Author's Note: You don't even know how pshyced I am that people like my story. I thought I was going to be bashed no doubt… but I've only gotten positive reviews so far!! You guys are awesome and please tell your friends!! I want this one to be read. . Anyways… this may be the last chapter for a while because I'm going on vacation for Thanksgiving and I have a butt load of homework to catch up on… but I did find the perfect song for Ava which is listed below. Thanks for reading and please review!!!
Love,
Mel
Ava's Song: Love Save the Empty by Erin McCarley
You can find it on youtube, myspace, iTunes, Napster etc.
6. Memories and Revelations
Green. Too many trees. Where the hell am I? In the middle of the godforsaken forest? I don't remember how I got here…
"Run!" I hear the screech from behind me, the little girl from the picture. Renesmee. She points to the top of the slope we're at the bottom of, and that's when I see it. An army of black cloaks marching through the forest, and fast.
I won't move until I figure out who these people are. "Renesmee, what's going on?"
The little girl was now furious. "Did you not hear me!? We broke the rules! Let's go!"
Rules? "I don't remember any…"
Before I could finish, Renesmee grabbed my hand, and the forest was suddenly a blur. I started screaming, I couldn't figure out what was happening until I realized my hand was still in Renesmee's. Was she running?
We came to an abrupt stop, and my head was still spinning when a cloaked figure snatched little Renesmee, and when I turned to run away, I felt a solid arm grab me around the waist. I continued to desperately claw myself out of the iron grip, but I was fighting a losing war. The figure spun me around then, and when I caught a glimpse of the bright, blood red eyes of my capturer, I let out an ear piercing scream.
I sat up straight in bed, still screaming, and threw my hand over my mouth when I realized it was yet again another dream. I was still gasping for air when I looked over at my alarm clock which read 5:00. Ugh. This was the third time I woke up from one of these haunting dreams, but that had to be the worst yet. I flopped back down onto my pillow and closed my eyes, but what was the point? To have another heart-pounding nightmare?
I clapped for the lights, and slowly eased myself out of bed. When I got to the bathroom, I groaned to see my hair was a disaster due to not drying it last night. I sprayed some Straight into it, and like magic, the frizz ball on my head was straight and glossy again.
I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and put on a new outfit for today. A dark purple button down cashmere sweater from the girl's old clothes and sterile dark purple gemmed earrings I found in the floor along with the other jewelry. I had to look perfect. I couldn't let the Swan-Masons hate me like this. It had me paranoid and exhausted. Maybe if I dressed a little better…
I know that's completely wrong. I know that in the real world, people are supposed to judge you on your personality and heart, and I entirely agree with that statement. But I don't come from the real world. I come from the rich and pampered side of the spectrum of life, and the best way to make friends in the all inclusive private schools I've attended all my life is to wear the right thing and to say the right thing. It's all I know, and I mine as well give it a try.
I clip my long hair up to the side, letting my bangs brush over my eyes as usual, and still have massive amounts of time to kill. I decide to go online and search the Cullens.
So my parent's don't hear, I use the touch board instead of the voice word processor to type in their name on the World Wide Search page that dates back to when the internet was invented, and type in "Cullen". Millions upon millions of results pop up on the screen not even a fraction of a second after I click enter.
I take a deep breath, and add in "2009" to the advance search box, and a single website pops up. It's titled "The Truth-Superheroes in Forks". It's dated 2011, and the author of the site was Mike Newton.
Unfortunately, when I clicked on the link, I realized the site was not updated after 2020 when computers went completely hands-on oriented. Any website only usable by mouse from then fourth was untenable. Pretty soon, the government just trashed all the cyber junk in 2020, unless contacted by their users or authors to be replaced with the new technology. Many of the sites were saved by the users if not the authors. There were, however, flaws in this ridding of old websites. I still find myself, even about ninety years later, clicking on unusable sites.
