Ahh! I'm so sorry you were all angry over that cliffhanger, hope this clears things up. I'm trying to make things as least wander-y as possible but warning: the first four-ish paragraphs could be considered wandering. No lemons.

Chapter 24. Awful

As the door shut, Hermione sighed and parted from Draco, faking breathlessness. "There is just no figuring you out, is there, Granger?" He inquired, a smirk playing on his lips as he moved to kiss her once more. She panicked, wanting to move away but genuinely unsure of how to navigate the situation. There had been ways to escape before, excuses, but at that moment she couldn't come up with any. So, she let him. His lips were unpractised and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him in a way that felt more claustrophobic than romantic. Balling her fists, Hermione tried to work out where to place them that would make this snog session less uncomfortable, but her indecisiveness caught his attention and he pulled away. She grinned instantly, deciding to rest her arms on his shoulders, her nails still digging into her palms. "You've never done this before have you?" He inquired, and she frowned.

"What? Of course, I have!" Her defensiveness made him smirk once more. She knew what he was doing, and she could feel herself falling for it.

"Then prove it," he baited. Draco was decidedly playing to her competitive nature and she tried to resist the urge to do just as he suggested. He's just trying to make you feel like you're the one who's bad at snogging to get him to kiss you more, don't let him, she insisted mentally, watching his ice blue eyes taunt her. But what if it is me? What if my uninterest in him is causing me to be a bad kisser? Defeated, she closed her eyes and thought about Severus, before pouring that passion into the kiss. Something shifted, and suddenly she felt a tingling sensation move from her toes up her legs. He grazed her lips with his tongue and she let him enter, his arms pressing on her lower back in such a way that her pelvis pushed into his and she moaned. This only encouraged the boy, releasing her mouth and sucking and nibbling down her neck. Gripping his button-down shirt, she licked her lips and gasped as he ran his hands up her jumper.

"Oh gods, Severus," she moaned, mentally begging him to tear off her clothes and fuck her right there as they stood. A heat inside her was navigating her decisions beyond her control and primal need for him took over. But he stopped. And her eyes flew open. "Fuck," she cursed aloud, coming back to her senses and looking down at a very wide-eyed Draco Malfoy. They nearly jumped apart and her stomach flipped inside her. "Oh gods," she whispered, placing her hands over her mouth and staring at the boy she had snogged.

"Severus? You were picturing bloody Snape?" His voice was shrill and panicked, that quickly replaced her erotic tingle with one of dread. He was definitely not Severus. He didn't move though, he just stood there staring at her and gaping. Which was fair, he had just found out the girl he was snogging was thinking about his Godfather while wrapped up in his arms. He had also been under the distinct impression that she was in love with him. She couldn't blame him for being in shock, but that didn't lessen her spiralling as she thought about every single consequence that came with her revealing the secret. How will I get out of this? Who will Draco tell? Did I fuck up the mission? Will Voldemort kill Severus for this? I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up, she chanted mentally, feeling her legs becoming weak.

"Oh gods, oh gods. Don't tell anyone, I'm sorry, oh gods," she begged, feeling herself spiral further into her panic attack. Hermione couldn't even see the blond or how he was handling it because her vision was blurring and she was feeling very sick to her stomach. She wanted to sit down and throw up, or simply turn back time and take it all back. All of it, asking Severus to tutor her, letting Draco fall in love with her. Everything. Then Severus would be okay, she wouldn't have caused him pain.

"You're fucking Snape?" He barked, making the wave of nausea hit her once more, harder this time. A chair appeared behind her and she toppled into it, putting her head between her knees and attempting to catch her breath.

"No," she protested groggily. Next, the room provided a bucket that she immediately made use of. It was quiet then, and Hermione felt a hand rest on her shoulder. She felt her hair being tied back and then her back rubbed, but she was still so worried about being sick again that she didn't dare look up. After her slip up, he couldn't possibly have stuck around. And why would he be comforting me? She wondered, summoning a class of water to swish about her mouth beside she wearily sat up. "Draco," she whispered when his form came into view.

"I needed to know," he remarked despondently.

"Know what?" She asked, tears prickling her eyes and the sick still sitting in her stomach like a rock.

"If you're sleeping with Snape," he clarified, barely able to meet her eyes as he did. She willed herself to put a sincere expression on, channelling her despair of breaking Severus' trust and potentially risking his life. If she didn't manage to recover from this, she would be the cause of his death.

"I'm not. He would never- I would never-" she lied, still working at getting enough oxygen. His palm on her back, rubbing in calming circles helped some and she inhaled a shaky breath. "I just- I had feelings for him. And well, Dumbledore found out, and that's why- why he's not tutoring me anymore," she stammered. It was hard enough to lie, but it was proving nearly impossible to do so when she was in the midst of a panicked episode.

