"In, and out. In, and out." she breathed.
Massie simply rolled her eyes, but exaggerated her breathing.
"Breathe softly, don't think about anything around you."
Check, check and check. Done, done, and done.
"Now, we're going to dive in."
Massie's eyes widened at that. Shit, Dylan. It was only monday morning, couldn't this wait?
"Think of all your worries, your anxieties, your concerns."
The list Kendra Block had given her daughter came to mind, and she visualized it sitting next to her. She wanted to punch it.
"Let them float around your mind, like clouds. Then, with every exhale, push the clouds away."
Massie sat there, holding her pose on her yoga mat while she enthusiastically blew out in front of her.
"Massie, you aren't blowing up a balloon." Dylan retorted in her calming voice.
The brunette rolled her eyes, for what felt like the eleventh time since she had entered the studio.
I mean, come on. The tranquil music in the background, the dim lighting, the 'free your mind, free your soul' written in gold script writing all over the studio's mirrors. The snack bar in the lobby loaded with fruit and vegetable platters, RX bars, almond butter packets, as well as various kinds of infused water.
The carpet you walk on to enter the studio was a plush and fluffy white, with a sign at the front door that asked clients to remove their shoes before entering. The walls were painted a calming powder blue and white, and it seemed the entire building took the same theme on.
Everything was blue and white, down the toilets which were also covered in the fluffy white plush carpet. Odd choice, Massie reasoned, but whatever Dylan wanted, she got. She still didn't seem to have too much common sense, considering who the hell would put carpet in the bathrooms? What if someone spills their drink or pees on it? That must be a bitch to clean.
It was clear Dylan didn't get much guidance with creating her sacred space. But, then again, the only people in her life that ever gave her that guidance was the pretty committee. When they broke apart, she really didn't have anyone.
That didn't bother Dylan. It meant she could do everything she wanted to, and do it on her own. She wouldn't have anyone else to attribute her success to, but the downside was not having anyone else to share it with.
"Massie? Massie?" The brunette briefly heard, and snapped out of her own thoughts to look over at her best friend since they were in diapers, who now felt like a total different person.
"You know, yoga is supposed to clear your head of all the problem you have. Why do I feel like all it did was cause you to think more about them?!" The redhead pondered out loud, looking at Massie pointedly.
The brunette shrugged her shoulders, still standing in warrior pose like Dylan had last instructed her.
"And now, child's pose." The redhead breathed, and Massie retreated.
Her mind was going a million miles a minute, and she knew Dylan could see the wheels turning in her mind. Massie was never out of things to think about, that was for sure. She just didn't see a resolution coming out of these broken friendships.
What was she afraid of?
Not rejection, because she knows all the girls would kill to be back in her arms and be best friends again. No, that wasn't it.
It was of things not being the same.
She couldn't just walk into Claire's house and make herself a cup of exotic tea Claire purchases on a monthly basis from India.
Massie wasn't able to just waltz into Dylan's apartment, plop her feet on the couch, and snuggle into the massive amount of heated blankets the redhead has in her home.
No, she couldn't just surprise Kristen for lunch on Wall Street when she was bored or had nothing going on for the day.
The only thing she could do was walk into Alicia's house with her own key, and rummage through her massive walk in closet when Leesh was on set filming for the day.
But that wasn't enough, not for Massie. She wouldn't settle for just one friendship being rekindled. She knew these other ones would be a bitch to fix, but she did it before, didn't she? They faced bigger enemies, more problems, harder problems before. Why was it different now?
Maybe because for once, they all have their own lives. And for once, their lives didn't revolve around Massie's. They think for themselves, act for themselves, do dirty work for themselves, not someone else. They don't need her outfit approval and rating, they can dress themselves, use their own connections to set up dress meetings with their favorite designers, bring themselves into the Hamptons. Everyone else is so independent, and it's like Massie lost herself in them gaining their own independence.
No no, that was crazy.
Dylan, seeing how her Alpha was so concentrated in whatever her life brought to her, ended the session with a 'namaste'.
"Now, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" The redhead asked, as she filled herself and Massie a glass of cucumber and mint infused still water.
Massie was munching on a maple sea salt RX bar as she debated whether or not to dive deep into her problems.
