It was a generic night in Leanbox. The atmosphere was calm and quiet; those outside were ready to return home and call it a night and those inside were either closing up shop or snuggling into their warm beds.
Overall, it was serene in the Land Of Green Pastures; too serene, even. Boring to few, relaxing to others...
"It's not fair!"
"Indeed."
... and abnormally loud to some.
In a quaint, old-fashioned bar located near the Basilicom, a certain pair of well-known Leanboxians were seated in the very back. The establishment itself was almost completely empty, save for the two in question, a short-haired brunette bartender cleaning empty glasses with a bored expression, and a blonde ponytailed waitress by the counter, resignedly awaiting orders which would never come.
"I have been loyal to her for years! I have yearned for her attention since I was a small child! I have been nothing but good to her! Why-"
And it was a very good thing that they were the only ones in the bar. Leanbox's own Oracle was currently having an enraged meltdown, with the SMD Warrior known as Cave seated in front of her.
She was a true soldier.
"-that snot-nosed trouble-causing brat has ruined everything! In mere minutes, she has completely stolen what I had been hoping and grasping for my whole life! IT'S NOT FAIR!" As if to accentuate her frustration, Chika slammed her hands hard on the wooden table, causing it to shake considerably for a moment.
"Truly not." Cave, meanwhile, moved her hand to catch her glass of red wine before it could be spilled by the Oracle-generated tremor, all the while eyeing the other woman with a dullness in her everything.
"I mean, what have I done to deserve such torture!? Nothing, that's what!"
"Of course."
"Am I just a third wheel now? Am I...useless?" The Oracle shuddered. "Oh, it hurts to even think it!"
"So much sadness."
"..."
"..."
The greenette scowled, glaring at her friend. "I feel like you're mocking me."
The redhead, for her part, simply remained stoic. "Why, I cannot possibly fathom what would make you jump to such an accusation."
"..."
"..."
Cave elegantly sipped her drink.
Chika's eye twitched.
"..."
"..."
"Ugh..." The Oracle planted her head on the round table, giving up the staring contest and letting out several frustrated groans.
The SMD Agent blinked, giving the supposedly responsible and elegant Oracle a look most deadpan. "Are you quite done?"
"Mm..." Was said responsible and elegant Oracle's eloquent response.
Cave couldn't help but let loose a small smirk. "I shall take that as a 'yes.'"
"Shaddup..."
"Honestly, Chika..." The stoic woman began, setting her drink back on the table. "Verna is just a small child. Do you not think you are over-"
"I'm not overreacting, Cave!" Chika instantly raised her head, shooting a glare at the redhead. "Can't you see that Lady Vert will soon forget about my existence?! Gosh, right now she's probably having the time of her life with that damn brat, singing in happiness for being an actual big sister!"
'HOW DO I EVEN BIG SISTER?!'
Vert was undoubtedly panicked. Even more than that, she was downright hysterical.
When the sudden realization that she had no idea how to big sister hit her, the blonde just about had a heart attack.
'The VNs... the imoutos... they lied to me...'
Everything she knew and had to offer was all for naught! This was a living, breathing five-year old, not a simulation!
Curse her inability to distinguish real life from video games!
'Oh...' In the end, the CPU was left to despair over the situation. With Chika gone for the moment, all she could hope to do was-
"Siiiiiiiis, I'm hungry!"
... keep feeding Verna.
"Here you are." Vert handed another bag of Golditos to the young one, seated next to her on the bed, staring intently at the children's cartoon displayed by the screen before them. "Do... Do try to eat them slower, dear. We only have so much..."
"Okay!" Right after saying that, Verna immediately ripped the bag open, proceeding to fill herself with as many chips as possible.
And the CPU could only sigh in resignation.
'I feel so useless...'
"I did everything for my darling! From the housework to assisting with paperwork to helping her on that blasted Four CPUs Online game of hers!"
"It is called Four Goddesses Online, Chika."
