The Day After Mardi Gras Sucks

Tai drummed his pencil against his notebook and sighed. He glared at the paper, as if it were responsible for his assignment. Essays were easy for Amy and Kari, but his thoughts were like flying tennis balls, chaotic and bouncing about so much that they lost their momentum. He released a breath in a huff that sounded remarkably like a horse's snort.

Matt was in Tai's class, so he swiveled his desk chair around to ask how he was faring with his essay. Matt lay on his bed, eyes closed, motionless. His expensive headphones cupped his ears, and he smiled serenely, nodding to the music.

What the hell? When he wasn't in his stage persona, Matt dwelled in the background, quietly observing the world. He often didn't speak unless spoken to, except when irritated, or to make the occasional sarcastic comment. And he definitely didn't go around smiling like a teenage girl with a new Prada bag. Was it Prada? Tai could never remember that kind of thing.

"What the hell, Matt. Did the girl-fit jeans store announce a sale?" Tai didn't realize he said something funny until it was out of his mouth, and he laughed with genuine amusement at his own joke.

"Piss off," Matt replied- but he laughed. He sat up, removed his headphones, and tilted his head, inviting Tai to clarify.

This is getting weirder by the second. "I think there's a phrase for this," Tai said, frowning as he tried to recall it. "You're, uh, glowing. Something good happen?"

Matt snorted and started laughing again, and Tai rolled his chair back, unable to understand his amusement. "You usually say that to pregnant women," Matt explained when he recovered. "But, anyway, yeah-"

But he abruptly broke off, and the animation wiped clean from his expression. He paled as he toyed with the headphones around his neck. Tai was hopelessly lost. Matt was acting moodier than Amy did when riding the USS PMS.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Anxiety was uncommon for Tai, but then, he trusted Matt to have his back. His confidence was influenced by the belief that he could always count on his best friend, and Matt seemed kind of… manic. He was the sensible half of their team (when he wasn't riding some intense emotion, at least), so that was bad news.

"I have to tell you something." And suddenly, he was the same old Matt that Tai knew. His gaze was wary, his tone serious- but the nerves in his voice and body language were strange. Something drastic must have gone down to put him in this state. But then, why the joy earlier?

"You're confusing the hell out of me." Tai sat beside Matt on his bed and placed a hand on his shoulder. He got more information out of physical contact than words and visual cues, and the tenseness of Matt's body worried him. "You okay?"

"I'm great, actually. I just… A few days ago…" Matt hesitated, and Tai was unable to stomach his indecision. And, of course, there was his patented impatience to consider.

"Whatever you're trying to say, just say it already!" Tai shook Matt's shoulder, and he swayed with the force. As usual, he underestimated his own strength, but Matt didn't react. His face was drawn and strained, but strangely determined. It was the look of someone who knew there was reason to worry, but would push on, regardless.

"Tai… Sora and I are a couple."

The words were gibberish. Tai's brain held them back like an archer holding the straining string of a bow, trying to delay that deadly moment when his fingers slipped and the arrow flew. But he was no coward, and he could only hide for so long, even subconsciously. Matt's statement infiltrated his filters, worked its way to his core. Tai stared stupidly at him, too shocked to do more.

"You're the first person I've told," Matt continued, his hands clenched hard. "I'm sorry."

Tai snorted and crossed his arms, trying desperately to control the disappointment and anger rioting within him. "Hey. The winning team doesn't apologize after the game." He clapped Matt on the back, perhaps just a bit harder than he might have under different circumstances. "I'd say I'm happy for you, but... That's going to take some time." He held his hand out to Matt, trying to convey that there were no hard feelings. Which was an implicit lie, as there were, but he knew they would fade.

Eventually.

Matt's eyes widened, and Tai suspected he was surprised at how well he was taking this. Truthfully, deep down, Tai had expected it. From the beginning, Sora's interest in Matt was obvious, despite Tai's efforts to ignore it. He was more prepared for this than he cared to admit.

