A Little Help from My Friends
Amy stared through her dorm room window, admiring a patch of trees in the courtyard between their building and the surrounding ones. The dropping sun set the red, yellow, and orange leaves ablaze on one side, while sinking the other into shadow. She opened the window and breathed the scent of fall, heedless of the chilled air rolling into the room and shivering in her lungs. Autumn was her favorite season, for its fanfare of color before the annual death of winter. And, of course, for pumpkin. Delicious, delicious pumpkin.
She sank into a dreamy state, thoughts drifting like the falling leaves. But mysteriously, they landed on the same spot, the same subject. She scattered them before she had to admit it to herself.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Amy jumped and turned to find Sora and Mimi standing behind her. She clapped a hand to her pounding heart, then shut the window and leaned against the wall, grateful for the support. "H-hi. What's up?"
Mimi flounced to her and slid an arm around her waist, forcing her away from the wall. "You scare too easily," she chided, directing her to her bed. She pushed on her hips, a clear command to sit. Amy obeyed, and was not surprised when Mimi sat beside her and started cuddling.
"Sorry I startled you. Do you mind if I ask what you were thinking about?" Sora asked as she sat on her bed. Amy sighed and tilted her head against Mimi's, breathing in her perfume, a combination of floral and wood scents.
"I was zoning out." Which was true, but also not. Some small, secretive part of her mind knew full well what she kept thinking about lately- or rather, what she kept avoiding thinking about. Sora and Mimi shared looks and sighed, and Amy tensed. This felt uncomfortably like the start of an interrogation.
Mimi ran her fingers over Amy's sides, not unlike a judge in a dog show, and she tried not to laugh at the ticklish sensation. "You did lose weight! I thought so!" Amy whirled towards Mimi, nearly smacking their heads together. What was this about, now? "Sora told me that you've been playing tennis with her. Are you trying to lose weight?"
Heat rushed to Amy's face. "I'm trying to make friends with Sora," she said, avoiding the weight topic.
And Amy discovered that, when Sora smiled with her eyes, she was possibly the loveliest thing on this planet. "I'm so glad. I was beginning to think you'd never warm up to me."
Amy blinked. "What? I always liked you a lot. But since you're dating Matt now, I want to be close to you. It's like... you're part of my family?" She shrugged, aware her words were strange, but unsure how else to express herself. Sora looked confused, but she didn't seem upset.
Mimi, however, narrowed her eyes, leaned in, and furrowed her brow, a look of mixed suspicion and challenge. "If you like someone, make friends! You don't need Matt to clear it for you! And anyway, there's more to it than that. I know you, Amy!"
Caught like a rabbit in a snare. Amygave Sora a helpless look, but she was smiling and unbothered. There was a sinking feeling in Amy's gut as she realized that, whatever this was, Sora was complicit.
All that was left to her was resignation. "As you will, Mimi." She nearly smacked her face. Why did she default to that expression? Everyone would know where it came from!
"See, see!" Mimi shouted, and Amy jerked away, her ears ringing. "You talk like him. You always talk about him. I know you're always thinking about him these days! You were smiling like a lovesick puppy when you were daydreaming!"
"Lovesick puppy?" Amy echoed. She had no idea what that meant, and the images that came to mind were fairly ridiculous.
Mimi ignored her interruption. "And now you're losing weight, and Sora says you've been asking her opinion on what you wear." Amy shot Sora a questioning look, and her smile became apologetic- but only slightly.
"Not to be rude," Amy sighed, "but where is this going? I have studying to do."
"No," Mimi said sharply, "You and Izzy are coming with Joe and me to the mall. A double date! If I have to watch you two dance around the fact that you like each other for one more second, I will scream. You stink at dancing!"
Amy shot Sora a look, a plea for mercy, but she held her hands up, as if to say, sorry, but what can I do?
Amy deflated, flopping into Mimi. "I don't want to," she said, and Mimi's hands curled into fists against her waist.
"Fine. I'll let you off the hook, if you can do this one thing." Her voice lacked its normal tinkling timbre. It was shrill, a sound that Amy had often heard, but had rarely been the recipient of. This was Mimi at the end of her (somewhat limited) temper.
"What's that?" Amy asked, winding an arm around Mimi. She wanted to end the conflict that she had somehow wandered into, but she wasn't sure how.
Mimi looked her straight in the eye, her expression uncommonly serious. "You can make people believe something that isn't true without lying, but you don't directly lie. So, I'll never bother you about Izzy again if you can say no to this question: Do you like Izzy?"
