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Chapter 16: Two Months
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Maybe Kurt's words jinxed them.
Kurt ended up back in the hospital the next day, he'd somehow managed to pull himself from Sebastian's arms as they slept and made it to the master bathroom to heave into the toilet. Even after he had no more to empty from his stomach. Sebastian roused to the sound and skidded into the bathroom to kneel with one leg on each side of Kurt and press himself to his back. Holding him with an arm around the chest and offering support (physically and emotionally) and helping him to still do what he needed to do.
The medical staff reassured him it was because Kurt's brain was making new pathways and trying to make sense of the injury. Also as his body detoxed from the pain pills, he might react similarilly. It wouldn't be that way every time. Their words were followed by Kurt having another seizure before they could even leave the hospital, it only lasted 20 seconds but it was long enough to freak Sebastian out again.
Sebastian demanded better trained staff, ones who knew more about head injuries. Kurt tried to soothe things over with the staff but Sebastian got what he wanted without an argument. Both he and Kurt had enough clout that they didn't want to risk a mistake.
The specialists confirmed what the ER staff had said but they still kept Kurt for observation for another night. Sebastian stayed right by his side. This time the rest stayed either at home or in their penthouse.
They had no further incidences the rest of the week and the check up was promising.
Blaine confessed and it was expediated. He plead guilty to the charges launched at him but they'd made a plea bargain and so he only got a month and he wasn't listed as a sex offender.
Sebastian was furious and if it weren't for the restraining order he'd enacted, he'd go do to Blaine what Blaine did to Kurt and ask them for the same considerations. Blaine's was far more thought out than Sebastian's would have been.
The lawyer, when Sebastian calmed down to Kurt's urging, explained that the facts of the matter was that Kurt was in Blaine's living space, even if it was listed under Rachel's name. He had been living there for years and Kurt and Sebastian had moved out and bought their own place. Rachel and Finn had done the same thing, same with Santana and Brittany and nobody else was registered as living there.
Kurt was there to see Blaine and things got out of hand. They could get him on assault and battery but attempted rape was still a he said, he said. Though the filing of attempted rape would go in his permanent record and be used against him if he ever got charged with it again, precedence.
Sebastian was pissed. He went and filed a civilian class lawsuit against Blaine. It would at least hurt his pocket book if nothing else, even thought neither he nor Kurt were in need of more money. They'd spread it out through their struggling friends or something. Sebastian won that lawsuit but mostly because Blaine kept being incredibly stupid.
Kurt voluntarily went to see a therapist. He said it was to help get him out of the house. They both knew the truth though. It was because he was having nightmares again and sometimes those nightmares would follow him into the day time. He would jump whenever he heard certain sounds. He liked having the windows open now, he never used to, thought it would invite too much grime into their house, even that high up. The sound of freedom was equal parts reassuring and terrifying, considering he couldn't get to it in his dreams, and in real life. It had been a cruel hope.
It was the therapist who suggested that Kurt go and see his attacker in a controlled environment. When Sebastian got word of that, after the fact, he'd demanded the therapist's license be reviewed and that Kurt was going to someone else. Kurt had taken that advice and went by himself to see Blaine in the minimum security prison he'd been sentenced to. Another joke if Sebastian ever heard one. Blaine was a violent criminal. Except he'd only ever been violent toward Kurt and Sebastian.
Kurt had come home sobbing and had pulled pillows and blankets from one of their guest rooms and took it out onto the fire-escape and refused to come back in. He slept out there for two nights. Of course Sebastian slept out there too, right up next to him, holding him as he randomly broke into sobs.
Sebastian called into work and took the days off. Sebastian was very worried when Kurt refused to go in for anything and had built a make-shift tent so Kurt wouldn't burn.
When he finally managed to coax Kurt back in, mostly because it was starting to rain and they were on a metal contraption, he'd taken them up to their bedroom and just held him for another several hours. Soon after that he was able to get Kurt to open up about what had triggered him.
He had to really pull back his desire to kill someone, mainly Blaine, but also that therapist, as he listened to the whole story, starting back in the loft. It was the first time he heard it, rather than bits and pieces and references.