"And why he put us together in class," Draco decided. She thought for a moment about what he could mean by that conclusion, but she thought it would be best not to test her theories.

"What?" She implored, hoping he would enlighten her as to his train of logic.

"He knows that I- I have feelings for you, so I assume he was working to transfer your feelings of sorts." Makes sense, she mused, willing herself to continue portraying embarrassment. Malfoy heir seemed to be awful good at explaining things away, so perhaps she wouldn't have to fabricate the reasons for her actions all on her own.

"You have feelings for me?" She asked, hoping to draw his attention away from her feelings for Severus.

"I thought that was rather obvious," he quipped, almost defensively.

"Even after I said his name while we were snogging?" She wondered with a slight chuckle. However, Hermione regretted the test the moment she said it, having inadvertently drawn the conversation back to the man she was attempting to shift Draco's thoughts away from.

"That does put a damper on things," he laughed, thankfully. "But yes, I suppose so." There was a moment of silence while they both digested the situation and what had just been said. "Is that why you sent me such mixed signals?" He inquired eventually.

"What?" Hermione feigned ignorance, hoping he would once again answer for her.

Thankfully, he did. "You thought you liked Snape, so you were worried how your feelings for me would affect Snape's opinion of you or something to that effect," the blond reasoned.

"Something to that effect," she echoed.

"But you do?" He wondered.

"Do what?"

"Have feelings for me?" Draco clarified.

"I suppose," she lied.

-x-

After Draco helped her clean herself off and right herself, she left. He was determined to finish whatever it was he went to the room for originally and she wasn't about to stop him. She had to find Severus and explain what she had done, what she had almost done. The guilt lingered that she had snogged Draco and enjoyed it, but that was easily buried by the guilt of nearly revealing their relationship to the son of a Death Eater. Had he not been sympathetic, had he simply been angry and charged right back to his father like he always did. Severus would be dead and it would be her fault.

Hermione reached his office and knocked on the door. It pushed open, which was odd considering he mostly had it locked, but she pushed in and looked around the room. The witch expected to find him, or someone waiting for him, but the room was dark and empty. Quietly, she cast her Patronus and whispered to it. "Go see if he's in his chambers," she commanded. Hermione waited just inside the door for the otter to dance off and through the door in the corner of the room. It took a moment, but the silvery animal returned to her, shaking its head. She wanted to sink to the floor, but the girl was determined to find him. "No? Is he in the castle? On the grounds?" It took longer this time for her Patronus to scouring the entire estate and castle before returning to her. Shaking its head once more she collapsed on the ground in defeat. "Where are you?" She breathed into the emptiness.

Afraid he had been called off to you-know-who she didn't dare send off her otter to go find him, wherever he was. So, with nothing else to do, she returned to her dormitories. It didn't shock her when she stepped through the portrait that Harry and Ginny were snogging on the couch, the couple not even looking up at her arrival. She took the opportunity to run up to the boys' rooms, which were unsurprisingly empty. Wherever Ron was, she knew it likely had to do with getting over her, so she counted her blessings and grabbed the Marauders map before tiptoeing up to the girls' rooms. Lavender and Parvati were also distinctly missing and she mused they had all found someone to enjoy Valentine's evening with.

After sitting in her cot, she closed the curtains around her and set up a silencing spell before activating the map. She pulled the tomes from her jumper pocket and resized them before setting them on the floor beside her. She scoured the map, looking for any sign of Severus, but he was distinctly missing. So, she waited. She watched as Dumbledore paced in his office, which Harry had noted he was doing more as of late. She watched Minerva sit with Tonks and Moody in her sitting room before they left around half past 1 in the morning. There were a lot of students wondering about the castle, and she wished she could warn them as professors or Filch neared them to usher them off to bed or dole out detention. Ron returned quite late, though he was never one of the ones that were caught by an authority figure. However, he had spent an awfully long time in a sixth-floor alcove with a third-year Hufflepuff, which disturbed her for a moment before she remembered exactly how large the age gap was between her and Severus.

As students ushered off to bed, she continued waiting for her potions master to return but he never showed up. Hours passed and she was well aware of how tired she had become, even though she had taken breaks from looking at the map to read one of her novels, but it only proved to make her sleepier than more awake. She wished she'd summoned some coffee before she went to bed, but she knew that rousing a house elf to make her a pot would only draw suspicion to her from her roommates. So far she had managed to avoid interacting with them upon their return as they had likely assumed she was closed off for a reason. Which she was.

It was nearing 5 in the morning and Hermione had yet to see Severus enter the castle by any means. She had finished one novel Severus had gifted her, though she had been too distracted to really enjoy the plot and was getting exceptionally tired. She knew that the moment she fell asleep, his name would appear on the parchment and she would regret passing out. But her eyes were so heavy and she was just so exhausted. Finally, sleep overcame her will to stay up.

