Chapter 20

Entering the library, I was surprised to see the whole gang there, including Adrian. He was the first to notice my arrival, seeming not to be involved in the conversation going around the table.

"Little dhampir, I've missed you." He grinned at me, followed by a wink.

I could see Dimitri become tense out of the corner of my eye. After all the jealousy I was feeling for him and Anastasia, I felt a small amount of joy seeing him react that way to Adrian. "You just disappeared on us," I replied, taking the spare seat next to him.

He lounged in his chair, throwing an arm around the back of mine. From the glint in his eye, he knew what he was doing to Dimitri. I smiled to myself, knowing we were playing a game.

"Yes, well, the Court called for me. But now I'm back, hoping to have some fun." He cocked his head, giving me his playboy grin that would make the girls swoon.

"What kind of fun are you looking for?"

"Would you two knock it off," Christian groaned from across the table, dragging a hand down his face, "I do not want to witness your sexual tension right now."

"Aww, is Sparky feeling frustrated?" I joked, causing a look of disdain from him and one of embarrassment from Lissa. I couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped.

Christian pointed at me, "You know nothing, Hathaway."

"Oh, trust me, I know way too much."

"Rose!" Lissa called out, the volume attracting the ire of the librarian.

I had to cover my mouth to contain the laughter. I turned to her and gave an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, he's just too much fun to tease."

Adrian, who had been laughing alongside me, stopped to study me, humming, "You seem better. The darkness has lessened." That drew the attention of the others at the table.

I eyed Sara for a second, trying to decide if she knew about spirit. Lissa, reading my silence, answered the question on my mind, "She knows about my magic."

With a nod, I hold out my hand with the ring on it, "It's a gift from Abe. He said it is infused with spirit. It helps heal the darkness."

Lissa reached across the table, hand lightly grasping mine, fingertip gliding across the ring. With a gasp, she pulled back, eyes wide, "That's amazing," She turned to Adrian, "I can feel spirit in it."

Adrian took my hand in his, holding it close to his face to inspect it, "That is interesting."

"So it's working?" I nodded at Lissa, causing her to smile, "That's great."

I went to reply, but my eyes caught Dimitri's. He was glaring at my hand that Adrian was still holding. I immediately removed my hand, folding them both on my lap. Adrian appeared confused at first, but one look at Dimitri and a grin broke out on his face. He leant down, placing his mouth near my ear, "What's wrong? Nervous around your boyfriend?"

I tried to keep my face blank, glancing around the table; no one had heard him. I faced him, speaking low, "Stop it."

He grinned, leaning back. I glare at him in response. Ignoring Adrian, I asked, "So what were you guys talking about?"

"Oh, that's right!" Lissa clasped her hands together, an excited smile on her face, "I got us permission for all of us to go shopping on Friday night. We leave after last period."

That explains the burst of excitement I kept feeling this afternoon. I looked at the boys at the table, "Are you coming too?"

"Why not. Maybe you could try on some dresses for me." Adrian mused, eyes running up and down my body.

"In your dreams." I shut him down. I knew it was all harmless flirting, but Dimitri wouldn't see it that way. The look in Adrian's eyes told me he was having too much fun.

We stayed in the library for a bit longer before deciding to call it a night. The Moroi's leaving to visit the feeders, and Eddie going to see another friend. And so there were two.

Dimitri was quiet, not a relaxed kind. His jaw set, eyes staring ahead. He was irritated.

Despite ignoring him, Adrian continued to flirt with me, no doubt looking for a reaction from Dimitri each time. While the others may think that Dimitri was unaffected, I could read him easily.

"You know he is only joking," I try to calm him down, only receiving silence in response, "Besides, I'm not interested in him at all."

I realise that I am hypocritically telling him not to worry about Adrian after the amount of grief I gave him about Anastasia. But the difference was that I knew Adrian was harmless, whereas I didn't know if she was.

"Come on, Dimitri, say something."

"There's nothing to say."

I rolled my eyes, "Fine."

We continued to walk in silence. I knew I wasn't going to get anything out of him out in public. I will wait until we reach my room and then remind him that he has nothing to be jealous about.

I pushed open my door, the sunrise already lighting the room up enough not to need a light. I have become accustomed to leaving my curtains open all the time now. Dimitri shuffled in after me closing the door after him. I dropped my bag on the ground then removed my blazer, laying it over the back of my chair.

Now away from prying eyes, Dimitri dropped his mask, eyes blazing, "I don't like him touching you."

"I know."

He paced my small room, "The way he looks at you!"

"He only does it because he knows it gets to you," I replied without thinking.

He froze midstep, "What?"

