I can't believe I've been writing/posting this for two months now! Thank you all for sticking around, and if you're new the to story, thanks for coming with me on this journey! Many more chapters to come.

Chapter 26. Initiatives

It's just stress, she told herself on her walk back to her dormitories. You're not pregnant, your nausea is caused by your balancing act between Severus and Draco and this whole mess. Hermione wasn't sure if it was reassuring or depressing. Part of her was genuinely convinced she had conceived a child with Severus from the moment he had suggested it and she was shocked when the spell came back negative. She had been too nervous to see what he was feeling, to check his expression for relief. They both agreed they would do more research on the topic and be more prepared for the next time if it ever came to be. It was a scare that would have ruined their chances of winning the war. She had to be able to fight, she couldn't be bearing a child in a time like this. Be thankful, she berated herself as she took the last step up to the Gryffindor tower.

"Always out and about this one," the Fat Lady remarked, making Hermione jump a bit. "You had a guest waiting for you for the past hour, they left though," the portrait continued, looking at her hand as though she were regarding a new manicure or a sparkly ring. Hermione huffed and rolled her eyes, certain her visitor had been Draco waiting to snog her again. After the evening she had, she didn't want to go anywhere near the blond for the next few days, even if Severus said she ought to keep up appearances.

"Who was it?" Hermione asked, picking at the fluff of her burgundy jumper in annoyance. The Fat Lady scoffed and sent Hermione a judgmental sneer before sitting up straighter and returning to her vain tendencies.

"Some Gryffindor boy I've seen coming and going for years now, don't know his name. I think you follow him about the castle some nights, rounds or what not." Gryffindor boy? What on earth... Rounds... Shit! Dean! Rounds! How could I forget I have rounds tonight? She berated herself mentally, huffing and stepping just a bit closer to the portrait. Her frustration with herself was building, but she still had time to find her rounds mate and come up with an awful excuse as to her tardiness.

"Did you see where he went?" Hermione begged, but she knew the portrait would know just as much as she did. She considered the time and how long he would have waited for her before starting the rounds by himself and decided he couldn't have gotten far. The young witch didn't bother to stick around and find out what the Fat Lady would concoct as an answer. Instead, Hermione turned on her heel and rushed back down the stairs and off to where they normally started their rounds: the dungeons.

"Dean!" She called, as his sauntering form came into sight. "Oh, thank Merlin I caught you, I must have fallen asleep-"

"Don't bother, I had Ginny check for you. You weren't in your bed-"

"But I was-"

"You weren't in the library either. First place I looked."

"Dean I-"

"Save it. Let's just get these rounds over with and get back to the tower." Hermione was taken aback by his short temper and brash mood but decided to keep quiet instead of harassing him to tell her more. Counting it a blessing that she didn't have to come up with a lie and stick to it, she chewed her lip. She folded her hands behind her back and walked with him through the halls, looking for any students hiding in the dimly lit corridors.

"Miss Granger, Mister Thomas, how are your rounds this evening?" Professor McGonagall's voice made the pair turn around as she approached them.

"Just fine ma'am," Dean answered before Hermione could. The older witch smiled sweetly at the boy before turning her attention to Hermione. The brunette suddenly felt exceptionally exposed as her Head of House offered her a knowing look.

"May I steal Miss Granger away for a moment?" Dean let out a disgusted groan before shrugging.

"Sure, why not?" He snapped sarcastically, before turning around and heading back down the hall the way they were headed. Hermione watched him disappear into the shadows before she faced her Professor with a perplexed look they both seemed to be sharing.

"In a bit of a foul mood, that one inn'he?" McGonagall started, glancing over Hermione's shoulder down the hall her partner had just left. "No matter, I have some things I would like to discuss with you, is that alright?"

"I suppose so," Hermione offered sheepishly. She began to wonder if perhaps the Deputy Headmistress had seen something between her and Severus. Or Draco for that matter. Her keen ability to ruin Severus' missions and share secrets was beginning to add to her layers of anxiety, in addition to her general worries over classes and tests and such. Any more and it would be far too much for the girl to handle.

"Come along," McGonagall commanded softly, motioning for the younger witch to follow her. They snaked their way back up to the Gryffindor tour then down the hall a bit to the professor's office. She let Hermione in, then shut the door behind them and cast a few spells the brunette presumed were likely silencing or protective charms. Whatever they were to be talking about was going to be a secret and she knew it. "I would like to first mention that Severus did not mean to betray your trust in any way by telling me this, but-" Hermione's stomach sank at the mention of the potions master, her nausea returning strongly. "I know that you two are in some form of a relationship, and I know that you two spent Valentine's Day together." Oh, gods, he told her I was worried about pregnancy. Oh, gods, she knows I've had sex with my professor. Oh, gods. "You're looking a bit squeamish, Miss Granger, are you quite all right?"