Then he got to the point about being told he should face his attacker. Kurt had logged in and thought there would be a glass partition between him and Blaine. Where they had to talk through a phone, like they always had to in movies with a million other people doing the same and a guard at the door.
Instead, he'd been led into a room with a table and two comfortable chairs. There were a few windows, it was like a greeting room at a business center, complete with refreshments. It was a nicer accommodation than the loft ever was. Later they learned that because it was minimum security that the prisoners were allowed conjugal visits and along one of the walls was a bed that folded out if they wanted it and a shower with fresh towels behind one of the other doors. That had sent Kurt into another tail spin, that they'd put him in a room with his attempted rapist with a bed and shower?
Sebastian almost became violent himself with Blaine's lawyer and the prison staff. They even had beer and wine there! Kurt had been shown the room, Blaine had been brought in and then the security guard had left. He had not felt like it was a safe environment to confront his attacker. It was the opposite, actually.
He was determined to leave at that point and tried to open the door but it was locked from the outside. He had tried to pound on the door but Blaine had put hands on him again and pulled him back from the door with another hand wrapped over his mouth, keeping him from making any sounds. Kurt didn't fight, he was still very injured from the last time and he didn't want to become crippled.
Blaine didn't do more than just hold him to him and breath him in for several long minutes. He didn't move his hands to anywhere inappropriate, just pressed up against Kurt's back and smelled him. Kurt's heart was racing so fast and hard and wasn't slowing down even though Blaine didn't do anything else. He thought it would beat out of his chest.
Finally Blaine spoke. "I have looked for that scent everywhere for years. I have never been able to find it anywhere but on you. It wasn't the same when I borrowed your shampoo one day. I wish I could bottle it and wear it around my neck so I can smell it whenever I miss you."
That bastard, Sebastian thought during this part of the story, not for the first time, but he'd used Kurt's story about his mother's dresser against him. He also didn't fault Kurt for throwing it all away after that and finding a different scent.
"You're here to talk to me. So I'm going to take my hand away, we're going to go back to the table and sit across from each other like two grown adults. You are not going to scream or pound on the door for attention and help, understand?" Kurt had nodded and Blaine pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. Kurt shuddered. "Good." He slowly lifted his hand off of Kurt's mouth and Kurt did as he said he would, he didn't scream or draw attention to them.
He reluctantly followed Blaine back to the table and waited for Blaine to sit before he did the same. Blaine did it with a flourish. "The scratches have scabbed over." Kurt noted, intending to point out that he wasn't without claws and defenses but Blaine had laughed.
"Yeah, I'm hoping they scar, I'll look so cool with them there and it'll be a reminder of us, my little spitting kitten." He stroked them with his thumb. "They'll be easy enough to hide with makeup if I need to, but what a story! It'll definitely make me distinct on the screen and in the magazines."
Kurt couldn't say anything now, he wasn't sure if his throat would let him. Blaine reached out and stroked the back of Kurt's hand with his thumb and Kurt pulled back and nearly stumbled out of his chair.
"Relax! Relax! Come on, come back and sit. Ask me what you want to ask me." Blaine gestured back to the table and Kurt did but he kept his chair further back and his hands crossed over his waist. "Come on Kurt."
"Why me?" He finally managed to tear out of his mouth and it was the best question he could come up with.
"Why you?" Blaine asked confused. "Why you what? I love you, there's nothing else to it. You're mine, you belong with me and I maintain that we're end game. You'll come back to me one of these days. Sebastian just has your head on backwards."
"For 10 years, Blaine? I don't think so." Kurt felt more confident then. "Why did you love me? Why did you decide I was the one you were going to chase for years when you chased other boys for a lot shorter of a time, ones who turned you down. Why try to isolate me and take all my friends away?"
Sebastian thought he was a jealous ass but Blaine's answer proved to him that he was quite chill in comparison.
"Because you're mine and mine alone. I wanted you dependent fully on me, with no one else to turn to. I wanted to be your everything because nobody else deserved you. No one else deserves to see what you're capable of. Not your body, not your voice, not your talents, none of it should be seen or heard by anyone else. I almost got you to that point, where you would have been content to be a house husband performing only for me all of your talents but someone else came in and brainwashed you."