"I understand." Matt grasped his hand and shook. "Don't take this the wrong way, but… I really appreciate how well you're taking this."

Tai shrugged and broke Matt's earnest eye contact. The longer this encounter stretched on, the more unbearable his emotions grew, like a storm building in a small space and pushing out. "Whatever. We all have to grow up eventually, I guess." He forced a grin that was even more painful to create than to behold. "But maybe not today. Adam's hosting another party. I'm gonna kill some time with a run and head over."

Matt scowled, more worried than annoyed. "It's a weeknight. Don't go crazy." Something about the way Matt's eyes narrowed warned Tai that he saw through his brave front. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I've felt better," Tai allowed. "But I'll live." He stood and shoved his feet into the pair of running shoes thrown into the corner of the room, offering evasive replies to the rest of Matt's concerned inquiries.

The damned essay can wait, he thought as he fled the dorm.

XXX

Tai was usually at his most affable at parties, making jokes and easing into conversations like a pro, commanding attention with his antics and energy. But tonight, he was surly and taciturn. He lurked in the corner of the living room in Adam's frat house, drinking one hundred proof rum and glowering at the bopping mass of partygoers. He brushed off the few people who dared disturb his sulk.

Tai was furious with himself. He wanted to be mad at Matt, who always seemed to get what he wanted, and often at the expense of other boys, if unintentionally (which was rubbish; family-related desires went unanswered for Matt, and Tai damned well knew it). But the truth was that Matt did exactly what Tai did; tried to impress a girl. That he succeeded was no reason to hate him. Even Tai, hardheaded as he often was, could see that.

No, the only target here was himself.

Giving it serious thought, Tai suspected that Sora never even noticed his interest. Most of their time together was either initiated by open invitations Sora made to their group or casual sports activities. The dates that Matt took her on from the beginning never happened between the two of them, because Tai never asked. He was too fascinated with Sora's athletic abilities and too in awe of her beauty and kindness to think things through. He fixated on opportunities to watch her move, so lost in his attraction that he failed to make his interest known.

Kari and Amy would freak if they knew how focused I was on Sora's... He grimaced and tried to phrase the thought more politely. If they knew how physical my attraction to Sora was. And, the sad part was, despite the fact that he still only had a new friend's understanding of Sora's personality, the loss ached.

Tai lost girls to Matt before. Well, more accurately, the female students at his school were devoted to Matt and his bandmates, so it was difficult to draw their attention. But this scenario with Sora hurt the most by far. He wanted this horrible envy and mourning gone, and the sooner, the better.

He downed the remaining contents of his red plastic cup in one long swill.

In the future, I'll be better with girls. I'll get my head out of the gutter and in the game. And I'll be more careful with my own feelings. But tonight... Tonight is my Mardi Gras. I'll be as reckless and immature as I want.

Tai would later discover that this thought was the last thing he remembered about the party.

XXX

Izzy was sleeping when a piercing sound thrust him rudely into the waking world. He sat straight up in bed, covered his ears, and grunted, too disoriented to be more coherent.

"Get up!" Izzy head turned towards Joe's voice, but the room was pitch black- until the lights switched on. Izzy groaned and shut his eyes.

"Izzy!" Joe shouted, shrill with his effort to be heard over the wailing from the hallway. "That's the fire alarm, come on!"

"I know," Izzy muttered automatically, although he was just now waking up enough to make sense of things. He threw his legs over the side of his bed and stepped down. Joe tapped his foot impatiently, eyes wide and nervous.

Izzy glanced at Joe. "You'll be wanting more than shoes. It's three AM in October." He staggered to his dresser, slow with the remnants of sleep, and tugged a drawer open. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants that he had never worn; there weren't his style, even while relaxing alone. But they were loose enough to pull over his cotton shorts, so on they went. Then he groped for his green fleece pullover, shoved his feet into shoes, and grabbed a coat. By the time he was ready, Joe had donned more clothing, too.