I let out a long breath and began searching again. Thinking maybe I would find something the least bit useful, I found absolutely nothing about this particular family of Cullens. Nothing! How could this be possible? There was an online bio for basically every family in the world… or at least something about them…
I searched for about twenty more minutes, and frustrated, I slammed my laptop closed and shoved it into my bag. I groaned going down the stairs to eat a quick breakfast in the kitchen, and typed in the code for cereal on the Fridge. Out in front of me popped a bowl of cheerios and milk, and I shoveled it in my mouth before I jumped into my car.
I had to have some quiet time to think before I went to school. I couldn't go to school in this frazzled condition. I had to get some answers. First, why Renesmee and her "grandparents" didn't come up in my extensive Cullen search. Second, why the Swan-Masons hated me so much. And third, how Edward knew my long lost nickname.
I sat in my idled car over thinking these questions until my head hurt, and, exasperated, began driving to school. But today was different than yesterday. I had something to look forward to. The friendly, angelic face that greeted me yesterday morning. The gentle-hearted soul that sat next to me in lunch away from his family of smoldering eyes. The only boy that ever admitted to me he had a timeless classic in his backpack. Ronan Swan.
I smiled to myself, and I continued driving through the small town. He was different from the guys I've known. He was himself. Pure. I could tell by the way he looked and talked to me as if he's known me forever. He was decent. He wasn't the kind of guy to lead you on and make you fall into a trap you wouldn't be proud of later. He wasn't Joseph Kimbley.
The thought of his name struck my heart like a brick of concrete. His face flooded into my mind. Big, bright brown eyes, and dimples in his cheeks when he smiled. Hair that was golden like the sun. I thought he had been all mine. Mine. But unfortunately, that was not the case. The bliss of young love ended brutally. It was the incident that finally made me realize that nothing ended well for Ava Jameson.
To make a long story short, Joe was a new guy in the brother school of Hibiscus School for Girls, the high school I attended in Honolulu. When he came to the school, he was basically a nobody. He had gone to a public school in the area, but got a scholarship for his outstanding grades and musical theater ability to HSG's brother school. All the guys hated him, and thought he was a complete loser because he sang and danced in the musicals around Honolulu. Little did any of the guys know, Joe had a reputation at his dowdy public school for getting girls, and he swooned me in the theater at the tryouts for the classic musical Wicked.
We became known as "Elphie and Fiyero" within the first week of rehearsal, the main love interest in the musical, despite the fact we weren't even casted as those characters. He brought me out to dinner after each and every grueling rehearsal and bought me coffee on the nights my voice became horse from my extremely high singing part. He would bring me chocolates when I was sad, a single rose every Friday just because, and we were officially a couple according to his and my friends with in the first two weeks of this ritual. But it was much more than that. I thought I would be doing it for the rest of my life.
See, Joseph was the first guy I truly had a more than friend relationship with; I just wasn't interested in the other guys in the other school. The ones that were decent were going out with my friends, the ones with the looks my friends liked, and I really didn't want having a boyfriend to get in the way of school work and music. But when I met Joseph, it was different. He had the same intentions as me. He agreed with the fact that school and music came before girlfriends in his life. And I couldn't possibly get into any catty fights over him with my friends considering all of them thought he was a loser and even questioned why I would ever think about going out with the musical geek. But he was what I needed. Not the main-stream-football-playing jock that every girl dreamed to be with. We were Elphie and Fiyero… singing in perfect harmony.
I thought I was in love with him. I thought he was in love with me. That real love that I had been searching for my entire life? I thought I had most definitely found it with Joseph. But the usual utter delight of love seemed different about two weeks before opening night. The usual tingling vibe I got when we kissed wasn't there anymore. It was empty, like a soda that lost its fizz. But like a lot obvious things I didn't want to believe, I ignored it. I kept reminding myself that I was in love with Joseph, that he was going to be my knight in shining armor when high school ended, that he would put me on the back of his trusty steed and take me away from the house I went back to everyday, the one so vacant of love I wanted to scream. But the oblivion I lived in for all this time was quickly diminished on the opening night of Wicked.