Amy went rigid, and she felt like a prisoner in her own body, unable to move, unable to speak. There it was- the thought she had been ignoring, pushing away, trying not to heed. That wonderful, dangerous thought… Her heart sputtered pathetically, as if it had forgotten what it was supposed to be doing.
"Mimi," Sora said gently, interjecting at last. "Should you push that hard?" Amy locked eyes with Sora and nodded, looking at her as if she were a lighthouse, glittering with the promise of safety in a storm.
"I have to!" Mimi snapped. "Amy's never liked someone before, and they're both so ridiculous, they're never going to get anywhere on their own!"
Sora sighed. "Honestly? I think of you two as a couple, anyway. And lately, there's been some tension there, don't you think, Mimi?"
"Oh, absolutely-"
"Tension?" Amy squeaked, somehow working her stiff jaws. "There's no tension. No tension here. We're friends." She fussed with her hair, fingers twitching, tangling the delicate strands. "And anyway, don't you think he might be kind of, you know, stoic? Detached?" She leaned towards Mimi and whispered something that she had restricted to the fringes of her mind. "What if he's asexual?"
Mimi looked at her, her expression distinctly skeptical. Then she turned to Sora, and when their eyes met, they began to laugh. "What's so funny!" Amy demanded, eyes prickling with tears of hurt.
Mimi opened her mouth, clearly intending to comment, but she broke into fresh peals of laughter. Sora dropped her head into her hand and gasped, trying to calm enough to answer. "Amy," she managed at last. "I don't think you have to worry about that."
"I don't?" If Amy weren't so invested in the conversation, she might have realized the implications of showing such interest in Izzy's sexuality. But alas, she leaned towards her friends, desperate for proof that Izzy was A, capable of sexual interest, and B, into girls.
Mimi patted her head as if she were a clueless puppy, or a child saying something adorable and innocent. "Ohhhh, Amy," she sighed, wiping moisture from her eyes. "Dear, sweet Amy. He's not asexual."
"You shouldn't assume someone's sexuality based on their interests or temperament," Sora said, so gently that it was clear she didn't mean it as an attack.
Amy flinched. "Oh- Oh, I didn't- I mean, you're right- And normally, it would be fine if he is asexual-"
"Aha!" Mimi cried, with a look of triumphant delight. "But not if you want to get busy with him!"
The cold touch of death shivered over Amy's nervous system, clashing with her flushed face, resulting in a horrible shudder. "That is not what I said! I just asked if he's asexual!"
"Like we said, he isn't! If you come shopping with us, I can prove it."
"I- What?" Amy tried and failed to imagine a way that shopping could prove someone's interest in the opposite sex. She was still puzzling over it when Mimi squeezed her waist.
"You still haven't answered, you know. Well, not directly. Do you like him?"
Zeus's treacherous loins. Amy crossed her arms and looked away. "I like you. I like Tai. I like Matt, TK, Kari, Joe, and Sora. And yes, I like Izzy."
Mimi and Sora sighed in unison. "That's cheating! You know what I mean!" Mimi wagged a finger in her face scoldingly. She looked frustrated, until she smirked in a way that made Amy worry her lower lip. "But if you're concerned about whether or not he's… wired like the average boy, then that speaks for itself!"
"It certainly seems to," Sora agreed.
"I don't- I'm not-" Amy sputtered, unable to articulate a denial. The emotions she had beaten down and ignored for so long frothed over and up. She sniffed once, twice, then started to cry full out, burying her face in her hands.
Mimi hugged her, pulling her in. "You pushed too hard," Sora said softly as she sat on Amy's other side. "We're sorry. I don't quite understand why you're crying. Can you tell us?"
"I'm s-sorry." Amy couldn't believe how quickly she drenched her face. It was like a salty flash flood. Mimi directed her head to her shoulder, and she obeyed. She felt less embarrassed about breaking down in front of Sora if Mimi hid her face. As for Mimi, well, Amy had helped her through far too many tears in high school to feel embarrassed crying in front of her.
"Um, Amy," Mimi began, stroking her hair, "are you… Are you afraid to start another relationship, after… After your last one?"
Amy's arms looped around Mimi. "Y-yes." She never loved Jerry, even before that day when everything went wrong. But everyone kept telling her how lucky she was, how he was so good for her, from people she loved and trusted to classmates. And so, like a fool, she went along with it.
And suddenly, everyone was bothering her to get with another boy. "But I like Izzy," she breathed, rubbing her face against Mimi's neck. And, with that admission, all the thoughts she had been beating back swirled like a tornado in her brain, then fell neatly into place, forming a cohesive picture.
