Okay, I have a confession. I completely forgot that in sixth year you are supposed to have apparition classes. Fully slipped my mind. I plotted fairly meticulously for the rest of this story, so why did I have to forget this? WHo knows. Anyway, I hope you don't mind that I have hamfisted Sirius getting his license.
Also, this part of the story borrows from a very standard trope in OCxSirius Black fanfics - that of the Black fanclub. I didn't want to give them too much importance, because looking back, it seemed a little unreal that so many girls would be this obsessed with one boy. I mean, it's been known to happen, of course, but I've toned it down anyway.
Have funnnn, hope I didn't forget any other crucial element or whatever.
The Source by James A Michener
New Year was a quiet affair for most everyone. By the time twelfth night had passed, Sirius Black had shocked both the Potters by reading a heavy book for much of the holidays. James Potter had shocked them equally for doing the same. Lily Evans returned to Hogwarts, looking cheerful and irritated at the same time: a consequence of sharing a home with her parents and her sister. Sarah Freegood didn't smile when she saw June, but June did – which was enough for anyone.
June still had concerns over her status in the dormitory. Lily had returned, and she knew that before the holidays, Lily had tried a new tactic to hunt out who Sirius' mystery reader might be. She had checked all the school owls that may or may not have been borrowed in the last few weeks. It was a lucky thing June wasn't using school owls at all – but she had nevertheless prepared for something new that Lily might throw at her. However, Lily seemed preoccupied with other things – from what June overheard, Severus Snape had tried to corner her again during the holidays.
"I swear, I think not bothering me for the first half of term was a tactic to have me calm down," she heard Lily telling Marlene and Mary. "After the relentless summer spent with him trying to get me to talk to him. Petunia and I have never really agreed on much, but on this even she was with me."
June slunk away, because it felt like it was going into a more personal territory. Anyway, she wanted to meet Sirius.
Sirius found June when she was in the common room, reading by herself. They didn't have any homework yet, so she had opted for a magazine. She wasn't going to take a chance with any of her normal books – and although she had spent a large part of Christmas poring over the notes written in the margins of Sirius' Advanced Transfiguration, she didn't want to take a chance with that either. The bliss of being able to read was gone – Sirius was back, and she had to be careful once again.
He sat down next to her without a greeting. She rolled her eyes and flipped through the pages of her magazine.
"Unbelievable," he said. "Freegood gets a smile, and I get an eye roll?"
She coloured. "Shut up," she said. "Happy Christmas," she said after a pause.
"You too," he said. "What did you do all by yourself? Wept over the loss of my company?"
She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Are you five?" he asked.
"Heavy, coming from you."
"Very cheeky."
June grinned at him.
"I missed you too, Williams," he said.
Her heart thumped. She wished he wouldn't say things like that. This was hard enough without him exacerbating things. Unable to respond adequately, she shook her head and turned back to her magazine.
"How was your Christmas?" she asked.
"It was good," he said. "I got my apparition licence!"
"You did?" she asked. "I forgot you turn seventeen this year itself. I didn't bother with the classes since I wasn't going to be able to get the licence."
"You didn't miss much," he informed her. "I can hardly remember them, apart from the three D's – a concept which is a lot less lewd than you'd imagine it to be."
June giggled. Things between them and the world had become a little softer. Even Sirius' fanclub, placated with many helpings of turkeys and mashed potatoes – did not bother anyone that evening. June glanced at a girl who had handed her the Dostoevsky, amiably chatting with her friends.
"I've never seen them leave you alone for this long," remarked June.
"It's always like this, after Christmas," said Sirius, taking out a book of his own.
June frowned. "What are you reading?" she asked.
Sirius looked up, blushing – actually blushing! "Georgette Heyer," he admitted.
June had to school herself from not giving anything away. "But – that's the romantic writer?"
He nodded. "Peter lent it to me. He's a fan, apparently."
She really did have to stop herself from reacting.
"It's alright, you can laugh," said Sirius moodily.
"No, no!" said June, her mouth betraying laughter.
He glared at her. "You laugh now, but she's going to love that I read even more," he huffed.
June's heart sunk. "Of course," she said, ignoring her heart.
"It's not for her, though," he confessed immediately, lest she believe he liked someone. "I liked the Heyer. Figured I could read some more. And the book the mystery reader gave me is a little heavy this time – I read a lot of it over Christmas, but I still have a third left. I wanted to wash it down with something light."
At once, June felt like laughing again. She rolled her eyes fondly. As soon as she was aware of what she was doing, she shut down again. "I'm going to bed," she said.
