Ned
He had expected it, but it hurt so badly to see Jon retreat so far. As soon as he reached Winterfell he locked himself in his room. Robb and Arya tried everything to get him to reach him, but he was persistent and sent them away. Robb was utterly confused while Arya was frustrated, and when she got out of Cat what she knew, Ned found himself faced with his furious daughter demanding to know what he said to Jon. Bran and Rickon grew worried when they heard and tried as well. He was somewhat gentler with them, but still he refused to show himself to any of them. Joanna would have gone too, but was too preoccupied with her siblings to get the time.
Benjen wanted to go to the boy immediately but Ned warned him that the boy needed time, so his brother allowed the boy to spend the night thinking about the truth he had learned. His brother was still angry at him, but they at least had another honest talk and since then Ben had been calmer around him.
Cat meanwhile tried her best to ensure that the none of their visitors noticed Jon's odd behavior, not that any of them seemed particularly interested, the closest impact Jon's reclusive had was that Prince Tommen and Princess Myrcella had noticed their sister was feeling sad. Cat had also tried to have Ned tell her what had occurred. He assured his wife that he would explain it to her once Jon allowed them to speak normally. But could he promise that? Hevhad already swore to himself that he would tell no else of Jon's secret unless Jon agreed to it. He was certain his wife would do nothing to harm Jon, but still...
Ned devoted himself to trying to ensure that Robert did not suspect anything. His friend was getting impatient in regards to his offer, but Ned would not dare make the decision until he was sure his son was at least coming to terms with what he had told him. He sought to preoccupy Robert with war stories and hunts that did their job well, Robert got drunk not once and not twice and tended to disappear for an hour or so. Hus wife surprisingly didn't seem to care, she spent some time with her children, her twin brother rotated between her and Robert, while Tyrion Lannister spent most time with Joanna, though like Robert he seemed to like to drink too much.
Ned himself found himself reaching for a jug of wine more often to at least quiet the pain. The look in Jon's eyes was burned into his mind, and seeing his children without their brother was almost too much for him to handle. He found himself wondering if he made the right choice, if he had not told Jon too soon. Or had he told him too late?
He didn't sleep at night, he simply held his wife close for comfort as he counted the time till the dawn came at last.
He was sitting in his solar when a knock came to his door and he asked whoever it was to enter.
His heart leapt at the sight of his son. Jon hadn't taken this well, he could see, there were heavy bags under his eyes while his hair was messier from constant turning in his bed. The look on his son's face was one of helplessness, he knew Jon didn't know what to think of Ned now that he knew the truth.
"May we speak?" Jon asked quietly.
"Of course," Ned answered without hesitation.
Ghost remained by the door to guard to ensure that no one would overhear them and Jon strolled over to sit by his desk, keeping his eyes down. Ned hesitated, abd them poured his son a tiny cup of wine. Jon took it, but kept it on his side of the desk. Ned tried to find the right words to begin, but his son begun.
"Can you tell me what happened? How did this... Just tell me everything, please."
Ned signed, taking a sip of his wine.
"Your mother was betrothed to Robert Baratheon. They first met at Harrenhal, Robert loved her from the moment he saw her..."
"But she didn't love him, did she?" Jon interrupted, almost accusingly and Ned flinched at the tone.
"No" Ned admitted, "no she didn't."
"Did she tell you that?"
"I never expected her to grow infatuated with him the second she saw him. I was right, she told me that night that she had her doubts about him, but I hoped, in time, she'd learn to love him."
"How did she meet my... Rhaegar?"
"The King and the Crown Prince attended the tourney, Rhaegar even competed, you remember the story I told you?"
"He crowned her as Queen of Love and Beauty, shunning his wife. You called it the moment all smiles died. "
"Aye, but the story starts before that. With Howland Reed."
"Reed?" Jon asked, surprised.