She was in awe of his intelligence, and impressed that he rarely talked down to others. His curiosity and thirst for knowledge were exciting and refreshing, since people often seemed adverse to pushing themselves. And he was open-minded, always willing to challenge and reform his understanding of the world. His dry sense of humor and wit delighted her, as did his formal mode of speech. And she adored how gruff and uncomfortable he could be, although she knew that might make her strange.
And he seemed to understand and respect her fears of being physically dominated, and he yielded to her lead unprompted. Jerry was pushy about everything, from asking her out to… Well, to the end of their relationship. The contrast between Jerry picking her up or pinning her in a hug when she protested physical contact and Izzy offering his arm made her eyes water with gratitude and relief.
Her crying intensified as she compared that list of traits to her own. She was clumsy, neurotic, clueless, emotional, enormous- much taller and heavier than him. Normally, she didn't think about that sort of thing. She was what she was, and she worked with what she had. But, for the first time, she wanted to impress someone, and she suddenly realized how lacking she was. "Even if he is interested in girls, he'll never feel that way about me," Amy concluded aloud, wiping her eyes.
"No," Mimi cried. She swatted Amy on the head, like a child scolding a misbehaving dog. "You're thinking about the bad stuff your dad used to say, right? Well, no offense, but he's an ass, and you're a sweetheart, and there is nothing wrong with you. You ever start to think like that, come to me! I'll tell you how awesome you are! So promise me!"
"She's right, you know," Sora said softly. "And you and Izzy are the only ones who don't realize that you're interested in each other."
"Well, I don't think Tai knows," Mimi said. "He's got his own worries right now. But it may be better for Izzy that Tai doesn't sense this coming." Then she turned back to Amy and gave her one last shake. "Promise!"
"Okay!" Amy choked. "But I still don't think Izzy wants…" The sentence hung in limbo, as Amy was unable to complete it.
Mimi sighed and patted her shoulders. "Then let's get your face cleaned up, and I'll prove it to you." Amy stared at her blankly, baffled as to how this could be accomplished, but Mimi winked, stood, and helped her to her feet. "There will be no room for doubt by the end of the day. I promise!"
XXX
Izzy tapped his fingers against his steering wheel, trying to discern why he was driving Amy, Joe, and Mimi to the mall. Mimi had burst into his room, dragging Amy by the hand, and declared that it shall be so, and somehow he was swept along, despite the fact that he considering shopping one of the most mind-numbing exercises on the planet.
That disinterest was rapidly festering to despair as he listened to Mimi talk from the back seat. Apparently, the point of this trip was to purchase a dress for Amy, and it seemed that his approval was somehow required. Worse yet, Mimi kept throwing the word 'date' around, in reference to both herself and Joe and to him and Amy. His grip tightened around the wheel. He tried to observe Amy, who was opposite him in the passenger seat, in order to gauge her reaction to that loaded word, but she was gazing through her window.
"I was thinking this new dress could double as your Halloween costume," Mimi chirped, leaning towards the front seat. Izzy glanced into the rear view mirror and furrowed his brow with annoyance. He slid his eyes to Joe, who looked up at just the right moment. He shrugged, almost imperceptibly. He was holding Mimi's hand.
"I still don't understand," Amy said quietly. "I have dresses. Lots of them."
"But you don't have an LBD, which is, like, sinful!" Mimi's tone suggested that Amy was expecting to play baseball without a glove.
"LBD?" Joe echoed, and Izzy realized how difficult it was to drive and hold a conversation with multiple people. While he could cast a quick glance at the passenger seat, it was harder to see the people in the back. It was frustrating, since he wanted as much information as possible. Many social cues could only be seen in expressions and body language.
"Little black dress!" Mimi explained, as if this were common knowledge.
"Of course," Izzy said dryly. "What were you thinking, Joe?" He saw Amy's shoulders rise and fall with silent laughter, but Mimi didn't react. She was focused on Joe, speaking earnestly, as if the topic was of vital importance.
"The LBD is a fashion staple. Every girl needs one, at least! It needs to be something you can dress up or down, and pull out for any occasion. And it has to take advantage of the slimming effect of black, and show off your body."
Izzy felt his brow rise. Perhaps this really was an interesting topic. His eyes slid to Amy, who was shifting uncomfortably. "I don't need to show off, do I?"
Mimi released her breath in a loud, annoyed sigh. "Yes! You're a curvy babe! I'm going to pour you into a dress, and you are going to be gorgeous."