Like usual, my costume for the show didn't fit, so I had to drag the pink, glittery gown that my character Glenda wears in the beginning of the show to a tailor to get it altered by one of their machines. My mom dropped it off at school the next day, and I had to store it in the costume room. I half-heartedly dragged it there, my mind anxious about the pile of homework I received and the opening night jitters creeping up on me.
I shoved the heavy door open with my hip, and I felt it hit something, hard.
"Ouch!" I heard a girl exclaim. "Dammit!" I heard someone, more masculine, curse right after her. My heart immediately stopped cold. Joseph.
I snapped the LEDS on and they illuminated the dark room. The door had hit a costume rack that was on wheels, which the door pushed back into the disturbing image I will never forget.
They were both sitting on a sleazy stool. His hand was on her bare thigh. She her legs were wrapped around his waist. He was running his fingers through her long, blonde hair. My best friend, Jen, and Joseph. In the costume room, in the dark, on the stool- an interrupted make-out fest.
Then it hit me. All those rehearsals, when Joseph would tell me he had to go to the bathroom, and I would giggle with him about the bladder problem he told me he had. My brain quickly scanned over all those times, and I remember a few instances when my friend wasn't back stage with the crew when I went on to sing a number. They were gone at the same time. The kiss had lost its intensity two weeks ago. This had been going on behind my back for two weeks. Two weeks.
Two weeks I made sure my nails were perfectly manicured. Two weeks I made sure I wore the perfect thing to make him happy. Two weeks I put on his favorite perfume and lip gloss. Two weeks I made sure my hair was perfect in every which way before I left for school. I sprayed Curl in my hair, which always left a sticky mess in the bathroom but I scrubbed off the counter for an hour anyway for him. I despised that hour. And then, the dam released.
The dam of anger from teachers, friends, and family I had been holding back for months collapsed, releasing gallons of rage that felt more intense than explainable, and inevitably pulsed from the lake behind the destroyed dam.
I whipped my dress to the ground; hearing pings of small pearls come off of the exterior and bounce off the floor. "What the hell is going on here!?" I heard a voice shrill. When I saw Jen and Joseph's faces morph into a deeply feared expression, the revelation that that enraged voice came from my lips almost scared me enough to stop the rage-filled river, but it continued relentlessly.
"Ava…" Joseph spoke nervously.
"How could you even have the audacity to say my name! This is what you've been doing for the past two weeks!? Cheating on me with my best friend! While I busted my ass off for you every single day."
The sudden adrenalin rush assaulted me, and I flung Jen's Portable that was sitting on the counter playing the annoying pop music Joseph always said he despised to the tile, and it was reduced to pieces. Was I really that strong?
Jen gasped. "My Portable! You're a psycho path!"
The little control I had over myself was then lost. I lunged toward Jen, pushing her off the Joseph's lap, and she fell onto the tile where she shrieked in pain.
Joe gave me a terrified expression, like a deer in the head lights. "Ava," he said, his voice quivering, "calm down. You're going to…"
I cut his pleading off by slapping him straight across the face, so hard, I even felt my own hand begin to sting.
"You don't tell me what to do, not after what you've done. You're scum, worthless. I can't even look at you. I thought I loved you. I… I thought…" I felt hot tears beginning to rush down my most likely flushed cheeks.
He began to reach his hand up to wipe away my tears, but I slashed it away. "You. Don't. Touch. Me." I emphasized each word though my voice was beginning to crack. "Say one word to me, unless it's a line for the show, and I'll get both of you kicked out of the rest of the shows by telling Mrs. Martin about your little fling in the costume room during rehearsals. Fortunately, there are two understudies for each of your parts, and I'm sure one will happily fill your roll. And me and you, Joseph Kimbly," I strung his name out mockingly, "our relationship in anyway, shape or form, is over. You disgust me. As do you, Jen. I'll be sure to tell everyone about your new reputation as a dirty, backstabbing slut."
And leaving my ex-closest people in the costume room, baffled, I put my dress on the hanger, and slammed the door behind me when I left. As the realization of what had just happened came over me like a dark cloud, the tears began coming in buckets, and I ran out of the school to the Magno-train where my mom was waiting.