"Aye, Howland Reed, who would go on to be a dear friend of mine. Howland was at the tourney, and on the field he was attacked by three squires, younger but bigger. They mocked, shoved and kicked him and might have done much worse had your mother not come to his rescue. She chased them away with a tourney sword, shouting that she would not have scum like them insulting her father's bannerman"
Something akin to a smile appeared on Jon's face.
"She sounds like Arya" he said and Ned nodded fondly.
"Aye she was".
The smile stayed on his son's face for a moment and then it was gone.
"Howland was wounded so your mother took him to our tent where me and Brandon and Benjen helped her tend to him.
Harrenhal 281 AC
Ned was in his tent smiling as Brandon laughed heartily at one of Ben's japes when Lyanna came in, looking absolutely furious, supporting a boy, small and slim with brown haired and sullen green eyes. A crannogman, Ned realised, from the brown scales he was dressed in. The boy was nursing his arm and Ned saw blood on his face.
"Lyanna, what is this?" Brandon said in surprise.
"Damn fuckers'' Lyanna said angrily as Ben laughed at her feisty tongue. "They hurt him".
"I am fine my lady" the boy said, but Ned could see clearly that he was not as he winced at the pain in his arm. Ned came to help.
"Lya, what happened?" his sister looked at him, her grey eyes furious.
"There were three of them, Ned, three squires, they were beating and kicking and laughing at him in the field. I grabbed a tourney sword and chased them, they run off like pups, but he wasn't looking well so I brought him here."
Ned smiled at the Iron his sister had shown once again and felt proud of her, and turned to the wounded boy.
"What is your name?" he asked politely.
"Howland of House Reed, my lord" the boy said politely.
"House Reed" Ned said in surprise, "of Greywater Watch?"
"Aye, my lord," the crannogman said.
"I couldn't let them hurt our father's bannerman Ned" Lyanna said.
"May I see that arm, Howland?" Ned asked.
Reluctantly the boy removed his sleeve to expose a dark bruise under his arm.
Brandon brought water and Ned applied a damp cloth as the boy winced again.
"Why did they hurt you?" Ben asked.
"It was nothing," Howland said.
"It wasn't nothing" cried Lyanna outraged. "They were calling him a savage and saying he was weak. We need to do something about it, Ned."
"My lady there is no need," Howland insisted.
"My name is Lyanna'' she said with a smile. "This one is my brother Ned, the other is Brandon and that pup over there is little Ben."
"Later, she convinced him to join us at the feast, something he had been reluctant to do. He sat with us, and Lyanna pointed out the three squires whom attacked him. Benjen offers to find Howland an armour to avenge himself at the tourney, but Howland didn't answer. He was too afraid of humiliation should he lose. All I could do was offer him to stay the night in my tent. The feast was also when your mother first noticed Prince Rhaegar when he sang a ballad. She cried, but we thought nothing of it, especially after seeing her pour wine over Benjen when he teased."
Harrenhal 281 AC
Ben found a garb for Howland suitable for the feast. They sat him by the four the four of them. The crannogman was mostly quiet but seemed brighter than before, looking around curiously at the Dustins, Hornwoods, Mormonts and Manderlys.
Robert was sitting at the Baratheon, taking part in a drinking game with Richard Lonmouth. Ashara Dayne was dancing with Oberyn Martell then changed to Jon Connington. Brandon noticed Ned gave her a glance and laughed.
"Go on, Ned, ask her for a dance".
"I shouldn't," Ned said.
"Fine, brother" said Brandon. He got up and strolled over to the young woman. Ned immediately shot up to go after him before he embarrassed him while his siblings laughed, even Howland cracking a smile.
"My brother is too shy to ask you for a dance, my lady, so I ask you on his behalf" Brandon said as Ned looked at him angrily.
"Oh, of course my lord" said Ashara Dayne with a smile looking expectantly at Ned, whom cast his laughing brother a look then took Ashara's hand. The dance was quite nice though, Ashara was a pleasant girl with a sweet smile.
When he returned, Lyanna was looking angry again, while Howland was looking down.
"It's those bullies," she said, pointing across to three boys, squires to Haigh, Blount, and Frey. "They're masters will be jousting, you ought to challenge them, Howland."