"You were trying to brainwash me. Let me tell you something else too, Sebastian wasn't why I broke up with you. Yes I wanted to be with him but I was already pulling away before that. I just didn't know why I was feeling that way until Sebastian gave me the space to breath and recognize that you were trying to control my life in every single way. You just hadn't succeeded, had you? I missed my dad and my family and friends in Lima. So I went back, and you had to follow to try and isolate me from them too. You would have never succeeded with my dad though, you know that, right? He'd have never allowed you to succeed to split us up. He would have taken me into a deprogramming camp before he let you take me away physically."
"Your father is meddlesome!" Blaine snapped. "I would have gotten you away from him eventually, maybe not in the way I would have wanted but I would have gotten you and everyone who cared about you for myself. I would have had everything good in your life for myself, the way it should be. Most of all though, I would have had all of you."
"I would have never sat around waiting on you hand and foot and performing because you wanted me to." Kurt shook his head. "You have to know that, right?"
"We would have been married shortly after I graduated high school and I would have chained you to the house if I had to. It happens all the time and nobody cares. I would have had rights to make you obey as I saw fit."
Kurt had blinked at him with wide eyes. "What?"
"Domestic charges are overlooked in a lot of states." Blaine shrugged. "If anyone could hear your complaints, that is. Your friends and family wouldn't even know where you were, I'd be big and famous but they'd never get a chance to ask me about it nor know which house you were in."
"You- you would have- you've really thought this through." Kurt stood up and pulled away when Blaine came toward him. "That's kidnapping! Or abduction, whichever! Guards!"
Blaine chuckled and pressed him back against a wall with Kurt's hands between them. "Not if you're married."
"We're not! We never will be and never were!"
Blaine tilted his head. "I almost got you there, once." He leaned in closer and Kurt called for help again. He took a step back when the door opened and the guards never saw him invade Kurt's space. They didn't have cameras on in there. "I'll get us there again."
"No, no you won't." Sebastian confirmed that statement, he would never let Blaine close enough to even try.
New bodies infiltrated their space after that, just two, but it was more than Kurt was happy about. He and Sebastian had a shouting match in the privacy of their bedroom, but they knew their voices probably carried all the way down. Sebastian won the fight, mostly because Kurt was too winded to continue. He still sent glares and glowered at Sebastian whenever they were in the same room together.
"You're a fucking celebrity and celebrities have bodyguards, Kurt." Sebastian snapped one day when he couldn't take another glare. They hadn't done more than share a bed since that argument and he was surprised Kurt even let him do that much with how angry he was.
"I've been a celebrity for awhile now, Sebastian." Kurt argued right back.
"Yes, but you were never seriously injured nor had a kidnapping threat before."
"He's in prison!"
"I wouldn't put it passed him to hire someone to do it for him. Since he's not your husband, he's more likely to get away with it, less suspicion on him. Except he was an idiot and villain monologued it to you. So we have fair warning. The threat level increases the closer we get to the wedding." If he had done it during their last major row 8+ years ago, then Blaine would have been very low on the suspicion list, despite his stalker-like behavior.
"So they'll be gone after the wedding?" Kurt asked as if the idea hadn't occurred to him until then.
"No."
"Sebastian!" Kurt shouted and winced as it was too strong of a yell.
"Sit down." Sebastian ordered and came close to put hands on Kurt's shoulders. "Breathe." He always kept a distance between them when they argued, he didn't want to accidentally hurt Kurt physically.
Kurt kept that distance too since he was usually throwing arms out and around him to emphasize a point. It was safer for both to be apart when they argued, but somehow they almost always managed to be right in each other's space for some epic makeup sex. Unfortunately, that was off the table for now. Except Sebastian always followed Kurt up to bed and slid in with him and Kurt never told him to sleep in another room or not to hold him.
