Chapter Three : Hatred
The words Roger had said, was mocking Ace.
He cursed himself in his head. The man looked exactly like the pictures from the bounties he had seen from before. The long mustache and fierce smile was on point, his most defining features. He should have known better than to trust him and let Sabo and Luffy met him.
At that moment, Ace was blinded by his rage that tasted bitter. There was a scream from deep within that forced its way out from his mouth, wanting to be heard and seen. It was as if his mad soul has unleashed a demon. All he felt was anger and hatred. His fists clenched and his teeth locked up, not wanting a sound to escape.
He was holding it all his life. The anger that was building inside him was dangerous. It clouded his judgement and his mind, wrath focusing on him. The only thing on his mind that moment was to hurt the man in front of him. Hurt the man who made him suffer. Hurt the man who made his life miserable. He'd do anything to make himself satisfied for what the man had caused, a lifetime damage of self-hatred that will never fade away.
His knuckles turned white from clenching his fist too hard. He gritted his teeth from an effort to remain silent, his hunched form exuded an animosity that was like acid– burning, slicing, potent. His face was red with suppressed rage.
And when Roger tried to set a finger on his shoulder, he swung around and snapped.
He jumped forward, crossing the distance between them. His fist was aimed on the older man's face and yet in a matter of second, Roger caught his hand midair with ease. Grunting, Ace tried to kick him in the stomach but his small hands didn't reached. Roger immediately let him go but he should had known better. There was no way that Ace was going to stop now. He was given a chance and he will take advantage of it.
"Ace—" Roger tried reasoning him out but he didn't care. He stared at him with pitiful eyes, treating him as if a child. Ace hated being seen as weak and vulnerable.
Ace's gray eyes challenged Roger's with a savage glare. He launched himself up and once again tried to punch him in the face. This time, Roger just parried. Roger was obviously playing around with him. Of course Ace knew that his strength compared to his was far more greater because of the experience. And so, Ace was sent flying away from him.
Ace was back on his feet on an instant. He spat and lunged forward again. Fury was taking over him, even worse than before. His growls were wild. His instinct was taking over. It told him that he needed to eradicate the man and once he did that, he will be set free from all the pain and suffering he inflicted in all of Ace's life.
They continued their one-sided fight with Ace the one not giving up. And once Roger had enough, he grabbed the boy in his collar making him screeched in surprise. Roger slammed him in the ground, tasting dirt in his mouth. Ace hollered, willing to do anything and not caring about the consequences. He wanted to win this one. Ace dug his fingernails in Roger's arms. Roger didn't flinch, still holding him down on place. Dark red blood oozed over Ace as Roger's arms started bleeding badly.
"Let me go, you damn bastard!" Ace barked, voice was breaking. He struggled to break away from his heavy grasp.
"Not if you don't stop attacking me first." Roger replied, still adamant.
Ace screamed. His growls was heard all over the place. Adrenaline was still rushing in his body. This was disgraceful to him, someone with a high pride. He never loses a fight because once he did, it will all be over. His howling were turned into small whimpers, his larynx become sore, giving up. And once his screams started to die down, Roger let go of his grip. But Ace remained on place, not moving at all. The only thing heard from him was his small coughs as he grasped for air. Roger sat down five meters away from him, silently staring at him with sympathetic eyes.
Ace did not know what to do that at that point. His anger was not gone, not ever. It was something he will carry to the grave. Exhaustion tool over his frail body, screaming for sleep. All he wanted now was to lay down and sleep together with his brothers, thinking all of this as a nightmare. He breathed deeply, calming his racing heart and thoughts.
"Where is Rouge?"
Just when Ace started to calm down even a little, the man dared to ask that question. He really do know what buttons to press to make him angry.
"She's..." Ace muttered, turning to not face him. He bit down his lips to the point he could taste blood. No one has ever dared to ask him that question before. His throat was constricting, disabling him to answer immediately.
"She's?" Roger encouraged.
"She's dead."
Ace turned back, eying Roger. The man was colored shock, black eyes were wide and mouth dropped open. His breathing became fast-track, becoming more erratic and louder. He sat there in defeat, smacking a hand on his forehead before slowly rubbing his whole face. He looked at Ace with a different expression now. Ace cannot denied his reaction. His father had showed pure sadness upon learning his mother's death.
"She died giving birth to me... To save me..." Ace revealed, gritting his teeth. It was another reason why he hated his existence. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been conceived, none of it would have happen and his mother could have been alive today.