"I know nothing of jousts and I have no armour" said Howland, shaking his head.
"I can get you armour," said Benjen. "You need to avenge your honor. Beat them and tell them to teach their squires a lesson."
Howland didn't answer.
"You can't let them get away with it," Lyanna insisted.
But Howland still didn't answer, and Lyanna shook her head angrily.
She stayed silent as the feast went on and Ned was getting worried. But then, at the highest table, the crown prince rose. The king was sitting quietly by his side, apparently in another world.
Rhaegar Targaryen's purple eyes sparked as looked at the people before him, his long silver hair wavy.
"My lords and ladies, for you all".
Raising his harp, he began to sing.
High in the halls of the kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts
The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones who had loved her the most
The ones who'd been gone for so very long
She couldn't remember their names
They spun her around on the damp old stones
Spun away all her sorrow and pain
And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
They danced through the day
And into the night through the snow that swept through the hall
From winter to summer then winter again
'Til the walls did crumble and fall
And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave
High in the halls of the kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts
The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones
Who had loved her the most
The crowd looked on in stand silence that was broken by Benjen's giggle.
"Lya's crying" he said, and Ned turned to see Lya wiping a tear. Then she picked a cup of wine and poured it over Benjen's head and the silence was replaced by laughter.
"What happened after that?" asked Jon, "how did they meet?"
"Two days after the feast, a mystery knight arrived and challenged the knights that the squires served, whom up to that point had enjoyed several victories. His armor was made up of mismatched armor bits and pieces that didn't seem to fit him. His shield was blazoned with "a white weirwood with a laughing red face". He was short of stature and we were certain he was going to lose. But the boy, as we assumed, was like a centaur on his horse and brought the knights down, winning their armor and horses. The smallfolk cheered for him, and called him the Knight of the Laughing Tree.``
Harrenhal 283 AC
"Surely not" Brandon said as the small knight brought the Frey knight down on his side as the crowd cheered.
"The Knight of the Laughing Tree" someone shouted.
"He rides like he's part of that fucking horse, I wonder whose hiding under that helm" said Brandon as he and Ned looked on curiously.
"I'll find out," Robert said as Lonmouth nodded. "I swear I will".
The three fallen knights were rounded up together with their squires, angry as their armoye and horses were led away towards the Knight, who still sat on his horse.
"I'll ransom anything. Just let me have my things back" the Frey Knight.
"Mine too" said the Haigh knight in embarrassment.
"Name your price," said Blount.
"My price?" the Knight said in a booming voice. "My price is that you teach your rude squires a lesson about honor. No more no less."
He rode away as the Knights turned furiously towards their terrified squires.
"You cursed boy, what have you done?" Blount spat.
"What did he mean? What have been doing?'' Haigh snapped.
"You've got me humiliated, you scam" the Frey shouted.
"Say Ned, aren't those the lads that attacked Howland" Brandon asked.
Ned narrowed his eyes.
"They are," he said in surprise.
"And the knights did just that, the three boys were much more well behaved for the rest of the tourney. But the Knight attracted other attention. Many Lords including Robert wanted to unmask him. To them it was a thrill mostly to pursue such a mystery. I was interested as well, and I eventually thought it may be Benjen or Howland, whom weren't around when the Knight jousted, but Howland was a stranger to horses and jousting, so I thought it was most likely Benjen defending our new friend's honor. But I was wrong."
"It was her wasn't it?" Jon asked quietly. "My mother?"
"Aye, but I didn't learn that until years had passed. As I learnt, Howland knew, he figured it out and confronted Lyanna about it and she admitted to defending his honor, but he swore his secrecy, only telling me after I found out. Days ago I found out my little brother also knew. He helped Lyanna get the sword and armour and he helped her cover it up. You're mother, she was a true Northerner, strong and fierce and brave, willing to stand up for the honor of a boy she barely knew."
He signed.
