The first night Kaim came home from his latest war he seemed okay. Maybe it was exhaustion from the long time away, or maybe it was that he was finally safe by Sarah's side, but he slept calmly and for so very long. It was almost noon by the time he finally rolled out of bed. Sarah was down in the kitchen making a very late breakfast when she felt his warm and heavy arms wrap around her. She leaned her cheek against his, but recoiled almost instantly.
"Bath," Sarah said, scooting her husband towards the bathroom. She wrinkled her nose at him. "You smell like sweat."
He laughed at that and playfully took her hand. "Only if you come with me."
Sarah blushed, but couldn't deny him this simple request. Not when she hadn't seen him in almost a decade.
.
The second night was even better. He was still very tired, but spent the rest of the afternoon working around the house. Here he lay, sleeping evenly beside her; as quiet and relaxed as a child, but Sarah knew it was going to happen soon. It always did.
.
The third night he woke up with a leap. Sarah wasn't even asleep yet and was surprised by the sudden jerk. "Kaim?"
"It'snothing." His expression told a different truth. Dark and a little bit confused, he looked to be trying to blink his dream away. Almost as if he wasn't quite in Tosca, in their bed, but out in the war again. She wasn't even sure if he was fully awake. Something about his slurred speech and half lidded eyes told her he probably wouldn't remember even waking up come tomorrow. Sarah decided not to ask him.
Instead she tucked his hair behind his ear, smoothing it out across his neck and ran her nails gently through his scalp. Running her fingers through his hair put him into a trance, and Sarah watched as he slowly drifted back to sleep. She didn't stop until he rolled his face into his pillow.
.
As the week took over, Sarah noticed the bags starting to grow under his eyes. As the mornings came each day, she noticed the empty cold place where Kaim usually lay. She frowned and laid a hand on the spot her husband occupied.
When she would get up, Kaim was usually already up and busy doing something. It was nearing winter—Sarah was expecting snow any time now—and they would need wood for the fireplace, or something in their home would need patched, or they would need some fresh food from Tosca. He kept to himself mostly, and Sarah was left to wonder when he would finally crack.
. . .
The week had past and then another, when Sarah found herself in a new predicament.
These shackles are starting to sting! she thought to herself. The constant rubbing against her wrists were making her skin raw, and she didn't know how long it was going to be until they were taken off. On top of everything it was getting so very cold, and that didn't help the metal that clasped around her, making her shiver.
She looked out of the little slit between the boards, hoping to catch a sign of where she could possibly be going. Instead all she saw was the first snowfall. With a sad sigh she thought, Kaim always likes to watch the first snowfall together. And we haven't done that in eight years!
The covered wagon she was on came to a wobbling stop. Before she could wonder where she was, the doors were thrown open. There stood the man who captured her a week before. "Get up."
. . .
The walk to and from Tosca were very uninteresting, but Kaim helped out around the small mountain village as per Sarah's request to get him away from his mind. He had run out of things to do around the house, and she had helpfully requested he go check with the village folk for any before snowfall repairs. He knew Sarah was getting antsy. He hadn't spoken to her about the terrible business he was just in, and he couldn't quite bring himself to even think about it yet. It was already plaguing his sleep and any moment he wasn't thinking or doing something productive; and to bring it out into the open—to talk to someone about it—he was just afraid it was going to hinder more than help.
He walked through the gate towards the home he shared with his wife, and a sudden chill went down his spine. The lights were off, despite the growing darkness of the short winter day, and their front door was ajar.
Kaim wished he had his sword by his side, already disgusted he would have to rely on it only a few weeks back home. Tosca was far up into the mountains and he didn't think very many people would want to attack it or its residents. He carefully moved towards the mansion, eyes narrowed and body alert. He gently pushed the door and waited a moment. The atrium was empty, but things were tossed around. His heart picked up in pace as his eyes scanned the room.
Sarah was usually, at this time of day, in their upstairs study. He closed the door behind him, carefully locking it, and made his way up the stairs as silent as he could be. Their bedroom door was open and the light on, but she wasn't in there.
