Chapter Nine
"Beckett!" Castle answered his phone with a cheerful greeting. "Called to seek my assistance on your case, have you? Well, I'm sure I can fit you in to my busy schedule."
Earlier that day when she asked if he would be making an appearance at the Twelfth that day he declined. He'd worked with her on her case that had ended just two days prior and he really needed to make progress on the novel he was writing. Of course, that still meant that he would procrastinate significantly, but at least if he remained inside of his apartment there was a chance he would get some writing done.
"Not exactly. Don't freak out because I'm fine, but-"
Immediately Castle's heart rate spiked to 150 beats per minute. "What happened? Where are you? What's going on?"
"I said don't freak out, Castle," she chastised.
He pushed himself up to his feet, nearly yelling into the phone, "Then tell me where you are."
"The ER."
"THE ER!" He shouted, before beginning to sprint out of his office, tripping over the edge of the rug in the process. "Which ER? I'm-"
"No, no—don't come here. I'm already on my way out. Meet me at the Twelfth, please. But also remember: I'm fine."
"Then why were you in the ER?" he retorted.
"I was in a very minor fender-bender."
"A car accident!" He yelped, his heart rate spiking again.
"Fender bender. We drove away; it's fine."
"But-"
"Castle—Twelfth. Please."
"Okay." He grumbled just before she disconnected the call. Then, he grabbed his shoes and was out the door, in the hall, and aggressively pounding on the elevator call button determined to reach the precinct as quickly as possible.
By the time he reached the Twelfth Castle's writer's brain had spun up horrible scenarios, all of which threatened the safety of Kate and her unborn child. No matter how much the logical side of his brain tried to remind him that if either were in grave danger, they would not have been permitted to leave the ER, his mind would not rest until he saw her and made sure of her safety himself.
He ran down the hallway of the twelfth like the quarterback dodging players on his way to score the game-winning touchdown. When he finally skidded to a stop in front of Beckett's desk, he was out of breath, but he still managed to yelp out, "Your head! Oh my god, your head! Is it a concussion?"
"No," she said firmly. "It's just a little bump."
"But! It's your head!" he managed, his chest still heaving to bring in precious oxygen.
"Castle, my god, sit down. I'm fine. I promise you I'm fine." He did as she asked but stared at her intently until she continued her explanation of what happened earlier that morning. "We were going to the morgue to hear Lanie's report on our latest D.B.; Ryan was driving. We were stopped in traffic, but the guy behind us was texting and he didn't realize traffic had stopped so he rear ended us. Then, the jolt pushed us forward into the car in front of us, but we barely tapped it. My head bumped against the side of the door which is why there is a bruise," she emphasized dramatically, "on my forehead, but otherwise, it was fine. The car bumpers were barely dented since, as I said, we were already stopped."
The writer nodded his head as this information processed in his brain. Her explanation did make the incident seem as thought it was very minor, but if her representation was truthful, then one piece of it did not make any sense to him. "But then…why were you in the ER?"
She folded her hands together and rested them on the desk as she spoke in a calm, controlled manner. "Because when I went to the bathroom at the morgue, I realized that I was spotting blood, and-"
"BLOOD!" he shrieked.
Kate gripped onto his hands and shushed him, nervously glancing around at everyone in the bull pen who was now staring at them. "Castle," she scolded. "I'm fine. Lanie made me go and get checked out, but it's all good."
"The baby, too?" he asked, scooting to the edge of his seat with anxiety.
"She nodded. I had a scan and everything looks fine. I've been spotting every once in a while for the past two months so they think the spotting and the accident were unrelated, just coincidental."
"But shouldn't you be resting?" he questioned.
She smiled at him. "Yes. I just need to write up this incident report and then you're going to take me home."
"Oh. Right. Okay." As his heart rate began to settle, he leaned back in his chair and relaxed as best he could. Reaching out his hand to squeeze on to her forearm he added, "I'm glad you and the little one are okay."
She nodded. "Me too. And he's more than okay—all the excitement has him really swimming around in there." She patted her rounded belly and then scooted her chair back into its proper position so she could work at her keyboard and finish her report.
