Chapter Eleven : Reason
"Was it ever good that I was born?"
Ace glared at the man, waiting for an answer.
Roger stared at him with wide black eyes. He was stilled, frozen on his spot. He was unable to answer him right away.
Desperation crawled in Ace's body. It slowly drained everything in him. Every time the demon inside him wants to get away, he just lets him. There were voices inside, feeding him with anger enough to keep him going. Hurting people was something he was used to but only if they deserved it. He was angry at everyone for judging him just because he was related to the man in front of him.
He wanted an answer. An answer to keep him living. An answer to know the truth. Even if the truth hurts him, he will still gladly accept it.
Because if Ace did not find an answer now, he will lose it.
The frustration builds and he felt like exploding. He wanted to shout, have a tantrum, and beat his hands on the ground. He wanted to vent, let it out, but he cannot. It was just so easy to be cruel at that moment.
"You know that I can't answer that..." That was his answer.
And Ace lose it.
Rage blinded everything. His mind just kept on thinking that he should hurt the man. The anger inside him was like fire. Burning deep within, being fueled by desperation. It only grew stronger and stronger as seconds turned into minutes.
He lunged forward and started hitting the man. Every punches and kick he threw was something he kept for years. It was only then that Ace felt some kind of comfort. His father just welcomed every attack, not moving at all. It made Ace frustrated even further. A man should always fight back whenever someone's attacking him.
"What do you mean you don't know!? You're the reason why I'm here! You've had travel the world, right!? You know things and experience everything!" Ace choked back.
"It's something you have to decide for yourself, Ace."
Ace gritted his teeth. It was the exact same words he heard from his adoptive grandfather. "I don't take that as an answer!"
"I'm your father. I know that—"
With that simple statement, Ace halted momentarily. Laughter erupted from his mouth. It was not humorous, it sounded like a wailing as it slowly died down. He just cannot help it. The man in front of him was an idiot.
"My father, huh?" Ace echoed, spatting in disgust. He stared at Roger with dead eyes.
Roger remained silent.
"Where were you when my mother died giving birth to me!? Where were you when people kept saying that I shouldn't be born!? Where were you when I first doubted my existence!? I'm asking you, where were you!?"
There was a certain level of tiredness that equates to madness and for Ace, he already reached the highest of it. He felt like his body was slowly shutting down.
His punches slowly turn into small hittings. He whimpered, not wanting to cry. But still, his emotions took over and tears poured out. It was in his gray eyes that you can see his soul being burned alive. The walls that kept him just came crashing down. Perhaps, those tears can help him feel better but no. The only thing he felt was pain.
For Ace, crying was for the weak. He remembered himself in the past when he first learned about his real identity. He remembered how painful it was to cry because of the words people told him. He remembered how weak he was not being able to do anything about his heritage and just sobbing in the corner. His body started giving up. As the wind blew, and so was his body falling.
But he did not hit the ground, Roger immediately scooped him and pulled him into his chest. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, gently rubbing his back. Despite the heaviness in Ace's stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of his body pressed against his.
"I'm sorry, Ace..." Roger said, quivering. "I'm sorry you have to suffer because of me..."
Ace felt wetness in his shoulders. He tried kicking his father just to get away from his grasp but he could not. The man was holding him too tightly.
Roger was weeping.
"N-No!" Ace complained with a broken voice. "Don't apologize! Just don't..."
All his life, he blamed Roger for everything. Because blaming was such an easy thing to do. The man got himself executed, leaving him and his mother behind. And then his mother died and Ace was left all alone. And it was not the worst of it yet. People kept saying mean things about his father that also reflected on him.
It never once came into his mind that he will meet the man, the demon himself. And yet he was here now. Hugging him and apologizing. He thought that once he met Roger, his father would also return the same hatred he felt.
"You deserve to live. You're my greatest treasure, for your mother and I..."