He continued onto the one study he shared with Sarah. It was a disaster. Papers knocked over and chairs overturned. The frightening thing was Sarah's staff lay broken in half in the middle of everything. Kaim didn't feel nausea often, but this was one of a few moments where his stomach flopped and sweat beaded on his forehead. He knew immediately after seeing the broken weapon that Sarah wasn't in their home, but his already tired body didn't stop him from yelling her name throughout the empty mansion. He searched every room, every study, and every bedroom and there was no a sign of his wife.
His mind couldn't settle down as he collapsed into a chair after his second run through their home. He couldn't help the visions of Sarah being caught by surprise. Sarah being confronted, being grabbed, being hurt, being scared by whoever did this. Kaim drew in a breath and felt like he was unable to let it go.
Instead, the anger that rolled in was uncontrollable. A haze of fury that burned from the inside out. Kaim slammed a fist into the stone wall beside him, not caring about the broken skin and blood that would be dripping from his knuckles. How dare anyone lay a hand on Sarah? She was good and pure. She never harmed anyone who wasn't already doing harm themselves. Kaim's body tensed. Insurmountable rage constricted his chest and all thoughts turned blood red. He could feel himself curling then releasing his hands. The sting from the hand injury apparent on his left. He let go of the breath he was holding and screwed his eyes shut. Calm down, calm down, calm down.
It took him pinching the bridge of his nose and breathing deeply to think about this situation. He knew Sarah could take care of herself—he knew that because she had proven that to him many times in their centuries of knowing each other—but she was without a weapon. Kaim tried to remember any time she was able to produce magic without a staff and he was pulling up blank. He was sure there were some things she would be able to do, but black magic was still something she was working on perfecting. Could she find herself out of a situation with only her healing and barriers? Could she do anything at all without a weapon?
He remembered her saying that it took time to adjust to a new weapon. That switching between swords was easy and necessary for a warrior to do, but with magic she had to know the staff she carried. Magic users needed to understand the material and form of their weapon before they could produce magic the way they had before they switched staffs. Because of this, it could take a few days or a few months, depending on the difference of materials used, to create the staff.
Kaim held his head as he remembered the conversations they had. Sarah has had this staff for as long as he could remember, and to see it broken on the floor caused his anxiety to creep up once again. Worry and fear edged into his rage, and his mind was drifting to thoughts of Sarah being helpless against an unknown enemy. She's immortal, he said to himself, eyes finally opening. That thought was like a light, and most of his anxiety vanished. She's immortal, and can't die. She's immortal, and can't die. He chanted this mantra until he could finally stand on his feet again.
He needed to act quickly. The people of Tosca would have known if anyone went through the little town with her, he just needed to know which way to go.
Kaim ran back up to their room taking two steps at a time.
. . .
Sarah fell onto her knees. After spending a week traveling on a wagon, it had been a grueling three days of travel on foot. Some of the group rode horses through the canyon, much to Sarah's dismay at the rough treatment of the poor beasts, but they made her walk every moment of it. The group had stopped on the opposite side of the Ice Canyon, and she could only guess that they were on their way to the grand city of Gohtza.
In the almost week and a half she had been with these men she learned that they were out for revenge. Revenge against the warrior who slaughtered the bandits and foiled their plans that had been decades in the making. Sarah knew they were talking about Kaim, but all she knew from him was that Kaim was on a mission from the Gohtzan King to take out some evil men before they overran His country. She put two and two together and sighed at the pickle she found herself in.
She also learned that this was not an official order from their bandit leader, that their boss didn't even know what they were doing. These men spent the better part of their time since the fall of their army tracking Kaim to kill him. When they couldn't find a chance to strike, they saw Sarah as an opportunity. They had caught her by surprise, broken her weapon, and lead her off into the mountains. She was hoping that she'd see Kaim when they took her through Tosca, but they made her wear her hooded cloak drawn up, and threatened her not to make eye contact with anyone. They informed her that they were bringing her back to their boss as a gift, and she could only shudder at what that truly meant.
