Author's note: Happy Holidays to all and I hope you're days are merry and bright! (I know I'm being incredibly cheesy... I'll stop now) Thank you for the reviews everyone! Please keep reviewing and requesting... love you all!
Love,
Mel
13. Against Analysis
I lay awake in bed that night, trying to separate reality from fantasy, but after today, I realized a lot of what I thought was myth, was indeed fact. Vampires existed. They weren't the bizarre creatures that burned in the sunlight, or slept in coffins during the day- the mythical creatures I envisioned while reading Dracula for Honors English last year, or the character I always tried to embody when dressing as one for Halloween.
In reality, vampires, well, at least some vampires weren't completely soulless as I imagined. The Cullens were civilized, and even though they were bred to be bloodthirsty murderers, they were able to control their thirst and live among humans. In reality, vampires are really just people; amid emotions and all; trapped eternally in angelic figures. Whether they are heartless killers, or like the Cullens, each and everyone is just trying to survive in any possible way they know how in this unkind world, just as us humans. And with that analogy, I wasn't the least bit afraid.
There was only one thing that scared me, and that was the Volturi. With Ronan telling me about him today, I was now imposing danger on the Cullens, and the last thing I wanted was to make a corruption in their lives. Despite the fact I hadn't formally met his adopted parents, Renesmee, the blonde one Alice was always with, or the menacing blonde girl and the built, dark-haired one, if they were in any way, shape or form in good relation with Ronan, I cared about them too. But, inevitably, Ronan was the one I was most worried about.
My heart began to flutter at the thought of his untidy, coffee bean hair and glowing, butterscotch eyes. There were so many questions I needed to ask him, and I would have to wait until Friday to get them answered. He was also keeping the place we were eating in the city a surprise, which was most likely to keep my overactive mind vigorously pondering until the whereabouts was revealed. He knew exactly how to torture me, and yet, I was fervently in love with him.
I turned over to my side in my bed quickly and shook the insane thought from my head. It wasn't possible for me to already be in love with Ronan. I had known him for merely a week. That was indefinitely not enough time to be sure of that ridiculous conclusion. Love took time, thought, evaluation. It wasn't something spontaneous.
Unless you're a werewolf, my overactive mind interjected.
I groaned, and turned over to face my clock, which read a quarter to twelve. I was never going to be able to get up in the morning if I kept this up.
I threw the covers out of my way and lunged myself out of bed, irritated, and began walking through my pitch-dark room towards my, I mean one of the Cullen's, CD player, and picked a random CD off of the shelf. I felt my finger along the player until I found the eject button and put the mystery CD into one of the five places and hit play.
I found my way back to my bed and closed my eyes, waiting patiently for the music to begin, hoping it would sooth my mind and let me get some sleep.
Through the speakers came one of my favorite songs, Don't Panic, but then it abruptly stopped. My eyes snapped open when I heard a faint, rapid clicking coming from the CD player.
I sat up and turned towards the CD player, but I couldn't see a thing due to the lack of light from the sky that night. All of the sudden, We Never Change was playing loud and clear, and I started hyperventilating. Who the hell changed the song?
I began snapping my head around nervously until I felt a cold tap on my shoulder. "Hey." The beautiful voice greeted me.
"Eeep!" I couldn't help but squeal in surprise. I slapped my palm over my mouth.
Ronan shushed me softly, like he would to calm a crying baby. "It's alright, Ava. Just me. Edward told me your thoughts were restless, so I thought I'd come over to help you fall asleep."
My heart was beating faster than the speed of light if it had a tempo. "You really believe breaking into my room is going to help me fall asleep? You're lucky I didn't die of cardiac arrest." I replied breathlessly.
"Don't be so melodramatic, Avs. I just wanted to try a few things." He reached over me swiftly and tapped the lamp on my nightstand for it to turn on.
When the LED illuminated his beautiful face, I could tell it was a bit pained. "Ronan, what's the matter?"
Ronan shook his head and smiled. "Ava, since I told you my life story today, I almost feel…" He searched for the word. "Relieved. Des," He flinched, "Des will forever haunt me, but I don't feel so horrible being around you anymore."
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You felt horrible being around me?"
"Anything having to do with love and affection kills me inside, Avs. I can't watch romantic movies, see a couple kissing in the park, or even stroke your hair without memories of Rée resurfacing. And whenever a memory of Rée would pound me, it would always be of the end." He grimaced and groaned, closing his eyes tightly. His breathing was unsteady, but his mouth was moving, mouthing my name, Ava, Ava, Ava.