"She appreciated me immensely, kind of! I just know that she was starting to love me! And then that brat came and completely destroyed my happy weekend!"
"It is currently Thursday, Chika."
The greenette continued her childish banter, while Cave calmly sipped her drink and corrected the other woman when the time called for it.
Which meant every five seconds, of course.
"I don't get it! It's like the world wants me to suffer! Oh, how cruel it can be! Is my fate to be condemned by that insufferable brat for the rest of my days!? How horrible! O, how terrible destiny is!"
"... If you were not an obsessive stalker with an overwhelming need for Lady Vert's attention, you may have been a decent Opera performer."
The Oracle shot a glare at the redhead. "You are not helping!"
Cave simply tilted her head, emerald eyes shining in the just the barest hint of amusement. "Should I be?"
"Argh..." Amidst her frustration, the infuriated woman could only place her head in her hands.
The redhead, meanwhile, simply took a sip of her wine "Hm, what a lovely brand. It is undoubtedly new to this establishment."
"Y-You're so inconsiderate!" Chika whined, staring straight into the redhead's eye with saddened scarlet orbs, tears beginning to pool in them. "C-Can't you see I am in distress?"
"All because of an-"
"I'M NOT OVERREACTING!" The Oracle slammed her hands on the table, her face red with rage.
"... Hm." The SMD Agent let out a minuscule smile, possibly enjoying her friend's dilemma a bit more than she should.
"Cave, please comfort me!" Chika suddenly begged, looking like she was about to cry. "Praise me until I forget that blasted brat!"
"... Your crying voice has the unique aspect of a dying boxbird."
"Sniff You're so good to meeeeee!"
"Hello, Noire! It is such a nice evening- Ah, I am interrupting your work, you say? I should just state my business, you say? I really must stop repeating your words, you say? Why, calm down for a moment. I have but a simple inquiry. Tell me, hypothetically speaking, if you were to gain a new little sister to alleviate the loneliness in your life, how would you take care of her? ... Noire? Hello?"
Vert was met with the sound of a dial tone. Just like that, her hopeful smile lost all its life.
'Notgoodnotgoodnotgood!' The CPU outright panicked. 'Noire was my only chance! Neptune does not know the first thing about being a proper elder sister, and Blanc... Oh goddess, I would never stoop that low...'
Despite being clearly desperate, Vert still had some pride. Blanc was not an option.
Never an option.
'This is quite troublesome...' She sighed at the thought, her empty smile finally fading. 'I never thought I would so much as consider asking for sisterly advice...'
The Goddess somberly turned her head to face Verna, who was still sitting cross-legged on her bed, happily eating snacks and watching cartoons.
A small smile made its way to the woman's lips.
'She's so cute...'
And then it died.
'But why can't I be a proper big sister!? Is this my ultimate fate? How cruel!"
"Siiiiis, I'm thirsty..."
"C-Coming right up, dear...!"
"The sun shure is beautiful tonight, Cavey~"
"First, you mean 'moon.' Second, we are indoors. Third, tonight is cloudy, Chika."
The situation was quite troublesome for Cave.
Losing herself in her own amusement for a moment and failing to stop her friend from acting stupidly, she inadvertently brought upon herself something she encountered a number of times before, part of the greenette that the redhead wasn't very fond of.
Drunk Chika.
"Hic..." The Oracle's head was on the table, and beside the droopy and slouching greenette were several empty glasses. Since it became clear Cave was apt for teasing her rather than helping, the Oracle decided to drown her sorrows in alcohol.
This was a very, very poor idea, for a very good reason...
"You know you have a low tolerance, Chika. Honestly, I don't see why you do this to yourself..." Cave grunted, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Will I need to carry you home again...?"
The greenette simply lifted her head to look the redhead in the eyes, smiling lazily at her. "Hehehe... Hic... I must admit, Cavey... You're a... pretty nice guy..."