Meanwhile, during this long and cold week, Sarah had kept her head low and in search of anything she might be able to use as a weapon. Halfway through the canyon she found a perfect stick. Something that wasn't too heavy, but also was pretty flexible, and very long. Luckily her last staff of the past two centuries had been from wood, albeit a charmed wood to make it last so long, but the material was still the basic same. Unluckily, as she stooped over to grab it, her glasses slid off her nose and into the snow. When she tried to pick them back up she was pushed forward, falling knees first into the snow, effectively burying her glasses enough to where she could not see them. She tried her hardest to make it look like she had twisted her ankle in the fall, and needed the extra support from the stick she had picked up. So far the men were buying it, and didn't say too much to her about her new walking stick. She squinted behind her, sighing at her lost vision—that was my favorite pair of glasses too!—and leaned heavily onto the sturdy weapon beside her.
Sarah did find that the more days she was out in this weather without the most proper clothing, and the less they gave to her to eat, that she was starting to feel the weariness of travel and starvation. Her stomach seemed to be constantly growling and her gloveless fingers were turning odd colors. When the men slept, she would quietly concentrate all the healing magic she could into the walking stick and manage to keep the frostbite at bay, but it was getting harder and harder to concentrate and her new staff was taking a little bit of time to get used to. If she couldn't find a way out of this soon, she could die out here.
And that made her laugh bitterly. One man looked her way and she hid it in a cough. "At least we're almost there. I don't know how much longer she's gonna make it out here."
"Let's do it, boys. We don't want this hostage dying here on us!"
Sarah limped her way between the talking men, pulling her hood down closer to her face. There was a clearing further up, and even with the darkening skies she could tell there was some sort signs of life going on in there. Smoke wisped its way into the skies, and there were lights on in the distance.
Within a half hour the group had stopped in front of a cabin. Some men tied the poor horses to a pole outside of the door, and the others stamped their feet against the ground freeing their boots of snow. Sarah watched as the leader of this expedition knocked on the door in a rhythm. The door slowly swung open and there stood a man. He looked at the group up and down before waving them entrance.
Sarah could almost appreciate the warmth of this little cabin if it wasn't for the stench of the unwashed men in the room and the fact that in the middle of the cabin stood a fearsome looking figure. She couldn't see it until he stepped a little closer, but he had one scar that went from his left ear all the way across his lips to his opposite shoulder. It looked to be still healing as his skin was a blotchy red all around it. His nose was crooked, like it had been broken one too many times, and one eye was swollen shut. He wore a long black fur coat, despite the warmth of the room, and gave her a toothy smile when he got close to her. She would have retched if her stomach had anything to give to the smell.
"Brought me a woman have you? I've been waiting for a plaything." There was a chorus of laughter. Sarah's lips formed a grim line.
"Even better!" the leader of the expedition exclaimed, hand over heart. "This is the woman of Kaim Argonar!"
Time seemed to still and the air was suddenly frigid cold, as if someone doused the fire out. Sarah's heart picked up in pace when the ugly brute of a man stepped even closer to her. Her fingers clenched around the makeshift staff underneath her cloak when he did so. "General Kaim Argonar is not a friend of mine, woman. You know that right?"
"I'm sure my husband would never have a friend like you."
The man yanked the hood off of her head and held her face with his free hand. Sarah squirmed from the touch, but looked him straight in his good eye. She was giving off a challenge, and the man was ready to take it. He laughed deep and dark. His hand that wasn't holding her face, unclasped her cloak and let it fall slowly to the floor.
Sarah, who was hiding her walking stick underneath said cloak, went in for the surprise. She slammed the stick into his jaw, and when he cried out in pain he let go of her face. While the makeshift staff was still connected to him, she let out all the magic energy she had been storing in herself. It wasn't much but she was hoping it would be a good enough distraction for her to escape. It zapped the leader sending him flying away from her. The room stayed silent as they watched their leader stumble backwards. It was her moment to flee while everyone was rushing towards the man on the ground, but Sarah was suddenly reminded of one thing. She hadn't eaten in nearly four days, and that little energy she stored in herself was all the energy she had left. She went to turn away and her legs were suddenly like gelatin and she could not even support herself going one step in any direction. The next thing she knew was that she was on the floor, weakly looking at the floor.
As she was being lifted up by the recovered leader, she could only manage to raise one hand to his wrist. A poor way to try and defend herself.