Honestly though, who better to talk to than Westchester's best life coach? Dylan, out of everyone, dealt with the most shit throughout her childhood. Her mother giving her an eating disorder like it was a vintage chanel purse, her sister's constantly toting new boys around her to remind her she was almost always single, her father being nowhere in the picture which spurred on a set of ah-nnoying daddy issues.
Yeah, Massie thought, Dylan had all that shit on her plate, plus mine and everyone else's baggage. Yet, she was always the kindest ear to listen, and tried really hard to help the girls through whatever problems they were facing.
"Well," Massie started, taking a seat on one of the plush white (of course) armchairs by the window while Dylan flipped the open sign to closed, and brought the blinds down knowing her friend needed her and nothing was more important than that. Little did Massie know, Dylan had been waiting for this moment for years.
So, with that, Massie spoke. She poured out her feelings, her worries, and her stresses.
How she misses the old times, where the pretty committee girls all got along and there wasn't any shady drama-related shit going on. How they were all united, and everyone felt safe. She felt safe. How her phone used to ring forty times a day from the girls alone, and how now she's lucky if she gets that amount of messages in a week.
How condescending it was to her that Claire was trying to preach anti bullying at her school, but at Alicia's wedding she was asked to write a speech and all it consisted of was her slandering Alicia. How Alicia cried about it after in the bathroom, and Massie had to fix her makeup because of how hard Alicia cried. The fact that Alicia cried at her own wedding night, and not out of happiness or joy.
How Massie had reached out a few times to Kristen's office, but the secretary told her every time that she'd take a message and Kristen would get back to her. She never did. It was almost as if now that Kristen had her own money, she had no use for Massie.
How in college, Massie became so nervous and insecure that she developed her own eating disorder. How she needed Dylan, but every time she'd call, Dylan would forward it to voicemail and send her a text saying she'd call her later. She never did.
How she's jealous Alicia got to settle down with her high school sweetheart because it felt like no matter how long they'd been together, she's always guessing what was going through Tristan's head. When he and her father had meetings, she was always shut out and was tired of it. She didn't understand why, considering she studied for two years under her father.
How upset she is that her father is basically giving her the company because she's marrying Tristan, not because he thinks she can handle it on her own. He doesn't think she's smart enough, had enough experience, too pretty to work, the excuses keep coming. She feels like now without Tristan, she'll have nothing. How this marriage has to work because her future is literally on the line now.
How her mother actually expected her to be able to mend things with Derrick Harrington. Like she had done something wrong in that situation? Massie wasn't the one who was supposed to be apologizing, or trying to make amends. Derrin- (he doesn't deserve that nickname anymore) -Derrick was the one who called it off and barely gave her an explanation. ("It's not you, it's me. I need to grow, and the only way is without you.") Like, what?! Massie was supposed to fix that when she didn't even know what was wrong?
By the end of her ranting, she could admit a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. Dylan, on the other hand, sat there with tears welled up in her big green eyes before tackling the brunette in a bone-crushing hug. Damn, when did she get so strong?
"I am so sorry Massie! I am so sorry I never called, I am so sorry you've been dealing with all of this alone. I'm so sorry that I haven't been there, I just didn't think my presence was wanted anymore." The fiery haired girl spewed out, and Massie could tell she had wanted to get this out for a long time, so she kept quiet.
"I never thought it was even possible for us girls to stop talking. After what Claire did at Alicia's wedding, I flipped, which I know wasn't right of me and Alicia is probably still pissed at me, but no one else was doing it! I went through everything with my company alone, I didn't have you girls to help me with any of it!" She cried.
"Dyl...you put carpeting in the bathroom."
"I KNOW! See?" Dylan replied, giggling through her tears.
And just like that, she knew she had Dylan back. It wasn't as hard as she imagined, but she knew Kristen was going to be a hard one to crack. Mentally she debated dealing with her last, or maybe bringing Dylan by alongside her.
"Have you spoken to Kris lately?" The alpha asked softly, looking up at Dylan with her big amber eyes. The fire was gone, Dylan noted as she dabbed at her tears with a kleenex.
"Yeah, we actually just got brunch about two months ago. Have you spoken to her yet?" Dylan asked genuinely, absentmindedly reaching for a bunch of grapes and beginning to munch on them.
"No, no, I haven't. We should get some lunch together soon, though. I do want to see her again, I miss having her around."
"Say no more!" The redhead grinned cheekily, before reaching for her phone. "How does Wednesday sound?"