He was breathing evenly then, and still closing his eyes, he placed his hands on my shoulders. He swallowed hard, and then opened his eyes to look at me with the utter most sincerity.
He was smiling then. "See? Avs, now you make me feel better. You don't know how long I've searched for something like this. It used to take me hours to shake Des memories off, but now, all it takes is your smiling face and flippant remarks that are now fresh in my mind."
I sat up then moving closer to his perfect face, until his sweet smelling lips were inches from mine. My heart was soaring. I wanted so much to close that space, to feel his lips against mine, but he pulled back. My heart took a nose dive.
He shook his head, mouthing my name again. "I don't think I can handle that yet, Avs. Even sitting in this bed with you brings back Des, but I was able to shake it off. That's progress, right?"
I nodded, suppressing the hurt of him pulling away. I searched his face, and then an idea popped into my head. I reached my palm toward his face.
He became ridged. "Avs, I don't know if that's…"
I shushed him in protest. I got onto my knees and leaned forward, reaching my palm behind his ear, and began stroking his hair. It was even softer than I imagined.
Ronan's features posed confusion, but I continued stroking his hair anyway.
"Making a memory." I attempted to answer his confused expression, "I bet you Desiree never stroked your hair behind your ear."
Ronan smiled and nodded, carefully reaching his hand out to stroke the hair behind my ear. His cold hand against my flesh caused immense tingling to travel down my spine, and I closed my eyes in attempt to keep my breathing under control. My heart was threatening to break through my ribs at this point.
When I opened my eyes to Ronan, he was smiling, and his bright eyes were glowing. He closed his eyes then; reaching the hand he wasn't stroking my hair with up to my hand to stop me. I thought he was going to pull it away from his hair; I figured Rée was becoming too vivid. But instead, he held it there. "Ava." He whispered.
I closed my eyes with him, holding his hand to my head also. "Ronan." I whispered back.
We sat for a moment, touching, not moving, and barely breathing. And for that moment, I finally felt it. The moment of security, the moment of reason in my life. I never wanted to let go of Ronan, and I never wanted him to let go of me. It went against all logical analysis, everything I believed in, but at that moment, I new it was true, and there was no way of denying it, even if it wasn't relevant reasoning. I was passionately in love with Ronan Cullen.
Suddenly, Ronan broke the silence. "Dammit."
My eyes flew open, my heart beat still abnormal. "What?" I breathed.
"Edward just made the signal. Someone in your house is awake. I have to get out of here." He stroked me once more behind my ear. "Think of questions to ask for Friday. I'll be ready to answer them." He looked into my eyes with intensity. "I love you, Ava."
My heart leaped. "I love you too, Ronan."
As he got out of my bed, his eyes never left mine, and he let his fingers linger down my neck and down the length of my arm. He squeezed my hand before opening my window and leaping to the ground with a faint thump.
"Good night, Ava." I heard a different voice yell faintly from outside. Edward, I guessed.
I looked up at the ceiling and let out a long sigh. I heard rustling coming from my sisters' room, and I rolled my eyes. They were probably laughing at me for "sleep talking", but I didn't care. I was suddenly exhausted. I guess nearly suffering a heart attack really takes a lot out of a person. I turned out the light, and was asleep in a matter of minutes.
I woke up that morning groggy and unwillingly to my alarm and the brightness of my lights that turned on automatically. I rubbed my eyes and rolled over; pleading in my mind for five more minutes, but when I looked at the time, realized that wasn't a possibility. I sat up in bed, putting my fingers through my hair and yawning, when I noticed a little folded up piece of paper on the pillow beside me. I unfolded it, and in small, boxy hand-writing, it read:
Avs,
I'll pick you up here in Alice's BlackJak 7. You can ask some questions.
Love you,
Ronan
My heart stuttered. Last night was real. It wasn't a dream as I suspected; that secure, warm feeling of last night really happened. I smiled to myself, and happily hopped out of bed.
After pulling on my favorite brown corduroys and clover-green v-neck, when I got to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my hair, I noticed another note on the counter. I squinted my eyes in confusion as I read this note, now in a different, loopy hand writing:
Ava,
I had Ronan drop these things off to you… the pink bottle gives your hair the shine. The purple bottle is a new concoction of Curl, it won't leave the sticky mess behind. Use it or I will track you down and do it myself. I already know one way or another you're going to look stunning today.
Love,
Alice
I shook my head and laughed. Alice was something else.