The way Roger had said those words, he felt warmth wash over in his body. But it was a strange feeling for him almost foreign. It scared him at first since the coldness in his heart was slowly leaving.
It was something he was searching for all his life. He just wanted to hear those words for a long time. And now he finally heard it. That was when the emotions inside him became a hurricane. He was unable to stop it. It was a roller coaster ride as he felt everything at once.
"Ace!"
He tried looking up but his body would not allow it. His vision was blurry because of the tears that were still in his eyes. But of course, Ace knew whose voice was it. It was something he would never forget.
The last thing Ace remembered, was his two brothers running towards him.
- - -
"Sabo!" Luffy yelled frantically. "What's wrong with Ace? Why is he asleep!?"
"He's unconscious, Lu." Sabo answered quickly. "Roger-san, can you lay him down in the grass for a sec."
Roger, who was holding Ace in his arms, nodded. He carefully laid Ace down. Sabo watched Ace whose breathing was heavy. He quickly gasp everytime he inhaled. He could not stop shaking either. He was turning side to side.
Sabo put a hand on his brother's forehead confirming his diagnosis. Ace was having a fever. He was burning up. His freckles stood up as his cheeks turned beet red. His lips were puffed out and the skin on them shows the first signs of dehydration.
"Ace is sick." Sabo announced with a heavy voice.
"Sick? Don't tell me that he's dying!" Roger shrieked, looking back and forth to Ace and Sabo.
"Dying!? I don't want Ace to die! Sabo, don't let Ace die!" Luffy also screamed. He put both of his hands in his head in panic.
"No! No!" Sabo waved his hand, trying to calm down the two. "He's fine. Ace just need to take some rest."
"Are you sure?" Luffy frowned.
"Yes, Lu. Ace's strong, right? A fever is nothing to him." Sabo reassured with a small smile. "Roger-san, carry him on our way."
Roger nodded again and immediately picked Ace and put him on his back. They walked faster than normal. In just three minutes, they were back at the treehouse. Luffy immediately laid down a mattress and pillows for Ace to stay. Sabo got a pail of water and a handkerchief to put in his brother's burning forehead.
"Roger-san, can you get some food? I'm going to town and steal medicine." Sabo ordered while he helped Ace put on a new shirt.
"Alright." Roger agreed. "Stay here, Luffy. Watch over your brother."
Luffy declared with a salute. "Yeah, I'll make sure no intruders going in here!"
"That's my brother." Sabo praised, patting his head again. "Don't let Ace be alone."
And with that, Sabo and Roger left the treehouse doing their tasks.
- - -
Luffy cannot just watch Ace like this. He stared at Ace with wide eyes. His brother looked so pale. He was squirming in his bed. It looked like he was having a nightmare. His face was turning every time. And so to reassure him, Luffy held Ace's hands. And as fast as that, Ace calmed down and returned back to his slumber looking so peaceful.
Luffy kept remembering Ace's face earlier. His older brother was crying in Roger's arms. He never saw Ace cried like that and it made him real worried. Ace has always been strong and never showed that kind of emotion. Because Luffy knew that Ace considered crying for the weak. So that was why he could not understand what was his reason.
Suddenly, he heard Ace groaned. He turned his head sideways and faced Luffy. His gray eyes fluttered open as he stared at Luffy.
"Ace!" Luffy exclaimed happily. "Do you want water? Or maybe meat! But too bad we're still waiting for—"
"Luffy..."
"—Roger to get some meat for us. And then we can eat so you'll finally be bet—"
"Luffy!"
Luffy heard the urgency in Ace's voice so he shut his mouth. Ace bit down his lips. He was unable to look at Luffy and just staring at the window where the sun was slowly setting.
"What is it, Ace?" Luffy cooed.
Ace breathed out. "We're not supposed to hide secrets from each other..."
"Yeah. Sabo said that." Luffy confirmed, smiling.
"That's why I'm gonna tell you a secret now." Ace said, finally staring at him. "I don't want to repeat it so hear me out, okay?"