They slipped into the hallway and down the stairs, joining the crowd of students in various levels of disarray and alertness. There was a lot of disgusted cursing involved. Joe's quick stride and constant glancing about indicated that he was worried, but Izzy knew the odds of an actual emergency were low. It was much more likely that someone drunkenly fell against the fire alarm, or some obnoxious variation of that theme. He was much more annoyed than concerned.

Soon they were outside, standing some distance from the dorm, caught in the middle of a chattering crowd of students in pajamas. Izzy shivered and wrapped his arms around himself, grateful that he put on extra clothing. The nip of October days was a bone-biting cold at night.

"There she is," Joe sighed, gooey with relief. Izzy tried to see what caught Joe's eye, but he was too short to look over the throng of disgruntled students. He followed Joe further into the crowd, trotting in the spaces he created.

Mimi appeared before them, huddled with Amy. "Oh, you're too cold to help!" she whined, even as she squished her.

"M-m-men are warmer than w-women," Amy chattered. "You're cold, too."

Sora and Matt were embracing, and Izzy's brow rose. It appeared that the tension between them, which was sufficiently strong for him to notice, had resolved into something more defined. Either that, or they were flirting shamelessly. Sora shivered, and Matt sighed and somehow drew her closer.

"Some ass leaves his Poptart in the toaster for too long, and we all end up outside in the middle of the night," Matt muttered. "Stay classy, college." Sora laughed, her voice hitching as she shuddered.

Joe called Mimi, and she looked up, smiled, and broke away from Amy. "Joeeee," she sang, holding her arms out. "I'm so cold. Let me in your coat." Without waiting for a response, she unzipped his coat, stepped inside, and wrapped her arms around him.

"Did you neglect to mention something to me?" Izzy whispered. Joe waved a hand, signaling that he did not want to bothered. Either way, the evidence seemed conclusive; Joe and Mimi had advanced their slow, trepid relationship.

Amy stared dolefully at Mimi's back. She turned to Matt, rubbing her upper arms for warmth. "Where the h-heck is Tai?"

Matt lifted his face from Sora's cheek, looking annoyed. But, unless Izzy was mistaken, his irritation seemed forced- although he couldn't hope to guess why.

"At a party," Matt supplied. Then he buried his face right back where it was before.

"A p-party? At this hour? It's after three AM. On a W-Wednesday. Well, Thursday." Amy shifted her glance and sighed- and her eyes landed on him. "Oh! H-hi Izzy." Her lips twitched into a smile, but it morphed into a grimace as her teeth clacked.

Izzy elbowed through the crowd to approach her. Something nudged his ankle as he passed Joe, and he looked down to see Mimi's shoe extended towards him. She stared at him and tilted her head towards Amy. Help a girl out, her expression seemed to say. Her smile went wicked as she rested her cheek against Joe's chest. Izzy willed himself not to react, to keep his expression passive.

I don't see why this is deteriorating into some kind of...cuddling party, Izzy thought tartly. Can't these people keep their relationships discreet? There are other ways to warm a woman.

Once he was beside Amy, he began removing his coat. Amy tipped her head, watching him. He wordlessly handed it over. Cold air infiltrated his pullover, but he managed to ward off the urge to shudder.

Amy's expression softened, but she made no move to accept his offering. "Izzy... That's so... T-thank you. But I can't get your coat over mine."

Ah. Yes, I'm an idiot. Izzy nodded sheepishly and put his coat back on, grateful that the warmth in the fabric hadn't dissipated. He shifted uncomfortably. "I don't suppose there's something else I could do for you." It sounded more like a statement than a question, which made him seem standoffish, as if he wanted to hear a no. That familiar frustration with his lack of social polish rose, and his gaze plummeted to the ground, as if that would make him less visible.

"Oh my God!" Mimi cried. "Just hug her, this is painful!"