Sebastian squatted in front of Kurt and held his hands. "Look, you knew I was going to be even more protective after what happened,. What you did by going to the prison and his thinly veiled threat, that was it. I'm not going to accept anything more happening to you. The bodyguards are staying for life. We've talked about it before, how my world can be dangerous if they were so inclined to behave that way. Your world is dangerous too, we knew this psycho but there could be others out there too. It's not unheard of. Either they'll want to hurt you for being yourself or they'll want you in some deranged way. You're a public figure now on your own merit. Your father is a congressman. I'm a lawyer and heir to a couple of empires. There are so many sources out there that could try and hurt us. Look, I'll hire some for myself whenever I'm out and about but you've got a track record and being indoors hasn't protected you from it. Plus they're more hands to help if you get hurt doing something."
"Hurt myself, you mean." Kurt pouted. "Or do something like try to get out of a cab?"
Sebastian laughed even though Kurt wasn't trying to be funny. "Yes."
"If I quit being a celebrity, would the guards go away?"
"No." Sebastian shook his head, voice firm. "If you had never been a celebrity and this was an isolated incident, even then, no. Blaine is still out there and he's going to be unless he does this to someone else. I don't wish that upon anyone, even if it means he'll go to jail for life. We can afford them for life, even if we both lost our jobs and couldn't find anything else and if nobody helped us out."
Kurt had looked into his pleading green eyes then, had seen just how much Sebastian cared about this and he looked over at the men who were playing cards. "They're going to be awfully bored if they're having to follow me around for life."
One of them snorted and they both chuckled as they looked over to Kurt and Sebastian. They hadn't meant to eavesdrop but the argument was like watching a movie. "Sorry, it's just we've only been with you for a few days and we're definitely not bored. You're mostly housebound but you've even found ways around that. You're always up to something."
Kurt had decided to replace the curtains in their third guestroom, he didn't like the pattern anymore with the furniture and comforter. They had caught him trying to take it down and nearly hurt himself. "That's not recuperating or relaxing." They said by way of greeting and Kurt nearly fell, forgetting they were there since they had made themselves scarce while Kurt was going to go 'take a nap'. They were making rounds to make sure all the windows were secure except the ones Kurt demanded stayed open. They were still going to make sure the screens were intact. Yes, they were on the 10th floor and there was no way up to the penthouse unless you were spiderman or something, but they still checked. The emergency exit was also secured and no trace of Kurt and Sebastian sleeping out there less than a week prior.
"I'd got distracted." Kurt defended.
"In a room a mile away from your bedroom?"
"I was just checking on the dust level, like I always do when I couldn't help but keep looking at those curtains and deciding they were all wrong for the room." He'd done neurotic things like that before, especially since he was cooped up but this one was motivated by a different reason. Blaine had picked them out and it had been a housewarming present.
Kurt and Sebastian had forgotten all about it until Kurt went to change the sheets after Isabelle's stay. She'd lived with them until the day prior to his needing to change those curtains. It didn't matter than she'd done that too, trying to take something off of Kurt's plate.
He still went in there to make sure it was all up to his standards. Her standards were the same so he hadn't been worried, but he always did his own checks. He wanted everyone to get the same kind of experience when they stayed over, every time. If Blaine crashed the night, it was usually his room too.
Sebastian had once said that it wasn't good to give them each their 'own room' as it would only encourage a repeat of the loft, where they'd all want to move in more permanently. Rachel and Finn had for a couple of months after all and both sets of parents had claims on certain rooms for each time they visited. That one he couldn't argue with though, neither the Rachel and Finn and Marie situation. Karofsky had never been invited over nor would he have been allowed to stay the night. Sebastian was glad they'd been out of the loft before Karofsky started coming over or staying the night, before they even knew about him.
They weren't really around much, just when Sebastian was at work or they went out. Isabelle had teased them when they met up with her for coffee after work. She sucked her words back when she saw Sebastian's set features and Kurt's put out look.
"I've never been heir though." She said instantly. "Nor was I ever close enough to someone to fear for their safety because of who I was. Nor was anyone I was with and had even a slight emotional attachment to, hurt in any way." She said quickly. "I'm not the right person to judge or even tease." But she was famous in her own right, just with very select circles. Broadway may not be movies or TV but his face was still out there. Hers wasn't.
It was even worse because Spring Awakening was being released on a popular streaming service as an exclusive and so his face would reach even more screens, reaching even more people.
