at Chopper with an inquiring noise. The little reindeer took a few deep sniffs. "Boric acid," he said eventually. "Mihawk's ship smells like a lot of boric acid."
Bor-? Why was Mihawk burning roach killer? I looked at Chopper and opened my mouth; the doctor anticipated what I was going to ask. "Not just the candles- the whole thing. If his ship burned, the fire would be as green as Zoro's hair. It's worrisome… Too much boric acid can cause kidney damage. But I suppose if his food is properly sealed, it should be alright."
Mihawk's eye twitched. "Why are you analyzing me as if I'm not here?"
"Jones just does that sometimes," Nami informed him. "Never heard Chopper join her before, but since it's a chemical that could cause medical complications, I'm not really surprised."
Why would Mihawk's ship be covered in roach killer? There was no reason to do something like that. Unless… "Mihawk, do you have katsaridaphobia?"
The Warlord shrugged. "Not to my knowledge, although I've never heard the word before. What is it?"
"An intense, irrational fear of roaches."
A sharp intake of breath- from Mihawk, not me. All around me, the air suddenly went cold. Only within about three inches of my skin, though; everyone else seemed to be just fine. Shivers ran through my bones as Mihawk's eyes narrowed to tiny slits, a glare even more fearsome than the one he'd sent Johnny's way.
"I no longer like you."
Oh, I was very glad right now that Mihawk had promised he wouldn't hurt us. Bad Jonesie… Accidentally figuring out a weakness of one of few possible Shichibukai allies was unnecessary and possibly dangerous. What was it with me and pissing off people we were supposed to be on good terms with? Just in case, I slowly edged behind Zoro. Didn't want Mihawk's hand to slip, now, did we? He may have promised not to hurt us, but accidents can happen.
"Hey, be nice!" Luffy shoved his way in front of Mihawk, arms folded. From not wanting to think to captain mode in a few short minutes. "Jones isn't tryna hurt you or nothing- she just knows lots of stuff about lots of people. She can't help it. That's what witches do."
"Witch… Where I come from, many witches were burned at the stake." Mihawk's flat delivery left it unclear whether this was a threat, or if he was just stating a fact. Either way, the mention of being burned made my skin twitch. The handprint-shaped scars on my shoulder blades stung.
"We won't tell anyone you're scared of roaches," Luffy promised. Mihawk's glare deepened, still pointedly focused on me.
"You had better not. The only ones who know this are members of either your crew, or Shanks'; if anything gets out, I'll know where to look."
Long coat swirling, the Shichibukai spun on his heel and leapt back down to his little boat. Luffy blinked in confusion. "Oi! Where're you going? Did Jones knowing about you scare you that much?"
"I'm not scared, Straw Hat." Mihawk scowled at my captain this time. Unlike me and Johnny, Luffy didn't seem particularly affected. "As I said earlier, I was in this area to investigate the rumours of the cursed holy sword Shichiseiken. Meeting you was merely a questionably happy accident that allowed me to fulfill my obligation to that drunkard sooner. Now, even if you rookies say you've dealt with things, I should double check. While I don't doubt you are reasonably capable, my personal expertise in the matter of sword lore will probably prove beneficial. Hopefully you didn't bungle anything with your well-meaning interference."
The Sable Cross pulled swiftly away from the Going Merry after that, heading towards Asuka Island. Once Mihawk's coffin-shaped boat was well away from us, Ghin let out a deep breath of relief. My brother sagged against the mast, looking as if he were about to collapse. One of the lines above him came undone, heavy hemp falling to lie across the rigger's head. He flinched at the impact, but otherwise didn't react.
"Never thought I'd see him again," Ghin murmured, voice shaky. "Or that it'd be so damn terrifying if I did. Shit."
Lisa trotted over and wrapped an arm tightly around his waist, working her way in under his arm. "I could use my paints, if you like-?" she offered hesitantly. Ghin shook his head.
"No, it's fine. I'll learn to deal with it. Not like we'll see him much, anyways." Hugging the little painter with one arm, Ghin scooped Chopper up in the other. The little doctor squeaked in surprise before cuddling against the rigger's shoulder.
Toma stared out after the Sable Cross as it slowly disappeared, eyes wide with confused admiration. "We- we were just visited by Hawk-Eyes Mihawk. And he didn't kill us. He took photos of us because Red-Haired Shanks asked him to. This crew is so weird. It's amazing!"
Luffy jerked a little bit, as if startled. "Oh yeah, you're here. That reminds me…" Bouncing over to Zoro, a broad grin on his face, Luffy swung one arm back and-
"FIST OF LOVE!"
Pasted Zoro into the deck. The bosun pried his face out of the wood with a groan; there were grain markings showing bright red on his cheek from the impact. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"
"Zoro didn't ask before bringing a new guy on the crew," Luffy said simply, still smiling. "I just forgot for a bit."
"Wait… Are you saying we have to take him back?" Zoro got back to his feet and cracked his neck. Disappointed, but resigned; if Luffy asked him not to take an apprentice, he wouldn't. His words drew a sharp intake of breath from Toma; the boy paled slightly and bit his lip.
Shaking his head, Luffy bounced across to sling an arm over Toma's shoulders. "Nope. I like him, so it's all good. 'Sides… If Zoro wants to be the greatest swordsman in the world someday, having an apprentice helps with that, ne? But I'm the captain, so Zoro still really should've asked first."
"Ah… Sorry about that." The corners of Zoro's mouth quirked up in a small smile.