Later that day, as Kate lay curled around her pregnancy pillow in Castle's bed, she knew she should have been resting, but she simply could not help replaying the scarier moments of that day over and over again in her mind. As a result, instead of resting or simply relaxing, tears were streaming down her face as her hand lay firmly against her belly. The child inside hadn't moved for several minutes, which was completely normal, but she with every gap in his movement she worried and knew she would continue to worry for the next several days, despite the doctor in the ER assuring her that such a minor car accident would have no effect on her child's wellbeing.
As he had been doing so for the two hours since they arrived home, Kate heard Castle's footsteps in the doorway of the bedroom. He didn't always come inside, but that time she wanted to make sure that he did, so she called out for him.
"Rick?"
"Yeah? Did you need something? A drink? Maybe some food or—are you crying? Does your belly hurt? Your head?"
"No, no." She promised despite her tears. "I'm not in pain I just…can we talk for a minute?"
"Of course."
She began to move towards a sitting position, which was becoming increasingly more challenging with each passing day. Fortunately, Castle grabbed onto her arms and helped to haul her up. Once she was nestled comfortably against the bed pillows, Castle sat just beside her legs, placing his hand gently on her knee.
"I, um, I was thinking about today…and the truth is that even though I kept telling everyone I was fine, on the way to the ER I was actually really scared. When I went into the bathroom and saw the blood I panicked. I genuinely hadn't thought the jolt we got in the car was that bad, or that the seat belt had tightened too much over my belly, but then I was second guessing it—I wasn't sure.
"Ryan was being so kind and reassuring as he drove me in and I told him that I was fine, and whatever happened was fine—that maybe this would end up being some sort of sign…but inside I was actually t-terrified," she confessed, her voice braking on the word. Castle's expression contorted into one of sorrow and he leaned forward to brush a kiss against her forehead.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't with you."
She shook her head, not wanting him to feel any guilt for something so far beyond his control. "I kept feeling my stomach almost frantically, trying to make sure he was still moving as much as he had been. Ryan offered to wait with me at the ER, but I sent him away, because I… I was embarrassed and confused about how I was feeling."
"You should have called me; I would have come right away."
"I know," she said with a light laugh; he had certainly demonstrated that when she did end up calling him. "I just didn't want to have anyone else there while I was trying to figure out how I was feeling. Plus, they said they wanted to get me in quickly, so I figured by the time you got there the exam would be over. I would have definitely called if something serious was going on, but thankfully I didn't have to. He was just fine on the ultrasound…he had his little hand up, almost as though he was waving hello." She sobbed out, though happy tears that time as she recalled the glimpse of him she had seen on the screen.
"Aww that's sweet. I bet he can't wait to meet us—in eleven weeks," he added.
"Right." She sucked in a deep breath then reached out for Castle's hand, gripping on to it in almost a desperate manner. "Rick…I want to keep him."
A smile blossomed on his face as he asked, "Yeah?"
She nodded as the tears slid down her cheeks and dripped off the edges of her jaw. "No matter if it's your baby or Tyson's, he's mine; he's my child. I've been trying not to think about it that way because of how this whole thing started, and it's still so scary because I don't see how we'll be able to keep him completely safe from Tyson as long as he's out there, but… I feel him all the time: moving, kicking, hiccupping. He's part of me and I can't give him up. Is that okay?"
Castle reached out his hand and cradled her jaw. Using his thumb, he brushed along the tear tracks on her cheeks and asked, "Why wouldn't it be okay, love?"
"Because you once said your career as a mystery writer might prevent you from raising Tyson's child."
"I was joking. Mostly joking," he corrected with a coy smile. "Besides his biology doesn't matter. We're going to love this little guy or girl so much nothing else will matter more." With that, he leaned forward and gathered her into a tight hug. With his arms around her, Kate shut her eyes, nuzzled her face into his shoulder and fully relaxed for the first time since the accident.
When she really let herself think about it, Kate knew deep down that she was going to keep her baby from the moment she felt him move inside of her. Up until that point, she was able to stay detached enough to still be on the fence about keeping the child if it ended up being Tyson's, but as soon as she felt him move the bond had just been too strong. She'd talked to him and felt him respond to her touches when she pressed along her belly. He was her child, her son, and though she was still absolutely terrified about what kind of mother she would end up becoming, she knew giving him away would cause far more heartbreak. She had to keep him, protect him, and love him in every way she could.
