Chapter 43. Horror

Dumbledore looked solemnly out over the grounds of Hogwarts. Severus tried to tear his eyes from the headmaster, to also take in the beauty that was the campus view from the astronomy tower, but the knowledge that the man before him would be dead by the end of the day made it impossible. He took in the half-moon spectacles perched on the old wizard's nose, the lavender robes just a touch too tight over his torso. The older wizard cradled his cursed hand in his other, now completely black and nearly crumbling. He would be dead anyway, within the next few months, regardless of Snape's actions. He ran that fact over his mind repeatedly in the hopes it would allow him the courage to complete the deed that had been forced on his shoulders.

He knew his godson was in the room of requirement now, prepping the Vanishing Cabinet for the arrival of his peers. Snape willed himself not to think of Hermione or her friends, hoping that most of them would have left to catch the train from Hogwarts directly after their breakfast. Hermione would not. Neither would Draco. The golden trio would be there, likely all the Weasley's left at school would stay back. They would all be waiting for their chosen one to return from his quest with Dumbledore.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, his voice weighed down. Severus stepped forward a bit more, finally allowing himself to look at the view. It was a grim day, the clouds kept the moist heat trapped below them, while the sun tried its hardest to burn through them. The black lake was still, even though there was a slight breeze blowing through the trees littered throughout the grounds. The grass was dried out and brown from the summer sun, wilting into the dirt beneath it.

"I suppose," he replied, clenching his jaw, and linking his hands behind his back.

"I must say, I didn't imagine myself dying this way, Severus," the older wizard mused aloud. Severus said nothing, the trees blurred into the sky, his vision distorting as he shifted his focus away from what he was looking at. "But, I suppose, it would be better to die at the end of a friend than the hand of an enemy. Takes away their power, giving it to me." His determination sent a shiver down his spine.

A friend would not make such a demand, they would not be asked to murder their friend. Those are the orders of a dictator, Severus bit his tongue, holding his thoughts behind the mask of his occlumency. He could not figure out what to say instead. It was not an honour, it was not a burden he was willing to bear. There was nothing to say that was even slightly honest that would agree with Dumbledore's sentiment. The silence lingered between them as Severus attempted to determine the correct response.

"As you probably already know, I am going on a dangerous mission with Harry shortly," Dumbledore started, breaking the heavy air between them. Severus adjusted his poster and grunted in acknowledgement, restraining himself from protesting the idea. It was a foolish endeavour that Dumbledore was setting himself and Harry upon so late in the year. "When we come back, I expect everything will be in place?"

"Draco has made the necessary preparations," Severus confirmed, his thoughts flashing to his Godson's triumph over the vanishing cabinet, before being bombarded with yet another question.

"And no one is aware of tonight's plan?" Dumbledore cocked an eyebrow as he looked at his subordinate from the corner of his eye.

"No one," his voice strained. It was the truth, he just wished it was not. His stomach knotted again as his thoughts easily drifted to the image of his witch's features: her brown curls, beaming grim, growing belly. He forced his mind to block out the intrusive visions of her mangled body, cursed by one of the death eaters, strewn on the stairs of Hogwarts. I will not let that happen, he asserted, standing a bit straighter.

"Then I believe it is time for breakfast."

-x-

Severus made his way down to the Great Hall, passing Potter as he ascended to the platform where he had left Albus. He did not acknowledge the boy, nor did the boy acknowledge him. Perhaps Dumbledore will die on this mission of his. Maybe I won't have to kill him after all. While his thoughts were grim, it seemed a hopeful prospect that maybe he wouldn't have to be a murderer in the eyes of those he cared for.

The Great Hall was bustling with people, mostly chatting with each other instead of eating, too exciting to be heading home for the summer. He spotted the flaming red hair of the Weasley's at the end of the Gryffindor table, accompanied by the wild main of his love. He bit down on his tongue and diverted his gaze, walking up to the head table to sit next to Minerva. She was happily picking away at her eggs, watching with giddy as the students said their goodbyes.

"Oh Severus, there you are," she chirped as he sat down. "I'm so glad you could join us for breakfast, it's been quite a morning." Her eyes flicked towards Hermione. Severus swallowed, allowing himself a glimpse of the girl who was preoccupied with the Weasley girl. With Potter gone on his Horcrux hunt, his friends were surely a mess in his wake.

"Albus won't be joining us, urgent matters he said, though he didn't specify what those urgent matters were, precisely," Minerva continued. Snape's gut churned, feeling the clock ticking against him. How many staff would remain behind? How many would die? Once the truth was out since there will be no hiding from it, what will happen to me?