Amy buried her face in her palms, which was fortunate for Izzy, because Mimi's description was making him color. He finally understood why he was being dragged along; Mimi wanted to torture him with the sight of Amy dressed to kill, in the hopes that it would encourage him to ask her out. That much was obvious, and he couldn't help but wonder if Amy realized it. It was possible that she didn't, as she seemed occupied with her mortification.
"I like my clothes," Amy managed. "And I'm too fat to look good in anything that someone had to...pour me into."
Was it Izzy's imagination, or was she glancing towards him and inching away? Did she want his opinion? His mouth went instantly dry- even he knew there was no good answer to that.
"Ohhh myyy gaaaaaawwwddd," Mimi drawled. "I've told you a thousand times: you're not fat! You're curvy, and it's awesome. Don't go all pouty on me! I'll show you what's what, just you wait till we hit the stores!"
"Stores?" Amy echoed weakly. Izzy's stomach sank, possibly in unison with hers. Would he and Joe be permitted to do something else during this process?
"Yes! Stores!" Mimi snapped. "You're going to try on all of the things, and I'm going to pick the sexiest one." Izzy's treacherous brain scrambled, flashing imagined pictures of what Mimi's concept of 'the sexiest dress' might look like on Amy. He swallowed hard and tried to think of something else.
"Mimi..." Amy turned and spoke softly, as if that would prevent him and Joe from hearing. "I can't afford..."
"No excuses!" Mimi cried. "I'm buying." Izzy shared a surprised look with Joe in the rear view mirror. Amy made a sputtering noise, and Izzy hastened to speak, giving her time to organize her thoughts.
"That's generous of you."
Mimi waved his words away. "It's no problem. Papa sends me more money than I could ever spend. And that's saying something."
I'll bet it is. Izzy was beginning to suspect that Mimi was well off, and that he should have realized much sooner. She always dressed so fashionably, and often in something new, although Izzy admitted that his memory for clothes was not sharp. Besides, something about her suggested that she was accustomed to the finer things.
"Where do your parents live?" Izzy asked.
"Los Altos, California." Mimi sounded wistful, and Izzy understood why. He read somewhere that Los Altos was one of the most expensive places to live in the states, and he could only imagine the scenery and warm weather that she left behind in favor of the DMV tri-state area.
There was a strangled sound, which Izzy identified as Joe. "Los Altos?! No offense, but why did you come to school here if you... I mean, couldn't you have gone anywhere?"
And Izzy discovered that wry smiles looked odd on Mimi's open, expressive face. "Money only gets you so far. I'm not a great student. And anyway, I adore my parents, but... They smother me, they think I can't do anything on my own, so I wanted to prove that I can take care of myself. We moved around a lot for Papa's job, and I was happy here. I missed everyone. So... here I am. Anyway... I can buy a dress. I'm not taking no for an answer, Amy."
"Mimi... That's really sweet, and I appreciate it, but I'm not comfortable with-"
"Deal with it," Mimi growled.
Joe cleared his throat and tried to change the subject, and Izzy did his best to ease the transition.
XXX
Izzy watched Joe check his phone for what seemed like the hundredth time. Mimi promised to text when she found the perfect dress, but that was over three hours ago. Izzy and Joe loitered in the book store for most of that interval, intent on computer and medical books. It didn't seem right to stay there any longer without buying anything, so they strolled the long corridors, uninterested in the endless barrage of stores.
"I'm starving," Joe sighed, pocketing his cell. "Let's get a snack."
"What, and ruin our appetites?" Izzy asked innocently. "Mimi wants us to eat dinner together."
"Well, she'll be eating with a corpse if I don't get something soon," Joe retorted peevishly. "Honestly, why bring us if they wanted to shop by themselves the whole time?"
Izzy stared up at his friend, hardly able to comprehend his ignorance. "I don't claim to be an expert on women, but I've been made to understand that this scenario isn't that far-fetched."
"Get to your point." Izzy rolled his eyes, but smiled. Joe could be snappish when he was hungry enough.
"Inure. Especially if you intend to stay with Mimi."
Joe grumbled indistinctly and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, well… I guess everything has a price. Anyway... You do realize that Mimi keeps calling this a date, right? In front of Amy. Who hasn't said anything about it."
Oh, fantastic. We're going there. "Yes, Joe. I heard her the first six times." Izzy crossed his arms and glanced away, hoping to communicate his reluctance to explore this.
