Hello again! I'm living for all your comments, they've been so entertaining. I'm also glad no one found the north tower too sloppy a setting and everyone had a good time? We are vibing my friends.
There's an error in this chapter title again in that the works of Keats as edited by Helen Vendler didn't come out until 1981, around five years after the setting of this story. I'm really hoping you guys will let it slide, since I really like Keats and I could not find a pdf of an edition before or during 1975. All the other chapter titles are of books that were prior to 1975, with the exception of the spell books because Rowling is a hack who can't do worldbuilding with any sense of time in place and the wizarding world seems to exist in stasis. But anyway, just pretend the book existed five years prior for no good reason and we will pay no attention to the butterfly effect.
Anyway, thank you for all your reviews, as always. Thank you to my beta again, she's worked on this despite being sick? WE LOVE A QUEEN!
Guest Reviewer: Aww thank you so much! I do enjoy writing Sirius taking charge, and June being taken off guard. Thank you for your review!
The Odes of John Keats, edited by Helen Vendler
She stared moodily at her plate.
It was early. She had piled her plate with sausages and toast, but her heart wasn't in it. Every time she heard someone entering the Great Hall, she jumped. Anything could set her off: footsteps, chattering noises, anything.
This time a large crowd entered the great hall. June scanned the crowd for a second before she was satisfied that the person she was dreading wasn't there.
There was someone she did want to see heading towards her. Sarah scurried towards her, her carroty red hair braided loosely.
"Hey!" she said, sitting down at the Gryffindor table. "So, Black –"
"I," declared June. "Am not speaking to you, you traitor."
"Oh come on, June," said Sarah placatingly.
"No! Why on earth did you tell him where I was?"
"I honestly have a strong feeling he already knew," said Sarah. "Because he didn't really ask for your location. Just a confirmation of his suspicions."
June glared. "It was Mary. I'm going to have to kill her, and you have to help me."
"How the fuck did Macdonald know?" said Sarah. "Not that I have anything against her, but she's not exactly the brightest bulb in the lot. I would know."
June had no idea how Sarah would know, but she moved past that, clutching her fork tightly. "I forgot about it entirely, but when I first found the wrong Advanced Transfiguration in my bag, Mary was sitting next to me. And she told me to go find the owner some other time."
"Now who's fault is that, Williams?" asked Sarah in her let's-all-be-reasonable voice.
"Still yours," said June. "If you had been friends with me from before you would have been sitting next to me."
Sarah's lips twitched. "You're avoiding the main thing," she said. "What did he say when he found you?"
June blanched. She rolled a sausage from one side of her plate to another with her fork.
"June?"
Still nothing.
"June, you'd better –"
"He kissed me!" she burst out.
A few people sitting nearby looked at them. Sarah grinned at them apologetically and turned back to June.
"I got that, Williams, you needn't scream it…"
"I'm sorry," said June, her voice close to a sob.
"Nevermind. So he kissed you."
She nodded.
"That's good, right," said Sarah, really trying to cheer her up. "He wasn't drunk or anything. That's not a mixed signal."
Again, she nodded, then swallowed.
How could she explain this to Sarah?
"What's the problem, June?"
"I think he asked me out," said June, her voice a slip of a sound. She hadn't meant to say that – she had meant to tell Sarah how scared she was, and how nervous she was – and how until it was romance from the sidelines, it was manageable. Writing letters seemed infinitely more manageable compared to actually talking to Sirius, confirming whether or not they were going on a date, figuring out what to wear, and, and, and -
Sarah blinked. "Hogsmeade?" she asked.
June nodded. "I mean – he didn't – he sort of told me he'd pick me up for the weekend in the morning. He didn't clarify –"
"I think we can safely say he asked you out."
"I know," said June, her voice still quivering.
"You're not making sense right now, Williams."
"I've… never dated before."
There. She'd said it. Not everything, but some of it. She wished she didn't go red in the face at the drop of a hat; Sarah might think was embarrassed or something. Not for the first time she regretted the business of making friends – it had required a lot of learning, and she wasn't certain she was good at it to begin with. Romance was all that with even more steps – and she was supposed to try it for the first time with someone who had a new girlfriend every year? Mary give her strength.
Sarah laced her fingers and put her hands in front of her.
"I know – but it's alright, right?"