He was put forward for a Tony for his last performance and the awards were the month after the wedding. Nobody expected him to do his own hobnobbing this round. It was a hard decision but one for the best, as he stepped down from the lead in the one he was currently in. The producers tried to convince him otherwise but he knew that it wasn't going to work out.. "I can barely raise my voice without hurting my back. I can't dance and sing at the same time or even individually right now. It's best if the understudy gets it, the performance must go on."
"We can push the release date. We want you, Kurt as our lead. We've practically written this part for your range and versatility. We want your face and reputation attached to this project."
"I respect that and am very appreciative for the support and praise and effort but I don't even know if I will be ready or given approval even after the honeymoon. I've already been assured that I shouldn't even bother in the meantime. I'm just getting my feet to walk again. I don't want to delay you for that long without even a clear time frame."
"We can accommodate that!" They reassured. "Your part isn't even heavy on dancing and we can rework it to incorporate a wheelchair if we have to."
"I- are you sure my attachment to the project means all this much for you? That's a lot to rework rather than just lowering the key."
"Yes." They pushed.
"Let me talk to my doctor."
"Your husband says no." Sebastian took the phone from him and got on the line with the producers. "It may not be official but I'm his husband in all ways that matter, have been for years and I say you need to take his no at face value and not push him to change his mind. He gives in too easily and too much. It's too easy to guilt him into things. I'm here to say no for him. He already gave you an out and I suggest you take it."
"Mr. Smythe!" They'd dealt with him when the contracts went out, they knew what a guard dog he was when it came to Kurt. The contract was always so far in Kurt's favor it was laughable if it had just been an up and comer asking, but it wasn't, it was his lawyer fiance demanding it. Kurt probably would have been happy to be paid in peanuts as long as he got to perform on Broadway. Was happy to perform anywhere really in nearly any part but his motivations had gotten him exactly where he'd wanted to be, on the big stage.
They knew the contract that Mr. Smythe had developed meant that Kurt could back out at any time for any reason without consequence. If they tried to do the same thing, they'd have to pay him full wages for all shows even if he didn't ever do every show, and a bonus of a $10,000. If they tried to drop Kurt, they'd be out a lot of money. They always signed the contract because they knew what a strong and reliable actor Kurt was.
"I suppose it's better that we take Kurt's dropping out rather than being pinched to have to go on without him down the line and having to void the contract on our end." They communicated with each other where Sebastian could hear them and he smirked, they were doing exactly what he'd suggested. Having Kurt attached to the project even in name only would have assured them more money than having to drop Kurt but they didn't want to lose both.
"Ok." The man came back on. "We accept but when he's ready to come back to the stage, we'll work with him again."
"As expected." Sebastian hung up with them, not believing they could be so inconsiderate as to not give their actor the space to heal and return when ready, especially when he was telling them exactly that.
Kurt was scowling at him again. "What?" Sebastian asked handing him back the phone and he was instantly sending a text to the producers in an apology for Sebastian's attitude and how he would love to work with them again the future.
"You didn't have to talk to them that way. I could have at least talked to my doctors-"
"Kurt, no." Sebastian shook his head. "You're a hotter commodity this way too. And if they come to you about this role again, we're turning them down. They can write you a new part, a better role even. You don't want to be anything but original cast, not 'this cycle's'."
"'Stien, I was excited to play that role." Kurt's voice was just a little pouty but he was tired, that had already taken a lot out of him.
"I know." Sebsatian squatted before him and pressed a kiss to his cheek then the other. "Other roles will come around and you'll nail them like always. You'll win so many more Tonys and they'll invite you to Hollywood and you'll turn them down and they'll ask again and again and you'll always say no because New York is your life."
"I mean I wouldn't mind staring in Wicked when it finally gets a green-light for a movie version."
"Only if it's more old-school producing though, right?"
"Yeah, they nearly ruined Into The Woods." He looked at Sebastian oddly. "You have listened to what Rachel, Blaine and I have said about those plays?"
"I always listen to you, even when I don't want to. I know far more about fashion than I have ever dreamed I would, and I grew up with Aunt Isabelle." He shook his head. "You listen to all my gripes about the briefs."