Oops. I let out a sigh, "He can read our auras. He knows that we have feelings for each other, but that's all. I haven't told him anything that has happened between us."

"He knows? Has he told anyone else?" He was concerned now, knowing that if our relationship were to get out, there was a strong possibility that we would be separated from one another.

I stepped towards him, resting my hands on his shoulders, "No, of course not," I could feel him calm at my touch and words, "Adrian would never tell anyone."

"When did he find out?"

"At the ski lodge, when you were ignoring me. He knew I was using him to make you jealous. But I promise there is nothing between us."

Dimitri sighed, leaning his forehead down to touch mine, "Okay."

"Okay?"

He pressed his lips against mine, "Okay, I trust you. I still don't like him."

"I know," I replied with a smile. I stood on my tiptoes to reach his lips again. I felt him lean against me, all his tension leaving his shoulders, getting lost in the moment.

The sound of my door rattling made us jump apart.

There, on the ground in front of my door, was a folded letter.

Dimitri was moving before I could even react. He threw open my door open and ran out into the hallway.

I stood in my room, eyeing the letter on the ground. I felt wary of it. I hadn't received one for a couple of days; I almost deluded myself into thinking they had stopped. Slowly I made my feet move to the doorway, crouching down to pick up the paper.

I couldn't bring myself to open it, instead moving to sit on my bed, contemplating at the paper between my hands.

"Dammit! I couldn't find anyone." I heard Dimitri storm back into my room, "I've called Petrov. They should be here soon. Rose?"

My eyes stayed locked on the paper. I heard him come closer to me, hands covering mine as he crouched before me. "I haven't read it yet."

"Do you want me to?" His voice was gentle and warm.

I took comfort in his presence. Reminding myself that with him, I can handle it. I won't be facing these letters alone anymore. With a steadying breath, I unfolded the paper.

When I get my hands on you, I'll make you wish you never came back!

I'll finish the job the guardians failed to do.

I heard Dimitri's sharp intake of breath followed by some words in Russian. I couldn't look away from the page. Rereading the words over and over again. The threats were always the same, but I am never prepared for reading them, knowing they were directed at me.

"Roza?"

A hand cupped my cheek, tilting my head up, dragging my eyes away from the words up to brown eyes. They were like swirls of chocolate, so warm and inviting. The corners of his eyes were pinched with concern. Concern for me.

"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

Promises can be broken.

The retort was on the tip of my tongue, but I chose to swallow it. I nodded my head, leaning it more into his hand. The moment ended with the sound of rushing footsteps. Dimitri stood up and away from me by the time Alberta and Stan appeared in my doorway, eyes searching.

"What happened?" Alberta took the lead, the command in her voice leaving no question about who the Head Guardian was.

Dimitri gently tugged to letter from my grasp and held it out to her, "I tried to find them but couldn't. Whoever it is was quick."

I was only vaguely listening to their conversation.

Some of the darkness was stirring up in me again. I could feel it clawing at my throat, almost begging me to react, making me curl my fist until my nails dug into my skin. But the moment before it could boil over, it eased, my clarity returned. I was still feeling panicked and fear, but it wasn't causing me to lash out or need to cut myself off from others.

I glanced down at the ring on my hand in awe. It worked.

Despite Adrian confirming it had healed some of the darkness from my aura, feeling it tame it was another matter. Dimitri was usually the one to help me fight the urges the darkness gave me, granted that took time to get through to me. Whereas the ring stopped it before it could start.

"Rose?"

The calling of my name made my attention snap back to the three guardian's before me, all watching me with mild concern.

"What did you say?"

Stan muttered under his breath, earning a look from Alberta, which shut him up. She turned back to me, "I asked if you feel safe here? If not, we can move you to the guest quarters again -"

"No," I quickly shot down that idea. I didn't want to go back there, "I like it here. I want to stay in my room."

Dimitri wanted to argue with me on it but knew better. Alberta also seemed ready to persuade me otherwise but thought better of it, "Okay, I'll see if I can't get some more security for the dorm. Find out who is getting up to this floor." Turning to Dimitri, "I want you to stay guard. Hopefully, they will slip up, and we can catch them when they deliver another note."

Stan appeared deep in thought, "Do you think it's a novice? Or a Moroi?"

"I don't know. Both students can find a way up here. Until we know more, we can't rule anyone out."

The three of them moved out into the hallway, continuing their discussion. I chose not to follow and listen, knowing Dimitri would tell me anything important.

I stood from my bed and shuffled around my room, preparing my gym bag for tomorrow and choosing clothes for bed tonight. I turned around at the sound of my door closing. Dimitri crossed my room in three long strides, looping his arms around and pressing me close against him. He needed this comfort, and I allowed him, taking some for myself, feeling safe with his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, Roza. If I had been quicker -"

I shook my head, "Don't blame yourself. In your defence, I was distracting you."

