It was a cold, rainy day on the entirety of planet Earth as God let out his anger on the Godless planet Earth had become (only 3 cities on the entire planet were not affected by the rain, as they had a higher level of Christian inhabitants than every other city). These cities were Gotham City, Metropolis, and some random city in Iceland that's name is too long to pronounce and has letters that can't be typed but it has a population of 7, 5 of which were a Christian famiy. Because of the rain and the cold, just about every notable superhero or villain that exists decided to battle in what is now known as "The Battle of Love" (not that they were very loving during the battle). Many of the participants were wounded during the battle, thus making them go home, however, those who remained at the site were about to participate in something they would never forget.
*Jump to someone's pov rather than narrator* Batman?
It was after The Battle of Love when Batman decided that he needed to wank off once he was home. He was very sad and frustrated that he lost the battle and he didn't put the CRIMINAL SCUM away. STupid villains. Anyway, where was he? OH yeah that's write, the villains. Because everyone was wounded they all left and so batman decided he needed to recuperate his wounds after the disastrous defeat. Luckily his pal Robin who batman won't admit his feelings for due to the fact that he was still a teenager but still rocked that leather, told him that they could stil get back at the villains. By seducing them and when their guard is down strike when it's least expected. They will never expectit. But before that could happen, a light shone down on everyone, including me the batman, the greatest detective in the world. So I tried to divine the source of the light only for the source to reveal it was divine. It was Jesus Christ! and even though Bruce Wayne (batman's real secret identity) was publicly a christian he never really believed in it until now; That was when Batman had an awakening inside, a revelation of sorts. He became a christian in that instant, he would even change his name to christian to prove his fealty to Jesus Christ his lord! In fact, his devoutness was so much that he even began to have these… thoughts but those were forbidden! "A man cannot lay with another man" says the bible that the greatest detective batman who has photographic memory and fully remembere dthe bible off by heart in his brain that he recalled was a line from there. But, he could not hide these feelings from himself, could not lie to himself. So he decided he would have to convince jesus to let gay people exist. "Be calm my child, for I love all m children" jesus said, asif he read batman's mind "yes I can read your mind" jesus said, as if he replied "yes I replied to your thoughts, batman" jesus said. With that revelation came undeniable proof of the divinity within jesus' pants. "Alright. Who are you and what are your intentions" batman growled with his gravellous deep voice, rife with intimidation tactics that he memeorized from his tutorship with raas al ghul. "Relax, my child. For I have come to free you all from your toxic mindsets" jesus replied calmly then surveyed everyone who was still on the battlefield, heroes and villains alike. "For you all hate and hate but there is love in your hearts yet" and jesus turned all of their hate in to wine and love. And then they loved each other as a miracle from god "it's a miracle from god" exclaimed robin. "*Grunt*" batman grunted, with his expressionless and calm emotionless facade mask. Now we need to see what HE wants.
Jesus POV
Batman turned to me with a stoic expression on his face, those chisselledc cheekbones defiantly a gift from my father, God. God, he was hamsome. Hid eyes met mine and they stuck together like the flour glue my teacher makes and the sheets i stick inn my book. He slowly strutted towards me, his rippling muscles bulging out of his clothes, along with something else ;). "Batman, what are you doing?" I groaned in the deepest, most gravelly voice i could muster. "What do you want me to do, jesus?" He said in an airy, almost out of breath voice. " whatever you're thinking of doing, you can do-" he lunged towards me without letting me finish my sentence, and pinned me against the cold, hard, concrete wall of the room we were in. I could feel his breathe against my neck as he reached to pin my hands against the wall. He had full control over me in that moment, but i slowly came to my senses. I pushed him off of me, blowing a dark look over his face as the glint in his eyes faded. "Don't be upset, my child. I'm not stopping you because i dont want to, i just want to know that you want to. I love all my children including you and would not want you to do something you do not want to do". "y-y-y-you l-love m-me?" batman questioned and stuttered, "yes, my child, I love you. I love all my children" jesus replied succulently. "Now, are we going to do this?" Batman lunged at me for the second time, this time even harder (just like something else of his), except this time, he did not pin me to the wall, but instead ripped my robes off.