Izzy's eye twitched. He willed himself to pretend that he heard nothing, but his embarrassment and annoyance pushed him to lash out, to defend himself with a little vitriol thrown in for good measure. He remembered how Ryo Hiraki identified his defensiveness as a sign that he was interested in Amy, and that kept him quiet. The last thing he needed was someone else saying something similar.

"I'm fine," Amy began. A cheerful tune sounded, and she pulled her cellphone out of her pocket. "Hold on- Tai! Why are you still out? Is something wrong?"

Curious, Izzy slipped closer, tipping his head towards the phone. An unknown voice replied, "Hey. Sorry, I know this is random, but... It's Adam."

Shuddering, Amy wrapped her arm around Izzy's waist and tugged him against her. Discomfort reared, as he didn't care for public displays of affection, but Izzy couldn't seem to pull away. Amy didn't notice his stiffness; her attention was riveted on the call. "Uh, hi, Adam? Why are you calling from Tai's number?"

An exhausted sigh created static through the receiver. "Because he's too damned drunk to walk straight. Can you get Matt? I tried him already, but it went to voicemail."

Amy went rigid, and Izzy patted her back, hoping to comfort. Tai enjoyed parties, but he seemed sensible about it, more or less. So why the weeknight binging?

"Matt must have left his phone in his room. There's a fire- well, probably a false alarm... Hold on a sec." She lowered the phone and turned. "Matt, Tai's at a frat party with Adam. He's too drunk to get home."

Izzy stared, baffled, as guilt overwhelmed Matt's face. He released Sora and extended a hand to Amy, who gave him her phone. Matt greeted Adam and began making arrangements to get Tai home. This wasn't of interest to Izzy, so he returned his attention to Amy.

"Do you think something's wrong? I know Tai is laid back, but I'm surprised to hear that he's too inebriated to function in the middle of the week."

Amy huddled into him, but her eyes were on Matt. "Well… I think Matt and Sora just got together, and..." She hesitated and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Don't tell anyone, but… Tai likes her."

Ah, well. Romantic drama. Common among college students. "I see. I'm sorry to hear that." And he was. Although their relationship had rocky beginnings, Izzy couldn't dislike Tai. In fact, he liked him, although Tai's tendency to stick his nose in his business made him reluctant to admit it. Izzy enjoyed Tai's light-hearted antics and respected his ability to casually accept everyone. Tai felt genuine compassion for people, although it was buried beneath a veneer of bravado. There was a lot to admire there, but also a lot that tested Izzy's patience.

Amy finally noticed that they had joined the throng of couples huddled together like motley penguins. Her fingers gripped the back of his coat. "Did I- I'm sorry-" She eased back, but, throwing his pride to the wind, Izzy held on to her. He was warmer, and he couldn't leave her cold when it was in his power to help.

"There's no sense in us being cold when we could easily be warm. Assuming you're comfortable, of course." Izzy suddenly realized the folly of exerting physical force on her and slackened his grip. "It's your choice," he emphasized.

Amy hesitated, processing. Then she tightened her hold, leaning down to combat their difference in height. "Well, you are nice and warm. And... I could use... I'm worried about Tai." Somehow, huddling for warmth morphed into an embrace, and his cheek was pressed against her clavicle. There was a faint pounding sound, and Izzy shifted his cheek towards the source. His breath caught when he identified it as her heartbeat, working fast and hard. A corner of his mind, some bold, previously unexplored region of that incomparable gray matter, suggested that he plumb this reaction, that he experiment. Could he say or do something to make her heart rate accelerate further? Or was this phenomenon unrelated to him?

But before he could make up his mind, Matt approached, holding out Amy's phone. Those piercing blue eyes moved from Amy's face to Izzy's, then narrowed. Izzy pulled back from Amy, but didn't release her. He tried not to scowl. This was why he preferred discretion. "I'm going to pick up Tai. Adam and I should be able to haul his ass into an after-hours shuttle."