"You'll pay for that with your life!" Spit hit Sarah's face, but she didn't have time to be disgusted as she was now struggling to find a way to remove the hand from her throat. His hand was large, large enough that he could touch fingers as they squeezed around her throat. She clawed at it, moved her face side to side, but less air was coming in the more pressure he added. Within a few moments her vision was starting to fade. Her heartbeat hard and fast, and there was a heaviness suddenly in her head as she tried to gasp for breath. Bones started to crack as the hand grew tighter, and Sarah knew she wasn't getting out of this alive. In an odd moment of clarity before her vision left her totally, she thought about the poor man—her dear husband—who was no doubt trying to look for her in this snow.
Please don't find me until after I'm reborn! she thought, knowing Kaim's heart would break if he found her dead, and then the world went black.
. . .
Kaim luckily found one boy in Tosca who had seen Sarah as she was leaving. "I saw Miss Sarah and I waved but she didn't wave back! I think she was frowning?"
They had taken her through the black cave several hours before. Kaim was in luck. He knew that cave like the back of his hand, and could get through it quickly. Only problem was that Sarah knew the cave just as well and probably led them through it just as fast. He pulled his scarf tighter around his neck and made his way through.
He was met with a very fierce storm on the other side of the mountain, though. One he wouldn't be able to travel through without getting very lost or hurting himself. It was almost midnight when he got out of the cave and there wasn't going to be any light for traveling far, so he stuck to the path before him. His eyes glued down onto the ground in front of him, as the snow and wind carried him forward. He reached his destination without getting lost. Realizing he was going to be forced to stay in Saman until the weather cleared, Kaim made his way to the little inn. Kersen's inn keeper gave Kaim his normal room and food.
"By any chance have you seen Sarah pass through here?"
"Was she supposed to? Odd that you'd be traveling separate! No, I have not, Mr. Argonar. Your wife hasn't been here in a few weeks!" The face Kaim made must have been one of distraught. The inn keeper held up his hands, trying to reassure him. "But I'll ask around! I was gone for most of today!"
Sarah hadn't stopped here at the inn, and there hadn't been any boats leaving the port in about two weeks with the weather, which meant she could be in this storm. There was only one place they could have taken her from here, and that made Kaim frown. He reminded himself again that she was immortal, that he would find her no matter what was thrown his way, but he still felt the niggling feeling of anxiety. Begrudgingly, he ate his food knowing he was going to need all the strength to travel through the Ice Canyon.
.
The storm didn't stop until two mornings later. Frustrated with time lost, Kaim bought some gear, including matches and a little pot to boil the fresh fallen snow into water, and set out north. The snow slowed him down more than he would like; he had to camp out two days when, traveling normally, he would be able to make it to this cavern in a day's time. There was a little trail left by a wagon, though, and he was grateful for that at least. It helped his boots clear a better path for him to walk.
I wonder what a wagon would be doing going up this way? There wasn't any towns or life between Saman and the Ice Canyon, and who would want to force any beast to go through this heavy snow? Kaim asked himself, frowning. He picked up his pace the best he could.
By the middle of the third day away from Saman, he found the abandoned wagon. It was looking like another storm was heading his way anyway, so he figured he'd create a shelter with it. The animals that were pulling the thing were gone; either let go or taken through the canyon, and the wagon itself was pretty sturdy. In the afternoon light, Kaim set up camp.
He quickly examined the outside of the wagon. The tarp looked sealed up tight, with no visible holes. He tossed his things on the inside of the wagon and quickly found some heavy rocks to block the wheels from moving with the wind. With that done, and some extra snow packed around it for good measure, he was positive this wagon would be a pretty good shelter for the night.
He threw open the tarp and climbed inside. The floor was made of metal and it was very cold to the touch. Kaim knew if the temperature was going to drop he could freeze out here. So he hopped back out and wandered around the trees beside the canyon's entrance. He collected enough branches and stones to make a small fire, and a little barrier around it to keep the branches and fire in place.
With his little fire made, and the metal wagon heating up nicely, Kaim set to boiling some water and making his dinner. When he dipped his little pot outside to scoop up snow, he noticed that it was already snowing heavily. He wouldn't be surprised if there were another foot of snow added to the blanket of it already on the ground.