-x-

She had slept through breakfast, but when she awoke, she checked the parchment nearly instantaneously to ensure that Severus had gotten back to the castle. To her dismay, he hadn't. She checked it over again, multiple times, in case her vision had simply needed time to adjust and she missed his name. But he wasn't there. After dressing in a simple burgundy jumper and jeans, Hermione pattered down to the common room to find Harry frantically searching the cushions of the sofa.

"Good morning, Harry," she groaned. Hermione's attempt at a cheery morning greeting was hindered by her lack of sleep. Her friend never looked up, dropping to the ground to search under the couch without ever acknowledging her. "What are you looking for?"

"The map!" He grunted. A blush on her cheeks, she tucked the parchment behind her back and stepped sideways.

"Oh no, I'm sorry you lost it. Did you try your room? Maybe Ron's got it?" She offered, sneaking away as he frantically searched the other seats.

"I already asked him, said he hasn't seen it in ages! I should have never left it out of my sight," Harry ranted, still never bothering to look up at her.

"Well I'm off to lunch, I hope I see you soon, big match today!" This comment only proved to frustrate her friend further and she took the opportunity to sneak out of the tower. There were loads of people in Gryffindor colours, and only a few sporting green and silver. Most of them were filing out of the building to get their seats in the stands, but a couple were heading into the Great Hall with Hermione in search of a bit of lunch before the game. She found a spot on the Gryffindor benches with Ginny and Ron, Neville and Luna. Hermione had opted to shrink the map and tuck it into the pocket of her jeans.

They were talking about the game, and how Luna was once more sporting her hand-made lion headdress, but Hermione wanted nothing more than to reach into her pocket and check to see if Severus had come back yet. There was an odd sensation that he was back, but she knew it was likely hope rather than an actual intuitive sense of his presence. Just as she had begun to reach around and pull out the parchment, Lavender appeared, making Hermione nearly jump from her seat.

"I heard the ol' Dungeon bat has a girlfriend," Lavender sat down beside the group, pausing a moment when she stared at Ron. She was just about ready to tell the blonde girl to piss off when she began speaking again, directly at Hermione this time. Lavender's blue eyes were shocking and frankly a bit disrupting as Hermione attempted to compose herself under the girl's stare. "Sorry about the rumours I spread about you, turns out he's seeing someone in the city," she apologised. However, the words only proved to make Hermione more upset and confused.

"The city?" Hermione asked, dumbfounded. "How do you know this?" She was beginning to feel quite transparent and forced herself not to blush. While Lavender had admitted her mistake, she would likely catch on to Hermione's interest and spin it to fit her narrative.

"I just overheard him talking to McGonagall and Dumbledore on the front steps. Apparently, he's going to be showing her 'round here tonight. Can't wait to see what kind of girl finds that greasy git attractive," she scoffed, making Hermione's stomach sink. Who could this girl actually be? She wasn't sure if she was angry or sad that there was another rumour surrounding him and it didn't include her which definitely didn't feel right. Forcing herself to appear ambivalent, Hermione rose from her seat on the Gryffindor bench.

"You know Lavender, you really ought to quit gossiping about other people," Hermione added with a superior glance down at the witch. Lavender scoffed at the comment, but Hermione noted all her friends sent equally disapproving glares at the blonde. Even Ron. She didn't stick around though, leaving the Great Hall while she attempted to keep her breathing steady when instead she was just about ready to burst into tears. There is no more blubbering, tearful Hermione, remember? She chided herself as she passed through the threshold and began her walk to the astronomy tower.

When she finally reached the top platform, she was partially out of breath, but mostly because she had been holding back her sobs. Sitting on the edge, she watched hordes of gold and red marching towards the Quidditch pitch and she knew she would be missed if she let another match go by without her presence. However, she took her solitude to open the map. Severus was walking into the great hall at that very moment. I just missed him, she sighed.

-x-

When she had finally finished being angry, she resolved herself to find out exactly who this chit was that Severus would be parading around the castle later. Screw Dumbledore and his nosiness, I'm visiting him whether he likes it or not, she resolved, storming down the stairs of the Astronomy tower. He had gone to the great hall and then went straight to his office, likely opting to eat in privacy. The guilt of her actions became fiercely present and her anger melted away to an uncomfortable sadness and anxiety. She rounded the corner to his office and knocked on the door, holding back the tears when he barked from inside. There is no more blubbering, tearful Hermione, she repeated before pushing open the door.

Once she entered the room, she took in his form. He was bent over some parchment and scribbling away his notes as if everything was normal. As if she hadn't nearly shared their secret, as if he hadn't spent the night away from the castle. As she silently regarded him, attempting to think about the words to say that would accurately describe everything that had happened, he glanced up at her.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" His unfeeling tone sent a jab of anger, jealousy, and guilt into her stomach and she was ready to sob again.

