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Chapter 12: Holy Shirt Batman!
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My 1 and only AN for within this story: this chapter contains SPOILERS for the play inside. I only say it here because it's a relatively new play (1990s and then revived in 2006/2015, if it were anything older and more easily accessible, I wouldn't have bothered although the play itself is SUPER old).
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Senior year was full of surprises for all of the residents of Apartment 42B. Elliott and Jerald got married and they'd only been together for 6 months. Sebastian was feeling a little restless with that, but he was only a Junior and Kurt was a Senior even though they were only a few weeks apart in age.
Rachel announced near the end of her Senior year that she was pregnant and Finn was over the moon. He was working in a mechanical shop here in New York in addition to finishing up his own studies. He had another semester to go but he would try to fit as many classes as he could over the summer.
Rachel also had snagged the lead role in Funny Girl, it was just the community theater's presentation of it, but she was happy to play the role, especially as she wouldn't be able to commit to a full on stage production that would run for as long as Broadway performances would last. This would only run for 2 months, max with a couple of weeks lead up. Finn was less thrilled by that but she was only a month into her pregnancy and so it would be fine, she reassured him.
Kurt was poached from his Off-Broadway play as second lead to star in a Broadway production as the lead in Spring Awakening. It was a full on production with touring and Kurt nearly turned it down because he wanted to finish school but they assured him that he could. He just couldn't work or do anything else really in that time. They were on Broadway doing 100 shows a month and his understudy could go on while he was at school but he was expected for all the non-school hour shows.
Elliott and Santana reassured him that the band could wait. They had gained some traction with some of Kurt's wilder ideas that they thought would get them nowhere but with his star power on stage at Broadway, when he had the time to return to the band, it would just benefit them. Broadway name in lights was a little different than even off-Broadway name in lights.
Kurt was also tempted to turn down the role since he was staring opposite Jesse St. James. Finn was the jealous one that time and had an almighty blow out argument with Kurt. Sebastian had to get involved because the large former jock was just towering over Kurt, and while neither thought Finn would lay a hand on Kurt, Sebastian remembered that Finn could hit. He just made Kurt look like a tiny kid as he yelled. Kurt didn't cower in fright but Sebastian couldn't stand seeing Kurt look so small and fragile. Rachel also got a lot of Finn's anger directed at her.
"I'm pregnant with your child! We're married and I'm not IN the play! We're only going to go and watch it to support KURT. There's no reason to get jealous of Jesse! I might not even see him the entire run, unless we go with them backstage or an after party." She'd yelled right back at him, even smaller than Kurt but appeared huge in that moment with her own anger.
Sebastian had been impressed that Rachel had stood up and supported Kurt. Maybe she was maturing as well. Granted it was Finn she was arguing with, not Blaine.
"But the two of you dated!"
"So what?" Rachel snapped. "You slept with Santana and yet we live with her! I never even slept with Jesse!"
Those reminders seemed to calm him down.
Sebastian felt the tension in Kurt's shoulders and back dissolve as Finn's anger settled. Even after all these years, Finn's anger, any of the jocks really, still threw Kurt back to his Freshman year of high school and the terror that chased after him for years.
Kurt spun to Sebastian and pulled him out of the apartment and when Sebastian asked where they were going, he admitted that they needed to get a hotel room for the night. He couldn't stay in the apartment that night. It was probably for the best, Rachel and Finn were probably going to make out on the couch and then have loud sex.
Sebastian wasn't expecting them to be having loud sex in the hotel room though. He suspected Kurt just needed a safe space to sleep for the night and while the apartment was usually that for him, tonight it wouldn't feel that way. Sebastian walked in first and Kurt shut the door behind them with a gentle click.
Kurt started singing the second they were alone in the room and Sebastian spun. He had never gotten a personal song from Kurt. He was usually the one expressing his feelings through song, Kurt was so much better at doing that with his words and body and other actions. So many little caring actions through the day and such happiness at seeing Sebastian whenever he walked through the door, even after living together for years and able to expect it. It was like every time Sebastian walked in the door, Kurt hadn't known if he would and was so happy that he did, that he chose to come back. There was that, and he was just so happy to see Sebastian, he loved Sebastian so much and loved having him around and he wasn't afraid to let Sebastian know that. It was so heartwarming to be greeted with such enthusiasm every day.
"Woke up too early, almost put salt in my coffee. Oh I thank god you stopped me before that. On and on, it's just more of the same. I can hide from everyone else and they won't bat an eye. It gets so hard, keeping it up, keep your eyes down, keep your chin up. I get so lonely until you ask me if I'm okay. I try to say I'm fine. You don't believe me me when I say I'm all right. You know, I need you when I try to say I'm fine. Can't admit when I'm sad, but thank god you know I need you when I say I'm fine."
Kurt and Sebastian both had tears in their eyes. "Thank you Sebastian, for always knowing that I need something, being there for me, even when it appears as if I've got it handled. I love you so much, I need you so much."
Sebastian moved forward and although he tried to kiss the tears off Kurt's face, it was a losing battle because his got lost in the mix too. They started laughing at the challenge of his efforts and his failure. That did more to dry their tears than anything else.