Amy nodded and slipped her phone back into her pocket. "Alright, then I'll take care of him tonight. If Sora's okay with it, you can take my bed."

Matt hesitated, running his fingers through his hair. "Are you sure? Adam said he's in an angry-drunk mood. Apparently he's... Well, not himself. You know how much alcohol it takes to get him that way. He's going to puke his guts out."

Izzy grimaced. Now there's a visual…

Amy sighed. "Don't take this the wrong way, but it's probably better for an uninvolved party to take care of Tai tonight."

Matt tilted his head and made a hedging sound. "You're right," he allowed. "But... I'm worried. I know it's Tai, but I don't like shutting you in with an angry drunk."

Izzy frowned. He was inclined to trust Matt's judgment, but Amy tensed in his arms. "Tai would never hurt me."

"I know he wouldn't knowingly." Matt hesitated, as if torn between needing to say more, and not wanting to upset her. "But… Are you sure you can count on him behaving normally?"

"I'll stay with you," Izzy offered, hoping his reluctance wasn't obvious. He had no desire to be around Tai when he was furious again, but imagining Amy in that scenario was even worse.

Amy huffed. "So he'll snarl and puke. Won't be the first time, won't be the last. Just let me find a bucket and some plastic bags..." She glanced over her shoulder at the dorm building, where kids were finally being allowed readmission.

Matt caught Izzy's eye and shook his head. She can be oblivious, he seemed to suggest. "Alright. But call me if you need me. Promise me."

"Alright," Amy said, a little crossly. Matt nodded, patted her shoulder, said goodbye to Sora, and headed into the night.

"You can call me, as well." Izzy averted his gaze. He didn't want her to sense his hesitance- or, more importantly, his embarrassment.

Izzy made the offer out of kindness and care, but Amy stiffened and pulled back. "You, too? Look, I know… I've seen Tai… Well, get into fights." She swallowed hard. "And… Well, he did give you those bruises. But he won't hurt his sisters."

Izzy almost pointed out that she and Tai weren't siblings, but he had already swallowed one foot. He had best retain the other. Sometimes it was best to just humor your conversation partner. "Regardless, it's possible that you might need help. Please don't hesitate to contact me."

"Izzy…" He tried to keep his expression neutral. The warmth in Amy's voice made him want to smile like an imbecile, and he was determined not to do so. "Your concern… Itmeansalottomethankyou." She colored and looked away, likely embarrassed by the way her words tumbled together. Izzy knew he should respond, but all he managed was a nod. Frustration spiked; sometimes he spoke far more than usual around Amy, and sometimes she rendered him mysteriously mute.

She hugged him hard, and the contact emphasized the beating of her heart. It pounded into him, until he confused its rhythm for that of his own. And suddenly, it felt like there was something he desperately needed to tell her.

But Amy said good night and slipped away, hurrying to the dorm. Izzy stared after her and released his breath in a slow, strained sigh.

XXX

Amy taped a triple layer of plastic bags to the mouth of a bucket and was nodding off beside it when Matt entered his room, half-hauling Tai. She wrinkled her nose. Tai looked awful, and smelled even worse. His hair was tousled, and there was a blueish tint to his skin. As for the odor, well: stale beer, sweat, and dude funk.

"Morning, sunshine!" Amy chirped, forcing a smile. Tai grunted, but didn't even bother looking at her. She hopped off his bed, and Matt lowered him onto the vacated space.

"Let go," Tai growled, but his words were so slurred that Amy was guessing at the content. Frowning, Matt obeyed. Tai landed on the mattress with a heavy fwump and expressed his disapproval with scorching profanity.

"Oh, my." Amy's eyes popped at a particularly impressive bit of invective.

Matt sighed, stretching his neck. "Damn, he's heavy. Now... Last chance to bail, Amy. He put up one hell of a fight before I got him back. Luckily, he's too drunk to throw a decent punch."