Sirius had already buried himself in the book he had. It was a good one, too. These Old Shades. June wondered if she could pull off telling him that there was a sequel to that thing. Despite it's problems, she liked Devil's Cub more.
This wasn't something she could tell him at all, but it made a pleasant dream. It sometimes surprised her that she was able to be around Sirius Black, talk to him and everything – and never about books. Around Sarah and Hagrid she was fully capable of talking about her opinions on To Kill a Mockingbird just to make sure she didn't have to talk about herself. Even the few conversations Lily had snagged with her over the years had been about what she was reading. Without the convenient crutch of hiding behind her preferences in reading, she was surprised to find that she had… more.
She found it hard to pinpoint what that more was – but it certainly felt more tangible than it ever had before. She had been vaguely aware of the fact that she had a personality and depth and complexities – but she had pressed them into books and sheets and writing, never trying to explore them. And now, because Sirius Black was asking for her opinions in person – she had to talk to him. She had to tell him what she thought of the Herbology essay, of why she liked ice-skating. She was a person, not a Frankenstein's monster of all the books she had read.
It wasn't like they spent endless time together – they often had two or three evenings together in the library, and maybe lunch sometimes. They weren't more than reasonable friends, nowhere close to his friendship with his best friends. But it was… not unpleasant. No one was more surprised about this than her.
Unfortunately for her, there were others who had noticed this. The softness in the castle wasn't something that was meant to last, in any case. June was a little unused to being conscious of people… noticing her. In her own imagination, she was never the object of any sort of scrutiny. Which was why it came as a shock to her when she became one. And within a week after the Christmas holidays were over, too.
Too many people – finally having cottoned on to the fact that she was somewhat friends with Sirius Black had come to their senses. What was considered something that wasn't worth much had suddenly become the object of jealousy for a number of the girls in the castle. Too many people had noticed his preoccupation with books, too many girls had regarded the fact that there was nothing really new in his life apart from the fact that he was spending time with this nobody from nowhere.
June had no experience with this. When her hair was turned blue one morning during breakfast, she thought it must have been a spell misfire. By the time the morning had become evening, she found herself with suspiciously large beaver teeth (for which she had to go to the Hospital Wing), her bag ripped in half, and what she was certain was a spell to grow her nails that she dodged with some presence of mind. Unfortunately for her, Marlene noticed her having ducked swiftly in the corridor. They'd both been leaving for their Care of Magical Creatures class – June had been walking ahead and had felt the hex come her way when she ducked.
Marlene grabbed June's hand and helped her up. "Oh, hi Marlene," said June breathlessly –
"Quiet," ordered Marlene. "Up ahead, isn't it?"
"Oh, don't –"
"I didn't ask for your opinion, sweetheart."
She dragged June with her, and came to what looked like two fifth year girls who had their wands out and were standing at the corridor's turning.
"Oi!" said Marlene at once. "You sending hexes at my friend?"
The two girls looked at each other. "None of your business," said one of them, pretending a kind of confidence. June flinched.
"I hope you know that I'll make it your business, you scrawny little fifth years," said Marlene, with more menace than June had expected. "You have maybe half the good sense of a flobberworm and some of the skill of a hippogriff, and that gives you the audacity to be sending hexes in the middle of corridors?"
"Well it's not fair!" said one of the girls. "How can she just waltz in here and become something to Sirius? I've sent him a Valentine's card since my second year!"
"The tales of your desperation and stupidity do not interest me," said Marlene. "Now off with you. And tell your friends to leave June alone!"
They didn't need much more warning. Both of them scampered down the corridor.
Marlene turned to June. "Little trollops. They really haven't changed. Not even their tactics or originality. I can't say I'm surprised, of course. They're threatened by any girl who so much as speaks to him."
"You've – you've, um. Seen this before?" asked June.
"They made life miserable when we were dating," said Marlene. "Had my bag turned into a toadstool once. And I'm terrible at transfiguration, so I had to ask McGonagall's help."
June giggled. They began to walk together. June hesitated, but she didn't think there was any possibility of getting out of a walk with someone who had just saved her.
"You'll be careful, won't you?" asked Marlene. "They can be vicious when they want to."
June nodded. "Could you – could you, erm – not – not tell – that is, not – not say anything?"
"To whom? Your boyfriend?"
She blushed. "He's not my boyfriend."
Marlene rolled her eyes. "Okay, June."
"He isn't," she insisted. "But anyway – could you… could you – avoid telling – anyone?"