"No," Hermione managed groggily. Her head felt heavy and the room was spinning. She swallowed hard, her skin becoming clammy, before letting her head rest on the desk in front of her. The coldness of the wood helped some, and the fact she was more grounded made the room stop spinning. A metal bucket appeared beneath her by McGonagall's hand and she focused her breathing.

"I didn't mean to upset you, dear. This is exactly what I wanted to talk about, you seem to be awful green lately, and I'm sure it's not because of your Slytherin attractions," the older witch teased as Hermione found the strength to sit upright once more. "I know that Severus has been a perfect gentleman, but is there a reason you haven't been to the infirmary for your apparent illness?"

"I'm not ill, just stressed," Hermione justified, rubbing her face with her hands. "I have a lot going on, it's my N.E.W.T year, and Harry is going through some things with Dumbledore, You-Know-Who is back, and on top of all that I am continuing a relationship with a professor while I am still his student and hiding it from absolutely everyone," she blurted, feeling a weight lift from her chest as she did. "I just- My body doesn't seem to be able to tolerate the internalized emotions I have when I have absolutely no one to share it with." Hermione exhaled and wanted to rest her head on the desk again but managed to stay upright and watch as the older witch digested her confession.

"Well, my dear, you can share it with me and you can certainly share it with Severus. I understand how relationships work, I too was in a rather inappropriate engagement in my youth." Hermione's shock must have been obvious on her face because the older witch offered her a playful grin and nodded. "Oh yes, long before I married my dear late husband Elphinstone. I was in seventh year, mind you, and he was the new Transfigurations professor, a good friend of the Headmaster's. Pyus Plauwythar. He was about twenty years my senior. I got to talking to him about my desire to enter into the mastery of the topic, and well... Tutoring sessions turned into a bit more than that and soon after I graduated, he proposed. We were together the full length of my last year at Hogwarts and until I was 20. Unfortunately, he ended up passing away from a potion experiment gone wrong," her professor lamented. Hermione wanted to believe that if they had been given the chance, they would have been happy together. The thought gave the young witch a bit of hope that her own affections would last.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Professor. Both your husband and for Professor Plauwythar," Hermione consoled, unsure of whether to reach out and comfort her professor who had been staring off into the distance beside her as she recounted her love story. The older witch flipped back to face her student and gave a comforting smile.

"No matter, I wouldn't have very well wanted to take either of their last names, McGonagall suits me well," she nodded with a forced grin. "Now, that story had a purpose, my dear. Should you need anything, please don't hesitate to let me know. I may not believe it is the healthiest of relationships for either of you to pursue, but you're both incredibly bright individuals, and I know you will do what is best," the other witch offered, taking Hermione's hands into her own.

"Thank you, Professor, that truly means a lot," Hermione acknowledged, feeling physically and emotionally better than she had in weeks. It was one thing to share with Severus, but to have someone else to talk to was unbelievably comforting. Something inside of her had broken when she entered into a place where she could no longer reveal her secrets with her best friends, and it had begun to feel claustrophobic and sickening.

"Of course, my dear, everyone needs a listening ear now and again," her professor said, watching Hermione with an air of pride. It made her feel even better, to know that the one adult who had helped Hermione the most through her years at Hogwarts was still proud to have her as a student, even knowing her secrets. She doubted her friends would react the same, and she was genuinely not looking forward to admitting it to them.

"I better go find Dean," Hermione said, motioning to the door behind her. McGonagall stood and straightened out her robes.

"Yes, yes of course. Find me whenever you need, Miss Granger." Hermione waved and said her repeated thanks as she left her Head of House's office, before running back down to the dungeons to find her rounds mate.

-x-

Sunday morning, Hermione decided she needed to do some research before she progressed any further with Severus. She had been laden with nightmares and dreams of motherhood that whole night and she knew the best thing to calm her mind on the topic would be to research it to death. So, sitting in the library, she had found at least ten books on the female reproductive system, sexual education, and magical pregnancy in order to begin studying. Her mother had explained some things when she was a kid, but frankly, she had been a little too uncomfortable to truly absorb it. Her muggle school had also offered a few days where they went over some basics of protection, but they mostly preached abstinence and explained to females about their monthly cycles. It had not been helpful, but being as she had planned on waiting, or at least knowing a few weeks in advance, she had put off that particular notion of study. Obviously, that was the wrong idea, she mused, flipping the page. She found a chapter on pregnancy and buried herself in it.