"Yeah, I didn't know I could absorb that much knowledge about law, especially business law until I heard you on the phone with one of your classmates, and then sat through all those dinners with them or your coworkers now." Kurt teased and tapped him on the nose. "I could write my own contracts now if I wanted to."
"Yeah but you won't because you find that super tedious and I actually enjoy seeing what ridiculous things I can put in there and they'll accept. You'd also write one and if they said no, you'd take it without a further argument."
"Shut up, no I wouldn't."
"You know there's only one way to shut me up." Sebastian's lips twitched and Kurt followed his unspoken suggestion.
He would like to say that was the last thing they argued about before the wedding. Kurt had accepted the bodyguards with some resistance and he still tried occasionally to convince Sebastian they weren't needed. Tried to get away with leaving them behind when he went to go hang out with one of the girls or Finn or Elliott and Jerald. Sebastian was surprisingly not worried about Elliott or Jerald. They got a free pass in his jealous stints. He even let Elliott take Kurt to one of his physical therapy appointments even though he knew they would ask Elliott to rub down his tired muscles afterward.
They didn't take offense, they had always stayed a respectable distance from Kurt so as not to be noticeable by anyone else while outside, but they were noticeable inside. Especially in Finn and Rachel's small abode. He wasn't supposed to go all the way to Long Island to visit them, they were supposed to come to the penthouse.
The bodyguards didn't stop Kurt but they did report back, not that Sebastian wouldn't have learned about it anyway from someone, most likely Finn or Rachel or Marie. Sebastian nearly had a meltdown when he found out and the guards were given permission to overrule Kurt's destinations. Long Island was safe enough but it was too long of a ride out there for Kurt's back.
Kurt had gotten very upset about that too. He was channeling Rachel when he called them spies. He apologized later to the bodyguards, they were just doing their job but he should have some say in what was reported to whom and when and what the guards were allowed to do or not do. He did not apologize to Sebastian.
Sebastian did not back down either but he supposed he might relent to that request in the future, Kurt did have a point that he was controlling him through the bodyguards. "Once you're back on your feet, literally, then I will take away that condition. Until then, they can say no to taking you outside the perimeter."
Kurt really didn't like that and called him a different version of Blaine, which Sebastian really didn't like. They slept in separate beds that night and didn't talk to each other for a couple of days.
Sebastian came home with the bodyguards' contracts that Friday and tossed them in front of Kurt. "I've signed over their duties to you. They're now yours in all ways. You are now technically their boss and whatever restrictions you give them, they'll abide by and they will not reach out to me unless you are incapacitated in some way."
"Really?" Kurt looked at the paperwork excitedly and flipped through it, he was now very familiar with contracts and signing things over to someone else. He didn't need Sebastian to go through it with him. "I could fire them if I wanted?"
Sebastian's jaw hardened and it looked painful but he nodded. "Yes."
"I won't, I agreed with you that we should both have someone looking out for us, watching our backs with the crazies out there." Kurt put the paperwork down but didn't hand it back either. "They have their own quarters downstairs, I bought them a place to stay that's nearby but not in our space." He folded his hands over the paperwork when Sebastian jumped and turned toward him at that knowledge. "They're allowed to come up here and do periodic checks, especially when neither of us have been home all day and we're due home soon or if they haven't heard from me in a couple of hours and I'm supposed to check in."
He'd really thought about this, hadn't he? Sebastian realize he may have gone overboard with the 24 hour surveillance now that he heard Kurt talk about it so reasonably. "I can get behind that."
"They'll be with us if we go out, but my space at home is going to remain that, mine, ours." Kurt continued. "I get to decide what's too much for me and if I want to go and visit my family in Long Island, that's my choice. It was fine, I had them stop twice so I could get up and move around and I protected my back the entire time. I took our town car there, complete with trained driver." Kurt wasn't just doing things willy-nilly, he wanted to heal and he wanted to heal as fast as he could, but he was also not willing to just sit still at home, that wasn't who he was. Sebastian would respect that.
"Then why have you given me such grief about it? Why have you fought me if you were planning to do this?" Sebastian took the seat across from Kurt, still not within touching distance at this time. He didn't trust them to not just start blowing up at each other again.