Marlene sighed. "Alright. But you're going to have to be careful if you don't want people to know. I understand the impulse, of course. I didn't want anyone to know either. Except, perhaps, Sirius."
"Definitely not him!" June said, suddenly articulate.
Marlene seemed exasperated again. "Alright, Williams. Your funeral."
June didn't want to test Marlene's theories about just how vicious Sirius' fanclub was, but she didn't have to. Over the next week, it seemed that their strategy was to make June miserable, to whatever extent they could. It was bizarre that people could come up with so many different and new ways to bully a person, thought June to herself. She didn't have the instincts for this sort of thing anymore. Three years of invisibility has spoiled her – she no longer operated with as much suspicion as she used to.
It was a good thing Marlene had experience with this specific brand of bullying. She had a presence of mind better than June's – if she noticed it happening, she would confront the people involved and soundly tell them off. It kept people laying low for at least a few days. She was also the one to give June a bunch of different remedies and spells to what seemed to be a relatively unoriginal pool of ideas from Sirius' fanclub.
June was able to keep everyone else out of it. She didn't think Sirius had noticed. Sarah seemed suspicious when her hair had turned to algae, but June was able to hide most other incidents by performing the wide variety of counter charms Marlene had supplied.
And It wasn't just the fanclub that had noticed her relationship. Three weeks into January, when June climbed up to the dormitory, she found Lily hanging upside down from the foot of her bed, and Marlene and Mary sprawled on the floor. "June!" she said. "Come join us. Mary brought the prettiest nail polish."
June hesitated.
"You cannot be friends with Sirius Black and not be friends with us," Marlene informed her in no uncertain terms. "I will not have it, Williams, I promise you that. I'll make your life a living hell."
She giggled. "Alright," she said. She sat down at the foot of Lily's bed. Mary sat opposite her, while Lily was sprawled upside down on her bed, her head hanging down from the side and near June. She grinned at June. "So!" she said excitedly. Her hair fell like waves below her.
"So…?" asked June.
Mary grabbed her fingers. "Perhaps a lighter shade for you," she murmured, wandering off. Marlene slid into her place instantly. Lily got up in the bed, and clambered down to the floor as well.
Marlene raised her eyes heavenward. "You really are obvious, Lily."
"I am not," said Lily at once.
June hesitated again. "What -?"
"What's going on between you and Black, Williams?" asked Marlene directly. "Don't think we haven't noticed your airy little head bent alongside him, doing your homework."
"That's… that's all, though," promised June.
"Really?" said Mary, sliding back into place, and grabbing her hand.
"Yes," swore June. "I wouldn't – you remember – you remember what he was like…"
She noticed Marlene and Lily exchange a look, while Mary studiously painted her nails.
"That was years ago," said Lily.
June shrugged. "I dunno. He's nice and everything now, but I dunno…"
"You're having fun cooking up a storm in your head over this, aren't you?" asked Marlene shrewdly.
June blushed. "Only a little."
"Invite us to dinner sometime," said Marlene. "I'd love a sampling of the nonsense going on in your head."
It was one of the reasons she didn't want to say anything to Sirius about all the bullying – she knew he was beginning to notice. He had looked perplexed a few times when something odd had happened to her around him – but hadn't said anything. She worried about what he would say, and she really couldn't guarantee her reaction if he said something insensitive.
"It's not – it's not –"
"Marlene, you really are –"
"There!" said Mary. "You're done. Well, this is as good as it gets."
June stared at her nails. They were now a nice, periwinkle blue.
"All of you get too upset too easily," huffed Marlene.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Weren't you the one that started crying when Alice Fortescue told you off in front of everyone?"
"Crocodile tears, Lily dearest," sneered Marlene. "I wasn't actually that upset. I was just doing it to get off detention."
"I don't mind that you did that, but I am offended that it worked," said Mary. "You were out kissing Abbot by evening. I don't know how you do that, Marlene – you were kissing Gudgeon at the breakfast table and Abbot by evening."
"Just because you haven't kissed anyone," said Marlene.
Mary didn't contradict her. This June found very confusing. She was very certain that even if you discounted the few dates Mary had been on during her fourth year, she had been seeing someone in third year. June had no idea how they had snuck into the dormitories – and she was sure that the others hadn't noticed, but this was her speciality. She didn't want to pry into Mary's affairs, however, so she didn't say anything. Besides, Marlene was going off again:
"… Alice Fortescue has no business scolding me for kissing anyone on the breakfast table!"
"God alone knows why you were kissing Davey Gudgeon," said Mary, now painting her toenails. "He's an awful kisser."