After reading a certain passage, she swallowed hard and her stomach dropped. "Oh no," she whispered, closing the book and shrinking it to fit in her pocket before rushing out of the library. Once in the tower, she found Crookshanks and carried him up to her room. "You are going to help me get a message to Severus, understood?" She explained, plopping him on the bed and summoning a small bit of parchment. We did the test too soon, we have to wait at a week or two for it to be accurate. Hermione slammed her quill down and rolled up the parchment, securing it to her feline's collar who then took a moment to beg for scratches. The witch obliged, then nudged her familiar. "Go find him, quickly, please." She whispered as her orange cat jumped from the bed and scurried out of the room.

She didn't want to speak with Severus in person and she was glad to have her cat as a run between. Her embarrassment had only grown since discovering that they were both completely ignorant about sex. I'm supposed to be the brightest witch of my age and I don't know basic human anatomy? She grumbled, mentally cursing Hogwarts for not enacting a sexual education curriculum. That can be my next project, she determined, her mind briefly flashing to her continually failing S.P.E.W initiative.

Hermione resized her book and reread the passage:

Pregnancy hormones, especially in magical pregnancies, don't show up in magical tests until at least a few days before the witch's monthly cycle begins. To have an accurate test, it is best to wait roughly one to two weeks after the witch has missed their period before taking any tests. However, said tests can be accurate as soon as a few days before their monthly cycle begins depending on the parents' level of magic. Two purebloods, for instance, should be able to find out far sooner than muggleborn couples, who would have to wait the longest.

She groaned. I'll have to wait even longer? Frustrated with the fact she was so clueless about magical sexual education, she kept reading.

Symptoms, such as bloating, nausea, and mood swings, can begin as early as conception in witches due to the power of a magical fetus. The sooner symptoms begin, the more likely it is the child will be magical and healthy.

Her heart sank, and she swallowed hard, rereading the passage and feeling tears prick at her eyes. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I take something? Why did I wait so long to look into any of this? Her mind spun as she assessed her symptoms over the past week and felt the nausea spin the room a bit. Steadying herself, she shrunk the book again and slowly made her way back to the library.

Just as Hermione rounded the corner, Crookshanks appeared at her feet and nearly tripped her as he nuzzles her shins. She bent over to scratch his ears and kiss his forehead, reaching for his collar and taking off the piece of parchment that was attached.

I read that too. Reattempt in a week? She read over his scrawl a couple of times, before crumpling up the note and shoving it into her back pocket before walking back into the library. Her half-Kneazle followed her, trotting along happily beside her feet as she came back to the section she had piled all her books. Gathering them up, she put them away as stealthily as she good. Just as she reached the last row to put away the copy of What to Expect When You're a Witch Expecting, Crookshanks hissed and she felt a tap on her shoulder and her heart leapt into her throat. She nearly jumped as she spun around, feeling as though she had been caught breaking school rules.

"Good morning, Granger," Draco said cheerily, smirking at her playfully. "What you got there? Something for the Arithmancy essay?" He inquired, looking at the book she held tightly in her arms. Embarrassment flooded over her and she wrapped her other arm around it to conceal as much information about it as possible, but he caught her defensive movement. "Let me see that," he said, reaching for the book but she gasped and turned her whole body away. "Granger! What are you reading?" The blond teased.

"Nothing!" She protested, reaching for her wand to shrink the book enough she could hide it on her person or at least charm the cover to display something else. But as she grasped her wand in her pocket, he took the opportunity and snuck his hand around her and yanked it from her weakened grasp. "Draco!" She hissed, turning around and grabbing at it to get it back from him, or at least distract him enough that he wouldn't read it.

"What to Expect When You're a Witch Expecting," he read aloud, skillfully stepping back from her and avoiding each of her attempts at grabbing the book. "Granger," he stopped when he had time to consider what he had just read. "Should I know something?" He asked quietly, seriously, and she stopped reaching for it.

"No, it-" she started but he quickly interrupted her. Crookshanks hissed again, and pushed himself against her leg, making Draco frown.

"You're not pregnant, are you?" He asked wearily as if he were worried any hypothetical pregnancy were his. Shock mixed with concentration twisted his expression as he likely thought back to their previous snog sessions. This is why we need sexual education, she groaned internally.