Somewhere above him, Joe sighed, long and low. "I really wish you'd talk to me. I know you hate it, I know you're private. I know you like to pretend that feelings don't exist and we live in a controlled, experimental environment. But we don't, and feelings do exist, and you're as riddled with them as the next poor fool. A friendly ear can go a long way, you know."
"Joe." Izzy uttered his name like a warning. There was a time when peers brought their problems to him, even if they weren't particularly close. They sought his willingness to speak his blunt opinion and his ability to strip an issue of the surrounding emotions and speak in calm, logical terms. But recently, he closed himself off, despite the pleasure he once took in being helpful.
But even back when he was willing to give advice, he never sought it. He preferred to address his problems on his own, or to bury them deep within himself. Why would he start sharing now? He was already embarrassed by how much Joe knew about his situation with Amy, particularly what he let slip the night he first took her roller skating.
"Fine," Joe growled. Izzy froze, shocked by his intensity. "You know what, I don't even care what you think anymore. We're having this discussion. We're getting ice cream- yes, you too, you need to put on weight, although eating ice cream isn't the healthiest way- and you're talking to me, even if I have to…" He paused and adjusted his glasses, clearly struggling for an appropriate threat. "You're going to talk to me," he finished lamely.
"Why should I?" Izzy snapped. His body tensed so much that it hurt. He tried to loosen up, but it seemed impossible.
"Because I care about you, which frankly is amazing, given how you've behaved this semester!" Joe's voice went high and harsh; he paused for a few deep breaths. "Seriously, I think I'm getting an ulcer."
Izzy's instinct was to lash out, but Joe's irritation had melted to concern. He stood there, still breathing hard, regarding him with worried eyes beneath a furrowed brow. Somehow, Izzy took a mental step back and analyzed the situation- which would have been his initial reaction if these insufferable emotions weren't involved. He knew he was taciturn and temperamental this semester, and Joe had been patient with him. Guilt prickled when he recalled the times he snapped at Joe for trying to help him. Although he kept telling himself that he wanted to be alone, he knew that Joe was an important part of his life, and that he had been taking him for granted.
"You're right," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I apologize. I'll make an effort to improve." He cleared his throat awkwardly, hoping he said the right thing, because he had no further ideas.
Joe blinked and adjusted his glasses. "Huh! I didn't expect you to… Alright. So, you'll talk to me?"
"I will," Izzy agreed through gritted teeth. But I won't enjoy it.
"Well, okay then." A few minutes later, they were seated on a bench, eating ice cream and watching shoppers pass. At first, Joe ate with single-minded intensity, too hungry to chat, but eventually he slowed and shifted towards Izzy.
Izzy stared into his cup of ice cream as Joe opened the discussion. "So, uh, how is it going with Amy? You haven't asked her out, have you?"
"Of course not," Izzy said, trying to keep the impatience out of his voice. He must have succeeded, because no traces of annoyance flashed across Joe's face.
"Well, can you tell me how you feel about her?"
Izzy's insides squirmed, an alien and disgusting sensation. "Joe, please understand. This is difficult for me to speak about. It has to stay between us."
"I wouldn't do that to you," Joe said quietly, his tone hinting at hurt. "You know me better than that."
"My intention wasn't to imply that you're untrustworthy. I apologize. I'm just… vulnerable." Joe nodded. "I… Amy…" He sighed, placed the ice cream on the bench, and buried his face in his hands, cutting off the world.
"I can't stop thinking about her, and honestly? I detest it." He risked a glance at Joe, who looked shocked, and a bit put off. Izzy was aware that his stance was unusual, but what was he supposed to do? Lie? That would render this insufferable exercise moot.
"I used to have such clarity of mind! I could work for hours, and now I'm so distracted. And I wonder… Will I always feel this way, or will I be able to reclaim what I was if I…" He couldn't voice the thought; his sentence trailed off impotently.
"If you started dating her," Joe supplied calmly.
"I can't just snap my fingers and make that happen!" Izzy's pitch shot up, to the point where he sounded like a stressed girl. Charitably, Joe swallowed a laugh.
"No, but you can just ask and make that happen."
"I keep trying to make it clear that I'm not… I don't want another romantic relationship." Izzy slumped against the bench, and the slats were uncomfortable against his spine and shoulders.
A hand landed on his shoulder, and he looked up reflexively. He winced when his eyes met Joe's. "You would find it uncharitable to equate Amy to Shauna, right?"
"That's insulting!" Izzy sputtered, jerking back from Joe. Fury overwhelmed him, but Joe remained calm and steady.
