Punchnose

It was a small, stuffy office inside Gringotts.

Harry asked Punchnose, "When will I have access to my parents' other vaults, besides my trust vault?"

Punchnose looked up from the ledger with a raised eyebrow, and replied, "Here, now, Mr. Potter, what do you mean, 'trust vault?'"

"Well, I heard my friend Neville say that he had a trust vault, and that his family also had other vaults. I thought that all the old wizarding families had that."

"I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you," said Punchnose, "but your assumption (while somewhat common among the muggle-raised, and some derivative fictions) is woefully incorrect. Your Potter ancestors were only modestly comfortable, not rich; and that one vault is it, I'm afraid."

"Oh dear – I was hoping that there were properties, heirlooms, libraries, fortunes..."

"I'll tell you what," said Punchnose, leaning forward conspiratorially, "perhaps you do descend from other wizarding families that left no recognized heirs, but whose vaults you can claim. It will require a simple blood test. (For a small fee, of course.)"

"What do I have to do – slash my palm with a dagger, and drip blood into a ritual bowl?"

"Goodness, no, Mr. Potter; where do you young wizards get these notions?" the goblin chuckled. He took out a small metal tray with several items on it. "Here: swab your finger with the alcohol rub in this little packet; then use this little disposable plastic lancing device to prick the finger; then smear some blood on this glass slide; then use the alcohol rub on your finger again, and then put the plaster on the finger. You may remove it after half an hour or so."

"How surprisingly mundane," Harry muttered as he followed the tasks. "Now what?"

Punchnose pressed a little button on the side of his desk. "Now we wait for the lab report." Another goblin entered, took the slide, and silently left. Punchnose busied himself with some paperwork, while Harry sat and drummed his fingers on his leg. After ten minutes, the other goblin came back, carrying – of all things – a paper computer printout.

Punchnose studied it for a while, grinned widely, and then said, "Great news, Mr. Potter! You are the descendant of four noble and two royal families, and you are now the wealthiest wizard in Britain!"

Harry's eyes lit up: "Really?"

Punchnose smirked: "No, sorry, only kidding; just the one vault. No nobles or kings."

Harry stood angrily, balling his fist and barely restraining himself. "So this is how you got the name!"

Scowling, the goblin replied sourly, "Yes, I'm afraid so; sorry!", though he didn't sound a bit sorry.

Not wishing to be arrested for assault and face goblin law, Harry left without another word.