Kurt sighed and cupped Sebastian's cheeks in both of his hands. He referenced another two songs but didn't sing them. "You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down. You see me in the dark when no one else does. You enchant me even when you're not around."
"You're combining songs, love." Sebastian though was so incredibly touched and Kurt nodded.
"That's because one song could not begin to start to say everything I feel about you, how I see you, touch on who you are. You're my happiness."
Sebastian pulled Kurt so tightly into his embrace that he was sure he was squeezing all the air out of Kurt but he had no control over his actions just then. He was overcome with emotions and Kurt never once protested.
He hadn't been expecting sex that night but it was the most loving, slowest, gentlest sex they'd ever shared and they took their time and praised each other and showered each other with words of love. They were noisy, but in a very different way as the words never stopped flowing from each other and it lasted all night.
–
Sam, Burt, and Carole showed up for opening night. Kurt greeted them at the door in what appeared to be casual clothes and he gave them all a one-armed hug as his other hand was linked with Sebastian's during the whole situation. "You spoil me." Kurt cried and wiped quickly at his tears to keep them off his face.
"You're our son and you're doing well and we want to be there to support you, either way." Carole pulled out some tissues and blotted for Kurt.
Burt nodded and squeezed Kurt's shoulder. "We wouldn't miss anything you do for the world."
"Yeah." Sam nodded, he hadn't been there for the first play off-off Broadway but he'd been with them the last opening night off-Broadway. "'Cedes sends her love. She's got a major concert but said she'd be here next weekend for one of your shows, or the whole weekend, which ever."
"Sounds like her." Kurt beamed in happiness and Sebastian squeezed his hand. "Rachel, Finn, Santana, Brittany, Elliott, Jerald and Blaine are already inside. I knew there would be a fair amount of you, so I got you a box."
"You didn't have to do that!" Burt would have been happy sitting in the nose-bleeders if it meant he could watch his son on stage.
"I upgraded the tickets." Sebastian admitted. The lights flickered and Kurt groaned, he had to get going.
"We'll see you afterward." It was Kurt's Broadway play but they knew it wouldn't be his last. They'd be here for all his successes and failures, though they knew those wouldn't be often if at all. They headed off so Kurt and Sebastian could get one last moment before he went on the stage for the first time for a full audience.
They held each other's hands and rested their foreheads together. "You've got this." Sebastian breathed and Kurt breathed him in slowly, filling his lungs before releasing his breath.
He nodded, his forehead rocking against Sebastian's. "I do. I've got this." He pulled away reluctantly and slipped the ring off his hand, there was the slightest bit of a tan around his ring finger where it had sat, as tan as he ever got, but makeup would cover that up. He couldn't wear it, he was supposed to be portraying a teenager who had never had sex much less a kiss, so he couldn't be engaged or married.
It was hard, it was the first time he'd removed it since Sebastian put it on. He gave it to Sebastian for safe keeping and then with a quick kiss he darted away before he changed his mind and went backstage, readying for his cue. Trying to focus on that and not the bare spot on his ring finger, where he now realized he played with it often, twisting it around, rubbing it for luck and reassurances.
The lights went on and the play went off without a hitch and when the lights went down, the crowd erupted into applause. Sebastian might have been imagining it but he didn't think so, the crowd was even louder when Kurt came onto stage. People definitely started their standing o when he appeared to take his bow.
Nobody who knew Kurt had expected him in the role he played. He had said he'd gotten the lead role, but everyone thought he meant the second male lead. They thought he would be Moritz, so easy to see him fitting into that role, shy, soft, sweet, unsure about sex but willing to learn if presented in the right way and then being upset that he'd been taught that at all because it made it worse and being harassed by others. Sebastian had prepared himself to watch Kurt die on stage, he'd known about the play, had read up on it.
He, like the others, hadn't expected him to play the radical, helpful, mature and wise Melchior but once he was on that stage, he was the perfect fit. They thought Jesse would be one of the rougher characters, ruder, crueler, but no, he was the one who was playing Moritz and he made himself believable.
It was an incredibly well done play, the actors all did a phenomenal job and they sucked you right into their world, made you think that you were living high school all over again, even if you weren't ever those characters or went through their challenges. Most of the, now adults, in the box with Sebastian, including Sebastian, had been at least one of those character or some kind of amalgamation of them.
Sebastian was only slightly annoyed that he didn't know Kurt would be 'having sex' on stage with a girl. How he probably wanted to rub it into everyone's faces that not only was he believable as a male straight lead, but that he'd had sex with a girl in front of everyone too and nobody thought it was humorous or laughed because they felt awkward watching it. Tons of the actors on stage were non-conformity with their sexuality but that didn't mean they weren't good enough actors to portray whoever they needed to.
He found Kurt after the curtains lowered once more and slipped into the back where the actors were all gushing and gloating and glowing and Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hand mid-sentence and spun him around. "Oh!" Kurt let out a squeak before his hand was lifted and the ring slid securely back in place before Sebastian placed a kiss over it and Kurt's finger. "'Stien!" He wrapped his arms around Sebastian's shoulders and pulled him down for an excited kiss.
Sebastian didn't disappoint him and pull back, he put his hands on Kurt's hips and pulled him directly in contact with his entire body.