"I agree. So isn't it hypocritical to apply the fears you took away from your relationship with Shauna to your relationship with Amy?"
All Izzy could do was stare at Joe, utterly dumbfounded. The logic was so simple, so straightforward, and yet he failed to see it on his own. But, for once, he clearly saw the disconnect between logic and emotion; knowing that he shouldn't carry the baggage from one relationship into the next was one thing, but actually letting go of it…
That was another.
Izzy gazed at the crowds milling by and wondered… Was everyone else so weak? Did most people recover and move on, without carrying everything with them? Was there something wrong with him? In a small, shaking voice, he murmured, "I do see your point, but… It's so difficult…"
Joe squeezed his shoulder gently. "You went through a lot. But I have to ask… You do want a romantic relationship with Amy, right? I mean, it's obvious that you like her, and that you're affectionate towards her, in your way. But…" He tilted his head and made a hedging sound. "Sometimes you seem interested, and sometimes not."
Izzy swallowed hard, then cleared his throat. He lowered his voice and leaned in towards Joe, as if the random shoppers cared about his personal drama. "If you ever tell anyone this, I will cheerfully murder you." Joe snorted and rolled his eyes, but Izzy held his gaze until he nodded.
Heat simmered off Izzy's face like molten air rising from asphalt in the summer. "I want to deny… I don't want to feel this way. But there's just, there's too much evidence. Thinking about her, dreaming about her…"
"You dream about her?" Izzy's eyes pinched shut. He hoped Joe wouldn't inquire about the nature of these dreams, which he was not going to answer. "That's… Huh. I wonder if it's because you're denying so much." After a pause, during which Izzy absolutely refused to look at Joe, he said, "So you are attracted to her. She doesn't look a thing like…"
"I know," Izzy cut in. "I know. And I was attracted to Shauna. It was difficult not to be, at least until I came to understand her. But although I doubt there's anyone else who would rate Amy above Shauna purely on the basis of appearance… The effect Amy has on me now, compared to the effect Shauna had on me at the height of our relationship…" He paused and swallowed, unwilling to admit this out loud, but unable to back out. "It's… ridiculously stronger."
"It's like being ensnared," Joe murmured, staring off into nothing.
Izzy nodded hopelessly, then sighed. "It's going well with Mimi, then?" Personally, he felt that Joe's relationship was none of his business, but he wanted to show interest in his life.
Joe grinned a little goofily. "I think so, but I'll spare you the details. The point is that you need to ask Amy out. I don't know what it's like to break up and start over. But… Well, Amy likes you, and you seem in too deep to back out now. I know you didn't ask for it, but my advice would be to take a leap of faith."
"Noted," Izzy retorted. But he managed to clear away his sarcasm to add, "Thank you. For everything."
"No problem." Joe's tone was brusque, but Izzy knew it was due to pleased embarrassment. Joe wasn't skilled at accepting compliments and appreciation, being unaccustomed to it. "If I can help, let me know."
Before Izzy could reply, a chirping sound came from Joe's pocket, and he pulled out his cell phone. "Finally! Mimi says they found a dress. She wants us to come look at it. Well, you, I imagine."
"Is that really necessary?" Izzy complained, for the sake of his pride. He was actually eager and afraid in equal measures. After hearing Mimi describe the purpose of the little black dress, he couldn't deny his interest in seeing Amy wearing one hand-picked by her. However, he feared that the sight might… Well, prove exactly what Mimi was trying to prove.
"If you want to argue with Mimi, be my guest," Joe said, offering his phone. "Your funeral."
"I'll pass, thank you." Izzy stood and followed Joe to wherever Mimi was directing him.
XXX
Amy stared at her reflection with glazed eyes. She was beyond exhausted, flushed with the exertion of being pulled and tugged into what felt like five thousand dresses. Who knew there were so many in a single mall?! She was far too tried to know if she looked good in the tight dress she wore, but Mimi seemed pleased, and Amy trusted her judgment in clothing more than she trusted her own.
There was a sharp tug on her hair, and Amy grunted with confusion. Mimi ran a brush through it, her expression focused. "I texted Joe. He and Izzy are coming, so I'll pretty you up real quick."
"Meems," Amy sighed, grimacing at a yank, "is showing the boys really necessary?" She wasn't looking forward to modeling for people who, like her, likely wished that they were anywhere but this mall.