"I'm starting an initiative," she stated simply, looking down and pulling at the sleeves of her grey jumper. Hermione returned her focus to him once he'd remained silent for a while, and when she did, he finally spoke.

"An initiative?" He echoed, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

"Yes, the sexual education at Hogwarts is sorely lacking and I feel it would benefit all students to receive some in their second or third year," she stated confidently. It was the truth, she did believe she would start this program before she left Hogwarts, but that wasn't the reason she'd had the book.

"Sex ed class?" He laughed, his smirk returning as he looked at the book. "And you're going to teach it, are you?"

"Well someone has to!" She argued, placing her hands on her hips awkwardly, then folding them in front of her chest. "Either way, I thought I ought to learn a thing or two. That was just one of the many books I was studying. Just a side project, no need to worry," she stammered, tucking her hair behind her ear and avoiding his gaze.

"Then I won't," he said, placing the book down on the ground and strolling up to her. "Let's put that newly acquired knowledge to good use then? hm?" He asked, attempting to seduce her but it only made her nauseous.

"Harry and Ron are expecting me for lunch, I have to go," she stepped back from him and started talking backwards towards the exit. "Another time though, I promise! See you in Arithmancy tomorrow?" She said, offering him a smile which he did not return. The last she saw of him was Draco standing there, rejected, and almost pouting, before she darted off down the hall. "I hope the boys are at lunch," she grumbled, slowing her pace and walking towards the Great Hall casually.

When she reached it, she was grateful to see Harry, Ron, and Ginny were seated on the Gryffindor bench and she happily took up the place next to Ron. "Good afternoon Ronald, Harry, Gin," she greeted, helping herself to a sandwich and some chips.

"Hey 'mione, you can be our tie breaker-" Ron started, but he was quickly silenced by Harry.

"Ron, there isn't a tie. Ginny and I agree that Slytherin won fair and square. I missed the snitch and Draco caught it. No one was hexing anybody," Harry argued, attempting to shut his friend's crusade down.

"I was asking Hermione!" Ron shouted, his mouth full of food. Hermione winced, and so did Ginny, the two girls exchanging looks of disgust before Ron continued. "I think that Snape was cursing 'arry's broom again, or something so he could get a win. He was staring awful hard at Draco the whole time, and I blocked every shot thrown at me so we shoulda won. Something distracted Harry, that's why we lost." Ron had thankfully swallowed before his recount of the Quidditch match the day before, but Hermione knew exactly what it was that had distracted Harry, and it wasn't Snape.

"Sorry Ron, I'm gonna have to go with Harry and Gin on this one," Hermione offered sympathetically with a short shrug.

"Bloody hell, are all my friends against me?" He asked, groaning and started at another mouthful of food. She remembered back to the game and how Ginny had been cheering on Harry from the stands. She had injured her arm the night before at practice and decided to take a game off to let it heal. He had been looking at his girlfriend just when a gust of wind blew her skirt up and she accidentally flashed her knickers at anyone who had been looking at the time. Thankfully, Ginevra Weasley was not one to embarrass easily and simply sat back down and laughed, sending her boyfriend a quick wink before he shook himself out of the trance. Why she had been wearing a skirt to a Quidditch match in the middle of bloody February, I will never understand, Hermione mused.

"Anyway, I wanted your help with something, all of you," Hermione started, mentally preparing her speech. "I have found that the sexual education at Hogwarts is entirely lacking, which is absolutely preposterous given the high levels of sex occurring within its walls. So, I'm starting an initiative-"

"Another initiative?" Ron groaned.

"I'm liking the sound of this," Ginny smirked, sending a sly glance at Harry sitting beside her who fidgeted uncomfortably.

"I'm planning on starting a club or something, that goes around to second and third-year students and offers the education they are lacking. I think that if the information came from older students, it would be a little less awkward than coming from say their Head of House," Hermione explained.

"Blimey, could you imagine Snape teaching us how to put on a condom?" Ron griped. If he even knows how to, Hermione teased, thinking back to the origins of her project.

"Exactly, so I'm thinking we get someone in our year from each house of each gender and bring them to the group to educate them before setting them off to educate the younger ones. What do you think?" She asked, eyeing up her friends.

"I think that's a brilliant idea, Hermione! I'll happily continue once you've graduated," Ginny offered enthusiastically. Hermione noted the ginger's hand wrapped around Harry's and squeezing tightly.

"Yeah, I can be the male Gryffindor from our year, if you'd like," Harry offered begrudgingly.

"I can't believe you're actually going this, 'mione," Ron lamented.

"You were never one to believe in my initiatives, Ronald," the brunette spat back coldly.