A throat cleared nearby and the girl tapping her foot looked strangely like Rachel for all of a second before he realized it could have been a sister but it was the girl on stage playing Wendla. Kurt laughed and pulled away slightly from Sebastian. "Sebastian, this is Lila, my co-star." Kurt winked at her and she beamed widely at Kurt. "Lila, this is my Fiance, Sebastian." She did lose a little of the sparkle in her eyes at that knowledge but she stiffened her lips and smiled at Sebastian too.
"Welcome, it's nice to meet you. I can see now why he rushes home from practice and doesn't go out with the rest of us." Lila's eyes scanned over Kurt. "Probably for the best, he'd be hit on constantly by the other boys once they got a few drinks in them. Also probably why he doesn't invite you out with us, doesn't want the competition."
Sebastian met the rest of the cast and Jesse eyed him wearily. "How much do you know?" Jesse finally asked.
"Good question, one I could also ask of you." Sebastian lifted a corner of his lips as Jesse begun to understand that Sebastian wasn't one to judge him based on his past actions, just the ones he did now.
Jesse nodded. "I've repented and I've apologized to those I did wrong, even years ago." He glanced over at Kurt who was surrounded by all the girls of the cast, very typical of how Sebastian caught Kurt, just a little surprising in this crowd since he wasn't the only gay guy, or even only 'effeminate one', far from it. Just showed that people would always gravitate around Kurt and that Kurt was unique in every social circle and scene. "I wasn't good to him or Rachel. I apologized to both their senior year after I flunked out of college in LA. I've worked hard to get here and he's been amazing, not holding any of it against me, even though he had reason to. I still apologized again once we were cast together and we had a long conversation. He's even more self-confident and assured and communicates what he wants and accepts than he had been even in high school." Jesse shook his head, utterly amazed at how mature and old Kurt was despite being so young.
Sebastian grinned, that was definitely his fiance. "Rachel's here, by the way." Sebastian liked riling her and Santana, he had to get his fun somewhere, and he liked riling Finn. He still hadn't forgiven the tall boy for a few things over the years, mostly making him keep something big from Kurt and then more recently his screaming at Kurt over working with an old rival. It wasn't even Kurt's old rival, it was Finn's. Sebastian got over living with an ex, as had Rachel as she so delicately pointed out. Finn could get over this. "Except she's married now with a baby on the way."
"I heard she got married in high school. I thought it was utterly nuts. They've made it, I'm impressed. First or 8th or somewhere in between kid?"
"First." Sebastian laughed. "Santana is here too."
"Maybe I'll come up and say hi." Jesse's eyes sparked with mischief and Sebastian was glad he met this guy. He was totally behind Kurt and him working together.
Sebastian slid back over to Kurt and rescued him from having to give out more pointers on makeup or fashion and tugged him away. Kurt looked behind them to see Jesse following. "I don't think this is the best idea..."
"Shh, it'll be fun to watch." Sebastian winked at him and Kurt shut his mouth, still unsure but not impeding on Sebastian's fun, it's been awhile since he'd done anything like this with their roommates.
There was excitement and praise when Kurt walked in and they were too busy paying attention to him to notice Jesse come in behind them. They were still in the box and were going to remain there until the theater cleared out more and they were all together. It took a few minutes and then Jesse got bored with waiting to be shown attention.
"You look stunning Rachel, absolutely glowing, congratulations."
Finn was about to deck him but stopped at why he was giving the compliment. "Thanks!" She said happily and linked her fingers with Finn's. "What are you doing up here?"
"Well, I had to meet Kurt's family, I heard they were here." He looked up to Finn's red face. "Finn Hudson! Congrats man on the beautiful family." He made it sound as if Finn lucked into it and he kind of did. Kurt had engineered Burt and Carole getting together, had helped Finn and Rachel get together and stay together. Only thing Finn really did was work and go to school and be the best supportive husband ever. Rachel had been the one who decided they should get married at an earlier age.
Sometimes Finn was just so sadly slow and sometimes he was able to come up with great ideas practically on the spot. This was one of the slow times. "Thanks?" Finn didn't know why but he knew it was some kind of insult even though it sounded like a compliment.
Kurt frowned over at Jesse who shrugged and then shook his head and then nodded, Kurt was right, he was a changed man. He wasn't going to slip into old toxic behavior. "Seriously though, congratulations, I hope the birth is an easy one and the baby is happy and healthy and you have many more."
"One of these days I'm going to be the birth mother to Sebastian and Kurt's baby." She announced to everyone though no one had even suggested it and Sebastian started choking. They'd barely touched on the idea children over the last 5 years. It was always a hypothetical when it did get brought up. He was still working on getting Kurt to move out and down an aisle. He had other first steps he needed to accomplish first.
"Uh, no one asked you to, Rachel." Kurt patted Sebastian's back reassuringly and then rubbed it. "Besides, Finn's wife giving birth to my child might just give him an aneurism and make life full circle."
"Besides, that honor is mine, bitch." Santana snarled. Any other time it might have been good-natured but she and Rachel had been in a knee deep fight for months now and nobody could get them to tell them what it was about. Santana had threatened to move out more than once.