"What!" Mimi exclaimed. "That's the whole point of bringing Izzy! Just watch his face when he sees you, and you'll know for sure that he's into you. I guarantee it. You. Look. Amazing!" Mimi's voice went high and shrill with the force of her excitement, and Amy blinked, turning her attention back to the mirror.
"Are you… sure?" She squinted, but the dress seemed to blur into all the others she tried today.
Mimi tsked and opened her purse. "Sit here," she demanded, directing her to the chair in the corner of the changing room. "Rest your eyes while I do your makeup. You're tired. It can happen to people who aren't used to serious shopping." Mimi patted her cheek, and Amy sighed and obeyed. A groan rose from the depths of her soul as she collapsed onto the seat.
"Now," Mimi cooed, pressing something against her eyelid, "I want you to imagine that you're relaxing. Let's see… Okay. You're sitting in your dorm room and playing guitar." Mimi giggled, and the mischief in her tone made Amy tense. "Oooh, I know, you're playing Hotel California."
Amy swallowed a sigh. To her, music was the height of emotion, and, inexplicably, she found Hotel California sexy. She never said so, but if anyone would pick up on something like that, it would be Mimi. She suspected that she should stop her, but how did one do that, exactly?
"You're sitting next to Izzy on your bed, and he's playing video games and listening to you sing. He feels your eyes on him- you can't help it, that nerdy little grin just does it for you- and he knows what you're thinking…" Something wet and slightly sticky was being spread against her lips, and Amy colored as her mouth puckered towards the lipstick. Did Mimi read romance novels? How was she writing one on the fly?!
"He puts the controller down… He leans closer…" Amy's heart pounded desperately. She wasn't good at visualizing, but the purring quality to Mimi's voice bridged that gap. It felt like someone really was leaning towards her. "And… Oops, I gave you way too much lipstick."
And, suddenly, soft lips were on hers, tasting faintly of cherries and spearmint gum. A shudder tore down Amy, but she wasn't sure if it was arousal or displeasure. Mimi had never kissed her without alcohol involved, and she didn't know what to make of it- until her mind blanked, at which point, it was moot. The touch of lips on lips felt incredible, and the scene Mimi set up was ingrained in her mind.
But even Mimi knew when enough was too much. She eased back, and Amy took a deep breath before opening her eyes. "Amy, that was great!" Mimi cried, nuzzling her forehead with hers. "I'm so proud of you!"
"Wha?" Amy had no idea what was going on anymore. Mimi patted her head affectionately.
"Sweetheart. You've been uptight about physical intimacy as long as I've known you. I've been trying to show you that lightening won't strike if you get close to someone for years. But you've always kissed like you would rather have the lightening." She winked and grinned. "But that was lovely. Has someone convinced you that smooching might not be so bad?"
"That's what the kissing has been about?!" Amy cried. She chose to ignore Mimi's question, as she was at her limit.
"Well, mostly," Mimi said, shrugging. "It's also because it's fun. And, you know, the boys eat it up! But it's also because I love you."
"But…" Amy worried her lower lip, which was still tingling. "But you're dating Joe. And you want me to date Izzy."
Mimi sighed. "Joe hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet, but it does look like it's heading in that direction. Which is great! But that's probably the last time I can kiss you." She paused and frowned. "I hope I remember that when I'm drunk…"
Amy shook her head, still baffled. "But, but- Are you saying you- We're friends, right? Not-"
And, in a rare turn of events, Mimi looked meek. "We're friends. I just…" She looked away, rubbing the back of her neck. "Well, I think you should be able to kiss your friends, and do more if everyone wants to. But… I don't think many people see it that way."
Amy cupped her forehead, feeling woozy. "I can barely even imagine kissing the person I like…"
"We're on opposite ends of that spectrum, I think," Mimi said. "But I'm worried that you might have, like… Some trauma? So I thought I was helping, but maybe surprise kissing is bad for that, not good?" She held both of Amy's hands. "I'm sorry. I meant well, but I think I was selfish."
"You're attracted to girls?" Amy asked. She could only process one thing at a time, and the simplest question seemed the best starting point.
Mimi grinned. "Everyone is so beautiful, don't you think? But the pool of boys who want to smooch is a lot bigger. And anyway," she said, booping Amy's nose, "you like girls, too. Am I wrong?"
"I-" Amy's mouth snapped shut. What was she supposed to say? "I've wondered that," she allowed. "But… Well, I've never thought about… Doing anything with anyone, except…"
"Then we really are different!" Mimi laughed. "But that means we definitely need to get you with Izzy! And speaking of, come here and have a look at yourself!"