"But her deed attracted unwanted attention, Jon. Robert and the others were desperate to find out who the Knight was, the rest of the day they made preparations for his next joust, but your mother also picked the interest of King Aerys Targaryen."
"My...my..." Jon couldn't get the word through his teeth but Ned knew. He saw the airty in his eyes, that he would be judged for his grandfather's sins.
"He was, Jon, yes. But I want you to know it has never mattered to me nor to anyone else who knows. Aerys Targaryen was already losing his kind by then. After the Defiance he saw enemies and traitors everywhere. He grew suspicious and paranoid, they say that he even stopped eating most of his meals out of fear of being poisoned. The mystery your mother created excited most, but the king was certain that the Knight was a foe, a spy. I believe he couldn't bear the thought of any secrets being kept from him in his kingdom. The knight disappeared, your mother had no more reason to compete now that Howland was avenged, and the King was desperate to find out who the knight was. He sent many to find and unmask him. Including his son, Rhaegar."
Harrenhal 282 AC
King Aerys rose shakily, growing angrier by the moment as the crowd looked on from the stands.
"No sign of him!" He cried in his fury. "Dammit, find him you filled or you shall wake the dragon! That traitor, laughing at me and thinking he can just disappear."
"Father, please" said Prince Rhaegar, worried.
"My son! You will find him, won't you. Find that coward and bring him to me! Do not fail me Rhaegar!"
"And he found her?"
"Aye. I don't know much. All I know is he caught your mother with the sword, shield and armour, and was impressed by her courage once she explained everything. He swore to keep her secret. Then he crowned your mother, oh Jon it was a scandal, Robert hated Rhaegar ever since, me and my brothers weren't much better. We thought it an insult on Lya's honor. After Harrenhal your mother was different. She was happier... but also reclusive. She would spend her time in her room when she previously couldn't stay indoors. She and Rhaegar exchanged letters, some of them are in here."
He reached down from under his desk and pulled out the box.
"What is that?" Jon asked, looking at the symbol.
"Rhaegar's gift to Lyanna to protect their secrets. Lyanna told me where to find it before she..."
Jon looked at him sadly.
"I don't know when they planned it, but eventually they agreed to flee together the next year. Your mother met with Rhaegar ten leagues from Harrenhal and they vanished."
"She didn't tell you?"
"She told no one, Jon. No last words, no message, nothing" he said, growing frustrated at the memory. At the helplessness as he tried to find out what had happened to his beloved sister.
"Arthur Dayne and other Kingsguard helped with what we assumed was a kidnapping. Brandon was on his way to Riverrun for his wedding to Catelyn. When he received news, he charged to King's Landing with several friends. When he arrived at the Red Keep he was so angry" Ned shook his head sadly.
"He shouted for Rhaegar to come out and die, didn't he?" Jon said.
Ned nodded.
"Rhaegar was not there, however. Instead Aerys shouted from the tower for Brandon and his companions to be arrested. He summoned their fathers to court, where he charged their sons with plotting against the crown.
He then executed all but Ethan Glover and Brandon. My father... he called for a trial by combat for Brandon. Aerys laughed. "A trial you shall have, Stark." he said. " And I name fire as my champion."
He closes his eyes has he thought of his father amid the flames as Brandon desperately tried to reach his sword and save him as they choked the life out of him. He opened his eyes to see the look of horror on Jon's face.
"I know what happened," he said.
"Aye" Ned signed.
"I'm sorry, for what he did".
"Jon, it's not your fault. None of it is."
Jon sat in silence for a moment, crying again.
"Where were they, my...my mother and Rhaegar."
"They had fled to Dorne where they married before the Seven and the Old Gods."
"But, Elia Martell. What about her and her children?"
"As far as I know, Rhaegar convinced Elia and the High Septon to annul the marriage."
"But, why would he... his children?"
"Rhaenys and Aegon were to remain trueborn and retain their rightful claims to the Iron Throne. Elia made Rhaegar vow that he will love them as he did before, or she would inform her family of everything."
