Catelyn

She stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom in silence, her hair messy and in her eyes, Ned's words going over in her head. Her children had come to see her. Each asked the same questions and she always gave one answer.

"I'll come around soon, my love".

Sge knew they were not satisfied but there was nothing she could do to help them. She was lost in another world, relieving fourteen years of her life.

A perfect life. A husband she grew to love deeply, and children she loved with all her heart but always there had been one problem. A motherless boy who looked like his father. A boy who represented not only a stain on her honor but z betrayal of trust, a constant reminder of her shame and pain. Who was nothing more but an orphan, her nephew.

A boy she had always alienated. She allowed him to have a relationship with her children for Ned's sake, she initially had Robb kept away from the boy but Ned got tired of watching him play alone in his makeshift nursery and came to her at night to beg her. She finally gave in and when Ned brought Jon into the nursery the next day, she had never seen her son so happy. Sansa was the same until she grew up enough to understand what a bastard was and started copying her, she now realized. Ned didn't let it go too far, he spoke firmly with Sansa when she called Jon a bastard, but her daughter never forgot what Jon was, even when she was nice to him. Arya was like Robb, bastard was just a word to her, and she was more drawn to Jon than even Robb himself. Always asking for him as a babe, always following him around. Bran and Rickon were indifferent, they treated Jon like a big brother, no better and no worse. But he wasn't one of them, not really, she made sure of that. Why? She asked herself now. Because he was a bastard, not to be trusted, who could take away their birthright? Or because I wanted it to be easier to get rid of him ? Or was it just to hurt the boy, even if I hadn't thought of that?

It always felt justified to feel spite for him. He was a stain on her House's honor, if he had children and had a line of his own like many bastards had done, that line would forever be remembered as an insult to House Tully. But now it felt like an excuse. Her house was important to her, but what was between her and Jon was personal. She had to face it: she hated him for what he represented, not for her House, but for her marriage, he was always a wedge between them, that block that stood in the way of perfection. Now what was he?

A Targaryen? Her family sided with the Baratheon's during the Rebellion. Her family helped overthrow that boy's family. Did he feel angry at her for it? He ought to feel angry at Ned too, for that and the lies? He was angry certainly, at the lies but what else? She had never cared how he saw her, but now... it seemed to matter more than anything, if she was to be left alone with him at Winterfell.

She thought about that. She could refuse, tell Ned to take him with him, perhaps have him fostered, as old as he was, surely someone would agree even fir a bastard. The boy was a danger wasn't he? If the king found out... But she realised it was too late. No matter where he was, her family would he blamed for hiding him all those years ago. It made her more angry at Ned. She would probably have done the same for Lysa or Edmure's child, but Ned had no right to make that decision without telling her, this was their family now, not just his.

He didn't know you, a voice said. And you didn't know him. Would you trust a stranger with your life or your nephew's?

She shuddered at the voice, understanding was settling in, but she didn't want to pity Ned just yet. Because she was furious, so angry and so much in pain that she found herself crying again.

He should have told her when he returned from the Greyjoy Rebellion, that night of his return... that was what true love felt like. He could have told her then. But he didn't, he only told her now because the boy asked him to, so she would allow him to stay, so obviously even after all those years, her husband did not trust her.

So what now? What to do now? She couldn't be with him, even with him leaving. She couldn't look in the eyes, the eyes that lied. So she would let him go, not knowing when she may see him again. And be left with the boy. The boy she had neglected and disdained and alienated, she would have to look at him and instead of seeing his faceless mother, she would now see herself, her every glare, her scold, her every indirect way of showing him he was where he did not belong. Now it may well be his eyes full of scolding and pain. Wjnterfell had become her home over the years, now it would feel like a prison. She would hevtrapped in here with a reminder of years of lies and injustice. Memories of the husband who betrayed her, not with lust but with distrust, and the boy she had wished dead, the boy she promised to love and yet she couldn't because she was plainly jealous. The boy would continue to haunt her but now she knew she would not be able to hate him. The best she could feel was discomfort and the worst she could feel was guilt.

Time passed slowly. Food was brought to her but she ate very little. She didn't sleep; she simply stared up at the ceiling, thinking only of Jon Snow and her husband's betrayal. But she could not stay here forever no matter how much she wanted it.

"There comes a time, Cat, when you must put all feelings aside, as painful as it is" her father had told her.

So she rose. She bathed. She wore a new dress and did her hair up nicely and went out to dine with her husband and the King and Queen.