He quickly realized he spent far too much time thinking of himself. How would he survive, how would his love and daughter survive. When it all boiled down to it, he was too selfish to sacrifice himself for the good of others. Clenching his jaw, he looked over at Minerva and determined she would be someone he was prepared to die for. She was a loyal friend, regardless of their rivalries and kind to him when he needed it most. As the youngest Hogwarts professor, he had learned much from her guidance through the years.

Easily he would die for Hermione and their child, in a heartbeat, he would give his life for them. Her friends, maybe, if it came down to it. Though he hadn't quite thought that dying for a Potter would be quite in his ideal martyr scenario. The memory of James and his party taunting him in school flashed before his eyes but he quickly banished it, for those memories almost always led to Lily.

"You are quite lost in thought, Severus, where are you?" Minerva's caring tone pulled him from his self-pity.

"Wondering what urgent business was so important to pull Mr Potter from his friends on his final day at the school," he growled. The last name tasted bitter in his mouth.

Draco was nowhere to be seen in the crowd, Snape noted, which worried him slightly more. Minerva made a sound of agreement and started speaking, but Severus was too busy scanning the room looking for his godson to catch any of it. He was supposed to be at breakfast, as planned, showing his face off to his Slytherin friends and pretending as if everything were normal. Perhaps his absence was normal. It wasn't as though Severus had spent a lot of him looking for his godson in crowds throughout the day. He couldn't remember a time where he had tried to look for him at a meal. The professor struggled to contain his nervous energy, finally slamming it behind his mental shields as he took a sip of tea. He would have rathered something a tad stronger, firewhisky or such to calm his nerves. That was something new, he determined, nerves. He hadn't had any nerves before meeting Hermione. But then again, he'd also had nothing to lose.

"Are you joining the students on the train into London for the summer?" Severus inquired, glueing his gaze to the doors to the hall.

"No, I have some work to finish up, prep for next semester," she answered, swirling her finger in the air and stirring her coffee. Severus noticed her ease and oblivion to the mess that would befall her. There was some edge to her tone, clearly sensing something in the air was changing, but overall it seemed she had determined they would start the summer off easy. The elder witch glanced at him, as if waiting for some sort of response, that Severus gave in the form of a grunt. "Will you be on the train? Wouldn't be like you," she commented.

"No, I too have tasks to attend to," he couldn't mask the grim in his voice, or the foreboding nature of his comment. She had picked up on it, but the tensing of her hand and posture adjustment, but did not address it. The two continued their breakfast in silence.

-x-

The end of the day loomed over him as Severus in Minerva's chambers, sipping tea with the witch as she flicked her quill across the parchment in front of her. They had been sitting in silence, the questions lingering at the edge of his colleague's mind. He could hear her going through the wording of the question she begged to ask and had been thinking about since Hermione's return. How was he handling Hermione's affair? He knew she was only worried about his mental health. Acutely unaware of the fact that there were far more pressing matters on his mind than a simple affair would have. As far as she was concerned, Draco and Hermione's fake relationship had lead to other relations resulting in her pregnancy. Severus had insisted there was nothing more to discuss. He had fallen in love with the wrong witch for the second time and there was nothing that could be done. It was safer for her to be with someone her own age anyone. Minerva had reluctantly agreed never to mention it again, but there was always a lingering question whenever he deemed to check in on her thoughts. This tea was no different.

Severus finished his cup and set it down on saucer on the coffee table in front of him and sat back, relaxing a bit in the hopes it would allow her the comfort to question him. She didn't look up from her work. The witch's instance on keeping her word amused him, and he decided it would be time to alleviate her mind. Minerva had gone through too many loops to not have her mind put to ease. She was the first to hear of her love for him, she was let in on the alleged romance between Draco and Hermione, his fallacy over Tessa prior to her passing, all while she kept their secret. When she heard of Hermione's pregnancy, and Snape was forced to cover with a story of her genuinely falling for Draco during their false romance, and the break down of the relationship between the younger witch and himself. She had let him mourn the false heartbreak in peace, never poking for more information. Minerva took every move of Dumbledore's to set Severus and Hermione in each other's vicinity as a direct punishment for their involvement and was adamantly at his side through it all. He couldn't have asked for a better friend.

"Minerva, is there something on your mind?" He led, catching her glance up from her studies.

"Whatever do you mean, Severus?" She asked, brushing him off with her tone. He watched her, slightly hunched over her work, with her spectacles resting on the bridge of her nose. There were more wrinkles than there had been before, and he wondered if he took had taken on age since he'd first started. The youngest professor in a long time, far younger than the rest, but Hogwarts had a way of ageing its professors.

