Hey everyone. Apologies for disappearing again. I really have nothing to tell you except that once again, my mental health just tanked. Out of nowhere. Well, out of somewhere - **gestures broadly at the world**
Anyway, I feel bad for disappearing for over a month without an explanation, but I really do have the rest of the chapters written. I will try to publish them on time. I think something about being late in publishing when you write something that really depends on you publishing regularly kills your motivation to publish even more. You sort of know when you come back your readers may have... moved on. In any case, I hope you're all well - and I sincerely hope you still want to read this story. Love you all, and here's the recap from the last chapter, since I got delayed last time as well.
Also, I think I will do a quick recap of what has happened so far, since you know, it's been so long: Sirius found out that June was the one exchanging books with him, and once he did his confusion between the two girls he was interested in became significantly easier to deal with. He found her and asked her out, they went on a date together and barring a few hurdles (June's nerves) have been mostly okay. Meanwhile, Marlene and Mary have been cold to each other since Marlene found out Mary is actually attracted to women. Remus and June have come to something of an understanding together, and it's actually developing into a nice friendship. Lily and James are vibing.
I think the last chapter was the one where Sirius visits June's home, it was my favourite chapter from this story and all that. We stopped at the point where Sirius was taking June to Andromeda's home.
The Willing Hostage by Elizabeth Ashton
June's first mission once she stepped on to platform nine and three quarters was not to find a coach and a seat, but Sarah. Sirius pretended he was offended by her preferences, but she was around two thirds certain he was only joking. He did concede to spending some time with them before returning to his friends after June pointed out that she was always with the Marauders, and he'd never really spent time with Sarah, just the three of them. All he really did while spending time with "just the three of them" was tease her incessantly with Sarah, claim that he was a better kisser than Dawn Forester, and kiss her once before he left to find his friends. Sarah rolled her eyes, but smiled when she saw June melting away, blushing a bright pink and staring outside the train window like she was in a goddamn Hollywood classic.
"He's really got you, hasn't he?" Sarah sniggered.
June threw an empty box of Bertie Bott's at her. She was lucky Sirius had already polished it off.
"How was Black's cousin?" asked Sarah.
June thought about telling her more about Sirius' family, but for once, telling Sarah everything didn't come naturally to her. This felt more private – something she couldn't share easily. Then, June thought about telling that everything had been terribly middleclass, but Sarah was middleclass too. Middleclass people got very offended when you pointed it out to them. "She was… well, she's a better cook than I am. I liked her daughter. She gave me a Roald Dahl."
Sarah bit a smile. "Children's books, eh? How dreadfully normal."
Finally, June grinned.
The second thing that happened was more explosive. The tension between Marlene and Mary had to go somewhere, after all.
Lily and Mary were curled up on the sofa. James was incidentally talking to Lily animatedly about Quidditch, and Lily had a fond look on her face as he did. June bit her lip, because she knew where she had seen that look before – and it didn't bode well for Lily, not at all. Sirius was watching them, equally amused. Remus hadn't arrived back yet, and June could easily guess why. She didn't comment when Sirius told her it was because of his "furry little problem." Peter, feeling less needed amongst what was clearly becoming two sets of couples and a preoccupied Mary, had opted to sleep early. June knew that what he really wanted to do was copy some of Sirius' homework, but like he was going to say that.
June was diligently writing a letter to Dora, sitting near Sirius' knees. She had used a large notebook to support this endeavour, and she was scribbling away her thoughts on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She'd have to remember to sneak into the kitchens to find some chocolate to send her, and she had to remember to ask for a copy of the photograph of Sirius and Dora. Sirius was playing with her hair from time to time, reading his book.
"What are you reading?" asked June, chewing the end of her pen. She was contemplating the paragraph she had written on the possibilities of a chocolate river.
"The Willing Hostage."
June blinked. She turned to look at him, which was hard, since he was on the armchair. "What?"
He smirked. "You said you liked erotica."
Her cheeks felt warm. "What the fuck."
He leaned forward, and tapped her on the nose with a single finger. "Sarah gave it to me."
"I'm going to kill her," swore June, turning around again, her back to him.
Sirius nudged her with his knee. "Oh come on, it's just giving me some good ideas."
June was about to respond very acerbically, but their tiff was gaining the attention of the others on the sofa.
"What are you guys talking about?" asked Mary, interested. The Gryffindor Common Room was mostly empty by now – as nearly everyone slept early on the day the holidays ended. There was practically no one but the seventh years there, who'd already begun to look a little hag ridden by the prospect of their exams.
"She's upset I'm reading trash," said Sirius smoothly. "While she's reading children's literature."
"I read it for your niece!" exclaimed June.
"Like my niece has better taste than Lizzie Ashton."
"Aw, did June get to meet your niece over the holidays?" asked Lily, turning away from James. "Better Easter than having to dodge Severus at the supermarket."
"Yes," said June, still concerned with the idea of Sirius reading erotica. "Lily! Sirius is reading trash."
"You read trash too, June," Mary pointed out, folding her legs underneath her in the sofa.