Sliding out of Castle's embrace, she pressed a soft kiss to his lips then told him, "It's a boy; the tech doing the ultrasound didn't know we hadn't yet found out and he let it slip."
Castle's face illuminated with joy. "A boy. Our son," he rasped out and Kate could see his eyes welling up.
"Yeah; our son," she echoed, her hands coming to rest against her belly. His joined her there as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against her chin. They stayed that way for several moments before he lifted his head, kissed her, and told her how much he loved her. Smiling she said, "I love you too, Castle."
He kissed her again. "Does this mean you'll move in here—officially," he added, referring to the fact that she basically hadn't been back to her apartment in weeks and the entirety of her maternity wardrobe hung in his closet.
"Yes."
His grin grew even larger. "Perfect. And, uh…oh wow. I guess we have about ten weeks to figure a lot of things out—just in case he comes a little early. We'll need to create a nursery and pick a name—oh!" he gasped and clapped his hands together. "Cosmo!"
"What?"
"Cosmo—it's what I was going to name Alexis if she was a boy."
Kate's lips curled in displeasure. "No."
The writer looked mildly deflated. "You don't like it?"
She couldn't help but chuckle as she said, "Not at all." To her, Cosmo sounded like the nickname of a very old man who played checkers in one of the many city parks and she had absolutely no desire to make that the name of their child.
Fortunately, Castle recovered quickly from her veto. "Well, I'll get us a book tomorrow and we can start going through it."
"Okay." She agreed. He leaned forward, kissed her briefly, and then moved to get off the bed, but she stopped him with, "You're okay with this, right? Keeping the baby?"
He tilted his head to the side and gave her one of the sweetest, happiest smiles she'd ever seen. "How could I not be? It's what I always wanted…not the exact scenario I imagined, admittedly, but raising a family with you—that's what I want, Kate. And from the moment I figured out what Tyson's plan was, this was always in the cards for me. You, me, and our baby; together."
Kate felt her heart swell so much she feared it might pop out from behind her ribs. This sweet, incredible, amazing man had chosen her to be his partner and some days she couldn't comprehend how she had been so lucky. She had known for quite some time she was a fool to resist her feelings for him for as long as she did, but even after over a year together these moments blew her away. She loved him so completely and unwaveringly that sometimes it took her breath away.
"Thanks Castle," she responded tearfully, and he swept in to pull her in a tight hug.
"Now, how are you feeling? Do you want to eat a little something?"
Kate considered his question and realized because of the ordeal at the ER she actually hadn't eaten since breakfast and now it was well into the late afternoon. "Yeah, um…I think I could eat some yogurt with that new granola you got me."
"Of course—coming right up."
"I can come to the kitchen, Castle!" She called after him as he walked toward the doorway, but he brushed off her concerns. A few minutes later he returned with a bowl filled with yogurt and granola with a spoon sticking out of the top.
"So…now that we know the baby is a boy, do you want to decorate the nursery accordingly?" he asked as he sat down beside her once again.
"What like," she paused to take a heaping spoonful of granola, "paint it blue?"
"Sure blue. Or decorate with a manly theme."
Kate arched a brow. "What 'manly theme' did you have in mind for a newborn, Castle?"
"Uhh…Trucks?" he offered.
She laughed. "Well…I guess I haven't given much thought to the room color or the decorations, but…maybe we can do a zoo animal theme?"
"I love that. We could even hang up Linus in his room if we choose the bigger of the two guest rooms to be his."
Kate laughed and shook her head. "Oh yeah I'm sure the three-times-life-size picture of a lion on the wall won't be terrifying at all to a baby."
"He wouldn't be scared of it if it was always there," Castle rationalized.
Kate hummed as she chewed some more granola, thinking about how they would even make that work, then shook her head. "Let's just stick to cartoon zoo animals, okay"
"Okay," he agreed. Then, still smiling he said, "I'm going to have a lot of fun doing all of this with you"
"Me too, Castle; me too."