"Why Catelyn, we were worried about you" Robert said, slightly drunk.

"Forgive me your Grace, I was unwell."

"Well I hope you feel better, my dear" the Queen said with a small smirk that would have annoyed Catelyn but she thought nothing of it. She had not looked at Ned at all but she could feel his longing glances, a part of her wanted to reach out, but her heart was still aching and so when she eventually fekt him timidly touch her shoulder as she rose from the table she gently flinched away, not looking at him.

Her children were relieved 5o see her return, but they could see something was still wrong with her but they thought it best to say nothing, for which she was glad. She had no idea what she would tell them. Gods, what if they already knew? Nothing seemed to indicate it, but it was only a matter of time. Robb perhaps, maybe Sansa and Arya, but Bran and Rickon were too young to understand.

Septa Mordane tried to get to the bottom of what had happened she cane to Catelyn's bedroom that evening and offered her assistance and council but left disappointed for Catelyn had no words of explanation for her. She tried the Sept for comfort, but the statues of her gods now scared her as she remembered her words:

Let him live and I'll love him. I'll be a mother to him. I'll beg Ned to give him a true name. Make him a Stark. One of us.

She avoided the Sept after that.

Life became an act of sorts. A mummary. She played the good wife, the good lady. She smiled, she made small talk, she was polite and proper, betraying no sign of what was happening in her heart. But she did not look at Ned, no matter how long she felt him look at her, she refused.

She feared seeing the boy, looking him in the eyes, but he seemed to be avoiding her, or was she avoiding him? Maybe it was both and perhaps that was better for everyone. She ventured out once and saw him play with her children in the yard, it wasn't too uncommon. But before she felt at best apathy, and at worst disapproval. But now, she didn't know what to feel.

Life went on, the days to their departure cane closer and yet while Catelyn was making the most of her time with her children, she didn't see Ned at all. She didn't look at him or the boy.

Until Brandon fell.

She was in her room again when the cries reached her, Winterfell had come to life and it drew her out of her moment of solitude and she was practically grabbed by one of the servants.

"My lady, young Brandon," she cried.

She didn't hear the rest, it all evaporated, her sense of betrayal, her worries. Brandon was hurt.

She wasn't sure how she got to Luwin's hallway where Brandon was to be taken, the maid said, but she would remember that sight fir the test of her days.

Jon and Ned were running to Luwin's door, their twinned Stark eyes wild and fearful, the look of dread on their faces could freeze the warmest heart. And in their arms, Brandon her son...

She screamed.

Tyrion

The castle was driven into despair by the accident, the place was quieter and colder than it had ever been before.

Joanna was taking it hard. She and Jon Snow had been the ones to find the boy, they were out on a ride and stumbled upon his direwolf which led them to the Broken Tower. Joanna had rode for help while Jon did what he could and later helped take the boy back to Winterfell and to the Maester. In the end, Luwin had said that if the boy woke he would live. But hushed whispers spread and it was clear that one way or another, the boy would never walk again.

He was sitting with his family at the breakfast meal. Robert was abed, undoubtedly taking his pleasures. Joanna was barely eating, poking mainly at her food while her siblings tried to console her.

"Do you have any news on Bran, Uncle?" Tommen asked meekly.

"I stopped by the sickroom last night," Tyrion announced. "There was no change. The maester thought that was a hopeful sign."

"See, he'll be alright, Joanna," Tommen said, looking up at his sister, who smiled weakly.

"Yes, I'm sure little brother".

"Don't get your hopes up, my love, it's such a long fall. That the boy was allowed to climb that puzzles me greatly" said Cersei.

"We did more dangerous things in our youth," said Tyrion with a smile, remembering how his brother would jump from the cliffs of Casterly Rock and he and Cersei would go near the lion cages.

Cersei looked at him snidely.

"Like I said, he may not recover Joanna, at his age."

Tyrion smiled crookedly.

"Why, only that they may get their wish. The maester thinks the boy may yet live" he said, taking a sip of beer as Joanna sighed in relief while Myrcella face a happy gasp while Tommen smiled.

There was a glance between Cersei and Jaime and Tyrion saw it clearly despite how brief it was.

"That is no mercy. These northern gods are cruel to let the child linger in such pain" said Cersei, staring down.

"Mother" Joanna said, a dangerous tone in her voice. Cersei stared at her quietly, her eyes expressionless.

"I know you care about him, my love, but they're doing him no favor..."

"He'll wake" Joanna said fiercely. "He's strong."