"Because I didn't like being told what to do and when to do it. You weren't even listening to my side of things, just assumed that you knew what was best, listening to them over me." Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and Sebastian sighed.
"I'm sorry." Sebastian massaged the back of his neck. "You were right to call me names and I was acting like Blaine."
"I went too far with that one. I should never have said that. I'm working on it but when I'm mad I always go for the most hurtful thing. I'm working on that too. Thankfully you don't make me mad too often."
"Seems daily these days."
"That's because tensions are high and we're trying to find a new balance after being tipped over sideways. The fact that we can't communicate through sex like we normally do hasn't helped. That has only increased tensions."
"Well, we can have a form of sex." But the afterglow wasn't quite the same as a full workout between them would have been. "Not that we've been using it much these days."
"We probably would if someone wasn't so scared."
"See- arguing again." Sebastian held up his hands in defeat. "I can't do anything right any more."
"Oh, 'Stien..." Kurt got to his feet and came around and carefully straddled Sebastian's lap, trying to get close to him without sending Sebastian into a panic attack over this position. "It's not that you can't do anything right, you're trying and I don't actually hold any of it against you. We're both going through a lot right now and it's hard for us to talk about it. Neither want to relive what happened and neither want to bring it up and yet we can't ignore it and just throw it right in each other's faces without meaning to. It's going to take time and patience on both our parts and that patience is going to have to extend to our arguments because those too will slowly fade again."
"You've talked to your therapist today, haven't you?" It was a new one, one that was approaching Kurt in a way that he needed and wasn't giving him stupid ideas.
"Yes." Kurt nodded. "I discuss you a lot because you're so important to me and such a big part of my life. She's helping me through navigating my own emotions over what happened, yours and how we're now approaching each other because of our reactions to the situation. We've both lived through it in our own ways and we've both been worried about the other as well as ourselves. There's also a big life changing event on the horizon which isn't going to change much but what we call each other. It's still stressful in it's own way(s)." Kurt bent so he could kiss Sebastian. "I'm sorry for stressing you out about the bodyguards and trips. I'll tell you from now on as long as you trust me to take care of myself."
"I'm sorry too, I know you have a good head on your shoulders, you're not only insanely talented but you are smart and quick and usually have a very good judge on a situation. You get yourself out of pickles."
Kurt nodded along to Sebastian's words, the situation with Blaine notwithstanding, that was all very true. He had gotten himself out of that too in a way, just not good enough. Blaine was insane and determined. It was not a good indicator of Kurt's abilities. Even when they went out now (or before this) and guys hit on him in the club, Kurt had a way of shimmying away, thanking them for their interest but he was taken. The ring on his hand was easy enough to flash too if they misunderstood. That usually worked for Kurt and if not, then Sebastian was always around.
The ring was very handy for Sebastian too, he just flashed it if guys were getting too obnoxious, or were girls. Girls were a little worse, they didn't get that he was gay but he was flattered by the male attention sometimes. Especially when Kurt made it obvious for him that he was taken. Often he'd do something like he was now.
"Now that we got that sorted, I'm going to tell you that I'm planning to go to the Hamptons to see the girls." They both braced themselves for Sebastian's reaction.
He said it through gritted teeth. "I appreciate you letting me know and I accept that you know what you are doing. I just wonder why they can't come here?"
"They were here not too long ago. It's my turn to go see them."
"It doesn't have to be one to one." Sebastian tried to relax and ran his hands along the outside of Kurt's thighs. Touching Kurt like this was helping. "We could always reverse this and I could do all the thrusting for us." Sebastian suggested silkily, he hadn't thought about this position, he had limited his thoughts to what they could do in the bedroom and on a bed.
Kurt's eyes lit up in interest. "Think that will work?"
"Possibly, but you have to let me know if -"
"I know the drill, Seb." It was so intentional and Sebastian laughed at the callback. Kurt started to get up.
"No, not yet, I like you straddling me like this. I don't think we've been able to be intimate like this enough." He liked touching Kurt. It's probably why everyone thought Kurt was the bottom. He ran his hands from Kurt's knees to his hips and then squeezed that delectable behind. Kurt jerked forward, yes, they hadn't been able to touch enough between the fear and the anger.