"Woah, woah, back the baby train up!" Burt was the one who spoke this time. "I'd like my sons to be married before they had kids, you know." Blaine and Carole were both nodding beside him, Blaine's just a little harder than necessary.
"And who knows, maybe Santana and Kurt's baby will fall in love with Rachel and Finn's baby and the happy circle can be complete." Brittany's words were a prediction and all eyes turned to her in horror, not that her predictions were right most of the time but even a broken clock could be right twice a day.
"No, no way is my baby getting married! It's just a peanut right now!" Finn was becoming a protective papa bear just like his parents before him. "How could you even think of it having – a baby of it's own?" He shuddered.
If Sebastian wasn't still having trouble breathing then he would be laughing hilariously on the floor with Jesse over the ridiculousness of this conversation and everyone's reactions. The only ones who were also secretly laughing but trying to hide it were Elliott and Jerald. But Sebastian was having trouble breathing and Kurt was staring at him as if he'd never seen him before; Well..., shit.
He was thanking Rachel so hard that night while he laid curled around Kurt who laid with his back to him, not even kissing him goodnight but not forcing him to take his arms from around him either. They were in the hotel suite with Carole, Burt and Sam either in the other room or on the couch. He was pretty sure he'd be on the couch tonight if it wasn't otherwise occupied.
Sebastian spoke quietly and in French in Kurt's ear. He knew Kurt didn't want to have a fight with his parents nearby nor after such a great night and opening show. Sebastian didn't want to ruin it for him either and he wanted to make up for the perceived problem they had earlier.
"What happened tonight, love?" He was careful not to use babe or baby right now. He knew it was about his reaction to having a baby. They hadn't discussed it in earnest since they got together and he knew tonight, right now, wasn't the place for it either, but he had to break through this ice forming around them.
"As two gay guys, we have to purposefully have a baby." Kurt said softly and still didn't turn to look at Sebastian. "It can't happen by accident at any time, like it does with Rachel and Finn or even, god forbid, forced upon Brittany or Santana or even one of them just choosing to go ahead and do it and go to a sperm bank. As men, we have to be more conscious and determined in our actions to have it happen. Except for where one of us just sleeps with a woman, but neither of us could probably accomplish that act even if it were forced upon us."
"I mean, one of us could always 'donate' our sperm to a willing recipient without the other knowing or going through all those hoops or even having to have sex with a female." Sebastian countered softly, it could still be an easier process and he wasn't sure if he was giving Kurt ideas or saying he wanted kids or what. He had never desired kids of his own and had never dreamed of the two of them being surrounded by ankle-biters. "As men, we can always change our minds if we decided to wait to have them or if one of us moves on late in life and decides to have kids then."
Kurt nodded and flipped over onto his back and stared up at Sebastian. "That's what I thought I figured out tonight, thank you for confirming it."
"Confirming what? I haven't said anything."
"No, but what you have said has spoken volumes." Kurt reached out and stroked Sebastian's jaw. "You don't want kids with me."
"Woah, woah, I just haven't given it much thought, we're still really young and it's a decision that I thought I would have be forced to face in about 5 to 10 years from now." Sebastian bit the bullet and was completely honest with Kurt. "You know how destructively possessive and jealous I am when it comes to you. Kids... kids are going to demand your time and attention and you being who you are are going to give them 150% of your life. I'll be lost in the shuffle."
"Never!" Kurt protested. "You're the love of my life, I will give you love and attention."
"But not like I've become used to." Sebastian pointed out.
"But 'Stien, that changes weekly as it is!" Kurt teased. "Depending on the outside demands on my attention and time."
"I can handle that because I know when you have a moment to think, it's about me. When we have kids it'll be them first then me."
"Can you honestly say that your first thought is always about me? Will always be about me if we have kids?"
Sebastian wanted to say yes but he wasn't sure. He hadn't thought about kids. "I just haven't even imagined having kids, having a life with kids, so no, I can't promise that. They may become a lot of my world too, I don't know. I haven't really spent much time with children. Right now though, my first thought is always about you. When I imagine a future, it's always you and me, doing whatever but always us."
Kurt tipped his head. "You do know that I'm not upset that you're not sure about kids, right? I'm not sure myself. I've never imagined my life past being successful on Broadway and the man I love at my side. That future has completed itself already and the rest of the future is forming itself, being created in my mind as we go because I had never planned that far. I never believed that I would actually be successful in New York and would have to go back to Lima with my tail between my legs. I never thought I would find someone I loved as much as you and who loved me back. I certainly didn't imagine it all happening before I was 22. If it were ever going to happen, I would have been in my 30s."
"You had said that you'd be married by the time you were 30 in that time capsule." Sebastian pointed out.
"That's when I was with Blaine and he was the one dreaming about life with kids. I went along with it because I was in love with him at the time. I would support his dream because I thought he was supporting mine. Karofsky's dream at the hospital included a husband and kids. I had never thought I would actually be a participating member of either of those dreams even though they both had me in the starring role of husband and fellow father."
"So you'd be ok if we never had kids?" The question seemed so final to Sebastian all of a sudden, but he was right, they could always change their minds. Not having a little off-spring that looked like Kurt running around though seemed like a sad future for the world.