He sighed into my hair, "I need to be on alert. Until I find who is doing this, I can't…." He trailed off.

"I know," I leant back to see his face. He hated to put that restriction on us, but he needed to be focused, "I understand, it'll be okay."

He eyed me, doubtful. It brought a smile to my face.

"Okay fine, I'm going to hate it, but I understand why we have to limit the distractions ." I bit my lip, unsure to ask my next question, "Does that mean we can't sleep like we did last night?"

Dimitri's eyes widened for a second before he let out a groan, "I don't know. I want to."

"I mean if you are staying to guard me anyway, is it not easiest to keep an eye on me if you are right next to me." He smirked at my Rose logic, "Besides, you need to sleep too."

"I don't know."

I gaze up at him with what Lissa referred to as my puppy eyes, having used this very look to get many things that I want over the years. Dimitri tried to stay strong but gave in with a huff.

"Fine, but only sleeping." He warned. I pouted but accepted the win. He stepped away from me to shrug off his duster, laying it over my blazer. Taking that as a cue, I continued packing my gym bag.

"I'm assuming we are still doing training in the morning?" I asked, hopeful, missing it after the last few days of not having a session.

"I'll have to go by my room in the morning, but yes."

I grinned. Glancing over at Dimitri seated on my bed as he undid his laces, removing his boots. I loved how domestic this felt. I could almost pretend that this was an everyday occurrence, that this wasn't a secret moment I was only able to experience due to someone threatening my life.

Not allowing myself to overthink it, I distracted myself, "What did Alberta say?" I asked Dimitri, "Close your eyes," I added, shaking my pyjama shirt, so he understood why.

With a slight blush on his cheeks, Dimitri closed his eye and titled his head to the ceiling for good measure, "Just about possibly letting some other guardians know of the situation. Not all of it, but enough to know to be on the lookout."

I hummed, not really liking the idea, but more eyes are better. Once changed, I moved to be seated next to Dimitri; he opened his eyes to peer at me. I had released my hair from the bun, allowing it to flow down my back. His hand came up, finger curling around the loose strands.

"You're beautiful, Roza."

I smiled, feeling a warmth spread through me at his words, "You aren't too bad yourself." His replying smile made me feel like jelly. The knowledge that these smiles were rare to come by for others, reserved only for me. It made me grateful to have his love.

With a gentle peck to my forehead, Dimitri guided me down to lay back against my pillow, "Goodnight, Roza."

I allowed myself to be pulled under by sleep, the images of being held in his arms keeping me safe through the night.

"I'm going to tell her everything," I told Dimitri as we walked across the campus from the gym. His step faltered for a second. He glanced at me, eyebrow raised.

"Everything?"

I blushed, knowing what he was referring to, "No, not that… yet," I replied. A big part of me wanted to tell Lissa about my relationship with the Russian god next to me. But I was still held back by concerns as to how she would take it. Not only is he my teacher and older, but we had been together when I was still seventeen.

I will never regret what I have shared with Dimitri, nor would I let others tell me it's wrong. But I didn't want to hear Lissa telling me that our love was wrong. So I have held myself back.

"I meant everything about the letters and stuff. Explain why I was suddenly ignoring them last week," Guilt flooded my body. I had cut everyone off and tried to hurt Dimitri with my words, insulting his feelings for me.

"Hey," Dimitri caught my elbow, forcing me to stop, "That wasn't your fault, Rose. You were scared. Lissa will understand."

"Doesn't change the fact I broke my promise to the both of you."

"You are letting us in now. That's all that matters." He told me. Unable to hold me close while still in public, he instead put all of his affection in his expression, eyes only for me.

A small smile broke out on my face, "Thank you, Dimitri."

He nodded, "Come on, Lissa is waiting for you."

I followed after him, his words having comforted me. I could only hope that Lissa will be as understanding.

During lunch, Lissa and I had agreed on tonight being a small girls night. A combination of studying, gossiping and catching up. I could feel through the bond the excitement pulsating from her. She tried to not let on how much my death and turning had affected her; this night was just as much for her as it was for me.

Lissa had yet to be assigned a new roommate after Natalie, so we had the room to ourselves. Dimitri had first offered to wait in the hallway, but both Lissa and I insisted that he just come into the room. I was glad that Lissa had encouraged him in as well. I needed his strength not to chicken out tonight.

Lissa had gone all out for tonight, a collection of snacks and drinks, a couple of movies and even some pampering choices.