"No, and you know it's not," snapped June. "You're probably the only person who understands. You don't just go from not dating anyone to dating Sirius Black. That's a recipe for disaster."
"Oh, come on, Williams –"
"How would you feel if you had a date with Lily Evans tomorrow?"
"You and I both know that James Potter would be a bigger worry in that case –" teased Sarah.
"Sarah!" said June, indignant.
"Alright, alright. I would be unbelievably stressed. And very panicky, because I don't know whether Evans is a lesbian, so what is she doing this for –"
"Oh, for crying out loud," sighed June, turning back to her plate.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look, it's just one date," said Sarah, finally looking at her own plate.
"With Sirius Black."
"With… Sirius Black," she paused in the middle of serving herself scrambled eggs. "Alright, I'll admit this is bad."
"Yes!" exclaimed June.
"But he likes you –"
"He likes many people –"
"You know that's a flimsy argument, June."
June sighed. "I know. He's not – I'm so nervous, Sarah. I can't tell you how many times I've broken into goosebumps at the thought of Hogsmeade now. I can't fully express how nervous I am. I'm panicking over something that hasn't happened, either – and how do I even know he meant it to be a date?"
Just then a large troupe of uniformed people walked in, and June jumped. They were all wearing the tell-tale red and gold of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. June sighed in relief.
"You're very nervous, aren't you?" said Sarah slowly.
"What gave it away?" asked June, miserable. They were both distracted, because that minute, James headed straight for where they were sitting.
"Morning, Williams," said James, hopping into place. "Freegood."
"Morning, Potter," said Sarah.
"What were you both talking about?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows in an obvious signal of having spoken to Sirius the minute he returned from the North Tower.
"The merits and demerits of dating Lily Evans," said Sarah.
"Oh," said James, taken aback. "I – er – why?"
"I'm looking for a date, Potter," said Sarah. "For Hogsmeade."
"But why would you go with Evans? She's a girl."
Sarah's eyes gleamed dangerously.
"Oh! Oh," he said. He paused, loading his plate with eggs. "Um – please, please don't ask Evans."
"Why not?" asked June.
"She'd definitely say yes to you before she says yes to me," he said, nonplussed.
"Would she?" asked June, curious. "I dunno, Potter. Your chances are stronger than ever."
"They are?" he asked, perking up as he buttered his bread. "Really? Truly?"
"Oh, fuck," said Sarah. "I can't crush his dreams."
June snickered. "You have a good chance now, James. Just go on and on about Jane Eyre. Her pupils are dilating when she speaks to you."
"What does that mean?"
June chewed her lip, debating on whether or not she should be handing out information like this about her friends. "When you desire something, your pupils dilate."
James looked like she had just told him Christmas was coming early. "I could kiss you, Williams."
"Don't," said June primly.
"You're right, Padfoot would kill me."
June blanched.
"Be careful, Potter," said Sarah, taking a sip of her orange juice. "She'll have your hide if you mention that."
"Why?" he asked, his eyes wide.
"She's fucking nervous," said Sarah. An owl dropped a newspaper near Sarah. She handed him some sickles, and unfurled the paper.
"You're nervous?" asked James. "But why? He really likes you."
She really wished James hadn't said that. Now she felt like turning to stone.
Momentarily distracted by James, she looked at her plate again. If someone had told her this is how her sixth year in Hogwarts would have gone, she'd have had a coronary. She was having a coronary this minute, even if everyone else seemed oblivious to it. Sarah began slowly spooning some eggs from her own plate. So preoccupied was June that she forgot to check for the one thing she had been dreading all this while.
Sirius Black entered the Great Hall, along with Marlene and Lily. All three of them were coming to where June was sitting, and no one but Sarah had noticed.
She raised her eyebrows when Sirius stood directly behind June. He motioned her to keep quiet. Marlene, standing behind Sarah, rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything. Lily was suppressing a smile.
Sirius sat down next to June, and she jumped. Before she could say anything, he pecked her on the cheek.
Marlene bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing. "Morning, everyone," said Sirius.
June's face might have been on fire, because no one said anything to her. Yet, they were all grinning like it was her birthday and they had planned a surprise.
"Budge up, Freegood," said Marlene.
Sarah made space without a word, still smiling.
"I say, pass the sausages," said Sirius. James dropped a sausage as he handed them over.