Kurt pursed his lips as he thought about it. "Let's say that we're like minded at this time but we're going to shelve the discussion for another day if either of us feel differently. It's not completely off the table for either of us and it won't break us up even if we have differing opinions in the future."
Sebastian nodded. "I can accept that, there's a whole lifetime ahead of us that may influence how we feel about things later on and it will take each of us our own time to reach a final decision. We're too young to just say no at this time but it's not a goal with a time limit either."
Kurt agreed and they sealed their agreement with their mouths. "Let's practice not making babies." Kurt whispered in Sebastian's ear and they tried to be quiet, they really did but Sam's glare the next morning told them they failed that. They laughed and suggested Sam stay with the other 3 couples at the loft then.
He turned down the offer two couples were better than three, especially as one was older and in a relationship for longer, but just.
–
They went sightseeing with the family, every time they came up, they tried to hit another one of the iconic landmarks or areas seen in movies or TV shows. They were stopped constantly though if they tried walking through town. Now it was either Burt, Congressman Hummel! Or Kurt Kurt Hummel, as in Melchior? Sometimes some of them knew his other roles too and mentioned those.
Every once in a great while they'd get Sebastian Smythe, as I live and breathe, you're still alive?
They'd get a good laugh out of that one. Sebastian didn't hit the scene like he used to and apparently some of the scene in Paris had come to New York too. But he was also known because of his family situation.
Kurt pulled away to go do his next three shows that day and he left his ring with Sebastian to hold onto for the duration. Sebastian really hated this, hated that Kurt had to take his ring off for a performance. Sebastian never took his off, didn't have to. The only time he may even consider it would be when he was cleaning his hands where it rested or if he went boxing, but if he did that it was only for a few seconds, a minute at most. This was hours.
He understood why Kurt left it with him rather than the dressing rooms. Even as lead, his room was in the midst of the rest of them. Sebastian didn't like that people could see him changing and for someone who was always fully covered up, he wore very few clothes in the changing room but on stage he was usually fully dressed, even during that scene. Nothing was dropped or anything, the skirt was pressed up a little as he settled between her legs but that was all, actions and intentions were clear without more.
Kurt would never risk losing the ring, so he gave it to the person he trusted most to look out for it. He couldn't even keep it on a chain around his neck. There was a fear it would break and get lost, even on the strongest chain, be seen by the audience, smack Lila in the face during their scenes or still be stolen or lost during changing. He trusted that it would always be returned to him one way or another too, either when he asked or slipped back on without needing to.
Sebastian tried to go to every performance but sometimes other things came up, he was a Junior in his undergraduate courses. He had to start working on applying for his Masters' program and study for some very big upcoming tests so he could get in. Then later, he'd need to study for his boards. He had a lot of schooling ahead of him. Kurt could go on for his master's too but he was content with where he was after this year, like he said, he'd never dreamt of anything else but what he already had.
Sebastian did worry that once the buzz of this play wore off and he wasn't as busy with school and the band decided to deband in the end since they couldn't do shows, that Kurt might feel listless again, but worse this time with nothing to aim for. Sebastian needed to make sure he kept his fiance occupied and busy and coming up with new creations and goals. He might employ Elliott and Santana's help for that.
So, he swung over to the studio where the two were practicing when they felt like it. Blaine was there for some reason. "I think I should join you." Ah, he was moving in to the vacancy that had only been opened a couple of weeks prior.
Kurt had spoken to them the day before, thankfully about how now that school was ending he might be able to do a very late show with them after the play on the weekends, mostly Fridays and Saturdays and his last show on Sundays didn't go that late. Elliott was getting busier with work and so had agreed with that plan. Weekends only worked for Santana too, she could get done with their set and then go home to Brittany. She and Brittany occasionally went out to the clubs but now that she had Brittany permanently by her side in New York, was less inclined to do so.
Elliott and Jerald were talking adoption too and Brittany and Santana were starting to talk marriage.
Kurt knew it would only be a temporary arrangement but they hadn't played any venues in weeks and now he could focus more on that since he was going to have more energy to put toward it. They were going to start touring in a couple of months and would be gone for about 6 months but Kurt promised he'd fly back as much as he could during the tour and Sebastian already knew he would be traveling with them over the summer, especially as Rachel was due near the end of summer. He did not want to be there for that cattiness to start showing up or the birth to go down.
He didn't know how this would work once he was working a full time law office job. Even with his last name and skills and family background, they would not appreciate him taking off for the tour season. Even if Kurt was in fashion, he'd be gone for long period of time on tour around the world with the different collections and in studio designing, cataloging and so on. It's why Isabelle was always so busy, and how come relationship had never really lasted for her. Her partners were never able to respect her work ethic, they wanted her home when they were home, wanted her to have consist hours.
Her sleeping with the models on occasion when they worked late into the night hadn't always helped either, but that was usually when things were already rocky with her latest beau. The longest, best relationship outside her biological family was actually with Kurt. They still got together for a weekly lunch or coffee break. They were both incredibly busy people and neither faulted the other for having to cancel last minute. They were both also incredibly self-sufficient and were able to carry on at lunch alone or call someone else up who may be free.