His dinner made and eaten, Kaim pulled out his blanket to sleep. Or at least he tried to sleep. Between the metal ground, the wind that sent a little whistle through a small crack in the wooden walls, and the nightmares he'd been having, morning came slowly and with little rest.
Kaim packed away his things. The night's snow left another two feet on the ground, coming up to Kaim's thighs. He had to wade through the snow to get to the canyon, and then dig to get to the entrance. It was two day's walk through this place, as long as the snow let off. It had been almost a week since he had seen Sarah last, but his mind couldn't even process what could be happening to her. Only just that he needed to see her, and know she was safe. Kaim pulled his coat around him, secured his pack, and kept his scarf covered face low. He didn't need any more cold wind to hit his chapped lips. I'm coming, Sarah. Just a little longer.
.
There wasn't much snowfall happening in the Ice Canyon, though the wind was bitter and blew hard. With Kaim constantly keeping his head down he noticed that there was a trail that had definitely been left by a group of a half dozen people and maybe three horses. Their deep steps were still in the snow, and it looked like they were struggling a little to get through this place in one piece. Kaim reused the group's old campsites as he went along, and found that it was the only thing he could be happy about.
Halfway through, he found something that made his heart almost leap right out of his chest. There on the ground, crystalized in the cold snow and ice, lay glasses. Not any glasses, but Sarah's favorite pair. Kaim could have cried if his face wasn't frozen in a scowl from the icy wind. At last some sign that he was going in the right direction, and that this trip wasn't lost. He figured they had to be closer up ahead, maybe only one full day's head start, and that he could catch up to them before nightfall of the next day. He carefully scooped them into a hand and tucked them inside of his coat. Head bowed again, he doubled his pace wanting to get out of the canyon as soon as possible.
Just as he had hoped, Kaim finally noticed them the next night. He was having trouble in the snow—his exhaustion of getting little sleep and the constant cold blast of wind hindering his body from working all the way correctly—but he concentrated and tried to be as silent as he could. The land was leveling out, though the snow had come back with a vengeance now that he was out of the canyon. This cabin that he was being led to was just on the outskirts of Gohtza. He wondered just who these men were and what they wanted Sarah for. He tried wracking his brain, but he was coming up blank. He could hardly think straight anyway, and decided just to focus on getting closer without making himself known.
He dipped into some trees to the left of them, watching for any signs of his wife, and finally caught her in the middle of the group. He couldn't see her face, but that was her cloak. He remembered her embroidering it before he left for that war eight years before. The group was at the cabin now, and he waited until they were inside and it had grown quiet before walking out from the trees.
He paused when he saw a blast of light come through the windows. He stood still for a moment preparing for the men to come outside and notice him. There were murmurs and a shout before everything went quiet again. Seeing that no one was coming outside, Kaim roused himself from his position and slowly made his way to the door. It was when he heard someone say, "I'll have your life for that!" that he stopped in his tracks. After a second of fumbling with his tired legs, he made to run to the door. He tripped in the snow, cursing his legs and arms, and threw away his pack that kept him tangled and heavy. It took a moment to gather himself up again, grab his blade from where it hung on his hip, and kick open the door.
Kaim stepped in looking at the scene before him. The men had made a half-circle around two figures in the middle of the room, but parted when they heard the door crash open. That left him with a clear view of what was happening in the middle of the room. Kaim suddenly could only concentrate on one body, and that was Sarah's unmoving form in the hold of the man's fingers.
He didn't even give himself any time to make out the situation. In an instant, the blind rage came back in full swing, and Kaim charged at Sarah's attacker. There was no sound, but the face he must have made scared all of the men in the room and they scrambled to get out of his way. The easy manner Kaim was able to cut down their leader in the matter of a few seconds had everyone running from the small cabin.