"Why would he do that to her?"
"I don't know, Jon. All I know is after your parents married they fled to the Tower of Joy. Meanwhile, Aerys's madness finally had brought on the long awaited consequences. He demanded my head and Robert's, calling them traitors. Rather than allow us to be harmed, Jon Arryn raised his banners in defiance. I was now Lord of Winterfell, a boy who lost half his family and now had the North to watch over and a war on the horizon. I raised my own banners as did Robert, and war had come. So much suffering, Jon, so much. Rhaegar stayed hidden in Dorne for most of it, but when the rebels started winning, he could no longer stay in hiding. He left your mother with his Kingsguard, already pregnant. He rode against as at Trident, where he fell. Robert's armies had won and we made way for King's Landing, only to find Tywin Lannister had already sacked the city. I entered the throne room to find Aerys dead at Jaime Lannister's hands. Lannister waited on the Iron Throne by his corpse and immediately surrendered it to Robert. Then they brought in the remains of Elia and her children, murdered by the Lannisters..."
He closed his eyes again to suppress the memory
King's Landing 283 AC
Aerys Targaryen lay on the floor of the throne. Blood from the deep cut in his throat. Med fekt a dark pleasure at gazing down at the corpse of the man who murdered his father and brother and then turned to Jaime Lannister, whom sat relaxed on the Iron Throne, his armour glittering and his sword red with the dragon's blood.
Ned stared at him angrily but the man simply laughed, rising and taking off his helm.
"Have no fear, Stark. I was only keeping it warm for our friend Robert. It's not a very comfortable seat, I'm afraid."
He strolled down the Iron steps and right past Ned with a grim. Ned shook with disgust. The man slaughtered his king, breaking his oath as soon as keeping it was no longer in his favor.
You'll go to the Wall, Lannister, he thought angrily.
It took Robert forever to arrive, but finally he was led into the throne room with Ned in tow, Aerys still on the ground.
"Lannister did this?" Robert said in shock.
"Aye, oathbreaker."
"Kingslayer is more like it" Robert said with a dark grin. "You deserved nothing but treachery, dragon" he spat at the corpse.
"So it would seem, your Grace" said a voice and Ned turned to see Tywin Lannister enter the room with an entourage, armored like a proud lion.
"Lannister, come to beg for forgiveness? Robert asked with disgust.
"I bring an offering proof of my allegiance" said Tywin, his green eyes sparkling as his men brought in rolled up Lannister cloaks and set it down on the throne room floors.
"What is this?" Ned asked.
"Proof of my allegiance" Tywin Lannister said and the men lifted the cloaks.
Ned wanted to scream but his throat was dry. The three corpses were covered in blood. The girl was just recognizable, but terrifying to behold, while the others... Ned turned his head from the corpses of Elia and her children and turned angrily to Tywin.
"Murderer" he spat.
Lannister scoffed.
"I removed the threat to your friend, our new King, you should be thanking me, Stark."
"Threat" Ned spat, turning to Robert.
"Have him locked in the Black Cells".
But Robert was staring darkly at the corpses, catching Ned off guard as he understood.
"They were babes, Robert," he said beggingly, hoping to get through to his friend.
Robert turned to Ned and he was stunned by the lack of remorse in his eyes.
"I see no babes. Only dragonspawn."
He saw the look on his son's face as he took in the knowledge that Rhaenys and Aegon were his sister and brother.
"Why wasn't Lannister punished?" said Jon with disgust.
"I wanted to, Jon," Ned answered angrily. "But Robert refused."
Disgust flushed across Jon's face.
"He's a good man, Jon, but he hated Rhaegar with all his heart, he loved your mother and she was taken from him. We didn't know, Jon, we shuddered at the thought of what he was doing to her as we stood helpless, with nothing to do but plan the next battle. But don't think I didn't care. I left Robert in disgust, lifting the siege of Storm's End and then re-dedicating myself to what I had initially gone to war for- to find my sister."
"And you did," Jon said knowingly.