I toned the crying down, and got onto the train, hoping for some comforting arms at the sight of my appearance. But unfortunately, my mother was talking on the phone, and didn't even bother to look at me when I asked for her in my small, hollow voice. I stood in front of her for a moment, in complete surprise of her carelessness, before I found a seat and stared blankly out of the window, as I did out of my ocean view bedroom when we got back to the estate.
I shuddered and blocked the memory out of my mind, remembering how horrible the weeks after that were. Real love hadn't found me, and I'm still not so sure if it ever will.
I stopped at the H2O to get a coffee and fill up my car and then drove to school, and I was still early. I parked my car and sat reading The Wuthering Heights for the fourth time and listened to some classical piano station when I was startled by a tap on my window. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized it was just Cindy, and not some cloaked figure about to pursue me.
A sharp, cold wind hit my face as I stepped out of the car. "Hey, Cindy."
"Hi, Ava! Max, Katrina and I wanted to know if you'd want to go to the movies in a few weeks. That new horror comes out then… are you up for it?" Cindy's mouth morphed into a smile.
"Of course, sounds like fun." I tried to sound enthusiastic, but the reality was I despised scary movies. I always ended up excusing myself to the bathroom and never coming back.
"Great!" Cindy smiled even wider, "It's going to awesome."
Just then, Max ran up while I searched the crowd that was walking toward the school for Ronan and the glaring eyes that probably surrounded him, but I couldn't find them. My heart started to sink as the crowd began to thin out as they entered the buildings.
Suddenly, I saw a hand waving in front of my face. "Earth to Ava… anyone there?"
My head snapped to Max who was chuckling. I smiled. "Oh, sorry. Didn't get too much sleep last night."
"It's alright," Max said, shutting my still ajar car door. "I'll be out of it next week when the teachers start chucking review tests into my face. I hate the beginning of the year."
"Agreed." Cindy replied, rolling her eyes.
With that, we started walking toward the school, my heart sinking more with every step. My plans for the day were ruined. I was going to ask Ronan to introduce me to his family so I could show them my decent personality, and maybe they wouldn't hate me so much. Now I would be forced to sit in a daze all day trying to figure this whole situation out.
I hated when people didn't like me for an irrational reason. It left me paranoid and confused. I just couldn't concentrate on anything important when my mind was occupied by something so absurd. Why did they hate me? Why? I hadn't even said a word to any of them besides Ronan and Edward. They didn't even know me! And what, because they couldn't stand being within a 100 meter radius of me they decided to stop going to school? Ha. Real nice. That's the most reasonable reason I've heard for dropping out of high school and ruining your whole life.
What ever. I thought bitterly, Let them drop out. At least it means I won't have to worry about their hatred anymore.
But then my mind abruptly paused. All the Swan-Masons weren't at school. Did that mean Ronan and Edward hated me too? Ronan hates me?
I felt my heart free fall out of a thirty story building. He couldn't hate me! He had to be the nicest boy I'd met since Joseph. I finally felt hope yesterday talking to him, and although I wasn't ready to let him in, I felt the familiar sensation of butterflies fill my stomach. I had found a reason to bear with this morbid town as long as his smiling face was here to greet me in the morning. This couldn't be true in my optimist state of mind, but the realistic state said otherwise.
Of course he was gone. Of course it was all an act. My life was an act. Joseph's love for me was an act. My mother's love for me was an act. Like always, nothing ever worked out for Ava Jameson. It was just one of the facts of life I was just going to have to learn to adjust to.
I heard the warning bell ring when I noticed Katrina had joined us walking on the campus.
"I have to head to Chem. See ya at lunch." Cindy said, rolling her eyes.
"Have fun," Max remarked sarcastically, "Bye, Ava."
"Bye guys." I said, half-heartedly lifting my hand to wave to Katrina.
And with that, I felt the hurt, broken Ava seep through my skin as I let the realization that Ronan was gone wash over me. It was going to be a long week.