Roger was stopped from replying. The bushes made a loud sound. The two turned their heads, cautious on who it was. It was Sabo who was panting loudly, steadying his hands on his knees. Ace guessed that he came here after hearing the loud screams and curses, worried about his brother.
"Hey," Sabo greeted to Ace, tone laced with concern. He jogged towards Ace in an instant. He offered his hand to Ace which he accepted, pulling up. Ace stood and rubbed the remaining dirt in his shirt.
"Ace," Roger called, hands reaching.
"Don't." Ace hissed, turning to face him with yet another threatening glare. "Don't bother me or my brothers again or else..."
Roger remained silent. He closed his eyes and waited for Ace to finish his sentence.
"I'll kill you."
He grabbed his brother's hand and together, they started to ran back to their hideout, never turning back. Sabo was throwing glances at him with worry but Ace did not want to explain it, not now anyway.
Running. That was how Ace solved his problems.
Sabo hated seeing Ace this angry.
He thought that his brother was making progress once Luffy came crashing into their lives. Sabo was there to witness how Ace had changed slowly when they became brothers. Ace has had problems with his past and identity, questioning his place in this world. Luffy and Sabo supported and reassured him, wanting their brother to keep on living. Sabo knew that that wasn't enough for Ace. Ace was always chasing after something, a neverending feeling of lost.
Just when Ace was making progress about his demons, he came back to square one. The man who Ace hated with a passion appeared without notice.
Their way back into the tree house was filled with an intoxicating silence. Sabo did not dare to ask Ace about anything that just transpired, respecting his choice to tell it himself. He will talk to him in his own time. Sabo didn't want his emotions to dwell all over the place. Ace never knows how to control himself thus ending up an emotional wreck everytime.
Ace was the first one to climbed back, movements were slow but sure. He was hurt, bruises and cuts were all over his body. Sabo offered him help but Ace turned him down grunting that he can handle it. Once they were at the top, the first thing that they saw was Luffy. Their younger brother was deep asleep, not knowing anything about the events that transpired. Sabo was glad that Luffy was a deep sleeper. Their younger brother would not want to hear Ace's screams in the forest at night.
Sabo immediately went into action. He went over a chest containing their first-aid kit used whenever their daily fights were over. Ace, on the other hand, went to changed his dirty clothes.
"I don't need that, Sabo," Ace refused, pushing him away.
"Yes, you do. Do you want to explain to Luffy tomorrow why you're bleeding?" Sabo countered, placing the kit next to him.
Ace opened his mouth ready to argue again but no words came out. Sighing, he sat down and let Sabo do the work.
"Do you believe him, Ace?" Sabo probed with a mumble. Using a clean cloth, he put pressure on Ace's worse cut located on his left arm.
"He could be an impostor but he knows my mother's name..." Ace replied in a muffled voice, flinching over the pain.
"Everyone can get information somewhere..."
"I can't explain it, Sabo. But something is telling me that he's the real deal. Somehow, I do know he's not baffling."
"Should we tell your grandfather?" Sabo suggested, meeting his eyes.
Ace bit down his lips. "What do you think about his stories earlier? About Jiji?"
"I think he's not lying. He has a glitter in his eyes as he spoke. It was something you'll see in a person when they're reminiscing."
"But how, Sabo?" Ace quivered, his tone was still in a whisper not wanting to wake up his younger brother. "Why is he here? He's dead even before I was born! How can he just appear out of nowhere!?"
Sabo did not know an answer to that. With a sigh, he replied. "Who knows, Ace. Not everything is what is seems."
"Now don't get too philosophical to me." Ace stated dryly, whilst rolling his eyes.
Silence befell upon the two brothers. Both were lost in their own thoughts. Sabo focused more on treating him, putting antiseptic to prevent infections. Ace was flinching everytime the cotton made contact to his wounds but didn't say anything. Once it's done, he put bandages on the large ones.
"You're lucky most of your wounds aren't that deep." Sabo commented, finishing his work.
"Sabo... Ace... Meat..."
The two boys turned to Luffy, thinking he might have woken up. It turns out, their brother was talking in his sleep. A drool was escaping from his mouth and probably dreaming about food. Luffy squirmed, turning side to side trying to find a comfortable position.
Ace sighed again. "What should we tell Luffy."
Luffy didn't know about Ace's true heritage. They never hide things from each other but that was the one secret he can't tell. It was because Ace was scared on how his younger brother would react. Sabo had been understanding enough and let Ace tell it once he felt it was the right time.