Amy whirled around to face Matt. "Are you hurt?!"

Matt sighed and crossed his arms. "It's just a bruise." They stared each other down, but Amy won, as she always did when injuries were involved. Matt tsked and lifted his shirt. There was a fist-sized red mark near his left clavicle, which would become a nasty bruise in a few hours.

Amy scooted towards him, skidding over the tile floor in her haste. She examined the wound, but it was just a contusion. Painful, but not an emergency. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do for it."

Matt dropped his shirt and shrugged- then winced. "Not your fault." His gaze drifted to Tai's reclining figure. "The good news is, I think our little fight ate up his energy. He'll probably fall right to sleep. We should try to get some water in him first, though."

"Right." Amy grabbed one of Tai's enormous water bottles for working out from his mini fridge. Then she returned to the bed and poked Tai until he acknowledged her with a faint growl. "Scoot."

Tai groaned and rolled onto his side, providing just enough room for Amy to sit. She picked up his hands and placed the bottle in between them. "Drink water. You're drunk as a skunk." And you smell like one, too.

His eyes locked onto hers, dull and glazed. The golden flecks in his iris had faded, like embers in a dying fire. It hurt to see him like this, suffering and raging with no target, turning his temper inward. Strange that Matt still saw him as volatile. It was himself he was furious with- and that flavor of anger was terrible to process.

A powerful hand closed on her upper arm. "Amy," Tai breathed. His hand was shaking, and Amy glanced up at Matt. Tai wouldn't want him to see him like this. Well, he wouldn't want her to see this either, but there was no choice; someone had to make sure that he got through the night safely.

She made a "go away" gesture, but Matt hesitated. Pain, worry, frustration... It was all there in his tense muscles, in his averted gaze.

"He acted like we were okay when I told him. I figured he was hurting, but… But this? I… I've never seen him so drunk before." Matt hesitated and lifted a hand to the back of his neck. "Do you think… Are we going to be alright?"

Amy managed a wobbly smile. "You will. He loves you." Despite their scuffle, Amy doubted that Tai blamed Matt; he just had an excess of emotions to deal with.

"I didn't want this." Matt winced and looked away from Tai. "I mean, I wanted-" Amy shook her head, but Matt thankfully knew better than to mention Sora. "But I didn't want-"

Her smile probably looked as fake as it was, but what could she do? Amy understood Matt's guilt and worry, but Tai needed her more right now. "Of course you didn't want to hurt anyone. And you didn't, not really."

"I'm righ' here," Tai groaned. "We're fine, just- just piss off." Matt's hands clenched and unclenched before he nodded and retreated, closing the door behind him.

"Bastard," Tai growled. "Can't even hate him." Amy patted his shoulder. She didn't know how to feel, what to think. She hated that Tai was hurting, but it wasn't as if anyone did something malicious. Things just… hadn't worked out for Tai. Her eyes watered in sympathy, but her tears would make him feel worse, she knew.

He struggled with the water bottle lid. Amy twisted it open, then propped herself against the cinder block wall that the bed was pushed against. Frowning, she stole Matt's pillows to cushion her back. Then she yanked on Tai, trying to get him upright. He grumbled, but it was all bark and no bite; he allowed her to pull and prod until he was sitting beside her. His head fell heavily on her shoulder.

"So," Amy began, winding her arm through his, "do you want to talk about why you're so wasted on this cold Thursday morn?"

"Go away," Tai snapped- but he dumped more of his body weight onto her, pinning her. Cold water spilled and dripped down Amy's arm. She gasped and pressed the bottle to Tai's lips. He narrowed his eyes and made disgusting slurping noises as he drank.

"Do you remember how much you've had?" Amy asked, with morbid curiosity. Tai held his liquor well. Usually, the only signs of his intoxication were slurring and an increase in all of his personality traits, making him even more friendly, playful, and impulsive than usual. But now, he hardly seemed able to keep his damned head up. It sat like a rock on her shoulder.