"Aye. I did. Your mother remained in the Tower of Joy throughout her pregnancy. I found her in the Red Mountains with my six companions, Martyn Cassel, Theo Wull, Ethan Glover, Mark Ryswell, Howland Reed and Willam Dustin. We were met by what was left of the Kingsguard, Arthur Dayne, Oswell Whent, and Gerold Hightower. They refused to stand aside. Jon, I was so close to Lyanna, I thought I was about to save her..."
"Why didn't they stand aside? Why didn't they tell the truth? You were her brother."
"They were sworn to protect Rhaegar's child. They didn't know me, Jon. They didn't know how I would feel about Rhaegar's son, even if he was my nephew. And they knew of my friendship with Robert, I believe they feared I would be loyal to him and not my own sister."
He shook his head at that. How could anyone believe he would betray his sister?
"So we fought. All but I, Howland, and Arthur fell."
"You killed Arthur. You defeated him." Jon said.
Ned signed.
"No, I did not."
Jon blinked looking at his father in shock.
"But, you said, everyone said..."
Tower of Joy 283 AC
Ned could feel his end coming as Arthur sadly raised his sword, Ned barely managing to keep his own up as he lay on the ground bleeding.
"I regret this" Ser Arthur whispered as he meant to bring his sword down, but something happened. Something Ned had not expected. A red sword burst from Arthur's chest and the man screamed, dropping Dawn to the ground with a clatter as Arthur heaved and sank to his knees. Ned forced himself up and so the short man behind him, Howland was wet with sweat and blood, his eyes heavy as he pulled his sword out of Arthur's back. The Sword of the Morning fell to the ground, bleeding from the two holes in his body as he spat blood. The two stare in shock at the dying man before Howland reached down to help Ned to his feet.
Arthur turned on his back, staring up at them, his purple eyes sad. Despite contempt for the man who helped the dragon take his sister, Arthur was a man of honor and it pained Ned to watch him suffer such an end.
The choice was made quickly in his mind. He reached down and picked up Dawn. Arthur's eyes lit and Ned knew he understood.
Dayne propped himself upwards.
"You have fought with honor," Ned said, "I shall tell your family so when I return your sword to them."
He nodded weakly as he groaned from his wound.
"I died fighting for my king. I go to the gods' content."
Ned nodded and raised Dawn. It was clean and quick. The Sword of the Morning died with honor.
"So you lied about that too," Jon said angrily.
Ned signed.
"Like I told you once, I owe my life to Howland Reed, and I owed it to Arthur to return his sword to his family. Once I freed Dayne from his suffering, I made my way towards the Tower while Howland recovered from his wound. Oh, Jon, how my heart had lept, I was about to save my sister. Bring her to Benjen and we could be together again. But the gods had a different plan..."
Tower Of Joy 283 AC
Ned burst into the room, armed for whomever had been left to guard his sister, as the scent of blood and winter rises stung his nose.
"Lyanna!" he shouted, but instead of a frightened girl loomed over by a guardian, he instead found a large bedroom. A young woman stood quietly in the corner, staring at him fearfully.
"Ned?" whispered a weak, disbelieving voice.
He turned to the bed and a gasp escaped his throat. The curtains and mattress were soaked with deep red blood, and a young woman lay on top of it, wearing a grey dress stained with red.
"Lyanna" he breathed out.
He ran towards her as she reached out weakly, past the young woman and to his sister.
"Is it really you?" she asked, her eyes weak.
"Yes, it's me" he told her, putting his hand to her face and feeling the fever.
"I want to be brave," she whispered.
"You are," he assured her.
"I don't want to die."
"You're not going to die" he said fiercely then looked at the woman.
"Get her some water"
"No, no water..."
"Is there a Maester?"
"Ned!" Lyanna shouted desperately, getting his attention. "Wylla, bring him here".
The woman reached down into a crypt beside her that Ned hadn't previously noticed. She brought out something wrapped in a blanket...
The babe started crying.
He looked at the blood on Lyanna's dress and shook.