Batman POV
(Play Sweather Weather by the Neighborhood or where i end and you begin by radiohead (I'm not a radiohead fan I just like the song so please don't kink shame me please) for better effect)
I ripped jesus's shirt off faster than i have ever seen the flash even run, and then did not waste my chances to see the christs anti christ in person. I hugged jesus religiously while we kissed with tongues and I clawed my nails into his back like the nails in his hands on the cross as we tried to one up another with me quickly undoing my bat belt, and him dropping his tunic. "I don't have a condom in my bat utility belt" I said to jesus "don't worry, I'm on contraceptives" jesus replied. (BACKSTORY: a couple of years back lex luthor enleashed a virus on humanity which made men able to get pregnant from gay sex they give birth through the ass or urethra depending on how brave you are). Jesus bent over and his entirety of his holy temple was on display for me to gawp at. "Omg jesus! Your beautiful!" never before had i seen such a beautiful sight as the one that was right in front of my eyes. My batshaped dick slwoly fell inside jesus's asshole as he screamed in either pain or ppleasure, i couldnt tell, and quite honestly i dont care, I needed this. I NEED jesus right now or i swear on his life that i will die from excitement. I realised that jesus's ass was bleeding , probably form my massive 2 inch dick being buried deep inside of his bussy. (AN: Nickocado avocado esque)
Jesus POV
I could barely tell that batman even hhad a dick, i probably needed a microscope to even have a chance of seeing it it was that small, but i pretended to enjoy it for the sake of showing kindness, being kiind during covid-19 like aunty cindy told us all to be. Batman finished inside of me with a squeak like the ones bats do when echolocating, and fell over in exhaustion right next to me, where i then nestled my head into the crook of his neck. "I love you, jesus" he softly whimpered as he was getting closer to the edge of sleep (he was experiencing post-nut clarity). His breathing soon slowed as he fell into a slumber, and i got up from the floor, and used my powers to summon a rain shower to clean myself in, and put my dirtied tunic back on, when i heard extremely fast footsteps approaching me at such a speed that even my father would find it difficult keeping up.
The Flash POV
Arriving at the scene of the distress signal caused by batman's elevated heartbeats I looked and saw a dirty homeless looking man with a beard and long hair. Batman was lying on the ground and at first I thought the homeless was a villain until I saw that batman's once black suit was now painted white! and then the homeless man once again took off his tunic showing off his massive 6foot dong! holy shit, how did I not notice this before. I should've mentioned earlier that I'm going so fast everyone is slow motion and yet this random homeless dude was keeping up with me. it was a bit of a bummer being me since my partners keep saying I finish fast and I say "that's literally my power" so that's that. and then the homeless man said "come, my child" which was weird and could've been taken a completely different way in certain circumstances and the fbi would've been at the door but luckily I was here and udnerstood the nuances of the situation. still I approached him nervously, and he walked over towards me, towering over me. his muscles were so defined like an anime and he emanated a feeling of pure unadulterated masculinity. he wrapped his massive arms around me and then kissed me. I was shocked at first and thought about fighting back but then I looked into his eyes and they were loving and kind and I could see the truth and the truth was that he loved me and i loved him back. so we continued to snog over batman's unconscious comatose body and then he ripped open the front of my flash suit. which shouldn't have been posible because it was built to survive faster than light travel. "My name is Yeshua" jesus said to the flash, "but people know me as Jesus" Oh my God! it was Jesus! I was his biggest fan I based off my becoming a hero as the bible. Jesus oriented himself facing me and said "do you trust me" "of course I do mylord" i said subservientlly. "okay now I need you to bend over"
what!" I screamed. jesus covered his ears and said "not so loud". "i said, bend over, now" and with a domineering tone he ordered me to and like the little sissy little beta boy I am i did so.
What happened next? Find out in th next chapter.