After brushing my teeth and applying some bronzer and mascara as Alice told me while she was making me over the day before, I applied the pink bottle of gel and ran it through my hair, then sprayed the thin, almost mist-like Curl that instantly made my hair rise with bouncy curls with out the mess. I smiled at my reflection and bounded out of the bathroom towards the kitchen.
I punched in the code for oatmeal on the Fridge, and opened it up thirty seconds later to steaming bowl it. I ate it slowly; I still had ten minutes before Ronan pulled into my driveway to bring me to school. The thought sent butterflies of excitement bouncing through my stomach. I put my bowl down in my sink and looked out the window at the trees, and I saw a figure waving to me from the closest one. I jumped in surprise. It was Ronan. He pointed to the side, towards where the front door of my house was. I rolled my eyes, smiling, and made my way happily to the door.
When I opened the door, he was beaming. I smiled and shook my head. "You're such a show off, you know that?"
He shrugged, and made his way around me, picking up my backpack I had sitting by my shoes. "Yeah, I'm actually told that a lot."
I went beside him and slipped on my flats. He opened up the door for me, and we both descended into a downpour when we got off the porch.
I threw my arms up over my head, trying to shield my curls. "My hair!" I yelled, and Ronan swiftly took off his coat and handed it to me. I put it over my head, and began sprinting to the car. Ronan had my door open for me before I was even a quarter of the way there, then came back, swept me off my feet, and ran me to the car. When he placed me in the passenger seat, I couldn't help but start laughing hard.
Ronan gave me a skeptical look from the driver's seat he was suddenly in, but I couldn't contain my laughter. He looked so sexy with his hair soaked, and his snug sweater dotted with raindrops. I hadn't felt this good in a long time.
After my laughing fit was over, and I was wiping tears from my eyes, hoping my mascara didn't run, I said, "Thanks for saving my hair."
He shrugged, and let out a loud laugh also. "That's what I'm here for." He began pulling down the driveway and onto the road.
I shook my head. "Alice insisted I curled it today."
Ronan rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Well, there's Alice for you. She made sure I dropped off those products for you last night. She really likes you, Ava. She's ecstatic for shopping Friday. She's dragging poor Bella along, too."
I smiled weakly. "So Bella doesn't hate me anymore?"
He shook his head. "No. She really just wants to make peace with you now, she wants to become friends. She hates shopping, and she actually asked Alice if she could come along. And believe me, that's one big gesture coming from Bella." He laughed.
I smiled, relieved, and looked at the intricate stereo system in the car. "What's the station for…"
Ronan beat my hand to the dial, and changed the station fluidly to my favorite classical station.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Again with the showing off."
He smiled and closed his eyes, listening to the song coming through the speakers. "Clair de Lune. Edward plays this song on the piano constantly."
I sat up in my seat. "Edward plays?"
"Like a professional. He's had over two hundred years of practice, and as you can probably imagine, he's phenomenal. By the way, he misses his baby grand."
My jaw dropped. "That's his? Did he write all those beautiful compositions on the CD I found?"
He shrugged. "He's the one. He would love to play with you sometime. He was really impressed when he read my mind watching your performance in D.C."
I smiled, remembering the time my dad got me a gig to play for his company party that the president of the United States attended. "Tell him to name the time and place. It's not everyday you get asked to play the piano with a vampire."
"Until now." He shrugged, and I agreed. I was apart of this world now.
I took a deep breath and leaned back into the heating seat. "I am so tired."
"Well, you better get alert quick. Alice and I have Zander 7th, and she says we have a pop quiz on the vocabulary list we got yesterday."
I was in a warm car in the presence the most beautiful creature inside and out. I couldn't care less. "Great. Sounds like fun." I groaned.
We sat for a moment in silence, and he reached his icy hand over to hold mine. I gladly took it, and then asked, "So, if you live in that tiny cottage behind my house in the middle of the forest, where do you keep this car?"
"A little ways down the road your driveway merges with. This thing is pretty much indestructible, and has an epic security alarm system that could wake people up in China. No one can break into this thing." He patted the wheel.
I nodded. "Why do you live in that cottage anyway? Your family seems… well…"
"Filthy rich?" Ronan guessed.
"I… um… I wouldn't interpret it that way…" I hated it when people asked or, even worse, accused me of having a lot of money, and the last thing I wanted to do was insult Ronan in the same way.
Ronan laughed. "It's okay, Ava. That's pretty much stating the truth. With Alice's ability, we're all set in the stock market, and Carlisle is one of the best emergency surgeons alive…"
"Wait a second." I stopped him. "You're adopted vampire father is a surgeon?"