"That monster, that..."
"No!" Lyanna shouted. "No it wasn't like that". She was getting weaker and he could hear it in her voice. "He didn't take me, Ned. I wanted to go. Oh, but I have missed it, especially after he left, take me home when I'm gone, Ned. Bury me at home."
"What?" whispered Ned, confused and in tears. "What are you saying?"
"There's a box behind that pillar, '' whispered Lyanna. "There are letters, the sealed ones are fir him" she pointed at the babe " and his siblings, though I know they are dead. I hope you'll understand. Oh, Ned. I'm so sorry..."
"Lya"
"His name..." whispered Lyanna, her gray eyes red. "Is Maekar Targaryen. I loved Rheagar. We married under the Seven and before the Old Gods, with Elia's permission. I'm sorry, but I could not marry Robert. I never meant for all this to happen. I hope Father and Brandon forgive me." She heaved a sob, then looked at him in desperation.
"Protect him Ned, even if Robert doesn't kill him, Lannister will like he killed his brother and sister. You have to promise me. Promise me, Ned."
He saw the panic in her eyes and the love with which she looked at her son.
"Promise me..."
"I promise" whispered Ned through his tears, despite all the conflicting emotions building up in him at the revelations, his sister wanted him to look after her son and he would do that.
She smiled finally after all this time. Her eyes looked into his own, free of tears. Then they closed and she was gone. All that Ned could hear were the cries of the babe that Wylla passed to Ned.
The babe opened his eyes, Ned's heart sunk as he saw Stark grey.
"Howland entered and found me holding you in one hand and your mother's hand in the other. He took you and spoke with Wylla while I... while I grieved. He had to pull me from her, I couldn't believe she was gone.
Jon's eyes were wet with tears when Ned had finished.
"It was me, she died birthing me. It was my fault".
"Nevr tank that" Ned said. "She loved you with all her heart".
"She loved me?" Jon asked tearfully.
"With all her heart" Ned assured.
Jon nodded sullenly.
"What happened next?"
"Wylla showed me the box and explained how Rhaegar and Lyanna married and lived in Dorne for months before Rhaegar rode to his death."
"Who was she?"
"A friend of Ashara Dayne"
"Ashara Dayne?"
"She didn't know the whole truth, but she was loyal to Arthur and sent Wylla to act as handmaiden to Lyanna when she fell pregnant. She and your mother formed quite an attachment. Wylla went with us when we returned to Winterfell. We buried the Kingsguard and burned your mother's blankets and mattress, anything that could have proved that she had given birth. Telling people you died with her was not an option, someone would suspect it when I turned up with a babe at Winterfell. The three of us made a vow that day...
Tower of Joy 283 AC
The pile of burning fabric emitted black smoke that stung Ned's eyes. The three of them watched it burn and Ned turned to face them.
"No one can know who this child is. Can I trust you to keep this secret?"
Howland looked sadly towards the Tower where Lyanna awaited.
"You're sister has been a friend to me since the day I met her. I will honor her as she deserves and I swear to you that I will protect her son."
Ned nodded gratefully.
"And you?" he said, turning to Wylla.
The Dornishwoman's eyes were tearful.
"Lyanna Stark treated me with kindness and friendship, my lord. I will protect her son with my life."
Ned nodded.
"Let us swear that this secret will remain between us until my nephew is ready to share it himself."
"I swear by the Old Gods and the New" said Wylla.
"By the Old Gods and the New" said Howland.
"By the Old Gods and the New" Ned said.
"I set out home with my sister's boy and a newborn child. Mine and Robert's grief allowed us to reunite in friendship, but I had a difficult task before me. I would raise, I knew that the moment I held you. But what to say? I considered claiming you as a war orphan, but as you grew you looked more like your mother Jon. You couldn't be trueborn believe me, only a bastard could go unnoticed, but whose. I couldn't claim Lyanna was your mother, if I said someone other than Rhaegar was the father people would at least be suspicious. Brandon? You'd have to be older than Robb. No one who saw the two of you together when you were babes would believe that. And the Tullys...