"If there was something you wanted to ask me, I may be in a position to answer," he continued, looking off to examine her pack-full bookshelf beside the fireplace. She paused, letting his statement linger before she finally decided to relieve her thoughts.

"You always seem to be elsewhere, Severus, I wonder-" She stopped, once again going over the wording of her questions repeatedly in her head unable to decide on the correct way to word it. "How are you handling... things," she finally posed. Severus let out a breath of a laugh. Of all the ways she had thought to ask, she had decided on the vaguest possible options.

"Things," he quoted. "Are being handled," he answered solemnly. "In regards to my brief fling with Miss Granger, as I'm sure you are wondering about the most, I am- decent." The answer surprised the witch.

"You've just seemed so morose since her return, I thought-"

"I am glad Miss Granger is back for her studies, I am glad she will be well taken care of by my Godson. There is not much else I can do about it," he reasoned. "At least she isn't with an enemy."

"No, that is an improvement," Minerva added. You will find someone, better than Miss Evans or Miss Granger, the older witch voiced internally, not knowing he was listening.

Perhaps I won't have to, he mused in return. "If you are satisfied, perhaps we can talk about something other than my love life?" Severus suggested, pouring himself another cup of tea. Minerva scoffed at the comment, standing from her desk and joining him by the fireplace. She also summoned a cup with a flick of her wrist and brought the cup to her mouth. She let out a contented sigh and melted into her wingback chair.

"I suppose another topic couldn't hurt," she cast a smirk which Severus returned. This was the calm before the storm, and he was determined to relish in the time he had left with his friends.

-x-

It was still light out from what he could tell from the dungeons, but the clouds were hanging heavy and grey. Severus had returned to his office, to wait out the rest of the afternoon. There was nothing he could do to mask his anxiety from Minerva, and he had determined the remaining time before the return of the headmaster had best be done in solitude. He watched the clock as the minutes ticked by. He half expected Draco or Hermione to burst through the doors and announce something that would delay the plan, but it appeared the night would be going as smoothly as the Dark Lord was hoping.

He stood, cold sweat beading on his hands and down his back. His heart pounded in his ears as he made his way to the door, allowing nothing to show through his composed exterior. Severus kept his face devoid of emotion as he rounded the stairs, passing teachers and students still lingering in the halls. It was late and the train would have left by then, but the stragglers obviously had other modes of transportation back to London. Wealthy families perhaps? or professors for parents. Either way, they were in the direct line of assault that would befall them, unbeknownst to them.

Continuing ahead, a bouncing mane caught him off guard and he nearly stumbled over his feet as he spotted Hermione walking down the hall towards him. Severus stopped dead in his tracks and Hermione ran over to him, throwing her arms around him. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. She smelt of cinnamon and lemon, so familiar he almost melted into her. He felt tendrils of her long hair brush against his hands and he ached to run his fingers through it. She wore a soft t-shirt, so worn it must have been from when she was a child, but incredibly soft. He pressed his cheek into her head, fighting back tears as he relished in the embrace. He was acutely aware that there may have been witnesses, but when they stepped apart, there was no one in the vicinity.

"Hermione," he whispered, looking down at her. Her eyes were dark, as though she hadn't been sleeping, and her skin was starting to freckle. He bent down to capture her lips, cupping her cheeks with his palms. She placed her fingers over his hands and kissed him back, stepping onto her tip-toes to compensate for her growing belly between them. He broke the kiss once his thoughts centred and he remembered where it was he was supposed to be.

"Severus," she said, looking up at him with a lazy smile on her lips. Tears threatened his eyes but he held composure, letting his hands fall from her form.

"Hermione," he started, a light flickering on in the witch's eyes. "You must go. Find the Weasley girl, and Ronald, stay in your common room, I fear-" He stopped, preventing himself from letting any secrets go. "You should leave, go to your family. Find a way to leave this school as soon as you can. I don't think you're safe at Hogwarts anymore," he finished. He had said too much. Her face was contorted in confusion, but before she could reply, he stole another kiss before darting past her and towards the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. He hoped she would listen.

As he rounded the metal staircase, he heard the thundering of steps coming towards him. Harry looked at him, stunned, and Severus motioned for him to stay quiet. The chosen boy looked fine, a bit tousled and his clothes slightly damp, but other than that, rather the same mutt he had always been. Severus passed the boy and got to the top platform, where he discovered Draco with his wand pointed at Dumbledore. His godson was shaking, tears streaming down his face. Draco had never been the most composed wizard on the planet, but he was nearing the point of shattering as he faced down his commitment. Bellatrix, the Carrows, and Fenrir Greyback circled the poor boy, offering taunts. Snape watched his godson falter, and stalked over to take his place. Draco, shocked as he stumbled away, shot his godfather a look laced with disgust.