"Something tells me we won't be studying much tonight," I commented, taking in the spread before me.

Lissa rolled her eyes, "When do we ever actually study Rose?"

I grinned. She had a point. I picked up a can of soft drink and a handful of chips. Training always works up my appetite, so I was more than happy to indulge in the selection of junk food. I glanced over my shoulder at Dimitri; he was perched in a chair in the corner of the room. He had a perfect view of all the exits and was still close enough to us to react if needed. Having planned ahead, he had one of his westerns in hand, retrieving it from the deep pockets of his duster. I couldn't help but wonder if he always kept one with him.

"Want anything, comrade?"

"Oh, would you like a drink, Dimitri?"

With both sets of eyes on him, he gave in to the pressure, "Water would be fine."

I laughed at the idea of Dimitri acting like a polite house guest. I picked up a bottle of water and threw it across the room to him. He easily caught it with a nod in thanks.

"So, what do you want to do first?" Lissa asked, practically bouncing in her spot on the ground. We both were cross-legged on the carpet, the coffee table between that Lissa had laid out. Dragging my eyes across the table, settling on the bottles of nail polish.

"How about I paint your nails?" I knew that I should just come out and tell her everything, but I didn't feel ready yet. Hoping that with something to focus on, it will be easy to get out.

Lissa chose a colour, and I set about prepping her nails. We had both become accomplished at giving each other manicures, having done this throughout the years. With me constantly chipping nails from training, Lissa had become the saver of my hands.

I could feel Dimitri's eyes flick to me occasionally. He wasn't pressuring me to speak, more waiting for when I was ready. He was aware I needed him for this as well. I could also feel Lissa's eyes on me, feel her growing need to ask a question through the bond.

I glanced up at her through my lashes; she was chewing on her lips, "What?" I asked.

I watched her weigh her options before speaking, "Can I ask about last week?"

I continued to paint her nail, acting unaffected, but inside I was a combination of apprehension and relief, the latter because she had brought it up first rather than me trying to work up the courage. "There is something I need to tell you about last week that I really should have mentioned before." I started.

A spike of fear came through the bond.

I brought my eyes up to hers, pleading, "Please don't be mad that I didn't tell you sooner."

I told her about the letters, my theory about someone using magic against me, and finally about the darkness and how it affected me. Dimitri remained silent throughout, though I would find his eyes on me when I glanced at him. Reminding me, he was with me no matter what.

I ended the story with last night's letter.

Lissa stared at me wide-eyed. She asked a question a couple of times but otherwise had been silent. The bond jumped from one emotion to the next, not settling enough for me to really focus on what she was feeling. Then towards the end, I felt her barriers coming up to keep me out. It made me panic.

"Please, Lissa, don't lock me out," I begged. I couldn't lose her now, "I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to handle it all and panicked. Please don't hate me!"

Her wall suddenly fell, allowing the bond to flow freely again. Hurt, concern, fear, relief, irritation, and a combination of other emotions hit me. It took me a second to sort through them to realise that there was no hate in there.

"Rose, I could never hate you," Lissa exclaimed. She shuffled from her spot to be next to me, throwing her arms around me, "I didn't mean to make you think that. I was just trying to process everything."

"I'm sorry," I looped my arms around her, returning her embrace.

"I know. I wish you would have told me so I could have helped, but I understand."

I pulled back to see her eyes, her expression and the bond confirming she did. "I'm doing much better now." I comforted her.

She nodded with a smile, "I can tell. I'm glad that Dimitri was able to help you." She told me in a low voice, making me blush. I had mentioned him finding me in the storage room and informing Abe about the darkness, leaving out the details of our conversations and him sleeping in my bed. She was aware now of him staying with me day and night but no doubt assuming that it was strictly professional.

"Yeah," I replied, unable to look at the said man.

"So you have no idea who is doing it?" Lissa asked, looking between Dimitri and me.

Now being included in the conversation, Dimitri replied, "Not currently."

Not knowing was stressing Dimitri. He was feeling like he was failing me, making my heart clench, "It's not your fault Dimitri. There's a lot of people at this school, and it could be anyone." I tried to comfort him, not wanting him to blame himself.

"I'm just glad she has you watching after her," Lissa told him with a bright smile, "Means I won't be worrying all the time." She turned her attention back to me, "Who else knows?"

"No one other than Alberta and a couple of guardians. And now you." I replied.

"Best not to tell anyone else for now," Dimitri told her. She quickly nodded her head.

Lissa squeezed my shoulders. I felt her determination through the bond; she would do everything she could to ensure I wasn't hurt again.

I don't know how I got so lucky to have these two people in my life, but I was thankful every day for them.