Maybe Isabelle's lifestyle had conditioned Sebastian to be prepared for Kurt's, but he thought more than anything else, it was because he loved Kurt so much and knew Kurt loved him and tried so hard to give Sebastian all his spare moments, cutting out on after parties to spend time with him or inviting Sebastian to said after-parties. Sebastian had total trust in Kurt that Kurt would never cheat on him with models or fellow actors or just some guy off the street or one of his many guy friends. The offer had come up more than once and he'd always turned it down.
Kids were definitely a good thing to put on the back burner as neither Kurt nor Sebastian had time to take care of them. He toured with Kurt during the summer, he flew out to see the weekend performances in different cities and spent the nights in hotel rooms with Kurt during his Senior Year.
Kurt let his understudy have a few of the week day shows and flew home and spent the days in bed with Sebastian when he was home too or visiting his other friends for lunches when Sebastian was at school.
He gave his understudy some of the weekend performances and flew home to spend the entire weekend with Sebastian in another hotel room but this time in New York and they went out to their favorite restaurants and saw their favorite places and even went to a show together and neither criticized the acting.
Rachel had her baby and Sebastian just absolutely adored the little bugger. The entire loft took care of the kid and Sebastian was starting to warm to the idea of the loft again and maybe a little bit to kids.
Santana and Brittany got married and didn't move out. Santana was staring in commercials, a pretty regular gig surprisingly since she signed on to ones like Subway, Sprint or Insurance companies where they had continuity of actors and told a story through it. Brittany was a total math genius and she was working with the biggest brains on a government project. They had offered to put her and Santana up in their own housing but Santana forcefully and laughingly told them no. They stayed right where they were and had the biggest time on their hands. Kurt flew out to Ohio – which under Burt's reform acts had made it possible for them to get married in Lima.. They weren't going to get married until it was legal for them to do so in their hometown. Kurt stayed the week for the festivities and Sebastian flew out and joined them too.
Finn graduated and went to work full time for an airline as an "engineer". He was never going to be top dog but he definitely had his foot on a ladder and had promises of being able to climb it. Rachel went back to acting on off-off-off Broadway shows and community theater but she was happy and mellow now. She spent a lot of her time at home with her daughter.
Blaine had gone back to sleeping with strangers but Rachel told him he couldn't bring them into the loft any more, not unless it was a serious relationship. Sebastian applauded her for her backbone. She was standing up for her daughter's safety but it was definitely a step in the right direction, especially as she wasn't putting up with Blaine's bull anymore. Or at least that type of bull. She still adored Blaine to no end and wanted to have one of his babies if possible. He'd have to find a spouse first though but she promised to do so despite Finn's protests.
Blaine was going to graduate from NYADA the same time as Sebastian at NYU. Their graduation times were the same day and time and he was already making puppy dog eyes whenever Kurt was around to come see him graduate from his school.
Kurt kept saying no, that his place was with his fiance but he'd caught Kurt's startled gaze skate over to Sebastian when Blaine begged again. He was breaking in resolve and Sebastian growled and snapped at Blaine to back off. Blaine scowled and skid back into his corner. Kurt looked at him relief and snuggled up with Sebastian on the couch, trying hard to ignore Blaine's sad eyes.
Kurt was always going to go to Sebastian's graduation but he knew he was being worn down to saying yes to Blaine and then disappointing him. In the end, he made it to neither graduation events. He cried so hard over the phone that he refused to do a video conversation with Sebastian. He was in Colorado and was trying to make it home to New York, he'd taken four days off from the play just so he could be home early by a couple of days and ensure he didn't miss it and would be able to stay after to help celebrate. Then a freak blizzard trapped him in Denver's airport and traffic had stopped coming in and out of the city and state and there was no way they were going to fly anywhere.
Sebastian kept trying to make it a video feed so Kurt could see how serious he was when he reassured him that it was in no way his fault. That he totally understood and knew Kurt had anticipated flight issues but the weather had laughed at them. Kurt was not consolable and Sebastian ached to be in Colorado with him and wrap him in his arms and rock him and tell him again and again that it was ok. That though would have been the entire problem with this situation, they couldn't get to each other.
"You've always been so supportive of me, going above and beyond what anyone could reasonably expect and here I'm trying to do something just for you and I've failed! I'm a terrible fiance. I don't know why you're with me. I never get anything right for you."
Sebastian tried so hard to get Kurt to stop crying and hear him, but Kurt just kept crying. It was not the day of graduation but two days before. It was probably worse because while the airport was comfortable and had a lot of creature comforts, he was still trapped in a building. Kurt hated being trapped inside and especially because of snow. Cold weather was his least favorite weather. "You're going to be alone. It's not fair, it's not fair at all!"
"It's fine, it's just undergrad. You were there for my high school graduation and you've been with me the entire journey and you'll be there for grad school's graduation in 2 years." Sebastian hoped his words got through at least. "Find the hotel room at the airport and get some sleep, Babe, you're exhausted and all this crying is just going to make it worse. You'll see, once you've gotten some sleep you'll start thinking more clearly again and I know you, you'll find a solution."
Kurt was right though, he was going to be alone if Kurt didn't show up. Sebastian had wanted to keep it a more intimate affair and with just the roommates it was going to be a circus and if you added anyone else into that... No, he just wanted to celebrate with Kurt. His parents wouldn't have come anyway, they were in Paris this week, it was their favorite week to be in Paris.