Severus' gaze locked with the Headmaster before him. Dumbledore stood in submission, his hands reached out in front of him, void of his wand. He seemed to step back towards the ledge, pleading with him through his dim blue eyes. Snape's stomach knotted up and he felt as though he would vomit as he raised his own wand at the older wizard. Every action seemed to be weighed down by the air, his mind moving slowly as he tried to match his actions with his thoughts. Nothing seemed to click, every inch of him begged him to stop.

"Severus, please," Dumbledore whispered, inciting Severus to step back. He desperately tried to read the man's face. There was almost a sense of calm in the wrinkles, his eyes masked with defeat. He was relaxed, even with his hands up in defence, knowing death would come. In one second, his visage became a mirror, reflecting Severus' own disgust back at him. How did it get this far? How did I let this happen? Severus forced himself to recall that it was Dumbledore who has asked this of him, who had cut his own life short by putting on the cursed ring. He was to blame. None of that penetrated, though, through the self-hatred he was swimming in as he conjured the strength and intent to utter the words.

"Avada Kedavra," the killing curse fell from his lips as a green bolt shot out from his wand and slammed into Dumbledore, his lifeless body falling over the rail of the astronomy tower. The world stopped. Severus' heart stopped beating. The world hung in the pause as he watched the Headmaster of Hogwarts fall to the ground below. Bellatrix screamed with delight, snapping him from the intermission, and the world blurred with newfound speed. Severus reached out and grabbed Draco's arm, pulling him down the staircase. The pounding of footsteps behind him indicated that the others were following suit, Bellatrix skipping down the stairs. He made his way out of the castle as fast as he could, praying the Death Eaters wouldn't cause too much destruction, but he was wrong. Harry had obviously managed to alert the other professors to the event and they were quick to prepare for battle.

Curses flew around him as he made his way to the front, Draco fending off what he could with one arm as he was dragged behind Severus. He heard Bellatrix screaming with delight as hexes cracked around the halls. He knew there were aurors on his tail, so he didn't even stop to breathe. He had nearly made it to the grounds, fleeing for the Dark Forest so that they could apparate away, but he heard a voice that stopped him in his tracks.

"You killed him! He trusted you!" Harry Potter accused, sending a curse which Severus deflected. He sent Draco on his way, Bellatrix coming up behind the chosen boy and posing herself to snap a curse at the unexpecting student.

"No, Bella, you must leave him for the Dark Lord," Severus bellowed, inciting a sneer from the witch as she stumbled past the boy. Harry flung another curse at him, one straight from the Half-Blood Prince textbook and he protected himself easily. Severus reared up to case a stinging hex back but stopped when he saw Hermione bounding towards him, the Weasley's in tow along with Minerva. The looks on their faces shocked him momentarily, and he almost missed deflecting another of Potter's charms.

He stumbled back, catching the look on Hermione's face before tearing off into the darkness of the forest. As soon as he reached the barrier, the apparated, landing in a slump on the marble floor of the Malfoy Manor. He was in agony, every nerve on his body firing with all force. He knew he must have been surrounded by his peers, but crumpled into himself a bit further. Images flashed through his mind: Dumbledore's body flying off the top of the tower, Draco's disgust as he positioned himself to kill the headmaster, the hatred plastered on Harry's mug. He dared himself to stand, wobbling under the gravity. One image wouldn't leave him, stabbing his heart like daggers. He wanted to look up, to seem proud of his actions. He had completed the task at hand, but it took all his strength to contain himself. The image burned hotter, haunting him. Hermione's face as he ran off into the forest. The horror in her features.

"Well done Severus, Draco," Voldemort hissed. "I hear the task was completed with quite the show." Bellatrix cackled at the analysis. Severus tried not to vomit as stood up straight and took in the world around him. There weren't as many Death Eaters present as he had expected. The four from the tower, their leader, and the Malfoys holding on their son who was working terribly hard at not weeping into his mother's arms. Severus was alone in the centre of the room, with all eyes locked on him, waiting for a comment.

"Dumbledore is dead, my Lord," he confirmed.

"Exceptional."

I didn't want to copy the book or movie too closely with the death scene for Dumbledore, but I wanted to get it mostly right. Hopefully, I achieved the balance! I hope you're all well and keeping safe.