"... I shall not even dignify that with a response."
"C'mon Cavey...~" The Oracle cooed, playing with her empty glass. "You're sho beautchiful...~"
"Stop." Frowning, the redhead stood up, placing the money on the table before gesturing for her friend to follow her. "Let us get you home Chika, before you pick a fight with the waitress or the like..."
'Again,' Cave sullenly reminded herself just as said waitress, by the corner of her sight, shot her a sideways glare.
"Don' wanna..." the drunk Oracle whined back, twisting her lips into a pout.
The redhead sighed. "Do not make me drag you out once more..." Grasping her friend's arm, the SMD Agent proceeded to pull her very roughly.
"OW!" As a result, the Oracle was practically launched from her seat, only to be caught effortlessly by Cave, the greenette's head softly impacting the redhead's chest as an arm went around her waist, preventing the drunken woman from possibly falling to the ground even if her legs gave in.
To the outside eye, such a position would look incredibly bold, romantic even, but the situation itself was far from it.
"Hihihi... Hic..." Well, at least for Cave it wasn't, as the drunk Chika seemed quite pleased with it. "You're so warm...~"
"Must I truly reprimand you...?" the SMD Agent muttered under her breath, completely uninterested in entertaining her friend's alcoholic fantasies. "Let us depart, please."
"Eh..." The woman's reply was leaning into her friend's hold, which is simply another way to say she buried her face in the redhead's bosom. "Heehee...~"
'Oh, for the love of-'
Cave could only groan at the intoxicated greenette's actions. Sighing in resignation, the redhead then placed an arm behind Chika's thighs, the other by the Oracle's back and, using her strength...
"Whoa...~"
... lifted the greenette in a bridal carry, much to the drunk woman's pleasure if the goofy smile was any indication.
'She is unbelievable...'
"This is shooo nice... Hic..." the respectable Oracle mumbled, staring unfocused into Cave's eyes.
The redhead couldn't help but roll her eyes at Chika's drunk elation before moving to the exit with the happy greenette in tow, fully aware of the unamused stares being sent at them by both bartender and waitress.
With their constant visits, the novelty of the duo's antics had long since worn off in this establishment, after all.
That night was an especially dark one, the moon nowhere to be seen. The sky was mostly covered in clouds, so much that Cave found herself considerably concerned over the possibility of rain.
Meanwhile, in the world under the stars, the streets were noticeably barren, something the redhead was very thankful for as she carried the supposedly respectable yet drunk Oracle, and the temperature was befitting of the approaching winter.
As such, it was no surprise that Chika eventually shivered under the cold breeze.
"Mm... too cold..." the woman complained, huddling closer to Cave for warmth.
"You should have brought a jacket, Chika..." A sigh escaped the redhead's lips. "You know as well as I do that we are entering winter."
"It's not sexy 'nough..." She grumbled, shamelessly nuzzling against her friend's soft and warm chest. "Dearest won' notice me if I'm not sexy..."
"..." Cave couldn't fathom a response to that, even if she tried.
'Chika Hakozaki, what is wrong with you?' The very thought made her frown. 'You crave for Lady Vert's attention, like a typical cartoon girl who wishes for her upperclassman to notice her...'
"So faaaaar..." the greenette suddenly mumbled, staring at the clouds.
"..."
'As I was thinking... Your interest on Lady Vert is far beyond normal.'
The redhead's frown deepened at that. The Oracle had been clamoring for Lady Vert's attention for a considerable length of time; the redhead could recall back to when they were children.
'You would draw pictures of Lady Vert, and give them to her. You would always buy dolls in Lady Vert's likeness, you even began attempting to cook for her when you were only 12...'
"Hic... Hihihi..." Chika was staring into nothing with a lazy grin.
"Hm...' The redhead didn't even bat an eye at the greenette's strange actions. 'You are also hopelessly immature, an accomplished stalker, a massive crybaby who starts drunken fights...'