"What were the maester's words?" Jaime asked and Tyrion saw something strange in his eyes.

"That' he'd have died already if he was to die."

"So he'll be alright?" Myrcella asked and Tyrion smiled as he looked at her and her brother and sister. The three had none of their mother's nature for which he was glad.

"His back is broken, little one. The fall shattered his legs as well. They keep him alive with honey and water, or he would starve to death. Perhaps, if he wakes, he will be able to eat real food, but he will never walk again."

"If he wakes," Cersei repeated. "Is that likely?"

"The Gods alone know".

"He'll wake" Joanna repeated. "He has to. I heard Summer's not leaving him."

"Those Starks seem connected to them. I heard Brandon seems stronger when the wolf is around."

"There is something unnatural about those animals," Cersei said, shuddering. "They are dangerous. I will not have any of them coming south with us."

Jaime was about to speak up, Tyrion observed, but Myrcella beat him to it.

"But I want them to, mother" she said sadly.

"My love, I thought you were scared of them" Cersei said, eyes widened in surprise and Tyrion couldn't help but grin.

"I was, but Joanna introduced us properly and they're very lovely mother. Please let them come with us".

"Yes," said Tommen excitedly.

Tyrion saw Joanna smile proudly at her siblings as their mother glared. She stayed silent fir the rest of the meal. She left with Tommen and Myrcella soon afterwards, while Joanna excused herself.

"Robert will command Ned Stark to leave his son hee in Winterfell" Tyrion told his brother as they prepared to leave themselves. "There's not much he can do for him here anyway."

He could end his torment," Jaime said. "I would, if it were my son. It would be a mercy. He'll leave on as a cripple."

I advise against putting that suggestion to Lord Eddard, sweet brother," Tyrion said. "He would not take it kindly. And neither would Anna. Besides, death is so final, life is full of possibilities."

Jaime smiled at him.

"You are a perverse little imp."

Tyrkon smiled back "Of course. But I hope the boy wakes."

Jaime stared at him, his smile gone.

"You and our sweet niece, I sometimes wonder whose side you are both on" he said darkly.

Tyrion took a gulp of wine and smiled at Jaime. "You know how much I love my family. And she does too."

His brother's words stayed with him as he wandered across Winterfell. His words and his glance at Cersei. They both seemed dismayed, disappointed that the boy was doing moderately well and it worried Tyrion. His brother was not an evil man, Tyrion having survived his childhood proved that, but Cersei could bring out the worst in people, especially Jaime. Why did they seem so eager for the boy to die? They both had a grudge against the Starks, could that be it? But that glance... they looked almost guilty...

Tyrion's thoughts were stopped when he heard raised voices.

"It's the least you could do!"

Joffrey's laugh cut through the air. Tyrion approached him as he stood by Joanna. The boy towered over his older sister, and he could see meekness forming on Joanna's face as he threw a shadow over her. Sandor Clegane stood by them, looking on.

"Uncle, come to join us, or do you come for the bitches" his nephew said with a grin, motioning to the nearby kennel. Tyrion glared up at him. The boy really was a little cunt, courtesy of the queen, but even Cersei had never been as snide and cruel as him.

"I hate to see you arguing," Tyrion replied.

"My dear sister has a go at me for not visiting the cripple and his parents."

"You ought to offer your sympathies to Lord and Lady Stark" Joanna said. "Tell them you hope Brandon will get better."

"What could my sympathies do, my little sister?" Joffrey said laughing. "And that boy means nothing to me."

"It's only the crown prince's duty" Tyrion said with a smile and nearly laughed at the scowl on Joffrey's head. "Your absence had been noted.

Joffrey glowered, then bent slightly to speak face to face.

"You and my sister really have crawled out of the same gutter" he said quietly. "The same shitty tongue on you."

He straightened up.

"Like I said, the boy means nothing to me" he turned to his sister with a grin.

"And I can't stand the wailing of women. Bad enough I've had to grow up listening to your filthy moans..."

In an instant, Tyrion jumped up to hit the boy hard on the face. The boy whined, staggering back slightly as Joanna gaped. Clegane however, seemed not too eager to rush to the prince's aid.

"One word like that and I'll hit you again" he said as Jpffrsy glared, red with rage.

"I'm telling mother..."

But Tyrion smacked him again and the boy fell back on his back. Joanna took a step back fearfully and she looked at her brother, but Tyrion just smiled.