"Nn." Luffy nodded.
Luffy patiently waited for Ace to speak. His brother was clearly having a hard time for whatever he was gonna tell. But whatever it was, Luffy will be sensitive about it. He was sure that Ace hid a secret from him for a reason.
"My father is the Pirate King."
Luffy blinked. Understanding bloomed over the boy's face.
"Is that the reason why you've beat those guys at the bar? 'Cause they say bad things about him?" Luffy questioned.
Ace nodded weakly. "Yes. Did Sabo told you already?"
"No. But he said something about your father."
"Everyone seemed to hate him that's why..." Ace clenched his fists. "They hate me, too."
"Silly, Ace." Luffy actually laughed. "You're the one to decide for yourself. Shanks told me that back then when people started calling me a freak."
"They called you what?" Ace irked, gritting his teeth.
"A freak. The villagers thought that I'm a monster 'cause of my Devil Fruit powers. But then Shanks said that it was up to me to decide whether I'm good or bad!"
Ace gulped, looking away. "But everyone is always telling me that..."
"Who cares 'bout them? You're Ace! Me and Sabo's brother!" Luffy grinned, widely. "That's all that matters."
Luffy saw tears in Ace's eyes again. But Luffy did not ask him about it. Because sometimes, people need to let it all out. Ace actually hugged him at that moment. It was too tight for Luffy but he did not mind. As long as it would help Ace, he will gladly do anything for him.
Luffy watched as his brother's whimpers slowly died down. His brother was back sleeping again.
- - -
"Luffy?" Sabo called. He managed to get medicines from town. The sun already had set so the stores had been close. But Sabo knew how to picklock. He had gotten inside without any problems.
"Ah, Sabo! You're back!" Luffy greeted him with a smile.
"Shh, quiet. We don't want Ace to wake up." Sabo put a finger in his lips.
"But he already woke up earlier." Luffy replied.
"He did?"
"Yeah. He told me that his father is the Pirate King and that people don't like him. But don't worry! I assured him that we still like him because he's our brother!"
Sabo blinked several times, allowing himself to digest what Luffy had said. Sabo was not sure whether Ace did it on his free will or he was being delirious because of his fever. But then, it was bound to happen. They just cannot hide things from Luffy. He was still their younger brother and he clearly deserved the truth. Sabo was still glad that Luffy was quick to understand. He just hoped that Luffy was enough to comfort Ace in his dark times. Luffy was like the sun. He shined so brightly to the point that it can manage to erase the darkness in anyone's heart.
Sabo sat down next to Ace. He got the cloth out of his forehead, dip it in water, and put it back again. Sabo cannot give him medicine if he was passed out cold. They had to wait after Ace had eaten.
"Can I ask Ace about the Pirate King?" Luffy asked, fidgeting in his seat.
"What do you mean? Why don't you ask Roger himself?" Sabo asked back while adjusting Ace's blanket.
"Why should I ask Roger about it?" Luffy questioned in confusion.
Sabo turned to Luffy abruptly. His mouth went ajar. They knew Roger for a few days now and yet he could not understand how Luffy did not figure it out.
"You mean... You still don't know?" Sabo mouthed, gasping.
"Know what?"
Sabo took hold on both of Luffy's shoulders and stared at him straight in the eye. He sighed heavily. He wondered how can Luffy be so dense sometimes.
"Luffy, the Roger which is our friend, and Gold Roger which is the Pirate King is the same person." Sabo explained.
Luffy just blinked.
"He is Ace's father." Sabo finished.
Sabo braced for it. Luffy remained silent as his brain tried to process everything his brother had said to him. After a minute, it fully occurred to him.
"WHAT!?"
Luffy shouted, making his shrieking voice heard in the whole forest.
- - -
A/N: I always love angsty and hurt/comfort fics. Why? To make me more dead inside.Thank you for the follows, favorites, and reviews. See you next update!