Hello everyone. If you're here, thank you for sticking it to the end.
When I began writing this, I was just returning to my childhood home after seven years for a very extended period of time. I was stuck inside, listening to old songs from when I was fifteen. I was leaning in to whatever was going on online with the renaissance of 2012. I wanted to give my fifteen year old self a better story, one she would have liked even more. I felt like she had some good ideas. I also wanted to pay homage to all the self insert/OC fanfictions I had read from age twelve onwards! I think we loved those stories for a reason - and to see them executed well would have been wonderful, even when I was fifteen.
Of course, in the interim JK Rowling became the leader of a hate movement in the UK. It's been complicated, writing this. I feel like I began with the best of intentions and then my childhood hero became the bad guy. And I am not going to argue that the books were always bad or always good - the books were good in part, became a cultural phenomenon because of the specific historical moment they were in, and in the latter half of their cultural influence have faced more and more critiques. All in all, however, the relationship with HP was permanently somewhat soured. I didn't feel like writing the story - and even though I had it written, I didn't feel like updating it at all.
Moreover, this lockdown has not been easy on me as a writer. I have never gone this long without writing anything, and I cannot make any promises about whether I will be able to return to writing. I just have to have faith I suppose - in myself and you guys. Because you're the reason this story finished.
I want to thank all of you for sticking with me. I didn't feel like writing. I didn't think it mattered. I've never stayed away from my keyboard for so long, but I couldn't do it - even with everything written, I didn't want to do this anymore. I still don't. But all of you kept commenting and reviewing, and it really helped. At the very least, it got me to update.
So thank you for that. Special shoutout to my best friend Anushmita, my first friend made from fanfiction: InMollysWildestDreams, carloabay, who really stuck with me throughout, my beta junieyes, the Guest reviewer from chapter 30 of ffnet who asked me if I would return, Mimkw, who also stuck with me during quite a few bad patches of writing, everyone who found this story again from My Dear Fellow, and every single person who reviewed. It really means a lot to us authors.
Most of all, shoutout to fifteen year old me. She was stupid but she knew everything. She deserves love.
I hope you're all safe and well and happy, and that the years get better. I hope that when you read this story, it only ever reminds you of being young and happy.
The train snaked through the Scottish countryside, huffing and puffing, as if it knew that it should take time with the business of transportation. Most of them had crammed together in one box, but it was very much a squeeze. Sarah had shamelessly elbowed everyone for the window seat.
They spent their journey playing Exploding Snap, and then some more time planning out birthdays that were coming. June was told she was not to spend her birthday by herself, which she found funny – because she always spent her birthday with Maria and Shankar. A compromise was found – Lily said they'd have her for the night of, while her other friends would have to share her with Sirius on the day. Sarah again elbowed everyone, pointing out that June was her best friend, and she deserved some time with her as well. It seemed it was going to be a packed birthday.
Sarah had told her she could come and stay with her for at least three weeks, even if she had to work at Ollivander's during it. Sirius said he wasn't going to be able to invite her over for a long time, since there was a year of school left, so it didn't make sense to move out of the Potters' home yet – but for what it was worth, they'd find loads of time together while she was going to be working in Diagon Alley. Even Lily wanted her over for a short period of time when Mary and Marlene were going to be there, because, "I am not going to be the odd one out while they make eyes at each other."
It might be one of the busiest summers of her life. Sometime midway through the journey, Dorcas turned up at their compartment.
"Oi – Williams," she said, getting to business. She leaned against the frame of the door, and the compartment hushed instantly – Dorcas Meadows wasn't known for her friendly temper.
"Oh – hi!" said June. "What's up?"
"Figured I should say goodbye," said Dorcas nonchalantly. "I'll try writing after, but I am not very good with keeping promises."
"That's alright," said June. "Write if you ever want to play."
James, unable to restrain himself, burst out suddenly, "Does June really beat you at chess?"
Dorcas swore under her breath. "You really had to wait the last year to make friends, didn't you, Williams? I was hoping to take my losses to you out of the school and to the grave."
June grinned. "Come on, it was bound to leak."
"Whatever," said Dorcas. "Yes, she beats me. Goodbye."
And with that, she was gone.
Another two minutes of silence. "Oh, fine," said James. "Fine – I'll play you. I want to see what the fuss is about."
"You're making me nervous," said June anxiously. "I feel like I have a reputation to live up to or something."
"Who would have thought it, eh?" asked Sirius, waggling his eyebrows. June elbowed him.
The journey went by without event after that. On reaching, they unloaded all their trunks one after the other on the platform. Sirius kissed her soundly, making her feel electricity right up till her toes.
She hugged everyone, kissed Sarah on the cheek. Mary and Marlene left soon after, having spotted their parents. Remus' tired looking mother came to collect him, as did Peter's overworked one. Sarah saw her parents, and hugged June again tightly. "I'll see you in the summer, yeah?" she asked.
"Promise," June said into her neck.
Only the four of them were left, and then, out of nowhere –
"James, do you want to go for a film this summer?" asked Lily, possessed by the ghost of something no one recognised.
June raised her eyebrows at Lily, who fully ignored her, turning the full might of her stare at James.
"Er –," said James, with a blink. "Yeah, sure."
"Good," said Lily, still desperate. "It's a date."
His ears were red again, and he opened his mouth to clarify something – but before he could say anything, really, she kissed him hurriedly on the lips, and scurried away.
James went completely red. "Fuck," he said.
"Language, Potter," commented June, mildly, putting her trunk on a trolley.
"Oh, you're one to talk," said Sirius loading her bag on top of the trunk.
James abruptly held June's hand, turning her around to face him. "Does she mean like a date -?"
"Yup," said June brightly. "Don't cock it up!"
With that she and Sirius left the platform. June found the platform for her train home, and they crossed the overhead bridges. June spotted her coach while Sirius helped her get the trunk into place, grunting as he did so. "You'll manage?" he asked her, gently.
"I did for six years, Sirius," she teased. "I'll be okay."
He kissed her again, and hopped off the train only when the conductor announced its departure.
She watched him on the platform, waiting as her train moved. He was glad he didn't try to outrun it, that would be desperately cheesy – but her heart was swelling and aching at the same time as she felt the rhythm of the train pick up. He kissed his hand and threw it in the air, the wind picking up his thoughts. To her surprise, she felt her eyes prick with tears.
At least she had this. There might be a war, and things they had to figure out together – but at the very least, she had this. It might not have a happy ending after all – but when you finished a story with a train and a kiss, it couldn't have been that bad a story.
Once again: thank you for sticking with me.
I will be publishing a few sequels, because I already have some of the chapters written. I won't guarantee completing them or writing them regularly, but I will put them up. I don't actually feel like creating hype for them - with rowling being what she is - so I won't advertise them anywhere but on this story (maybe).