"First, nephew, you will go to Lord and Lady Stark, get down on your knees and tell them you are very sorry about what happened and that you shall pray for their boy. And you are to apologize to Joanna. Do you understand?"

Joffrey glared.

"You can't..."

"Do you understand?" said Tyrion angrily. Joffrey shook from head to core, his face red, then rose, spat something that only vaguely resembled "sorry" at Joanna and he stormed off like an angry puppy.

"The prince won't forget this, '' Clegane said.

"Make sure he doesn't" said Tyrion smiling as the Hound walked away, then turned to Joanna who was watching open mouthed.

"I knew you... I never thought you could speak like that to him".

"Your brother's weapons are his words, and nothing more" he assured her.

"He'll tell mother" she said worriedly. "You'll get in trouble with her".

"I can handle your mother, Flamespitter, '' he told her. "I pray your friend will be alright. I must say it's fortunate you and young Snow were nearby..."

He noticed Joanna change expression at the mention of the boy. She avoided hos eyes.

"Yes, we're lucky me and Jon were nearby".

"I hear he is going with his uncle," Tyrion said curiously, looking at her curiously.

"He's not going to join the Watch" she said.

"Good, waste of a fine young man chasing monsters. What is he going to do there?"

"Check how the Wall is run on behalf of Lord Stark" she answered and he picked up the tone of her voice, as if she had been prepared for the question.

Tyrion raised his eyebrows.

"Lord Stark's brother is the first ranger, surely..."

"Jon wants to see the Wall. He always did."

"You're very fond of him aren't you?"

She eyed him strangely.

"Yes, it's no secret" she said after a moment, her face sad. "I'll miss him. I'll miss them all, I know Sansa and Arya are coming, but..."

"I know, my dear" hevsaid sympathetically.

"I hope at least Bran will be alright".

"I hope so too" he said thinking of what his brother said again.

Ned

He had known loss. He had lost his brother, sister and father in a war and his mother years earlier to illness. But this was worse. His son was lost, in a limbo between life and death. It felt like seven years prior when Jon fell ill. Then the gods had spared them pain. But would they now?

He sat for hours with Cat at his bedside. Maester Luwin did what he could but his fate was in the gods hands. Ned's heart was breaking again and again as he looked at him. His son. His boy. If he woke up he would never walk again. His son was so curious, so full of life, many times it reminded him of Lya. He had a bright future ahead of him and now... What did Ned do to deserve this?

People came to give sympathies, Vayon Poole, the Rodricks, Prince Tommen and Princess Myrcella, even Prince Joffrey came after a while. He delivered quite a wave of sympathies, but Ned could tell from the look in his eyes, Ned's could tell Robert had implored his son to offer them. But neither Robert nor anyone else could help undo the darkness that had come over Winterfell.

Catelyn sat silently by their son, praying. She had not said a word for days. He had tried to reach out but the look in her eyes made him stop. Bran's accident was first and friendship in her darkened heart but his betrayal only worked to sour her wound. She looked at him like a stranger, and deep in his heart of hearts Ned feared he had lost her forever, now when his son was hurt and he was being taken from his home.

"I really understand, Ned, I do, but I've been away from King's Landing far too long. There's nothing you or I can do to help him. It won't do you well to just sit there, Ned".

"I would wish to be there when he wakes, Robert"

Robert opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. Ned knew: je may not wake at all. He knew everyone at Winterfell said that and worse: that it would be better if he didn't wake, and even some thought it would be right of Ned to finish it himself and he boiled with anger. His son was going to live, no matter what lay ahead of him. He thought of punishing these rumors and silencing them. Once Catelyn had asked him if Ashara Dayne was Jon's mother. It made Ned furious, Ashara was a decent woman and the rumors his wife had heard painted her as a whore. He silenced those, he could silence these, but the weight of his son's state took too much out of Ned. He could only pray Robert was not among those who thought death was better for Bran.

"If you ask it of me, I shall come with you, my son is strong and rest assured, my friend, he shall live. But if I cannot be here when he does, then so be it, your Grace."

Robert clapped him on the back with a small smile.

"We leave in three days, then."

Ned thought hard on that. Three days until he left Winterfell. His heart was crying to stay, to keep his family together in their hour of need, but he had to be strong. If the Queen, who sat dutifully by Robert's side now, had truly murdered Jon Arryn then another war lau on the horizon and Ned had to do all he could to prevent it. To keep his family and all the families of Westeros safe from the horror that was unleashed on them all those years ago. He had to get to the truth. He had to be strong.