Kurt had said something off handed to his mother who paused and looked at Sebastian in concern the last time they'd been there. "We can always adjust our trip, go the weekend earlier or the week after-" She glanced at Kurt too.
"No, go, it's fine." It was too. He didn't need his parents, he had Kurt. Kurt who had so incredibly subtly guilted his parents in almost changing a long standing tradition. His mom looked at Kurt once more for reassurances and while Kurt frowned, he nodded that it was fine. His man was so incredible, he'd never have achieved that on his own and Kurt had done it for him.
Sebastian called through the video chat option that night and Kurt answered, his eyes were still puffy and red and he was still sniffing but he seemed far more put together than the last time they spoke. They chatted and were naughty over the phone after Sebastian reassured Kurt for the 100th time that it really was ok, it was just another day.
He should have known that Kurt wouldn't have let it rest there.
More people than he could ever have possibly imagined showed up to his graduation and the roar of cheers was deafening and he couldn't keep the smile off his face. All of the roommates except Blaine were there. He had his own graduation that day and his parents had come to it too. Even Rachel, Finn and their daughter were there. Rachel had said that she was going to have Kurt and Sebastian's baby, he realized with a start as he shared a hug with them afterward. She hadn't even hesitated or stumbled over Sebastian's name or just left it as Kurt's baby. She had actually started accepting him as Kurt's one and only somewhere along the way. He'd missed that, and even more recently, she'd said she'd have Blaine's baby too if he could find a life partner while she was still in child-bearing years.
She was no longer pushing for them to be in a relationship together. She was pushing for them to be in separate relationships and she'd have a kid for each of her besties. Sebastian was in a bit of a daze as he realized that last hurdle was no more and hadn't been for awhile.
Burt and Carole were there. They said they'd brought Sam with too but that he felt bad that Blaine wouldn't have any friends cheering him on so went with Blaine's parents to NYADA but sends his best to Sebastian, he'd wanted to be there for both. Sam and Blaine were still really close and Sebastian and Sam never got there, at least not yet. He didn't fault the blond for going to support Blaine. "You guys did not need to fly out for me."
"You're our son too." Burt had pulled Sebastian into his embrace. "You've been our son since Kurt brought you home in high school and said that he's chosen you. You've only made me prouder and prouder as the years have gone by." Burt and Carole had come out for Kurt's (and Rachel's) graduation the year before, Finn's over Christmas and now his. Sebastian couldn't help the sniffle.
Elliott, Jerald and their son were also in attendance and Sebastian shook his head as he gathered Elliott into a hug and followed suite with Jerald. They'd gotten closer once Elliott got married and stopped flirting so much with Kurt. It irked Sebastian and so Elliott did it in Sebastian's presence all the time now. Still, Sebastian knew there wasn't anything behind it and so took it on the chin as best as he could. "You guys!" He didn't even have words for them.
Then he saw that his parents were there too. "You were supposed to be in France!" He accused as they pulled him into a joint hug. Tears were streaming down his face.
His mother pulled away and cupped his face like Kurt often did and her thumbs brushed away the tears that kept coming, partly because she was there doing it and partly because it reminded him of Kurt and the fact that Kurt wasn't there, was stuck in a hotel at an airport in the middle of a snowstorm. Just the word storm was enough to bring back the fear but Kurt was safe, he was inside and not going anywhere. He wasn't on the road daring the weather, putting himself in a dangerous situation that could repeat with a different result. He was bound for a flight out eventually but they wouldn't fly if it wasn't perfectly safe.
He tried to focus on the parents in front of him, who weren't overseas afterall but right here, watching him graduate.
"Oh honey." His mother cooed. "We didn't know you needed us this much. We love you, you know that, right? We just never wanted to step on your independent toes. Which is why we've loved Kurt so much, he's pulled us into your world weekly, even if just on the periphery and you need him and he needs you and it's nice to see you reaching out to others too."
"But what are you doing here? How did you know?"
"Kurt had this organized in a second." Burt answered and his own dad nodded.
"He was going to respect your wishes of it just being the two of you but he warned us that if we didn't show up if he called then to be expecting consequences. We decided to rearrange our flight to France anyway with that threat." His dad laughed and wrapped his arm around his mom. "He reminds me of your mother."
"That's funny, I thought he reminded me of you." She said looking up to his face. Those two had always been in love, Sebastian could never argue with that. They even loved him and he knew that, they just hadn't always shown it well.
"We were coming out for tomorrow anyway." Burt admitted. "Kurt said that tonight would be just the two of you so we might as well wait a day."
"So none of you were planning on coming and you're all here anyway?" He spotted Jeff, Nick and Hunter in the group too. "Oh shit, I almost didn't recognize you!" It had been a couple of years since he'd last seen them and surprised them by hugging them too. They'd never hugged in the past, were just pretty good friends while all of them were at Dalton.
"Kurt pulled a lot of strings."
"Yeah, heart strings." Hunter rubbed his chest as if Kurt was still jerking on it. "He approached everyone individually in a way that he knew would work on them. The bastard."
"Must have learned from those in his life who'd done it to him." Santana mused and he whirled around to hug her and Brittany too. He was so incredibly touched that they all showed up for him. "Except he does it for the benefit of others, not for himself or to hurt anyone."