"Potter, you're eating tomato sauce with your eggs again," said Lily.
"I like it, Evans."
Forks and knives clicked. Someone asked for the rolls to be passed. June, still red, felt like she wasn't going to be able to move at all.
Sarah popped over her newspaper and spooned some more of her eggs into her mouth. The corner of her newspaper swiped across Marlene's cheek.
"Freegood, why are you here?" demanded Marlene, rubbing her cheek. "Do you have no other friends?"
"I would hardly call you lot friends," said Sarah. The delivery was hampered by her smile.
"Take care of your actual friend," said Marlene, cutting an omelette. "She looks ready to burst."
"That's normal," reassured Sirius hurriedly.
June blinked. "It most certainly is not."
"Oh, really?" asked Sirius, and he had a sharp twinkle in his eye.
"Loosing battle, June," said Sarah, without looking up from her newspaper.
"Yes!" said June. "I'm not always – I can operate just fine under pressure."
"Prove it."
He was smirking at her, and June really couldn't take it anymore. Before she could really do anything, he kissed her. It was brief, momentary, and he barely lingered, but Sarah told her later that she had been getting redder and redder in the process, and if anything, that made June feel worse.
As soon as he did it, she clapped her hands to her mouth.
To her horror, Sirius Black was grinning away.
"HA!" said Marlene, breaking the silence. June buried her face in her fingers, because a number of people were now looking at her curiously. "Ha!" repeated Marlene. "That's two, Lily. You and Mary are next!"
"What?" asked Lily blankly.
"Snog during breakfast!" said Marlene, waving a fork with a bit of sausage in her direction. "You are next. And then Mary, too."
The bit of sausage flew in James' general direction, and he picked it off the table and ate it. Lily grimaced at him, but he looked fairly shameless.
"Once again, I'd hardly call that a snog, Marlene," said Lily, ignoring James and turning to Marlene.
"For Williams?" asked Marlene. "They practically fucked, Lily."
"Okay!" exclaimed June, getting up. Her heart was sinking so fast, it was somewhere near her stomach. "Alright! I am – I am leaving. I am going to go scream into a pillow, and keep praying to the earth to consume me. The bitch has not done it yet, but here's hoping. I am not going to see you again until I can breathe normally," she said, pointing a finger at Sirius Black. "And you are all – you are all allowed to leave me the fuck alone."
Another silence. Then:
"I did not know she swears this much," mused Sirius.
"You are going to find out so much about her, Black," said Sarah, from behind her newspaper. "She swears like a sailor."
"Really?" said Sirius, looking impressed. "Why not around me?"
"Isn't it obvious?" asked Marlene. "It turns you on."
"And she knows that?" asked Sirius, looking even more impressed.
"I am leaving!" June all but screeched. Grabbing her bag, dropping one egg, and the rest of her dignity, she scuttled out of the Great Hall, her face red. As soon as she was out of the Hall, she leaned against the wall and breathed deeply.
Sarah swanned out, grinning. "Here," she said, dropping a book in June's hands. "He said it would make you feel better."
June glared, but she looked at the cover of the book. It was a collection of poetry by Keats.
"Honestly, I have no idea how he knew you'd like that," said Sarah.
June clutched the book. "No," she said with a frown. "I don't know either."
"You mean you've never mentioned Keats?"
June shook her head.
"Fantastic," said Sarah, still grinning. "Potions?"
She nodded, numbly.
For half a second, she turned around and thought about returning to say thank you. Sarah grabbed her wrist. "No," she said. "He said you'd want to, but you'd be late for class."
June listened. She didn't think she'd have been able to anyway – she felt like she couldn't look at him right now. Her skin felt alien. What made it feel even more out of place was that Sarah was not thinking of her unease at all. She avoided looking at Sarah throughout their walk to the dungeons. It didn't help, though. Sarah didn't have to say anything to convey what she was thinking. But June wasn't thinking about how nice it was to be wanted, to be dating, or to be liked by Sirius Black. One thing echoed in her head over and over, and it was something else Marlene said. She didn't have the heart to face up to it.
The peck at the breakfast table was another element from the original! As is June's nervousness and stress, those were both things that happened in My Dear Fellow and have carried forward into this one. Don't worry everything will be resolved!
As always, reviews are my bread and butter.