"I agreed with the part that we need to stay away from that man. Luffy will understand. He will obviously side us, not the man he just met." Sabo reasoned out, clicking his tongue. "But he saved Luffy's life..."
"Was it also just a bluff?"
"Oh please," Sabo snorted, rolling his eyes. "Luffy does not know how to lie to save his life."
"But he's gullible, Sabo." Ace countered, a frown forming on his face.
"Can we please just drop this? I'm tired, you're tired. Sleep for now, Ace." Sabo pleaded. He stood up and put the medical supplies away.
Ace ventured to their makeshift bed. He laid down and reached for his blankets. He breathed in the familiar scent and hugged his younger brother. Comfort and warmth washed over his body, exactly what he needed right now. It has been a tiring day. He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to take control of his body.
Sabo laid down at the left of Luffy. With one final glance at Ace, he closed his eyes wishing that sleep will take him sooner.
Roger has never been so excited before.
Sure there were a lot of excitement adventures do gave him but nothing compared to this one.
The love of his life, Portgas D. Rouge, is pregnant.
Roger wanted to shout. He wanted to let the whole world know that he is going to be a father soon. He wanted to tell his crew, especially Rayleigh, that he is going to be an uncle. But Roger already disbanded his crew. He stopped all contacts from anyone. Too bad, they will not know the news of his child anytime soon.
But of course, sadness loomed over him.
He was dying from an incurable disease.
His child was going to grow up fatherless.
Roger always had a plan of having a family. But not this way. Not when he was only months away from dying. Don't get him wrong, he did not consider his child to be an accident. Their child is a blessing. The best blessing Roger would have ever received in his life.
Roger decided that he will try to be optimistic. Sure the child will grow without a father, but it will still have the best mother in the world.
And so, he set out to wander in the market of Baterilla. He put on a cloak, not wanting to attract any attention to himself. His time there was quick, buying only the things he needed.
He immediately went back to the house where his lover and him were staying. He opened the door and the first thing he set his eyes upon was Rouge. She was sitting on a rocking chair, gently moving. Her long strawberry blonde hair was blowing with the wind. Her brown eyes were full of love and affection. She was rubbing her tummy as she sung a sweet lullaby.
"Welcome back," Rouge greeted with a smile.
Roger announced enthusiastically. "I bought a sailor's outfit for the baby!"
Rouge stared at him for a long time. She blinked several times before letting out a laugh. "Already? We just learned about it yesterday. You're too excited, Roger."
"Of course, my love. Everything for our child." Roger replied.
"We don't even know its gender." Rouge said. "Have you think of a name yet?"
"Who's excited now?" Roger teased.
He grinned widely. It was a name that has been in his mind for a long time now. This is what he is going to be called.
"Ace," Roger answered.
Rouge stared at him. Her eyes were wide open. She showed him a sweet smile before nodding in approval.
"Gol D. Ace." Rouge said happily. "If its a girl, what about Ann?"
"It is settled then."
Roger held Rouge tightly around his arms. He buried his face on her shoulders. He enjoyed the smell of her sweet scent. It has a way to calm him down every time, even just her mere presence was enough to soothe him.
"I love you, Rouge."
He can see Rouge smiling.
"And I too, my love."
Roger could not sleep.
Not because of his sleeping place but because of the memories that haunt his mind. He wished it was the prior though. It would have been easier that way.
The memories that once Roger has treasured, turned to be the most painful ones. The whole year he spent with Rouge was the best moments of his life. For Roger, those memories were just months ago. But reality struck him hard.
Rouge is dead.
Ace has been raised without a mother nor a father.
And his own son hated him.
Numbness. That was what Roger felt. Inside, he felt empty. Not really knowing what to do with the new profound information he had acquired.
Roger has experienced lots of deaths in his life but nothing compared into this pain he was currently feeling. It was Rouge, the love of his life. The only woman in his entire life that he ever truly loved. He was hoping that he can see her again but that dream was short lived and was quickly shattered.
This was the only regret Roger had before dying. Not being able to be there for Ace while he was growing up. And what made it worst, was his mother not being there to oversaw him also.
He sighed. Trying to calm down his aching nerves. He was still shaking because of the the racing thoughts in his mind. He bit down his lips as his throat constricted.
"I promise you, Rouge. I will never give up on Ace..."
He whispered into the wind. Hoping that somewhere and somehow, his lover will hear his declaration.
And with that, Roger mourned everything he just lost.
A/N: Ah Oda-sensei, why did you let this family suffer so much? They deserved better!
EDITED 26/09/21