"I still have questions," Amy said. Mimi waved her hand.
"Later. The boys will be here any second. Come on, you look amazing!"
Amy hesitated. What did Mimi think some makeup, a dress, a body form, and a push up bra would do? They weren't magic; she'd look the same as ever. But arguing with Mimi was a futile exercise, so she stood and approached the mirror.
Her jaw dropped so fast that it hurt.
"Mimi, I can't- People can't see me like this!" The dress clung to every curve, and the upper hemisphere of each breast and the cleavage between was on display, thanks to the drastic neckline (well, 'boobline' was more accurate). She moved her eyes to her waist with pure willpower and found that the dress showcased it giving way to swaying hips, all while somehow concealing her stomach. The skirt was simple, tight along her thighs, just long enough for her fingertips to trace the hem. It was held up by thin straps of delicate beads, each one catching the eye with an obsidian gleam.
"People absolutely will see you like this!" Mimi cried, grabbing her shoulders and peeking over one. "You look delicious."
Amy stepped closer to the mirror. "I can't believe that's me." She contemplated this little miracle until a chirping interrupted her reverie.
"Joe and Izzy are here!" Mimi cried. "I'll be right back with them! Wait here!"
"Oh, I'm not going anywhere," Amy muttered, but Mimi was already gone, moving with her typical energy. Amy's heart was a piston. Her hands moved to her hair, wanting to fuss with it, but she managed to stop herself. She prowled the dressing room, and she was sure her heavy footfalls could be heard in the surrounding rooms. She blanched when she realized that people probably heard her discussion with Mimi.
Far too soon, it seemed, Mimi opened the door and dragged her to the dressing room entrance. She pushed her into the department store with a flourish. "Well, boys? What do you think?!"
Amy wanted to dive back into the dressing room and pretend that this wasn't happening, but it was too late; Izzy and Joe were already in front of her. Her eyes fell on Izzy's face, as if spotlights guided her to it. His mouth was slack, and she followed the path of his glance from her chest to her waist to her hips, down her bare legs, and back up. She remembered the way he looked her over before asking her to roller skate. That was polite, analytical.
This was more of a… panicked ogling.
By the time their eyes locked, his face was crimson, and he had trouble maintaining eye contact. Amy was frozen, unable to process the heady mixture of hope, excitement, and nerves strumming along her guts and dancing across her skin. Instinctively, she stepped back, bumping into Mimi, taking comfort in the safety provided by a fellow lass.
"Well?" Mimi prodded cheekily. "Cat got your tongue, Izzy?"
Izzy cleared his throat and slowly unclenched his hands. "P-prodigious," he muttered, and Amy blinked and crossed her arms.
"Prodigious? As in, great in size?" Was that some kind of fat joke? No, it couldn't be; he was impressed, it was painfully obvious. And that admission sent dizzy heat to her head and made her hands clammy. She was careful not to touch her dress.
"Izzy!" Mimi cried, laughing even as her hands flew sternly to her hips. "I was asking about the dress, not her boobs!"
"No!" Izzy cried. His face went from flushed to brick red, so that his head seemed like a big tomato perched on his neck. "That's not- I wasn't- I meant- You look stunning."
Joe took this opportunity to kindly intercede on Izzy's behalf. "Mimi, you did a great job. Amy, you look nice."
"Sorry it took so long, but you just can't rush genius." Mimi took Amy by the arm and led her back to the dressing room. "Sorry Izzy, but you'll have to wait for Halloween for more!"
"Halloween?" Amy echoed.
"Yeah, mom mailed me the ladybug wings I wore last year. Wear them with your dress." She lowered her voice and leaned towards her ear. "Izzy couldn't take his eyes off you. Did you see his face?! It was so adorably awkward!"
"Adorkable," Amy corrected, and Mimi shrieked with laughter.
"That's perfect!" They returned to the dressing room, where Mimi turned Amy around by the shoulders and unzipped her dress. "Now, do you believe me when I say that Izzy is into you?"
Amy was silent, struggling to hold back the torrent of emotions rushing within her. She couldn't do it; she pressed her hands to her face as hiccupy giggles slid free and tears stung her eyes. Mimi embraced her, and Amy wrapped her arms around her, anchoring herself. "Maybe he likes me. Do you really think he does?"
"Of course he does! So don't worry; go get him! And once again, the day is saved by Mimi!"
Amy produced a syrupy laugh, patted Mimi's back, and stepped back. As she changed back into her clothes, Amy reflected on how fortunate she was to have this pushy, wonderful girl in her life.