"Before we do anything else, I have to say this. I know you're not like Blaine. I will never actually think that. You're overbearing at times because you're worried and protective. He was just trying to control. Please know that if I ever throw him at you again, that I know it's not true. That it could never be true. I don't actually want to hurt you when I lash out."
Sebastian always knew it to be true but it was hard to remember in the heat of the moment because it was always like a slap to the face. Sebastian nodded and rubbed his hands against Kurt's strong muscular thighs. "I do need to be reminded of that though every time. One of these days you might actually mean it."
"No! Never!" Kurt gasped and rested his forehead against Sebastian's. "I've known you long enough to be absolutely positive on that point. Tell me honestly, have you ever fully trusted Blaine?"
Sebastian paused. "No."
"I haven't either since I saw what he could get like when he drinks. He drew me in with the prince charming act, taking me away to my very own castle and away from my problems. It didn't last long though, I felt more like Rapunzel in a tower than Cinderella. With you, I've always felt more like Sleeping Beauty or Snow White or the Prince in the story."
"You've always been Prince Charming."
"Which one?" Kurt teased and there was a pause.
"All of them? Eric, maybe."
"Eric wasn't a Charming." Kurt laughed.
"Well you certainly pulled me out of my world and into yours." Sebastian teased some more, his hands going back to Kurt's waist and pulling him forward on his lap. "I've always just wanted to be a part of your world."
His hand moved to between their bodies and Kurt's gasp was in pleasure and didn't protest Sebastian releasing both of them so they could make love on the chair in the kitchen. It wasn't bottoming or topping this time, that could wait. Kurt tipped forward, resting his forearms against the chair behind Sebastian's back and sought out his mouth.
Their arguments were more playful again after that. There was only one other time that Sebastian just got exasperated with Kurt.
"The music doesn't matter."
"How can you say that?" Kurt looked over at him in shock. He was getting more of a range of motion again, the therapists said it was ok and he was now able to sleep on either of his sides and even his stomach but he was to still mostly be on his back and to walk around as much as he could but stop and sit if he got tired. Preferably lay on his back if he got tired. "Do you know know who our friends are?"
"As long as you give them free reign of the mic, they're not going to care if you've picked out any songs."
"So you wouldn't care if you walked down the aisle to Juicy Wiggle?" Kurt looked at him dubiously.
"Ok, fine, you're right. I would care about that because you know I would much rather be walking down the aisle to I'm Sexy and You Know It."
Kurt rubbed his face. "That's not even the right title that you're butchering. It's I'm Too Sexy knowing you that's the right song. Otherwise you mean Sexy and I know It."
"See, exactly, you do know it." Sebastian teased and came forward to peck Kurt on the lips. "I thought you already knew what songs we were going to walk down the aisles to."
"I did. They were perfect but they're at the loft."
"Oh." Sebastian had forgotten what the original motivation for going over there had been. "If I send Rachel over there to pick them up, would you even use them?"
"No." Kurt admitted and Sebastian nodded, he had a feeling that would be the case. They'd be too tainted with bad memories for awhile.
"Do you want help picking out new songs?" Sebastian thought he'd always picked out the perfect songs to express his feelings to Kurt.
"You can pick out your songs." Kurt gave him to do. "I need to also figure out if I'll even fit into my tuxedo, and Rachel and her dress-" Kurt shook his head. "We might just have to switch it with Brittany's but that would make it full length on Rachel and a short summer dress for Brittany."
"They'd both probably like that better." Brittany loved showing off her legs and Rachel had started dressing more sexy there for a little while but then she'd gone back to her old style. Kurt was still embarrassed to be seen with her but kept meeting up with her in public regardless. "She was always meant to be a mom with that style, wasn't she?" Sebastian joked and Kurt picked up on what he was saying right away and laughed.
His socializing hadn't been hit at all with his restrictions.
Kurt had talked to the parents too and thanked them all for coming when he was in the hospital. He chatted with them nearly daily, at least one from each set, usually his own father and Sebastian's mother.