Hi. My name is Trixie. Well, it's really Beatrice, but everybody calls me Trixie. Trixie Espinoza is my name. This is my first eighth grade home room assignment, which is to tell everybody about who I am. I'm recording this so I can edit in pictures for the final version. I mean, why not? There are some advantages to distance learning and Zoom classes, right?

Okay. About me. I'm thirteen years old. Born in March, which makes me a Pisces if you believe in Astrology, which I definitely don't. I was born in Santa Monica, which is a suburb on the West Side of Los Angeles. Los Angeles means "The Angels" in Spanish, so sometimes LA is called the City of Angels. But now I live with my mom in Venice, which is another LA suburb near Santa Monica. It's really neat here. We have canals right by our front door, and the beach is just a few minutes away. I like it!

Here's a picture of Mom, in her police uniform. She how serious she looks? She is mostly always serious. Except recently, because of Lucifer. But for most of my life she's been serious about everything. She loves me, don't get me wrong. And we hug and cuddle and tell each other stuff. But she's still pretty serious, especially about her police work, which is all about catching really bad people and arresting them.

Mom used to have a roommate, Maze. But Maze moved out and I don't see her too much anymore. Which makes me sad because Maze was cool. She used to teach me how to use knives. Not like a chef, though. Like a ninja. Mom used to say that Maze was a ninja. But when I first met her, she was a bartender at Lucifer's bar, which is called "Lux." Anyway, Maze moved out and now she lives with Eve, who used to be Lucifer's girlfriend but now I think is Maze's girlfriend. So now Mom and I live alone.

I'd put in a picture of Maze here, but she doesn't like it when people take pictures of her. So here's a picture of one of the paper training knives we made when I was eight. Aren't they cool AF? They almost don't look like they're knives but, trust me, Maze's knives are super sharp, even if they are weird-looking. That's why I had to use paper ones for training.

My dad is dead. It happened last year, and it's still kind of hard for me to talk about. Mom and Dad were cops. You know, police officers. Only they weren't police officers like you're maybe thinking. They were detectives, which is like a different type of police officer. Not the ticket-writing kind. More like the CSI kind. Mom and Dad got divorced a few years ago, but they didn't hate each other or anything. We would still get together sometimes. But then Dad died when some people shot him. There were a lot of police officers at his funeral and they shot some guns in the air. Which, to be honest, just scared me. I could have done without that part.

Here's a picture of my dad. And here's a picture of the three of us from a camping trip we went on when I was six.

Now it's just Mom and me. And Lucifer. Any my Nana, who is some kind of movie star. I've been spending a lot of time with Nana in her beach house, because Mom has been spending a lot of time with Lucifer. Nana is great! She dresses me up and takes me shopping and we go out to eat at fancy restaurants. Sometimes people come up to us, total strangers, and they ask for her autograph or say how much they liked an old movie she was in. You know, I've seen some of Nana's movies on the internet and I'm not sure what made them so great. I thought they were mostly boring, with really bad CGI. But still, Nana is fun and it's fun to see her smile when somebody asks for her autograph. She never says no to her fans.

Here's a picture of Nana. She says it's a "headshot," whatever that means. It's kind of old but, when I asked for a picture, that's what she gave me. Isn't she pretty?

I said Mom was a detective but she quit a few months ago, just a few weeks after Daddy died. She wouldn't really tell me why. She and Lucifer had been going through a "rough patch," I think she called it, and it was making her sad. Then they got back together and she was happy again. I think they're in love. Anyway, just after that she quit and now she says she works for Lucifer. She says she's his consultant, which is funny because Lucifer used to be her consultant when she was a detective. Anyway, she and Lucifer spend all their time together, so I spend a lot of time with Nana.

They don't want me to know this but I know they're having sex together. They sneak around and whisper to each other, so they think they're hiding it from me. Really! I'm not a kid anymore! Mom can't hide how happy she is these days. She's never laughed this much, ever! And it's like they literally can't keep their hands off of each other. You'd have to be an idiot not to see what's going on. But I pretend I don't see, because I don't want them to be uncomfortable about it.

Grown-ups can be so weird about sex.

I'll tell you all that, sooner or later, Mom and Lucifer and I, we're going to have to have a frank discussion about all this sneaking around they're doing. I get it! They're in love and they have sex and they think I'm too young to deal with everything, but I'm thirteen now and I have the internet and YouTube, and they probably will be shocked to learn that I'm not shocked or weirded-out by their sex life. I mean, I don't want to be wakened-up in the night by it but, other than that, it's okay. I understand. Now I have to get them to understand it's okay for them to have sex while I'm in the same house as them. No more pretending!