"And you're reading children's literature," James pointed out, leaning forward.
"It's got a magical chocolate factory with a giant river of melted chocolate!" June said, as if that explained everything. To her credit, it did explain everything as far as James was concerned.
"It does?" he asked, immediately. "Hey – can I have the copy?"
"No!" said June, holding the book close to her. "I have to return it to Dora."
"I have a copy of the book, James," said Lily, with a muted grin.
"You do –"
"You'll have to wait though," Lily said, leaning back on the sofa. "I'll have to write to Mum before I get it. Oh – hi Marlene!"
Marlene had clambered through the portrait hole. "Hey," she said. "What are you lads up to?"
Far away, the clock in the clock tower chimed to indicate that Marlene had made it just in time for curfew. It seemed to be a good signal for one or two of the fifth years to shuffle of to bed, leaving only them and a couple more seventh years in the corner.
"Sirius reads trash!" said June, pointing an accusing finger at Sirius.
Marlene shook her head. She looked vaguely like she had spent a long walk all by herself – she was carrying tell-tale signs of loneliness. "You read trash, Williams."
"I wish people would stop bringing that up," said June, falling back to Sirius' knees. He mussed her hair affectionately.
"This is eventfully disgusting," said Marlene. "I'm leaving you lot."
Despite the fact that it hadn't rained at all, it smelled like rain when she left. She didn't wait for anyone to stop her. She disappeared to the dormitory before they could wave a hasty goodbye. The silence settled between all of them. Carefully, Lily's eyes met June's – and unconsciously, without thinking about it, they looked at Mary.
Mary sighed softly.
Sirius held June's shoulder gently, stopping her from saying anything.
"You know what?" said Mary, standing up abruptly. "I'm going to speak to her."
"Hey – wait!" began Lily, but Mary shook her head and left.
Lily stood up herself, but Sirius stopped her. "Give them a minute," he said. "There's no point holding off on this conversation. Either it happens or it doesn't."
Lily frowned and sat back down.
"They're still fighting then?" asked James.
"You noticed?" asked Lily, surprised.
"Well… not exactly," said James, scratching the back of his head. "Padfoot – Sirius said something was up."
"Oh," said Lily, as if it had only just occurred to her that Sirius also knew Marlene. "Of course."
"Messy business, having a crush," said Sirius.
"You're one to talk," snickered Lily, shaking her hair.
June didn't contribute at all. She didn't want to admit she had never known what a crush felt like and had been so blindsided by her feelings for Sirius that she had run away to higher lands. They were quiet for a second – June observed James watching Lily and caught his eye. He blushed just as badly as she did.
On that note, she decided it was best to see the damage upstairs. "We'd best go, Lily," said June. "It would have exploded by now."
Lily nodded. "See you boys!"
June kissed Sirius on the cheek swiftly, and he held her hand loosely even as she trailed off. She followed Lily, who was smiling to herself. "Shut up," said June, pink.
"Didn't say a word," said Lily.
"Heavy handed, coming from you," said June loftily, taking to the dormitory stairwell.
"You shut up," she said, following behind her.
They had good judgement, because even as they approached their dormitory, they could hear raised voices. Lily glanced at June, worried, who chewed her lip. "On three?" she asked. Lily nodded tersely.
June counted down quickly, and opened the door.
"… You have to be kidding me, Macdonald, you really have to be –"
"Well you aren't telling me why you're upset, so am I supposed to guess?"
"I'm not fucking upset, I just need time to sort through my feelings that's all! You did nothing wrong–"
They were standing, breathing deeply, far away from each other. Lily and June hesitated when they saw them, because Marlene looked ready to strangle Mary.
"Talk sense to her!" Marlene exploded.
"What do you mean, talk sense to me?" demanded Mary, getting more and more upset. She threw a book at Marlene, which flapped across the dormitory, before Marlene waved it out of her way with her wand. It crashed into a pile of neatly done laundry.
Lily advanced towards Mary, and June to Marlene. June tugged at Marlene's hand, but Marlene snatched her hand away.
"You are blind, Mary Macdonald," thundered Marlene. "I don't fucking give two shits about you snogging Sarah Freegood when you were thirteen. I'm not angry or upset with you for that. I'm not upset with you at all – I'm fucking furious with myself –"
Lily was rubbing Mary's back slowly. "Why are you angry with yourself –" began Mary.
"Because I've spent the better part of the last two years fucking in love with you, you moron!" Marlene shouted.
The silence was deafening. Mary was regarding Marlene with shock that bordered on obscene. June really had to wonder about her – how had Mary missed it? Mary half stepped towards Marlene, but it was a bad move: Marlene stomped out of the room. Mary jumped when the door slammed behind her.
June looked at Lily, who nodded swiftly. She left the dormitory, went outside to find Marlene sitting on the stairwell, furiously wiping away her tears.
June carefully sat down next to her.
"Hey."
"Hi," she said bitterly.
"Look – she's – she's not the most observant," said June quietly. "I mean – you both will come around, I'm sure."
"Yeah, but at what cost," murmured Marlene, using the base of her palm to rub her cheeks.