Kaim breathed in and out several times, reminding himself that this man wasn't a good man. His exhausted mind was trying to reason out for the death of a mortal, like it always did when he had to strike down another. He thought to himself that this bandit leader hurt many people, and even worse, hurt someone he loved. That finally brought him back to Sarah. Eyes suddenly widening, he dropped to his knees and pulled his wife away from the dead man. He shifted her head. There were bruises, ugly and blue, dotted around her throat, but her spine was not crushed. She had a pulse—he wasn't too late, and she wasn't dead—and when he saw her chest slowly rise and fall, he started to cry. Tears fell freely from his eyes and he just didn't have the energy to wipe them away. They fell onto Sarah's clothes, her neck, and on her face. The only noise in the room was her raspy breath and his shaky one.
He knew she was fine, that even if her life had ended it would have only been for a moment or two, but he was haunted by the events of the last few years. The deaths of whole villages and the bodies strewn on the floor. The women, children, and the horror that he had seen. He turned bleary eyes to the scarred man in black next to them and had to hold himself back from kicking the lifeless bandit. He's gone and won't hurt another person, he reminded himself, though it did little to quell the anger at this man who was a major part in this ugly war.
Kaim tried wiping at his eyes, but it wasn't helping. Tears still fell and his gasping was coming out harder. Exhaustion and grief was winning out over the anger he felt, and he was powerless to stop his body from showing it. Instead, he clutched onto the front of Sarah's shirt and buried his face in it. The quiet sobs jerked his body forward and back against her. He couldn't stop it. He just needed to be near her, feel her chest heaving as she tried to regain the air she had lost. When he felt her shift underneath him, he wiped his eyes on the back of his gloves and lifted his face.
She was blinking and squinting, but when she finally saw him, her face broke into the widest smile he had ever seen. Kaim didn't know why but just seeing that smile collapsed him back into tears. Sobs broke out and he covered his face with his hands, a little ashamed at the display of emotion and that he couldn't even smile back to her. Sarah sat up, tangled arms around him, whispering raspingly, "I love you."
Kaim couldn't even find his voice to answer. He just crushed her into a hug and held on tight. Sarah gasped a little when she moved her neck, but found a comfortable spot to lay her head. He held her for a few moments before standing them up slowly. He looked her up and down. The trek wasn't easy and having not eaten much in a week and a half was starting to show on her. His eyes grew in concern, but she shook her head. She whispered, "Kaim, let's get out of here. I know it's not the best idea, but let's leave to Gohtza. It's maybe a half a mile from here." She looked to want to say more, but she held her throat in pain and coughed a little.
Kaim understood. They would want to leave before any curious eyes came wandering back to see what came out of his arrival. Kaim shrugged out of his coat and out of the sweaters he wore. Sarah almost objected but he knew she wasn't wearing much anyway, and so she relented. She pulled two sweaters over her head and pulled on her cloak. Kaim made sure she was secured, wore his gloves around her sore fingers, and warm before putting his coat on and finding his sword.
Sarah took one last look at the man on the floor, blank eyes staring at the ceiling. With a frown she drew her hood up. Kaim did the same.
. . .
Sarah was holding Kaim's hand tightly when he placed the money on the counter at the hotel they were staying at. This place was a little fancier than they had been to before, but knew that Kaim didn't want to risk any security by sleeping in a lesser, probably more criminalized, inn. Not when these bandits were still lingering around Gohtza. The inn keeper eyed them suspiciously, and Sarah couldn't blame him. They were practically hanging onto each other to stand, and looked a mess. She thanked him any way as he handed over their key. She kept hold of his hand all the way to their room and only let it go so that they could pull off their winter gear.
She was worried about him. The whole trip to the city he was quiet, but not the same quiet he always was. She was used to the warm quiet, the listening calm he exuded when they were together. This time his eyes darted around and would linger on her for a moment before shying away to the ground, like he was embarrassed or ashamed of something. So she held onto his hand and squeezed it when he looked away, refusing to let it go until now.
Sarah peeled off her sweaters and straightened out her skirt. Kaim rested his hands on her arms. He seemed to frown as he gently squeezed and probed the thin limbs. "When was the last time you ate?" His voice was soft, but dry. The tone higher than normal. Sarah's throat still ached and all she could manage was a halfhearted shrug and a shake of her head.
His grip tightened, and Sarah noticed the tremble in him. Almost like he was trying to suppress a comment. She studied his face and saw that his frown deepened into a scowl and his brow knit together in anger. There wasn't need for that now, what happened had happened and it didn't matter. She raised her hands and placed them on his chest, dislodging the look and his own hold on her. Kaim blinked for a moment before dipping out away from her concerned expression and out of the room.