Then I won't have to spend so many nights with Nana.

Now I want to talk about Lucifer, who I think is Mom's boyfriend but it might be more than that. I mean, he gave her a ring. That means more, right? But it's kinda hard to figure it out because it's not a diamond; it's just a plain black stone. But she wears it on her ring finger, so it has to mean more, right?

Here's a picture of Lucifer playing the piano. He plays the piano really well, and sings, too. I don't know how to play the piano, but I hope he'll teach me one day.

I've known Lucifer for about five years now. He's the funniest man I've ever met! He says the weirdest things! But it doesn't matter what he says because I know he really cares about Mom, and he cares about me too. We have game nights once a week—or, we try to, because sometimes they get interrupted if there's something going on. Anyway, we have game nights and Mom and Lucifer drink wine and try to pretend they're not having sex while we play games and laugh. We play Monopoly a lot, which is funny because, in real life, Lucifer is really rich and owns a lot of different properties; that's what Mom says. But he doesn't play Monopoly well. He always buys every property he lands on and runs out of money, and then he looks surprised when he doesn't have any more and can't pay his rent when he lands on somebody else's property. Every time! It's like he expects more money to just appear, but Mom runs the bank and makes him play by the rules. He never learns! So usually he goes out first and then rubs Mom's back while she and I duel it out.

After a few minutes of Lucifer rubbing Mom's back, she mostly always decides to concede the game. Then she tells me it's time for bed. I know it's so she and Lucifer can be alone. Anyway, that's how I mostly always win at Monopoly on game nights.

Did I mention Lucifer is rich? He is. He owns Lux and he has this amazing apartment on the top floor with beautiful views of downtown LA. Plus he owns other places, too. I've never been to any of them, but that's what Mom says. I'm going to have to ask Lucifer for a tour one day soon. If Mom and Lucifer are going to get married, then I think we'll all need to live together. His Lux apartment won't be big enough for all of us. Only one bedroom, for one thing. And that bedroom doesn't even have a door! Ugh. That's not going to work for us, especially if they're having sex all the time.

What else can I say about me? I like chocolate cake, that's one thing. And I have a bank account that Mom doesn't know about. I got Dad to open it for me, just our little secret. And I've been putting money away for a couple of years now; I have almost one thousand dollars. I don't know what I'm going to do with it. Maybe buy a car like Lucifer's one day? I don't know. But it's mine and Mom doesn't know about it.

I guess if we ever run out of money then I'll use it to help Mom out. But if she and Lucifer get married, I don't think that will ever be a problem.

What do I want to do when I grow up? I'm not sure. I might want to be a police officer, like my Mom and Dad were. Like my Grandpa was. But that's kind of dangerous, right? So I'm not sure. I think I'll ask Lucifer for a job at Lux. How old do you have to be to be a bartender? Maze was a bartender there; I'll ask her about it.

Another thing I can do is babysit. Lucifer's brother, Amenadiel, had a baby with Doctor Linda. The baby's name is Charlie. They are always looking for a babysitter, and they pay me good money to watch Charlie and make sure he doesn't hurt himself. A lot of my savings came from babysitting Charlie.

Hey! If Mom and Lucifer do get married, then Amenadiel will be my uncle! Sort of, I guess. But if he's Lucifer's brother then he will be my uncle and Charlie will be my cousin. That's cool! I don't have a lot of relatives and it will be nice to have more.

To be honest, I'm not sure what I want to do yet. Things have changed so much in the past couple of years, I don't know how much I want to plan for the future. Whatever I think will happen, it probably won't work out that way. I'm not really sure what it will be like living with Lucifer as my step-dad. He and Mom are so different that way! She wants me to follow all the rules and do the right things, but he wants me to do what I want to do and do what makes me happy. I think if they do get married and we all live together, then they're probably going to fight about how to raise me.

I'll predict right now that if they fight about how to raise me, then Mom will win. She always wins every fight with Lucifer. It may take him a while, but he always agrees with her in the end. It's like she's a rock and he can't move her. So I guess I better try to do the right thing, like making sure I do all my homework and study for tests.

So that's me, Trixie Espinoza, age thirteen. Daughter of Chloe Decker, former Detective. Maybe soon-to-be step-daughter of Lucifer Morningstar, nightclub owner and the funniest person in the world.

I feel like I should say more but, honestly, I don't really know what else to say. It's like my life has been leading to this point, but the future can go in a million different ways. All I can do is go along for the ride.