"You told me that and I just had to test it out, as you very well know, Macdonald," said Marlene.
June was beginning to feel unnecessary to the conversation.
"Anyway," said Marlene. "June would agree with me. Alice was wrong to tell me off for a kiss, isn't she?"
"Well…" said June. "I wouldn't – that is, I wouldn't want to be kissing anyone – erm. At the breakfast table."
"Oh, you're useless. I'll have each and every one of you kissing at the breakfast table by the end of the year, and tell all of you off. Even Alice."
"That wouldn't require much, though," said June absently.
"It wouldn't?" asked Lily.
"She's… she's seeing Frank Longbottom, isn't she?" June said. She was looking at her nails again, not at everyone else, or she would have spotted Lily's shock.
"She's what?" demanded Marlene at once.
June looked up at her tone. "Frank… Longbottom? The Head Boy?"
"We know that," said Marlene waspishly. "She's dating him?"
"Um… I think so?" said June. "I mean – either that, or that time I saw them kissing in the bookshop in Hogsmeade was just a very… erm… enthusiastic agreement on the principles of divination."
A pause. "What were you doing in the bookshop?" asked Lily. Thank God June generally had her wits about her.
"I'd gone to have my copy of Advanced Potion Making repaired. It's falling apart."
"No one cares about that," said Marlene.
"I do," offered Mary kindly. June smiled at her, but she wasn't entirely sure why.
"- I cannot believe Alice had the gall to tell me off when she's dating the head boy. She's the head girl! How gloriously unprofessional."
Marlene was grinning from ear to ear at this indiscretion on Alice's part. June wasn't sure what she had done exactly. She didn't know it wasn't common knowledge that they weren't dating.
"I didn't know you didn't know," she said. "I thought you'd have noticed. I knew before I walked in on them snogging – his pupils are always dilated around her."
"What?" asked Mary.
"Um – when you like something – your pupils… dilate."
Lily blinked. "Okay…"
"It's… it's a thing!' said June. "I promise. I noticed way back in fourth year, when Potter's pupils –"
She bit her lip, looking at Lily. Marlene toppled off in laughter, while Mary looked amused.
"Potter really is ruining my life," murmured Lily.
"Anyway," said June, having had enough of talking. "I'm going to go to bed?"
"Goodnight," said Lily, watching her get up. She crawled to her own bed. "I think I'll sleep as well."
"You don't get to brush, June," Mary said strictly. "Let that polish cool."
June sighed. She didn't brush her teeth that night, but she had no intention to sleep. It was late: eleven at night, and getting later. By the time she went back to the dormitory, Marlene and Lily were already in bed. Marlene was flipping through a magazine, while Lily wasn't even pretending to be industrious. She had fallen asleep already. Mary crawled into bed after June was already tucked in. She was reading the notes in the corner of the Advanced Transfiguration again.
The lights flickered off one by one. June stayed awake, eventually turning her lamp off and pretending to sleep. When there was nothing more than the soft snore from Mary's bed left, she stood up. She hunted out a book from under her bed – nearly dropped something, and grabbed the book again.
She crept to the boy's dormitory. She never stayed long – only enough to see the boys sleeping, making sure no one saw her, and switching the books. She padded outside softly as soon as the transaction was completed. As always, instead of heading to her dormitory – she went downstairs first, to read the note.
Dear Reader,
It was a good thing you gave me this for over Christmas. It was… denser than the other things you've given me. Even the historical fictions. I don't know what to say about this one – I had so many thoughts. About history, about writing, about the stories we find from times gone by. It was a good book – I took my time with it, because it was clear that you did as well. I could see it in your thoughts.
Hope you had a good Christmas, and a better New Year. I'm… really enjoying all your taste. This one in particular had been pausing many times, to rethink everything I knew about history. I suppose we get so busy with Goblin wars and Troll battles that we forget that our history is far more entwined with the Muggles than we'd like to imagine. I would like to… one day, maybe – talk to you about what you think of how our stories have been written.
Best,
S
June hugged the book to her chest as she read the letter. She sighed when she was done. It was a dense book – heavy in concept and idea, in thought and feeling. She was glad he had taken his time with it. With nothing else to contemplate but the unnatural speed of her heart and the mix of dread and excitement at the concept of meeting him – for real, June decided to go to bed.
A few minutes after she was settled in her bed, Marlene tossed in her own bed and her eyes fluttered open. Nothing seemed amiss, however, so she turned over and tried to fall asleep again.
Love reviews, as always!