She glanced down at the greenette, who was fascinated by her own hair.
"Ooooh, pretty...~"
"..."
'Yet... you are still my best friend...'
"Ehehe~" the Oracle giggled as she quite shamelessly groped Cave's chest.
'... Somehow.'
It was a mystery to her. Despite all of Chika's incredibly numerous and blatantly jarring faults, the redhead still considered her not only a close friend, but her best friend.
Did she simply feel pitiful towards her? Maybe.
Was it some unnatural pull to make sure the Oracle didn't harm herself with her constant thoughtless actions? Likely.
Or perhaps it was a vain attempt at keeping Chika's reputation at a somewhat respected level. Goddess knows the many times Cave had to physically pry her friend away from either another drink or a fellow drunk she decided to pick a bone with.
'You are far more trouble than you are worth, Chika... but I cannot even find it in myself to be truly mad at you...'
"Heehee...~" The greenette then bit her own hair, indescribable happiness in her face for whatever reason.
"..."
'No matter how much I may want to..."
The friendship of the SMD Agent and the Oracle of Leanbox was a strange one, indeed.
"You're so nice, Cavey...~" Chika suddenly mumbled, her eyes pointing at her friend's for once.
"And how exactly am I nice this time?" The twintailed woman raised an eyebrow. "All I have been doing is carrying you home, which you have already declared as 'nice,' so elaborate."
"I mean, I mean, I meeeean..." the Oracle trailed off, her already scarlet cheeks darkening a tad more. "You're... Mm... always there..."
"... Eh?" The crimsonette was thrown off by those words. "What do you mean...?"
"You're alwaaaays there, Cavey. Wh'never I'm feelin' down, you're there for me... like a doggie... Heehee..."
"..." Cave couldn't find it in herself to argue with that statement, no matter how weird it sounded.
"Anywhere I go, you're there behind me. Ev'n when I'm being a big ol' dummy, you help me out... that's really nice..."
"..." Again, she could not object.
"Ehehe, you're a good friend..." the drunk woman declared, poked her friend's cheek for no reason.
"I... uh... thank you...?" Needless to say, said friend didn't really know how to respond.
"Coooool..." the greenette murmured, her eyes drooping. "I like you, Cavey..."
'Honestly...'
The stoic woman sighed, smiling slightly.
"I cannot say I am not fond of you as well, Chika."
"Yaaaaay..." The Oracle raised her arm lazily in celebration.
Cave let loose a rare chuckle.
'You really are quite something, Chika...' The redhead thought fondly. 'You haven't changed at all, since the day we met...'
"Cavey, why're there shoooo many ligh'bulbs in the sky...?"
'... For better or for worse.'
Vert felt an overwhelming sense of defeat flow inside her.
She had endured loneliness for decades before she had gained Verna. Decades that allowed her to learn how to be the greatest big sister ever!
... Or at least she thought so.
Not only had Vert single-handedly proved that years of video game knowledge meant next to nothing in real life, not only had she realized that Blanc was a far superior sister than her - and the very thought made her nearly convulse violently - but she had proven that she, in fact, didn't know how to take care of Verna.
It was soul-crushing! It destroyed her on the inside knowing she, the one who begged for a sister for years on end, was incapable of being such! It devastated and wounded her pride! It crumbled her self-esteem to dust! Could anything possibly insult her more than her own incapability could!?
Achievement Unlocked - Overwhelming Despair! (You failed as an older sister!)
"Oh, come on!"
"Sis, why are you yelling? Did a buggy get in you hair?"
"A-Ah..." The CPU was snapped out of her inner wailing when she noticed that on Verna's hands was her own flowing hair. "Verna...?"
"Hm?" The little one, who was standing on Vert's lap, currently ignoring the snacks next to them on the couch as her hands toyed with the woman's long blonde strands, looked at her confusedly.
"... What are you doing, dear?" the CPU asked as she raised an eyebrow at the strange sight.