"I did something awful, Severus," she began, watching his face fall into a frown. Was it concern? Anger? Guilt? Does he know I know? She silenced her thoughts, sitting down in the chair across from him, afraid her legs would give out if she continued. "After you left, Draco and I- well... We snogged a bit, he challenged me, and I fell for it. Well, while we were snogging I may have... Well, I may have said your name," she explained, shutting her eyes and only daring to peek at him once. He looked as stoic as ever and she wasn't sure how to take it. "Severus? I-" She started, but he quickly interrupted her with an exasperated sigh.

"Oh, for God's sakes man," the professor grumbled as if she were an inconvenience, flicking his wrist and casting a charm she couldn't quite make out. "I believe someone might be listening to our conversation, so this had best be quick and to the point," he stated coolly.

"Well, Draco didn't take it so well at first, I was worried he would tell his father and ruin everything. I'm so sorry I messed up Severus," she gasped when he wordlessly entered her mind. It took her a moment to figure out what was happening, so she pushed forth the memories of the previous evening, neglecting to cover the part where she stayed up all night waiting for him to come back and her lunch conversation with Lavender.

"He seems to be fine. Is there anything else, Miss Granger?" He asked when he cancelled the spell and returned to his grading. Hermione wanted to pass out. She had barely slept, barely eaten, battling nausea all day just to have him treat her so coldly.

"No, I supposed not." Other than the girl you intend on showing about the castle later. I may have snogged Draco to help your mission, but you were out all night and come back with a supposed girlfriend? You have got to be kidding me! She berated him internally. Hermione knew he couldn't hear her, and she knew her face was likely reflecting her internalized rage, but he wasn't even looking at her. He was looking at those bloody papers. He could afford to feel nothing over her transgression, but he didn't even bother telling her about the girl? He was just sitting there, grading, while she was obviously distressed. "Who is she?" Hermione finally spat, using all that was left of her Gryffindor courage.

"Who?" He asked, flicking his quill and drawing a line across an entire paragraph.

"Never mind," Hermione rebuffed, sitting up from her chair and moving towards the exit. He slammed the door shut, locking it so she couldn't leave, so she spun to face him. She noted she was seething with rage, and how powerful all her emotions had become since she started sleeping with her professor. She hated it. She hated that he made all of her emotions spiral out of control. She was calm and level-headed and logical. She was not some emotional child who got jealous and cried all the time. Hermione worried, for a brief moment, if her emotional outbursts as of late were what made Severus find comfort in the arms of another. But who's to say he did? You don't know anything for certain, her logical side piped up. While she was grateful for the sanity, her more sensitive side was winning out.

"Who are you referring to, Miss Granger," he repeated. She knew that he thought someone was listening, but there was no one in the room and she doubted someone would be brazen enough to place an eavesdropping device in the potion master's office.

"Lavender told me you were bringing a witch to the castle tonight," she conceded, refusing to sit down in the chair and praying her legs would keep strong beneath her. He sighed. That was all, just a grand sigh as he put down his quill and sat up straighter to look at her. He wasn't worried, just annoyed. Anger began to bubble up again, but she managed to keep cool while clenching her jaw and her fists.

"Whatever that gossip has told you, is normally false. However, yes, I will be bringing a witch from London to Hogwarts this evening. Now in regard to your earlier comment. I do not care what you do with Draco, that is your own business, whatever delusion you are living under that believes that I would change my regard for you simply because you shared your feelings with me is wrong. You are nothing more than a student to me and it shall remain that way. If Draco suits your fancy, then go on, I do not care." He cares, she mused, and no matter what I did, it doesn't change a thing about how he feels about me. He's bringing a witch to the castle, not a girlfriend, just another woman. She read between the lines of his words. She hoped that she wasn't stretching them, that he was genuinely intending for her to understand what she did from that. They had no code, no way to communicate when they thought they were being watched, so it was the best he could do in that moment. Yes, it is all okay, she reasoned.

Hermione left with a nod, finding her way to the Quidditch pitch.

They are going to have a huge chat soon I promise, everything will be set on the table and cleared up! Communication is key!

A huge thank you to my reviewers who have left comments on the last few chapters: HGranger89, missbelab, EmissaryoftheProfets, HildeVonKrone, gabytahijar, VeelaGio, Saberfac, LFA, RhodaBush, Silver Orbed Lioness, Loveyoudown, GeekLoveFan, ndavis77, LoveInTheBattleField, Reckless072529, smithback, Fern23, IrishChick20, Lianore, emjrabbitwolf, Azeal-Ruthven, decadenceofmysoul, and guests!