Knuckles was eating a pickle with salt and pepper. It tasted like the best life ever lived.
"Where is your honour though?" Sonic asked willingly and angrily. He flexed his pinky to its maximum potential. A ring slowly fell upon it from the sparkling heavens.
Eggman spotted the ringed pinky and pickle shenanigans from afar using his patented papier-mache telescope. It was the spyglass of the pinata gods.
"Shall we kidnap the pinky and/or pickle?" asked one of Eggman's robots.
Eggman looked at all those Eggman's robots. "Gosh, I hate dairy products that disrespect the odes of old..." sighed the scientist as his nose felt slightly itchy. He itched it with a backscratcher.
Sonic sped into a brick wall and dislocated several of his hips. He was rushed to the hospital via Tails's plane.
Tails wept in the operating room as Cream and Cheese performed extremely blue surgery on Sonic's livelihood.
Knuckles waited in the waiting room and continued to consume pickly goodness.
Just then...
BLAMMO!
Shadow the Hedgehog scuttled dangerously into the room after he blew up the wall with his blunderbuss. "In the name of all holy sparrows that chirp wondrous tunes, I have arrived to slay and make thou pay!"
Knuckles heard Shadow's lips move and also the words that exited from his larynx. He was gasping so hard that he choked on the pickle.
Tails heard Knuckles choking and quickly administered CPR with a kazoo.
Knuckles awoke several hours later like an awake person. He was in a hospital bed next to Sonic, but his was made of apricot pudding.
"I broke my hips," said that blue hedgehog of all places.
Knuckles teared up and emitted a foul smell from his forehead. Shadow smelled it and crashed through the wall into the room with his blunderbuss yet again. It was so scary and he looked angry, mean, and an enemy to all nature.
Knuckles barked and a quail appeared in the centre of the room. The quail slipped on magical gloves and strangled Shadow's brain until the grey matter leaked from his ears. Shadow was like a hedgehog Play-DohTM set.
"Well, now I am decent," said Shadow as his brain resumed healthy thoughts thanks to the quail therapy. He bowed down to Knuckles's iconic smelly forehead.
Eggman was still eyeing the chaos from his lair. "I shall destroy Sonic and steal his ring!" He snickered, looking closely at Sonic's amazing finger.
"Do you have to..." Knuckles muttered. "Do you have to let it linger?"
Tails swallowed a cranberry and transformed into a zombie.
Sonic screamed at the Walking Dead episode before him. Tails was well-known as a Norman Reedus fanboy and it would be completely terrible if they ever encountered IRL...
(A/N: IRL means "in real life". It's a rad acronym that we cool kids use ATM)
(A/N: ATM means "at the moment". It can also mean "automated teller machine", but not in this context)
And then Tails whirled his tails and sliced a balloon in half. The popping noise scared Sonic to death and he reverted to pickle form.
Knuckles stared at Sonic with glee and shoved him down his gullet effortlessly.
Eggman slapped a stamp on his nose. "No way! I can't believe this!"
FIN PICKLE