Ned stayed silent after that and when Robert finally went to find his wife he made his way back to Bran's room, where his wife knelt by his side as expected. She did not look at him when he entered.

He came over to sit by his son's side, but still she did not acknowledge him. He turned to look at Bran, who lay pale and small and weak. He cursed himself for not watching the boy. He heard the words said around Winterfell, mainly by the Southerners.

Who let the boy climb so high?

He looked at his wife who stsred dryly at their son.

"We leave in three days, Robert has announced it" he said, begging the gods for her to look at him.

Her head twitched in what seemed to be a nod. But her eyes didn't move.

"Cat..." he said beggingly. "Cat, please, look at me".

Her eyes, once beautiful and lively, were now dull and empty. She showed no emotion as she looked at him. Her face was set and rigid.

"Cat... I know I hurt you... and it's selfish of me.. but... I can't lose you."

"Not now, Ned" she whispered, a hitch on her voice as she looked back at Bran. "I can't... Ned, I just can't. Not now. Please."

Ned sighed, nodding. Gods, he felt like a monster, he should be able to take her in his arms, comfort her, make her feel better, if he could only have told the truth. He was trying to avoid this, but he only made it worse and now he would leave her broken and in pain.

He sat with her and Brandon until Septa Mordane came to pray with Cayelyn and he excused himself, squeezing his son's hand as he left abd then he went to the one place he hoped he could find solace.

He sat by the Heart Tree and allowed himself some tears. He prayed as he had done once before making promises.

Let my son live and I'll never lie to Catelyn's again. I will love her and our family forever, I will protect them from all harm. Just let my son live. Please.

Was this his penance for his lies and distrust?/ The timing was convenient enough. Despite all that occurred, telling the truth had felt like at least some weight was off his shoulders. He no longer had to look onto Jon's eyes and see Lyanna, accusing him of betraying her. No longer would he feel the shame of deceiving his wife and letting her hate a motherless boy. But he was too late, he had to be goaded into it. If Jon hadn't told him of plans before announcing them to Benjen, Ned would probably have condemned him there, let the box stay buried until his boy returned a man of the Night's Watch. He would have done that and he would have kept lying to Cat. He would have and now his son was paying the price.

His brave Brandon, an innocent, curious child, his boy, was dying because he had made a vow before the gods when another of his sons was dying and he had not kept that vow. So the gods took another son.

Please don't take him. Please. Do what you want with but spare him. Punish me. Only me.

Ned wasn't sure how long he sat there but eventually Robb came to kneel beside.

"I've come to pray," he said.

"Had you prayed with your mother?" Ned asked.

"Yes. Jon was going to come too, but he needed to stay with Arya and Rickon" Robb said sadly.

"How's your mother?" Ned asked, knowing Robb would already have reported a change in Bran's condition.

Robb shrugged slightly.

"She's not changing and neither is Bran '' then his eyes turned suspicious. "Father, what happened between you? It's making us all feel even worse about this, seeing how she shivers whenever you come closer. Jon won't tell..."

Ned sighed.

"Son, I would tell you all, but now I fear it will do none of us any good. It can only tear us apart."

Robb stared.

"What is so horrible about who Jon's mother was? There's more to this story isn't there? "

"Aye, but it's a story for another day, a brighter day. All I can ask is that you look after your mother and brothers while I am in the South. You will be a Lord of Winterfell one day. It's a hard task, Robb. But I know I've raised you to be a good man. And you deserve the truth and I promise you all shall have it".

Robb's eyes were sad.

"Even Bran?"

"Even Bran."

Both Starks looked at eachother, Robb's eyes were so heavy. But all Ned could do was assure him. They had to be strong now. All of them. For whatever lay ahead of them.

"He will wake, Robb. He will. We are Starks and our pack will survive. Winter is Coming.

?

The snow cracked beneath his feet as he stalked around the tower. He could feel the fear within, the dread and grief and small Starks of desperate hope. But his mind was elsewhere, he was running next, across the white fields and cliffs, dying his grey coat with snow.

He was going far North, beyond the Wall, beyond the magic that guarded the Seven Kingdoms for so long, past the white dread and into the darkness where even the dead have not yet ventured.

The crow was sitting in a cave, his three eyes old and his heart broken a thousand over a thousand times. But some life seemed to return at the sight of him. The crow's mouth moved.

"Find me".

(Please leave your thoughts in the comments. I enjoy reading your reviews. Let me know if I make any mistakes or need to change something. Hope you like it(: )