There was a pause as he considered. "Ahhhmm... Fuck. I drank so much. I can'even see straight. I'mma owe Adam a lotta money."

Amy closed her eyes and willed herself not to react. Adam came from a wealthy family, and he was happy to get his friends wasted on his dime, provided he could watch the fun. If Tai felt the need to repay him, then he must have made a supreme dent in Adam's booze supply. "Let's focus on getting you through the night."

Tai grunted. "You're gonna get puked on."

His utter lack of remorse made Amy laugh. She nuzzled the top of his head with her cheek. "Yes, I know. I just love you that much."

Tai stared into her eyes for so long that Amy started feeling uncomfortable. "You love me," he sighed. "Maybe you can tell me why I fuck everythin' up."

Ah. We're getting into this, after all. Amy wasn't sure if she was relieved or not. Tai could probably benefit from a friendly, non-judgmental ear, but would he remember this conversation later? But there was no turning back now; words were tumbling out in a garbled string.

"Everythin' comes out all wrong. I liked her. Sora. I really did. But I don't... I don't think she even noticed. All she saw was Matt from the start. You tried to tell me- why didn' I listen t'ya?" The empty water bottle clattered to the floor as he twisted to bury his face in her shoulder.

Amy's breathing hitched, knocked off rhythm by his pain. True, it annoyed her when Tai brushed off her warnings of where Sora's attention was going. But could she really blame him for chasing after what he wanted, so long as he didn't overstep Sora's boundaries? "You didn't give up. I like that about you."

"Ya mean I'm stubborn." He tried to sigh or exhale, Amy wasn't sure which, but she did know that it resulted in dribble on her neck. "Fuck, I feel like shit." She reached over the edge of the bed, picked up the bucket, and passed it to him. His fingers crinkled the plastic bags. "Hah. Ya thought ahead. See, you're smart. Why can't I be smart, like you?"

"You are smart." Her eyes were hot and prickling, a prelude to tears that she fought to suppress. Tai wasn't bad at school- in fact, he did well, considering that he put so much more effort into sports than academics. But next to Amy, Matt, and Kari, who were all strong students, he didn't compare well. But that didn't matter- to her, Tai was an amazing person, and always had been.

"People give stubbornness a hard time, but what could anyone get done without it? You see opportunities, and you go for them." Amy wanted to sound encouraging, but she was freaking out. Although he groused like anyone else, Tai was positive and forward-thinking, always looking for actionable ways to improve things. This defeatist attitude frightened her.

"Amy…" Tai's eyes began to water. A tear streaked down his face, and he wiped it aggressively. "'M not cryin'," he growled as more tears fell.

"I know you're not." Amy's throat was so tight that speaking hurt. When his silent tears progressed into sobs, she wrapped her arms around him, and he curled into her. She shouldn't cry- she knew she shouldn't!- but tears escaped her control.

Day after day, year after year, Amy leaned on Tai's strength. She had stood in his shadow for as long as she could remember, wearing it like a coat of armor and a badge of honor. He was the strongest person she knew, and whatever support she could give him, she would, and gladly. She hugged him as he sobbed, and when his crying faded, she brought him tissues and more water. As he drank, looking pointedly away from her, she told him rambling stories about the many times he had helped Kari, Matt, and her over the years. When the vomiting began, she gave no signs of disgust or judgment. She just rubbed his back and stayed with him.

When he finally stopped throwing up long enough to sleep, Amy put the bucket beside the bed and helped him lay down. Cleverly, she aimed his face near the bucket, just in case. He seemed to pass out the moment she got him down on his side. Amy grabbed Matt's pillows and retreated to his free bed, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep- and hoping even more that things would look up for Tai, and soon.

The rest of the night was uneventful, unless you counted Tai's intermittent vomiting.