"Would never have agreed for Brandon's son to be raised at Winterfell with your wife" Jon said knowingly. "Bastard or not, I'd be a threat to Robb's claim. They'd have marched down to Winterfell and demanded you send me away."
Ned nodded sadly.
"Why didn't you tell Lady Catelyn" Jon said almost accusingly.
"Jon, I took her as a wife in my brother's place to secure the Tullys' allegiance in the Rebellion. I didn't know her. I did not know what she would do. The darkest things cane to my mind. She already had my son, I have, one might say, served my purpose to the Tullys. What if she had turned me in for the new King's favour? What if she demanded I hand you over in exchange for our safety. Jon, she wasn't to me then what she is now. Now I know her fir who she is, a good woman who simply can't forget the pain her husband brought on to her."
"You could have told her afterwards" Jon said, anger rising. "She loves you now, you could have trusted her."
"I wanted to, Jon, believe me. I even considered it after you got the pox and she spent the night praying by your bedside."
Jon's eyes widened.
"She... She did?"
"Aye. The whole night. But when you recovered she once again couldn't bear to think of the woman she thought I'd dishonored her with."I know you are angry, but please try to understand."
"Understand?" Jon said accusingly. "Do you know what it's like to not have a mother? To grow up next to a woman who loved her children more than the world and look at you with scorn? You could have spared me that!"
"Be angry at me" Ned said, "I can take it, but try to understand her pain. You were a constant reminder of her pain..."
"You could have spared her that. You could have spared many things for many of us. You could have told me my mother was dead rather than let me grow up hoping to meet her one day."
Ned closed his eyes. He needed to endure this, or else he and Jon will never make peace.
"I didn't want to speak of Lyanna to you, for you have her eyes, Jon. I didn't want to look at them and see pain like I did in the Tower. As for Cat, Jon, I was trying to protect everyone. If Robert found out, Cat could honestly say she didn't know. They can all say it."
"Would Robert care?" Jon said with a tone of disdain.
"I can only pray I never find out" Ned admitted.
"What am I?" Jon asked heavily. "Am I a bastard or a trueborn, a baseborn or a prince? Am I Jon or Maekar?"
"You are my son," said Ned. "That's all I need you to be."
Jon sat in his chair looking at his cup heavily.
"Why did you tell me now?"
Ned signed.
"Because when you told me you wanted to join the Night's Watch, I made a selfish choice. I planned to tell you once you had sworn your vows. You wouldn't have been a threat to Robert and he wouldn't be a threat to you.
"Rhaegar's line would die with me," Jon said, looking at him darkly.
"Aye" Ned admitted, seeing no point in lying.
"You would have sent me there not knowing what I was giving away."
"Do you want any of it?" Ned asked. "Do you want the Iron Throne?"
Jon looked down.
"I'm not sure who exactly I am at the moment, despite Uncle Ben's words. Never mind what I want".
He looked Ned in the eyes.
"But I know I don't want to lose what I have. I'm not sure how I feel about you, I need more time, but I don't want to lose what you gave me. I don't want to go to the Night's Watch. Not yet at least. I need to figure out what I have and if I want to give it away. I want to stay at Winterfell, whatever awaits me here, if you will have me."
Ned blinked back tears as he looked his son in the eyes.
"This is your home, it always was."
"Thank you," Jon said quietly. Then he looked at Jon again with sadness.
"Lady Catelyn..."
Ned remembered Cat's words and his heart tightened.
"Leave that to me".
Jon nodded. He rose from his chair and so did Ned. Jon stiffened as he approached him, and Ned thought himself foolish for expecting an embrace. So he simply put his hand on Jon's shoulder.
He picked up the box.
"This is yours now" he said as he handed it to Jon. "Hide it well".
Then he watched his son leave, and signed heavily, knowing another trial was before him.
(Please leave your thoughts in the comments. I enjoy reading your reviews. Let me know if I make any mistakes or need to change something(: )