"Look, Marlene," said June slowly. "You've just – you've not given her enough time to come to terms with the information you gave her. She's not really thought about you that way before this, it's a hard adjustment, trying to figure that sort of stuff out."
Marlene laughed. "Speaking from experience, are you?"
"Only a little," said June, with a small smile.
"I'm honestly more angry her first thought was Sarah Freegood instead of me," said Marlene, leaning against the railing of the stairs.
June giggled. "Sarah's got something about her, doesn't she?"
"All Sarah's got is the power to ruin my life," said Marlene.
June grinned. "I'll pass the message," she said, placing a hand on her knee.
Marlene was so quiet, June was almost worried.
"I can't go back to the dormitory."
June thought about it. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay," repeated June. "Wait, I can think around this. It's a bit after curfew, so it might be hard to get to Sarah, and Hagrid will kill me if I'm out so late. Oh – hang on!"
She stood up, holding out her hand for Marlene. Marlene used her support to get up, and June marched past their dormitory, and into the seventh year girls'. Absolutely no one was asleep, everyone was busy worrying over stacks of notes of varying sizes. June spotted the person she wanted to speak to.
"Hey!" said Alice Fortescue, looking up from the book that looked like it had once been a whole tree. "What are you girls doing here?"
June ignored her, looking at Dorcas. "Dorcas, can we ask you for a favour?"
"What's up, Williams?" she didn't bother getting up from her bed, peering at them from the top of he rbook.
"Marlene and I need a place to sleep that isn't our dormitory for tonight," June informed her. "I know that's not very nice, and you're all busy working, but it really is for one night."
Dorcas searched her. "Alright," she said, swinging her feet from her bed and shuffling into her slippers. "Which bed should I take?"
"Take mine," said June. "It's on the far left."
"You lot okay with this?" asked Dorcas, addressing the room. "They're going to be in your space, after all."
One of the seventh year girls shrugged. "So long as they're quiet," she said.
Dorcas turned to Alice. "Yeah, it's fine by me," she said. "Everything okay, McKinnon?"
Marlene swallowed. June hesitated. "Just some romantic troubles," she said.
"I hear that," murmured the seventh year girl who had spoken before.
Alice looked at them with more sympathy. "You should go to bed," she said. "Things are usually better by morning. Take it from me."
"Of course," said June, bobbing her head. "Come on, Marlene."
She dragged them both to Dorcas' bed. Dorcas was taking her book and throwing on her dressing gown when Marlene hesitated. "Er – thanks Meadows."
"Don't mention it," said Dorcas, with a half-hearted salute. She headed out of the dormitory, with Marlene watching her retreating back.
Marlene turned to June. "You're friends with Dorcas Meadows?"
"Yeah," said June, spreading out the covers. "I mean – friends is perhaps a stretch, but we're… people who hung out sometimes. Well, a lot more a year ago, when she had more time."
"You have more and more layers, don't you, June?" asked Marlene. "Fancy you being friends with that prickly Chess legend."
June rolled her eyes. She didn't have it in her to explain that she was mostly friends with Dorcas for the Chess games. "Why don't you take the left side? I'll go for the right," she addressed Marlene.
Marlene looked at her. "You don't have to stay, June –"
"I'd like to," said June. "Come on, let's get to sleep. I know we don't have comfortable clothes –"
"You can take some of mine," said Alice. She handed them both sleeping shorts and a Tee. "Oi! Betty – give your ridiculously large grey shirt to McKinnon."
The brown haired girl on the far right of the room – Betty – rummaged through her cupboard and threw a grey shirt at Marlene. "Get changed," said Alice. "Headgirl's orders."
They scurried to the bathroom gratefully. June quickly changed into the sleeping clothes, folded her robes, and waited for Marlene. When Marlene was done, she folded her robes as well, and they returned to Dorcas' bed.
It was a lucky thing that Hogwarts beds were as big as they were, thought June as she put away the robes on the floor near the bed. "I'm just going to speak to Lily, okay?"
Marlene nodded, sitting on the bed.
June hurried out, took to the stairs and knocked on her dormitory room. Lily emerged, looking worried. "How is she?"
"Alright," said June. "We're going to sleep. I won't leave her alone tonight, don't worry."
"Good," Lily agreed. "I'll make sure this one sleeps, but she doesn't look like she's going to catch a wink."
June laughed hollowly. "You go to sleep, then. Or, try."
Lily smiled. "You too, June."
She rushed back upstairs, to the seventh year girls dormitory. Everyone was a lot quieter now, even though they were all still busy working. Marlene had gotten under the covers, and June joined her. Marlene hesitated.
"What?" June asked.
"Um – are you comfortable?" asked Marlene, in uncharacteristic nervousness.
"Yes," said June, puzzled. "What's bothering you?"
"Most girls… aren't, when they find out –"
"Oh," said June. She appreciated the strength it had taken Marlene to admit that. "Well, they're wrong."
Marlene didn't say anything to that. June held her hand. "I'm not going anywhere."
Marlene looked like she was going to cry all over again.
Hope you're all good, I have missed you. Do review!