"Checking for buggies!" Verna responded innocently, not a trace of dishonesty nor shame in her voice.
It was adorable.
'Hnnnnnnnnn-' "I see..."
Just like that, Verna was left to mess with the CPU's hair, while Vert herself kept her squealing to a minimum. Instead of the woman's room, the sisters Green had relocated to the living room. As for the reason why, all which must be said is that it was closer to the snack-filled kitchen.
As expected, the little girl hadn't been bothered by this at all, still enjoying the kids cartoons being displayed on the large screen.
"Heehee, that kitty got squashed!" Verna giggled, pointing excitedly at the TV.
That made Vert smile.
'She is so cute, so blissful...'
And then she frowned.
'Why must I be a failure?! It is not fair in the slightest...'
Ding "Greetings, Lady Vert."
"Cave?" The blonde noticed the doors of her elevator slid open, and in walked the stoic redhead...
... with a passed out Oracle being held in her arms.
"..."
"..."
"Zzz..."
"What," was all the CPU said, staring blankly at the sight.
"I feel it would be better if you did not ask questions, Lady Vert." Cave said casually, though she was obviously averting her eyes from the Goddess.
"... Indeed." The CPU sighed, bringing a hand to her forehead. "Honestly, Chika..."
"Heehee, Big Sis Chika looks funny." Verna giggled adorable, still holding onto Vert's hair.
"Oh, Verna..." Even as she let out a second sigh, the bigger blonde could only pet the smaller one's head.
"At any rate, I will settle Chika into her room." Cave departed down the hall, not even looking at her once.
"... Please do so." Vert just went along with it, willfully ignoring what just happened and turning back towards the TV.
As for the little girl...
"Siiiiiis, I'm hungry!"
"E-Eh? Verna, you just-"
"Siiiiiiis..."
'Hnnnnnnn-'
"You really are troublesome, Chika..."
The begrudged redhead had tasked herself to getting the green Oracle to bed, a mission she almost immediately ended up regretting.
For one, she had to get to her dear friends room. While that may not have seemed like such a daunting task, once you realized that the Oracle's bedroom was a good three blocks away from the household's entrance, what with how massive the place is, such a job presented itself as quite the annoying journey.
'I do wonder if the Basilicom was built this way on purpose...' The warrior grunted. 'The first CPU must have been a friendship tester...'
It's not as if the soldier would become tired from traveling such a distance – she was a trained warrior for goodness' sake! – but it did have an effect on her overall tolerance. One who would have to travel this ludicrous of a distance just to get to their own bedroom was a soldier themselves.
At the thought, the twintailed woman felt a small pang of sympathy for her green-haired friend.
"It's as if I can hear the first CPU laughing at my annoyance..." Sighing, Cave had finally located the door to Chika's room. It was a fine, upstanding member of the door race, white on green, with a golden doorknob of all things.
"How... glorifying..." The woman deadpanned before moving closer, twisting the hand on the Oracle's back and going through the task of turning the knob whilst holding the drunk woman.
The room itself was quite simplistic, a stark contrast to the merciless assault of gloating that came in the form of polished oak. Before her was a simple queen-sized bed adorned with green covers, big white pillows and an even bigger Green Heart bodypillow.
Cave couldn't resist rolling her eyes.
'That one in particular is certainly new...'
Plop The redhead set her friend down on the bed, which obviously meant she threw the greenette on the mattress a bit carelessly. To Cave, it didn't really matter as long as Chika was still breathing.
'I will be generous enough to leave a garbage can by her bed.' The redhead headed for the bathroom, thankfully connected to Chika's room, and picked up a white bin with her hand. 'If she shall complain the next day, I cannot say she- Hm?'
"..."
"..."
Emerald eyes met azure.
"..."
"..."
A certain little girl that was barely past Cave's waist in height stood at the bathroom's doorway, curiosity shining on her features.