He came back a few minutes later with a bowl of warm soup and bread. "They were able to reheat what they served for dinner here. I don't think it'll upset your injuries any further. Soak the bread before you chew it." He was all business and Sarah knew it was because he wanted to avoid talking about the past few weeks or the past few years. He set down the bowl in front of her and turned around to pull off his shirt. Sarah decided not to bring up whatever was bothering him at the moment and filled herself up, slowly, with the thin soup.
Kaim folded his clothing and tended to the fire in the room as Sarah finished her dinner and placed the tray outside of the door. She then maneuvered herself out of her heavy skirt and down to her shift. Her shift got caught as she was pulling off her shirt, and it raised above her underclothing, exposing her middle. She felt him get up before she saw him, and heard the gasp before she turned around. "I don't look that great," she whispered, adjusting her night shift over her body again. She had lost weight not only because she had only ate the crusts of the bread the men ate on this miserable journey, but all the walking too. Underneath the loose material her ribs were protruding out and everywhere else felt a little weak and too thin. It didn't help that she also tended to eat a lot less when Kaim wasn't around, and within the last eight years had lost some weight to begin with. She was trying to work on that part of her life, because she knew that her husband hated that she would forget to eat sometimes.
Kaim looked heartbroken again, and Sarah lifted her hands to his face, trying to smooth away the one tear that rolled down his cheek. She noticed for the first time just how badly he looked, and that he could use some rest with the puffy bags under his eyes. Sarah tried to ignore it, saying, "I'm with you and I will be fine." She smiled, but he didn't return it.
Instead, it looked like he wanted to argue that point, but Sarah just tugged him to the bed in the middle of the room. She pulled him by the hand and folded back the covers. She was feeling cold and sore from the constant winter weather, but with the fire going and the three blankets provided, she was sure to get warm soon. She climbed into bed and looked at Kaim expectantly. He didn't hesitate to follow her in and wrap his arms around her. She ignored his look of despair as she tugged his arms around to bring her in close, and snuggled into his warmth. Kaim was always warmer, always felt like summer. It was this thought that led her to a dreamless slumber.
. . .
In the middle of the night the bed shifted so unexpectedly that Sarah awoke immediately from her sleep. She let her eyes adjust in the dying firelight to the sitting form of Kaim, hunched over. She thought maybe he was just trying to rub his eyes but then she saw the outline of him shake. The bed started to move with it.
"Kaim?"
The shaking stopped and Kaim was on his feet. His voice was hoarse as he said, "I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."
Sarah moved and caught his hand before he could leave the bedside. She didn't say anything, just guided him back into the blankets. When she finally got him to turn to her, she could see the unshed tears. She took her hands and started her routine of smoothing down his hair, but even that relaxing motion couldn't stop the hitched breathing and the wild look as he stared into her eyes. It was almost as if he couldn't believe she was laying here, breathing next to him. She frowned, wanting to pull him out of this melancholy. She pulled his hair into one hand and pulled on it lightly in a sort of teasing way. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.
He shook his head. "I just want to sleep."
He hadn't had a good rest in such a long time. Her heart pulled for him.
Sarah nodded. She was so very used to healing and white magic that she could perform a simple sleep spell without a staff as a conduit. "Close your eyes, then. I'll help you sleep." His eyes fluttered closed, and she took a deep breath in. "Breathe in and out, Kaim. Like this." He matched her breathing and slowly she could feel the tension leave his body. She held his face in her hands, thumbs rubbing slow circles across his cheeks. She focused her magic energy on her fingers and as she breathed out next, so did the spell.
He relaxed almost immediately, breathing evening. She could only hope he didn't have any nightmares. "Maybe no dreams at all," she said aloud to herself as she tucked the blankets around her sleeping husband.
. . .
Kaim woke up. It was like waking up from being reborn. No dreams or nightmares, just a black nothingness and then suddenly there's light and whatever else was in the room. He wasn't at home, and he tensed ready for action before the flood of memories came back to him. He was suddenly sitting up, searching for Sarah.