Face lighting up like the sun, Toma gave Luffy a forceful hug. It didn't last long, though; the young swordsman quickly jumped backwards, looking horribly embarrassed- and a bit nervous, too. "It's purple," he muttered under his breath, "Why is it purple?"
"Purple?" Sanji frowned at Toma in confusion. "What's purple, Shitty Kit?"
"I- I'm not sure," Toma said dazedly. "I'll… I'll get back to you when I figure it out."
Sanji looked like he was about to push the young swordsman anyway, figure out why he kept talking about colours. But Toma looked uncomfortable and distracted, rubbing at his bandaged arm as he glanced from me to Luffy to Chopper. "Light blue… Purple… Pink… What are they?"
Before Sanji could press, I stepped in and grabbed the cook by one arm. In part it was to distract him, and in part because I needed his help with something. Really, I should've asked a while ago; pretty sure I thought about it at some point, but then things happened and distracted me.
"Sanji, come on. I need you to teach me how to make cherry pie."
Luffy, and Usopp whimpered and grabbed each other's hands. Nami paled; Zoro looked nauseous. Sanji stared at the four of them, one eyebrow rising as he huffed.
"What's the problem? Shitty Captain… I know you've said Jones isn't allowed to cook, but why're you so freaked out about it?"
"Near toxic levels of ginger," Zoro grumbled. Luffy and Usopp nodded like bobbleheads in agreement.
The cook apparently took that as a challenge, even though it didn't sound like one to me. "I can teach anyone how to cook, Shitty Moss. Just wait- by the time I'm through with her, Jones'll be able to make a pie so good even a shithead like you won't be able to find anything to complain about."
Sanji began to drag me towards the galley- which I found funny, given that that was what I'd been about to do to him. Chopper watched us as we went, head cocked to the side in confusion. "I don't get it… Jones, why do you need to learn to make cherry pie?"
"For the same reason I need enough apple seeds to kill a man thrice over from cyanide poisoning. I'll have to powder those tonight; not sure how long's left 'til we get there. We'd probably already be there if my writer hadn't decided to do a couple movies- I'm behind. Then again, she probably wrote me that way 'cause she knew it didn't matter." Oh! And I had an idea cake! "Also, Johnny, Yosaku- before we get to the next island, I need you two to make a few mines."
"Mines?" the hunters asked in unison, baffled. I nodded.
"Yes, mines. Things that go boom and shoot chemicals everywhere when someone steps on them hard enough. They don't have to be very sensitive, though; actually, it's better if they're not. The guy we'll be fighting is pretty big- like, eleven feet tall and probably really heavy- so if they're kinda sturdy, we won't set them off, but he will. Or, well, some of us might, but given our fighting styles, the only ones who would are Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ghin, and maybe me, and I think we could all survive a mine or two. So it should be fine."
Johnny and Yosaku blinked; Usopp sighed and saluted. "Don't worry Jones! These two may not understand what you're talking about, but I, the Great Usopp, have just the thing to guide them! So, how many do you want?"
"As many as you can make." I grinned broadly, scars twisting my face as I put prominent canines on display. My gaze automatically drifted to Ace. "After all, there's no kill like overkill. Sesehihihihihi!"
A/N: It was brought to my attention by a Guest on FFN after the last chapter that I misused honorifics when attempting to give Robin a little bit of a Russian flavour in the last chapter. Apparently the terms "Gospodin" and "Baryshnya" are outdated and, in the case of Baryshnya, sarcastic and/or mildly insulting in the modern lexicon. I apologize for not knowing this; I have no friends or family who speak Russian that I could've asked. While I believe that this actually fits with what Robin is currently trying to do by using them- she wishes to distance herself from the crew before she becomes too attached- I won't do it again if it bothers people. Additionally, it raises an issue that I probably should have thought of before.
As this fic progresses, I would like to be able to give certain characters and islands a little bit of cultural flavour from similar nations in the real world, like I did with making Drum Kingdom more like Canada- with fewer stereotypes and parodic moments, of course. Self-deprecating humour is often a part of Canadian culture, so it was appropriate there, but that would not always be the case.
So I would like to ask your help, dear readers.
If you don't mind, I'm putting out an open call for advice. I have certain languages and cultures I would like to include in my attempt at adding some familiar flavours as I expand the One Piece world, and I would ask the assistance of readers who are knowledgeable about those cultures. So, please… If you live in one of these places, or have studied the culture, would you help me? If you have any advice on what to do or not do in order to represent a culture respectfully, exclamations or idioms, celebrations or decorations, anything at all that you think would be useful in writing, I would very much appreciate your help, whether in a comment or a PM.
List of Cultures I would like to Write (so far):
Ancient Aztec (yeah, I know this'll be more "study" than "live")- Shandorans
Italy (specifically, Venice)- Water 7
Russia- Robin
Austria- Brook
Spain- Ace; Mihawk; Kuraigana Island
Japan (probably specifically Bakumatsu era or similar)- Wano Country; Zoro; Toma
France- Sanji; Vinsmokes and Germa 66
Portugal- Going Merry
Ancient Rome (again, more "study" than "live")- Dressrosa
Germany- Totland (with different islands having the flavour of different states, if possible)
Australia- surprise (spoiler!)
Scotland- Tontatta Kingdom
I am sorry if this offends anyone; that was not my intention. What I wish to do is use the vibrant cultures of this world to expand on those we've caught glimpses of through Oda-sensei's writing.
And of course, if anyone has any ideas that are not on the list, please feel free to comment or PM me with suggestions. *bows deeply* I thank you all for your tolerance and assistance.