"Hey, I did it for his benefit too." Sebastian said in her ear.
His mother started speaking in French, too overcome to continue on in English. "He's a great young man. He knew you needed us here with you and he got us all here."
"He really is." Elliott agreed before Sebastian could say anything.
"Since when do you speak French?"
"You never asked. You and Kurt never spoke it in front of me, but I would hear you two murmuring in French when you were on your own." Elliott shrugged. "I took it in school but I'm not nearly as fluent as either of you. I get by when I'm in Europe."
"I'm glad Kurt never learned that was a skill you had, I would have definitely lost him to you then." Sebastian laughed as he joked but Elliott raised a brow. "What?"
"I said you never asked. Kurt asked if I spoke any other languages and I said yes. We did a set in French and Spanish one time when we had a crowd that would have appreciated it a bit more than our usual gigs."
Sebastian tipped his head back in understanding. Kurt had been very upset about him missing that show; the rest of the time he was usually pretty cool about it, understanding since he couldn't always make it to everything too. Santana had held it over his head for weeks but then no longer found it fun when Kurt was upset too and she stopped bringing it up. That was earlier this year before touring started in earnest. It was one of their last shows as a group and they didn't know if they'd reform again when Kurt started up another show in New York or continue this show here. They could either come home and roost and people would come to see them or they'd start workshopping another show. Either way for awhile they could get back together if desired for a few more shows.
Sebastian hoped it was the former, he liked the crew Kurt was with and he didn't have to learn any new lines or anything or spend even more hours working with the director and actors on perfecting different scenes, what they had was working and they always tweaked it minorly with each new stage and audience. If they roosted, then they wouldn't have to go on tour again, no chance of it. Although Hamilton had been so sold out for the first several years that they had no chance of touring until more recently... It would depend on what Kurt wanted to do as well. Once they were done touring, his contract would come up again and he could choose to sign on for more shows or move on to another project.
Despite it being Kurt's doing, the fact that Sebastian was surrounded by family and friends and love was actually harder on Kurt than just not being able to go himself. He fought bravely to not appear that way and Sebastian didn't tell him that his mask had cracks in it. He knew what Kurt was doing and was touched by that too.
He spoke reassuringly to Kurt once more, telling him that he wasn't holding this in any way against him. He explained how appreciative he was for what Kurt managed to do with all their old friends and family. Thanked him for getting the family all there. Kurt couldn't look him in the eyes the whole time and Sebastian ended that night's conversation with an 'I love you so very much'. Kurt had said the words back, strongly and it was the only time he looked directly at Sebastian. His guilt and shame of not being able to be there for him was still palpable.
Sebastian ended the connection between their phones and laid on his back on their bed. He was nibbling on his lower lip, feeling so sad but not for himself, but for Kurt who was beating himself up so much on his end. He really didn't understand how much he'd done for Sebastian with this. He had never doubted Kurt's love but he'd moved mountains for him. Had showered Sebastian with so much love and thoughtfulness and this was just this week.
Kurt hadn't had the funds for grand gestures before, not like Sebastian but he'd done things in a hundred million little ways that told Sebastian just how lucky he was to have someone like Kurt in his life. Not that it was Kurt's intention, he just naturally did it for Sebastian, was just that thoughtful. It just kept kicking Sebastian in the gut every time he saw the small details, he was the luckiest man in the world to have Kurt in his life, for him to choose to love him. Sebastian had felt that he needed to do bigger gestures because he couldn't do all the small ones.
Now Kurt could do the bigger gestures too and it left Sebastian grappling with how he could possibly show Kurt that it was returned. Kurt never thought he did enough, was enough for Sebastian. Where it was Sebastian who never felt like he was enough for Kurt so he tried hard to be everything Kurt could possibly need. Now Kurt really needed him, needed to be there with Sebastian this weekend and he was stuck.
It was a hard lesson for both of them to learn, but one they both had to acknowledge at some point in their life. They couldn't always be there for each other when they wanted to be. Sometimes life got in the way. Still, any other time where they had even a modicum of control, they would make sure they used it to their full advantage.
Kurt was stuck at the airport for another 3 days. His troupe couldn't perform the play after all and he still wanted his four days off so his understudy went on to Vegas in his place while he flew home to Sebastian. They would have to swing around to Colorado again at the end of their tour and make up those days and tickets but it was a small price to pay for the safety of everyone involved.
Sebastian tried to reassure Kurt in person but he just showered Sebastian with love and affection and longing and missing Sebastian. It really had been the longest they'd been apart since Sebastian moved to New York full time. After awhile, he'd given in and let Kurt do it as long as Kurt was ok with him doing it right back. Kurt didn't say no.
Rachel rattled their curtain a few times when they got too loud and woke up her baby. Finn yelled at them to shut up, he was able to sleep for the first time that night and they were keeping him awake. They'd all laughed and Sebastian and Kurt would try to be quiet for a little while but it would get away from them again.
Usually they took it to a hotel room if they knew they were going to be extra loud but Kurt was sick of hotel rooms and wanted to be home in his own surroundings with his own people and Sebastian. They all liked having him around too.