She had jumped a little from where she was sitting across the room. "I think I over did that sleep spell!" She came over to the bed, dragging a chair with her. "You've been asleep for three days."
"Days?" he asked groggily, tongue still too thick to say more. It was like his senses were trying to catch up to his body. He shielded his eyes from the too bright light that streamed through the window, and suddenly everything felt loud. The sleep spell was still lingering in his system, and he had trouble keeping his eyes open. Sarah lay a hand on his bare chest, and that seemed to help center himself. She grabbed a staff that was leaning against the wall by the bed and concentrated a warm energy into his body. He could feel the last of the sleep spell drain away, leaving him feeling better than he had in a long while.
He took a look at Sarah. She was looking better, though the bruises on her neck still stood out an ugly purple and yellow against her pale skin. Her voice wasn't raspy, so her vocal chords must have healed. She didn't seem weak from hunger or exhaustion any more, and she was wearing her glasses on her face again.
She smoothed her fingers across his chest and breathed in. "I've been healing you while you slept," she said, setting the staff down, but keeping that one hand on him. "You weren't really hurt, but I know your body hasn't been getting properly taken care of in the last few weeks. Found my glasses in your things! Thank you for finding them! Oh! I bought another staff, didn't take me too long to get used to it. Sorry, might have borrowed some money from you. I mean we are married, and I guess what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine, but I'll repay you when we go back home! The weather has been nice but it's still so very cold! It's normally colder up here anyway, righ—?"
Kaim stopped her talking with a kiss. One that was full of longing and a little desperate. It had been too long since he had really kissed her like this, and he was feeling a little guilty over the neglect of it. When he pulled away he was rewarded with her slight blush, lips a little swollen from the force behind their meeting. He laughed a little and smiled for the first time in what seemed like a long time. She looked very pleased at his smile, hers matching his. "I'm sorry," he said after a moment.
"For what?"
"Everything." Kaim looked away momentarily. One thing he had come to realize on the way back from that forsaken cabin was that he was the one who gave that man that scar on his face. Those men were the leftovers of those bandits he disbanded almost a month before. They must have wanted to get Sarah as revenge, and he was lucky enough to get to them before they did something to her that was worse than death. Flashes of the scenes from this war came back to him. He sat momentarily stunned when he remembered the poor women and what had been done to them, until the hand on his chest came to cup his cheek.
"There is no need to apologize. You came and we got out."
"But it was my fault!" He wanted to say more but Sarah leaned in and gave him little peck on the lips. He frowned and she laughed. She used his own strategy against him.
"I can take care of myself, Kaim. You know that. Even if you hadn't gotten there when you did, we would have eventually found each other."
Kaim couldn't help the tears he found welling up in his eyes. He thought he'd be cried out already, but that didn't stop them anyway. "You don't know…you don't know what they did! I had dreams—nightmares about them, and what they could do to you." He couldn't find the words to go on.
"One day you'll tell me," she said, all love in her voice. He relaxed just a little. "And I'll listen and try to understand everything you have experienced and saw. So when you're ready, promise me you'll tell me. You don't have to describe it, I don't want you to relive anything, but please." Sarah was smiling and he couldn't ignore that. He nodded. "And if you need help sleeping again, just ask! I've got a new staff, you already know, and this time I won't make it a three day sleep!"
He laughed a little. He could tell that Sarah had taken that as an improvement in mood, and it was just a little. He still couldn't shake the anxiety off fully, but he thought maybe he could finally take his first tiptoeing step towards talking about the last eight years. He pulled the covers out and stepped onto the warm floor. He stretched a little, feeling his sore muscles protest. He rubbed one arm and then realized he hadn't showered since before he started his journey. He shuddered a little and knew he needed to clean himself up.
With a bit of a mischievous look, he pulled Sarah out of her chair. "I'm going to shower, and I think you should come with me."
Sarah rolled her eyes, but laughed when he tugged at her dress. She shooed his hands away from her clothes, but after a moment grabbed onto his arm and towed him towards the bathroom. She looked back him, saying, "alright, alright, but you have to rub my back! I am in need of a good massage!"
Kaim let the smile come to him easy, and hummed in response at her request.