He nodded. "Carlisle's record is as clean as Bella's. He has never killed a person out of thirst. He actually taught us all how to abstain human blood and only drink the blood of animals. He is so in control of his thirst, he can handle being around human blood daily. He's had over four hundred years of practice however."
I shook my head in disbelief. "Wow. Talk about mind over matter."
"My thoughts exactly." He chuckled as we pulled into the school parking lot.
I sighed at the thought of having to endure an entire three periods with out Ronan. It was completely absurd.
He parked next to an olive green Carmella, I believed the slick, aero-dynamic auto-pilot car was called. He got out first and helped me out of the passenger side.
"Why thank you, my kind sir." I said in an uppity, Queen-of-England type British accent.
"What?" He asked innocently. "I was just being a gentleman."
I smiled. "I know. It's kind of flattering, actually, the door holding and sweeping me off of my feet haphazardly. I don't think I've ever met a guy our age polite enough to do such things."
As we started walking towards campus, he nodded and smiled. "Well, remember, I'm not really your age, technically speaking."
"Okay, then I don't think I've ever met someone almost a hundred years of age whom has the energy to do such things." I smiled, and he rolled his eyes.
Suddenly, I saw Alice gliding towards me with a smile on her face, Bella on her heels. "Oh, Ava! I knew you'd look stunning." Alice said, giving me a hug.
I laughed. "Thank you, Alice. We're lucky the rain stopped."
Bella joined in, smiling. "At least I'm not her main project anymore. Good luck, Ava."
Alice grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me toward her, squinting her eyes and she looked me over. "Okay, this top looks great on you. So, I'm thinking on Friday we should get more of these, but they'd look even better with skinny jeans. They're coming back in London; you can bring them back in Forks!" She was beaming.
"I can't wait, Alice." I smiled back at her, and Bella rolled her eyes, grinning.
"Alright, if you would please excuse me, I have to escort Ava to English and quiz her for the pop quiz Alice saw us taking." Ronan said with the utmost authority.
"We'll sit with you at lunch! Do you think your friends will mind if we…" Suddenly, Alice's face became completely blank.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but Ronan was in anticipation. "She's having a vision." He answered my confused expression. "Alice, what is it?" He asked.
When she came out of her trance, she shook her head. "What did you tell Rose?" She asked Bella.
Bella bit her lip. "Crap. Is she mad?"
Alice groaned and put her face in her hand. "Furious, Bella." She turned to me then. "Seems as though we have some family affairs to work out today at lunch. We'll sit with you tomorrow though, okay?"
I was still confused. "Uh, yeah. That's totally fine."
I looked up at Ronan. He didn't seem too happy. "You guys go work it out. I'm staying with Avs at lunch today. I'm done dealing with Rosalie."
Alice smiled. "That's fine. We'll work it out. See you soon, Ava!"
"See you later, Alice. Bye, Bella."
Bella waved me goodbye with apologetic eyes. "Even though I hate shopping, I'm looking forward to Friday. Bye, Ava."
Ronan and I made our way through the crowd of students on the campus too quickly, Ronan with an irritated look on his face. "Ronan, what's going on with this Rosalie?"
He shook his head, obviously with no interest of talking about it. "Just a complication. What's the definition of sesquipedalian?"
I rolled my eyes at his random quizzing. "A word containing many syllables. Does this complication concern me in anyway?"
Ronan turned me towards him, smiling. His breath was sweet in my face. "Avs, don't worry about it. It's just Rosalie being, well, Rosalie. I've learned to ignore her predicaments."
"Who is she, anyway?" I asked.
He sighed. "Remember the one that glared at you all during lunch the first day of school."
I shivered, remembering the hateful stare. "Oh. She hasn't been in school for over a week…"
"That's because her and Emmett fled to stay with a friendly coven in Denali. She was dead set about this idea of me and you being a bad one, so she just fled and dragged her husband along instantly."
I looked down, feeling terrible. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Ronan. I feel horrible imposing on your family like that…"
"No." He cut me off, intensity in his voice. "Don't blame this on your self. This is just Rosalie's nature. This is just history repeating itself, believe me. We're better off without her anyway."
I shook my head, about to argue that, but he looked at his watch, and said, "Get in there. We don't want you being late for your quiz. I'll see you at lunch okay?"
I nodded, unsatisfied, and he squeezed my hand before making his way to his first class. I sighed, and prepared myself for a long three periods of absolutely no concentration.
Author's note (cont.): I hope the Ronan/Ava fluff was a good Christmas present =]