'Was she not with Lady Vert earlier...? Did she spend some time with her older sister before... running to this location?'
The thought felt almost mind-numbing to the redhead. That amount of stamina can't be normal.
And then, Verna spoke.
"... Hi."
"... Greetings," Cave replied automatically.
It was silent for a short period of time. The little girl, the Candidate of Leanbox, stared at her cutely, perhaps thinking about something.
"Heehee..." And then she giggled.
"...?" Immediately, it was as if marks appeared around the confused redhead. "Is something funny, little one?"
"Big Sis Cave is so nice to Big Sis Chika, heehee..." Verna responded, smiling a tiny, adorable smile.
The big sister in question quirked an eyebrow. "Did you call me...?"
"Yup!" The little girl nodded excitedly.
"Why Big Sis...?" The redhead felt the need to ask.
"Because Big Sis Cave is Big Sis Cave!" Verna happily replied, pointing excitedly at the woman.
"... Huh." The woman didn't have a counter for that, so she simply shrugged it off as childish innocence. "Very well, then."
"Heehee!" It was then that the tiny one simply walked up to her and hugged her legs. "You're so nice, Big Sis Cave!"
"Hm..." Even Cave, the trained soldier she was, couldn't resist petting Verna's head, eliciting a cute giggle from her.
The redhead smiled softly.
"Big Sis Cave is cool..." the little girl muttered as she let go of the woman, shooting her a bright smile. "I wanna be like you and Big Sis Chika!"
"Hm?" The redhead couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that. "You wish to be like... Chika, also?"
"Yeah!" Verna outright bounced in place as she nodded.
"Er..." The woman actually found herself at a loss for words. "I... do not feel that would be the appropriate course of action. Chika is quite... unique, after all."
'Unique in all the wrong ways,' Cave silently thought to herself.
"Huh?" Verna tilted her head in confusion, before speaking in the most innocent of tones. "But, but... isn't Big Sis Chika really nice, and cool, and amazing?"
"Hm?" The redhead blinked at those words, her mind attempting to process them.
For the first second after the question, she didn't respond at all.
The same was true for the next one, as the SMD Agent remained completely silent.
A third second passed, and not a word exited the woman's lips.
And then...
"Pfffft..." Cave, in a rare moment of expression, had to stifle her laughter. "E-Excuse me for a second..." Hastily, the woman turned away from Verna, careful not to hit her with the trash bin. "Hahahaha... 'Nice,' the little girl says... H-Hilarious... Chika... 'n-nice'... 'cool,' 'cool' she said... Hehehe... Ahem!" with a short cough, the redhead regained her composure, turning once more towards the little girl with a stoic face. "Well, as you long as you follow that image of hers, I see no problems in your goal."
"Um..." Verna tilted her head, a confused frown on her features "... Big Sis Cave uses strange words."
"That I do, little one. That I do. Now, I believe it is about time for me to depart." Giving the quizzical Verna one last pat, the woman walked around the Leanboxic Candidate and exited the bathroom.
Placing the white bin by Chika's bed, Cave then proceeded to make her way out, leaving behind a dumbfounded little girl who will surely ask questions to her older sister and an unconscious drunk woman who will most certainly be complaining by the first cracks of dawn.
"...'Amazing'... C-Chika, she said, is 'a-amazing'... Hehehe..."
And, for the whole journey home, the warrior had the hardest time of her life controlling her laughter, an almost unprecedented event by itself.
Needless to say, she received many a strange look that night.
A/N: Cave is such a good friend, ain't she? Expect more of her, since someone has to reel in Chika's craziness.
Annnnnyway, I have to point out that things might not go according to plan here. Going by the Wednesday deadline is harder than I thought, but I'll do my best to keep these chapters consistent and of good quality.
Also, constructive reviews are appreciated. I know this is a fluffy story with cute Verna and jealous Chika, but it's better than 'it was good, keep it up.'
Until next time.
-Yuri